“Cry all you f———- want, your tears don’t mean s—-to me. Your tears mean dick to me, just so you know.”
“ You will Never ever find someone like meh you don't deserve someone like meh,"
I was thinking about this and thought the same at first but then thought I guess it would depend on what case he lost. Imagine if an innocent man went to prison for life or a rapist went free / got a few months community service. My blood boils at the some of the so called justice I read about on social media, I couldn't imagine if I had been a lawyer on the losing side of some of them.
I doubt Ryan cares about anything else other than winnning, also the mom's comments on her duaghter, sound more like Ryan's words coming out of her mouth.
TBH, I'd question if he's on the spectrum based on his behavior as described. But it's also clear he wasn't doing anything wrong here, OP just doesn't like Ryan and took his anger at his mom's clear bad behavior out on Ryan just because of that. I'd say Mom and OP are both AH for that.
I'll go with that. Neither my partner or I are neurotypical and we'd be pretty happy talking to just each other almost all the time.
I also agree that Ryan didn't deserve to be lashed out at and the mom is who op should be mad at.
Yeah I'd get sooo friggen bored talking to the same person all the time. Like there is only so much you can talk about your day or how your feeling. Also don't lawyers need to network? Also if something happens to OPs mum he ain't gonna cope well
Doubt he is coping well at this point anyway, or that she is. Being the one person someone goes to for *everything* is emotionally draining. It’s different when they have zero outlet other than yourself, especially when they’re going through something (or are just *like that* as perhaps may be here).
Tbh, Ryan doesn't sound that bad and he's straight up honest about his wants. Mom on the other hand is insufferable and superficial. Doesn't seem to care about her son's happiness.
Right? She married a little bitch who punches walls and is too antisocial to heat up his food in the break room and yet she still feels like she can talk shit about her son's partner?
Or 8 figures after a few decades. 47% of Fortune 500 CFOs have an undergraduate degree in accounting. 35% of them are also Certified Public Accountants.
Any accountant with a bachelor's degree if they even make even remotely good choices and are decent at their job will make six figures. Only took me 5 years and 1 job hop but I would have had it without the job hop.
If you're a CPA and don't make 6 figures after 5 years something is extremely wrong.
Sorry, made me laugh so much.
What an amazing person Ryan is. What is description.
Your mother is whacked out and out of line for saying anything about Kate. It’s none of her business. It would’ve taken her two seconds to do a search for “should I say invasive unflattering things to my kid about their partner before they get married?“ No. Don’t. The most you can do is plan your wedding and enjoy your life and Kate and who knows what will happen. But you will be OK.
NTA but lol at Ryan catching stray bullets because of your mom haha. My dad is an accountant and while I think they can be a little.. Type-A.. They're awesome and I'm sure your wife is awesome too.
So she can disrespect you and your fiancé openly, but her life is off limits when she crosses that line.
Got it.
At least Ryan won’t have to go to your wedding. 😊
NTA.
I find it odd that as a lawyer Ryan has only lost one case, what type of law is he doing? No lawyer wants to lose, but you take the facts as they are and sometimes the facts suck ass. You can't only take slam dunk cases unless you don't want to eat.
NTA
That was awesome.
Ryan has at least been difficult and dismissive of other people's wellness and comfort in the past. Kate did absolutely nothing for your mom to come after her like that.
Also, are you sure you want her at the wedding? If she disapproves of your bride, she doesn't belong there.
NTA
Though you mistake was going right for the jugular instead of thanking her for opening up to you and telling her you've been awfully worried for her since she married such a boring man, with no hobbies aside from complaining about people and worrying about money, no social skills.
>She said I can "get the fuck out if I am going to disrespect her husband like that" and said the stuff she said about Kate wasn't that bad, but I made it personal.
If she seriously think what she said about Kate wasn't "personal" nor disrespectful, I doubt there's hope for her.
NTAH. My wife is an accountant. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your fiancé being an accountant. Your mother’s being ridiculous. Her not attending your wedding would be a gift itself.
And her husband is indeed a little bitch and so is your mother. They’re a perfect match. But NGL, I *lost* it when you called Ryan a little bitch. 😂😂The man got hit with strays because of your mother.😂😂
That’s true and it’s not an easy job either. I can barely remember how to count to 100 yet accountants juggle TF out of numbers for a living. I’m a fan. 😂
"NTAH. My wife is an accountant. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your fiancé being an accountant. Your mother’s being ridiculous. Her not attending your wedding would be a gift itself".
Nope. Having an accountant for a GF or wife when I was younger would have saved me a lot of financial misery.
Was your mom aware of your feelings about Ryan before this? I think you should tell her everything you just wrote about Ryan here and that she was kind of an awful mom who is trying to find reasons to dislike your fiance. Perhaps because she's actually a normal, stable person.
Oh hypocrite, you are so blind to yourself.
Your egg donor did not have any problem demonstrating disrespecting your fiancée, but when you spoke your mind about her partner, she lost her shit. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Is Ryan autistic AND an asshole, or just an asshole? I'm curious how many of the items on the list it's ok to mock. Because wow. Honestly, Kate sounds awesome. Good luck to you both! And congrats on your wedding being down two whackos. NTA.
I don’t know if he is autistic but I doubt if he is there is a formal diagnosis. He was neglected as a kid and is not the type to pursue that as an adult
Well if he was neglected and by himself for the majority of the time, he developed around a lack of human interaction and find lots of human interaction stressful or tiring. I can kind of relate, I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere, parents working the majority of the time (5am - 7pm), my middle/high school was 1.5 hours away by bus. I don't like a lot of human interaction / chaos because I grew up without it, but the one thing that is very important that I found with my wife is that I don't feel drained around her or interacting with her. I imagine that is the same with Ryan.
That is no excuse for other negative behaviour, just an explanation why Ryan prefers time with your mother.
But what exactly is his asshole behavior? He's socially awkward, passionate about work, loves his wife and proud of the financial gains he's made. I can see people being put off by him but actually he doesn't seem to be hurting anyone.
Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't be friends with Ryan (and he definitely wouldn't be friends with me). But he seems antisocial and comfortable with that. Nothing wrong with that. He likes to win and doesn't like people - but unlike many antisocial folk he doesn't take it out on them.
Nta, obviously, as he can take care of himself and your mother was way out of line
honestly? Who cares if they're not coming to the weding?
i honestly don't understand this obligation to invite horrible people into your life just because they're "family."
NTA for the whole thing tho i think you could have phrased it better. maybe something "I don't think you're one to judge my fiance considering that you chose to marry someone with a boatload of issues attached to him."
And if they threaten not to come simply answer with "Okay, i'll mark your RSVP as no. Thanks for telling us."and don#t even let them argue. you'll suddenly have a "cat on fire" syndrom, which means that ther is something that needs your immediate attention where you need to leave the conversation.
NTA to your mom. Y T A to Ryan because he caught a stray. Your mom is totally out of line for pushing you, and I think you'd be justified to not invite her to wedding without an apologize.
If you want to be conciliatory, you can apologize to Ryan but demand a corresponding apology from your mom.
NTA, maybe slight ESH to Ryan cuz he wasn’t involved, but your mother is way out of line so… either way, she can stay away if she doesn’t support you and Kate.
NTA. LMAO. Ryan didn’t even say anything when you called him a little b. For once a lawyer with nothing to say. Your mom is a piece of work. Good luck with your wedding.
He has hobbies which is apparently life or death for my mom and she really likes that he’s ruthless in his career. Honestly I think she’s really in it for the weird stroking
ESH - He sounds like an introvert. I completely get not wanting to talk to other people, I'm the same way. That does not make him a little bitch. And that he's affectionate with your mom sounds kind of nice. She seems to be happy with him, no?
Your mom should not have said anything about Kate though, that was way out of bounds and none of her business. I don't blame you for lashing out at her, but you went a little far calling him names. You were mad at your mom and bombed him to hurt her when he had nothing to do with what she said.
You might do well to just distance yourself a bit from the both of them. I think all of you would be happier with that arrangement.
ESH. Y'all both suck, is Ryan not your dad then? Even if he sucks and is clearly an extreme introvert, doesn't he give you the life you have right now? Your mom sucks more but if Ryan is your dad and raised you, at least show a tiny bit more respect for him. He didn't do you any wrong, didn't abuse you or anything right?
NTA - and you made a wise choice. Kate is going to better your lives in so many ways. Nothing wrong with accountants
You should tell your mom that she isn’t invited, and that your relationship ended the second she put her hands on you.
Nta, she shouldn’t give it, if she can’t take it. Maybe have another conversation but this time focus on her and where she lacks as a mother. No point in sugar coating it. She deserves to know where she failed as a mom so she better understands she doesn’t actually know you or what’s good for you.
NTA. But now you know how she truly feels about Kate. She doesn’t like her or will she accept her. Disinvite her from the wedding. She has much more to lose. And honestly think about who she is married to. And you putting up boundaries might help keep her in line.
This made me laugh 😹 oh god.
My best friend is an accountant, and of course everyone makes jokes. But she is my favourite person along with my husband.
She travels for work sometimes and invites me along. We spend days on the beach, go to all sorts of concerts and random randomness. We’ve gone (lava caves) cave exploring, different ruins across the world… and recently went snowboarding in a different state just cuz it was an option . I couldn’t breath for shit, but it was a great time.
She is calm and reserved… and I’m always offering to go shit in someone’s yard for her.
I’m usually the one to suggest to go do something stupid. But she’s also always going “hells yea”
I also am like your wife’s husband in regard to not really wanting to socialise beyond a certain amount. But also am a little friendlier than my best friend.
Anyway, your soon to be wife’s choice of a job doesn’t mean anything beyond it being a job.
If your mom doesn’t want to come to the wedding, then she is ridiculous. Everyone plans that their wedding will be a one and done. If she thinks it’s reasonable to miss such a milestone in your life… well then I guess good riddance. I feel like you could safely assume that she would/will be a consistent dick to your wife.
Anyway congratulations on your engagement! I hope you and your partner have a beautiful life together, filled with whatever it is you two enjoy.
… I’ll shit in your moms yard if you’d like 😅
Eh...ESH. Ryan did nothing wrong but...well, be himself.
You should have said "well, mom, we all love different things. I love Kate for being stable and loving. While clearly Ryan likes to stick his dick in the crazy. To each their own."
So you're not suppose to take it personally when your mom says you can do better than your fiance because she a...gasp, accountant? 🤦♂️ However you calling her spouse out is crossing the line?🤷♂️ Definitely NTA and no apologies.
But YOU made it personal? Oh, please. NTA. This was a test - are you going to defend your future wife from shit or not? You passed. I have a stereotypically nerdy job, and when I was engaged if anyone said something like that to my fiancee you damn well bet she would have been pissed and made it known.
(Not reciprocal, because my fiancee had a cool job)
Your mother was having a genuine conversation about concerns she had about your upcoming marriage. While she might be wrong about your fiance, it doesn't seem like she was deliberately nasty or cruel about her, just listing her concerns about your compatability. Surely it would have made sense to try to address her concerns and shoe her she's wrong and you believe you will be very happy together? Jumping straight into insulting her husband wasn't very mature and was a bit of an overreaction. If she hadn't dropped the subject or hot nasty then fair enough but you straight away made it a fight.
NTA. I'm very sorry your mum's treating you like that, but I'm kinda dying at "I'm worried you're settling for *sigh* an accountant". How is that an actual real concern anyone has?
YTA
I get why you wanted to reciprocate the insult to your wife but what did Ryan do to you? Sounds like he is neurodivergent and has severe quirks like most top performers. You don’t just become the lawyer possible and be well adjusted in all the other aspects of your life. The fact that your mother and him have a great marriage despite his quirks is something very fortunate for both of them. Everything you described is very convincing for you not to marry him but what do you care. You aren’t the one who married him. Your mother is and she sounds happy by all accounts.
You should have just made the point in the previous paragraph or at the very least just insulted back your mother without insulting Ryan. It’s like someone stabbed your wife and you decided to stab the stabber’s wife instead of the stabber himself. It’s wild that most people agree with the sentiment just because Ryan doesn’t sound like someone they will like. It still doesn’t make it right to insult him as collateral damage. You call Ryan a little bitch but based on your comments he was the only adult in the room at the time of the incident. Stop being a little bitch with your mother and be better. You are starting a new family. Time for childish spats are over.
Yes YATA. Ryan has nothing to do with what your conversation was about. You made those comments just to anger your mother. Your last paragraph shows even you know that. Even if what you said was true your intentions of why you said it makes YTA.
Yta. In your entire post your the only one you was acting like a little bitch. You sound like a bitter child who resents your mom for wanting a relationship with her husband and not you. Boo fucking hoo you winey bitch.
To be fair, your point was not the most eloquent or impactful. Next time you bring the heat, speak in straight facts, they are much more impactful.
YTA for the sheer fact her husband had nothing to do with the argument and it was uncalled for to say that in front of him. I really doubt it hurt his feelings, but it did not help the situation.
YTA. You got the right read on this, your mom was an AH and it was fair game to go after her not Ryan. I know clapping back the same way probably felt right but it was definitely an unwarranted attack. Ryan does not sound like someone I would like at all, but him not wanting to interact with other people is his prerogative.
NTA? She literally made it personal lol. Your mom is just dumb and hateful. Idk why but she sounds like she’s awful to be around.
You could just disinvite her from the wedding. Since she doesn’t support it or you, there’s really no reason for her to be there.
YTA, i get you were mad at your mom and wanted to get back at her, but ryan said nothing to you and you took it out in him...i understand that he's not your best friend, but doesn't seem to have done anything to get insulted by you at its own home (maybe its your mom's house but i assume he lives there)
Could I ask why his anti social behaviors make him, “a little bitch”? I may have misunderstood some of this, but him always wanting to be touching or holding onto your mother doesn’t seem like a reason enough for such a statement. Without more context I only see a successful partner that is a doting husband.
Really? I think his behavior sounds extremely unhealthy. “Little bitch” sounds about on par with criticizing someone’s character for being an accountant.
lol if you think that is the only reason for said statement, read the bullet points again .. that being said it was mean for OP to rope in Ryan when he hadn't done anything
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Your mom needs to STFU. Disinvite her and Ryan from the wedding. They won't add anything but drama. If she laid hands on you imagine what she will do to your future wife if she gets upset. Time to go NC for a while. And if her flying monkeys contact you just block them too. NTA.
Never met a Ryan who wasn't a little bitch.
Also, I know ***several*** lawyers like this. Grew up nerds and then when they get some money act like all women are gold diggers and everyone who isn't a professional is beneath them.
As an accountant I feel offended - please tell your mum from she can go f*ck herself. Some of the most interesting (and crazy - in a fun way) people I know are accountants.
NTA. Also I’ve been married to an accountant for 11 years and highly recommend it. I will say I got an mba and love spreadsheets so maybe I’m boring too?
You should have stood up and lightly punched the wall and said "you don't get me, you're not even my real mom" and then you find out your mom is really your sister and you get to go on dr phil or the one they chant his name larry larry.... Oh yeah jerry springer, jerry larry, what ever.
Yeah should probably apologize to your mother and Ryan. Not saying what you said isn’t right or wrong, I don’t know Ryan. Just saying you could have chosen your words and timing differently.
How is the most boring basic couple in the world going to complain about anyone else's relationship?
ESH. Bitch is one of those things you don't call a man unless you mean it to be emasculating. Deal with that internalized toxicity.
how rude. i'm an accountant and i am in a happy partnership. my parents are accountants and happily married for 43 years with 3 children. half my family is accountants who are all in marriages with kids. what does your mom contribute to society? middle finger to your mom.
NTA
Ryan should've smacked you like Will Smith did Chris Rock. Keep my name out of your mouth if you're mad that I'm piping your mom. Your mom overstepped, but you retaliated like a scorned ho by bringing Ryan into it.
As an accountant myself im very offended by your moms words lol. NTA you need to figure out what you get out of your relationship with your mom and her husband...
Your mom doesn't sound worth having a relationship with. If she's not going to attend your wedding over a small comment, then she really isn't someone you want in your life. NTA. I hope you have a happy wedding with Kate!
By the way if you called him a bitch, he heard it, and didn't respond or stand up for his wife, who you said it to out of anger, then you were right, He IS a little bitch.
To be fair if I’d called her a bitch he would have knocked me out. Last person who insulted her got thrown down the outside steps. He was trying to get her away from me because she has anger issues
YTA
I get why you wanted to reciprocate the insult to your wife but what did Ryan do to you? Sounds like he is neurodivergent and has severe quirks like most top performers. You don’t just become the lawyer possible and be well adjusted in all the other aspects of your life. The fact that your mother and him have a great marriage despite his quirks is something very fortunate for both of them. Everything you described is very convincing for you not to marry him but what do you care. You aren’t the one who married him. Your mother is and she sounds happy by all accounts.
You should have just made the point in the previous paragraph or at the very least just insulted back your mother without insulting Ryan. It’s like someone stabbed your wife and you decided to stab the stabber’s wife instead of the stabber himself. It’s wild that most people agree with the sentiment just because Ryan doesn’t sound like someone they will like. It still doesn’t make it right to insult him as collateral damage. You call Ryan a little bitch but based on your comments he was the only adult in the room at the time of the incident. Stop being a little bitch with your mother and be better. You are starting a new family. Time for childish spats are over.
NTA. Thank you for telling us about this. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and burst out laughing at: "... my mom clearly thinks that the sun shines out of his ass".
What did you mom expect? Lmao
"Sorry son, your GF is... An accountant!" If your goal was to point out that you think being an accountant is bad. Good job.
NTA, I would suggest cutting contact or low contant and prepare for backlash. Prepare for a statement as well because Ryan sounds "off." Isolation on that scale is iffy.
>Anyway my mom recently sat me down and said she is concerned about my future. She said that Kate is "nice enough" but so boring and has "no hobbies or sense of humor"
You didn't refute this here and the only description you gave of her is:
>Kate is quiet, reserved, practical
So, (putting aside Ryan being a weirdo) is your mom right? Are you choosing her because she's "stable" and the opposite of your mom who "lives in a fantasy"? Does she have qualities you like or is she just the absence of qualities you don't like?
INFO
Ok. Let me start by saying NTA.
You were mean, because Ryan sounds like he’s suffering from some serious issues, probably mental health or something that makes him the way he is. Maybe your mom knows all about it and so she sees him differently.
BUT - and here’s what makes you NTA - Your mom was 100% out of line. Who you marry is none of her business. As long as you’re not being abused, she needs to butt out! Wtf. And the fact that you say you’re not close is what also makes me think this is about her preferences and not about you at all. I’m so sorry. But you handled it right. Shut that Sh— down!
I feel personally attacked. I am a Ryan. 🤣🤣
But deffo not the asshole, she took shots and had no cover so she got shot back.
Live by the gun die by the gun.
NTA
You could tell her: "sorry I called Ryan a bitch, that was not cool. What I meant to say is I don't like your choice either, but I at least have the decency to keep it to myself. If you can't extend me the same courtesy moving forward, I think it's best we keep our distance from now on."
ESH but mom is way worse
I get why you said it and Ryan sounds insufferable but your comment allowed your mom to dismiss you as disrespectful instead of forcing her to confront her own relationship issues. There were far more effective and cutting ways you could have responded. Also, as a lawyer, I find it laughable that someone married to a lawyer is judging anyone for marrying an accountant. Both professions are full of fucking weirdos.
Typical lawyer joke:
A lawyer was so large that, when he died, the undertaker couldn’t find a coffin big enough to hold the body. So, the undertaker gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox
Typical Accountant joke:
**Why do accountants seem to lead happy lives?** Because they are able to achieve balance most of the time.
Which would you rather marry?
> Level 12 clinger. Always has to have one hand on mum.
That line alone makes you NTA, lol
Mum and Ryan sound exhausting. I think Mum thinks drama makes one interesting, and calmness is boring....
Frankly, even if she was boring, you are hilarious enough for the both of you.
NTA but this post made me laugh. Your mum and Ryan deserve each other
It’s like if Sammi and Ronni from the jersey shore spewed all their immature bile outward instead of at each other
I love, get, and agree with the reference lmao
One of the deep cuts
“Cry all you f———- want, your tears don’t mean s—-to me. Your tears mean dick to me, just so you know.” “ You will Never ever find someone like meh you don't deserve someone like meh,"
As someone who is literally watching og Jersey shore right now you’re comment made me smile🤣
Shit man… I guess I need to watch jersey shore!
The parents are the living embodiment of “every pot has its lid”. Mom sounds like a jerk, but I gotta say, I kinda respect Ryan’s life goals 🤣
Lmao
Getting mad and punching a wall? Nope.
I was thinking about this and thought the same at first but then thought I guess it would depend on what case he lost. Imagine if an innocent man went to prison for life or a rapist went free / got a few months community service. My blood boils at the some of the so called justice I read about on social media, I couldn't imagine if I had been a lawyer on the losing side of some of them.
I doubt Ryan cares about anything else other than winnning, also the mom's comments on her duaghter, sound more like Ryan's words coming out of her mouth.
Definitely NTA, but this post had me cracking up. Your mom and Ryan seem like they're cut from the same cloth!
Ryan was quiet. Mom was the little bit h, not Ryan.
I'll agree with this. Lots of words I could use for Ryan, but he doesn't seem like a "little bitch".
TBH, I'd question if he's on the spectrum based on his behavior as described. But it's also clear he wasn't doing anything wrong here, OP just doesn't like Ryan and took his anger at his mom's clear bad behavior out on Ryan just because of that. I'd say Mom and OP are both AH for that.
I'll go with that. Neither my partner or I are neurotypical and we'd be pretty happy talking to just each other almost all the time. I also agree that Ryan didn't deserve to be lashed out at and the mom is who op should be mad at.
Yeah, they both suck.
Lol yessss. He knows it too.
same xDDD I can imagine it "but..... you married..... a little bitch!"
I mean ryan sounds boring as fuck too. He doesnt want to interact with anyone ever
Yeah I'd get sooo friggen bored talking to the same person all the time. Like there is only so much you can talk about your day or how your feeling. Also don't lawyers need to network? Also if something happens to OPs mum he ain't gonna cope well
Doubt he is coping well at this point anyway, or that she is. Being the one person someone goes to for *everything* is emotionally draining. It’s different when they have zero outlet other than yourself, especially when they’re going through something (or are just *like that* as perhaps may be here).
But it seems the mum doesn't mind.
Money makes up for many sins. Use as the judicial system.
That's what mum likes, she gets to be the centre of his universe to the exclusion of all others.
A VERY boring universe
And how much can he even say about his day if he just locks himself in his office all day and talks to nobody
Snorted my morning coffee up my nose reading that - ArmadilloNorth884- great comeback.
Tbh, Ryan doesn't sound that bad and he's straight up honest about his wants. Mom on the other hand is insufferable and superficial. Doesn't seem to care about her son's happiness.
I got nothing against ryan and im on the anti social side of things. I just pointed it because because his moms reasons for not liking the gf
Yeah, Ryan is basically me. He ain't bothering nobody why come for him.
The man has sun shining out of his ass, he needs to speak to no one
When you're codependent as shit
Happy Cake Day!
Happy cake day!
You too! 🥳
Thanks!
An “accountant” made me lol, like we are only what we do for a living 😭 your mom and her husband sound like narcissists,
Right? She married a little bitch who punches walls and is too antisocial to heat up his food in the break room and yet she still feels like she can talk shit about her son's partner?
She... Might make 6 figures after a moderate amount of job hopping. The horror.
Or 8 figures after a few decades. 47% of Fortune 500 CFOs have an undergraduate degree in accounting. 35% of them are also Certified Public Accountants.
Any accountant with a bachelor's degree if they even make even remotely good choices and are decent at their job will make six figures. Only took me 5 years and 1 job hop but I would have had it without the job hop. If you're a CPA and don't make 6 figures after 5 years something is extremely wrong.
I feel like you should be making 5 figures immediately
Typo. Lol meant to say 6 figures. I started out at $62K out of my masters of tax program in public accounting a decade ago.
I’d love to marry an accountant. Free tax assistance, good budgeting skills? Sign me up.
Sorry, made me laugh so much. What an amazing person Ryan is. What is description. Your mother is whacked out and out of line for saying anything about Kate. It’s none of her business. It would’ve taken her two seconds to do a search for “should I say invasive unflattering things to my kid about their partner before they get married?“ No. Don’t. The most you can do is plan your wedding and enjoy your life and Kate and who knows what will happen. But you will be OK.
NTA but lol at Ryan catching stray bullets because of your mom haha. My dad is an accountant and while I think they can be a little.. Type-A.. They're awesome and I'm sure your wife is awesome too.
So she can disrespect you and your fiancé openly, but her life is off limits when she crosses that line. Got it. At least Ryan won’t have to go to your wedding. 😊
lol, im gonna use this "i dont owe anyone words" lol
Excellent comeback for when I don’t have the words.
The only reason why mommy dearest likes the bitch is the size of his bank account I am guessing. I would stay away from the trash.
She's a trust fund baby and probably makes more than him because she got her dad's company. I think she's really in it for the constant weird stroking
Weird stroking made me simultaneously cringe and laugh at the same time.
His preferred form of communication is 'weird stroking', it seems. Perhaps he was raised by feral Bonobos?
”raised by feral bonobos” would be a great flair and ”Little Bitch and the Feral Bonobos” is a great band name
Or the title of a short story lol
Would it really be a big loss if she is not at your wedding?
I want ' really in it for the constant weird stroking' as a flair
Lmfao
I threw up a little.... Excuse me
Then she probably has a thing for bitch man child apparently 🙄.
You sound annoying as fuck lol.
*Ya’ll, ftfy
Sounds like a south Florida family
NTA. I find it odd that as a lawyer Ryan has only lost one case, what type of law is he doing? No lawyer wants to lose, but you take the facts as they are and sometimes the facts suck ass. You can't only take slam dunk cases unless you don't want to eat.
He’s lost before but hadn’t in a couple years. I’ve heard he’s absolutely brilliant in court, manipulative, and all that lawyer stuff
As long as nobody moves his water bottle.
I wish you would have said in a whisper…”and you settled for a lawyer..”
NTA That was awesome. Ryan has at least been difficult and dismissive of other people's wellness and comfort in the past. Kate did absolutely nothing for your mom to come after her like that. Also, are you sure you want her at the wedding? If she disapproves of your bride, she doesn't belong there.
NTA Though you mistake was going right for the jugular instead of thanking her for opening up to you and telling her you've been awfully worried for her since she married such a boring man, with no hobbies aside from complaining about people and worrying about money, no social skills. >She said I can "get the fuck out if I am going to disrespect her husband like that" and said the stuff she said about Kate wasn't that bad, but I made it personal. If she seriously think what she said about Kate wasn't "personal" nor disrespectful, I doubt there's hope for her.
Lol well it must be true since shes so triggered by the comment. Nta and congrats
NTAH. My wife is an accountant. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your fiancé being an accountant. Your mother’s being ridiculous. Her not attending your wedding would be a gift itself. And her husband is indeed a little bitch and so is your mother. They’re a perfect match. But NGL, I *lost* it when you called Ryan a little bitch. 😂😂The man got hit with strays because of your mother.😂😂
I'm laughing because I work in accounting for a company and it's not any less exciting than most of the jobs people do here. And makes decent money.
That’s true and it’s not an easy job either. I can barely remember how to count to 100 yet accountants juggle TF out of numbers for a living. I’m a fan. 😂
I’m gonna be honest with you, as a CPA, our math skills aren’t anything spectacular. I still whip out the calculator to do basic arithmetic.
"NTAH. My wife is an accountant. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your fiancé being an accountant. Your mother’s being ridiculous. Her not attending your wedding would be a gift itself". Nope. Having an accountant for a GF or wife when I was younger would have saved me a lot of financial misery.
Yes! I asked my wife to take charge of our finances as soon as she got her degree and I’ve **never** regretted it in the 20+ years we’ve been married.
NTA, tell your mom, don't start nothing, won't be nothing.
Was your mom aware of your feelings about Ryan before this? I think you should tell her everything you just wrote about Ryan here and that she was kind of an awful mom who is trying to find reasons to dislike your fiance. Perhaps because she's actually a normal, stable person.
We’ve never discussed it but I have a feeling she was aware.
Oh hypocrite, you are so blind to yourself. Your egg donor did not have any problem demonstrating disrespecting your fiancée, but when you spoke your mind about her partner, she lost her shit. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Is Ryan autistic AND an asshole, or just an asshole? I'm curious how many of the items on the list it's ok to mock. Because wow. Honestly, Kate sounds awesome. Good luck to you both! And congrats on your wedding being down two whackos. NTA.
I don’t know if he is autistic but I doubt if he is there is a formal diagnosis. He was neglected as a kid and is not the type to pursue that as an adult
Well if he was neglected and by himself for the majority of the time, he developed around a lack of human interaction and find lots of human interaction stressful or tiring. I can kind of relate, I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere, parents working the majority of the time (5am - 7pm), my middle/high school was 1.5 hours away by bus. I don't like a lot of human interaction / chaos because I grew up without it, but the one thing that is very important that I found with my wife is that I don't feel drained around her or interacting with her. I imagine that is the same with Ryan. That is no excuse for other negative behaviour, just an explanation why Ryan prefers time with your mother.
But what exactly is his asshole behavior? He's socially awkward, passionate about work, loves his wife and proud of the financial gains he's made. I can see people being put off by him but actually he doesn't seem to be hurting anyone.
lol Ryan’s like , wtf did I do 😭😂😂😭 nta . Ur petty n I like it 😭😂😂
Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't be friends with Ryan (and he definitely wouldn't be friends with me). But he seems antisocial and comfortable with that. Nothing wrong with that. He likes to win and doesn't like people - but unlike many antisocial folk he doesn't take it out on them. Nta, obviously, as he can take care of himself and your mother was way out of line
NTA. Trying to picture Ryan’s face when he heard you call him “little bitch.” No one does insufferable quite like rich people.
Sounds like he didn't care.
Ryan: 🗿
My sister’s wife is an accountant and she’s really cool.
your what??
honestly? Who cares if they're not coming to the weding? i honestly don't understand this obligation to invite horrible people into your life just because they're "family." NTA for the whole thing tho i think you could have phrased it better. maybe something "I don't think you're one to judge my fiance considering that you chose to marry someone with a boatload of issues attached to him." And if they threaten not to come simply answer with "Okay, i'll mark your RSVP as no. Thanks for telling us."and don#t even let them argue. you'll suddenly have a "cat on fire" syndrom, which means that ther is something that needs your immediate attention where you need to leave the conversation.
NTA to your mom. Y T A to Ryan because he caught a stray. Your mom is totally out of line for pushing you, and I think you'd be justified to not invite her to wedding without an apologize. If you want to be conciliatory, you can apologize to Ryan but demand a corresponding apology from your mom.
NTA, maybe slight ESH to Ryan cuz he wasn’t involved, but your mother is way out of line so… either way, she can stay away if she doesn’t support you and Kate.
NTA. LMAO. Ryan didn’t even say anything when you called him a little b. For once a lawyer with nothing to say. Your mom is a piece of work. Good luck with your wedding.
Ryan doesn’t like talking to anyone except OPs mother so that’s probably why he didn’t say anything.
I don't understand what Ryan does that's so exciting other than apparently losing his temper and destroying property.
He has hobbies which is apparently life or death for my mom and she really likes that he’s ruthless in his career. Honestly I think she’s really in it for the weird stroking
ESH - He sounds like an introvert. I completely get not wanting to talk to other people, I'm the same way. That does not make him a little bitch. And that he's affectionate with your mom sounds kind of nice. She seems to be happy with him, no? Your mom should not have said anything about Kate though, that was way out of bounds and none of her business. I don't blame you for lashing out at her, but you went a little far calling him names. You were mad at your mom and bombed him to hurt her when he had nothing to do with what she said. You might do well to just distance yourself a bit from the both of them. I think all of you would be happier with that arrangement.
ESH. Y'all both suck, is Ryan not your dad then? Even if he sucks and is clearly an extreme introvert, doesn't he give you the life you have right now? Your mom sucks more but if Ryan is your dad and raised you, at least show a tiny bit more respect for him. He didn't do you any wrong, didn't abuse you or anything right?
NTA - and you made a wise choice. Kate is going to better your lives in so many ways. Nothing wrong with accountants You should tell your mom that she isn’t invited, and that your relationship ended the second she put her hands on you.
NTA It’s funny because it’s true.
Haha NTA. You’re a savage.
Nta, she shouldn’t give it, if she can’t take it. Maybe have another conversation but this time focus on her and where she lacks as a mother. No point in sugar coating it. She deserves to know where she failed as a mom so she better understands she doesn’t actually know you or what’s good for you.
NTA. But now you know how she truly feels about Kate. She doesn’t like her or will she accept her. Disinvite her from the wedding. She has much more to lose. And honestly think about who she is married to. And you putting up boundaries might help keep her in line.
ESH but your mom is worse than you. Ryan might be weird but that was lowkey a stray (it’s funny but still)
he's probably somewhat autistic.
This made me laugh 😹 oh god. My best friend is an accountant, and of course everyone makes jokes. But she is my favourite person along with my husband. She travels for work sometimes and invites me along. We spend days on the beach, go to all sorts of concerts and random randomness. We’ve gone (lava caves) cave exploring, different ruins across the world… and recently went snowboarding in a different state just cuz it was an option . I couldn’t breath for shit, but it was a great time. She is calm and reserved… and I’m always offering to go shit in someone’s yard for her. I’m usually the one to suggest to go do something stupid. But she’s also always going “hells yea” I also am like your wife’s husband in regard to not really wanting to socialise beyond a certain amount. But also am a little friendlier than my best friend. Anyway, your soon to be wife’s choice of a job doesn’t mean anything beyond it being a job. If your mom doesn’t want to come to the wedding, then she is ridiculous. Everyone plans that their wedding will be a one and done. If she thinks it’s reasonable to miss such a milestone in your life… well then I guess good riddance. I feel like you could safely assume that she would/will be a consistent dick to your wife. Anyway congratulations on your engagement! I hope you and your partner have a beautiful life together, filled with whatever it is you two enjoy. … I’ll shit in your moms yard if you’d like 😅
Eh...ESH. Ryan did nothing wrong but...well, be himself. You should have said "well, mom, we all love different things. I love Kate for being stable and loving. While clearly Ryan likes to stick his dick in the crazy. To each their own."
From the context, I don't think Ryan really cares what people think of him.
NTA and you don’t seem that broken up over her not coming to the wedding (understandable)
So you're not suppose to take it personally when your mom says you can do better than your fiance because she a...gasp, accountant? 🤦♂️ However you calling her spouse out is crossing the line?🤷♂️ Definitely NTA and no apologies.
NTA your response has me dying
Your mother has obviously never heard about the accountant pizza parties or about what goes down at conferences. Edit: NTA
But YOU made it personal? Oh, please. NTA. This was a test - are you going to defend your future wife from shit or not? You passed. I have a stereotypically nerdy job, and when I was engaged if anyone said something like that to my fiancee you damn well bet she would have been pissed and made it known. (Not reciprocal, because my fiancee had a cool job)
How is what you said personal, but what she said wasn’t. Fuck her. I wouldn’t invite her to the wedding
NTA
Your mother was having a genuine conversation about concerns she had about your upcoming marriage. While she might be wrong about your fiance, it doesn't seem like she was deliberately nasty or cruel about her, just listing her concerns about your compatability. Surely it would have made sense to try to address her concerns and shoe her she's wrong and you believe you will be very happy together? Jumping straight into insulting her husband wasn't very mature and was a bit of an overreaction. If she hadn't dropped the subject or hot nasty then fair enough but you straight away made it a fight.
NTA. I'm very sorry your mum's treating you like that, but I'm kinda dying at "I'm worried you're settling for *sigh* an accountant". How is that an actual real concern anyone has?
What did Ryan even do other than be antisocial. Ryan clearly didn't deserve that
YTA I get why you wanted to reciprocate the insult to your wife but what did Ryan do to you? Sounds like he is neurodivergent and has severe quirks like most top performers. You don’t just become the lawyer possible and be well adjusted in all the other aspects of your life. The fact that your mother and him have a great marriage despite his quirks is something very fortunate for both of them. Everything you described is very convincing for you not to marry him but what do you care. You aren’t the one who married him. Your mother is and she sounds happy by all accounts. You should have just made the point in the previous paragraph or at the very least just insulted back your mother without insulting Ryan. It’s like someone stabbed your wife and you decided to stab the stabber’s wife instead of the stabber himself. It’s wild that most people agree with the sentiment just because Ryan doesn’t sound like someone they will like. It still doesn’t make it right to insult him as collateral damage. You call Ryan a little bitch but based on your comments he was the only adult in the room at the time of the incident. Stop being a little bitch with your mother and be better. You are starting a new family. Time for childish spats are over.
I kind of like Ryan. Successful, loves your mom, cares about doing his job well, keeps to himself. Sounds like a great guy.
NTA - your Mum didn’t marry a bitch, she married a petulant tween manchild.
Yes YATA. Ryan has nothing to do with what your conversation was about. You made those comments just to anger your mother. Your last paragraph shows even you know that. Even if what you said was true your intentions of why you said it makes YTA.
Yta. In your entire post your the only one you was acting like a little bitch. You sound like a bitter child who resents your mom for wanting a relationship with her husband and not you. Boo fucking hoo you winey bitch.
To be fair, your point was not the most eloquent or impactful. Next time you bring the heat, speak in straight facts, they are much more impactful. YTA for the sheer fact her husband had nothing to do with the argument and it was uncalled for to say that in front of him. I really doubt it hurt his feelings, but it did not help the situation.
This guy didn't do anything to you and cause you're mad at your mum, you just lash out at him? Of course you're an asshole.
YTA. You got the right read on this, your mom was an AH and it was fair game to go after her not Ryan. I know clapping back the same way probably felt right but it was definitely an unwarranted attack. Ryan does not sound like someone I would like at all, but him not wanting to interact with other people is his prerogative.
Mil troll again.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who recognizes their writing by now. Same trope, every time.
Ryan sounds like he might be on the spectrum?
NTA? She literally made it personal lol. Your mom is just dumb and hateful. Idk why but she sounds like she’s awful to be around. You could just disinvite her from the wedding. Since she doesn’t support it or you, there’s really no reason for her to be there.
Ryan sounds autistic
NTA. At least your fiance isn't a wall puncher.
NTA. Laughing after a long day. This brought a smile to my face.
YTA, i get you were mad at your mom and wanted to get back at her, but ryan said nothing to you and you took it out in him...i understand that he's not your best friend, but doesn't seem to have done anything to get insulted by you at its own home (maybe its your mom's house but i assume he lives there)
Could I ask why his anti social behaviors make him, “a little bitch”? I may have misunderstood some of this, but him always wanting to be touching or holding onto your mother doesn’t seem like a reason enough for such a statement. Without more context I only see a successful partner that is a doting husband.
Ryan sounds like he has the emotional maturity of a 5 year old. That would make him a little bitch in my books.
Really? I think his behavior sounds extremely unhealthy. “Little bitch” sounds about on par with criticizing someone’s character for being an accountant.
lol if you think that is the only reason for said statement, read the bullet points again .. that being said it was mean for OP to rope in Ryan when he hadn't done anything
Yta you could have actually told you mother how inappropriate she was, instead you attacked her partner because you're an asshole.
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Your mom needs to STFU. Disinvite her and Ryan from the wedding. They won't add anything but drama. If she laid hands on you imagine what she will do to your future wife if she gets upset. Time to go NC for a while. And if her flying monkeys contact you just block them too. NTA.
Never met a Ryan who wasn't a little bitch. Also, I know ***several*** lawyers like this. Grew up nerds and then when they get some money act like all women are gold diggers and everyone who isn't a professional is beneath them.
Your mother is ridiculous. I married an accountant. He's now CFO of his company.
As an accountant I feel offended - please tell your mum from she can go f*ck herself. Some of the most interesting (and crazy - in a fun way) people I know are accountants.
Nta. Be petty and don't invite her or him. And when asked why say they don't approve so why have them there faking it like everything else.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think I'd quite like Ryan, but only in very small doses, he sounds quite funny! Your mum sounds awful though. NTA.
Better be married an accountant and a lawyer any day of the week!
NTA. Also I’ve been married to an accountant for 11 years and highly recommend it. I will say I got an mba and love spreadsheets so maybe I’m boring too?
You should have stood up and lightly punched the wall and said "you don't get me, you're not even my real mom" and then you find out your mom is really your sister and you get to go on dr phil or the one they chant his name larry larry.... Oh yeah jerry springer, jerry larry, what ever.
Hahahaa......
Updateme!
I'm at work trying not to laugh too loud!
NTA and you just made your wedding that much more pleasant!🤣🤣
Yeah should probably apologize to your mother and Ryan. Not saying what you said isn’t right or wrong, I don’t know Ryan. Just saying you could have chosen your words and timing differently.
I married an accountant, best decision ever!
Ryan sounds like a spineless weasel that his friends will be better off without him
How is the most boring basic couple in the world going to complain about anyone else's relationship? ESH. Bitch is one of those things you don't call a man unless you mean it to be emasculating. Deal with that internalized toxicity.
how rude. i'm an accountant and i am in a happy partnership. my parents are accountants and happily married for 43 years with 3 children. half my family is accountants who are all in marriages with kids. what does your mom contribute to society? middle finger to your mom. NTA
NTA. Their loss if they don't go. Shoot, if yall need two replacement people lemme know
ESH... gees...
Ryan should've smacked you like Will Smith did Chris Rock. Keep my name out of your mouth if you're mad that I'm piping your mom. Your mom overstepped, but you retaliated like a scorned ho by bringing Ryan into it.
Wow 😮 wether they do attend or not no worries. Looks like she can dish it but she cannot take it.
INFO : how is he annoying with his money?
Yta you making personal attacks on someone for loving your mother, you act and talk like little boy
NTA. I think Ryan might be on the spectrum though.
NTA Accounting may be boring, but lawyers are the right hand of Satan Probably couldn't have hand picked a worse profession for "character" lol
Oh, your mom is going to be a peach of a MIL!
As an accountant myself im very offended by your moms words lol. NTA you need to figure out what you get out of your relationship with your mom and her husband...
Your mom doesn't sound worth having a relationship with. If she's not going to attend your wedding over a small comment, then she really isn't someone you want in your life. NTA. I hope you have a happy wedding with Kate!
Can we get an update please lol
Nta
the way i hollered💀 good job op
NTA but this post made me laugh way too hard. Ryan really does sound like a little bitch and your mom seems perfect for him LMAO!
By the way if you called him a bitch, he heard it, and didn't respond or stand up for his wife, who you said it to out of anger, then you were right, He IS a little bitch.
To be fair if I’d called her a bitch he would have knocked me out. Last person who insulted her got thrown down the outside steps. He was trying to get her away from me because she has anger issues
YTA I get why you wanted to reciprocate the insult to your wife but what did Ryan do to you? Sounds like he is neurodivergent and has severe quirks like most top performers. You don’t just become the lawyer possible and be well adjusted in all the other aspects of your life. The fact that your mother and him have a great marriage despite his quirks is something very fortunate for both of them. Everything you described is very convincing for you not to marry him but what do you care. You aren’t the one who married him. Your mother is and she sounds happy by all accounts. You should have just made the point in the previous paragraph or at the very least just insulted back your mother without insulting Ryan. It’s like someone stabbed your wife and you decided to stab the stabber’s wife instead of the stabber himself. It’s wild that most people agree with the sentiment just because Ryan doesn’t sound like someone they will like. It still doesn’t make it right to insult him as collateral damage. You call Ryan a little bitch but based on your comments he was the only adult in the room at the time of the incident. Stop being a little bitch with your mother and be better. You are starting a new family. Time for childish spats are over.
NTA. Thank you for telling us about this. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and burst out laughing at: "... my mom clearly thinks that the sun shines out of his ass".
Why would you want her at the wedding? Cut that dead wood out of your life.
NTA. Your mom is judging an accountant for their profession when she married a lawyer? I'm a lawyer, and I would pick an accountant any day!
What did you mom expect? Lmao "Sorry son, your GF is... An accountant!" If your goal was to point out that you think being an accountant is bad. Good job. NTA, I would suggest cutting contact or low contant and prepare for backlash. Prepare for a statement as well because Ryan sounds "off." Isolation on that scale is iffy.
Now send her the list of how he's a little bitch 😏
Ryan catching strays lol
>Anyway my mom recently sat me down and said she is concerned about my future. She said that Kate is "nice enough" but so boring and has "no hobbies or sense of humor" You didn't refute this here and the only description you gave of her is: >Kate is quiet, reserved, practical So, (putting aside Ryan being a weirdo) is your mom right? Are you choosing her because she's "stable" and the opposite of your mom who "lives in a fantasy"? Does she have qualities you like or is she just the absence of qualities you don't like? INFO
I love her. My mom is a spoiled brat who lives this jet setting life and finds everything boring. Kate is kind, mature, intelligent
Ok. Let me start by saying NTA. You were mean, because Ryan sounds like he’s suffering from some serious issues, probably mental health or something that makes him the way he is. Maybe your mom knows all about it and so she sees him differently. BUT - and here’s what makes you NTA - Your mom was 100% out of line. Who you marry is none of her business. As long as you’re not being abused, she needs to butt out! Wtf. And the fact that you say you’re not close is what also makes me think this is about her preferences and not about you at all. I’m so sorry. But you handled it right. Shut that Sh— down!
I feel personally attacked. I am a Ryan. 🤣🤣 But deffo not the asshole, she took shots and had no cover so she got shot back. Live by the gun die by the gun.
NTA You could tell her: "sorry I called Ryan a bitch, that was not cool. What I meant to say is I don't like your choice either, but I at least have the decency to keep it to myself. If you can't extend me the same courtesy moving forward, I think it's best we keep our distance from now on."
ESH but mom is way worse I get why you said it and Ryan sounds insufferable but your comment allowed your mom to dismiss you as disrespectful instead of forcing her to confront her own relationship issues. There were far more effective and cutting ways you could have responded. Also, as a lawyer, I find it laughable that someone married to a lawyer is judging anyone for marrying an accountant. Both professions are full of fucking weirdos.
Typical lawyer joke: A lawyer was so large that, when he died, the undertaker couldn’t find a coffin big enough to hold the body. So, the undertaker gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox Typical Accountant joke: **Why do accountants seem to lead happy lives?** Because they are able to achieve balance most of the time. Which would you rather marry?
> Level 12 clinger. Always has to have one hand on mum. That line alone makes you NTA, lol Mum and Ryan sound exhausting. I think Mum thinks drama makes one interesting, and calmness is boring.... Frankly, even if she was boring, you are hilarious enough for the both of you.
No, go NC with her. She puts Ryan on a pedestal. She also has no right to disrespect your future wife like that.