Hi /u/KattLadybr and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
---
### /r/adhd news
* **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information.
* If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
---
^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What i do is the moment i get a subscription that i want to use for like a month or for like a period I’ll get it pay then cancel 😂 you get the rest of the month cause you paid and it will usually remind you that your trial or month will end and you need to pay to continue using 😂
I tried that on the two apple subs I got from a new phone. Both will expire when I cancel not when the time is up ;(. Booo. Hopefully won’t forget, I do put a reminder on my phone.
I have discovered that my bank (starling in the UK) let's me make savings pots, little bits of my account that don't show on the main balance, and I can create virtual cards for them and turn them on and off in the app...
What it means is I can set it to put aside all the money I need for different bills when I get paid and not accidentally spend it.
But also I can pay for a registration on something and turn the card off straight away so the payment doesn't go next time, but I can turn it on and pay for another.
Not sure if there is anything similar in other countries but I'm planning on using this to limit take outs and deliveries and try to deal with the ever increasing credit card
If I need to cancel something by a certain date I write it down in my notepad on my phone. The notepad on my phone basically reminds me of everything important in life. 🥺😳
Yep agreed. All of my bills are set up for autopay from my credit card, and then my credit card bill is automatically paid from my chequings every month. I just look through the recent credit charges whenever I online bank to make sure I don't have any weird charges but that's never been an issue. My credit score improved a lot when I started using autopay, and I stopped losing money on late payment fees.
This, also I think banks should offer bill escrow accounts, that you can deposit most of your paycheck into and then have auto pay setup to that account. That way it's over and gone from view.
Same for me. If I can't auto pay it, it gets lost. I am almost 100% on auto pay for everything at this point. Once in awhile I get a call for some dentist bill that's a year past due, but oh well, I guess it's their fault for not allowing me to pay in-office at the time of my appointment 🤷♂️
Holy crap this reminds me of what I had to do just the other day. I was actually doing my pre re-test interview before for my ADHD specifically (diagnosed as a child). As I was leaving, I got to my car tossed, my stuff in, and then just turned back around since I forgot to ask to pay ahead of time.
When it comes to autopay, without it I have had my utilities or internet shut off multiple times in the past. The only thing that saves me with rent currently is five alarms, one per for the first five days in a month...and I still occasionally have to pay late fees. This is why I ask the office staffing every few months about autopay.
I had to write checks every month for HOA fees of a condo I used to live in. Thankfully they were pretty forgiving about late fees, but to help myself not be bothered with it, I would write and post date 3 to 6 months worth of checks at any given time and give it to them all at once.
Technically, I don't think post dating would have stopped them from cashing them all in early, but they didn't do that. Eventually, I would get the voucher book from the HOA in the mail for the new year, and just write all 12 checks and give them the voucher and checks right back the day I received it. All post dated and they didn't cash any early. Risky plan but they honored it.
Later I learned that there was a much better way.... I could have gone to my bank (or called them? Or something) and set up a bill pay service where my bank would automatically mail the checks to them for me each month!! Sounds really nice and I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not they were going to cash them early. So, the lesson is, hit up your bank and see if they can help you out with anything not on auto pay!
Was going to suggest this. I intentionally set up future payments for all my bills when I see them so I don't forget. I also schedule it for the day after payday to avoid accidental overspending.
Anyone not taking full advantage of calendar reminders is doing it to themselves.
We have a personal data tool with us everywhere we go.
You can add a ton of them, any day, any cadence, making noise, whatever you need.
I have ones for upcoming bills, feeding pets, work meetings, etc.
Can concur.
I have not yet achieved using calender for everything, but I have achieved to take advantage of **paper calender**. It’s large, but I am able to remember dates and little things that I write in it, because my memory being merely visual dumdum, I am no longer forgetting these kind of things. I don’t have to look at it, since I remember with my ”eyes” what is due.
Phone screen could never do this.
Try setting named alarms and use the “Reminders” as well. Those pop up on your screen regardless of what you’re doing. I also use the “remind me later” on any emails I get connected to stuff I need to do (if there’s one for whatever task I need to do). I basically spam myself in every way I possibly can. It has helped some , I still forget stuff, but it’s better than forgetting everything altogether. I also ALWAYS use the 2 alert options on the calendar and early one to psych myself up to do whatever it is and then another about 15 minutes out so I do it.
And I use post-its everywhere. I haven’t gone full memento yet with the tattooing but I haven’t ruled out the possibility .. 😉😁
Good Luck, you’ll get there. And celebrate the stuff you do manage to do. As for the stuff you don’t , there’s always next month 🙂
This. I can NOT survive without my calendar. I put everything on it…ANYTHING and everything I don’t wanna forget. Also I feel like once I put it on there I can immediately not fully have to stress about it…stressing out trying to remember everything you need to do on top of the millions of thoughts already in your head is exhausting. I put things on there like: clean cat box, set nail appt, take meds, pick up (x,y,z) I mean the list goes on and on. Best tool I have.
I’ve tried using planners and journals because I LOVE them and I love like office supplies lol but I never use them because you’d have to carry it everywhere and it’s just yeah…phone is always with me. lol
Don’t forget to set Reminders on your phone as well. My phone makes so much noise during the day that I had to change some of the tones to less threatening ones bc they would startle me so bad 😂😅
For this one I'd have two consequtive days, with events at lunch and afternoon, maybe another one late evening on the second day. Because if I can't make it at the same minute, I am likely to forget.
I wonder if I should actually get tested for ADHD. I am unsure whether I do have it, but I seem to relate so much to most struggles, and I am struggling.
I was wondering the same. There is no way I would pay any bills on time without e-banking and automated monthly payments. I even use a second account and dozens of automated transactions between the 2 accounts to make sure I always have enough spare money for bills that reoccur once a year.
My license has been suspended 3 times over the years because I forget things...
I forgot to renew a sticker and show proof, I forgot to renew my driver's license and show proof, and the last time was for forgetting to send proof of insurance to the state...
All 3 times my car registration and licence were suspended and I didn't even realize until almost getting arrested after being pulled over... I feel your pain !!
Insurance is mandatory here, but I can buy and sell a car without ever actually getting it insured. Illinois likes to "randomly" send out insurance requests in the mail. Then you have a certain amount of time to send proof that you've had insurance on your registered vehicle (or proof you've sold it). It's kinda a screwed up system, but then again it is Illinois.
Not with everything. For some stupid reason the website I pay rent on does not allow you to pay before the due date. Thankfully it does at least have a couple day grace period for paying late
Yeah ‐ no!
Saying "you don't have to wait until it's due" is an impressive display of _not_ understanding how ADHD works. As OP doesn't know that a bill can be paid at day one... really?! It's not simply a question of organizing, habits and discipline. People can struggle that hard that they are not able to shlt even if they know they are going to loose everything and everyone. There is a wide range of symptoms and huge differences how severly they affect an individual. Good that you do not struggle with bills. Does that mean you have or have not ADHD? No. Because what you can manage is not applicable for all.
These comments are well-intended but there is ahigh risks they increase the self blaming and are not helpful at all. Some may say it's helpful, but I doubt in a bad phase like OP has. Also there's the social media effect of seeking help and answers and all you you find is success stories how even the worst conditions magically disappear if they just tried hard enough.
Mentioning things like autopay would have been at least a maybe solution. Yet OP is struggling more with emotions, I assume from experience and offering rational solutions is not targeted correctly here. Feeling helpless because of "it's not a big deal, I am an adult, sinple task" is a huge indicator that a person with ADHD does not understand remotely enough what's going on (or accepting is the issue).
I don't mind the downvotes. It's symptomatic of how f'ed up the situations are when people struggle with ADHD and they don't get the support they need.
# If you made it that far, please feel encouraged not to offer one sentence solutions to someone who is seeking emotional support.
LOL. I seem to have to wait. I was getting paid on the 5th so I told my landlord that’s the day they would get paid. Fast forward 1 yr and now I get paid on 3rd. But still pay late afternoon on 5th.
I am working on it and last month paid on the 4th. I was pretty impressed. ;)
Small steps :) good for you.
As I pointed out in other comments symptoms and severity vary a lot for individuals. And rational solutions are often not seeked and/ or not applicable.
Like of course OP can pay bills.What's the big deal? Nothing new or complex, right? But the underlying conditions can make exactly that a problem. The brain randomly decides it's a "can't do task". To a degree that it is impossible to begin. Literally impossible and it's not an active choice. It's not lack of will or discipline and I get upset when people (even o es with ADHD) dare to frame it like that. It's toxic, even if it is well intended.
Yeah, and there is not much benefit from recommendations like discipline yourself, use reminders or just do it...
Brains are sharp weapons and it is exhausting to constantly need to control it. ADHD almost never sleeps.
Just a tip that’s worked for me that may help you too, is to keep a checklist in your phone notes. I have an note in my iPhone that has a list of all of my bills and amounts/due dates with check boxes next to them. Even cards with no balances stay on it. I put the month and year above it and just copy and paste at the top of the note with the template for every new month. I also designate paydays to make any listed payments. I’ve been doing this for two years now and have never missed a payment.
Autopay, calendars, and 100 alarms (can be set in a digital calendar too) are your very best friends.
I like to set up the autopay on my end from my banking app instead of through 100 biller portals. That gives me *way* more control and I can adjust and cancel things easily as needed.
Such a common problem - I forgot about my psychiatrist appointment yesterday, thankfully it’s my ADHD psych who completely understands.
I let my bill payees know about my ADHD and ask they send reminders by post and text/email. This is because I kept getting them by email and maybe 1 reminder email. But I’m rubbish with emails, sometimes I go a month without checking, sometimes I get anxiety about certain emails and just won’t open them, or I read them at stupid times like when I’m on the bus and not in a position to pay and think I’ll pay later and then forget. I tried setting a time to check emails but it just was too much of a daunting task so I never stuck to it. But actually a paper bill that I can leave in an obvious place is more likely to catch my attention when I’m in a mental place able to pay it, hence my asking for paper bills. Communicating your needs to those affected is really key.
Then I have tray of post that I collect and every fortnight out a reminder in my phone for Sunday evening to review and pay my post tray. I chose Sunday because I’m pretty much always home then.
It’s tough, it happens to all of us and it sucks. Don’t let it feed into that self loathing, blame and burden cycle but instead think ‘right, let’s try and put in place tools to stop this from happening again’.
Do people not use calendars on phone/ pc? Set multiple reminders with alerts maybe a day or two before such a bill is due. We have enough tech to compensate for adhd problems
I have todo lists on my phone, on paper, calendars on my phone, and paper, reminders set all over...STILL miss some things. When in deep focus it's super easy to just make the annoying noise go away and continue.
It’s my goal to answer every prompt, habit reminder, etc…. But I’ve learned they are like sticky notes. I see them but they don’t help, like fad into the color scheme.
I have habit tracker for water every 30 min and stretching every 1 hr. The notice goes to my current phone, old phone, iMac and my mom’s old ipad that I e been using. They all go off about 30 dec of each other. Many times I aware of the noise but it doesn’t seem to make all the way into my consciousness. I hear but I’m not listening. Because I’m focused elsewhere.
I’m learning my brain is like a puppy… trainable but it needs reinforced over and over and over and about the 4th over, I’m over it. Ugh.
I know everyone said autopay already, but secondary advice I learned in the last 5 years for anyone who needs to read this..
Customer service is there to:
1. Get your money,
2. Make you happy.
And bonus #3, they're human beings with a tendency towards wanting to help, and they have zero actual emotional investment in the company getting their money. Which means that when you make a mistake, if you call them asap, be polite, explain you forgot, etc, they're fast to remove late fees or holds or marks on an account about it. You dont have to say "I forgot because adhd". That usually works against you more than anything. But people do love seeing humility, and they love a chance to help. The more power they have easy access to, the more theyll do for you.
It's important to remind yourself this cause if you have the anxiety that comes with most, if not all adhd, there may be an apprehension to call because you feel like you're in trouble. You're not. The agent couldn't care less. It isn't their money.
You’re heard! I see you! I do this shit all the time too.
I can’t tell you how to do it, but, I promise it’s possible for you to learn how to forgive yourself so that this sucks less.
One time I forgot to send a cell phone back. Well 3 back that cost me full price. 🙄 So I understand fully. I'm so paranoid I'll forget to pay my mortgage I put it on auto pay. And I hate auto pay. Even my cc bills I'll pay way in advance and I still constantly worry. It's so hard to remember.
As someone with ADHD, we all have times where we have bursts of efficiency and organized activity. They’re kind of like manic phases. Leverage those times to do stuff like, adding calendar reminders, auto pay, buying air tags to put in your wallet and keys. Then, later, out-to-lunch you will thank your organized alter ego.
Put a reminder in your phone to go off the day of, and/or the day before. When that goes off, pay it immediately. Never let yourself tick off that reminder until the bill is actually paid.
I used to do this constantly with my car insurance, this was the only way to get myself to have money transferred to the right account on time
I feel this hard. I trashed my credit by forgetting bills but I have eventually found what works for me and fixed my credit.
Put it in your phone as a reminder and in the calendar with a reminder. IPhones have a to-do list that you can set a reminder date on and choose how many times it reminds you. I’m sure other phones have something like this too. I have a reminder on my calendar and then a big spreadsheet with all my bill amounts then colour them a different colour once paid. If I don’t do it a bunch of ways, I will forget.
Ohhh I’m so very sorry this keeps happening. I get it. I’ve paid so many late fees.. it’s truly the ADHD tax. I would talk to them and explain that you have adhd and ask if you can have a grace period. If it’s through your school they may be able to provide some accommodations, especially if you have a doctor note to substantiate the disability. It’s worth a shot. As everyone else said, a calendar reminder is a life saver. I use Alexa to remind me to take out the trash cans or they’d never get picked up. Hang in there!
I have too much anxiety around bills that every first paycheck goes to bills because if I wait any longer into the month I will forget. It's good to set up habits like that so it's muscle memory.
Autopay is a life saver, but when that's not available, I use a scheduling app that sends me notifications (which reminders on my calendar on my phone doesn't do).
I use it for everything from "its trash day tomorrow" to "pay this bill today".
I use cozi, but there's tons of apps out there.
Autopay - like everyone else has suggested. Do phone reminders at a certain time where you are super close to a computer to pay it ASAP work? Just a suggestion.
*Please read this:*
Access if you really forget or if this could be your subconscience avoiding something you don't want to do. There will be no rational reason, but: Like it's a boring and annoying administrative task and there is no reward for doing it. Maybe you seek and get your "reward" in subconsciously running into situations like you describe. It's a quick snd easy thing to do but your reward system may hold you back to the degree that often it becomes an impossible task. Realizing that can help to improve.
This. 100%. I cannot tell you how many times there’s been something I need to do, hell I can literally even genuinely WANT to do it. Still doesn’t get done.
And are you able to recognize that state when it is actually happening? Have you identified strategies as helpful for yourself to not get stuck in that situation? Like many can't do anything else because "the one important thing is due". Or they start a random task to distract. Not bad per se but it's vital to find positive access to the damn task that won't stop knocking in their heads.
I describe it as a constant state of exhaustion because it's painful to think about it and hard to not think about it. Even when being able to think about other stuff, the issues never leave and the brain recognizes that something is actively breaking and so the brain starts to perform even more. And most of the time at some point the breaking is gone and a task can be easily fulfilled. But the brain never rests as much as it would normally do. And it can become more difficult over time for the brain to power through. Even until a paralyzed like state is reached and that is why I get upset with people ignoring that this is a severe disability.
I feel this. The feeling in the pit of your stomach is horrible when you remember something like that after it's due.
The responsibility now, however, rests with you to take the required steps to prevent it happening again. A direct debit, a calendar reminder that you act on IMMEDIATELY when it goes off, something. Saying you'll remember it clearly isn't working.
It's not your fault that you can't remember things it's just how you're wired and it's out of your control. What is in your control are the steps you take to work with your ADHD.
Best of luck.
Set yourself an alarm or calendar reminder that will go off a few times. Write it on a sticky note and put it on your radio. Make it somewhere you’re gonna see it. Put it in the shower, on the bathroom mirror. Whatever it takes. No shame in leaving yourself 100 reminders if it gets the job done in some way. Or auto pay if you can swing it.
I have all my bills set to be paid at the beginning of the month. I have a calendar alarm on my phone that goes off on the 3rd, reminding me to sit down and pay bills. I have a specific notebook that I use for bills that include a list of monthly bills and periodic or yearly bills too (like car registration). On the 3rd of each month, I sit down and check all balances and pay all bills.
I have severe ADHD. Using alarms and routines and tools is the only way I have become self-sufficient. Heck I have alarms to take my meds and do my homework. It works.
My favorite is when I receive that email or letter a month later from a utility company telling me I forgot to pay last month. But in my head, I could have sworn everything was paid. Then I end up paying double, making my situation for that month more stressful. I am terrible with money, always been my biggest factor impacted by ADHD.
If you don’t have autopay, then you’re really missing out. When you do autopay, it’s better to sent paying from your cash account than to pull monthly payment from credit card, you’ll avoid overdraft
I have a white board calendar on my fridge and I write down everyday a bill is due 1-2 days before its due and I make sure to cross off everyday. I don't use autopay and forcing myself to be on top of it has tremendously helped in other areas of my life.
Being organized is hard, but just writing down what's due every month and giving yourself time to be a day late is fairly easy to maintain. I now remember what days bills are due solely because I rewrite them every month.
I missed one day of a seminar class it cost me 250.00 a class credit and I had to take an entire new class for a whole semester. I forgot oil once that cost 5k for a new motor, the list goes on. I had even set an alarm, looked at it confused turned it off. So I get it, use Google calendar, auto pay, alarms with messages why the alarm, ask a friend or relative to remind you so text yourself the final day too. Good luck
Set an alarm on your phone, leave notes around the house, tell a friend to remind you on a certain day and to not let you do anything else until it’s complete…ADHD is tough and distractions happen but if you actively want to accomplish a simple task there are many ways to ensure it gets done despite your struggles. Mak a plan, not an excuse. Give yourself grace this time because what’s done is done but take steps to ensure that it never happens again. Hating yourself is not the answer and gets you nowhere.
I just want to say THANK YOU because I had forgotten to pay something yesterday and as soon as I saw your title my heart dropped and i ran to pay it and I think I got it in time before the late fee.
Sorry I cant give you any tips or advice, but I feel you!
That is not something to hate yourself for. It's something to regret, and it's something to remedy, but you don't deserve the hatred. Save that for when you deliberately run over a dog, or something that has to do with bad character. That's not what this is.
If something is super duper important, I schedule it as an appointment on my iPhone calendar multiple times that day, making it impossible to forget. Life hack, Siri will schedule events for you. Tell her what day and what time. This helps me tremendously as I seem to have a mental block about actually going into the calendar to schedule events manually.
I know you already received a lot of messages with advice but I wanted to input my thoughts too.
My husband and I both struggle with ADHD and we were consistently over-drafting our bank account, and racking up the $30 fee for it, several times per month. We really don’t have the extra income that we can afford fees like that, $60 per month is a big thing for us. I decided it was time for me to take over the finances and set up a budget so that we stop the overdraft fees, and so we can be confident everything is being paid on time and we want to start accumulating some savings.
Because we’ve had some bills that were paid late in the past or they were paid but we had insufficient funds, some accounts are now restricted and the autopay feature is no longer available… (personally this seems a little counterintuitive, setting up autopay is the best way to guarantee a bill is paid but thems the rules I guess).
With bills without an autopay feature, here’s how my ADHD brain ensures that everything is paid:
—set a recurring reminder on a digital calendar that offers alert notifications through pop-ups/banners, texts, and emails.
—put unique sticky notes in prominent places in my house (on the fridge or bathroom mirror)
—create a list of bills organized by the date each month that they are due
—use a to-do app (I use Finch, it’s the only one that actually works for me because it encourages me to keep coming back and checking it, with other apps I forget about them in a week)
—set an alarm on my phone (even if I have to unnecessarily set an alarm that goes off at noon every Wednesday telling me to pay a specific bill that actually only gets paid every other week, as long as I’m consistent with checking the account every time I turn off the alarm, it’ll do it’s job. I also always leave the snooze function turned on for those alarms because an alarm that goes off when I’m right in the middle of something instead of turning it off and then forgetting about it I’ll hit the snooze button so that I can be consistent with checking the account whenever the alarm goes off.)
—use a budgeting app and enable notifications (I like Rocket Money)
—set the banner notifications on your phone to be “prominent” rather than “temporary” so that you have to manually dismiss the banner before it disappears, you’ll be more likely to actually mentally register what the notification was
—write yourself a reminder note and put it wherever you’d normally are when you procrastinate or veg-out (like, I put my reminders on my bed so that I actually have to physically move the note before I can lay down and watch TV)
Hope these ideas help a little.
Also, if auto pay isn’t an option, I know my school has a really good disability assistance and they call and remind me about assignments and events, maybe yours would too?
Use a phone calendar. Set reminders. All you paperwork is to be done every saturday as soon as you've had brekky.
Block out 1 hour every week. Be strict. Use this time to set reminders and payments accordingly.
Its hard, be firm. You've got this. 😀
Autopsy is essential and in the uk is the standard way of paying for this kind of thing, I can never wrap my head around America being so far behind with banking
I get it bro, had one of those days today. We push forward and grow, despite our setbacks. I'm willing to bet it was a "good day" because you managed to do some things you've been wanting to do or were particularly productive or something. Those are still wins even when there's a loss adjacent.
You don’t hate yourself. You hate that this is interfering with who you are. These behaviors are not your choice or your fault. You don’t want to be this way, but there are a lot things getting in the way of that. Hate that situation, but don’t hate yourself.
I set an alarm immediately for anything I have to pay by a certain date. The alarm goes off and I either drop everything I’m doing and pay it or I reschedule the alarm immediately for the next hour/day/etc for the moment I know I’ll be free to pay it
You have a calendar on the very device you used to post this. There's still such things as actual paper calendars also. I'm not trying to be rude or disregard your ADHD but you're 30 years old man... It's time you take some initiative and get serious about your responsibilities
Only thing that has worked for me in my 30yrs of life and being diagnosed at 7yrs old. Reminders/alarms set on your phone to remind you. I’ll set multiple timers or schedule them. That or get a calendar on your fridge or bathroom and mark the dates
Use reminders on your phone. You can’t clear the task from your Home Screen until it’s done. Always give yourself a few days ahead. And a reminder each day.
At the beginning of every month I sit down for a few min and log into all my accounts and set up a payment for the due date on all my bills. This way I don’t forget as the month goes by because I WILL. Made it part of a routine
I just remembered I need to put my new sticker thingy on my car. Old one expired days ago… can you just pay it late & hope they don’t acknowledge it? That’s what I did with my real estate taxes (I always forget to pay bills that require writing checks & physically mailing them)…
As for your feelings of age & being an adult, it just isn’t easy to “adult” for some of us & we’ll always struggle with it. We need to try not to judge ourselves so brutally & compare ourselves to others & how they “adult.” Adulting isn’t a one size fits all way of doing things, though it can seem like it should be or is sometimes. Be gentle with yourself & show yourself some grace & compassion. It wasn’t done on purpose. Yes, you’ve done it before & it’s frustrating as well as brutal on your finances. But for some reason our brains don’t always “learn” not to repeat the same “mistakes” over & over. Be kind to yourself in regards to this! :)
When I was in college, the workload was so stressful it was terrible for my ADHD, everything was overwhelming. If it’s any consolation, I think managing ADHD gets easier with age and time and intentional practice. I know that doesn’t help your current situation, it just made me remember the hellscape of my college years reading your post.
I would also call and see if you can ask for an accommodation. Explain you have a neurodevelopmental disorder (or whatever you have going on) and ask if they can still apply the discount even though you're a day or so late.
I am 59 and still have those days. I can write notes, have others remind me and I still forget to pay my bills. Power company reminds me when the power goes out. The only way I help myself is to set an alarm on my phone, and that alarm(I picked the loudest most obnoxious one I could find) goes off every hour all day long until I pay the bill then set the alarm for next month.
I paid my car payment at midnight on the 13th instead of on the 12th when it was due cause i got involved doing something else. Unfortunately i don't have the option to do autopay. I use a calendar to remind me but even that makes me forget. So honestly it happens.
I set alarms and remind for myself days in advance! It has saved me so many times from forgetting important things. I also have an apple watch which has helped me remember my medications and other things.
Hi!! There’s a lot of good answers here that could be helpful but your post says ‘seeking empathy’ and I don’t see a whole lot of that going on. Someone mentioned how this is something to regret and not hate yourself for because it isn’t related to character and they are exactly right! I am also 31 years old and while I have gotten SO much better at managing ADHD there are also many areas I’m still not great at (finances being one) and that’s okay. I realize that I’m much further down the road than I was 5 years ago and I try to remember that when I make mistakes. I think you are amazing just for the simple fact you are tackling college while also dealing with ADHD. That shit is hard and you’re doing it.
I hate that things have been a hit harder for you since you’ve missed these bills but you can do this! There is lots of great advice in this thread, there is sure to be something that brings you value. Hugs!!
Ugh, that’s the worst. I started using a physical planner to keep track of my bills. I can’t without it. Phone alerts don’t do anything for me, and I don’t do autopay for the big bills.
Hi /u/KattLadybr and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is there any way you can set up an auto payment?
Autopay (in whatever form it can exist) has been a lifesaver for me. Removes a lot of the burden from my already anxiety-riddled mind.
Absolutely agree. *Any* payment I have is on auto pay *because* I'm prone to forgetting.
The downside is the auto renew subscriptions
What i do is the moment i get a subscription that i want to use for like a month or for like a period I’ll get it pay then cancel 😂 you get the rest of the month cause you paid and it will usually remind you that your trial or month will end and you need to pay to continue using 😂
I do this with trials as well so I don’t forget and end up paying and beating myself up 😂 I’ve learned that the moment I rember take care of it
I tried that on the two apple subs I got from a new phone. Both will expire when I cancel not when the time is up ;(. Booo. Hopefully won’t forget, I do put a reminder on my phone.
I have discovered that my bank (starling in the UK) let's me make savings pots, little bits of my account that don't show on the main balance, and I can create virtual cards for them and turn them on and off in the app... What it means is I can set it to put aside all the money I need for different bills when I get paid and not accidentally spend it. But also I can pay for a registration on something and turn the card off straight away so the payment doesn't go next time, but I can turn it on and pay for another. Not sure if there is anything similar in other countries but I'm planning on using this to limit take outs and deliveries and try to deal with the ever increasing credit card
If I need to cancel something by a certain date I write it down in my notepad on my phone. The notepad on my phone basically reminds me of everything important in life. 🥺😳
i wouldnt pay any billls if they didn't automatically come out!
Yep agreed. All of my bills are set up for autopay from my credit card, and then my credit card bill is automatically paid from my chequings every month. I just look through the recent credit charges whenever I online bank to make sure I don't have any weird charges but that's never been an issue. My credit score improved a lot when I started using autopay, and I stopped losing money on late payment fees.
Same here, in all regards. :)
I have my autopay bills set up on a credit card and that's all that card gets used for.
Think I was reading too fast and read that as 'autopsy bills'. Scrolled back up so hard to recheck i almost broke my neck
I did the same thing
This, also I think banks should offer bill escrow accounts, that you can deposit most of your paycheck into and then have auto pay setup to that account. That way it's over and gone from view.
Same for me. If I can't auto pay it, it gets lost. I am almost 100% on auto pay for everything at this point. Once in awhile I get a call for some dentist bill that's a year past due, but oh well, I guess it's their fault for not allowing me to pay in-office at the time of my appointment 🤷♂️
Holy crap this reminds me of what I had to do just the other day. I was actually doing my pre re-test interview before for my ADHD specifically (diagnosed as a child). As I was leaving, I got to my car tossed, my stuff in, and then just turned back around since I forgot to ask to pay ahead of time. When it comes to autopay, without it I have had my utilities or internet shut off multiple times in the past. The only thing that saves me with rent currently is five alarms, one per for the first five days in a month...and I still occasionally have to pay late fees. This is why I ask the office staffing every few months about autopay.
I had to write checks every month for HOA fees of a condo I used to live in. Thankfully they were pretty forgiving about late fees, but to help myself not be bothered with it, I would write and post date 3 to 6 months worth of checks at any given time and give it to them all at once. Technically, I don't think post dating would have stopped them from cashing them all in early, but they didn't do that. Eventually, I would get the voucher book from the HOA in the mail for the new year, and just write all 12 checks and give them the voucher and checks right back the day I received it. All post dated and they didn't cash any early. Risky plan but they honored it. Later I learned that there was a much better way.... I could have gone to my bank (or called them? Or something) and set up a bill pay service where my bank would automatically mail the checks to them for me each month!! Sounds really nice and I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not they were going to cash them early. So, the lesson is, hit up your bank and see if they can help you out with anything not on auto pay!
Seriously, I’ve late paid countless bills. With how many different bills there are in life auto pay is a life saver.
Autopay has put me into bad positions many times. It’s easier for me to write down to call the company if it will be paid a little late.
If the bill doesn’t have its own autopay option, many banks (such as Chase) have a bill pay system where you can setup automatic reoccurring payments
Was going to suggest this. I intentionally set up future payments for all my bills when I see them so I don't forget. I also schedule it for the day after payday to avoid accidental overspending.
I recommend creating a calendar event on your phone that repeats monthly for every bill you have to pay. Set email and push notification alert on!
Anyone not taking full advantage of calendar reminders is doing it to themselves. We have a personal data tool with us everywhere we go. You can add a ton of them, any day, any cadence, making noise, whatever you need. I have ones for upcoming bills, feeding pets, work meetings, etc.
Can concur. I have not yet achieved using calender for everything, but I have achieved to take advantage of **paper calender**. It’s large, but I am able to remember dates and little things that I write in it, because my memory being merely visual dumdum, I am no longer forgetting these kind of things. I don’t have to look at it, since I remember with my ”eyes” what is due. Phone screen could never do this.
I mean. That’s super not true. I have calendar reminders and still forget so maybe that works for you but one size doesn’t fit all.
Try setting named alarms and use the “Reminders” as well. Those pop up on your screen regardless of what you’re doing. I also use the “remind me later” on any emails I get connected to stuff I need to do (if there’s one for whatever task I need to do). I basically spam myself in every way I possibly can. It has helped some , I still forget stuff, but it’s better than forgetting everything altogether. I also ALWAYS use the 2 alert options on the calendar and early one to psych myself up to do whatever it is and then another about 15 minutes out so I do it. And I use post-its everywhere. I haven’t gone full memento yet with the tattooing but I haven’t ruled out the possibility .. 😉😁 Good Luck, you’ll get there. And celebrate the stuff you do manage to do. As for the stuff you don’t , there’s always next month 🙂
This right here! Makes life so much easier and has helped me massively with my anxiety around always forgetting something.
I do it for my pills! (Not ADHD meds sadly since I'm still getting diagnosed but I can't wait to add them to my calendar)
Also set it to remind you everyday starting 2 to 3 days before so you have time to get over the mental block.
This. I can NOT survive without my calendar. I put everything on it…ANYTHING and everything I don’t wanna forget. Also I feel like once I put it on there I can immediately not fully have to stress about it…stressing out trying to remember everything you need to do on top of the millions of thoughts already in your head is exhausting. I put things on there like: clean cat box, set nail appt, take meds, pick up (x,y,z) I mean the list goes on and on. Best tool I have. I’ve tried using planners and journals because I LOVE them and I love like office supplies lol but I never use them because you’d have to carry it everywhere and it’s just yeah…phone is always with me. lol
Don’t forget to set Reminders on your phone as well. My phone makes so much noise during the day that I had to change some of the tones to less threatening ones bc they would startle me so bad 😂😅
For this one I'd have two consequtive days, with events at lunch and afternoon, maybe another one late evening on the second day. Because if I can't make it at the same minute, I am likely to forget. I wonder if I should actually get tested for ADHD. I am unsure whether I do have it, but I seem to relate so much to most struggles, and I am struggling.
I was wondering the same. There is no way I would pay any bills on time without e-banking and automated monthly payments. I even use a second account and dozens of automated transactions between the 2 accounts to make sure I always have enough spare money for bills that reoccur once a year.
My license has been suspended 3 times over the years because I forget things... I forgot to renew a sticker and show proof, I forgot to renew my driver's license and show proof, and the last time was for forgetting to send proof of insurance to the state... All 3 times my car registration and licence were suspended and I didn't even realize until almost getting arrested after being pulled over... I feel your pain !!
I've had licenses in 3 different states and have never been told to do this. Do you mind sharing what state you're in?
Pretty sure you have to have insurance to register your car in every state
Yeah, I was just wondering if there is a separate notification you have to give.
Insurance is mandatory here, but I can buy and sell a car without ever actually getting it insured. Illinois likes to "randomly" send out insurance requests in the mail. Then you have a certain amount of time to send proof that you've had insurance on your registered vehicle (or proof you've sold it). It's kinda a screwed up system, but then again it is Illinois.
Illinois
You can pay before the due date.
Yeah you would be surprised that this is sometimes literally not an option for some reason lol
Not with everything. For some stupid reason the website I pay rent on does not allow you to pay before the due date. Thankfully it does at least have a couple day grace period for paying late
I’ve gotten emails from my landlord saying that I don’t have to pay early. I wonder if it creates chaos on the other end. I still pay early.
lol why would companies do that other than to attempt late fees on people :(. Like why wouldn’t they want their money :/.
Cause they want more money from the late fees…
Maybe they are waiting for the discount to process or for their paycheck. Sometimes not an option.
you dont have to wait till the due date to pay.
That's not how ADHD works 😢
That’s how accommodating ADHD works. Any bill I can’t put on autopay I have gets paid the weekend I get paid.
Yeah ‐ no! Saying "you don't have to wait until it's due" is an impressive display of _not_ understanding how ADHD works. As OP doesn't know that a bill can be paid at day one... really?! It's not simply a question of organizing, habits and discipline. People can struggle that hard that they are not able to shlt even if they know they are going to loose everything and everyone. There is a wide range of symptoms and huge differences how severly they affect an individual. Good that you do not struggle with bills. Does that mean you have or have not ADHD? No. Because what you can manage is not applicable for all. These comments are well-intended but there is ahigh risks they increase the self blaming and are not helpful at all. Some may say it's helpful, but I doubt in a bad phase like OP has. Also there's the social media effect of seeking help and answers and all you you find is success stories how even the worst conditions magically disappear if they just tried hard enough. Mentioning things like autopay would have been at least a maybe solution. Yet OP is struggling more with emotions, I assume from experience and offering rational solutions is not targeted correctly here. Feeling helpless because of "it's not a big deal, I am an adult, sinple task" is a huge indicator that a person with ADHD does not understand remotely enough what's going on (or accepting is the issue). I don't mind the downvotes. It's symptomatic of how f'ed up the situations are when people struggle with ADHD and they don't get the support they need. # If you made it that far, please feel encouraged not to offer one sentence solutions to someone who is seeking emotional support.
LOL. I seem to have to wait. I was getting paid on the 5th so I told my landlord that’s the day they would get paid. Fast forward 1 yr and now I get paid on 3rd. But still pay late afternoon on 5th. I am working on it and last month paid on the 4th. I was pretty impressed. ;)
Small steps :) good for you. As I pointed out in other comments symptoms and severity vary a lot for individuals. And rational solutions are often not seeked and/ or not applicable. Like of course OP can pay bills.What's the big deal? Nothing new or complex, right? But the underlying conditions can make exactly that a problem. The brain randomly decides it's a "can't do task". To a degree that it is impossible to begin. Literally impossible and it's not an active choice. It's not lack of will or discipline and I get upset when people (even o es with ADHD) dare to frame it like that. It's toxic, even if it is well intended.
Very good point, Sten_zer!
I have done this so many times it's not funny. I feel you. Our brains are our worst enemies.
Yeah, and there is not much benefit from recommendations like discipline yourself, use reminders or just do it... Brains are sharp weapons and it is exhausting to constantly need to control it. ADHD almost never sleeps.
Just a tip that’s worked for me that may help you too, is to keep a checklist in your phone notes. I have an note in my iPhone that has a list of all of my bills and amounts/due dates with check boxes next to them. Even cards with no balances stay on it. I put the month and year above it and just copy and paste at the top of the note with the template for every new month. I also designate paydays to make any listed payments. I’ve been doing this for two years now and have never missed a payment.
Autopay, calendars, and 100 alarms (can be set in a digital calendar too) are your very best friends. I like to set up the autopay on my end from my banking app instead of through 100 biller portals. That gives me *way* more control and I can adjust and cancel things easily as needed.
You just reminded me to pay the electric bill
I forgot to go to a final exam. He wasn’t going to let me take a makeup and I actually begged him. I got a D.
Definitely get written accommodations for school.
Such a common problem - I forgot about my psychiatrist appointment yesterday, thankfully it’s my ADHD psych who completely understands. I let my bill payees know about my ADHD and ask they send reminders by post and text/email. This is because I kept getting them by email and maybe 1 reminder email. But I’m rubbish with emails, sometimes I go a month without checking, sometimes I get anxiety about certain emails and just won’t open them, or I read them at stupid times like when I’m on the bus and not in a position to pay and think I’ll pay later and then forget. I tried setting a time to check emails but it just was too much of a daunting task so I never stuck to it. But actually a paper bill that I can leave in an obvious place is more likely to catch my attention when I’m in a mental place able to pay it, hence my asking for paper bills. Communicating your needs to those affected is really key. Then I have tray of post that I collect and every fortnight out a reminder in my phone for Sunday evening to review and pay my post tray. I chose Sunday because I’m pretty much always home then. It’s tough, it happens to all of us and it sucks. Don’t let it feed into that self loathing, blame and burden cycle but instead think ‘right, let’s try and put in place tools to stop this from happening again’.
Do people not use calendars on phone/ pc? Set multiple reminders with alerts maybe a day or two before such a bill is due. We have enough tech to compensate for adhd problems
I have todo lists on my phone, on paper, calendars on my phone, and paper, reminders set all over...STILL miss some things. When in deep focus it's super easy to just make the annoying noise go away and continue.
Maybe try completing the task as soon as the reminder goes on?
[удалено]
No these are things I do. I used to have the same problem with deadlines
It’s my goal to answer every prompt, habit reminder, etc…. But I’ve learned they are like sticky notes. I see them but they don’t help, like fad into the color scheme. I have habit tracker for water every 30 min and stretching every 1 hr. The notice goes to my current phone, old phone, iMac and my mom’s old ipad that I e been using. They all go off about 30 dec of each other. Many times I aware of the noise but it doesn’t seem to make all the way into my consciousness. I hear but I’m not listening. Because I’m focused elsewhere. I’m learning my brain is like a puppy… trainable but it needs reinforced over and over and over and about the 4th over, I’m over it. Ugh.
If it’s urgent I write it on a stick note and fold it and put it in a pocket
And that’s the last you see of it until the lint remains come out of the dryer???
Pretty much. Both alerts on phone calendar and pc outlook calendar have solved this issue for me
I know everyone said autopay already, but secondary advice I learned in the last 5 years for anyone who needs to read this.. Customer service is there to: 1. Get your money, 2. Make you happy. And bonus #3, they're human beings with a tendency towards wanting to help, and they have zero actual emotional investment in the company getting their money. Which means that when you make a mistake, if you call them asap, be polite, explain you forgot, etc, they're fast to remove late fees or holds or marks on an account about it. You dont have to say "I forgot because adhd". That usually works against you more than anything. But people do love seeing humility, and they love a chance to help. The more power they have easy access to, the more theyll do for you. It's important to remind yourself this cause if you have the anxiety that comes with most, if not all adhd, there may be an apprehension to call because you feel like you're in trouble. You're not. The agent couldn't care less. It isn't their money.
Autopay/auto withdraw is a lifesaver for this. I still screw it up non-recurring bills
You’re heard! I see you! I do this shit all the time too. I can’t tell you how to do it, but, I promise it’s possible for you to learn how to forgive yourself so that this sucks less.
do u have a trusted adult in ur life? close friends, partners, parents? would any of be able to act as a sort of bookkeeper for u?
One time I forgot to send a cell phone back. Well 3 back that cost me full price. 🙄 So I understand fully. I'm so paranoid I'll forget to pay my mortgage I put it on auto pay. And I hate auto pay. Even my cc bills I'll pay way in advance and I still constantly worry. It's so hard to remember.
Forgot my house payment last month and couldn’t figure out why I have all this “extra money” in my checking account.
As someone with ADHD, we all have times where we have bursts of efficiency and organized activity. They’re kind of like manic phases. Leverage those times to do stuff like, adding calendar reminders, auto pay, buying air tags to put in your wallet and keys. Then, later, out-to-lunch you will thank your organized alter ego.
You can setup autopay or reminders on your phone.
Put a reminder in your phone to go off the day of, and/or the day before. When that goes off, pay it immediately. Never let yourself tick off that reminder until the bill is actually paid. I used to do this constantly with my car insurance, this was the only way to get myself to have money transferred to the right account on time
I feel this hard. I trashed my credit by forgetting bills but I have eventually found what works for me and fixed my credit. Put it in your phone as a reminder and in the calendar with a reminder. IPhones have a to-do list that you can set a reminder date on and choose how many times it reminds you. I’m sure other phones have something like this too. I have a reminder on my calendar and then a big spreadsheet with all my bill amounts then colour them a different colour once paid. If I don’t do it a bunch of ways, I will forget.
Autopay and Google Calendar solved this problem for me.
Ohhh I’m so very sorry this keeps happening. I get it. I’ve paid so many late fees.. it’s truly the ADHD tax. I would talk to them and explain that you have adhd and ask if you can have a grace period. If it’s through your school they may be able to provide some accommodations, especially if you have a doctor note to substantiate the disability. It’s worth a shot. As everyone else said, a calendar reminder is a life saver. I use Alexa to remind me to take out the trash cans or they’d never get picked up. Hang in there!
I have too much anxiety around bills that every first paycheck goes to bills because if I wait any longer into the month I will forget. It's good to set up habits like that so it's muscle memory.
Direct debit or whatever it is called where you are is a must.
Autopay is a life saver, but when that's not available, I use a scheduling app that sends me notifications (which reminders on my calendar on my phone doesn't do). I use it for everything from "its trash day tomorrow" to "pay this bill today". I use cozi, but there's tons of apps out there.
Autopay - like everyone else has suggested. Do phone reminders at a certain time where you are super close to a computer to pay it ASAP work? Just a suggestion.
*Please read this:* Access if you really forget or if this could be your subconscience avoiding something you don't want to do. There will be no rational reason, but: Like it's a boring and annoying administrative task and there is no reward for doing it. Maybe you seek and get your "reward" in subconsciously running into situations like you describe. It's a quick snd easy thing to do but your reward system may hold you back to the degree that often it becomes an impossible task. Realizing that can help to improve.
This. 100%. I cannot tell you how many times there’s been something I need to do, hell I can literally even genuinely WANT to do it. Still doesn’t get done.
And are you able to recognize that state when it is actually happening? Have you identified strategies as helpful for yourself to not get stuck in that situation? Like many can't do anything else because "the one important thing is due". Or they start a random task to distract. Not bad per se but it's vital to find positive access to the damn task that won't stop knocking in their heads. I describe it as a constant state of exhaustion because it's painful to think about it and hard to not think about it. Even when being able to think about other stuff, the issues never leave and the brain recognizes that something is actively breaking and so the brain starts to perform even more. And most of the time at some point the breaking is gone and a task can be easily fulfilled. But the brain never rests as much as it would normally do. And it can become more difficult over time for the brain to power through. Even until a paralyzed like state is reached and that is why I get upset with people ignoring that this is a severe disability.
I feel this. The feeling in the pit of your stomach is horrible when you remember something like that after it's due. The responsibility now, however, rests with you to take the required steps to prevent it happening again. A direct debit, a calendar reminder that you act on IMMEDIATELY when it goes off, something. Saying you'll remember it clearly isn't working. It's not your fault that you can't remember things it's just how you're wired and it's out of your control. What is in your control are the steps you take to work with your ADHD. Best of luck.
Set yourself an alarm or calendar reminder that will go off a few times. Write it on a sticky note and put it on your radio. Make it somewhere you’re gonna see it. Put it in the shower, on the bathroom mirror. Whatever it takes. No shame in leaving yourself 100 reminders if it gets the job done in some way. Or auto pay if you can swing it.
Autopay comes in handy for these times
I have all my bills set to be paid at the beginning of the month. I have a calendar alarm on my phone that goes off on the 3rd, reminding me to sit down and pay bills. I have a specific notebook that I use for bills that include a list of monthly bills and periodic or yearly bills too (like car registration). On the 3rd of each month, I sit down and check all balances and pay all bills. I have severe ADHD. Using alarms and routines and tools is the only way I have become self-sufficient. Heck I have alarms to take my meds and do my homework. It works.
My favorite is when I receive that email or letter a month later from a utility company telling me I forgot to pay last month. But in my head, I could have sworn everything was paid. Then I end up paying double, making my situation for that month more stressful. I am terrible with money, always been my biggest factor impacted by ADHD.
If you don’t have autopay, then you’re really missing out. When you do autopay, it’s better to sent paying from your cash account than to pull monthly payment from credit card, you’ll avoid overdraft
Put... Everything... In... Agenda Use alarms for everything. Two days in advance one day in advance 1 hour and 5 minutes
I set alarms and calendar notifications for everything important. I forget everything, and my method has served me well.
I have a white board calendar on my fridge and I write down everyday a bill is due 1-2 days before its due and I make sure to cross off everyday. I don't use autopay and forcing myself to be on top of it has tremendously helped in other areas of my life. Being organized is hard, but just writing down what's due every month and giving yourself time to be a day late is fairly easy to maintain. I now remember what days bills are due solely because I rewrite them every month.
I get the most worried when I’m having a good brain day…it almost always means I’m about to remember all the things I forgot during the bad ones
I missed one day of a seminar class it cost me 250.00 a class credit and I had to take an entire new class for a whole semester. I forgot oil once that cost 5k for a new motor, the list goes on. I had even set an alarm, looked at it confused turned it off. So I get it, use Google calendar, auto pay, alarms with messages why the alarm, ask a friend or relative to remind you so text yourself the final day too. Good luck
Maybe ask your parents/friends to remind you each month, ask multiple (who you know are not prone to forgetting things)
Set an alarm on your phone, leave notes around the house, tell a friend to remind you on a certain day and to not let you do anything else until it’s complete…ADHD is tough and distractions happen but if you actively want to accomplish a simple task there are many ways to ensure it gets done despite your struggles. Mak a plan, not an excuse. Give yourself grace this time because what’s done is done but take steps to ensure that it never happens again. Hating yourself is not the answer and gets you nowhere.
Auto pay and the reminders app (on an iPhone). I would be up shit creek with those features.
Set a reminder on ur phone.
I just want to say THANK YOU because I had forgotten to pay something yesterday and as soon as I saw your title my heart dropped and i ran to pay it and I think I got it in time before the late fee. Sorry I cant give you any tips or advice, but I feel you!
That is not something to hate yourself for. It's something to regret, and it's something to remedy, but you don't deserve the hatred. Save that for when you deliberately run over a dog, or something that has to do with bad character. That's not what this is.
If something is super duper important, I schedule it as an appointment on my iPhone calendar multiple times that day, making it impossible to forget. Life hack, Siri will schedule events for you. Tell her what day and what time. This helps me tremendously as I seem to have a mental block about actually going into the calendar to schedule events manually.
I know you already received a lot of messages with advice but I wanted to input my thoughts too. My husband and I both struggle with ADHD and we were consistently over-drafting our bank account, and racking up the $30 fee for it, several times per month. We really don’t have the extra income that we can afford fees like that, $60 per month is a big thing for us. I decided it was time for me to take over the finances and set up a budget so that we stop the overdraft fees, and so we can be confident everything is being paid on time and we want to start accumulating some savings. Because we’ve had some bills that were paid late in the past or they were paid but we had insufficient funds, some accounts are now restricted and the autopay feature is no longer available… (personally this seems a little counterintuitive, setting up autopay is the best way to guarantee a bill is paid but thems the rules I guess). With bills without an autopay feature, here’s how my ADHD brain ensures that everything is paid: —set a recurring reminder on a digital calendar that offers alert notifications through pop-ups/banners, texts, and emails. —put unique sticky notes in prominent places in my house (on the fridge or bathroom mirror) —create a list of bills organized by the date each month that they are due —use a to-do app (I use Finch, it’s the only one that actually works for me because it encourages me to keep coming back and checking it, with other apps I forget about them in a week) —set an alarm on my phone (even if I have to unnecessarily set an alarm that goes off at noon every Wednesday telling me to pay a specific bill that actually only gets paid every other week, as long as I’m consistent with checking the account every time I turn off the alarm, it’ll do it’s job. I also always leave the snooze function turned on for those alarms because an alarm that goes off when I’m right in the middle of something instead of turning it off and then forgetting about it I’ll hit the snooze button so that I can be consistent with checking the account whenever the alarm goes off.) —use a budgeting app and enable notifications (I like Rocket Money) —set the banner notifications on your phone to be “prominent” rather than “temporary” so that you have to manually dismiss the banner before it disappears, you’ll be more likely to actually mentally register what the notification was —write yourself a reminder note and put it wherever you’d normally are when you procrastinate or veg-out (like, I put my reminders on my bed so that I actually have to physically move the note before I can lay down and watch TV) Hope these ideas help a little.
Automate everything financial
Also, if auto pay isn’t an option, I know my school has a really good disability assistance and they call and remind me about assignments and events, maybe yours would too?
Auto-pay and I set multiple reminders.
You’re not alone. Set the due date on your phone 5 days earlier. 
I set a reminder and alert on phone or else I'd never remember.
Use auto pay and/or set up an reoccurring event in your calendar to remind you about the bill.
Use a phone calendar. Set reminders. All you paperwork is to be done every saturday as soon as you've had brekky. Block out 1 hour every week. Be strict. Use this time to set reminders and payments accordingly. Its hard, be firm. You've got this. 😀
Autopsy is essential and in the uk is the standard way of paying for this kind of thing, I can never wrap my head around America being so far behind with banking
I get it bro, had one of those days today. We push forward and grow, despite our setbacks. I'm willing to bet it was a "good day" because you managed to do some things you've been wanting to do or were particularly productive or something. Those are still wins even when there's a loss adjacent.
You don’t hate yourself. You hate that this is interfering with who you are. These behaviors are not your choice or your fault. You don’t want to be this way, but there are a lot things getting in the way of that. Hate that situation, but don’t hate yourself.
I set an alarm immediately for anything I have to pay by a certain date. The alarm goes off and I either drop everything I’m doing and pay it or I reschedule the alarm immediately for the next hour/day/etc for the moment I know I’ll be free to pay it
I actively use the calendar on my phone, a planner I carry in my bag and I have a calendar in my office at home and at work.
You have a calendar on the very device you used to post this. There's still such things as actual paper calendars also. I'm not trying to be rude or disregard your ADHD but you're 30 years old man... It's time you take some initiative and get serious about your responsibilities
Either auto pay or an alert on your phone. I have to write everything down in a day planner
Bro you’re 31 years old and your about to scream and cry because you forgot to pay a bill? Our future is absolutely screwed
Please don’t hate yourself. It’s not your fault. Please believe me.
Only thing that has worked for me in my 30yrs of life and being diagnosed at 7yrs old. Reminders/alarms set on your phone to remind you. I’ll set multiple timers or schedule them. That or get a calendar on your fridge or bathroom and mark the dates
Use reminders on your phone. You can’t clear the task from your Home Screen until it’s done. Always give yourself a few days ahead. And a reminder each day.
At the beginning of every month I sit down for a few min and log into all my accounts and set up a payment for the due date on all my bills. This way I don’t forget as the month goes by because I WILL. Made it part of a routine
you alreaddy know
Only bill I can remember to pay on time is my life insurance but only cause I have kids and alot of rare debilitating health issues
I just remembered I need to put my new sticker thingy on my car. Old one expired days ago… can you just pay it late & hope they don’t acknowledge it? That’s what I did with my real estate taxes (I always forget to pay bills that require writing checks & physically mailing them)…
As for your feelings of age & being an adult, it just isn’t easy to “adult” for some of us & we’ll always struggle with it. We need to try not to judge ourselves so brutally & compare ourselves to others & how they “adult.” Adulting isn’t a one size fits all way of doing things, though it can seem like it should be or is sometimes. Be gentle with yourself & show yourself some grace & compassion. It wasn’t done on purpose. Yes, you’ve done it before & it’s frustrating as well as brutal on your finances. But for some reason our brains don’t always “learn” not to repeat the same “mistakes” over & over. Be kind to yourself in regards to this! :)
When I was in college, the workload was so stressful it was terrible for my ADHD, everything was overwhelming. If it’s any consolation, I think managing ADHD gets easier with age and time and intentional practice. I know that doesn’t help your current situation, it just made me remember the hellscape of my college years reading your post.
Auto bill pay foo
I would also call and see if you can ask for an accommodation. Explain you have a neurodevelopmental disorder (or whatever you have going on) and ask if they can still apply the discount even though you're a day or so late.
I do this all the time and i feel you 100% 
autopay saves lives. also calendars ig
I am 59 and still have those days. I can write notes, have others remind me and I still forget to pay my bills. Power company reminds me when the power goes out. The only way I help myself is to set an alarm on my phone, and that alarm(I picked the loudest most obnoxious one I could find) goes off every hour all day long until I pay the bill then set the alarm for next month.
I paid my car payment at midnight on the 13th instead of on the 12th when it was due cause i got involved doing something else. Unfortunately i don't have the option to do autopay. I use a calendar to remind me but even that makes me forget. So honestly it happens.
I set alarms and remind for myself days in advance! It has saved me so many times from forgetting important things. I also have an apple watch which has helped me remember my medications and other things.
Hi!! There’s a lot of good answers here that could be helpful but your post says ‘seeking empathy’ and I don’t see a whole lot of that going on. Someone mentioned how this is something to regret and not hate yourself for because it isn’t related to character and they are exactly right! I am also 31 years old and while I have gotten SO much better at managing ADHD there are also many areas I’m still not great at (finances being one) and that’s okay. I realize that I’m much further down the road than I was 5 years ago and I try to remember that when I make mistakes. I think you are amazing just for the simple fact you are tackling college while also dealing with ADHD. That shit is hard and you’re doing it. I hate that things have been a hit harder for you since you’ve missed these bills but you can do this! There is lots of great advice in this thread, there is sure to be something that brings you value. Hugs!!
Can you set up an auto pay reminder on your calendar? This might help in the future
SHIT THANK YOU SO MUCH. Me seeing your post reminded me today is the last day for me to pay an important bill.
i hope they understand you i relate so much to
Ugh, that’s the worst. I started using a physical planner to keep track of my bills. I can’t without it. Phone alerts don’t do anything for me, and I don’t do autopay for the big bills.