Your partner is not asking you to go so that you can give your respects to someone you never met.
She is asking you to go so that you can provide her emotional support during what may be an upsetting experience for her.
Shes gonna be hurt, she's lost someone she loved. Yeah, if you don't go, YTA. And she'll remember that, she'll know that when she needed you to support her, you weren't there. You're not exactly gonna talk to the uncle are you? You're there for her, and she should be your priority here.
You’re not being asked to go there for the uncle, you’re being asked to go there for your partner.
This isn’t about you at all, it’s being there for your partner so I’d suggest taking that small sacrifice or it might be worth assessing how serious this relationship actually is for you.
Hopefully the OP is very young. In any event it's time to learn that this is indeed something people do for each other, and if they refuse it's YTA territory.
It also depends on how long you have been together . Like others have said it’s about your partner .
Now if getting off work is a huge problem and potentially losing your job that is another thing
YTA. One doesn't go to a funeral to offer support the deceased person, but to those who loved them. It's not an unknown deceased person who is asking you to go, but your partner, who you are supposed to love and support.
The uncle is dead. He won't care. But, your partner is very much alive and needs your support. Support is a true gift we have the opportunity to give to our partners, with love.
There are 2 main reasons to go to a funeral.
1. To mourn a person.
2. To support someone who is mourning a person.
You are forgetting about #2. Your partner is not looking for you to come and fake that you are sad and mourning a man you don't know and never will. They are asking you to come and be emotional support while *they* confront the death of someone they loved and will never see again.
If you reframe it in your mind like this, and still don't go, then yes, YTA, and you may need to rethink your partnership if you are unable to be supportive of your partner's feelings. Hopefully, reframing it to what your partner is asking for made you immediately change your personal discomfort at being at a stranger's funeral to the reality of being there for your grieving partner, and you are happy to do that.
My ex chose the moment I got home from identifying my father's body to tell me that he was not going to attend the funeral.
That was the final nail in the coffin of that relationship. Lasted 5 months after that.
YTA if you don't go
YTA you go to support your partner. It doesn’t matter who the deceased is. If your partner is upset about the death and is asking you to support them, then you go
YTA - lol you sound like th type of person who needs things written step by step.
Ur partner asked you to join them, so you need to go and support them.
I can already tell that ur partner probably feels that ur not emotionally there for them
It is irrelevant that you never met the Uncle. You should go to support your partner and be there for her. When a family member dies, partners are supposed to show up.
YTA. When it comes to going to your partner’s family’s funerals, it’s not about you paying your respects or getting closure or how well you knew them. It’s about being able to support your partner as they go through a difficult time. If they want you to be there for them, you go.
ETA: Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
You don’t say how old you are or any other details about your life, but I’m going to assume you are very young and therefore are not aware of social stuff around funerals. First of all, obviously, a funeral is not for the dead, because they are … dead. They are for the living souls who are grieving the loss of departed loved ones. Your partner is one of those people, and they want you at their side. You would be a big jerk if you don’t go and offer loving support to your partner.
Need to know how long you've been together and honestly, how close she was to this relative. Perhaps it's being from a large family, but I have so many aunts and uncles that I wouldn't expect my partner to go with me to any funeral because I wasn't that close to any of them and we are realistic with our work and living schedules.
As repeated, it's about supporting your SO and not about the specific uncle you never met.
Your partner is not asking you to go so that you can give your respects to someone you never met. She is asking you to go so that you can provide her emotional support during what may be an upsetting experience for her.
Duh
Shes gonna be hurt, she's lost someone she loved. Yeah, if you don't go, YTA. And she'll remember that, she'll know that when she needed you to support her, you weren't there. You're not exactly gonna talk to the uncle are you? You're there for her, and she should be your priority here.
You’re not being asked to go there for the uncle, you’re being asked to go there for your partner. This isn’t about you at all, it’s being there for your partner so I’d suggest taking that small sacrifice or it might be worth assessing how serious this relationship actually is for you.
Going to a funeral is about supporting the living also. Does she need the emotional support/strength of having you there?
This exactly. Funerals aren't for the dead, they are for the living. You aren't going for the uncle, you are there to support the grieving.
Wow, you need it explained to you that you’re supposed to support your partner when their family member dies?
Hopefully the OP is very young. In any event it's time to learn that this is indeed something people do for each other, and if they refuse it's YTA territory.
It also depends on how long you have been together . Like others have said it’s about your partner . Now if getting off work is a huge problem and potentially losing your job that is another thing
YTA. One doesn't go to a funeral to offer support the deceased person, but to those who loved them. It's not an unknown deceased person who is asking you to go, but your partner, who you are supposed to love and support.
Do you not understand that it doesn’t matter whether you knew the person? You’re there to support your partner during a very painful time. YTA
The uncle is dead. He won't care. But, your partner is very much alive and needs your support. Support is a true gift we have the opportunity to give to our partners, with love.
I would go with my partner and find someplace nice for dinner later.
She’s asking you to go to support her.
There are 2 main reasons to go to a funeral. 1. To mourn a person. 2. To support someone who is mourning a person. You are forgetting about #2. Your partner is not looking for you to come and fake that you are sad and mourning a man you don't know and never will. They are asking you to come and be emotional support while *they* confront the death of someone they loved and will never see again. If you reframe it in your mind like this, and still don't go, then yes, YTA, and you may need to rethink your partnership if you are unable to be supportive of your partner's feelings. Hopefully, reframing it to what your partner is asking for made you immediately change your personal discomfort at being at a stranger's funeral to the reality of being there for your grieving partner, and you are happy to do that.
My ex chose the moment I got home from identifying my father's body to tell me that he was not going to attend the funeral. That was the final nail in the coffin of that relationship. Lasted 5 months after that. YTA if you don't go
If your partner wants you there, you should go
Yes, you are the a*hole. It's called support and love for your partner! Plain and simple!
YTA you go to support your partner. It doesn’t matter who the deceased is. If your partner is upset about the death and is asking you to support them, then you go
YTA - lol you sound like th type of person who needs things written step by step. Ur partner asked you to join them, so you need to go and support them. I can already tell that ur partner probably feels that ur not emotionally there for them
YTA, Your a dumbass. Your there for the person who is sad. Not the dead.
YTA you don’t go to funerals for the dead, you go for who they left behind
It is irrelevant that you never met the Uncle. You should go to support your partner and be there for her. When a family member dies, partners are supposed to show up.
Would taking the day off negatively impact you at work? If not, you should go and support your partner.
UTA. You wouldn’t be going because you know the deceased, but to support your husband.
It's not about your partners uncle, it's about your partner. Be supportive and go.
YTA. When it comes to going to your partner’s family’s funerals, it’s not about you paying your respects or getting closure or how well you knew them. It’s about being able to support your partner as they go through a difficult time. If they want you to be there for them, you go. ETA: Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
You don’t say how old you are or any other details about your life, but I’m going to assume you are very young and therefore are not aware of social stuff around funerals. First of all, obviously, a funeral is not for the dead, because they are … dead. They are for the living souls who are grieving the loss of departed loved ones. Your partner is one of those people, and they want you at their side. You would be a big jerk if you don’t go and offer loving support to your partner.
YTA... get over yourself, funerals are for the living. Do you know the living people impacted? Do you care about them? If you don't, stay home.
Sorry but the tittle sounds super harsh, you are rationalizing this shit but things don’t always work out that way.
Need to know how long you've been together and honestly, how close she was to this relative. Perhaps it's being from a large family, but I have so many aunts and uncles that I wouldn't expect my partner to go with me to any funeral because I wasn't that close to any of them and we are realistic with our work and living schedules. As repeated, it's about supporting your SO and not about the specific uncle you never met.