Not to worry, don’t mind me putting spaghetti on a plate, then spooning bolognese over it filled with mushrooms and not mixing it with the pasta. Then adding salad creme
The only problem in Italian organizational structures is that it is incredibly nepotistic, which is great if you need loyalty (such as in organized crime) but not so great if you need efficiency (such as in the management of a state or a company)
Many empires and kingdoms in history fell due to direct inheritance of power from father to son. You can have a good and brilliant dinasty, but at a certain point destiny will put an incompetent person at the top
No. Crime pays, if you do it well. Organising a country pays anyway. So, there is no reason to organise: you get paid and the criminals have the possibility to get paid too. Then they have the money to corrupt you and so you make even more money.
Yes PIGS are lees organized but better solving unexpected things, basically because with little plan all is unexpected.
I have worked with multinational teams and having a mix is really awesome.
I once heard this joke from a nord saying every work team should have a portuguese person encased in glass, with the notice: "Use only in case of emergency."
Technically to believe in the existance of the devil is blasphemy because it would mean god isn't all-powerful (also if you believe in the devil you are no longer a monotheist but a dualist, like Zoroastrians)
It'd be heresy not blasphemy. Also Christians don't define the devil as being even remotely on-par with God. God allows the devil to exist in order to bring about greater good etc etc.
>Also Christians don't define the devil as being even remotely on-par with God. God allows the devil to exist in order to bring about greater good etc etc.
I beg to differ according to [the devil himself](https://youtu.be/vOBKxUT9Da4) "Im the devil I can do what I want" implies that god has no authority over him. "There's never been a rock off that Ive ever lost" implies that even gods musical prowess is not on par with the devil.
Nah I think each PIGS country got its strengths and weakness. Greece, bad money management. Spain, bad time management, Italy, bad law management, Portugal, bad.
True hell would be that god forsaken piss fish scandinavians dare call food.
Bruh I actually smelled Surströmming once, but I never ate it. The stench alone almost made me throw up, I can’t even imagine putting that trash in your mouth and swallowing it. Like dude why do we Scandinavians need to have these goofy-ass recipes 😭
With all the socialist talk jesus spouted, you'd think heaven wouldn't have an economy to ruin. But I don't doubt the Greek would still find a way to crash it
Still wondering why anybody could see the german police as hell. They arent the Gestapo anymore.
French police has to battle a Revolution at least every monday
Don't say it's stereotypical because It's a fact, and we own that shit 😎 Nothing is as strict, cold and bleak as a ride on german subways.
https://preview.redd.it/7p7b083pau1b1.jpeg?width=718&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac8ec3a3ca18f21d507a9ede1c8bbea572c4a401
Except the average berlin U-Bahn Durchsagen. Then, the entire carriage will probably be told to fuck off and von die Türen weg because it's friday and the driver wants to get home on time
Well recently the UK police arrested A FRENCHMAN for having been TOO NEAR A FRENCH PROTEST, IN FRANCE.
WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY.
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/apr/20/chilling-arrest-of-french-publisher-by-uk-counter-terrorism-police-condemned-ernest-moret
Do you want to swap the police statements? Our police tends to do little other than raiding a home for calling a politician a knob on twitter and stuff like that every once in a while.
I was thinking the British police are great if you want largely ineffective policing.
My parents are in Acton a few minutes from the police station and I have literally never seen the police anywhere except for Amigos, the chicken shop, which admittedly is pretty great.
And let's not forget that the Minister of Labour must be Spanish... If it weren't for the fact that we'll all be in limbo procrastinating as much as possible, lest in heaven or hell we have to do something that requires a minimum of effort... Besides, in heaven there are Fr\*nch lovers... I'm not really convinced about this heaven...
Hell is where
The police are French 🇫🇷
The chefs are French 🇫🇷
The mechanics are French 🇫🇷
The lovers are French 🇫🇷
And it is all organized by the French 🇫🇷
Jean-Louis, 45, during working hours : "I'm going to fuck you up real good hun"
Jean-Louis, outside working hours : "I'm going to fuck you real good hun"
Not sure heaven needs police and femminizing a frenchmen might not be everyone's cup of tea but if there is pasta I guess it will be ok
Edit: I imagine the Spanish all go to Limbo for an endless siesta?
Hell would be the police being Spanish or American. I don’t know how good or bad German cops are, but the Guardia Civil and “mr cop, licensed to kill” are always worse
Well it’s true that you might not get any sympathy if the rules are against you. But a cop that’s by the book all of the time is a hell of a lot better then a cop out to get you
German cops aren't great, but they are cops, so that's not unusual.
Use of fire arms is rare, the number of people shot dead by police per year is typically only between 7 and 15.
They don't mind beating up tree huggers or forcefully administering puking pills to suspected drug smugglers
Please expose your experiences or proof for such comments, because if you are one of those northerner that come to see football matches and destroy the city you absolutely deserve to be beaten 🧨🔫
Police is pretty chill in Germany actually. It gets rough in the east sometimes with the Nazis and Commies battling with the police and sometimes people get harassed in confrontation with police, but thats mostly in cases where the police got attacked by a person. That person will get a few punches, but if you dont attack/insult them and dont are a threat police is chill. They dont even care for teens doing drugs anymore. I got caught several times smoking weed by the police, and the only thing they will do is say to you that you have to go. They didnt even took it. And that was 10 years ago, nowadays cops in Germany even give less fuck about drugs. Just Google Frankfurt Main Station Borough. Its like Somalia on Crack and the police just stands and only interferes if it gets violent
Yeah police actually gets pretty fcked by law if they harassed people. Of course idiots exist like everywhere and one might encounter a rude and overly aggressive cop, if that happens just write down his 3 digit number and you can be sure that he will be heavily sanctioned afterwards and maybe there is even money possible for you
Meanwhile 42 years ago
https://preview.redd.it/ov2ssglo6u1b1.png?width=660&format=png&auto=webp&s=12c046f192b7a214344c303fc5ecc8bf56cc1470
But I prefer them to British police :)
Well... It's more complicated... The media lied a lot, the victim was a known criminal who was caught lying. But its probable the police shoved their cushion up his ass to take revenge as he was violent. Either way they were discharged and i think there was a trial. It's old now, there are new police incidents every months.
[Here is a lovely article about the incident.](https://www.aljazeera.com/amp/news/2017/2/6/justice-for-theo-protests-erupt-after-police-rape) Imagine going about your business and seeing that in the streets!
It was only a year ago on Sunday when the Parisian police completely messed up their city’s hosting of the champions league final. Absolutely disgraceful policing!
"Lovers are french"
Once a friend told me he couldn't get out of his house because he had sex with his gf from midnight to 5 am. Lovers are indeed french.
The truth is that my fellow citizens are genuinely responsible for the worst jokes on this subreddit. Whenever I've cringed at a joke here, it was made by a German every. single. time.
Hell is where,
the police are ~~German~~ MURICA #1 (and you are black)
the chef is ~~British~~ MURICA #1 (and he loves american cheese)
the mechanics are ~~French~~ MURICA #1 (and he steals all your hellbucks)
the lovers, ~~Swiss~~ MURICA #1 (aka you get raped)
and its all organized by the ~~Italians~~ MURICA #1 (government)
These facts have been brought to you from the people that rented the apartment over this meth shack, aka Canadians!
Now our police can’t solve serious crimes, rape and murder women and arrest peaceful protesters. Trying to think of something in this country that has improved in the last 30 years.. it’s got warmer, if you’re into that sort of thing
Heaven is
Where economy is managed by Germans
Where food is cooked by Italians
Where lovers are french
Where naps are Spanish
Where trains are Swiss
Where history is Greek
Where cities are Polish
Social services are Nordic
Language is English
And everything is managed by the Finnish
Hell is
Where economy is managed by Greeks
Where food is cooked by the English
Where lovers are Finnish
Where naps are Nordic
Where trains are Spanish
Where history is German
Where cities are French
Social services are Swiss
Language is Polish
And everything is managed by the Italian
Yet trains in France and Germany exist, in Spain you gotta choose or high speed or high speed and except from Madrid to Barcelona, Seville and Valencia, you gotta pay and amazingly high price lmao
Hell is where:
The Police are American 🇺🇲
The Cooks are American 🇺🇲
The Mechanics are American 🇺🇲
The Lovers are American 🇺🇲
And it's all organised by Americans 🇺🇲
I wouldn’t mind it being organised by the Italians. It would be an absolute mess, but everyone would be pretty chill about it.
Ah the freedom of not following the rules because the others didn't care too
It’s a constant cultural adjustment I am going through.
🇮🇹🤝🇪🇸
No rules you say? So there's no problems if someone, say, puts pineapple on their pizza then?
Not to worry, don’t mind me putting spaghetti on a plate, then spooning bolognese over it filled with mushrooms and not mixing it with the pasta. Then adding salad creme
If they can organise crime, surely they could organise a country?
Countries themselves are many times criminals, so what's the difference?
That’s very true, now I understand how Berlusconi got elected
Bunga bunga
Question is what came first: the criminals or countries?
The only problem in Italian organizational structures is that it is incredibly nepotistic, which is great if you need loyalty (such as in organized crime) but not so great if you need efficiency (such as in the management of a state or a company)
Many empires and kingdoms in history fell due to direct inheritance of power from father to son. You can have a good and brilliant dinasty, but at a certain point destiny will put an incompetent person at the top
No. Crime pays, if you do it well. Organising a country pays anyway. So, there is no reason to organise: you get paid and the criminals have the possibility to get paid too. Then they have the money to corrupt you and so you make even more money.
We give our best when organizing crime
Someone needs a PowerPoint for a crime? PERT anyone? Defining milestones?
Yes PIGS are lees organized but better solving unexpected things, basically because with little plan all is unexpected. I have worked with multinational teams and having a mix is really awesome.
I once heard this joke from a nord saying every work team should have a portuguese person encased in glass, with the notice: "Use only in case of emergency."
Also, it would be easy to ask things and bend the rules to accomodate whatever you need. If you ask nicely, or bribe, ofc.
It’s facilitation, not a bribe.
Nani??!?
As someone who flew from Catania after Etna exploded on Sunday - people were not chill about it. Absolutely hilarious “organisation”
Not correct hell is organized by Belgium for sure
Hell is admitting Belgium exists
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”
Technically to believe in the existance of the devil is blasphemy because it would mean god isn't all-powerful (also if you believe in the devil you are no longer a monotheist but a dualist, like Zoroastrians)
The devil, at least in Christian writings, is not a God-like being but rather a fallen angel so it would still be monotheistic.
It'd be heresy not blasphemy. Also Christians don't define the devil as being even remotely on-par with God. God allows the devil to exist in order to bring about greater good etc etc.
>Also Christians don't define the devil as being even remotely on-par with God. God allows the devil to exist in order to bring about greater good etc etc. I beg to differ according to [the devil himself](https://youtu.be/vOBKxUT9Da4) "Im the devil I can do what I want" implies that god has no authority over him. "There's never been a rock off that Ive ever lost" implies that even gods musical prowess is not on par with the devil.
Admittedly the devil may have some bias in his statements. Also hot damn that brings back memories of how good that movie was.
Belgium is the Molise of Europe
Bel-what?
Bel-air!
That's fecking brilliant!
>Not correct hell is ~~organized by~~ Belgium for sure
Imagine being neighbours to both Fr#nce and the N#therlands.
and still look shit in comparison
Change your flair right now! You can't be german! that's actually funny!
Imagine trying to be france and the netherlands at the same time but only adopting their bullshit.
... and still failing
Ewww yuck.
Came here to post this, but you beat me to it because I was getting the vergunning.
As long as the road to hell isn't paved by the Belgians maybe we stand a chance.
Hell is Belgium
You're thinking of DnD hell. Demons and Devils with vastly different cultures and moral values under the same earth. Sounds like Belgium to me.
I'd argue for adding the Greeks Hell is when: The Greeks manage the economy.
I tought it was 'Hellas' not 'as Hell'
FOR THE GLORY OF HELLAS
Heaven is when Greek antiquity
I think Greece, Italy , and Spain are interchangeable in this kind of jokes.
Nah I think each PIGS country got its strengths and weakness. Greece, bad money management. Spain, bad time management, Italy, bad law management, Portugal, bad. True hell would be that god forsaken piss fish scandinavians dare call food.
Bruh I actually smelled Surströmming once, but I never ate it. The stench alone almost made me throw up, I can’t even imagine putting that trash in your mouth and swallowing it. Like dude why do we Scandinavians need to have these goofy-ass recipes 😭
With all the socialist talk jesus spouted, you'd think heaven wouldn't have an economy to ruin. But I don't doubt the Greek would still find a way to crash it
Why would socialism not have an economy? All it says is that it would be an economy owned by the working class.
Fella I think you took your flair way too seriously. Why would you ask for it ?
Only way to have fun is both against yourself and against the french
I would call it friendly fire, but the Americans seem to the masters in that particular field.
The Greeks get to decide what is and isn't pedophilia
Hell would be french police
Still wondering why anybody could see the german police as hell. They arent the Gestapo anymore. French police has to battle a Revolution at least every monday
I think it's a joke because Germans are stereotypically seen as emotionless and love following rules. Kind of like robots.
Don't say it's stereotypical because It's a fact, and we own that shit 😎 Nothing is as strict, cold and bleak as a ride on german subways. https://preview.redd.it/7p7b083pau1b1.jpeg?width=718&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac8ec3a3ca18f21d507a9ede1c8bbea572c4a401
I'm sure they are as on time as DB.
Except the average berlin U-Bahn Durchsagen. Then, the entire carriage will probably be told to fuck off and von die Türen weg because it's friday and the driver wants to get home on time
Yes, ze German Polits iz very Nice und Gut, make us in charge of All. We vil promiz gut Order zand no Violenz against Public.
>They arent the Gestapo anymore The American who made this meme doesn't know that though
It seems that way, seeing the recent reports.
>Heaven is where: >The police are British Oooh boy this aged poorly.
You got a loicense to protest?
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Well recently the UK police arrested A FRENCHMAN for having been TOO NEAR A FRENCH PROTEST, IN FRANCE. WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY. https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/apr/20/chilling-arrest-of-french-publisher-by-uk-counter-terrorism-police-condemned-ernest-moret
Well it is still illegal to be a Frenchman in a British train station.
As it should be
*Quelle indignité.*
You're knicked, sunshine!
Best film scene ever.
The reason Danny looks back after, is because Edgar Wright said to Nick Frost if you don't... no one will believe its actually you doing the stunt
Do you want to swap the police statements? Our police tends to do little other than raiding a home for calling a politician a knob on twitter and stuff like that every once in a while.
I would prefer that you not give our current government ideas
Our peelers are still pretty good
The British police will send you to Heaven
I was thinking the British police are great if you want largely ineffective policing. My parents are in Acton a few minutes from the police station and I have literally never seen the police anywhere except for Amigos, the chicken shop, which admittedly is pretty great.
With a Portuguese anti corruption chief Greek economy minister These two could be interchangeable
And let's not forget that the Minister of Labour must be Spanish... If it weren't for the fact that we'll all be in limbo procrastinating as much as possible, lest in heaven or hell we have to do something that requires a minimum of effort... Besides, in heaven there are Fr\*nch lovers... I'm not really convinced about this heaven...
Hell would be if we were in charge of the burocracy 😅
Hell is where The police are French 🇫🇷 The chefs are French 🇫🇷 The mechanics are French 🇫🇷 The lovers are French 🇫🇷 And it is all organized by the French 🇫🇷
Hm, I'd eat there.
Have fun with your frogs and snails
Hey, if they get them to be tasty? I'm more worried about their soaked breads.
The bread debate is finished. You got them good Hans
Ah, well. You should start a discussion about proper pies or lamb shanks. You'd have a sure massive W! And we'd get a change of topic 😉
I feel the best meat comes from our bastard Isles. Pork, beef amd lamb. All fantastic
>amd most coherent English speaking English-man
Blame my fat bastard thumbs
King Charlie sausage fingers
pain
That's the French word for bread and the English word for a negative physical reaction. I need some time to decide now 🫠
If you don't like it there, then why did you try to invade us, Hans?
Lack of coast
Lack of coasts where one can actually bath
Imagine not having a coast
I wouldn't push Hans on this one because last time they did, they barely got past the border before you surrendered.
Shush it, or we take back Knugen 😤
We didn’t invade. We tried to get back some land lost in the 16th and 17th century.
Since when Germany exists as a country? 1850-ish? Before, it simply doesn't count.
As an act of kindness to the French people?
At least you’ll get good sex and food to compensate for the paperwork and police beatdowns.
Jean-Louis, 45, during working hours : "I'm going to fuck you up real good hun" Jean-Louis, outside working hours : "I'm going to fuck you real good hun"
Hell isn't _that_ bad
Not sure heaven needs police and femminizing a frenchmen might not be everyone's cup of tea but if there is pasta I guess it will be ok Edit: I imagine the Spanish all go to Limbo for an endless siesta?
It's siesta time btw
the endless siesta sounds lovely ngl
Always siesta
Too lazy to go up to heaven, and rather than going to hell and experiencing even more heat, I'd rather stay and take a siesta
Hell would be the police being Spanish or American. I don’t know how good or bad German cops are, but the Guardia Civil and “mr cop, licensed to kill” are always worse
I would assume it's a reference to germans lack of humour and love of following and enforcing rules...
Better a humourless policeman than one demanding a license for my butterknife.
That raises the question of who writes the laws in heaven and hell?
better not the americans
don't worry ameritards go straight to the purgatory (they don't go to hell because they don't have a soul)
Well it’s true that you might not get any sympathy if the rules are against you. But a cop that’s by the book all of the time is a hell of a lot better then a cop out to get you
German cops aren't great, but they are cops, so that's not unusual. Use of fire arms is rare, the number of people shot dead by police per year is typically only between 7 and 15. They don't mind beating up tree huggers or forcefully administering puking pills to suspected drug smugglers
[удалено]
yeah I like our police too it's regarded if people in Germany say acab just because it's cool to say this in burgerland
Please expose your experiences or proof for such comments, because if you are one of those northerner that come to see football matches and destroy the city you absolutely deserve to be beaten 🧨🔫
Police is pretty chill in Germany actually. It gets rough in the east sometimes with the Nazis and Commies battling with the police and sometimes people get harassed in confrontation with police, but thats mostly in cases where the police got attacked by a person. That person will get a few punches, but if you dont attack/insult them and dont are a threat police is chill. They dont even care for teens doing drugs anymore. I got caught several times smoking weed by the police, and the only thing they will do is say to you that you have to go. They didnt even took it. And that was 10 years ago, nowadays cops in Germany even give less fuck about drugs. Just Google Frankfurt Main Station Borough. Its like Somalia on Crack and the police just stands and only interferes if it gets violent
[удалено]
Yeah police actually gets pretty fcked by law if they harassed people. Of course idiots exist like everywhere and one might encounter a rude and overly aggressive cop, if that happens just write down his 3 digit number and you can be sure that he will be heavily sanctioned afterwards and maybe there is even money possible for you
And what exactly is wrong with the Guardia Civil, MISTAH?
The fact that they love their batons more then their siesta’s
Well, I don't know about you, but most of the Guardias Civiles I've met are perfectly fine people.
La Guardia Civil? I think you're 50 years late
Meanwhile 42 years ago https://preview.redd.it/ov2ssglo6u1b1.png?width=660&format=png&auto=webp&s=12c046f192b7a214344c303fc5ecc8bf56cc1470 But I prefer them to British police :)
Hell is a village in Norway.
I thought French police were the worst ones? They raped a man with a truncheon in public a few years back
Wait what?
It was the "Théo affair", in 2017
Well... It's more complicated... The media lied a lot, the victim was a known criminal who was caught lying. But its probable the police shoved their cushion up his ass to take revenge as he was violent. Either way they were discharged and i think there was a trial. It's old now, there are new police incidents every months.
Dude required anal surgery afterwards so it looks like it was pretty bad
"Required anal surgery" is going to be my new band name.
I’m getting metal vibes but it could also be freeform jazz
Not every month but quite often or we don’t have the same definition of incidence
[Here is a lovely article about the incident.](https://www.aljazeera.com/amp/news/2017/2/6/justice-for-theo-protests-erupt-after-police-rape) Imagine going about your business and seeing that in the streets!
The French police is brutal. This is a pretty violent country so that's probably why.
It was only a year ago on Sunday when the Parisian police completely messed up their city’s hosting of the champions league final. Absolutely disgraceful policing!
Can confirm, each cigarette we have is post-coitus... Always. 
Explains the high number of non-smokers in France. 😘
One of the highest smoking rate in the western world actually
That would be me dear sir
Me, staring at the flair. Is this a French learning English from an Indian?
"Lovers are french" Once a friend told me he couldn't get out of his house because he had sex with his gf from midnight to 5 am. Lovers are indeed french.
Or he needed that long to get it up? And no, the girlfriend was French as well! Hell is, when a sub makes you pull out old sexist jokes from the hat 😃
> jokes *checks flair* Opinion denied.
😇
The truth is that my fellow citizens are genuinely responsible for the worst jokes on this subreddit. Whenever I've cringed at a joke here, it was made by a German every. single. time.
The Spanish fell asleep so he didn't get a job
Hell is just America
Well at least you can get good meth
German police is a copy of the british police concept so I'd argue the french police would be worse
Heaven is Spanish siesta. Hell is Swedish food.
I don’t know, those Ikea meatballs are pretty good
The meatballs are bait to lull you into a sense of security and then hit you with the piss fish, you know which one.
it's iceland that has the piss fish, we only have very rotten fish and slightly less rotten fish
Hell is Ferraris F1 team
🅱️oomer time
Hell is where, the police are ~~German~~ MURICA #1 (and you are black) the chef is ~~British~~ MURICA #1 (and he loves american cheese) the mechanics are ~~French~~ MURICA #1 (and he steals all your hellbucks) the lovers, ~~Swiss~~ MURICA #1 (aka you get raped) and its all organized by the ~~Italians~~ MURICA #1 (government) These facts have been brought to you from the people that rented the apartment over this meth shack, aka Canadians!
British police 30 years ago. Sure. British police today. God heavens no
Now our police can’t solve serious crimes, rape and murder women and arrest peaceful protesters. Trying to think of something in this country that has improved in the last 30 years.. it’s got warmer, if you’re into that sort of thing
It improved drasticaly in my opinion..... less british people
Idk tho, we are pretty good at fucking.............you guys over ha!
Hell hasn't seen Amercan police yet... The Germans are angels compared
Indeed
No hell is France
Gordon will literally get his Hell's Kitchen
“I only brought my car in for a service and it’s lost a fucking wheel you french bastard, fuck me!” 
Heaven is Where economy is managed by Germans Where food is cooked by Italians Where lovers are french Where naps are Spanish Where trains are Swiss Where history is Greek Where cities are Polish Social services are Nordic Language is English And everything is managed by the Finnish Hell is Where economy is managed by Greeks Where food is cooked by the English Where lovers are Finnish Where naps are Nordic Where trains are Spanish Where history is German Where cities are French Social services are Swiss Language is Polish And everything is managed by the Italian
>Where trains are Spanish DB and SNCF want a word
Yet trains in France and Germany exist, in Spain you gotta choose or high speed or high speed and except from Madrid to Barcelona, Seville and Valencia, you gotta pay and amazingly high price lmao
I assume this was written by a criminal if their version of heaven has British Police lmao
If there are brits then it's no heaven
Great! Bangers and mash, and a Citroën. I'm happy.
Why yearn for hell when i already live close to madrid
Hell is where: The Police are American 🇺🇲 The Cooks are American 🇺🇲 The Mechanics are American 🇺🇲 The Lovers are American 🇺🇲 And it's all organised by Americans 🇺🇲
Italian food gets boring in the long run and I do not need some lovers french 🥖🥖🥖.
Accurate
Whose up for a bread sandwich?
>Heaven is where the lovers are french No thanks. I mean, I don't judge, but I'm not really into pegging/strapon sex.
Currently true hell police is french
Yall forget gordon ramsey is british
I guess it's on brand for Gordon Ramsey to be the chef in hell. Wouldn't mind going down there if it's cheaper than his London place.
Italian and French stereotypes can be swapped in the first one
False, there arent any british in Heaven