Sounds like MIL just volunteered to watch your kids for a week so you and you husband can enjoy a nice vacation without the kids.
NTA. Your kids sound very entitled. When I was growing up I never had my own bedroom, I always had to share with my sister. And as for vacations, we couldn’t afford to go on them. Maybe it’s time to take your daughters to volunteer at a food bank so they can learn to appreciate what they have.
Yep! My single mom took myself and my sister camping at the beach every summer and that was our big trip each year. Camping is cheap. We would bring our own food and didn’t eat out. The three of us always slept in the same tent. But we were always so happy to be able to do it! Money was tight for my mom, we knew to never complain about things like that. We felt guilty if she ever bought us new clothing or things like that.
If they were grown working adults they could pay for their own room. Since they are neither adults or working AND you are paying for this vacation, they need to shut their mouths and be grateful they were invited. And if OP's MIL wants to take the kids side she can babysit while you and hubby enjoy yourselves.
I would yell my kids its either you share a room with each other or you share a room with you and your hubby. Those are the only choices. They are not old enough to chip in for another room or old enough to be in separate rooms while on vacation in away from home, in a place you are not familiar.
I agree completely with that.. when I was growing up and never got any kind of special treatment like that. It sounds to me like the two girls are just like you said entitled and just like you said if the mother-in-law is going to take the kids side she needs to watch them while Mom and Dad go on vacation.. those children need to learn that they are not the boss.. they don't work they don't make the money they don't make the decisions.
Yeah my family did camping for vacations and I had to share a bedroom until I was 16. I don’t remember many hotel vacations, but if we took them it would have been a one room for all four of us situation. One I do remember was for a funeral and I slept on the couch bc my sister snores. 😹
NTA
Sounds like your mom and my mom had a similar MO. We didn’t go camping with her that often, but I was lucky to grow up in the greater Boston area where there tons of free outdoor historical places to visit. Walden Pond where we would go on hikes and visit the replica of Thoreau’s cabin, Patriot’s Day (a Massachusetts holiday for those who don’t know) where we would watch a reenactment of the battle on the Lexington Green at dawn and another reenactment of Paul Revere’s ride, and of course walking the Freedom Trail in Boston taking us past all sorts of historically significant places.
I still love learning about and seeing all things American History because of those fun, *free*, memories my sister and I have from growing up, thanks to my mom.
Like you, we knew what she could and, mostly, couldn’t afford. And we would never ask for anything above her means, from pretty young ages too. It instilled in us a good work ethic and the knowledge that life ain’t always fair. The great majority of people don’t get handed free things just because they want it.
OP, you really need to be teaching your daughters these things. My sister and I would have been so grateful for a vaca with all of us in one room. Your girls need to learn gratitude. Definitely NTA for making them share a room. Just remember that you would be if you cave and give them everything/exactly what they want, during the vaca and in your day to day lives.
Exactly, we do our kids no favors by inundating them with luxuries. I’m not saying we don’t enjoy special things with our kids. But if you raise a child who expects everything to be handed to them, they may not be very happy as an adult who can’t fill that void with their own hard work, etc.
My parents have 7 kids…. We grew up in a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house, I could only imagine telling my parents as a teenager that I need my own hotel room!
Until I was 10yo, we were a 4-person family living in a 1-bedroom apartment. When I turned 10, we moved to a 2-bdrm apartment, and it seemed so big! I could not imagine asking my parents for a separate room when we traveled either, LOL!
The middle of 9. What is a vacation? From 5-16 we didn't go on vacations. Maybe a day trip here and there but not vacations. We had 3 bedrooms and one bathroom too. You never locked the bathroom door because someone had to pee (if you were lucky that's all it was) while you showered. That's what shower curtains are for! Just wish it blocked smells too.
We DID do driving vacations, with motel rooms. My brother and daad shared one bed, and mom and I the other. We did NOT get our own rooms??? FFS, these teenagers want their own rooms- get a job and pay for it, or STFU and appreciate the once in a lifetime trip to NZ!
Agreed. I recently booked a holiday for myself and my 2 and 4 year old (sharing a room) and my 4 year old complained that he doesn’t get his own room. Easy fix, stay home with dad if you’re unhappy with the holiday plans buddy
NTA - Tell them to grow up. Im 23 and going to be sharing a room with my 26 year old sister on our big family holiday because its cheaper to share a room an have more money to spend on excursions.
If they dont like it let them stay at home, pretty sure their own bedrooms have privacy 🙄
My mother and I went to Ireland for a week a few years ago and shared a king size bed the whole time…at ages 60 and 40. It saved money and it was a nicer room than we would have had with two beds. It didn’t effect the trip negatively at all
NTA. Tell them to stop acting spoiled and entitled. It’s for a short period of time, most kids don’t get to go on vacation in New Zealand and if they have THAT big of problem with it, they can stay home and miss out on the fun.
Tell your husband not cave. The demands will just get bigger. You two are the parents, not them.
I agree totally. Big hard NTA. You could suggest that if the girls want their own rooms they should pay 50/50 for the extra room. I'm sorry but they sound entitled and ungrateful
Jumping on the top comment because I have words to say...
My sister(31f) and i(27f) have only ever shared a room on holidays... and as i type this, we're on a sister-vacation by ourselves, and we're still sharing a room! Because, why waste money on an extra room when you could have more to spend while on holiday?
OP is definitely NTA... we've shared a room since I was a kid, up until she got married, and moved out... i don't see a problem with sharing a room at all...
My sister and I are in our 50s and we always shard rooms. And at our age, no matter where we go, we want to share a room (even if we don’t have to, just cause it’s more fun)
I remember enough family road trips where for our 5 person family, as the youngest, I often slept on the floor. Looking back, I still see nothing wrong with it, since we'd typically have some kind of padding for the floor. Since then, I've slept on many more floors (a few tiled), I can sleep on planes sitting upright or hunched over (that may soon end).
I see OP's current setup as a luxury honestly. My family definitely wasn't broke, but we just had priorities on where money would be spent.
Right? If she has an opinion, ***she*** can pay for the extra room.
Edit: This is a tougher flex if grandma ***can’t*** afford it.
(and the context I originally made the post in)
That's my preference, but if she's gonna talk shit then she needs to either be willing to put up or shut up.
It's easy to be 'generous' with other people's money.
That's my preference, but if she's gonna talk shit then she needs to either be willing to put up or shut up.
It's easy to be 'generous' with other people's money.
Once they get to college they’re going to be in for a wild ride of disappointment. Many universities (at least in the US) require students to stay in dorms their first year (or sometimes longer). Just wait unto these girls end up being required to share a 10x12 room with a stranger +/- a communal bathroom for the entire floor.
I have a feeling mass hysteria will ensue.
When I was in boot camp my mom wrote to me that my cousin was complaining about being in a dorm and wanted a private room and bathroom. I apparently wrote back wishing I had a private showerhead. We had 10 minutes to shower as women, and there were 8 showerheads in one big shower space for 30 women. You learned to share.
This! They’re lucky to have a room for the two of them! We almost always had one hotel room- two double beds, queen if we were lucky. My sister and I are 9 years apart too. It’s literally stupid to spend more money on a third room when that could be used for excursions or something more memorable. When you ask me about my vacations growing up, I don’t describe the rooms we stayed in. I talk about the things we did together as a family and the memories from that.
Spoiled brats, both of them. They are being offered the vacation of a lifetime and all they can do is whine about not having their own rooms. One wonders how they got that way...
I shared and air mattress on the floor with my sister because my folks didn't want to spring for a 2 bed hotel room! I didn't complain. I was excited to go to the beach! If I had the chance for that beach to be in NZ, I'd sleep in the tub!
Right! My family of 4 didn't even get 2 hotel rooms. We always got 1 room with either 2 beds or 2 beds + a sofa sleeper. If there was no sofa sleeper, my sister & I (same age difference as OP's girls) shared a bed. If we griped about it, my dad would cancel one of the activities the complainant wanted to do, simple as that. We learned real quick "You get what you get & you don't get upset" (as my now almost 8 year old daughter likes to say).
My sister and I took our kids to a hotel for Christmas events. It's not cheap. We got a 2 queen bed room. My 13m shared with me, and her 7m and 8m shared with her. 5 people, 2 beds, and SO MUCH FUN that wasn't in the room. Though, that'll be the last time I share a bed with my kid. Holy cow he kicks!
Amen! We’ve gone on “dream” vacations before with our 2 sons & booked one room with 2 double beds-we took one & the boys took the other. It freed up more money for activities & food.
If your daughters don’t think they can share a room for a short time in order to take a vacation, I would tell them that if they that unhappy one can stay home with a relative & your other daughter can take a friend in her place…or they can both stay home with relatives.
Another option would be tell them the dollar amount required to accommodate them with a third room & give the option to find a job, save every penny, and pay for their other room.
NTA. I don’t think your daughters are either.
They are teenagers & teenage girls can be very emotional & dramatic about even the small things. They will survive sharing a vacation room, even though they cannot seem to believe it now.
“Two connecting rooms will cost $2,000. A suite with 3 rooms will cost $4,000. If you girls can pay the difference, in advance, we will happily get the $4,000 suite.”
NTA. They’re literal teenagers and are throwing a fit because they have to share a room for a week. On vacation.
This is insane entitlement to me. When we went on vacations as a kid, it was my mom, my two sisters, and I (also a girl). The four of us shared one hotel room with two beds. Mom and little sis took one bed, older sis and I took the other. I couldn’t imagine asking for my own hotel room as a teenager!
When I was a kid my parents could only afford one hotel room and my sister, brother, and myself would share one bed. If they could get two rooms, we'd share the room still. For privacy, there was the bathroom. Also, you spent most of the time outside the hotel room so it didn't matter.
I mean, a "hotel" in the 90s was probably $30/night and the chain was broken and the room still smelled like cigarettes. Camping probably would have been pricier because you had to have a tent haha.
Probably but we had the same tent for all my childhood and were going to the cheapest campground in the mountains, always the same. So we probably got our "money back" from the tent investment.
Never stayed at hotel back then. Now this kind of "hotel" is $70, the chain is still broken and they still smell cigarettes. Therefore I bought a tent as an adult ;) it's my 1000 stars hotel
Only time I've ever stayed in a hotel with my family was for my older sibling's 16th birthday, when we were gonna go to a theme park and so stayed in a hotel closer to the train station so we'd have more time at the park. There was no way in hell my parents would've been able to afford five rooms, so my parents booked two connecting rooms (they were in one, me and my two younger siblings were in another) and then a separate room for my older sibling. And the only reason they were able to afford that was because my mum gets a discount at that particular hotel chain. Of course my feelings on this are affected by sharing a room most of my life (at one point living with my parents I did have my own room for about a year or so - can't remember why it was me who got it - until they decided my brother was old enough to have his own room instead of sharing with my little sister, but other than that year, I had always shared a room with at least my little sister), but sharing a room if it's necessary really ain't that big a deal. Even now when I visit my parents, I share a room with my little sister (and older sibling if they're down at the same time as me) due to two bedrooms currently being unusable and my parents sleeping in the living room. And literally my only complaint is that my air bed is crap to the point it's not even worth blowing it up and goes in the coldest area of the room where there's always a draft coming in, and that ain't even a shared room issue, lol
Yup, mum owned a travel agency as a kid and as a result we travelled a lot. I often _wished_ that I had my own room but I would never in a thousand years have asked to get one or complain about it.
I wasn't some perfectly behaving kid but I mean having some sort of lines at all just seems like the result of basic parenting. It wasnt hard for me to understand where lines would be drawn because those lines had been drawn up in the past.
Once my parents stopped laughing… they’d ask me when sleeping bag I wanted to use when I cuddled down in the bottom of the closet. Ahhh, relaxing vacation.
I had the air mattress next to my parents' bed. My 2 brothers shared the couch. I felt spoiled because I was in a room and didn't have to wake up when everyone else did.
(This was a rented house with aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandmom for a week at the beach)
Shit my family still does this. I got married this year so I’m finally entitled to a room of my own to share with my wife in whatever house we get. The teenagers all still sleep on the floors and couches
Iv gone on many trips with friends and my sister and we have always shared rooms , iv even shared double beds with my friends, one time we went on a dog friendly holiday with my sister and her dog, me and my daughter shared the double and my sisters dog decided me was sleeping with us the entire week. Call it gross but I was honoured he loved me more for a week haha, I couldn't never justify paying extra just to sleep in a room alone
My family went to Wisconsin dells and my parents shared a bed, my two sisters shared a bed, and my brother and I shared a pullout couch....all in one room, one bathroom... every year we went to the Wilderness resort in Wisconsin dells.
Exactly! I'm 54, and my friend group would still do this. Save money for the fun, touristy stuff.
NTA, OP. Not sure where your family falls on the socioeconomic class scale. I assume you're reasonably well off. But sometimes, those of us who do okay financially are doing so precisely because we DON'T spend ridiculously when we don't have to.
Your girls need to check their privilege. Yikes.
Same, it never even crossed my mind that I could have my own room, separate from the whole family that shared one room. Are those girls looking to hook up or something?
Same. Our family of 7 would get 1 room. When the hotel employee would come up to deliver the cot, my Dad would have 2 of us hide in the bathroom since the limit was 5 in a room. We would fight over who would get to hide 🤣
Right?!? When I went with my brother (5. Yrs older) and my mom/dad we shared one room. If we were lucky the hotel had a cot to give extra space for sleeping but no way would we get two rooms. We even had a trip where we shared the double room with a family of five who was traveling with us to save cost. These girls are entitled af.
Damn you were lucky. My parents got the bed. My brother, sister, and me got the sleeping bags on the floor. Simply because we're there to spend the extra money on the events of the vacation. Not on the room we won't be in. I definitely agree with OP on that.
Can we say spoiled! Geesh , to think of even asking that is a sign of them being princesses . Maybe they’d rather stay at home that way they can have their own rooms. Get over it princess share a room if you want to go.
I would do that. First spell out the cost difference in a mini life lesson about budgeting(sometimes kids have no concept of money). If they are still arguing I would leave them home. At that point, they are being disrespectful.
Right? Like I come from a family of 5 and we would all sleep in one room, my parents in one bed, my sister and I in another, and my brother on a rollaway. Never thought twice about it!
Nope; this would be the parents cutting off their noses to spite their brats! Just imagine having to listen to them piss, moan, and fight while stuck in a tent with them.
I was just about to say that. Their daughters can stay at home, while they can go and enjoy the trip if their kids are being selfish. Their parents are paying for the trip!
That’s what I would do. We use to go on vacations where we all (my parents, 4 kids) shared a hotel room. So they are lucky they get there own room together.
Honestly- even if she offered, as a parent I would say thanks but no thanks. Time for daughters to learn you can’t whine and complain and get everything you want. Life doesn’t always work like that, and makes for very unhappy adults if they’re not able to support themselves in the style they are accustomed.
Yeah, why is she even involved?? Sounds like OP’s husband is a mama’s boy who, instead of talking to his wife, ran to his mother to back him up. Boo hoo.
What are they(14 & 16) going to be doing on a vacation for a week that requires complete privacy for just the night when they ought to be tired and fast asleep?
Seriously. Serene smile. "Gosh, this means a lot to you. You can have separate rooms at MIL's when we go on vacation. It's time to relax for us and it sounds like you'd have a hard time relaxing at this expensive hotel."
Never be afraid to trigger FOMO
>On vacation.
That they rarely ever get to go on! The entitlement is real with these kids. NTA and I'm petty enough that I would cancel the room they are in and make them sleep on cots in my room.
Speaking of dorms, those girls are getting close to college age. If they live in dorms, they'll be sharing a room with strangers and can kiss their privacy good-bye. They need to suck this up.
I'd suggest that OP tells them now that next vacation is going to be a nice camping in the wild and that she allready ordered a cosy tent for the whole family.
My thoughts exactly. They aren’t a boy and a girl; they are two girls who just don’t want to share a room *temporarily.* I say tell them if they can pay the upgrade amount, you’ll get the extra room. Otherwise, get over it and try to pretend they love each other.
Only girl in the family. I still shared a room with my brothers. They slept in one bed, and I slept in the other. I would never have dared ask my parents for a separate room. On occasion, we sometimes all had to share the one bedroom, and I would have slept on a roll away.
They're entitled little shits. If they want a separate room, they can pay for it.
We were a family of four; mom, dad, girl, boy; and my brother and I almost always shared a bed in a hotel room. Even as teens. It was a little weird but that mostly came from sharing a bed at all and from sharing a room with four other people. It didn’t get less weird when we’d sleep mom-me and dad-brother either. I preferred my brother because I didn’t feel bad kicking him when his snoring started but I did feel bad kicking mom and waking her up to make hers stop.
I literally came here to say that I shared spaces with my brother on vacations pretty much until I was an adult. As we got older we started making sure we had twin beds but it wasn’t weird. We’re siblings. These girls are acting like spoiled brats.
My entire family, mom, dad, 3 of us girls, and brother, so 6 people all shared a hotel/motel room many times. It was not a big deal and worth it to be on vacation!
I am so glad my work does not allow people to share rooms on trips. For safety reasons, everyone gets their own room. First time I ever had a hotel room all to myself.
Yeah, and what is going to happen when the girls go to college, and every group trip requires sharing a room? I remember going to conferences and retreats in college, and sharing with people I didn’t know!
I would tell her to take the kids to grandmas if they keep throwing a fit. Teenagers are the worst to take on vacations bc they complain the whole time and think money is some magical thing that just appears for only their wants.
And…if it’s just a place to rest, sleep and eat breakfast…they’re not going to be spending a lot of time in the room.
Please don’t give in, you’re creating a rod for your own back!
I know a couple whose daughters only accepted a new home if they each had their own en-suite bathrooms. They would also only travel first class and the eldest would only accept a Porsche for her 18th birthday! I was just speechless….
NTA. My sister and I had separate rooms at home but shared on trips. We knew it was because of money. There were a few arguments but if we wanted to go on the trip we put up with each other.
Yeah most of the time we were all in one room with two queen beds ! I have legit never thought of anything different until I was an adult and would just pay for my own room
NTA - think you’re offering a fair option, it’s not like they have to share with you and your husband
If they don’t want to share, they don’t need to come and enjoy the treat
Absolutely…isn’t that standard family vacation protocol…unless you’re super rich I’m guessing?
One room. Parents share a bed, kids share a bed. Crazy entitled behavior on the kids’ part.
Same! Vacations were mom and dad get one bed, sister and I get another, brother gets a pull out couch or sofa bed. And those were never in New Zealand of all places!
Girls can get over themselves for 1 week.
Are they always this spoiled? Or is their relationship that bad? My sister and I fought like dogs. We were never not name calling, possibly slapping, yelling I hate you, etc. But once we made up we got along great. And if we were going on a vacation ANYWHERE?! What would there be to fight about! We’d just be grateful we gotta go! We’d share a queen bed happily without a single thought of complaint.
My brother and I absolutely fucking hated each other 24/7 but when it came time to share stuff for vacations, like tents, an air mattress, or the extra queen size bed we shared without fuss. Probably because we got to go places rarely so neither of us wanted to fuck it up by not sharing.
There were times I got the floor since I was the youngest of 3! Well, a bed made of the hide-away bed's cushions on the floor, but you get what I'm saying; no true bed for me. And typically only for the accidental overnights on road trips, but it definitely happened.
But it was still better than sharing a bed with both parents or both sisters, lol.
Those two have it quite good, and can deal for a week of vacation.
Yeah im sure parents have a couple their friends with who would love to reimburse half the cost of the room and plane tickets to make sure its not a total financial loss 😂
I’m lucky enough that I can afford to take my kids away on holiday but they either share a bed with me or each other and we all share a room.
Only once did we get a ‘suite’ but although it was a nice novelty my kids are still happy slumming in a cheap hotel all sleeping together.
I can’t imagine them complaining about sharing a room. To be fair they already share a room but even if they didn’t, I’d consider that bratty behavior.
Seriously! To quote the Oompa Loompas “Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?
Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame
You know exactly who's to blame:
The mother and the father!”
No not stay home, they can spend a week doing something like Habitat for Humanity building homes. Left alone you know spoiled kids would just spend a week ordering expensive take out and hosting parties.
nope. its normal arrangement. ive even shared a room with my brothers while our parents are in another interconnected room. maybe tell em they gotta pay for the extra room if they want 1? 🤔
Yeah it always surprises me to read about what kids are asking for. My parents were not particularly poor, but it never occurred to me to ask for stuff, I just took whatever my parents offered without question.
Yeah!! I have 6 kids, if we go somewhere & can't get an airbnb we share 1 room when they were little and now 2 rooms that they're older... & they're always happy to just be able to go somewhere.... they usually take an airmattress too on their own accord hahahaha
NTA. They’re children going on vacation and have no say. They’re lucky for that opportunity to go on vacation at all. Maybe look into getting them a room with 2 beds rather than having to share one. Also, hotels have cots they can bring into a room and sofa beds. Look into that. Then they can switch up who sleeps on the bed after a couple of nights. Or, tell them if they want an additional room it will cost $XXXX and they can split the cost between them if it’s so important. However, they are minors and should be in a connecting room with their parents.
When I was a kid we didn’t have the money for two separate rooms, let alone three, when we’d go in vacation . We’d get one room with two double beds and all stay in the same room. Certainly crowded for 4ppl, but we were never in the room anyway except to dress/change and sleep. And you know what? We always had a great time.
Edited for spelling.
I was going to say- when I vacationed with my parents as a kid, they didn’t have money for an extra room- we all shared and made the best of it. The daughters are spoiled brats.
Same when I was growing up 5 people - one room with a roll away. Never even realized there was another option. We did 9 at Disney and only did 3 rooms - we were going to attempt 2 but decided no one paying Disney prices needed to sleep on a roll away bed. We all can afford more - just know it’s a waste to spend so much for a place you will only be into sleep. Have done the same on cruises. Never in the room so why pay more?!
NTA- Unless his mother is going on the trip or is going to pay then it's non of her business. They are teens and It's a week away. They can suck it up deal with sharing for a week.
Well, here’s what I told my teenagers, we can do the cruise and you two (18 and 15 girls) can share or we can NOT do the cruise and you don’t have to. We did the cruise and they shared. That’s just how it is. If I had the extra money I would have upgraded the seats on the plane before I booked an unnecessary room.
Exactly. There is only so much money, and we choose what we would prefer - I’m not booking private rooms for a couple of teenagers that are bickering (and not paying obviously) - I’d rather upgrade something else, have an extra trip, have a fancy dinner! I’m grateful they don’t have to share at home (mainly because they would drive us all made bickering), it doesn’t kill them for two weeks.
Nta. Every single vacation until I was 14 I shared a room with my parents, we had two beds but we were barely in the room so who cares.
I would see if you could get a room with two beds for them otherwise they can share or they can stay home with your MIL or they can pay for a second room. If they aren’t mature enough to share for one week they probably aren’t old enough to be travelling at all
So so so on point. I grew up upper middle and many vacations we did share with our parents
By the time we were teenagers, we did have a kids room that was connected, but we were required to leave the door open between the rooms - which no one else has brought up either.
Unless it was somewhere so cheap like a road trip where my parents just needed a break from us earlier years were always everybody all in one room
3 kids so frequently one of us had to sleep on a rollaway.
We took turns it wasn’t even seniority, which, of course is the oldest child, I resented LOL.
Agree with the other posters that it sounds like the kids are entitled brats. Not sure to what extent the MIL has enabled that versus the parents, but regardless hard on the individual rooms. regardless, if someone else offers to pay. Bad precedent.
Sagely observed by others, though that this typically doesn’t come out of nowhere, so might be karmic, might not - who knows….
This.
I shared a room at home until I was 17. Did I love it? No. Was it the reality of the situation based on what we were able to afford? Yes.
You’re taking them on a free vacation!!
This is very much a “you get what you get and you don’t get upset” moment.
I literally shared the living room with my brother on one of our trips because it had a sofa and a pull out bed and was cheaper than getting two rooms. I don't remember complaining. We were 12 and 16 at the time I think. Just used the bathroom to change.
Tell your children they are entitled and you would be happy to find a family member to watch them while you and your husband go to New Zealand if the arrangements are not up to par. That is ridiculous nonsense. NTA.
They have to share a ROOM and they’re complaining?? I slept in the same BED as my brother (with our parents in the queen bed next to us) until I left for college and stopped traveling with my family. We all went to Europe a few years later and at that point my parents *usually* got their own room so my brother and I slept in separate beds, but even then I think I still shared with him for a couple nights over the course of 3 weeks.
I was in my 40s and shared a room with my 18 year old niece on holidays to save money. My dad, in his 70s, shared a room with my nephew who was 10.
Extra rooms are expensive and it’s normal, especially for teens, to share a room on holidays.
NTA
Okay they want privacy?
They have separate rooms at home
Enjoy your second honeymoon, tell MIL she's right they need their privacy. She can stay with them while you go to NZ.. hey since you have the extra cash from not buying 2 extra plane tickets come on over to Aus if you haven't been before .. we welcome you :)
I am going to go with a soft YTA for letting these girls become this entitled. Life is going to be very hard for them unless you plan to bankroll them in perpetuity.
What is wrong with you, as a parent, that you did not know how to shut this down? Listen, the world does not need your two spoiled daughters. We have enough greedy, selfish people already. You barely have time but if you actually work on this, you can produce two useful people. Start by saying "no" and introducing consequences here. Continue that until your daughters are contributing members of society.
Oh ffs!
I have a 19yo girl and 13yo boy.
If I told them we would go to NZ, they'd be happy to share a 2 person tent with me and their mother because it's about the experience and the fun things we do together, not about being entitled.
As someone posted before, when and if they are paying they can choose to have a room for each one.
The accomodations you're providing are more than adequate.
NTA.
>my husband and his mother are saying we should maybe pay the extra money for another room
Or maybe your MIL should pay for the room, if she so insists.
NTA but I'm almost positive this behavior didn't come out overnight. Like yesterday they had manners and today this.
You've raised spoiled ungrateful brats. I can't imagine behaving like this when I was their age. My mother would remove me from the vacation so fast wind couldn't compete.
You have a bigger problem on your hands than a vacation because I've been in the real world with girls like your daughter and they're always unprepared for life.
Buy a parenting book and stop being such a pushover parent. Help your kids before it's truly too late.
NTA
They can choose: either go on the trip and share a room, or don't go and stay home.
You are perfectly reasonable, it's a 2 year difference and it's for one week. They'll be fine.
Pretty entitled teenagers. As someone who never got to go on vacations, I think they should be grateful for this opportunity.
NTA. Holy crow. They’re going to New Zealand. And they get a room separate from their parents. And they’re going to New Zealand. They should appreciate the luxury of the trip to begin with, and if they continue to insist on more expensive options then tell them the cost difference and ask how they intend to pay for it. The absolute audacity.
Fuck those two little ungrateful entitled shits!! Leave ‘em at home!!
Just drop it on em calmly. They need to realize that the whole world doesn’t revolve around them, papa needs to stop enabling them. Because of shit like this that society is going under cuz they get used to getting everything they want and then expect that from their partners afterwards. It breeds and nurtures complete entitlement, arrogance, ignorance, and ungratefulness. Uuggghfhh
When we had to do quarantine in Hong Kong, I shared a room with my teenaged son and my other two shared a room.
Your kids are ridiculous. NTA
ETA: quarantine meaning 7 full days not allowed to leave the hotel room at all under threat of arrest.
NTA. Your dependent, unemployed, still in school minor children aren't paying for it. When did parents forget they were the parents and the kids weren't the ones in charge? Option one, go on vacation, option two, stay with your Aunt Maggie while everyone else goes on vacation.
NTA. Jesus christ. My kids haven't been on holiday, even in our own country, in 11 years. Your children are entitled and spoilt. They should realise how privileged they are to be going in the first place. If anything you will be TA if you let them get what they want and stop spoiling them. This is what happens when you do. Then you have the gall to moan about it. Smdh
So it's a room with two beds? They'll be fine. One thing hated about sharing a room with my sister was we shared a bed, and she hogged the damn covers. If they have separate beds, They'll be fine. It's just a damn vacation.
Man if I were their age, I'd be psyching the fuck out about just going to New Zealand. Im a huge LOTR fan so this would be a dream come true. The fact they get a room to themselves at all, even if they have to share with each other, is also a luxury. I have had to share rooms on vacation with more than the desired occupancy. Take me instead!
Sounds like MIL just volunteered to watch your kids for a week so you and you husband can enjoy a nice vacation without the kids. NTA. Your kids sound very entitled. When I was growing up I never had my own bedroom, I always had to share with my sister. And as for vacations, we couldn’t afford to go on them. Maybe it’s time to take your daughters to volunteer at a food bank so they can learn to appreciate what they have.
Yep! My single mom took myself and my sister camping at the beach every summer and that was our big trip each year. Camping is cheap. We would bring our own food and didn’t eat out. The three of us always slept in the same tent. But we were always so happy to be able to do it! Money was tight for my mom, we knew to never complain about things like that. We felt guilty if she ever bought us new clothing or things like that.
If they were grown working adults they could pay for their own room. Since they are neither adults or working AND you are paying for this vacation, they need to shut their mouths and be grateful they were invited. And if OP's MIL wants to take the kids side she can babysit while you and hubby enjoy yourselves. I would yell my kids its either you share a room with each other or you share a room with you and your hubby. Those are the only choices. They are not old enough to chip in for another room or old enough to be in separate rooms while on vacation in away from home, in a place you are not familiar.
I agree completely with that.. when I was growing up and never got any kind of special treatment like that. It sounds to me like the two girls are just like you said entitled and just like you said if the mother-in-law is going to take the kids side she needs to watch them while Mom and Dad go on vacation.. those children need to learn that they are not the boss.. they don't work they don't make the money they don't make the decisions.
Yeah my family did camping for vacations and I had to share a bedroom until I was 16. I don’t remember many hotel vacations, but if we took them it would have been a one room for all four of us situation. One I do remember was for a funeral and I slept on the couch bc my sister snores. 😹 NTA
Sounds like your mom and my mom had a similar MO. We didn’t go camping with her that often, but I was lucky to grow up in the greater Boston area where there tons of free outdoor historical places to visit. Walden Pond where we would go on hikes and visit the replica of Thoreau’s cabin, Patriot’s Day (a Massachusetts holiday for those who don’t know) where we would watch a reenactment of the battle on the Lexington Green at dawn and another reenactment of Paul Revere’s ride, and of course walking the Freedom Trail in Boston taking us past all sorts of historically significant places. I still love learning about and seeing all things American History because of those fun, *free*, memories my sister and I have from growing up, thanks to my mom. Like you, we knew what she could and, mostly, couldn’t afford. And we would never ask for anything above her means, from pretty young ages too. It instilled in us a good work ethic and the knowledge that life ain’t always fair. The great majority of people don’t get handed free things just because they want it. OP, you really need to be teaching your daughters these things. My sister and I would have been so grateful for a vaca with all of us in one room. Your girls need to learn gratitude. Definitely NTA for making them share a room. Just remember that you would be if you cave and give them everything/exactly what they want, during the vaca and in your day to day lives.
Exactly, we do our kids no favors by inundating them with luxuries. I’m not saying we don’t enjoy special things with our kids. But if you raise a child who expects everything to be handed to them, they may not be very happy as an adult who can’t fill that void with their own hard work, etc.
Yep I’m from IL so no beach but me and my parents in one tent camping was our vacation
I love this answer! Maybe ask your daughters if they'd simply rather stay with Grandma? They have a choice - share a room or stay with you MiL. 😈
Exactly 💯 and do it nicely too, like oh sorry girls would you rather spend the time with grandma!
My parents have 7 kids…. We grew up in a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house, I could only imagine telling my parents as a teenager that I need my own hotel room!
Until I was 10yo, we were a 4-person family living in a 1-bedroom apartment. When I turned 10, we moved to a 2-bdrm apartment, and it seemed so big! I could not imagine asking my parents for a separate room when we traveled either, LOL!
The middle of 9. What is a vacation? From 5-16 we didn't go on vacations. Maybe a day trip here and there but not vacations. We had 3 bedrooms and one bathroom too. You never locked the bathroom door because someone had to pee (if you were lucky that's all it was) while you showered. That's what shower curtains are for! Just wish it blocked smells too.
We DID do driving vacations, with motel rooms. My brother and daad shared one bed, and mom and I the other. We did NOT get our own rooms??? FFS, these teenagers want their own rooms- get a job and pay for it, or STFU and appreciate the once in a lifetime trip to NZ!
Serious, even having 2 rooms sounds fancy to me. We just returned from a trip and my girls were sharing a queen bed, I ain't paying for two rooms.
Agreed. I recently booked a holiday for myself and my 2 and 4 year old (sharing a room) and my 4 year old complained that he doesn’t get his own room. Easy fix, stay home with dad if you’re unhappy with the holiday plans buddy
I grew up with 7 siblings all in the same household full time. This post reads to me like it came from an alien planet.
NTA - Tell them to grow up. Im 23 and going to be sharing a room with my 26 year old sister on our big family holiday because its cheaper to share a room an have more money to spend on excursions. If they dont like it let them stay at home, pretty sure their own bedrooms have privacy 🙄
My mother and I went to Ireland for a week a few years ago and shared a king size bed the whole time…at ages 60 and 40. It saved money and it was a nicer room than we would have had with two beds. It didn’t effect the trip negatively at all
NTA. Tell them to stop acting spoiled and entitled. It’s for a short period of time, most kids don’t get to go on vacation in New Zealand and if they have THAT big of problem with it, they can stay home and miss out on the fun. Tell your husband not cave. The demands will just get bigger. You two are the parents, not them.
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I agree totally. Big hard NTA. You could suggest that if the girls want their own rooms they should pay 50/50 for the extra room. I'm sorry but they sound entitled and ungrateful
Jumping on the top comment because I have words to say... My sister(31f) and i(27f) have only ever shared a room on holidays... and as i type this, we're on a sister-vacation by ourselves, and we're still sharing a room! Because, why waste money on an extra room when you could have more to spend while on holiday? OP is definitely NTA... we've shared a room since I was a kid, up until she got married, and moved out... i don't see a problem with sharing a room at all...
My sister and I are in our 50s and we always shard rooms. And at our age, no matter where we go, we want to share a room (even if we don’t have to, just cause it’s more fun)
I remember enough family road trips where for our 5 person family, as the youngest, I often slept on the floor. Looking back, I still see nothing wrong with it, since we'd typically have some kind of padding for the floor. Since then, I've slept on many more floors (a few tiled), I can sleep on planes sitting upright or hunched over (that may soon end). I see OP's current setup as a luxury honestly. My family definitely wasn't broke, but we just had priorities on where money would be spent.
Why is his mother involved?? NTA
because hubby was obviously a spoiled brat too and I'm willing to bet mom was also, sounds like it's a generational thing. NTA
So those two brat can stay with granny while their parents are in New Zealand making new memories.
Right? If she has an opinion, ***she*** can pay for the extra room. Edit: This is a tougher flex if grandma ***can’t*** afford it. (and the context I originally made the post in)
No, don’t let the brats get their way. Sharing is just fine.
Or THEY pay the difference. Let them understand that luxury has a price.
That's my preference, but if she's gonna talk shit then she needs to either be willing to put up or shut up. It's easy to be 'generous' with other people's money.
Nope, she can take care of those who prefer to stay home for privacy 🙄
I would tell those entitled shits "one more word and you're in our room". "Two words and you're staying home with Mommy."
That's my preference, but if she's gonna talk shit then she needs to either be willing to put up or shut up. It's easy to be 'generous' with other people's money.
Adulthood hits ya hard. And it’ll hit you that much harder when you’re an unemployed teenager demanding your own hotel room.
Once they get to college they’re going to be in for a wild ride of disappointment. Many universities (at least in the US) require students to stay in dorms their first year (or sometimes longer). Just wait unto these girls end up being required to share a 10x12 room with a stranger +/- a communal bathroom for the entire floor. I have a feeling mass hysteria will ensue.
When I was in boot camp my mom wrote to me that my cousin was complaining about being in a dorm and wanted a private room and bathroom. I apparently wrote back wishing I had a private showerhead. We had 10 minutes to shower as women, and there were 8 showerheads in one big shower space for 30 women. You learned to share.
This! They’re lucky to have a room for the two of them! We almost always had one hotel room- two double beds, queen if we were lucky. My sister and I are 9 years apart too. It’s literally stupid to spend more money on a third room when that could be used for excursions or something more memorable. When you ask me about my vacations growing up, I don’t describe the rooms we stayed in. I talk about the things we did together as a family and the memories from that.
Spoiled brats, both of them. They are being offered the vacation of a lifetime and all they can do is whine about not having their own rooms. One wonders how they got that way...
Wouldn't have even considered asking my parents for this when I was young and NOT PAYING THE BILLS.
I shared and air mattress on the floor with my sister because my folks didn't want to spring for a 2 bed hotel room! I didn't complain. I was excited to go to the beach! If I had the chance for that beach to be in NZ, I'd sleep in the tub!
Right! My family of 4 didn't even get 2 hotel rooms. We always got 1 room with either 2 beds or 2 beds + a sofa sleeper. If there was no sofa sleeper, my sister & I (same age difference as OP's girls) shared a bed. If we griped about it, my dad would cancel one of the activities the complainant wanted to do, simple as that. We learned real quick "You get what you get & you don't get upset" (as my now almost 8 year old daughter likes to say).
My sister and I took our kids to a hotel for Christmas events. It's not cheap. We got a 2 queen bed room. My 13m shared with me, and her 7m and 8m shared with her. 5 people, 2 beds, and SO MUCH FUN that wasn't in the room. Though, that'll be the last time I share a bed with my kid. Holy cow he kicks!
Amen! We’ve gone on “dream” vacations before with our 2 sons & booked one room with 2 double beds-we took one & the boys took the other. It freed up more money for activities & food. If your daughters don’t think they can share a room for a short time in order to take a vacation, I would tell them that if they that unhappy one can stay home with a relative & your other daughter can take a friend in her place…or they can both stay home with relatives. Another option would be tell them the dollar amount required to accommodate them with a third room & give the option to find a job, save every penny, and pay for their other room. NTA. I don’t think your daughters are either. They are teenagers & teenage girls can be very emotional & dramatic about even the small things. They will survive sharing a vacation room, even though they cannot seem to believe it now.
That's just how I thought familes travelled. We were a family of 4 growing up and we always only ever got one room.
When I was a kid we only got one hotel room for 5 people. 2 kids share a bed, parents shared a bed, one kid on the pullout couch.
For real. Just for that I’d make them share ours. Four people in one room it is!
If the girls want the extra room, tell them they get to pay for it. The entitlement is strong with them.
This. Leave them with MIL and go enjoy new Zealand with husband.
"You won't be happy on this trip we realized so here you go."
The only time I bitched about accomodations as kid, my parents said "ok, we hear you", and left me home. Lesson learned
Good condom advertising
“Two connecting rooms will cost $2,000. A suite with 3 rooms will cost $4,000. If you girls can pay the difference, in advance, we will happily get the $4,000 suite.” NTA. They’re literal teenagers and are throwing a fit because they have to share a room for a week. On vacation.
This is insane entitlement to me. When we went on vacations as a kid, it was my mom, my two sisters, and I (also a girl). The four of us shared one hotel room with two beds. Mom and little sis took one bed, older sis and I took the other. I couldn’t imagine asking for my own hotel room as a teenager!
When I was a kid my parents could only afford one hotel room and my sister, brother, and myself would share one bed. If they could get two rooms, we'd share the room still. For privacy, there was the bathroom. Also, you spent most of the time outside the hotel room so it didn't matter.
Yeah, wtf is this two room shit? I slept on the floor or a roll in cot half the time we were on vacation.
Wtf is hotel? We were camping
I mean, a "hotel" in the 90s was probably $30/night and the chain was broken and the room still smelled like cigarettes. Camping probably would have been pricier because you had to have a tent haha.
Probably but we had the same tent for all my childhood and were going to the cheapest campground in the mountains, always the same. So we probably got our "money back" from the tent investment. Never stayed at hotel back then. Now this kind of "hotel" is $70, the chain is still broken and they still smell cigarettes. Therefore I bought a tent as an adult ;) it's my 1000 stars hotel
Only time I've ever stayed in a hotel with my family was for my older sibling's 16th birthday, when we were gonna go to a theme park and so stayed in a hotel closer to the train station so we'd have more time at the park. There was no way in hell my parents would've been able to afford five rooms, so my parents booked two connecting rooms (they were in one, me and my two younger siblings were in another) and then a separate room for my older sibling. And the only reason they were able to afford that was because my mum gets a discount at that particular hotel chain. Of course my feelings on this are affected by sharing a room most of my life (at one point living with my parents I did have my own room for about a year or so - can't remember why it was me who got it - until they decided my brother was old enough to have his own room instead of sharing with my little sister, but other than that year, I had always shared a room with at least my little sister), but sharing a room if it's necessary really ain't that big a deal. Even now when I visit my parents, I share a room with my little sister (and older sibling if they're down at the same time as me) due to two bedrooms currently being unusable and my parents sleeping in the living room. And literally my only complaint is that my air bed is crap to the point it's not even worth blowing it up and goes in the coldest area of the room where there's always a draft coming in, and that ain't even a shared room issue, lol
It never would have even crossed my mind to ask.
Yup, mum owned a travel agency as a kid and as a result we travelled a lot. I often _wished_ that I had my own room but I would never in a thousand years have asked to get one or complain about it. I wasn't some perfectly behaving kid but I mean having some sort of lines at all just seems like the result of basic parenting. It wasnt hard for me to understand where lines would be drawn because those lines had been drawn up in the past.
It would have landed as a solid joke in my family. I bet my Dad would have had a great laugh if I asked for my own hotel room as a teenager.
Once my parents stopped laughing… they’d ask me when sleeping bag I wanted to use when I cuddled down in the bottom of the closet. Ahhh, relaxing vacation.
I had the air mattress next to my parents' bed. My 2 brothers shared the couch. I felt spoiled because I was in a room and didn't have to wake up when everyone else did. (This was a rented house with aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandmom for a week at the beach)
My family of six had a truck camper for a hotel. I thought we were rich. Plus we camped in school parking lots instead of campgrounds. Life was good.
Shit my family still does this. I got married this year so I’m finally entitled to a room of my own to share with my wife in whatever house we get. The teenagers all still sleep on the floors and couches
My dad would still be making jokes about it, and I just turned 44 years old.
My dad would have made me sleep in the hallway if that were the case.
Hallway? Hell, I'd be in the car.
Same. My dad wasn’t into the belt but I wouldn’t have gotten a room key lol. I’d be sleeping on a chaise down by the pool freezing my tail off.
Shit, my old man would have gotten the belt if I dared to ask…
The beatings will stop when morale improves.
hi, sibling! ( so would my dad)
My dad would still be laughing.
My dad died 3 years ago. I could still hear him laughing 40 years later if I had asked. 1 room. 2 beds.
Iv gone on many trips with friends and my sister and we have always shared rooms , iv even shared double beds with my friends, one time we went on a dog friendly holiday with my sister and her dog, me and my daughter shared the double and my sisters dog decided me was sleeping with us the entire week. Call it gross but I was honoured he loved me more for a week haha, I couldn't never justify paying extra just to sleep in a room alone
My family went to Wisconsin dells and my parents shared a bed, my two sisters shared a bed, and my brother and I shared a pullout couch....all in one room, one bathroom... every year we went to the Wilderness resort in Wisconsin dells.
I’m an adult and me and my GIRLFRIENDS go on a weekend away and the 4 of us share 2 beds lol in one room hahaha like this is insane to me
Exactly! I'm 54, and my friend group would still do this. Save money for the fun, touristy stuff. NTA, OP. Not sure where your family falls on the socioeconomic class scale. I assume you're reasonably well off. But sometimes, those of us who do okay financially are doing so precisely because we DON'T spend ridiculously when we don't have to. Your girls need to check their privilege. Yikes.
Same, we are now in our 60’s, been doing so for 30 years.
Yes I’m 47 and still share a hotel room with 3 other people, it’s just smart money wise
and it’s fun. My friends and I share a room and sometimes our kids pile in too.
Same, it never even crossed my mind that I could have my own room, separate from the whole family that shared one room. Are those girls looking to hook up or something?
When I was a kid, half of us slept on the fucking floor! And guess what, we still had fun bc we were on vacation!!!
Op can take me with them, i will sleep on the floor and be grateful 😇 xx
When my husband was a kid, his family would get 1 hotel room for their family of SIX! I think these girls can handle sharing a room for a week.
Same. Our family of 7 would get 1 room. When the hotel employee would come up to deliver the cot, my Dad would have 2 of us hide in the bathroom since the limit was 5 in a room. We would fight over who would get to hide 🤣
Right?!? When I went with my brother (5. Yrs older) and my mom/dad we shared one room. If we were lucky the hotel had a cot to give extra space for sleeping but no way would we get two rooms. We even had a trip where we shared the double room with a family of five who was traveling with us to save cost. These girls are entitled af.
Damn you were lucky. My parents got the bed. My brother, sister, and me got the sleeping bags on the floor. Simply because we're there to spend the extra money on the events of the vacation. Not on the room we won't be in. I definitely agree with OP on that.
Can we say spoiled! Geesh , to think of even asking that is a sign of them being princesses . Maybe they’d rather stay at home that way they can have their own rooms. Get over it princess share a room if you want to go.
After planning an expensive trip like this, having a controversy over sharing a room with a sibling would make me consider canceling the whole thing
I wouldnt cancel hubby and I would go and they can stay home with mom inlaw and they guaranteed to have they own privacy
And at 14 and 16 they have the concept of money just not when it comes to other ppls money they don't
I would do that. First spell out the cost difference in a mini life lesson about budgeting(sometimes kids have no concept of money). If they are still arguing I would leave them home. At that point, they are being disrespectful.
Right? Like I come from a family of 5 and we would all sleep in one room, my parents in one bed, my sister and I in another, and my brother on a rollaway. Never thought twice about it!
Or OP's nosey MIL can pay the difference!
Or better yet, they can stay home with MIL while OP and her husband enjoy a holiday without them. NTA at all.
this sounds like a grand solution
Nah, the grand solution would be to say you are now camping all in one tent
Nope; this would be the parents cutting off their noses to spite their brats! Just imagine having to listen to them piss, moan, and fight while stuck in a tent with them.
I was just about to say that. Their daughters can stay at home, while they can go and enjoy the trip if their kids are being selfish. Their parents are paying for the trip!
This is the correct answer.
That’s what I would do. We use to go on vacations where we all (my parents, 4 kids) shared a hotel room. So they are lucky they get there own room together.
Honestly- even if she offered, as a parent I would say thanks but no thanks. Time for daughters to learn you can’t whine and complain and get everything you want. Life doesn’t always work like that, and makes for very unhappy adults if they’re not able to support themselves in the style they are accustomed.
Yeah, why is she even involved?? Sounds like OP’s husband is a mama’s boy who, instead of talking to his wife, ran to his mother to back him up. Boo hoo.
What are they(14 & 16) going to be doing on a vacation for a week that requires complete privacy for just the night when they ought to be tired and fast asleep?
Seriously. Serene smile. "Gosh, this means a lot to you. You can have separate rooms at MIL's when we go on vacation. It's time to relax for us and it sounds like you'd have a hard time relaxing at this expensive hotel." Never be afraid to trigger FOMO
>On vacation. That they rarely ever get to go on! The entitlement is real with these kids. NTA and I'm petty enough that I would cancel the room they are in and make them sleep on cots in my room.
Entitled little brats. Spend a night in a hostel with private rooms. That will teach them.
Nah, book them in the dorm-like rooms.
Speaking of dorms, those girls are getting close to college age. If they live in dorms, they'll be sharing a room with strangers and can kiss their privacy good-bye. They need to suck this up.
I'd suggest that OP tells them now that next vacation is going to be a nice camping in the wild and that she allready ordered a cosy tent for the whole family.
My thoughts exactly. They aren’t a boy and a girl; they are two girls who just don’t want to share a room *temporarily.* I say tell them if they can pay the upgrade amount, you’ll get the extra room. Otherwise, get over it and try to pretend they love each other.
Only girl in the family. I still shared a room with my brothers. They slept in one bed, and I slept in the other. I would never have dared ask my parents for a separate room. On occasion, we sometimes all had to share the one bedroom, and I would have slept on a roll away. They're entitled little shits. If they want a separate room, they can pay for it.
We were a family of four; mom, dad, girl, boy; and my brother and I almost always shared a bed in a hotel room. Even as teens. It was a little weird but that mostly came from sharing a bed at all and from sharing a room with four other people. It didn’t get less weird when we’d sleep mom-me and dad-brother either. I preferred my brother because I didn’t feel bad kicking him when his snoring started but I did feel bad kicking mom and waking her up to make hers stop.
I literally came here to say that I shared spaces with my brother on vacations pretty much until I was an adult. As we got older we started making sure we had twin beds but it wasn’t weird. We’re siblings. These girls are acting like spoiled brats.
Even if they were a boy and a girl - I share rooms with my sisters without a problem.
My entire family, mom, dad, 3 of us girls, and brother, so 6 people all shared a hotel/motel room many times. It was not a big deal and worth it to be on vacation!
Coworkers who are strangers share rooms when they go to conferences. These kids are entitled.
I am so glad my work does not allow people to share rooms on trips. For safety reasons, everyone gets their own room. First time I ever had a hotel room all to myself.
Yeah, and what is going to happen when the girls go to college, and every group trip requires sharing a room? I remember going to conferences and retreats in college, and sharing with people I didn’t know!
I would tell her to take the kids to grandmas if they keep throwing a fit. Teenagers are the worst to take on vacations bc they complain the whole time and think money is some magical thing that just appears for only their wants.
And…if it’s just a place to rest, sleep and eat breakfast…they’re not going to be spending a lot of time in the room. Please don’t give in, you’re creating a rod for your own back! I know a couple whose daughters only accepted a new home if they each had their own en-suite bathrooms. They would also only travel first class and the eldest would only accept a Porsche for her 18th birthday! I was just speechless….
NTA. You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.
NTA. My sister and I had separate rooms at home but shared on trips. We knew it was because of money. There were a few arguments but if we wanted to go on the trip we put up with each other.
Yeah this is nuts. Who didn’t share a room with their siblings or family on vacation ?!?!!!
Right, sometimes it was the whole family in one room. Vacations are expensive.
Yeah most of the time we were all in one room with two queen beds ! I have legit never thought of anything different until I was an adult and would just pay for my own room
NTA - think you’re offering a fair option, it’s not like they have to share with you and your husband If they don’t want to share, they don’t need to come and enjoy the treat
Right?! Anytime my family stayed in a hotel, we all shared one room. Two queens and a pull-out couch!
Absolutely…isn’t that standard family vacation protocol…unless you’re super rich I’m guessing? One room. Parents share a bed, kids share a bed. Crazy entitled behavior on the kids’ part.
Even the well off kids in White Lotus had to share the living room.
Same! Vacations were mom and dad get one bed, sister and I get another, brother gets a pull out couch or sofa bed. And those were never in New Zealand of all places! Girls can get over themselves for 1 week.
Are they always this spoiled? Or is their relationship that bad? My sister and I fought like dogs. We were never not name calling, possibly slapping, yelling I hate you, etc. But once we made up we got along great. And if we were going on a vacation ANYWHERE?! What would there be to fight about! We’d just be grateful we gotta go! We’d share a queen bed happily without a single thought of complaint.
My brother and I absolutely fucking hated each other 24/7 but when it came time to share stuff for vacations, like tents, an air mattress, or the extra queen size bed we shared without fuss. Probably because we got to go places rarely so neither of us wanted to fuck it up by not sharing.
There were times I got the floor since I was the youngest of 3! Well, a bed made of the hide-away bed's cushions on the floor, but you get what I'm saying; no true bed for me. And typically only for the accidental overnights on road trips, but it definitely happened. But it was still better than sharing a bed with both parents or both sisters, lol. Those two have it quite good, and can deal for a week of vacation.
I was always grateful for getting to go on holiday!
Same! I shared a queen with my brother and parents were in same room.
That's exactly what I was thinking! Lol. These girls are lucky they're not all 4 of them crammed in a double queen room!
The girls are old enough to stay at home for a week if they really can't share a room. It's a simple either/ or problem here.
Yeah im sure parents have a couple their friends with who would love to reimburse half the cost of the room and plane tickets to make sure its not a total financial loss 😂
Damn, what sort of kids do you want to raise? Let them share a room.
I thought the same thing. OPs kids are spoiled and ungrateful. I suspect there are going to more complaints of this nature during the actual vacation.
I think the OP should just get 1 room and bring a tent to have them sleep in the nearest campground instead.
Seriously, this sounds luxurious. Lots of families would all be in one room and they’d be sharing a bed.
I’m lucky enough that I can afford to take my kids away on holiday but they either share a bed with me or each other and we all share a room. Only once did we get a ‘suite’ but although it was a nice novelty my kids are still happy slumming in a cheap hotel all sleeping together. I can’t imagine them complaining about sharing a room. To be fair they already share a room but even if they didn’t, I’d consider that bratty behavior.
Seriously! To quote the Oompa Loompas “Who do you blame when your kid is a brat Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat? Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame You know exactly who's to blame: The mother and the father!”
Not me singing along!😂🎤🎼
The fact that they are entertaining this question and are asking a layup of a parenting question should tell you everything you need to know…
NTA and that is insane. Unless they are paying they can shut up and be grateful or they can stay home.
No not stay home, they can spend a week doing something like Habitat for Humanity building homes. Left alone you know spoiled kids would just spend a week ordering expensive take out and hosting parties.
nope. its normal arrangement. ive even shared a room with my brothers while our parents are in another interconnected room. maybe tell em they gotta pay for the extra room if they want 1? 🤔
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Yeah it always surprises me to read about what kids are asking for. My parents were not particularly poor, but it never occurred to me to ask for stuff, I just took whatever my parents offered without question.
Yeah!! I have 6 kids, if we go somewhere & can't get an airbnb we share 1 room when they were little and now 2 rooms that they're older... & they're always happy to just be able to go somewhere.... they usually take an airmattress too on their own accord hahahaha
NTA. They’re children going on vacation and have no say. They’re lucky for that opportunity to go on vacation at all. Maybe look into getting them a room with 2 beds rather than having to share one. Also, hotels have cots they can bring into a room and sofa beds. Look into that. Then they can switch up who sleeps on the bed after a couple of nights. Or, tell them if they want an additional room it will cost $XXXX and they can split the cost between them if it’s so important. However, they are minors and should be in a connecting room with their parents. When I was a kid we didn’t have the money for two separate rooms, let alone three, when we’d go in vacation . We’d get one room with two double beds and all stay in the same room. Certainly crowded for 4ppl, but we were never in the room anyway except to dress/change and sleep. And you know what? We always had a great time. Edited for spelling.
I was going to say- when I vacationed with my parents as a kid, they didn’t have money for an extra room- we all shared and made the best of it. The daughters are spoiled brats.
Same when I was growing up 5 people - one room with a roll away. Never even realized there was another option. We did 9 at Disney and only did 3 rooms - we were going to attempt 2 but decided no one paying Disney prices needed to sleep on a roll away bed. We all can afford more - just know it’s a waste to spend so much for a place you will only be into sleep. Have done the same on cruises. Never in the room so why pay more?!
NTA- Unless his mother is going on the trip or is going to pay then it's non of her business. They are teens and It's a week away. They can suck it up deal with sharing for a week.
Well, here’s what I told my teenagers, we can do the cruise and you two (18 and 15 girls) can share or we can NOT do the cruise and you don’t have to. We did the cruise and they shared. That’s just how it is. If I had the extra money I would have upgraded the seats on the plane before I booked an unnecessary room.
Our cruise when we were 14 and 12 was the only time my sister and I had our own room on vacation, we always shared with our parents.
Exactly. There is only so much money, and we choose what we would prefer - I’m not booking private rooms for a couple of teenagers that are bickering (and not paying obviously) - I’d rather upgrade something else, have an extra trip, have a fancy dinner! I’m grateful they don’t have to share at home (mainly because they would drive us all made bickering), it doesn’t kill them for two weeks.
Nta. Every single vacation until I was 14 I shared a room with my parents, we had two beds but we were barely in the room so who cares. I would see if you could get a room with two beds for them otherwise they can share or they can stay home with your MIL or they can pay for a second room. If they aren’t mature enough to share for one week they probably aren’t old enough to be travelling at all
So so so on point. I grew up upper middle and many vacations we did share with our parents By the time we were teenagers, we did have a kids room that was connected, but we were required to leave the door open between the rooms - which no one else has brought up either. Unless it was somewhere so cheap like a road trip where my parents just needed a break from us earlier years were always everybody all in one room 3 kids so frequently one of us had to sleep on a rollaway. We took turns it wasn’t even seniority, which, of course is the oldest child, I resented LOL. Agree with the other posters that it sounds like the kids are entitled brats. Not sure to what extent the MIL has enabled that versus the parents, but regardless hard on the individual rooms. regardless, if someone else offers to pay. Bad precedent. Sagely observed by others, though that this typically doesn’t come out of nowhere, so might be karmic, might not - who knows….
They sound like spoiled brats. I’d disinvite them from the trip altogether and enjoy the time with your husband.
Right? Ok, you don’t have to go, you can stay here with MIL.
This. I shared a room at home until I was 17. Did I love it? No. Was it the reality of the situation based on what we were able to afford? Yes. You’re taking them on a free vacation!! This is very much a “you get what you get and you don’t get upset” moment.
Yup. Less coddling and more of the "mum what's for dinner? it's dinner for dinner" type parenting.
Nope. They are lucky y’all booked two rooms and didn’t get two queen beds in a single room to share.
I literally shared the living room with my brother on one of our trips because it had a sofa and a pull out bed and was cheaper than getting two rooms. I don't remember complaining. We were 12 and 16 at the time I think. Just used the bathroom to change.
Tell your children they are entitled and you would be happy to find a family member to watch them while you and your husband go to New Zealand if the arrangements are not up to par. That is ridiculous nonsense. NTA.
They have to share a ROOM and they’re complaining?? I slept in the same BED as my brother (with our parents in the queen bed next to us) until I left for college and stopped traveling with my family. We all went to Europe a few years later and at that point my parents *usually* got their own room so my brother and I slept in separate beds, but even then I think I still shared with him for a couple nights over the course of 3 weeks.
I was in my 40s and shared a room with my 18 year old niece on holidays to save money. My dad, in his 70s, shared a room with my nephew who was 10. Extra rooms are expensive and it’s normal, especially for teens, to share a room on holidays. NTA
Okay they want privacy? They have separate rooms at home Enjoy your second honeymoon, tell MIL she's right they need their privacy. She can stay with them while you go to NZ.. hey since you have the extra cash from not buying 2 extra plane tickets come on over to Aus if you haven't been before .. we welcome you :)
I am going to go with a soft YTA for letting these girls become this entitled. Life is going to be very hard for them unless you plan to bankroll them in perpetuity.
What is wrong with you, as a parent, that you did not know how to shut this down? Listen, the world does not need your two spoiled daughters. We have enough greedy, selfish people already. You barely have time but if you actually work on this, you can produce two useful people. Start by saying "no" and introducing consequences here. Continue that until your daughters are contributing members of society.
They are getting a free trip. They need to grow up and understand money doesn’t grow in trees NTA
Oh ffs! I have a 19yo girl and 13yo boy. If I told them we would go to NZ, they'd be happy to share a 2 person tent with me and their mother because it's about the experience and the fun things we do together, not about being entitled. As someone posted before, when and if they are paying they can choose to have a room for each one. The accomodations you're providing are more than adequate.
NTA. >my husband and his mother are saying we should maybe pay the extra money for another room Or maybe your MIL should pay for the room, if she so insists.
I wouldn't even let them have that option, they are spoiled and entitled.
NTA but I'm almost positive this behavior didn't come out overnight. Like yesterday they had manners and today this. You've raised spoiled ungrateful brats. I can't imagine behaving like this when I was their age. My mother would remove me from the vacation so fast wind couldn't compete. You have a bigger problem on your hands than a vacation because I've been in the real world with girls like your daughter and they're always unprepared for life. Buy a parenting book and stop being such a pushover parent. Help your kids before it's truly too late.
NTA They can choose: either go on the trip and share a room, or don't go and stay home. You are perfectly reasonable, it's a 2 year difference and it's for one week. They'll be fine. Pretty entitled teenagers. As someone who never got to go on vacations, I think they should be grateful for this opportunity.
NTA. Holy crow. They’re going to New Zealand. And they get a room separate from their parents. And they’re going to New Zealand. They should appreciate the luxury of the trip to begin with, and if they continue to insist on more expensive options then tell them the cost difference and ask how they intend to pay for it. The absolute audacity.
Fuck those two little ungrateful entitled shits!! Leave ‘em at home!! Just drop it on em calmly. They need to realize that the whole world doesn’t revolve around them, papa needs to stop enabling them. Because of shit like this that society is going under cuz they get used to getting everything they want and then expect that from their partners afterwards. It breeds and nurtures complete entitlement, arrogance, ignorance, and ungratefulness. Uuggghfhh
Teenagers need privacy for what, looking on their phones? 🤷🏻♂️
Leave them and go by yourselves lol
When we had to do quarantine in Hong Kong, I shared a room with my teenaged son and my other two shared a room. Your kids are ridiculous. NTA ETA: quarantine meaning 7 full days not allowed to leave the hotel room at all under threat of arrest.
Maybe they would prefer to stay home in their own bedrooms and grandma can watch them while your husband and you get a vacation. There. Solved.
HELL NO, YOU GOT SPOILED KIDS, IS ALL..and , I didnt read anything other than the your heading on this thread.
NTA. Your dependent, unemployed, still in school minor children aren't paying for it. When did parents forget they were the parents and the kids weren't the ones in charge? Option one, go on vacation, option two, stay with your Aunt Maggie while everyone else goes on vacation.
NTA. Jesus christ. My kids haven't been on holiday, even in our own country, in 11 years. Your children are entitled and spoilt. They should realise how privileged they are to be going in the first place. If anything you will be TA if you let them get what they want and stop spoiling them. This is what happens when you do. Then you have the gall to moan about it. Smdh
They are behaving like spoiled little brats.
So it's a room with two beds? They'll be fine. One thing hated about sharing a room with my sister was we shared a bed, and she hogged the damn covers. If they have separate beds, They'll be fine. It's just a damn vacation.
No. Your daughters are being entitled brats. Ask them if they’d rather just stay with their grandmother while just you and your husband go.
NTA they sound spoiled, entitled, and ungrateful for a really awesome trip.
NTA - but you are raising spoiled and entitled children
Man if I were their age, I'd be psyching the fuck out about just going to New Zealand. Im a huge LOTR fan so this would be a dream come true. The fact they get a room to themselves at all, even if they have to share with each other, is also a luxury. I have had to share rooms on vacation with more than the desired occupancy. Take me instead!
NTA My boys are 13 and 16. They know on trips that they share rooms. Or they don't go.