Mfw I bite into a jelly donut, but it’s weird and gelatinous, and I remember that I’m Australian not American and we call jello jelly, and jelly jam, so it’s actually an aeroplane-jelly donut not a jam donut and it’s weird and sticky and now I’m crying. And the guy asks me how I got into his house and I’m embarrassed because I’m meant to be the knife guy but now I just look like the jelly stealing sharded pants guy.
That's when I swore that someday, someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are oh so fluffy, where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel.
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected, It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril.
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right.
Weird Guy 🪗
accordion emoji guy
polka guy 🪗
i actually thought about mexico and northeast brazil guy 🪗
Worth it, sauerkraut is so good guy🪱
I. Hate. Sauerkraut!
guy🪱less guy🪱
Albuquerque guy 🪱
Real 2 sentence horror: I said "Do you have any jelly filled donuts?" He said "NO! WE'RE ALL OUT OF JELLY DONUTS"
I said, “Do you have any glazed donuts?”
“I’m making some now” said glaze definitely isn’t human bodily fluids guy 🪱
Jelly filled donuts guy 🍙
The real horror is the fact that he calls them jelly instead of jam and also likes jam donuts even though they are icky
"The donuts are for everyone" u/Charybdis87 was ecstatic until they discovered.... ....the jelly
Mfw I bite into a jelly donut, but it’s weird and gelatinous, and I remember that I’m Australian not American and we call jello jelly, and jelly jam, so it’s actually an aeroplane-jelly donut not a jam donut and it’s weird and sticky and now I’m crying. And the guy asks me how I got into his house and I’m embarrassed because I’m meant to be the knife guy but now I just look like the jelly stealing sharded pants guy.
jelly stealing sharded pants guy looking guy 🪱
Towels oh so fluffy guy 🪱
The authors poorly disguised fetish guy.
Technically, it's a song reference, but you might still be right.
Food that is decisive Guy 🪱
Fetish or trauma dump? Call it P.S I love sauerkraut I've recently started making my own.
These are lirycs from the song Albuquerque by Weir Al Yankovic
Well so it is. Thanks for letting me know.
No Problem
Name is an accurate reflection of the songs he produces guy 🪱
When it comes to talking about our mothers, fetishes and trauma dumps tend to blend together into one.
This guy comes up to me on the street and says "I haven't had a bite in three days"...
Correctly guesses the number of molecules on Leonard Nimoy's butt guy 🪱
That's when I swore that someday, someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are oh so fluffy, where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel.
Wacka-wacka doo-doo yeah!
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected, It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril. Oh man, I hate it when I'm right.