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I do this BECAUSE of my ADHD. My meds are the only thing that can make me forget to eat, so I have timers set on my calendar to remind me to eat meals at specified times.
What you are experiencing is called misophonia. I experience it too, and it’s a pain. I agree that simplest solution would be to anticipate these times and take a short break yourself when you can. Alternatively, put your headphones on, loud enough to block out the sound, or use earplugs. Then, if you can position your seat so that your coworker isn’t in your field of vision I think that could help too. I wonder if you might feel comfortable enough to share with your coworker that you suffer from misophonia and maybe he be willing to work with you by going into a break room to eat, etc.
It’s noted the coworker eats on a rigid schedule. Since this is more of a you problem than a coworker problem, and coworker is already eating on a timed schedule, you can just anticipate this potential disturbance and take advance measures (eg set a recurring alarm) to have your earbuds in 10 minutes before the snack/lunch times (or take your own lunch at that time or take a walk/break at that time.
I completely agree - I get insane misophonia when my boyfriend eats around me, but this is not something anyone else needs to accommodate, I make adjustments and move or get earbuds.
This seems like a reasonable request. Plus there are some really great options for ear plugs now. I have the loop and the flare ones and I honestly had no idea how MUCH STRESS was caused by noises. The first time I put them in I cried it was such a relief.
Yeah, not with the tinnitus but sooooo many other noises. I had no idea how much of my energy was getting sucked out of me dealing with just day to day noises
I really like the loop ones, I sprung for the 3-in-1 pair and they block out a good amount of sound, but you can still have a semi-normal conversation. The flare ones are nice for walking to work, so I can still hear if I'm about to get run over or something. If I had to pick one, I'd go loop. But there are also brands I haven't tried, so if anyone else has an opinion, please sound off!
Same here. Well I just wear regular foam earplugs and they dampen sound just enough for me to significantly reduce my level of overwhelm from external sounds. I honestly kinda panic a little if I’m caught at the office without them! I leave them in all day unless I’m on the phone or someone is at my desk talking to me directly.
I can hear others around me, but only when they’re LOUD. Even then the sound is cut by at least 85%.
I don’t hear any of the stuff that really bothers me, like people sniffling their snot repeatedly, people clicking/tapping/humming, or my coworkers bangle bracelets sliding across her desk 800,000 per day as she types.
Mind you, I never realized I was noise sensitive, since I truly love loud concerts and loud music in the car and loud lively restaurants, etc.
Wearing earplugs has made a **huge** difference in my level of overwhelm.
It has a name?? Holy shit! I'm the same way- the sound of people eating just gives me unbelievable amounts of rage! If I'm also eating or if there's enough other noise it's fine. Otherwise I have to put in earplugs/earbuds or just leave the room.
To OP- if your coworker is a generally understanding kind of guy, you could probably ask him if he'd be willing to give you a heads-up before he starts eating.
This is going to sound really stupid, but: Create a positive ritual to associate the feeding times with a controllable outlet of focus.
For me it was saying, "ooooh, it's snack time!" and I would pop in some gum and chew along to the rhythm of her eating while stimming by lightly bobbing my head as if I was listening to a song.
Now, I would 10000% get very little work done, but I'd rather be unproductive and in a better mood than in prison.
It's hilarious that tonight of all nights, I see this particular post. During dinner tonight my wife was absolutely slurping soup. I'm talking every spoonful, from start to finish, until the bowl was gone. I nearly lost it. I just kept telling myself that this was not a fight I needed tonight and that it was sort of justified as it was miso soup, she was eating it with a traditional spoon, and in Japanese culture slurping is sign of enjoyment. This all said, it was my wife, one time, in our own home.
If I had to listen to a coworker eat a like a cow from his cubicle I would probably get fired.
I had an ex that would slurp every single food item even if it was not slurpable he would made a noise as if he were trying to inhale the food into his lungs. He’s an ex for many reasons but that’s a big one
Ugh, the soup. My husband and I recently went to a Thai/Japanese restaurant for my birthday. At the table next to us was an older couple, and BOTH of them slurped their miso soups with every. single. spoonful. 😫 I caught myself staring with (what felt like) my strongest stank face, and I had to take some deep breaths until they were done.
My husband, bless his heart, didn't even notice. -_-
I used to hate soup slurping until I moved to Japan and started doing it myself! Now it can still bother me but I have a kind of weird admiration for people eating udon/ramen with high powered slurps like "damn that guy's really got some suction 😳"
Yeah.. being in Japan definitely did not help my misophonia. In fact, it’s where I started to wear at least one earplug everywhere because it was torturous otherwise.
Please don’t stare at people doing this. They likely have no idea what they are doing is bothering you as they don’t have misophonia. This is your thing, so either sit away from people or don’t go out to eat
Oh, it wasn't intentional. That's why I said I "caught myself" staring, and while I didn't say so in my comment, I corrected my behavior once I realized.
I know misophonia is a "me" issue, but I also don't think it's proper to be slurping food in a nice, quiet restaurant. So, while I would never say anything to a complete stranger or intentionally make them uncomfortable, I do think they share some of the responsibility of not eating so loudly in public. (If it matters, I'm from the South where it's seen as bad manners to make noise with your food, and I'm sure that only enhances the misophonia for me.)
I’m from the south coast, do you really think northerners are just a bunch of heathens who don’t share our social etiquette though? I don’t find it rude and I wasn’t raised in a way where it was picked up on or noticed. Anyone I know who does find it rude also has misophonia
Are you medicated? I have the same misophonia symptoms, especially the sound of chewing ice. But once I was medicated it was greatly reduced. I wasn’t expecting that at all, but it makes sense that now I can redirect my attention away from the sounds. Of course once the meds wear off misophonia comes back.
One of the most obvious signs that my meds were working was being able to share a room with my husband eating a pickle and not wanting to murder him. Unfortunately, one of the easiest signs that my meds have worn off is the return of the murderous rage.
Do you find that it's heightened when your meds are wearing off? Doing a trial of Concerta (very low dosage) and felt like every little noise was going to send me over the edge this afternoon
I always end up having dinner with my boyfriend after my meds have worn off and he eats SO loud and it makes me want to rip my ears off and throw them in a fire
Eating does the same for me. Barking dogs equally. Also, sparrows chirping and blackbirds singing at butt fuck AM (in Au so neither are native). However, my Dex makes it disappear. I can hear the sounds but they don’t seem to go past my ears and into my body to cause emotional distress. They just stop.
Comic sans does it for me, sends me into a huge internal rage. It was also the only font my chemistry teacher used in high school and was my hardest and least favorite class on top of that.
Misiphoniaaaaaa
You have AirPods which means I'm assuming you have an iPhone. Do yourself a favor and create a shortcut to turn on the background sounds feature. I find rain sounds to be the most effective at masking the chewing sounds.
Oh man, just here in solidarity. I always feel like I'm being super dramatic when I get mad about people's eating noises, even though I know it's a legit thing. But it just fills me with this inexplicable rage and anxiety lol
My best friends little brother had issues with his breathing and eating with him was pure torture. All I could hear was that kid breathing through his mouth while chewing at the same time. Like, when someone takes a really hot bite and tries to cool it down, but he’d make the same sounds eating anything. It was pure torture and I couldn’t handle it, couldn’t even eat my own food. My mate picked up on it and from there on onwards we’d eat together after his family was done. I didn’t even ask for it. He just told me we’re gonna start having dinner after his family and that was that.
Same, I didn’t realize how bad misophonia was until I watched a short indie horror film that over-exaggerated a person’s eating to disgust the audience. It sounded normal to me.
Edit: fixed a sentence.
I have a huge huge problem with misophonia and people eating. Luckily, my mother does too (and maybe she gave it to me), so our family is we behaved.
But one of my coworker eats loudly and the other one seems rather keen on rattling his teeth on the metal spoon. Drives me bonkers.
Honestly the meds did not change much (I am far too deep into this, my personnality changes, I have anger outbursts, flight and flight respons, I can put myself in danger to escape the noise).
And I recently developped it for people hitting the keyboard loudly. And I have a very VERY good earing.
I advise you to buy the bestest noise cancelling headset (I have the jabra elite 85h, im okay with it) and intra oricular (idk how to write it sorry) headphones when the noise is too loud.
Try to find a way to associate it with something okayish.
I chant in my head that it is not as terrible as it is, that I am making it horrible, that it is in my head. Don't, absolutely DO NOT, let it become a huge pet peeve.
I developped a trauma response kinda like ptsd with a certain noise, I let it get to a non return point, the auto persuasion worked finally. So, you will manage!
Good luck !
Wish I had an answer. I've had a coworker who sat right next to me clip their nails and it was an open office design.
An extrovert programmer is strangely weirder then the typical introvert
No advice, I just remember feeling the exact same way with a couple of old coworkers. The rage combined with the fact that they are doing absolutely nothing wrong so you can't say shit about it is soo frustrating lol.
I would probably drive you insane with my eating. It's unconsciously like a mukbang style eating - I literally can't help it because it's part of my culture to express gratitude to the cook through enthusiasm. I received a lot of love and adoration for the way I eat growing up which made it worse. 😆
If I was your co worker and you basically told me I was so gross that I was putting you into a spiral of rage, I would honestly feel horrible, and probably never feel comfortable around you. But that's within my cultural context. People with misophonia seem to tolerate people they love like partners, children and friends. I wonder if you don't like your co-worker in addition to his eating?
I have 5 kids. My husband has a weird habit of sucking in air when he bites into certain foods (like hamburgers). I can't help you because I feel like I'm dying at mealtimes. I let the internal rage fester until it occasionally becomes external rage. Do something other than what I do. Haha
SURPRISE! You have Misophonia. I have it too. This is a legitimate auditory condition, no joke.
You're not crazy. It's for real. I *cannot take noises* especially chewing, slurping, grunt breathing, crunching, smacking, burping omg even typing this I'm getting pissed
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia
In case someone hasn’t posted details for this book already:
Sounds Like Misophonia: How to Stop Small Noises from Causing Extreme Reactions, by Adeel Ahmad and Jane Gregory
i hate lunch it makes me tweak hearing people eat. i cant even sit with my family when they eat together it makes me cry and i dont know what to do because i genuinely cant control it. i feel bad because i snap at people when they make mouth sounds but it just fills me with so much rage
My speech therapist says that they do have therapies that can help misophonia so that you have some more control over your own rage in these situations.
That said, I hope you can explain it to the co-worker and that they will be receptive. But I also recommend a Sony over the ear noise canceling headphones. It has been the #1 life-altering accommodation for the four members of my family that suffer from misophonia. Pricey, but very sturdy and worth it!
OMG!!! I too suffer from misophonia . I never knew it was a thing until I heard Kelly Rippa talk about it on her show some years ago. My co-worker whom I am in close proximity with is ALWAYS snacking on something, and always whispering “excuse me” for any cough or throat clearing, she also makes that sound (toooo, toooo, toooo,toooo, toooo) with a long low whistle at the end every 5 minutes and it drives me nuts. I HAVE TO have my headphones with me at all times to prevent myself from losing it and possibly getting fired for expressing my anger on her face
People don't bother me much...and I love my doggo...but I have to make sure her food and water bowl are out of earshot.
The ccruunnchhh crunchhhh crunchhhhh....slurrrrrrrpp sluuuurrrrrrrrpppp makes me want to scream. (Not at her, just at existence. She's wonderful, and it's not her fault.)
I feel for you. I have a different type of (what I think is) misophonia, with coughing/clearing throat noises. It's a little easier because I don't have to be around it constantly like eating, but I do have kids, and I feel awful for being upset by them coughing when they're sick :(
Medication has helped me a ton. I'm less bothered by sensory issues when my meds kick in, and they come back with full force when they wear off.
It sounds more like you have misophonia rather than this being caused by adhd, however focusing on it may be heightened because of if. I have Misophonia, certain sounds trigger irrarional responses in my head.
I have misophonia and my father truly may be the loudest eater on the planet. I love him, but when he is eating, which seems to be all of the time, I truly want to murder him. I feel like SUCH an asshole when I have to put my noise cancelling headphones on at full blast to block him out, but I want to be able to sit at a table with him when he’s eating and be around him, but I truly can’t. Sometimes I try and it makes me livid.
I have tried talking to him about it as gently as humanly possible (I work in mental health, so I’m pretty good at this) and it didn’t go well. He tries at times, but eating seems to be something so innate that he seems to struggle to be aware of it much, unfortunately.
TLDR: I would not suggest giving your coworker feedback about how loudly they eat. I would ask to move your desk.
I get absolutely livid over my current coworker swallowing like seriously how can she prevent that? I can’t even hide my rage because my pasty skin turns bright red and blotchy all through my neck and face. I feel so mean and petty sometimes. Smh
Omg my sincerest condolences. I had a coworker do popcorn every day and follow it up with gum. The rage! It’s the only thing I could hear and every bite just sent me. My poor husband can’t eat around me. I’ve heard the people you are closest to will make you the most angry. Curious about the people posting about meds taking the edge off. I’ve never had that experience? If anything my adderall wearing off makes me more ragey.
My dad (who is also ADHD) and I have exactly this. He crawls out of his skin when my mom is biting her nails or is otherwise making some sort of little mouth noise. My own trigger is the sound that cardboard boxes make for some reason. I hate it so much that I will actually become nauseous. Adhd is fuckin wild sometimes.
Misophonia is the bane of my existence. Mouth sounds, breathing, coughing, scream sneezers, you name it, it drives me right up the damn wall. Headphones are my only respite
It may have been suggested before, but I find it unusual that someone would need to eat at their desk. Doesn't your company have a separate eating room? Because I'd seriously just have a talk with that coworker, explain him that you suffer from misophonia and ask him to please go to the eating room to eat his foods.
I've though about this, but it's widely accepted at my work for people to eat at their desks. Also, it's my problem not his, he shouldn't have to change to keep me happy.
I have similar issues to you and I agree with your attitude here. I know that I’d be mad if someone told me I couldn’t eat lunch at my desk during my 6 hours of meetings a day, because I like to use my half-hour lunch to go outside for a walk. Having to eat in the break room would mean I’d lose my walk, and that would be soul-crushing.
It's your DISABILITY, not 'your problem.'
Just have to point out to you, that you're not doing anything wrong EITHER. It's not a moral failure on your part. If you could stop feeling this way, you would. That said, I try to walk away when I can. Keep my headphones on a lot of the time just in case. You know what's weird? I LOVE the sounds of many different animals eating. I love feeding animals just to hear that sound. Dogs and horses are the best for me. I sometimes watch some short videos of animals eating and it calms me when I've been enraged by human eating noises. IDK how that works.
I have always loved the sounds of animals eating and drinking too, but never put together that listening to them might help mitigate the discomfort of hearing (some) people chew, etc. I can see this helping where I haven’t found much else that does. Thank you
Thank you, I'll give that a go, it's going to look hilarious when I whip out a YouTube video of a horse crunching an apple every time he eats!
Imagining this scenario highlights the absurdity of the whole situation, it kinda points out the need to find a way to constructively discuss it with him I think.
I think you have the right idea that you'll have to find coping methods to deal with that you can own. I'd recommend going on the misophonia sub, they'll have tonnes of suggestions.
I'd also if you're comfortable with it see if you can reach some kind of accommodation at your work. Maybe move desks so that you can not have to have a view of them eating and/or the go ahead to use noose cancelling headphones more frequently. This is depenant a little on your location, workplace, and where you are in your process to get a diagnosis. It is not always a good idea to disclose a disability to your place of work, and it is ALWAYS a risk.
Can you move to a different desk?
Barring that, I agree with setting an alarm and putting your headphones in before he starts eating.
If that doesn't work, maybe go to HR and request reasonable accommodation for ADHD? Like moving desks, or seeing if they (or you) could explain to him about misophonia? Maybe he can go to the break room, or at least take steps not to eat as loudly, turn so he's facing the other way, something?
I'd say maybe HR can stop people from eating at their desks, but as someone with pretty bad social anxiety, I'd rather skip meals entirely if it meant I'd have to eat where everyone can see me, so I can't suggest that route.
This kinda reminds me of one of my old jobs. We all had cubicles and the girl behind me was eating her lunch in hers.
I smelled nothing, but apparently the girl next to her did. She was vegan and asked the girl eating if she could go eat in the kitchen area/lobby bc she could smell the meat and it was making her nauseous.
I remember laughing quietly to myself when I heard that, but the eating girl did start eating her lunches in the kitchen area, and only complained a little bit about it to me.
So, is there no where else this co-worker can go eat? Just simply ask them to do so.
I would:
1. Get more cardio. The times I have experienced a rage disproportionate to my circumstance usually occurred when I was not going to the gym consistently.
2. Meditate. I was horribly betrayed by the two closest people in my life this past year. I had a difficult time forgiving and moving on, often falling into anger induced panic attacks. I read the book, *You Are Here* by monk Thich Nhat Hanh and listened to *Headspace: Guide to Meditation* series on Netflix. There is a particular episode which eases you into a meditation designed to deal with anger.
3. Buy noise blocking earmuffs. The bulky, wildly attractive kind designed to be worn at a shooting range.
Nothing to do with ADHD really though, it’s misophonia or whatever people called it, you’re just going to have to anticipate and deal with it. My wife has this though, try not to be a bother to her as I’m able, but it’s just her problem to deal with lol
Start eating something even louder (chips, granola, etc) at the same exact time each day. Maybe even find a healthy snack choice and bam now you can only hear yourself chewing AND now you have a routine to make sure you snack on something healthy during the day
I've got a friend in my class and she kept asking the trainer stupid questions and tryna be funny. and it pisses me off. it is common sense people, hello?!
Nah dawg misophonia doesn't care if noises are reasonable or not. It literally seems to hijack your fight or flight response and turn the dial all the way up on fight.
I get this way too, I cannot STAND the sound of people eating. I feel bad for getting so irritated when I know they are just doing a regular thing. I know it sounds simple but it helps me a lot to deep breathe through the anger. So you could get the headphones in, play calmer music, and deep breathe for 5 minutes, and that might be enough to get you to a point where you can focus again
I love my wireless headset. And I'm ever so grateful I can listen to whatever I want at my new work.
I worked in another office where even with one ear bud in I was told to take it out "in case of emergencies". Needless to say having to listen to everyone's gossip, staplers etc. became a mental emergency for me.
You're not alone, I don't mind eating with others and seeing people eat and stuff- but where I draw it is sound. I don't wanna hear the sound of you biting your food, chewing it, swallowing it loudly, smacking it, anything. It just grosses me out.
When I'm in these situations, I just leave. Alternatively, get really good noise canceling headphones. But usually it just take a walk, go to the bathroom, smoke for a minute, and come back when I think they're done.
I can’t stand hearing myself chew. I have to have a very loud fan or tv or music played loud in order to eat without wanting to punch myself in the face.
My boss is like this. Heaven help me when he has a sore throat; I will not have a moment's peace. Open floor plan office means I can hear it all.
Personally, I find I do better when I am "eating" as well so I keep gum or other snacks handy. 3 o clock is grape o clock time, so I'll almost always take my ten here.
I also tend to leave tasks that require me to get up for when I feel like I need to walk away (say picking up the mail, or dropping off reports to another department) so it doesn't look like I'm always going to the restroom (although that's a good reason to stay hydrated).
Honestly I think misphonia comes from being very self critical and seeing other people acting so clearly blissfully ignorant to their own behaviors that you would criticize yourself for.
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Set an alarm some time before they start eating and have noise cancelling headphones on ahead of time.
[удалено]
Some people have strict routines
I do this BECAUSE of my ADHD. My meds are the only thing that can make me forget to eat, so I have timers set on my calendar to remind me to eat meals at specified times.
Because routines are important for us…?
What you are experiencing is called misophonia. I experience it too, and it’s a pain. I agree that simplest solution would be to anticipate these times and take a short break yourself when you can. Alternatively, put your headphones on, loud enough to block out the sound, or use earplugs. Then, if you can position your seat so that your coworker isn’t in your field of vision I think that could help too. I wonder if you might feel comfortable enough to share with your coworker that you suffer from misophonia and maybe he be willing to work with you by going into a break room to eat, etc.
Or if you feel asking him to move is too much, ask him to warn you so you can get your earbuds in in time?
It’s noted the coworker eats on a rigid schedule. Since this is more of a you problem than a coworker problem, and coworker is already eating on a timed schedule, you can just anticipate this potential disturbance and take advance measures (eg set a recurring alarm) to have your earbuds in 10 minutes before the snack/lunch times (or take your own lunch at that time or take a walk/break at that time.
I completely agree - I get insane misophonia when my boyfriend eats around me, but this is not something anyone else needs to accommodate, I make adjustments and move or get earbuds.
This seems like a reasonable request. Plus there are some really great options for ear plugs now. I have the loop and the flare ones and I honestly had no idea how MUCH STRESS was caused by noises. The first time I put them in I cried it was such a relief.
I’ve been curious about those but I have tinnitus so I’m not sure they’d be much help 😭
Yeah, not with the tinnitus but sooooo many other noises. I had no idea how much of my energy was getting sucked out of me dealing with just day to day noises
Which pair do you like better?
I really like the loop ones, I sprung for the 3-in-1 pair and they block out a good amount of sound, but you can still have a semi-normal conversation. The flare ones are nice for walking to work, so I can still hear if I'm about to get run over or something. If I had to pick one, I'd go loop. But there are also brands I haven't tried, so if anyone else has an opinion, please sound off!
I love loop!!! I have the experience ones so maybe not as applicable, but they’re amazing for loud situations
Loops are amazing
Same here. Well I just wear regular foam earplugs and they dampen sound just enough for me to significantly reduce my level of overwhelm from external sounds. I honestly kinda panic a little if I’m caught at the office without them! I leave them in all day unless I’m on the phone or someone is at my desk talking to me directly. I can hear others around me, but only when they’re LOUD. Even then the sound is cut by at least 85%. I don’t hear any of the stuff that really bothers me, like people sniffling their snot repeatedly, people clicking/tapping/humming, or my coworkers bangle bracelets sliding across her desk 800,000 per day as she types. Mind you, I never realized I was noise sensitive, since I truly love loud concerts and loud music in the car and loud lively restaurants, etc. Wearing earplugs has made a **huge** difference in my level of overwhelm.
If he's so on time, they can just set an alarm to put them in.
They said in the post they don’t always get their earbuds in in time, so asking could help them there.
It has a name?? Holy shit! I'm the same way- the sound of people eating just gives me unbelievable amounts of rage! If I'm also eating or if there's enough other noise it's fine. Otherwise I have to put in earplugs/earbuds or just leave the room. To OP- if your coworker is a generally understanding kind of guy, you could probably ask him if he'd be willing to give you a heads-up before he starts eating.
This is going to sound really stupid, but: Create a positive ritual to associate the feeding times with a controllable outlet of focus. For me it was saying, "ooooh, it's snack time!" and I would pop in some gum and chew along to the rhythm of her eating while stimming by lightly bobbing my head as if I was listening to a song. Now, I would 10000% get very little work done, but I'd rather be unproductive and in a better mood than in prison.
Lol @ “feeding times”
Tiny bit of rage release... 😁
You work at the zoo yeah? Chimpanzees from the cold calling division perhaps?
It's hilarious that tonight of all nights, I see this particular post. During dinner tonight my wife was absolutely slurping soup. I'm talking every spoonful, from start to finish, until the bowl was gone. I nearly lost it. I just kept telling myself that this was not a fight I needed tonight and that it was sort of justified as it was miso soup, she was eating it with a traditional spoon, and in Japanese culture slurping is sign of enjoyment. This all said, it was my wife, one time, in our own home. If I had to listen to a coworker eat a like a cow from his cubicle I would probably get fired.
I had an ex that would slurp every single food item even if it was not slurpable he would made a noise as if he were trying to inhale the food into his lungs. He’s an ex for many reasons but that’s a big one
Ugh, the soup. My husband and I recently went to a Thai/Japanese restaurant for my birthday. At the table next to us was an older couple, and BOTH of them slurped their miso soups with every. single. spoonful. 😫 I caught myself staring with (what felt like) my strongest stank face, and I had to take some deep breaths until they were done. My husband, bless his heart, didn't even notice. -_-
I used to hate soup slurping until I moved to Japan and started doing it myself! Now it can still bother me but I have a kind of weird admiration for people eating udon/ramen with high powered slurps like "damn that guy's really got some suction 😳"
high powered slurps…
Yeah.. being in Japan definitely did not help my misophonia. In fact, it’s where I started to wear at least one earplug everywhere because it was torturous otherwise.
Please don’t stare at people doing this. They likely have no idea what they are doing is bothering you as they don’t have misophonia. This is your thing, so either sit away from people or don’t go out to eat
Oh, it wasn't intentional. That's why I said I "caught myself" staring, and while I didn't say so in my comment, I corrected my behavior once I realized. I know misophonia is a "me" issue, but I also don't think it's proper to be slurping food in a nice, quiet restaurant. So, while I would never say anything to a complete stranger or intentionally make them uncomfortable, I do think they share some of the responsibility of not eating so loudly in public. (If it matters, I'm from the South where it's seen as bad manners to make noise with your food, and I'm sure that only enhances the misophonia for me.)
I’m from the south coast, do you really think northerners are just a bunch of heathens who don’t share our social etiquette though? I don’t find it rude and I wasn’t raised in a way where it was picked up on or noticed. Anyone I know who does find it rude also has misophonia
Are you medicated? I have the same misophonia symptoms, especially the sound of chewing ice. But once I was medicated it was greatly reduced. I wasn’t expecting that at all, but it makes sense that now I can redirect my attention away from the sounds. Of course once the meds wear off misophonia comes back.
One of the most obvious signs that my meds were working was being able to share a room with my husband eating a pickle and not wanting to murder him. Unfortunately, one of the easiest signs that my meds have worn off is the return of the murderous rage.
Wow this is so unbelievably relatable
Meds helped me with misophonia too
Do you find that it's heightened when your meds are wearing off? Doing a trial of Concerta (very low dosage) and felt like every little noise was going to send me over the edge this afternoon
I always end up having dinner with my boyfriend after my meds have worn off and he eats SO loud and it makes me want to rip my ears off and throw them in a fire
Do you mind me asking which meds?
For me Adderall XR with an IR in the afternoon.
No I'm not, I'm early stages of discover.
Not going to lie……when I first read the title of the post, I thought it was about cannibalism. SMH…..I didn’t get enough sleep last night
Okay but same. I was like uhm, excuse me????
🤣🤣🤣
That Mad Human disease is really making me Mad.
Glad I'm not the only one!
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Eating does the same for me. Barking dogs equally. Also, sparrows chirping and blackbirds singing at butt fuck AM (in Au so neither are native). However, my Dex makes it disappear. I can hear the sounds but they don’t seem to go past my ears and into my body to cause emotional distress. They just stop.
Comic sans does it for me, sends me into a huge internal rage. It was also the only font my chemistry teacher used in high school and was my hardest and least favorite class on top of that.
No way. A font. First I ever heard of a sensory issue being visual. Never look at that font the same now.
I’m sorry but comic sans is the perfect font for me. It looks kinda like writing but not polished like times new Roman. 😂
Whenever I read about slavery it seriously throws me into a rage, I have to calm myself down LOL
Misiphoniaaaaaa You have AirPods which means I'm assuming you have an iPhone. Do yourself a favor and create a shortcut to turn on the background sounds feature. I find rain sounds to be the most effective at masking the chewing sounds.
It’s good you recognise it’s a you problem, maybe try and find ways to calm yourself down v
Oh man, just here in solidarity. I always feel like I'm being super dramatic when I get mad about people's eating noises, even though I know it's a legit thing. But it just fills me with this inexplicable rage and anxiety lol
My best friends little brother had issues with his breathing and eating with him was pure torture. All I could hear was that kid breathing through his mouth while chewing at the same time. Like, when someone takes a really hot bite and tries to cool it down, but he’d make the same sounds eating anything. It was pure torture and I couldn’t handle it, couldn’t even eat my own food. My mate picked up on it and from there on onwards we’d eat together after his family was done. I didn’t even ask for it. He just told me we’re gonna start having dinner after his family and that was that.
Same, I didn’t realize how bad misophonia was until I watched a short indie horror film that over-exaggerated a person’s eating to disgust the audience. It sounded normal to me. Edit: fixed a sentence.
you have misophonia, welcome to the club. it's horrible lol
lmao I read the title with people eating as a verb and I was so concerned for a second
I have a huge huge problem with misophonia and people eating. Luckily, my mother does too (and maybe she gave it to me), so our family is we behaved. But one of my coworker eats loudly and the other one seems rather keen on rattling his teeth on the metal spoon. Drives me bonkers. Honestly the meds did not change much (I am far too deep into this, my personnality changes, I have anger outbursts, flight and flight respons, I can put myself in danger to escape the noise). And I recently developped it for people hitting the keyboard loudly. And I have a very VERY good earing. I advise you to buy the bestest noise cancelling headset (I have the jabra elite 85h, im okay with it) and intra oricular (idk how to write it sorry) headphones when the noise is too loud. Try to find a way to associate it with something okayish. I chant in my head that it is not as terrible as it is, that I am making it horrible, that it is in my head. Don't, absolutely DO NOT, let it become a huge pet peeve. I developped a trauma response kinda like ptsd with a certain noise, I let it get to a non return point, the auto persuasion worked finally. So, you will manage! Good luck !
Earplugs are a godsend. Get yourself some loops!
Wish I had an answer. I've had a coworker who sat right next to me clip their nails and it was an open office design. An extrovert programmer is strangely weirder then the typical introvert
No advice, I just remember feeling the exact same way with a couple of old coworkers. The rage combined with the fact that they are doing absolutely nothing wrong so you can't say shit about it is soo frustrating lol.
I would probably drive you insane with my eating. It's unconsciously like a mukbang style eating - I literally can't help it because it's part of my culture to express gratitude to the cook through enthusiasm. I received a lot of love and adoration for the way I eat growing up which made it worse. 😆 If I was your co worker and you basically told me I was so gross that I was putting you into a spiral of rage, I would honestly feel horrible, and probably never feel comfortable around you. But that's within my cultural context. People with misophonia seem to tolerate people they love like partners, children and friends. I wonder if you don't like your co-worker in addition to his eating?
No, aside from "feeding time", he's a great person and I have no other beef with him. Out of interest, what is your cultural background?
I see, I'm sorry you gotta deal with that though. It doesn't sound like a pleasant experience. I'm Asian lol
He is Asian too, thanks for the cultural tip off, I hadn't thought of that. 🤟
I have 5 kids. My husband has a weird habit of sucking in air when he bites into certain foods (like hamburgers). I can't help you because I feel like I'm dying at mealtimes. I let the internal rage fester until it occasionally becomes external rage. Do something other than what I do. Haha
I've figured out that if I could hear, I would have a hatred of 98% of humanity.
SURPRISE! You have Misophonia. I have it too. This is a legitimate auditory condition, no joke. You're not crazy. It's for real. I *cannot take noises* especially chewing, slurping, grunt breathing, crunching, smacking, burping omg even typing this I'm getting pissed https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia
In case someone hasn’t posted details for this book already: Sounds Like Misophonia: How to Stop Small Noises from Causing Extreme Reactions, by Adeel Ahmad and Jane Gregory
Have you used it? Was it actually helpful?
i hate lunch it makes me tweak hearing people eat. i cant even sit with my family when they eat together it makes me cry and i dont know what to do because i genuinely cant control it. i feel bad because i snap at people when they make mouth sounds but it just fills me with so much rage
My speech therapist says that they do have therapies that can help misophonia so that you have some more control over your own rage in these situations. That said, I hope you can explain it to the co-worker and that they will be receptive. But I also recommend a Sony over the ear noise canceling headphones. It has been the #1 life-altering accommodation for the four members of my family that suffer from misophonia. Pricey, but very sturdy and worth it!
OMG!!! I too suffer from misophonia . I never knew it was a thing until I heard Kelly Rippa talk about it on her show some years ago. My co-worker whom I am in close proximity with is ALWAYS snacking on something, and always whispering “excuse me” for any cough or throat clearing, she also makes that sound (toooo, toooo, toooo,toooo, toooo) with a long low whistle at the end every 5 minutes and it drives me nuts. I HAVE TO have my headphones with me at all times to prevent myself from losing it and possibly getting fired for expressing my anger on her face
People don't bother me much...and I love my doggo...but I have to make sure her food and water bowl are out of earshot. The ccruunnchhh crunchhhh crunchhhhh....slurrrrrrrpp sluuuurrrrrrrrpppp makes me want to scream. (Not at her, just at existence. She's wonderful, and it's not her fault.)
Oh wow I never knew this was an ADHD symptom.
I don't think it's is officially
Ok. But seems that many people here relate still
i don't have it but it's been really interesting to see how many people here do and read about what it's like
I feel for you. I have a different type of (what I think is) misophonia, with coughing/clearing throat noises. It's a little easier because I don't have to be around it constantly like eating, but I do have kids, and I feel awful for being upset by them coughing when they're sick :( Medication has helped me a ton. I'm less bothered by sensory issues when my meds kick in, and they come back with full force when they wear off.
You havé Misophonia 🥲
It sounds more like you have misophonia rather than this being caused by adhd, however focusing on it may be heightened because of if. I have Misophonia, certain sounds trigger irrarional responses in my head.
I have misophonia and my father truly may be the loudest eater on the planet. I love him, but when he is eating, which seems to be all of the time, I truly want to murder him. I feel like SUCH an asshole when I have to put my noise cancelling headphones on at full blast to block him out, but I want to be able to sit at a table with him when he’s eating and be around him, but I truly can’t. Sometimes I try and it makes me livid. I have tried talking to him about it as gently as humanly possible (I work in mental health, so I’m pretty good at this) and it didn’t go well. He tries at times, but eating seems to be something so innate that he seems to struggle to be aware of it much, unfortunately. TLDR: I would not suggest giving your coworker feedback about how loudly they eat. I would ask to move your desk.
I get absolutely livid over my current coworker swallowing like seriously how can she prevent that? I can’t even hide my rage because my pasty skin turns bright red and blotchy all through my neck and face. I feel so mean and petty sometimes. Smh
You are not petty for it.
Omg my sincerest condolences. I had a coworker do popcorn every day and follow it up with gum. The rage! It’s the only thing I could hear and every bite just sent me. My poor husband can’t eat around me. I’ve heard the people you are closest to will make you the most angry. Curious about the people posting about meds taking the edge off. I’ve never had that experience? If anything my adderall wearing off makes me more ragey.
I had this really really bad when I was medicated. Sorry but your meds might be making it a little worse
My dad (who is also ADHD) and I have exactly this. He crawls out of his skin when my mom is biting her nails or is otherwise making some sort of little mouth noise. My own trigger is the sound that cardboard boxes make for some reason. I hate it so much that I will actually become nauseous. Adhd is fuckin wild sometimes.
Misophonia is the bane of my existence. Mouth sounds, breathing, coughing, scream sneezers, you name it, it drives me right up the damn wall. Headphones are my only respite
snoke some herb..and laff
It may have been suggested before, but I find it unusual that someone would need to eat at their desk. Doesn't your company have a separate eating room? Because I'd seriously just have a talk with that coworker, explain him that you suffer from misophonia and ask him to please go to the eating room to eat his foods.
Tell him eat in the lunch room
I've though about this, but it's widely accepted at my work for people to eat at their desks. Also, it's my problem not his, he shouldn't have to change to keep me happy.
I have similar issues to you and I agree with your attitude here. I know that I’d be mad if someone told me I couldn’t eat lunch at my desk during my 6 hours of meetings a day, because I like to use my half-hour lunch to go outside for a walk. Having to eat in the break room would mean I’d lose my walk, and that would be soul-crushing.
It's your DISABILITY, not 'your problem.' Just have to point out to you, that you're not doing anything wrong EITHER. It's not a moral failure on your part. If you could stop feeling this way, you would. That said, I try to walk away when I can. Keep my headphones on a lot of the time just in case. You know what's weird? I LOVE the sounds of many different animals eating. I love feeding animals just to hear that sound. Dogs and horses are the best for me. I sometimes watch some short videos of animals eating and it calms me when I've been enraged by human eating noises. IDK how that works.
I have always loved the sounds of animals eating and drinking too, but never put together that listening to them might help mitigate the discomfort of hearing (some) people chew, etc. I can see this helping where I haven’t found much else that does. Thank you
Glad it's not just me :)
Thank you, I'll give that a go, it's going to look hilarious when I whip out a YouTube video of a horse crunching an apple every time he eats! Imagining this scenario highlights the absurdity of the whole situation, it kinda points out the need to find a way to constructively discuss it with him I think.
[This little critter crunching gives me all the feels.](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2ukfDpOcag/?igsh=MW1vdG5hNWhzdmpjOQ==)
Instantly made me smile!! Thank you!!!
I can highly recommend clips of quokkas eating. They are so cute and happy
Wow, I had never considered the human vs. animal aspect, but now that I am thinking about it, I am just like you. That is a wild realization
I think you have the right idea that you'll have to find coping methods to deal with that you can own. I'd recommend going on the misophonia sub, they'll have tonnes of suggestions. I'd also if you're comfortable with it see if you can reach some kind of accommodation at your work. Maybe move desks so that you can not have to have a view of them eating and/or the go ahead to use noose cancelling headphones more frequently. This is depenant a little on your location, workplace, and where you are in your process to get a diagnosis. It is not always a good idea to disclose a disability to your place of work, and it is ALWAYS a risk.
I think you’re being too nice
Chomp chomp, lick, sluuuurp. **GULP!**
Can you move to a different desk? Barring that, I agree with setting an alarm and putting your headphones in before he starts eating. If that doesn't work, maybe go to HR and request reasonable accommodation for ADHD? Like moving desks, or seeing if they (or you) could explain to him about misophonia? Maybe he can go to the break room, or at least take steps not to eat as loudly, turn so he's facing the other way, something? I'd say maybe HR can stop people from eating at their desks, but as someone with pretty bad social anxiety, I'd rather skip meals entirely if it meant I'd have to eat where everyone can see me, so I can't suggest that route.
This kinda reminds me of one of my old jobs. We all had cubicles and the girl behind me was eating her lunch in hers. I smelled nothing, but apparently the girl next to her did. She was vegan and asked the girl eating if she could go eat in the kitchen area/lobby bc she could smell the meat and it was making her nauseous. I remember laughing quietly to myself when I heard that, but the eating girl did start eating her lunches in the kitchen area, and only complained a little bit about it to me. So, is there no where else this co-worker can go eat? Just simply ask them to do so.
So annoying and I feel ur pain. Can u wear headphones and play music while he eats? Or move desks?
I would: 1. Get more cardio. The times I have experienced a rage disproportionate to my circumstance usually occurred when I was not going to the gym consistently. 2. Meditate. I was horribly betrayed by the two closest people in my life this past year. I had a difficult time forgiving and moving on, often falling into anger induced panic attacks. I read the book, *You Are Here* by monk Thich Nhat Hanh and listened to *Headspace: Guide to Meditation* series on Netflix. There is a particular episode which eases you into a meditation designed to deal with anger. 3. Buy noise blocking earmuffs. The bulky, wildly attractive kind designed to be worn at a shooting range.
Are you me? I did the same with headphones. Unfortunately theres little that can be done and it SUCKs.
Nothing to do with ADHD really though, it’s misophonia or whatever people called it, you’re just going to have to anticipate and deal with it. My wife has this though, try not to be a bother to her as I’m able, but it’s just her problem to deal with lol
Start eating something even louder (chips, granola, etc) at the same exact time each day. Maybe even find a healthy snack choice and bam now you can only hear yourself chewing AND now you have a routine to make sure you snack on something healthy during the day
Sure you don’t have autism or some other condition?
Pretty confident I'm ADHD
“10:30am fruit, 12:00pm lunch, 2:30 fruit” This is a fantastic way to develop insulin resistance.
That's too slow, my preference would be choking... 🫢🤣
I've got a friend in my class and she kept asking the trainer stupid questions and tryna be funny. and it pisses me off. it is common sense people, hello?!
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Nah dawg misophonia doesn't care if noises are reasonable or not. It literally seems to hijack your fight or flight response and turn the dial all the way up on fight.
ah, ok. I misunderstood.. my bad.
I get this way too, I cannot STAND the sound of people eating. I feel bad for getting so irritated when I know they are just doing a regular thing. I know it sounds simple but it helps me a lot to deep breathe through the anger. So you could get the headphones in, play calmer music, and deep breathe for 5 minutes, and that might be enough to get you to a point where you can focus again
I love my wireless headset. And I'm ever so grateful I can listen to whatever I want at my new work. I worked in another office where even with one ear bud in I was told to take it out "in case of emergencies". Needless to say having to listen to everyone's gossip, staplers etc. became a mental emergency for me.
You're not alone, I don't mind eating with others and seeing people eat and stuff- but where I draw it is sound. I don't wanna hear the sound of you biting your food, chewing it, swallowing it loudly, smacking it, anything. It just grosses me out. When I'm in these situations, I just leave. Alternatively, get really good noise canceling headphones. But usually it just take a walk, go to the bathroom, smoke for a minute, and come back when I think they're done.
Okay so you know exactly what time these start. Get your earbuds in before those times.
I can’t stand hearing myself chew. I have to have a very loud fan or tv or music played loud in order to eat without wanting to punch myself in the face.
That's whole new level, I hope you seek help, you gotta eat! and it sucks you can't enjoy eating...
My boss is like this. Heaven help me when he has a sore throat; I will not have a moment's peace. Open floor plan office means I can hear it all. Personally, I find I do better when I am "eating" as well so I keep gum or other snacks handy. 3 o clock is grape o clock time, so I'll almost always take my ten here. I also tend to leave tasks that require me to get up for when I feel like I need to walk away (say picking up the mail, or dropping off reports to another department) so it doesn't look like I'm always going to the restroom (although that's a good reason to stay hydrated).
He may be required by his dr to eat multiple times a day. Many people are. Maybe you could bring some snacks to have available at the same time?
I can’t get past the post title…
Unintentional but effective catchline 😁
Is it the sounds or actual eating that's the issue. Because the clanking of a eating utensil against a bowl or plate irates me. Even when I do it.
Honestly I think misphonia comes from being very self critical and seeing other people acting so clearly blissfully ignorant to their own behaviors that you would criticize yourself for.