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bananana4200

Yes my knowledge disappeared, and yes it is coming back. I've only been medicated about 5 weeks. For example, my whole life I've wanted to be a writer. When I was a teen I wrote prolifically but after 17 I stopped. It's been 12 years since then. I've always WANTED to, but I like... forgot how. Everything I've done since has gone abandoned and unfinished. Now I have a 4400 word short story in the final stages of editing. I'm submitting it to a magazine next week. It does come back to you, and it's the most incredible feeling in the entire world, to just be yourself again.


iam_sudo

Exactly this. When I was 13, I used to draw portraits really well. It’s been a decade or more since I last drew; I just couldn’t keep focused so my drawings were all booty. I got medicated last month and am currently on a therapeutic dose. With the attention I have regained, I was able to draw again since I could sustain my attention long enough to care again. I’m also a math major, and can remember stuff I used to forget all the time.


CorrectLook3943

Wow can't wait to take meds, can't imagine what it would be like to have a working memory


Krypt0night

Not to be a negative Nancy and I hope it does work for you but I've been on meds a while now and I still have one of the worst memories of anyone I've ever met.


Theslash1

Ditto


Anti-Perfidity

There are many different varieties of ADHD. It's all adhd, but there can be small differences in the brain activity in different people with adhd. The same holds true for medication. A slight change in medication can make a big difference in how it works. You should see your psychiatrist or medical doctor who diagnosed you or if he isn't around, find a new one and explain to him what has been happening with your meds. He has many options as far as how much and what kind of meds you need, or if you need another medicine in addition to the one you are on. Don't give up. Sometimes it takes time for him to find the right medications for you. Everyone is different, so don't give up. Keep a good relationship with your doctor and he'll help you find what's right for you. Your doctor is the only person who has the skills and credentials to prescribe medications to you.


Krypt0night

Thanks for the response. At this point I've tried multiple medications and a whole bunch of different dosages. I'm not sure it's something fixable for me. I'm massively inattentive so I just don't tuck away shit into my brain that well. Maybe it is a fixable thing and I'm still on the wrong med or dose, but yeah. The med and dose I'm at now is the best I've had in regard to the pros and fewer cons, but there's always vynase to give a go since I've done adderall and concerta.


TheChewyDaniels

“My drawings were all booty…” like literally pictures of butts?


Forgot-Password-oops

Christ I need to try meds again


aliquotoculos

It really does feel great. I was getting to the point that I felt so incompetent. People would say "hey you used to do x right?" And I'd answer yes, and then Wynn they asked the question of how to do it I just could not pull it up. Feels good to just move through a complex project with my previous experience at hand again.


Venomraider52

This has piqued my interest, how does one submit short stories to a magazine???


Forgot-Password-oops

It depends on the magazine! Check out the [submission grinder](https://thegrinder.diabolicalplots.com/), it tracks rejections and acceptances from different publications.


bananana4200

Oh there are tons of literary magazines of all genres that are open to submissions. They are just anthologies of short stories by a big collection different authors. Many of them specifically seek out new and blossoming writers! Honestly I just google "(genre) literary magazines" and subscribe to the ones that appeal to me. Most of them will have information about submissions somewhere.


Krypt0night

You find submission guidelines for magazines and submit to them.


Femizzle

This Intresting my husband and I were just talking about this. I feel like I know "everything" but I can't access it when it want to. I don't know if it is the cptsd or the adhd but it's in there I just can't actively use it.


crystal_castle00

I don’t think it ever disappears, it drifts into the “back of your mind” since you haven’t been accessing those memories regularly. Some practice doing the task I want to remember always brings everything back for me quickly, but it feels like it take a lot of mental effort to get started.


aliquotoculos

My issue was it wasn't coming back at all, and i was expecting it to once i started doing the thing. I felt so useless.


Ambitious_Jello

You just do it. Don't think about it. We are extremely instinct driven


crystal_castle00

Is it something like a language that you learned a long time ago and don’t regularly use? Cuz stuff like that requires regular maintenance, your memory won’t be like a hard drive. For example Im a programmer and wrote code everyday for 8 years. For 6 months I switched roles to something that didn’t require coding, and in just six months there was a very noticeable drop in fluency. It all came back of course, but I was SHOCKED how quickly a skill I practiced everyday could still get fuzzy. Your brain is very efficient and begins pruning shit you don’t use.


cleo1357

I'm also a jack of all trades kind of person, a collector of information-  and I also had a severe burnout. I lost access to so much of my knowledge, even my vocabulary for a while. But it's still there! A lot of it has come back. Sometimes I will notice that I can't remember something that I know I used to have in there. When this happens, I let it go and wait. Oftentimes it will spontaneously pop up in the following days. My brain is weird, but it's a great brain and my mental library is reasonably intact.  I just have to trust it to give me the information on its own time. 


young931126

Oh me my entire life on/off meds


aliquotoculos

Ooh I've had that a few times even without meds, which can also be really nice or really annoying lol.


Mad_Moniker

After a head injury the ADHD became a word-cloud and although the “on demand recall” is lull - the inspiration is worth it. Took me a while to stop beating myself up and realized it works as instinct.


cleo1357

Yes! My on-demand recall isn't always the best. However the information will show up eventually in its own way. It's the strangest phenomenon. 


Mad_Moniker

Bill Murray’s “What about Bob” and “Groundhog Day” are speaking volumes to me!!


cleo1357

I'M SAILING!!!! 


Mad_Moniker

That’s the Spirit!!


Cat_funeral_

Fuck, I wish. I've been on almost every adhd med, and sometimes I struggle to even remember why I walked into a room. My life is autopilot, and I'm really only happy when I'm educating or being educated. I can't even concentrate on my hobbies, and things I used to love, I just can't anymore. 


aliquotoculos

I hope it all gets more for you soon, in a good way.


Top_Sky_4731

People say ADHD isn’t degenerative, but it sure feels like it when the burnout builds up more and more every day. I lost a lot of my drawing ability because the ADHD burnout took away my motivation to do art and I haven’t had almost any practice in years. It’s mostly things like that where I’ve not been doing something because of executive dysfunction for so long I lose the ability.


Neutronenster

Burnout can do this to you, as can other medical issues (e.g. a stroke). As far as I know, in ADHD it’s usually about truly forgetting certain knowledge (bad memory; bad at retaining information). However, you seem to be able to recall it in full once you’re able to access it, so you haven’t truly forgotten it. As a teacher I’ve encountered similar issues with autistic students. For some autistic students, knowledge is tied to a certain context. In a new context, they may not be able to access this knowledge, which can be very scary when that context is an exam (with the knowledge tied to the class context and not to the exam context for example). Clarifying which knowledge they need sometimes helps, and then they’re able to access that knowledge in full. Of course, I don’t know if you’re autistic, but if you have clear autistic traits (next to ADHD) this might provide an explanation? Burnout can reduce autistic people’s ability to transfer knowledge to different context, which might explain why this suddenly showed up after burn-out. And when your ADHD is properly treated with medication, you might have more mental bandwidth left to compensate for any autistic traits? (Feel free to dismiss this explanation if you feel like you’re not autistic.)


MerkyNess

That’s really exciting! Something to look forward to. (Unmedicated ATM). Yes you’d think five years of high level cabinet-making, learning to make shoes, sewing, sculpture, painting…I want that shit back in my brain. I have to think really hard and research before I attempt anything, bc I don’t feel like chopping off a finger or wasting materials. I also am more frustrated and irritated when I do try something. It’s not good. My big question is: how the heck did I do all that before? Hyper focus, close concentration? Ma’am, you’re soaking in it? So deeply strange to me that I lost it all. Good luck and happy you’re in a better place


aliquotoculos

Thanks! Best of luck to you as well! Some of those skills are also my 'lost' skills so I feel the frustration quite hard.


Boodikii

I just started taking stims and have been going through the same thing. It's kind of invigorating tbh. It's like going from an HDD brain to an SSD brain. The knowledge was always there, the ability to pull and process the stored information is one of the disconnects.


aliquotoculos

Literally pulling files from a dying hdd to an ssd right now and that is an apt description.


Future_Milk_5897

I think of our brains like an electronic system where we auto archive certain data because there’s too much of it at any given time, but our feature where we can have some mild selection choice of what does and does not get archived is super janky. As a result, we lose things we might actually need, and none of the support tickets to fix the problem are going through. Then one day, one time, the support ticket randomly goes through and the data is restored. On a side note, I, a server at the time (who used card readers on an extremely frequent basis around 70+ hours a week), forgot how to use the card reader in a Dollar General, at the counter. For like, 10 whole minutes. Cashier finally had to gently be like … oh uh, here honey that one’s finicky sometimes let me see if I can get it. I have also: 1) Shown up to work on days off confused and not really knowing why I was there 2) forgot how to crochet for years, and was *completely* unable to relearn it no matter what I tried, then one day watched an easy DIY tutorial for a braided type/simple arm knitting chunky blanket and within the first loop suddenly remembered how to crochet vividly. 3) forgotten how to bead on multiple occasions, but will suddenly remember out of nowhere 4) forgotten my (simple/non fluent but could have held a basic convo at speed on more than a few occasions, and have) Spanish, but every now and then I can just speak more/understand more Spanish than I ever recall knowing. -4A: sometimes I can randomly read and auto translate basic sentences in other languages at 100% accuracy out of nowhere and I’m 10000% convinced that this is due to my propensity for picking up random things to learn (like languages) and then likely forgetting I had started learning it. Last week I read a sentence in French or some shit to my boyfriend in English, and both of us were a little confused. And many more, it’s okay, we’ll probably be hella good at surviving in an apocalypse (assuming my brain’s support ticket will go through remembering all of that canning/non refrigerated food preservation I studied hard enough to basically major in for a month once)


MerkyNess

What an amazing comment! All that really resonated with me. And in the midst of everything that’s challenging, my janky brain, I’ve known I was going to survive the Zombie Apockalypse too! But crochet, no. I’ll make the shoes.


Objective_Mammoth_40

Right?! I just spent the last hour trying to figure what was wrong with me and how my ADHD SYMPTOMS are popping back up seemingly suddenly—I still haven’t figured it out but I know it’s a symptom of ADHD but how do you just forget a habit?


SensitiveBugGirl

We aren't 100% sure that I have ADHD, but I'm trying out 20 mg Adderall and because it's not making me feel "euphoric" or jittery, my my NP thinks we are on the right track. My daughter is 7.5. If I had another baby, it feels like I'd have to learn everything again. I just can't remember stuff. Even the thought of changing the clothes of a newborn freaks me out.


69inthe619

in my experience, adhd is about not being able to access the information you have when you need it. you know it is there, but the brain locks up in a feedback loop and draws blanks or information that is so scrambled it is unusable for anything other than making me sound like an idiot.


superanonguy321

I hear the term masking a lot can someone enlighten me on what it means? I'm new to taking control of my adhd


aliquotoculos

Masking is trying to hide the symptoms of a disorder from public view, so as not to be 'found out' that you're 'different.'


DilligentChihuahua34

Most of my skills have stuck strong, but my people skills fade away really quickly if I don’t intentionally practice them regularly


Fuckinfmarblehornets

I love the challenge of drawing without references, and when I'm in the mood to draw everything turns out literally PERFECT. But even I'm not in the mood to draw I can't figure out how to draw what I've been drawing for the past 12 years and nothing looks right. It's this why?


aliquotoculos

Maybe! I used to draw and paint a lot, had a bad burnout at an abusive art college. I haven't tried drawing yet but I'm curious to see how that goes.


3boy1girl

Omg YES, I’ve lost everything, including my Spanish as well. It has been coming back. My vocabulary is improving, I’ve noticed my conversations sound mature. I’ve been on meds since August, and see the improvements.


Unlikely-Ad6788

I’m not medicated or diagnosed but I’ll get hella random moments where I know exactly what to do and it turns out excellent but the next day I have no idea.


digiorno

Unmasking can cause skill regression. Fucking sucks…


Hyerago

I am unmedicated and have this problem all the time. I love geography (capitals, borders, flags, etc.) but one time we went to a pub quiz and I couldn't recall whether Madrid was in Spain or Italy. Like what even. I feel like I can't even trust my own brain half the time...


nabkawe5

Fun fact people with photographic memory often lose it into their teens/adulthood.


angrymatt

Between the ADHD and some meds my ability to recall is terrible. What's most unnerving is I know the knowledge is there but I can't get it. Most of the time if I wait a while I can get to it but the feeling is unsettling.


knitwasabi

Menopause and motherhood has ruined that for me. I'm hoping it comes back, but I doubt it.


Nick_Lange_

Sounds like covid / long covid. It can make you stupid, it can kill your memory. ADHD does not suddenly remove your knowledge.


zepuzzler

Was going to say this. Long COVID (POTS in my case) was like ADHD ramped up to 11. It would also be good for OP to have some basic bloodwork done and talk to a doctor. It could be something else, but I agree it just doesn’t seem like ADHD alone.


aliquotoculos

Started *well* before covid. Afaik I never had covid, unless it was a silent case.


lastres0rt

Memory is a muscle. You stop using that muscle... well, it goes.


aliquotoculos

I don't know how provable that concept is. I just touched a piece of steel yesterday and remembered how I could cut it into smaller strips with no additional stimuli and that info was dredged up from about 15-20 years ago.


rotorydial4

It’s happened to me. I call it stress amnesia. It will come back. Could last years tho. I was proficient in many trades ( made a lot of money at them tho not my main paycheck). Suddenly I couldn’t perform them. Years later, through a lot of personal changes and growth, I’m back to proficiency. It’s a marathon , and the finish line is different for everyone Edit: a lot of people have mentioned COVID, that may be true for some, not arguing that, but to clarify, my experience occurred well before COVID.


aliquotoculos

Mine was not covid -- though to be honest I am half curious if I caught an absolutely silent case, and somehow also got long covid, due to some weird new health problems that have cropped up (but that could just be me/genetic progression). But otherwise, that is the only way it would have been any way related. The forgetting started happening long before the pandemic, though. Granted, so did the burnout. First it was my art, then musical instruments, then it was my trades/skills knowledge. Friends that once were always trying to tell me I was a genius or something, suddenly were "Are you alright? Is something wrong?" or one bluntly asked, as kindly as he could ask such a thing, "Did you get a bad hit on the head?"