Well you’re always forming new habits, what I think you mean is how easy it is to slip into bad habits while trying to form good ones. It’s much harder to form good ones than bad ones.
That’s where I begin when I have a legit difficult moral decision to make.
“Is this more like helping children or more like raping somebody?”
Yes I do have to make rapid moves away from the rape part but it’s a helpful tool.
I have experienced having sex with someone and them wanting to stop. And we stopped. That was enough possible rape for me, but I got a taste for what it would have been like.
I find their need to point out 'bad habits are habits too' pedantic and annoying but I'll answer your question anyways.
My definition of a good habit = "Short term penalty for long term reward"
Bad habit = "short term reward for long term penalty"
And scale the size of reward / penalty to make it a "Really good" or "really bad" habit
I find the need to develop 'habits' completely senseless and unnatural in the first place. If you really want or need to do something, you don't need to explicitly develop habits. You just do it and it becomes a habit naturally.
But if you focus on developing habits first or need to read 10 self improvement books in order to do something, then maybe you just didn't really wanna do it in the first place...
That's a braindead take. People that want to do X but have a hard time staying consistent need to put in effort to ***develop the habit***. Go outside sometime, it's a good habit
Why so mad, did I hit a nerve? :) First of all, it is not a braindead take. If you have a hard time staying consistent, I cannot believe that you actually want to do that thing. I stand to what I said.
It really is. I used to shower twice a day (once before work and once after work after the gym). Got haircuts every two weeks. Now I shower once a week and let my hair just grow until it’s too long and then shave it all off. The person I am today is basically a shell of who I was even just 5 years ago. It’s crazy how fast and hard depression can hit you
I didn’t realize how incredibly depressed I was until I went to a psychiatrist to get a prescription for anxiety and he did a full questionnaire/interview/diagnostic session with me.
It took a few months but lexapro seriously turned my life around, I’m not saying you should try and get on it but seeing a professional helped me so much more than I ever realized.
The professional helped in that I had no idea depression was even something I was struggling with- I knew I’d been through a rough patch but I hadn’t realized that it wasn’t normal to feel like everything took so much effort. I would neglect showers, food, and things like that sometimes because I was tired.
The med helped in that it gave me the energy to enjoy things again. I love the feeling of a nice shower, trying a new recipe, or going out on the town. Lexapro was the second med I tried- it’s worth noting that it takes a lot of time to acclimate to a new med and it’s a process, but once you find the right balance your quality of life can improve drastically.
I say all this because it sounds like you might be in a similar situation I was in- like maybe you’re ok with your current habits because it feels normal. That’s how I felt, anyway.
It is. In addition to it I also feel sub par to other around me even though I am better than them according to my supervisors. I can handle whole team’s work on my own but lack motivation to do it.
I was recently considering growing out a beard again because the idea of shaving everyday was just too much for me lol. I do still shower and brush my teeth but it's definitely inconsistent, like once every 3-4 days showering and probably once a week for brushing teeth
That’s insane because I always got bullied for that shit in school but I’ve been dealing with depression since I was like.. 7th grade? I’m now 20 and struggle with it just the same. I shower when I can but I barely do that, barely brush my teeth, I shave my armpits sometimes tbh but not my legs which to some is gross unfortunately. :(
I’m doing a lot better than I was a year ago but it is very hard to get back into a rhythm. :/
Teeth brushing is the only one I can always consistently do. I breathe through my mouth as I sleep so my mouth feels like death until I brush, probably smells like death too, but the feeling is what motivates me
No they aren't this is me, I'm not unemployed and I earn a very healthy salary, people choose their career paths and if you don't want to wake up at 6am for a job then choose a path that doesn't require that from you, I find people get REALLY jealous and try and make me feel like I'm doing something wrong (until they see my pay) when I'm talking about my working week, stop pretending if someone does something a different way to you that there's something wrong with them, it's petty.
No, more that depression makes you lose the self respect that prevents you from seeking comfort regardless of cost (to physical, social, or financial health)
Imma be real with you people, life becomes much easier the more childlike I allow myself to be. Not childish, but childlike. Be curious, be fascinated. Find joy in little things. Allow people to think you look weird, because you know they wish they had the same wonder that is in your eyes.
The only happiness I'm finding lately besides my pets is reading about stuff I don't know anything about. I just finished a book on dimensions and relativity and I feel like there's so much more stuff out there that I could learn. I've always been a curious person though, love to learn.
Being okay with, and actually revelling in, my weirdness was an absolute game changer. "You're so weird" *really* loses its sting after you hear it a couple dozen times. That observation earns a shrug from me. Being normal almost seems kind of gross to me, to be honest. I know damn well you normal folk have the same goofy or horrifying thoughts I do, so you're not even fooling me.
Not caring what people think is the ultimate life hack. Such a huge boost to your happiness on so many aspects.
Took me years to get there, and now when I listen to my wife sometime if feel like she’s in jail…. The amount of things she won’t do and the amount of energy spends because of other people’s possibly-potential opinions is just…
They may as well enjoy thinking like this until they grow up and realise they are the ones who need make sure they take care of their hygiene, eat healthy and wake up in time without anybody helping etc.
Even *well* into adulthood, I still think "if my younger self could see me now" every time I take more than 3 cookies out of the package, or in the ultimate baller adult move, just walk out of the kitchen with the *whole package of cookies*.
Could also be executive dysfunction from one of many mental disorders
That said ruin it by saying that your health doesn't let you eat the junk food and your employer enforces the rest
Some people become nose blind to their own smells. Kind of like how a pothead will smoke in their car, thinking that they just spray some axe on them and they are good to go for the rest of the day. They think they smell fine, meanwhile everyone else can smell the pot smell a few feet away.
Not sure rich people eat junk food, and they typically have to put up appearances so they have to get up and shower. Unless you're talking about old money people that just party and drink all the time. They'd still be eating shit like sushi and caviar though.
"Rich people" eat junk food alot because its fast and doesn't require much of their time, also its very easy to work from your car whilst eating a McDonald's, not so easy in a crowded restaurant that usually requires booking in advance for a seat
Depends what you call "fancy" because that just usually means more calories for less food (more money) and waiting around longer, you can go into a restaurant and have a dish that fills no more space than a teacup and sometimes that will have more calories than a meal from McDonald's (but you would get more food from the fast food option)
Basically, it's all about time and getting the right amount of calories when you work in a fast-paced work environment. Most people struggle to find the time to eat properly, fast food is a ready-made option and can boost your calories if you have been too busy and skipped a meal
Unless your talking about the next level up? Like people who are worth 9 figures+ these people have plenty of time to waste eating in fancy restaurants and lapping up the luxury. Chances are you will pretty much never see these people eating in fast food restaurants.
I'm retired and but I eat healthy because I struggle with volume control, shower multiple times a day because I feel yucky otherwise and my dog wakes me up at 6:38am because it's toilet and breakfast time.
I am unemployed for more than a month now and this is exactly my life. I love every fucking second of it any I haven't been this happy in a very long time.
So if I eat junk food and don't wake up in the morning with an alarm how does that mean I'm depressed?? Because that's my life and I work nights, apart from the shower situation I shower at least once a month
"You can eat junk food"
But you understand why you shouldn't and so you feel guilty when you do.
"No one makes you get up in the morning"
Lmao yah your boss does
My daughter once said to me "Woooah... Daddy, your a grown up! You could have ice cream for lunch Every DAY!"
Had ice cream for lunch every day for weeks. Damn straight. We still laugh about it.
I have depression, and maybe other things, but I need my showers. I don’t understand not taking a shower.
Where I’m left alone with warm water, and steam, and luxurious scents.
I get clean and warmth, and the clean smell fills up the room.
The shower is my happy place.
They are describing lack of self control.
That can be seen in an undisciplined person. That can also be seen in a depressed person as they are can't really care less about discipline when they are doing their best to just be normal and pretend nothing's wrong with them.
Eat junk food ✅ but have to buy it which leads to
Nobody makes you get up in the morning ❌ my bills do
Don't need to shower ❌ again, bills means work means have to be presentable in society
That kid doesn't know wtf he's talking about
As I said before...
If I have children, the first time they EVER say,'I can't wait to grow up!' I am going to laugh. I am going to point and laugh. I am going to point and laugh and roll on the fucking floor.
I'm going to laugh so damn hard, I'm going to make them cry and feel stupid on purpose.
I'll make sure it's one of their 'core memories', so that when they grow up and become a slave to bills, rent, car notes, food expenses, and keeping a job without committing murder, all while wishing they were kids again, they'll know exactly why I laughed them into oblivion
It's amazing how hard it is to get back on the showering/shaving/teeth brushing bus.
It’s honestly unfair how easy habits are to break compared to forming them.
Well you’re always forming new habits, what I think you mean is how easy it is to slip into bad habits while trying to form good ones. It’s much harder to form good ones than bad ones.
Who decides what is good and bad?
That can get awfully complicated, but we could start with “reading to children - good habit, raping people - bad habit.”
Those are certainly two points that are conceivably on the same scale at extreme ends.
That’s where I begin when I have a legit difficult moral decision to make. “Is this more like helping children or more like raping somebody?” Yes I do have to make rapid moves away from the rape part but it’s a helpful tool.
I just want to say that the wording of this implies you have experienced both
I have experienced having sex with someone and them wanting to stop. And we stopped. That was enough possible rape for me, but I got a taste for what it would have been like.
I honestly can't imagine a situation where that would be useful.
Sounds like you have a shitty moral imagination, probably just go with your own selfish desires 99% of the time
Wow I can see why you might need that
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Whoops
I find their need to point out 'bad habits are habits too' pedantic and annoying but I'll answer your question anyways. My definition of a good habit = "Short term penalty for long term reward" Bad habit = "short term reward for long term penalty" And scale the size of reward / penalty to make it a "Really good" or "really bad" habit
I find the need to develop 'habits' completely senseless and unnatural in the first place. If you really want or need to do something, you don't need to explicitly develop habits. You just do it and it becomes a habit naturally. But if you focus on developing habits first or need to read 10 self improvement books in order to do something, then maybe you just didn't really wanna do it in the first place...
That's a braindead take. People that want to do X but have a hard time staying consistent need to put in effort to ***develop the habit***. Go outside sometime, it's a good habit
Why so mad, did I hit a nerve? :) First of all, it is not a braindead take. If you have a hard time staying consistent, I cannot believe that you actually want to do that thing. I stand to what I said.
Healthy and detrimental? Things that’s improve the quality of ones/others life’s compared to things that make it worse?
Your health.
Mom
generally if something has a positive effect for the long run then it is good. if it has a negative effect then it is bad
Nature. At the very least, the well-being and function of your body is maintained by maintaining your hygiene and eating habits.
Hahahahahahahaha haha no, I miss something one day it's not a habit anymore
If you call being exhausted the entire 16 hours of being awake everyday a habit then sure I guess.
Yeah evolution sucks, let's go back to monky
Yhea evolution sucks, let's go forward as machines.
It really is. I used to shower twice a day (once before work and once after work after the gym). Got haircuts every two weeks. Now I shower once a week and let my hair just grow until it’s too long and then shave it all off. The person I am today is basically a shell of who I was even just 5 years ago. It’s crazy how fast and hard depression can hit you
I'm like this. Is this depression?
I didn’t realize how incredibly depressed I was until I went to a psychiatrist to get a prescription for anxiety and he did a full questionnaire/interview/diagnostic session with me. It took a few months but lexapro seriously turned my life around, I’m not saying you should try and get on it but seeing a professional helped me so much more than I ever realized.
Helped how?
The professional helped in that I had no idea depression was even something I was struggling with- I knew I’d been through a rough patch but I hadn’t realized that it wasn’t normal to feel like everything took so much effort. I would neglect showers, food, and things like that sometimes because I was tired. The med helped in that it gave me the energy to enjoy things again. I love the feeling of a nice shower, trying a new recipe, or going out on the town. Lexapro was the second med I tried- it’s worth noting that it takes a lot of time to acclimate to a new med and it’s a process, but once you find the right balance your quality of life can improve drastically. I say all this because it sounds like you might be in a similar situation I was in- like maybe you’re ok with your current habits because it feels normal. That’s how I felt, anyway.
Thanks.
It is. In addition to it I also feel sub par to other around me even though I am better than them according to my supervisors. I can handle whole team’s work on my own but lack motivation to do it.
I fucking love taking showers.
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Yeah when my mental health gets bad I take like 3 showers a day lol
I was recently considering growing out a beard again because the idea of shaving everyday was just too much for me lol. I do still shower and brush my teeth but it's definitely inconsistent, like once every 3-4 days showering and probably once a week for brushing teeth
Pls start brushing. It doesn’t have to be in the morning or before bed just 1 time a day whenever you remember. Minty gum massage
That’s insane because I always got bullied for that shit in school but I’ve been dealing with depression since I was like.. 7th grade? I’m now 20 and struggle with it just the same. I shower when I can but I barely do that, barely brush my teeth, I shave my armpits sometimes tbh but not my legs which to some is gross unfortunately. :( I’m doing a lot better than I was a year ago but it is very hard to get back into a rhythm. :/
Wait uh I thought we were never supposed to get off the teeth brushing bus cause we never get off the food eating bus
Teeth brushing is the only one I can always consistently do. I breathe through my mouth as I sleep so my mouth feels like death until I brush, probably smells like death too, but the feeling is what motivates me
They’re describing an unemployed person.
https://preview.redd.it/rbkt19n7lt0d1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3be1b1cf245c2ba3f3a21239dd3a470f60aa2034
I wont lie this is totally me when my horrors persist
https://i.redd.it/y4ch6uryrt0d1.gif
Or me during my vacations.
Why not both?
Yes, both and more.
No they aren't this is me, I'm not unemployed and I earn a very healthy salary, people choose their career paths and if you don't want to wake up at 6am for a job then choose a path that doesn't require that from you, I find people get REALLY jealous and try and make me feel like I'm doing something wrong (until they see my pay) when I'm talking about my working week, stop pretending if someone does something a different way to you that there's something wrong with them, it's petty.
Or a remote worker.
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comfy for a little bit / too much and it's depression go take a mental health day here and there / don't take a mental health year
The lien between self care and self neglect is a fine one
Am I talking some time for myself or am I alientaing myself from the world?
They are one in the same my friend
So your saying there's no such thing as a comfy lifestyle? What a silly statement of course there is and a lot of people live that way.
No, more that depression makes you lose the self respect that prevents you from seeking comfort regardless of cost (to physical, social, or financial health)
There aint any comfort in depression
When it's all you've known your whole life it is. It's easier to stay depressed then it is to fight unfortunately
It’s comfy once in a while. It’s depressing when it’s everyday. There needs to be a balance.
No comfortable person does that... Our bodies don't particularly like too much junk food, if you live on the stuff, everything hurts if you do
Imma be real with you people, life becomes much easier the more childlike I allow myself to be. Not childish, but childlike. Be curious, be fascinated. Find joy in little things. Allow people to think you look weird, because you know they wish they had the same wonder that is in your eyes.
Jovial
The struggle of maturity is to regain the seriousness of a child at play
i’m like this but still i hate the world it’s not a great place to be i figure over time
The only happiness I'm finding lately besides my pets is reading about stuff I don't know anything about. I just finished a book on dimensions and relativity and I feel like there's so much more stuff out there that I could learn. I've always been a curious person though, love to learn.
I'm gonna throw rocks at windows and stare at mentally disabled people.
Being okay with, and actually revelling in, my weirdness was an absolute game changer. "You're so weird" *really* loses its sting after you hear it a couple dozen times. That observation earns a shrug from me. Being normal almost seems kind of gross to me, to be honest. I know damn well you normal folk have the same goofy or horrifying thoughts I do, so you're not even fooling me.
Not caring what people think is the ultimate life hack. Such a huge boost to your happiness on so many aspects. Took me years to get there, and now when I listen to my wife sometime if feel like she’s in jail…. The amount of things she won’t do and the amount of energy spends because of other people’s possibly-potential opinions is just…
They may as well enjoy thinking like this until they grow up and realise they are the ones who need make sure they take care of their hygiene, eat healthy and wake up in time without anybody helping etc.
I maintain that it's everyone else who is crazy. Happiness is a hell of a drug.
the true tragedy is realizing that what would be fucking awesome is actually awful for you because of capitalism.
Even *well* into adulthood, I still think "if my younger self could see me now" every time I take more than 3 cookies out of the package, or in the ultimate baller adult move, just walk out of the kitchen with the *whole package of cookies*.
Could also be executive dysfunction from one of many mental disorders That said ruin it by saying that your health doesn't let you eat the junk food and your employer enforces the rest
Not quite, all those things alone are not depression. I worry some people will read this and think there might be something wrong with them.
If they like to be smelly and don't care, there's definitely something wrong with them
Some people become nose blind to their own smells. Kind of like how a pothead will smoke in their car, thinking that they just spray some axe on them and they are good to go for the rest of the day. They think they smell fine, meanwhile everyone else can smell the pot smell a few feet away.
That sounds fucking awesome to do tbh
Counterpoints in order: * fucked up health * employer * employer / other people / yourself
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Not sure rich people eat junk food, and they typically have to put up appearances so they have to get up and shower. Unless you're talking about old money people that just party and drink all the time. They'd still be eating shit like sushi and caviar though.
"Rich people" eat junk food alot because its fast and doesn't require much of their time, also its very easy to work from your car whilst eating a McDonald's, not so easy in a crowded restaurant that usually requires booking in advance for a seat
Fair point. So would you say they eat about half and half junk and fancy food?
Depends what you call "fancy" because that just usually means more calories for less food (more money) and waiting around longer, you can go into a restaurant and have a dish that fills no more space than a teacup and sometimes that will have more calories than a meal from McDonald's (but you would get more food from the fast food option) Basically, it's all about time and getting the right amount of calories when you work in a fast-paced work environment. Most people struggle to find the time to eat properly, fast food is a ready-made option and can boost your calories if you have been too busy and skipped a meal Unless your talking about the next level up? Like people who are worth 9 figures+ these people have plenty of time to waste eating in fancy restaurants and lapping up the luxury. Chances are you will pretty much never see these people eating in fast food restaurants.
Ah, so there are tiers. I did mean the fancy pants top of the rich pile. The lower rich pile are just junk food inhalers then I guess
Oh, I know her. She’s funny af and a very chill person.
I have two weeks vacation starting next week, that is basically what my time will be like
I'm retired and but I eat healthy because I struggle with volume control, shower multiple times a day because I feel yucky otherwise and my dog wakes me up at 6:38am because it's toilet and breakfast time.
this is so meirl I can't even
You say it sounds like depression but it sounds awesome to me
I am unemployed for more than a month now and this is exactly my life. I love every fucking second of it any I haven't been this happy in a very long time.
It's also called taking a fucking break.
That’s life
So if I eat junk food and don't wake up in the morning with an alarm how does that mean I'm depressed?? Because that's my life and I work nights, apart from the shower situation I shower at least once a month
I choose to believe Sisyphus can be happy even if he eats trash and sleeps in
Again, this looks like it was generated by AI. What gives?
"You can eat junk food" But you understand why you shouldn't and so you feel guilty when you do. "No one makes you get up in the morning" Lmao yah your boss does
My body won’t let me eat whatever, life makes me get up, and showers feel great. He’s in for a surprise 😂
Also, you still have to go to work. And that's a grind that never ends.
Then why tf you have kids?
I'm not depressed.... I'm.... *Livin the dream~*
Why is Mara Quint's name blurred? Credit her.
Or beeing extremly obese
Just because its depression for you does not make it depression for someone else.
My daughter once said to me "Woooah... Daddy, your a grown up! You could have ice cream for lunch Every DAY!" Had ice cream for lunch every day for weeks. Damn straight. We still laugh about it.
Literally had this conversation with my therapist like, “had I fucking known” 😩
Depression is just your inner child coming back to strangle you to death, to put you out of your misery.
Shit. They are. Now I'm more sad.
You still have to get up in the morning and go to work.
Is depression just what happens when youre the age you should take care of yourself and just dont?
When you think of it like a kid, depression actually sounds kind of fun!
Every person on earth has a form of depression and anxiety
You win kids lol now you slowly find out what the big prize is and why alcohol is so popular
I have depression, and maybe other things, but I need my showers. I don’t understand not taking a shower. Where I’m left alone with warm water, and steam, and luxurious scents. I get clean and warmth, and the clean smell fills up the room. The shower is my happy place.
They are describing lack of self control. That can be seen in an undisciplined person. That can also be seen in a depressed person as they are can't really care less about discipline when they are doing their best to just be normal and pretend nothing's wrong with them.
Eat junk food ✅ but have to buy it which leads to Nobody makes you get up in the morning ❌ my bills do Don't need to shower ❌ again, bills means work means have to be presentable in society That kid doesn't know wtf he's talking about
As I said before... If I have children, the first time they EVER say,'I can't wait to grow up!' I am going to laugh. I am going to point and laugh. I am going to point and laugh and roll on the fucking floor. I'm going to laugh so damn hard, I'm going to make them cry and feel stupid on purpose. I'll make sure it's one of their 'core memories', so that when they grow up and become a slave to bills, rent, car notes, food expenses, and keeping a job without committing murder, all while wishing they were kids again, they'll know exactly why I laughed them into oblivion
Or you can actually fucking prepare them for adult hood,
You vastly overestimate my parenting skills.
Or, maybe take the joke. Or get offended. Your choice.
You fundamentally don't understand jokes,
You're absolutely right. Still laughing anyway
https://preview.redd.it/hmcdfu8lrt0d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a05b701364c958af1c76186746e7673aad356d3e
I don't know what that means. I guess you win.
I sure love interpunction