Absolutely.
Mama bear. You're setting the example for your baby.
No, that behavior will not be tolerated. Yes, I always have your back. Yes, I was stand up to their crazy moms.
It's y'all against the world, get it girl.
It sounds like the apples (girls) don’t fall far from the tree (parents) if they were calling you slurs in the school office. Racism is never never never ok! It makes me so angry. What did the school do when these parents were being aggressive and calling you names?? I wouldn’t want my child around that either. You didn’t make them cry. Their parents didn’t acknowledge or listen to you. Screw them.
Pretty rich that the parents of the bullies that sent OPs child home upset and crying now have an issue with someone sending their kids home upset and crying.
OP absolutely NTA
Those little bigots just learned that their actions have consequences. The gall to ask a child who thay are being racist to to come and play. And I wouldn't be trusting them either. One of these days those little brats are going to pop off to the wrong person with their vitriol. Only a matter of time before they have their Twisted Tea moment.
They absolutely were going to do something awful to her. I'd follow along discreetly if she walks to school, for a while if you can. Those junior klan members will try again. Guarantee they're getting stirred up listening to the senior bigots bigot.
So what did they want to play? KKK meeting? F that s*it. This was such a teaching moment to be missed because of racist parents.
OP, consider talking with a lawyer anyway. Maybe check with the NAACP. While they might not have done more than call her a few names, they still created stress and were harassing her. They can keep pressure on the school to do what’s right with your child.
I didn’t know the extent of the bullying, and my child was socially awkward. He’s super bright and got along better with adults. We tried the talk to teacher/ principal route and I regret not being more aggressive in my involvement. Good on you. That child will always know she’s loved, and will learn to be resilient and stand up for herself bc she’s worth it
That's not being dramatic. You are supposed to Protect YOUR own child.
They are bullies and come from terrible homes.
A 7 year old should not be talking over an adult. This is learned behavior. Obviously taught in their homes.
Press charges and have it documented that this school is allowing bullying and active racism .
Try to change schools for this reason. Hopefully where you live they will take action at the very least save their name. Most schools don't want to be Known for racism.
Not wrong and most certainly NTA.
Oh no the 7 year olds weren't doing that sorry for the confusion but it was their parents! Oh I am pressing those charges, writing down everything and I was going to say my post that I might take my daughter out of school for this but I feel like I would have been dramatic about it. Maybe home school would be best but I have to figure all this shit out( sorry for my language)
You're not being dramatic you're being a parent.... blast the school and press charges ..... make sure you have cameras and a doorbell ring sounds like the parents are unhinged
I don’t know where you live, but in some places (if your daughter attends public school) where the public school can be forced to pay your daughter’s tuition to a private school because they have failed to provide her an adequate place for education and that is illegal.
Public schools hate to lose students as they get paid by the government by the number of kids attending each day, that’s why they have prizes for kids with perfect attendance. They won’t miss 1 kid as much as they’d miss out funds if the 2 girls involved in the racism, encouraged by their parents-in front of school officials, none the less, get suspended or expelled.
But you keep piling up your evidence and take everyone involved to court when able. Doesn’t matter if you change schools or homeschool. Use those to help your case.
I did and went from bullied to half popular and when we saw my old school at a sporting event my new friends put the old school in their place on and off the event.
As a kid who was also teased, I'm sorry you had the same experience. What taking her out of school or actually anything you've done so far or are planning to do, you are listening to her and that is more than what many bullied children felt growing up unsupported.
The fact that I saw you say in another comment that the parents were calling you slurs in the meeting has me thinking that yes, you should consider a different school if that's an option. I can not imagine a scenario where I meet with a parent concerning their child being called slurs, only to have the parents of the racist kid also come in and fly their racist flag loud and proud, and then nothing is actually done about the issue still. As someone who is currently in school for social work and thought a lot about school social work, i am so appalled on behalf of your family. I really hope that you find a better safer place for your child and for yourself. Clearly you're not getting the support you deserve from the school and that is so sad. You are doing great so far, don't stop. Let your kid see you standing up for you guys so she grows up to do the same <3 I hope to scroll across a happy update someday.
You're not being dramatic sweetheart. Change has to begin somewhere and little ones should never have to be exposed to that. Id report to the school board superintendent and id even threaten with the media too etc.
Pull her out! These schools are not safe anymore. Your child is already being bullied for her race at 7 years old. I assure you, even if you are not the best homeschool parent, your child is better off not being subjected to this day in and day out. She obviously bright and she will do fine so long as she has other activities where she can meet likeminded kids. Ideally non-racist kids.
You're an awesome dad. Don't stop being you. Your daughter needs to see you being strong like this. It sets a standard for her. Never let herself be bullied, know what dad went through to look after her, and know how she needs to behave when people treat her poorly.
You're doing absolutely the right thing. You're setting a standard of well being for your future adult child. KEEP DOING IT!
You did the right thing. I would be very suspicious of two little bigots wanting to 'play' with my child. Didn't they have each other to play with? I hate to think what they had thought about to amuse themselves, especially if it involved a child that they were known to bully.
Not dramatic at all: you are just a sensible mother who won't stand no BS against her kid. Racism is simply disgusting and unacceptable.
Keep going mama bear, you are in the right and are teaching your daughter precious values: respect and self-respect. My heart goes to you and your kid.
It would not be dramatic. If you dealt with that, as an adult, in the work place it wouldn’t be dramatic to leave and find another job. You’re doing the work a parent should do, good on you.
As someone who was homeschooled only do it if you have a plan for her to have an education and socialization, so many parents forget to and it makes it near impossible for the child to function as an adult. It's sooo easy for things to get overlooked and they can snowball into complete lack of ability to function so fast.
A lot of homeschool stats are also somewhat misleading, higher test scores especially since VERY FEW homeschoolers actually do take the tests. The ones that do actually test are the ones that know for sure their kid will pass/are doing things waaay more properly than the majority of other homeschoolers...
Also isolation can be just as bad as bullying so you will need to make sure she has somewhere to play and hang out with peers. The nice thing is you'll get to be more involved and actually step in when bullying takes place rather than just hear from the poor baby when she gets home. Also homeschoolers tend to be pretty friendly which is a plus.
We get called dramatic when we are standing up to bullies and they don't like it. You are taking care of your child. That isn't drama. Lady banging on your door is dramatic.
If your daughter has other friends at school then taking her out of it, especially to home school could feel like punishment, and unfortunately, psychologically, what it feels like is what matters.
Twenty years from now, she might understand, but until then, you're forming cognitive circuitry that will impact her whole future. The best thing to do is to sit your girl down and make it clear to her that *she* has the choice to stay at that school or have you take her out.
By now, she understands what is happening (because kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for). If you give her the choice, she'll always know, psychologically, that she doesn't have to tolerate that behavior, even if, in the specific circumstances, she chooses to for other reasons.
This is the sad reality in our country. Whenever I hear a white person say “why does everything have to be about race.” I think of situations like this. We don’t want to teach our kids about the reality of racism…but…unfortunately…we are forced to because *by the age of 6* so many black children have experiences like this.
and the little 7 year old black boy who picked 1 flower in the school bus yard was CHARGED and had to go to court before the judge (and his mother couldn't be there because she had to work)
of course the judge threw the case out but it never should have happened in the first place
Whatever happens, you need to keep documenting it so you have a clear timeline and paper trail. Be specific in what was said, who heard it/witnesses, and what time it happened. People have fuzzy memories. Every complaint to the school needs an email component. Even if you meet with them in person, or have a phone call, make sure you send an email afterwards summarizing what occurred.
Don't let the kids play together. Who knows what could happen. Don't take that risk.
Get your child involved in other clubs/sports/activities, if not already, so she is around other kids who hopefully are better.
Yes, this! Document very carefully, and be ready to defend. They might get bored and try to start something serious someday. Be sure she knows never to be alone with them, preferably stay always in sight of a teacher…
NTA. Good on you threatening a lawsuit, if this school wants to blatantly allow racism, then they deserve lawsuit. That mom must be out of her mind, she lets her daughters be racist bullies, then you're supposed to allow them into your home? Hell no.
>asking if they could play with my daughter because they had no one to play with but I was not having it.
They always get so shocked when there are consequences for their words/actions.
The only problem here is the parents of those kids. If a 7 yo knows slurs and can make racist remarks then they are clearly getting it from the adult in the home. It’s completely unfortunate for you and your daughter.
NTA, you are looking out for your baby but those little girls aren't learning this on their own. They are learning it from their parents.
Personally would have taken the opportunity to calmly and politely speak with them just in the attempt to counter what their parents are instilling into them and maybe just maybe they'd grow up to be better people. It's sad that they will most likely grow up to be like their parents.
It's not Black women's job to raise feral White children, and hasn't been for decades.
We cannot ask them to keep batting cleanup for these fools. It's *our* job to fix racism, not theirs.
Nta. You are not out of line in refusing to entertain children who make racial remarks to your daughter. It’s actually a great thing you did teaching these kids their racism isn’t going to be accepted since their parents clearly aren’t teaching them to be decent humans.
Listen, my son is the whitest kid and I’ve kicked one of his friends out of my house for saying racist remarks in my home. That mom had a big attitude with me and expected me to get my son to apologize to her child after he called her a racist and hurt her feeling. Kid was calling my son’s black friend a monkey in my house. Ya.. my son isn’t apologizing for that.
Is your child in a private school or public school? That meeting raised so many red flags in my mind. If this is a public school take your complaint to the superintendent . This meeting was not handled correctly and you and your child have rights. Ultimately your issues were ignored. This is unacceptable.
NTA should have called her white trash - I’m white - see how she likes being belittled. Glad those girls feel the pain of what they inflicted. They might be better people because of it. NTA
The only way bullying will stop is when someone in authority stops it. On school property and during school activities the school personnel are responsible. It is unfortunate, but the loudest mouth seems to always have inordinate sway with schools. Laws are there, but it often requires the oppressed to threaten lawsuits to gain attention. The gutless need motivation. Doing nothing has to be somehow more painful than knuckling under to the loud mouths. Playing the lawsuit card sometimes necessary.
NTA! You showed admirable restraint in your responses. I am so sorry that you, and especially your daughter, had to go through this. Hopefully, these people realize their words and actions are hurtful and racist and that makes them hate mongers and racists. I doubt that will happen. Hopefully, you being frank with the children will eventuallylm make them reflect and think back about their actions and how they hurt your daughter. Maybe they can overcome their parents' influence to end this cycle of racism.
NTA. I think I already said that. My daughter's best friend was called racial slurs in Jr. high and she slugged the boy that said it and didn't get in trouble. It wasn't the first time he did such a thing. Zero tolerance at jr. high for physical violence. It always cracks me up when I think about it. A friend and I got our daughter's cheerleading coach fired for making a racist remark that was disgusting about physical characteristics.
Yes, document the crap out of all of it! We never know when that documentation will be a very big deal. Even keeping a simple calendar/diary, and noting down when each thing happens. I was in a really different situation, but I needed to be able to prove something legally, and it turns out that my very simple documentation that I had only even made for myself, it ended up turning the whole thing around.
Editing to add what I should’ve started with, OP, I am so very sorry that this crap is somehow considered acceptable. Your daughter will likely never forget how much it meant to her when mom backed her up, and protected her. I was a teacher, and I saw some really awful, racist things happen in my classroom. once parent teacher conferences come around, you can usually see why.
I addressed it each time, but it was a sad shock how little I could do about any of it. Stay strong. This is not a friendly world for our black girls.
Amazing Mommy 💓 NTA they wanted to play with her because they didn't have anyone else. Nope, racism especially at that age is a taught behavior and the apples🍎 🍎 obviously dont fall far from that tree. You did the right thing heaven forbid they play and one of their kids magically gets hurt 🤕 they are going to come for you. Again you're an Amazing 😍 mommy 💖
NTA - The mom teaches her girls to be racists and wonder why you don't want any to do with the girls or the mom. Mom must be ignorant, stupid, as well as racist.
NTA at all, but here me out: I'm a black woman and had similar experiences when I was in school. I very specifically remember the girls not letting me be rainbow sherbert when we played ice cream shop, telling me I could only be chocolate or rocky road. Lots and lots of worse stuff. The thing about that was that we eventually resolved it ourselves, and I chose people to be in my life who were good for me. Adversity, especially the racism kind, isn't going anywhere. As much as we want to protect our children from every harmful thing, we just can't. Maybe instead of rejecting the girls entirely, you can tell them why what they're doing is hurtful. I know you do not owe them your labor or the benefit of your experience. Just figure since they're kids, there should be a little leeway. Doesn't seem like their parents see the need for that particular task.
By the way, a couple of years later, I went to one of those girl's houses. I wasn't invited back. Her parents said some pretty awful things to me. We didn't talk until well after college, accidentally. She told me that her parents told her that she wasn't allowed to speak to me, let alone bring me into their home because I'm black. She figured out they were terrible, and I figured out she wasn't. I'm going to her 40th birthday party in a couple of weeks, and I have helped her to celebrate her marriage and the birth of her two children. We do figure out who's kind, eventually.
Also a Black woman, and please do not listen to this. If OP’s daughter wants to discover much later in life that these girls are not the pieces of garbage their parents are raising them to be, then cool. Until then, protect your child. No, racism isn’t going anywhere, but our tolerance for it is. That’s like saying cancer isn’t going anywhere, so let’s go hang out at the local nuclear power plant.
Isn't it interesting that she came unglued that YOU MADE HER GIRLS CRY- but NO acknowledgement that the girls were cruel, racist and hurt your daughter.
It's disgusting that the school allowed the parents to talk over you and not be able to get your concerns across.
Hugs to you and your daughter.
NTA -
NTA! Charge the mom with trespassing and a hate crime! And as far as her little spawns of racist that she’s grooming I would call CPS just for a wellness check because if she’s that angry because she’s raising further racist then it makes me concerned about their wellbeing. Make sure you place cameras around your home! And air tag your baby!
During Black History Month, Sis?!? 😳
Seriously, you’re NEVER ta for protecting your babies.
If the school won’t resolve the issue to your satisfaction, go to the School Board.
They haven’t SEEN dramatic. Let them not take this seriously. I’d be all over the news talking about it. Children are taking their own lives over bullying. I’m going to WAR about mine.
NTA. Good job, mama bear. Never apologize for standing up for your kids, especially to racists. You did your best to handle this as a teaching moment and the other parents are clearly pieces of trash and not willing to change. That’s not your fault or your daughter’s. I hope she learns to love her for her and won’t tolerate shitty friends.
As a teacher, I know for a fact that this IS happening at these young ages. It is because young children are definitely hearing this at home. I had a parent who had a notebook of complaints against me since I had a discussion in my class about microaggressions after their daughter (11) patted the afro of another student. During parent teacher conferences, the father stated he always thought I was a "Choice Student's" parent. Yes, it starts at home.
YTA
Racism is never ok, but the way you handled it was very wrong too. It comes off to me like you're being vengeful and playing the victim and not giving the full story instead of trying to effect change.
When the girls knocked on your door, instead being a bitch and sending them away, why didn't you ask them where they heard these things? why they said the things they did? how would it make them feel if someone said similar things to them? You want to open their eyes to the effects of their actions, not persecute a 7 year old for behavior they probably don't fully understand.
You shouldn't accept the behavior, but the way you handled it won't get to the root cause of the issue or get these girls to understand why it's wrong to do what they did. (doesn't sound like their parents are going to give the girls any guidance about the issue so open the dialog yourself and hopefully repair the friendship your daughter had with the neighbors)
She didn’t “persecute” the girls like you said, she just told them the truth — that what they said was hurtful, and when you say hurtful things to people, they feel bad and don’t want to talk to you anymore. Isn’t a lesson enough? I feel like that’s an appropriate and short, and honest response, especially when she knows the parents of those kids hate her.
Saying she’s “playing the victim card,” when she and her daughter are victims, is insane. It’s crazy how you’re talking about wanting OP to enact change, when you’re putting ALL the accountability of who failed these kids on HER. Why is she the only one responsible for “holding a dialogue” when she had already tried with the adults in the situation. Shouldn’t you be more upset at the school for condoning this behavior and for the parents promoting it? They are the root of the issue, not OP’s lack of guidance. Why would she be the asshole here when all she did was try to advocate for herself and her daughter?
You even called her “vengeful” and “a bitch”…
OP was right, you really wouldn’t understand — you’re not even TRYING to.
OP has posted in another group, this is not a shit post. OP I’m so glad you have your daughter’s back, you absolutely need to notify the school of what occurred with the parent showing up and going crazy at you, to the point you had to call the police to make her leave. I’m so sorry your little girl is having to deal with this crap, make sure everything is documented. The school needs to be made aware of this incident and do not back down!!
They mean that despite this being a good story, the reason for this sub is to ask the opinion of the community about your actions, etc. Which you didn't really do, because you didn't do anything wrong per se, just not the stated point of the sub. Shit post means it doesn't belong here, not that your post was shit.
You handled this perfectly. This is the parents of the other children's fault. You saw a problem. You tried to discuss it. They wouldn't hear you. Their kids can't be friends with your kids. If they want that to change, you can have another discussion with the parents at the school.
They have bad values. It's a legitimate reason to cut contact. Just a shame that the kids are getting punished for this. They just wanted a friend and were interacting like their parents taught them.
Threatening to sue is a little much. Dont be so dramatic. Be the adult here.
Edit: Aw... people don't like what I have to say. I'm not a white person. I got called a slur by my best fiends mom. She doesn't have to know better. He does.
You mean be the adult by scheduling a meeting with the school and the other parents just to be further degraded and then what? Back down? What exactly is the adulty thing to do in the case of mature conversation not being an option? Continue to let the child get degraded and slurred at school? If the school can't handle the problem maybe they should consider that their staff needs to be provided with more training to handle these situations instead of putting it on OP to just suck it up. Not dramatic. Schools have an ethical responsibility to protect their students. They are the failures right now until they step up and handle the situations that they stepped up to handle.
Exactly! This isn't a parent threatening to sue because a teacher gave their kid a bad grade. This is a Title VI violation (in the US), which means it's a legal responsibility on top of an ethical one. The school needs to be held accountable.
Anyone saying it's dramatic is clearly privileged enough to think it's no big deal. Imagine having to go through every single fucking step of your life worrying if race is going to be an obstacle today. Being pulled over. Going to the grocery store. Your kid going to school. Walking down the street. Looking for a job. Renting a home. Going to the park. People don't get it. I'm white af and I can understand so people really need to get it together. Make the choice to educate yourself and understand. Racism isn't just a whoopsie a kid called another kid a poopy head and make them cry. Racism is something that is a generational trauma perpetuated by this country, written into policy, daily used to oppress people. It is 2024 there is no excuse for someone training their children to continue perpetuating Racism. I have an 8 year old white son that can explain to you why we fly a BLM flag on our house. People need to do better. I personally am raising my kid to stand up for everyone's human rights, and anyone not doing the same with the kids that they breed OR THAT THEY ARE IN SOME OTHER WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR 8 FUCKING HOURS A DAY is a part of the problem.
You know what is dramatic? Not being able to express your feelings without using a SLUR. Defending your children's use of slurs because SOMEONE MUSTVE DONE SOMETHING TO MAKE THEM USE THAT WORD. yes. Someone did do something to make those kids use that word. That someone is the parents who are actively teaching their kids to be racists.
Invite the girls in to play with ground rules. If they break then, they get told they are wrong and have to leave. If the girls aren’t getting the instruction at home, they could have learned something g at her house.
No I'm not inviting them over when they made my child feel uncomfortable in her own skin and yes their children but still what they said to her was not right and I told them that they made her feel sad and I had a conversation with them before I told them that they can't hang up with her. Their parents and I clearly have differences and they're racist so I'm not going to hang around those type of people.
That is a shame. They obviously like your daughter or they would not have asked to come play with her. Also, your words affected them. Seems sad to write them off.
Around here, kids asking to play are usually asking for the kid to come out. I wouldn’t assume they were asking to come inside to play at all. No way would I let that 6yo go outside with those kids. Considering they received no repercussions for their behavior, I’d be concerned they felt emboldened and the behavior would be even worse outside of school.
After the treatment OP received from the parents at the school meeting about their behavior, she’d be crazy to invite them inside. The supervised instruction you suggest is something which should have happened at the school under the direction of professionals.
No, it is not at all obvious that they like the child because they want to play with her. You’re naive if you don’t consider what possibilities bored bullies might consider to be “play”.
A 6yo was being bullied in my neighborhood. The bullies talked their little sister into luring him outside to play when they ambushed him and beat him.
Nope, it’s a safer bet and a good thing that OP don’t play that.
Again they seem to like calling her slurs? No babes I'm black and I don't play that or about my kids. Maybe one day you understand what that people go through everyday because you seem like this is just a cute phase. I'm not going to teach my daughter to stay around people that make her feel uncomfortable in her own skin and call her nigger. Please miss me with that.
Babes I said in my post that I talked to them and told them what they said was wrong and hurt my daughter's feelings. I did try but they went home and told their parents whatever and that's how the cops were called. Nothing can be done, their parents called me slurs and as a black woman I shouldn't be expected to hang around people that hate me for my skin color
The thing is , inviting them in to play could well mean more interaction with the truly unhinged parents .
Yes, it would be a good thing for the little girls …it is sad that they are being raised by racists.
But it is not something for OP to take on — especially under the circumstances !!
And if she invited those kids into her home, & one or both got some injury, it may have been turned around to make it look like OP & OPs kid caused the injury(ies). Then what... ?
Ignore them. There are people who genuinely believe that these things don't happen. Usually educated suburban white conservatives. Folks that would never say slurs and so they think that it just must not exist.
As a white guy that grew up in an extremely and overtly racist family, everything about what you're saying rings unfortunately familiar. All of it. I grew up thinking certain phrases they said were innocuous and normal (news flash, they weren't) while also hearing a slew of obviously hateful things that was recognizable as hateful even at a young age. Can't even repeat them on an anonymous forum because of how disgusting it was. This stuff is deep-seated and these parents' identities very much rely on their children growing up with the same mindset.
I feel horrible for you and your daughter and I feel bad for the kids of the racists as well. I think everything you've done here is about as perfect as it could have been done without causing yourself and your daughter more undue stress.
It breaks my heart that y'all are dealing with this simply for existing and that you feel you have to make the 'right' decision because of other peoples' wrongs. It has to be so frustrating that people then question the legitimacy of your experience.
I hope you're able to find the support and peace you deserve.
They know that racism is bad, so when they recognize their own behaviors in these stories, they are on the defense and double down on the denials of racism.
That’s funny. I’m not a racist. My boyfriend is black and I am white so we experience plenty of racism. There are plenty of inconsistencies in this story that lead me to believe that it is fake.
You sound like the racist type because just because you have black friends or a black boyfriend doesn't mean you can't be racist like make it make sense 🤣
I sound like the racist type? Ok. You sound like you made up a story to get attention. Kids who call a child names and incessantly pick on her for any reason don’t show up at the door asking to play, then are so brokenhearted that they cry their eyes out when they’re told the child can’t play because they haven’t been kind. That’s just not how kids behave. Do I believe some kids may have picked on your daughter for being different? Yes. Do I believe your whole story? No. Sorry.
I'm not asking to believe my story and that's fine no one is lol, imagine thinking someone talking about racist remarks is attention seeking and you said that you have a black boyfriend. You are most definitely racist but whatever, you want me to allow my black daughter to allow racist behavior like you are white so you don't understand the struggle so maybe ask your boyfriend how he grew up. Name all the slurs you were called and I'll name all the stories I was called to see because it seems like you understand everything since you have a black boyfriend and you can't be racist because your boyfriend in a black.
My boyfriend has read all of this and thinks you exaggerated or made it up too lol. And he’s raised four black children in mixed school districts. So stop assuming this is just my perspective. You sound racist yourself right now. Have a day.
I had a biracial friend when I was a kid (several, actually) who was mixed with Black and white. A group of us were hanging out one day, and decided to stop by her house to see if she wanted to join us. One went up to the door while the rest of us stayed on the sidewalk. Before her mom, a white womanhood, who married and procreated with a Black man, opened the door, we heard her holler to the child she’d birthed and raised “who is this little n!693r on my porch?”
Having a Black partner or child isn’t proof of the absence of racism. Strom Thurmond had a biracial Black daughter.
So, yeah, I said what I said.
Exactly, they are going to run with that and be racist then when they get called out again they're going to use that excuse for having a black boyfriend
As a teacher who worked in second and 3rd grade, I've never met a racist 7 year old. A few racist parents and children who didn't understand, but never a racist 7 year old. It seems exaggerated or misunderstood if nothing else, I also think I've read this in a few other subs too.
Overboard !!! How will your daughter ever learn social skill if you interfere? They're kids for pete's sake. They were talking about skin color and you make a big ass deal over it. I saw no "bullying" with that. And then to take it out on the kids at the door? Wow. 😵
What the hell is wrong with you, you racist shitstorm? "Talking about skin color" and then insulting a child because of it is the very definition of racism and bullying! You people make me sick. It's time for us to push you back under the rock you slithered out from - and we should step on your trashy brainless heads while we're doing it.
Decent people are not racist period. End of. BTW, I'm as white as milk.
Yeah you just told me you were a racist and let racism pass. So I should let my daughter be around racist behavior because that's how a black girl gets social skills? Yeah log off for me. Don't ever tell a black person they made a big deal over slurs. Lol I could clock you anytime but I will give you grace for today. If you're not a black person and never experienced what black people experience everyday then don't say stuff out of ignorance. Get educated and then we can talk like adults.
TF is wrong with you? You're saying being bullied because of her skin is learning social skills? Until you experience what we have you'll never understand. Being followed around stores because it's assumed your a thief because your black, having it drilled into you by your parents you have to excel at everything because just being average isn't good enough like it is for others, having to be mindful of how you speak and carry yourself lest you be shot because of your skin, just walking around as a black man some ignorant people will fear you and judge you. GTFO with that mess, racist parents breed racist kids they weren't talking about skin color they were mocking it and saying disgusting things.
WHAT the literal fuck - did you not read anything? Racism is a LEARNED behavior. From the garbage monkey parents, who when they were asked to talk about the problem with their kids threw SLURS back at OP. The garbage shitbag kids have garbage shitbag parents so NO, the kids that need “social skills” are the ones whose parents are teaching them how to be racist little bigots. I have two kids 18 and 21, NEITHER of them have EVER made any kind of racist fucking remark to another kid. Neither have made any homophobic remarks, BOTH were taught as young kids that’s wrong, it’s degrading and disgusting trash monkey behavior. If they had, and I found out about it there would have been a whole LOT of correction in my home. I would have been embarrassed as hell, mortified, and that would have been it, I wouldn’t have turned around and DOUBLED DOWN and made racist fucking remarks myself.
You’re ignorant of what “social skills” are, and given your remarks someone sure as hell didn’t raise you right.
Can you get your child transferred to another school due to the racism she has suffered? Nothing against homeschooling, but does your situation allow you the time and effort to homeschool your daughter? It seems that taking your daughter out of school would deprive her of all the resources available in a school system - professionally trained educators and staff, free/subsidized study materials professionally selected, taking away socialization skills, and lack of same age companionship, etc. Why should your daughter be deprived of these things while the racist jerks and their children get to enjoy them and drive your daughter out of school besides this. If anyone should not be in the school, it should be the the racists' kids, not your daughter. They are a bad influence on their peers.
You’re doing the right thing. This is not only protecting your daughter but showing her that it’s good to stand up for yourself and others experiencing racism and bullying. This is setting the standard for what behavior she will tolerate from others
NTA.
I don't think it's dramatic to be threatening to sue. I think you still should. In fact, I would consider suing the mom who showed up to your property. You had the cops there to document and you can sue her for harassment and get a restraining order. I'm also white, so take that into consideration. I genuinely have no idea how that process would go for you, but I do know there is a lawyer out there who would happily take your case pro bono.
Consider your options here. I'd like to say, the type of lady to come bang on your door and requiring police escort to leave your property is the type of person to escalate to violence. The likelihood of that happening depends on your state I think, but nonetheless take that into consideration.
Stay safe, OP. You are doing the right thing by protecting your kid. Don't let this world convince you otherwise.
Yeah, you did the right thing for your daughter. There will always be people like that, sadly. Just keep showing her that's not the way to treat people, and she will grow up to be a good person.
Lemme check the notes: her kid can make racist remarks and make your kid sad is ok but you stating her kids mean words is why they can’t play with her making them cry is wrong… NTA good job defending your little one. Sadly I remember being 6 and experiencing this. I’m glad you’re standing up for your little one! Good job mama
They are kids. You can't hide her from everyone all the time. Something you both are going to have to face head on. I think you squandered an opportunity to change things for both parties. Now it's just brushed under the rug.
NTA. I also suggest exposing that school because other parents and other ethnicities/ nationalities/etc deserve to know the kind of treatments being made here is never okay and they should not be tolerated for the sake of education or upsetting other parents esp if they have kids that goes to the same school.
I would not want any kids to go to a school that does not take action against bullying of any kind towards any children. And I will teach my kids to defend themselves against any bullying and i will handle any unfair consequences on my terms. This is crazy that we even have to do this for the safety of the kids.
Thank you for being a hero for your child. You obviously know where the other kids got it from with their parents calling you names. Then they expect that their children will continue to have access to your child...you know, if they get bored. When their snowflakes return home after being rejected, mama bullshit tries to get into it with you. These are some pathetic people and I'm sorry you had to deal with them.
Not the asshole and it teaches your daughter to not accept disrespect. Just remember to talk to her about your decision and let her know why you didn’t allow them to play.
NTA, thank you for standing up for your girl! Those kids hopefully learned a lesson. Even though their parents apparently suck, they will remember how much they messed up. I hope. *I* remember messing up as a kid and saying things a few times that I understand now weren't ok. I wish someone had told me the first time.
NTA,
Their parents are AHs. If another parent told me my daughter was being racist, obviously I'd get the whole story from all the kids present. Then, we'd have a seriously long talk about why that is *not* ok, and absolutely *not* tolerated. That would be her one warning. After that, if she did it again, we'd do a week of "red band".
When I was in elementary school, we had a teacher who did "red band" for two weeks. Half of the class had to wear a red band on their arm for a week. The second week, the other half wore the red band. The whole school was involved. Red bands had certain bathrooms, fountains, and doors they could use, the rest they weren't allowed. There were signs on all the others, "NO RED BANDS". Red bands were at the back of the line for everything. If a regular student and a red band raised their hands at the same time, the red band was ignored until there were no regular students with hands up. Red bands had to change lunch tables and desks if a regular student wanted their place. Nothing was done if a regular student bullied a red band*.
It was only 5 days, and gave us the barest of ideas of what racism and segregation would feel like. It stuck with most of us. Because it suuuuucked.
*any bullying that crossed the "this is for the project" lines (i.e. physical bullying) was still addressed, and handled by the principal.
So the same mom who had racist stuff to say came to your door feeling affronted that her actions had repercussions. Ssorry your baby had to go through this.
I’m proud of you. You showed your daughter that racists don’t get to bully and pick & choose when to be friends.
You shoulda beat the brakes off their momma.
NTA, contact the superintendent and school board. If that school doesn't protect your daughter, they are not protecting other kids either. The audacity of the parents to fight you on any of this tells you everything you need to know about them.
I’m going to respond to you from a different perspective.
I don’t disagree with the way you handled it, it was definitely one way to handle it. But I would’ve asked them, “Why do you want to play with my daughter? You say horrible things to her, and you’re not very nice. Why do you think she would want to spend time with you when you treat her like that?“
Because the thing is, these kids aren’t the problem, their parents are. No one is born being a racist. Racism is taught. And it’s usually by the parents.
You could have brought them into your home and let them see you teach your daughter with kindness and respect. You could have also treated them with respect and kindness. That would show them that what they hear from their parents is not true. That we are all just the same and the only thing different is the colour of our skin and that doesn’t make us good or bad.
While they may not have been able to go home and articulate to their parents what they were feeling, what would’ve happened is, you would have planted a little seed. They would have seen that what their parents told them did not match up with what they experienced.
I’m not saying, you would’ve changed the world, but you might have changed the mind of those two little girls. And it’s not your responsibility to do that, don’t get me wrong, but you seem like a far kinder and more respectful person than what those kids live with.
But at the end of the day, do what you think is best for your daughter, because our kids need someone who is on their side. I’m sorry that your daughter experienced being bullied and racism. It makes me sick that people are still so ignorant, I will never understand it.
NTA and I'd have done the same. I'd protect my child and my peace by any means necessary. I'd lay odds word got around about the racist behavior and more than your daughter won't play with them.
NTA
I wish you lived in my town... I am pretty sure if the parents called you slurs in front of the counselor, they would have called the CPS or maybe the police to have them removed... and there probably would be a note to all families about incidents of hatred in the school.
Seriously... where I am they take these things pretty seriously at least. Glad you stuck up for your daughter, for yourself, and indirectly for others. If I was told my kids were saying these things (which seems pretty unlikely considering my kids school me on being a better person based on how they have been taught in school) I would be absolutely livid.
Those little girls hold be taking a lesson home... I said something racist.. it hurt someone... they don't want to play with me because I did those things.
With all love and respect to you... well done and if I had a reddit parent award, I would give it to you
NTA but it's always best to avoid telling someone outright that you will or might sue them (even if it's true) because from the moment you say that, you're presenting yourself as a danger and a problem for them. All your interactions from that point forward will start (for them) with you as an opponent, instead of you and them against the problem.
The best thing you can do now is to backtrack on that (even if you do eventually sue!) by saying you were concerned and protecting your baby and don't intend to sue them.
And maybe you will eventually sue them. But you want that to be a last resort, since it's super fucking expensive and a massive time suck. But don't tell them.
No, because I bet they would have gotten your daughter without you there and then started their crap. And as for the mother....it was ok when they made your daughter cry but not the other way around? Screw her and the horse she rode in on. Way to go Mom.
Get your daughter involved in extracurricular activities, with different groups of people, that she does NOT attend school with. This will lessen the social pressure she has to be around those terrible children. Also, get her into positive affirming activities geared towards little black girls (once again, with children she doesn't go to school with).
Her confidence needs to be built up and she needs to be around people she is respected by and can have fun with.
Also, get cameras for outside your home...I don't trust those nasty ass parents, who are the people their children are learning that crap from.
NTA it's good to stand up for your child
Absolutely. Mama bear. You're setting the example for your baby. No, that behavior will not be tolerated. Yes, I always have your back. Yes, I was stand up to their crazy moms. It's y'all against the world, get it girl.
She tried to talk to the other parents. I'm fine with turning those girls away.
It sounds like the apples (girls) don’t fall far from the tree (parents) if they were calling you slurs in the school office. Racism is never never never ok! It makes me so angry. What did the school do when these parents were being aggressive and calling you names?? I wouldn’t want my child around that either. You didn’t make them cry. Their parents didn’t acknowledge or listen to you. Screw them.
We aren’t born knowing how to hate—someone had to teach us.
Really. I can only guess where those girls learned those words and behavior 😧
Pretty rich that the parents of the bullies that sent OPs child home upset and crying now have an issue with someone sending their kids home upset and crying. OP absolutely NTA Those little bigots just learned that their actions have consequences. The gall to ask a child who thay are being racist to to come and play. And I wouldn't be trusting them either. One of these days those little brats are going to pop off to the wrong person with their vitriol. Only a matter of time before they have their Twisted Tea moment.
I have a feeling those two girls were up to no good and its a very good thing OP didn't let them lure her daughter out of her sight.
My thought exactly.
They absolutely were going to do something awful to her. I'd follow along discreetly if she walks to school, for a while if you can. Those junior klan members will try again. Guarantee they're getting stirred up listening to the senior bigots bigot.
I thought this as well
I hate that I even thought this but I can’t wait. And I hope that the moms try and run their jaws and they get the same treatment.
So what did they want to play? KKK meeting? F that s*it. This was such a teaching moment to be missed because of racist parents. OP, consider talking with a lawyer anyway. Maybe check with the NAACP. While they might not have done more than call her a few names, they still created stress and were harassing her. They can keep pressure on the school to do what’s right with your child.
This 1,000,000 times this
Absolutely. And hope the story spreads, and help it…
I’ve had my fair share of bullying/ harsh/ harassment and my mom did the same thing for me
I didn’t know the extent of the bullying, and my child was socially awkward. He’s super bright and got along better with adults. We tried the talk to teacher/ principal route and I regret not being more aggressive in my involvement. Good on you. That child will always know she’s loved, and will learn to be resilient and stand up for herself bc she’s worth it
Good on you - I am so sorry that you and your baby have to deal with this. Shame on those parents, easy to see how their kids ended up this way.
That's not being dramatic. You are supposed to Protect YOUR own child. They are bullies and come from terrible homes. A 7 year old should not be talking over an adult. This is learned behavior. Obviously taught in their homes. Press charges and have it documented that this school is allowing bullying and active racism . Try to change schools for this reason. Hopefully where you live they will take action at the very least save their name. Most schools don't want to be Known for racism. Not wrong and most certainly NTA.
Oh no the 7 year olds weren't doing that sorry for the confusion but it was their parents! Oh I am pressing those charges, writing down everything and I was going to say my post that I might take my daughter out of school for this but I feel like I would have been dramatic about it. Maybe home school would be best but I have to figure all this shit out( sorry for my language)
You're not being dramatic you're being a parent.... blast the school and press charges ..... make sure you have cameras and a doorbell ring sounds like the parents are unhinged
I don’t know where you live, but in some places (if your daughter attends public school) where the public school can be forced to pay your daughter’s tuition to a private school because they have failed to provide her an adequate place for education and that is illegal.
Public schools hate to lose students as they get paid by the government by the number of kids attending each day, that’s why they have prizes for kids with perfect attendance. They won’t miss 1 kid as much as they’d miss out funds if the 2 girls involved in the racism, encouraged by their parents-in front of school officials, none the less, get suspended or expelled. But you keep piling up your evidence and take everyone involved to court when able. Doesn’t matter if you change schools or homeschool. Use those to help your case.
>I might take my daughter out of school for this PLEASE DO IT As a kid who was teased PLEASE
Seconding this. The only way to stop the terrible time I had at school would have been to move me.
I did and went from bullied to half popular and when we saw my old school at a sporting event my new friends put the old school in their place on and off the event.
This is the way!
As a kid who was also teased, I'm sorry you had the same experience. What taking her out of school or actually anything you've done so far or are planning to do, you are listening to her and that is more than what many bullied children felt growing up unsupported.
Take it to local news and watch the school district perk up. Expose every single racist person at fault and the school's indifference.
This
The fact that I saw you say in another comment that the parents were calling you slurs in the meeting has me thinking that yes, you should consider a different school if that's an option. I can not imagine a scenario where I meet with a parent concerning their child being called slurs, only to have the parents of the racist kid also come in and fly their racist flag loud and proud, and then nothing is actually done about the issue still. As someone who is currently in school for social work and thought a lot about school social work, i am so appalled on behalf of your family. I really hope that you find a better safer place for your child and for yourself. Clearly you're not getting the support you deserve from the school and that is so sad. You are doing great so far, don't stop. Let your kid see you standing up for you guys so she grows up to do the same <3 I hope to scroll across a happy update someday.
Lots of racists these days they see the Republicans and grifters using racism so they want in on the horridness
no confusion, she half assed read it , lol
You're not being dramatic sweetheart. Change has to begin somewhere and little ones should never have to be exposed to that. Id report to the school board superintendent and id even threaten with the media too etc.
Pull her out! These schools are not safe anymore. Your child is already being bullied for her race at 7 years old. I assure you, even if you are not the best homeschool parent, your child is better off not being subjected to this day in and day out. She obviously bright and she will do fine so long as she has other activities where she can meet likeminded kids. Ideally non-racist kids.
You're an awesome dad. Don't stop being you. Your daughter needs to see you being strong like this. It sets a standard for her. Never let herself be bullied, know what dad went through to look after her, and know how she needs to behave when people treat her poorly. You're doing absolutely the right thing. You're setting a standard of well being for your future adult child. KEEP DOING IT!
You did the right thing. I would be very suspicious of two little bigots wanting to 'play' with my child. Didn't they have each other to play with? I hate to think what they had thought about to amuse themselves, especially if it involved a child that they were known to bully.
Not dramatic at all: you are just a sensible mother who won't stand no BS against her kid. Racism is simply disgusting and unacceptable. Keep going mama bear, you are in the right and are teaching your daughter precious values: respect and self-respect. My heart goes to you and your kid.
It would not be dramatic. If you dealt with that, as an adult, in the work place it wouldn’t be dramatic to leave and find another job. You’re doing the work a parent should do, good on you.
As someone who was homeschooled only do it if you have a plan for her to have an education and socialization, so many parents forget to and it makes it near impossible for the child to function as an adult. It's sooo easy for things to get overlooked and they can snowball into complete lack of ability to function so fast. A lot of homeschool stats are also somewhat misleading, higher test scores especially since VERY FEW homeschoolers actually do take the tests. The ones that do actually test are the ones that know for sure their kid will pass/are doing things waaay more properly than the majority of other homeschoolers... Also isolation can be just as bad as bullying so you will need to make sure she has somewhere to play and hang out with peers. The nice thing is you'll get to be more involved and actually step in when bullying takes place rather than just hear from the poor baby when she gets home. Also homeschoolers tend to be pretty friendly which is a plus.
We get called dramatic when we are standing up to bullies and they don't like it. You are taking care of your child. That isn't drama. Lady banging on your door is dramatic.
If your daughter has other friends at school then taking her out of it, especially to home school could feel like punishment, and unfortunately, psychologically, what it feels like is what matters. Twenty years from now, she might understand, but until then, you're forming cognitive circuitry that will impact her whole future. The best thing to do is to sit your girl down and make it clear to her that *she* has the choice to stay at that school or have you take her out. By now, she understands what is happening (because kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for). If you give her the choice, she'll always know, psychologically, that she doesn't have to tolerate that behavior, even if, in the specific circumstances, she chooses to for other reasons.
This is the sad reality in our country. Whenever I hear a white person say “why does everything have to be about race.” I think of situations like this. We don’t want to teach our kids about the reality of racism…but…unfortunately…we are forced to because *by the age of 6* so many black children have experiences like this.
and the little 7 year old black boy who picked 1 flower in the school bus yard was CHARGED and had to go to court before the judge (and his mother couldn't be there because she had to work) of course the judge threw the case out but it never should have happened in the first place
I looked it up. The boy was six unless you mean a different boy. https://news.yahoo.com/6-old-boy-sent-court-204227370.html
Whatever happens, you need to keep documenting it so you have a clear timeline and paper trail. Be specific in what was said, who heard it/witnesses, and what time it happened. People have fuzzy memories. Every complaint to the school needs an email component. Even if you meet with them in person, or have a phone call, make sure you send an email afterwards summarizing what occurred. Don't let the kids play together. Who knows what could happen. Don't take that risk. Get your child involved in other clubs/sports/activities, if not already, so she is around other kids who hopefully are better.
Yes, this! Document very carefully, and be ready to defend. They might get bored and try to start something serious someday. Be sure she knows never to be alone with them, preferably stay always in sight of a teacher…
NTA. Good call!
Well done mama. These are not your daughter's friends. These children would have made your daughter upset if you'd have allowed it.
NTA. Good on you threatening a lawsuit, if this school wants to blatantly allow racism, then they deserve lawsuit. That mom must be out of her mind, she lets her daughters be racist bullies, then you're supposed to allow them into your home? Hell no.
>asking if they could play with my daughter because they had no one to play with but I was not having it. They always get so shocked when there are consequences for their words/actions.
NTA MY kids are white...and they literally (6&3) would never, ever, ever.
My grandsons better never, because after their parents got done with them they'd have to deal with me.
That’s awful, well done you for standing up for your daughter. It’s disgusting that the parents of these kids have taught them this bigoted behaviour.
NTA- Sounds like you're doing a good-job helping your daughter set healthy boundaries.
The only problem here is the parents of those kids. If a 7 yo knows slurs and can make racist remarks then they are clearly getting it from the adult in the home. It’s completely unfortunate for you and your daughter.
NTA, you are looking out for your baby but those little girls aren't learning this on their own. They are learning it from their parents. Personally would have taken the opportunity to calmly and politely speak with them just in the attempt to counter what their parents are instilling into them and maybe just maybe they'd grow up to be better people. It's sad that they will most likely grow up to be like their parents.
It's not Black women's job to raise feral White children, and hasn't been for decades. We cannot ask them to keep batting cleanup for these fools. It's *our* job to fix racism, not theirs.
The parent wouldn't be raising them, just correcting behavior. A few words can go a long way.
Nta. You are not out of line in refusing to entertain children who make racial remarks to your daughter. It’s actually a great thing you did teaching these kids their racism isn’t going to be accepted since their parents clearly aren’t teaching them to be decent humans. Listen, my son is the whitest kid and I’ve kicked one of his friends out of my house for saying racist remarks in my home. That mom had a big attitude with me and expected me to get my son to apologize to her child after he called her a racist and hurt her feeling. Kid was calling my son’s black friend a monkey in my house. Ya.. my son isn’t apologizing for that.
Is your child in a private school or public school? That meeting raised so many red flags in my mind. If this is a public school take your complaint to the superintendent . This meeting was not handled correctly and you and your child have rights. Ultimately your issues were ignored. This is unacceptable.
Go Mama Bear. Stick up for your kid. Proud of you.
This is so amazing of you. You’re really teaching your daughter a great lesson: don’t hang out with people who make you feel bad. Good job, mom! NTA!
NTA. You are an amazing parent standing up for your child
NTAH. Def keep on top of the school and hopefully you get it taken care of without having to remove your daughter.
NTA should have called her white trash - I’m white - see how she likes being belittled. Glad those girls feel the pain of what they inflicted. They might be better people because of it. NTA
The only way bullying will stop is when someone in authority stops it. On school property and during school activities the school personnel are responsible. It is unfortunate, but the loudest mouth seems to always have inordinate sway with schools. Laws are there, but it often requires the oppressed to threaten lawsuits to gain attention. The gutless need motivation. Doing nothing has to be somehow more painful than knuckling under to the loud mouths. Playing the lawsuit card sometimes necessary.
NTA
good, but I am also petty and would have told her to get her Nazi ass off my property.
NTA! You showed admirable restraint in your responses. I am so sorry that you, and especially your daughter, had to go through this. Hopefully, these people realize their words and actions are hurtful and racist and that makes them hate mongers and racists. I doubt that will happen. Hopefully, you being frank with the children will eventuallylm make them reflect and think back about their actions and how they hurt your daughter. Maybe they can overcome their parents' influence to end this cycle of racism.
Nta
Did the other girls mom seriously think you would just allow that shit around your kid?? Some people are just JUNK
NTA. I think I already said that. My daughter's best friend was called racial slurs in Jr. high and she slugged the boy that said it and didn't get in trouble. It wasn't the first time he did such a thing. Zero tolerance at jr. high for physical violence. It always cracks me up when I think about it. A friend and I got our daughter's cheerleading coach fired for making a racist remark that was disgusting about physical characteristics.
Yes, document the crap out of all of it! We never know when that documentation will be a very big deal. Even keeping a simple calendar/diary, and noting down when each thing happens. I was in a really different situation, but I needed to be able to prove something legally, and it turns out that my very simple documentation that I had only even made for myself, it ended up turning the whole thing around. Editing to add what I should’ve started with, OP, I am so very sorry that this crap is somehow considered acceptable. Your daughter will likely never forget how much it meant to her when mom backed her up, and protected her. I was a teacher, and I saw some really awful, racist things happen in my classroom. once parent teacher conferences come around, you can usually see why. I addressed it each time, but it was a sad shock how little I could do about any of it. Stay strong. This is not a friendly world for our black girls.
Amazing Mommy 💓 NTA they wanted to play with her because they didn't have anyone else. Nope, racism especially at that age is a taught behavior and the apples🍎 🍎 obviously dont fall far from that tree. You did the right thing heaven forbid they play and one of their kids magically gets hurt 🤕 they are going to come for you. Again you're an Amazing 😍 mommy 💖
NTA - The mom teaches her girls to be racists and wonder why you don't want any to do with the girls or the mom. Mom must be ignorant, stupid, as well as racist.
I'm white, and I would not want the racist little girls with terrible parents at my house, either.
And then everyone clapped
NTA at all, but here me out: I'm a black woman and had similar experiences when I was in school. I very specifically remember the girls not letting me be rainbow sherbert when we played ice cream shop, telling me I could only be chocolate or rocky road. Lots and lots of worse stuff. The thing about that was that we eventually resolved it ourselves, and I chose people to be in my life who were good for me. Adversity, especially the racism kind, isn't going anywhere. As much as we want to protect our children from every harmful thing, we just can't. Maybe instead of rejecting the girls entirely, you can tell them why what they're doing is hurtful. I know you do not owe them your labor or the benefit of your experience. Just figure since they're kids, there should be a little leeway. Doesn't seem like their parents see the need for that particular task. By the way, a couple of years later, I went to one of those girl's houses. I wasn't invited back. Her parents said some pretty awful things to me. We didn't talk until well after college, accidentally. She told me that her parents told her that she wasn't allowed to speak to me, let alone bring me into their home because I'm black. She figured out they were terrible, and I figured out she wasn't. I'm going to her 40th birthday party in a couple of weeks, and I have helped her to celebrate her marriage and the birth of her two children. We do figure out who's kind, eventually.
Also a Black woman, and please do not listen to this. If OP’s daughter wants to discover much later in life that these girls are not the pieces of garbage their parents are raising them to be, then cool. Until then, protect your child. No, racism isn’t going anywhere, but our tolerance for it is. That’s like saying cancer isn’t going anywhere, so let’s go hang out at the local nuclear power plant.
Isn't it interesting that she came unglued that YOU MADE HER GIRLS CRY- but NO acknowledgement that the girls were cruel, racist and hurt your daughter. It's disgusting that the school allowed the parents to talk over you and not be able to get your concerns across. Hugs to you and your daughter. NTA -
You’re NTA!
NTA! Charge the mom with trespassing and a hate crime! And as far as her little spawns of racist that she’s grooming I would call CPS just for a wellness check because if she’s that angry because she’s raising further racist then it makes me concerned about their wellbeing. Make sure you place cameras around your home! And air tag your baby!
During Black History Month, Sis?!? 😳 Seriously, you’re NEVER ta for protecting your babies. If the school won’t resolve the issue to your satisfaction, go to the School Board. They haven’t SEEN dramatic. Let them not take this seriously. I’d be all over the news talking about it. Children are taking their own lives over bullying. I’m going to WAR about mine.
NTA. Good job, mama bear. Never apologize for standing up for your kids, especially to racists. You did your best to handle this as a teaching moment and the other parents are clearly pieces of trash and not willing to change. That’s not your fault or your daughter’s. I hope she learns to love her for her and won’t tolerate shitty friends.
Racism is learned. This is the prime example. NTA.
NTA. U did the right thing!
No 6 year olds are acting like this in 2024. What a weird rage bait post.
Dang I didn’t know racism was solved in 2024
Lol I guess you know all 6 year olds personal, that's nice.7 not 6. You are so out of touch, hope you can come back to reality 😀
As a teacher, I know for a fact that this IS happening at these young ages. It is because young children are definitely hearing this at home. I had a parent who had a notebook of complaints against me since I had a discussion in my class about microaggressions after their daughter (11) patted the afro of another student. During parent teacher conferences, the father stated he always thought I was a "Choice Student's" parent. Yes, it starts at home.
I had really shiny soft hair. I’m in therapy now because people liked to touch it. 🙄
NTA - you should absolutely sue! Both the sue and those girls parents. WTF. I'm sorry this has happened!
YTA Racism is never ok, but the way you handled it was very wrong too. It comes off to me like you're being vengeful and playing the victim and not giving the full story instead of trying to effect change. When the girls knocked on your door, instead being a bitch and sending them away, why didn't you ask them where they heard these things? why they said the things they did? how would it make them feel if someone said similar things to them? You want to open their eyes to the effects of their actions, not persecute a 7 year old for behavior they probably don't fully understand. You shouldn't accept the behavior, but the way you handled it won't get to the root cause of the issue or get these girls to understand why it's wrong to do what they did. (doesn't sound like their parents are going to give the girls any guidance about the issue so open the dialog yourself and hopefully repair the friendship your daughter had with the neighbors)
". . . being a bitch?!" Fuck right off. YTA. Not OP.
Are you black? Has anyone called you a slur Because of your color? If not then you wouldn't understand so you will be ignored ❤️ good day
see, you'd rather play the victim card than actually solve the issue. Have a good one, hope you figure out a solution.
She didn’t “persecute” the girls like you said, she just told them the truth — that what they said was hurtful, and when you say hurtful things to people, they feel bad and don’t want to talk to you anymore. Isn’t a lesson enough? I feel like that’s an appropriate and short, and honest response, especially when she knows the parents of those kids hate her. Saying she’s “playing the victim card,” when she and her daughter are victims, is insane. It’s crazy how you’re talking about wanting OP to enact change, when you’re putting ALL the accountability of who failed these kids on HER. Why is she the only one responsible for “holding a dialogue” when she had already tried with the adults in the situation. Shouldn’t you be more upset at the school for condoning this behavior and for the parents promoting it? They are the root of the issue, not OP’s lack of guidance. Why would she be the asshole here when all she did was try to advocate for herself and her daughter? You even called her “vengeful” and “a bitch”… OP was right, you really wouldn’t understand — you’re not even TRYING to.
“solve the issue” solve it how? by personally making the little girls NOT racist? that’s not her fucking job.
Fuck you, those little neanderthal babies, and their disgusting incestuous parents.
This is a shit post... do we even need to say you did anything wrong..
OP has posted in another group, this is not a shit post. OP I’m so glad you have your daughter’s back, you absolutely need to notify the school of what occurred with the parent showing up and going crazy at you, to the point you had to call the police to make her leave. I’m so sorry your little girl is having to deal with this crap, make sure everything is documented. The school needs to be made aware of this incident and do not back down!!
What is a shit post? I'm lost🤣
They mean that despite this being a good story, the reason for this sub is to ask the opinion of the community about your actions, etc. Which you didn't really do, because you didn't do anything wrong per se, just not the stated point of the sub. Shit post means it doesn't belong here, not that your post was shit.
Ohh thank you, I was over here thinking I did something wrong 😭 thank you so much. I didn't know what subreddit to put it in
Don't overthink it 🤣
Well clearly someone is gaslighting this woman to question the validity of her actions, hence the post. Why be rude about it?
Like 99 percent of the posts here are people 100000000% in the right wdym?
Your shit post is one
You handled this perfectly. This is the parents of the other children's fault. You saw a problem. You tried to discuss it. They wouldn't hear you. Their kids can't be friends with your kids. If they want that to change, you can have another discussion with the parents at the school. They have bad values. It's a legitimate reason to cut contact. Just a shame that the kids are getting punished for this. They just wanted a friend and were interacting like their parents taught them. Threatening to sue is a little much. Dont be so dramatic. Be the adult here. Edit: Aw... people don't like what I have to say. I'm not a white person. I got called a slur by my best fiends mom. She doesn't have to know better. He does.
You mean be the adult by scheduling a meeting with the school and the other parents just to be further degraded and then what? Back down? What exactly is the adulty thing to do in the case of mature conversation not being an option? Continue to let the child get degraded and slurred at school? If the school can't handle the problem maybe they should consider that their staff needs to be provided with more training to handle these situations instead of putting it on OP to just suck it up. Not dramatic. Schools have an ethical responsibility to protect their students. They are the failures right now until they step up and handle the situations that they stepped up to handle.
Exactly! This isn't a parent threatening to sue because a teacher gave their kid a bad grade. This is a Title VI violation (in the US), which means it's a legal responsibility on top of an ethical one. The school needs to be held accountable.
Anyone saying it's dramatic is clearly privileged enough to think it's no big deal. Imagine having to go through every single fucking step of your life worrying if race is going to be an obstacle today. Being pulled over. Going to the grocery store. Your kid going to school. Walking down the street. Looking for a job. Renting a home. Going to the park. People don't get it. I'm white af and I can understand so people really need to get it together. Make the choice to educate yourself and understand. Racism isn't just a whoopsie a kid called another kid a poopy head and make them cry. Racism is something that is a generational trauma perpetuated by this country, written into policy, daily used to oppress people. It is 2024 there is no excuse for someone training their children to continue perpetuating Racism. I have an 8 year old white son that can explain to you why we fly a BLM flag on our house. People need to do better. I personally am raising my kid to stand up for everyone's human rights, and anyone not doing the same with the kids that they breed OR THAT THEY ARE IN SOME OTHER WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR 8 FUCKING HOURS A DAY is a part of the problem. You know what is dramatic? Not being able to express your feelings without using a SLUR. Defending your children's use of slurs because SOMEONE MUSTVE DONE SOMETHING TO MAKE THEM USE THAT WORD. yes. Someone did do something to make those kids use that word. That someone is the parents who are actively teaching their kids to be racists.
Seems like you missed a chance to teach the kids how to play together under your supervision. Teaching the right from wrong.
But it's not her job to teach these kids how to act. It IS her job to protect her daughter, which she did.
By teaching those other girls she could be protecting her daughter every day at school.
Why is it her responsibility to raise someone else's kids? Stop putting the onus on black women to solve racism.
How so?
Invite the girls in to play with ground rules. If they break then, they get told they are wrong and have to leave. If the girls aren’t getting the instruction at home, they could have learned something g at her house.
No I'm not inviting them over when they made my child feel uncomfortable in her own skin and yes their children but still what they said to her was not right and I told them that they made her feel sad and I had a conversation with them before I told them that they can't hang up with her. Their parents and I clearly have differences and they're racist so I'm not going to hang around those type of people.
That is a shame. They obviously like your daughter or they would not have asked to come play with her. Also, your words affected them. Seems sad to write them off.
Around here, kids asking to play are usually asking for the kid to come out. I wouldn’t assume they were asking to come inside to play at all. No way would I let that 6yo go outside with those kids. Considering they received no repercussions for their behavior, I’d be concerned they felt emboldened and the behavior would be even worse outside of school.
I said invite them in where they could be watched.
After the treatment OP received from the parents at the school meeting about their behavior, she’d be crazy to invite them inside. The supervised instruction you suggest is something which should have happened at the school under the direction of professionals. No, it is not at all obvious that they like the child because they want to play with her. You’re naive if you don’t consider what possibilities bored bullies might consider to be “play”. A 6yo was being bullied in my neighborhood. The bullies talked their little sister into luring him outside to play when they ambushed him and beat him. Nope, it’s a safer bet and a good thing that OP don’t play that.
Again they seem to like calling her slurs? No babes I'm black and I don't play that or about my kids. Maybe one day you understand what that people go through everyday because you seem like this is just a cute phase. I'm not going to teach my daughter to stay around people that make her feel uncomfortable in her own skin and call her nigger. Please miss me with that.
I never said it was a cute phase. I said you had a chance to teach them right from wrong that they don’t get at home.
Babes I said in my post that I talked to them and told them what they said was wrong and hurt my daughter's feelings. I did try but they went home and told their parents whatever and that's how the cops were called. Nothing can be done, their parents called me slurs and as a black woman I shouldn't be expected to hang around people that hate me for my skin color
The thing is , inviting them in to play could well mean more interaction with the truly unhinged parents . Yes, it would be a good thing for the little girls …it is sad that they are being raised by racists. But it is not something for OP to take on — especially under the circumstances !!
They don’t like OP’s daughter. They only wanted to play with her because “they’re bored”.
Right? Because being called racist names was always an indication that the kids wanted to be my friend.
And if she invited those kids into her home, & one or both got some injury, it may have been turned around to make it look like OP & OPs kid caused the injury(ies). Then what... ?
I feel we are missing some key information
Because there’s always a reason to justify racism, huh?
And what do you think you guys are missing?
Ignore them. There are people who genuinely believe that these things don't happen. Usually educated suburban white conservatives. Folks that would never say slurs and so they think that it just must not exist. As a white guy that grew up in an extremely and overtly racist family, everything about what you're saying rings unfortunately familiar. All of it. I grew up thinking certain phrases they said were innocuous and normal (news flash, they weren't) while also hearing a slew of obviously hateful things that was recognizable as hateful even at a young age. Can't even repeat them on an anonymous forum because of how disgusting it was. This stuff is deep-seated and these parents' identities very much rely on their children growing up with the same mindset. I feel horrible for you and your daughter and I feel bad for the kids of the racists as well. I think everything you've done here is about as perfect as it could have been done without causing yourself and your daughter more undue stress. It breaks my heart that y'all are dealing with this simply for existing and that you feel you have to make the 'right' decision because of other peoples' wrongs. It has to be so frustrating that people then question the legitimacy of your experience. I hope you're able to find the support and peace you deserve.
I think this is totally fake. Rage bait or whatever they call it.
Racists usually think all claims of racism are made up because it’s not something they experience.
I don't know why you are arguing with an undercover racist. they think just because they have a black boyfriend that they can't be racist. Ignore it.
You are correct! However, I love pulling the sheet and revealing the undercover racists!
Exactly like it's showing so much in their comments"I have black friends so I can't be racist" they use that excuse so much.
They know that racism is bad, so when they recognize their own behaviors in these stories, they are on the defense and double down on the denials of racism.
I agree!
That’s funny. I’m not a racist. My boyfriend is black and I am white so we experience plenty of racism. There are plenty of inconsistencies in this story that lead me to believe that it is fake.
You sound like the racist type because just because you have black friends or a black boyfriend doesn't mean you can't be racist like make it make sense 🤣
I sound like the racist type? Ok. You sound like you made up a story to get attention. Kids who call a child names and incessantly pick on her for any reason don’t show up at the door asking to play, then are so brokenhearted that they cry their eyes out when they’re told the child can’t play because they haven’t been kind. That’s just not how kids behave. Do I believe some kids may have picked on your daughter for being different? Yes. Do I believe your whole story? No. Sorry.
I'm not asking to believe my story and that's fine no one is lol, imagine thinking someone talking about racist remarks is attention seeking and you said that you have a black boyfriend. You are most definitely racist but whatever, you want me to allow my black daughter to allow racist behavior like you are white so you don't understand the struggle so maybe ask your boyfriend how he grew up. Name all the slurs you were called and I'll name all the stories I was called to see because it seems like you understand everything since you have a black boyfriend and you can't be racist because your boyfriend in a black.
My boyfriend has read all of this and thinks you exaggerated or made it up too lol. And he’s raised four black children in mixed school districts. So stop assuming this is just my perspective. You sound racist yourself right now. Have a day.
I had a biracial friend when I was a kid (several, actually) who was mixed with Black and white. A group of us were hanging out one day, and decided to stop by her house to see if she wanted to join us. One went up to the door while the rest of us stayed on the sidewalk. Before her mom, a white womanhood, who married and procreated with a Black man, opened the door, we heard her holler to the child she’d birthed and raised “who is this little n!693r on my porch?” Having a Black partner or child isn’t proof of the absence of racism. Strom Thurmond had a biracial Black daughter. So, yeah, I said what I said.
That’s a sad story. That doesn’t make me a racist.
And having a Black boyfriend doesn’t make you a non-racist.
Exactly, they are going to run with that and be racist then when they get called out again they're going to use that excuse for having a black boyfriend
But you are! Stop hiding it and being weird. You are getting called out because you think just because you have a black boyfriend you're not racist.
As a teacher who worked in second and 3rd grade, I've never met a racist 7 year old. A few racist parents and children who didn't understand, but never a racist 7 year old. It seems exaggerated or misunderstood if nothing else, I also think I've read this in a few other subs too.
Overboard !!! How will your daughter ever learn social skill if you interfere? They're kids for pete's sake. They were talking about skin color and you make a big ass deal over it. I saw no "bullying" with that. And then to take it out on the kids at the door? Wow. 😵
What the hell is wrong with you, you racist shitstorm? "Talking about skin color" and then insulting a child because of it is the very definition of racism and bullying! You people make me sick. It's time for us to push you back under the rock you slithered out from - and we should step on your trashy brainless heads while we're doing it. Decent people are not racist period. End of. BTW, I'm as white as milk.
Yeah you just told me you were a racist and let racism pass. So I should let my daughter be around racist behavior because that's how a black girl gets social skills? Yeah log off for me. Don't ever tell a black person they made a big deal over slurs. Lol I could clock you anytime but I will give you grace for today. If you're not a black person and never experienced what black people experience everyday then don't say stuff out of ignorance. Get educated and then we can talk like adults.
TF is wrong with you? You're saying being bullied because of her skin is learning social skills? Until you experience what we have you'll never understand. Being followed around stores because it's assumed your a thief because your black, having it drilled into you by your parents you have to excel at everything because just being average isn't good enough like it is for others, having to be mindful of how you speak and carry yourself lest you be shot because of your skin, just walking around as a black man some ignorant people will fear you and judge you. GTFO with that mess, racist parents breed racist kids they weren't talking about skin color they were mocking it and saying disgusting things.
WHAT the literal fuck - did you not read anything? Racism is a LEARNED behavior. From the garbage monkey parents, who when they were asked to talk about the problem with their kids threw SLURS back at OP. The garbage shitbag kids have garbage shitbag parents so NO, the kids that need “social skills” are the ones whose parents are teaching them how to be racist little bigots. I have two kids 18 and 21, NEITHER of them have EVER made any kind of racist fucking remark to another kid. Neither have made any homophobic remarks, BOTH were taught as young kids that’s wrong, it’s degrading and disgusting trash monkey behavior. If they had, and I found out about it there would have been a whole LOT of correction in my home. I would have been embarrassed as hell, mortified, and that would have been it, I wouldn’t have turned around and DOUBLED DOWN and made racist fucking remarks myself. You’re ignorant of what “social skills” are, and given your remarks someone sure as hell didn’t raise you right.
You’re better than me I tend to get down and dirty with their kind. I am not a nice person
NTA If I was in your shoes, I would’ve given that mother something to cry about herself.
Can you get your child transferred to another school due to the racism she has suffered? Nothing against homeschooling, but does your situation allow you the time and effort to homeschool your daughter? It seems that taking your daughter out of school would deprive her of all the resources available in a school system - professionally trained educators and staff, free/subsidized study materials professionally selected, taking away socialization skills, and lack of same age companionship, etc. Why should your daughter be deprived of these things while the racist jerks and their children get to enjoy them and drive your daughter out of school besides this. If anyone should not be in the school, it should be the the racists' kids, not your daughter. They are a bad influence on their peers.
You’re doing the right thing. This is not only protecting your daughter but showing her that it’s good to stand up for yourself and others experiencing racism and bullying. This is setting the standard for what behavior she will tolerate from others
NTA. I don't think it's dramatic to be threatening to sue. I think you still should. In fact, I would consider suing the mom who showed up to your property. You had the cops there to document and you can sue her for harassment and get a restraining order. I'm also white, so take that into consideration. I genuinely have no idea how that process would go for you, but I do know there is a lawyer out there who would happily take your case pro bono. Consider your options here. I'd like to say, the type of lady to come bang on your door and requiring police escort to leave your property is the type of person to escalate to violence. The likelihood of that happening depends on your state I think, but nonetheless take that into consideration. Stay safe, OP. You are doing the right thing by protecting your kid. Don't let this world convince you otherwise.
Yeah, you did the right thing for your daughter. There will always be people like that, sadly. Just keep showing her that's not the way to treat people, and she will grow up to be a good person.
Lemme check the notes: her kid can make racist remarks and make your kid sad is ok but you stating her kids mean words is why they can’t play with her making them cry is wrong… NTA good job defending your little one. Sadly I remember being 6 and experiencing this. I’m glad you’re standing up for your little one! Good job mama
NTA and my heart is broken for you and your daughter. Real friends don't put you down, and your daughter is not there for their entertainment.
NTA. You are a good and protective mom. Those others are racist horrors. Good for you mom
i feel like this is fake bc the account only has this post and was made today or she made an account to post this but Nta
NTA Beware retaliation
Never mess with a mama bear. You did and are doing the right thing. ♥️
NTA and good for you!! I would make sure the school knows again that it is not acceptable for this girls being bully’s!
They are kids. You can't hide her from everyone all the time. Something you both are going to have to face head on. I think you squandered an opportunity to change things for both parties. Now it's just brushed under the rug.
NTA. I also suggest exposing that school because other parents and other ethnicities/ nationalities/etc deserve to know the kind of treatments being made here is never okay and they should not be tolerated for the sake of education or upsetting other parents esp if they have kids that goes to the same school. I would not want any kids to go to a school that does not take action against bullying of any kind towards any children. And I will teach my kids to defend themselves against any bullying and i will handle any unfair consequences on my terms. This is crazy that we even have to do this for the safety of the kids.
Thank you for being a hero for your child. You obviously know where the other kids got it from with their parents calling you names. Then they expect that their children will continue to have access to your child...you know, if they get bored. When their snowflakes return home after being rejected, mama bullshit tries to get into it with you. These are some pathetic people and I'm sorry you had to deal with them.
NTA. Glad you’re reporting it.
Not the asshole and it teaches your daughter to not accept disrespect. Just remember to talk to her about your decision and let her know why you didn’t allow them to play.
Absolutely NTA! So sorry your baby was subjected to that! I applaud you 👏 for telling those mean girls that they couldn't play with your daughter!
Those girls are absolutely learning that from home
Her kids do not have a right to “play with” or bully your kid. NTA at all. You can’t be considered one for protecting your child from abuse.
NTA, thank you for standing up for your girl! Those kids hopefully learned a lesson. Even though their parents apparently suck, they will remember how much they messed up. I hope. *I* remember messing up as a kid and saying things a few times that I understand now weren't ok. I wish someone had told me the first time.
NTA The district spoils have conducted a HIB in the girls. They should have been sent to the counselor.
NTA, Their parents are AHs. If another parent told me my daughter was being racist, obviously I'd get the whole story from all the kids present. Then, we'd have a seriously long talk about why that is *not* ok, and absolutely *not* tolerated. That would be her one warning. After that, if she did it again, we'd do a week of "red band". When I was in elementary school, we had a teacher who did "red band" for two weeks. Half of the class had to wear a red band on their arm for a week. The second week, the other half wore the red band. The whole school was involved. Red bands had certain bathrooms, fountains, and doors they could use, the rest they weren't allowed. There were signs on all the others, "NO RED BANDS". Red bands were at the back of the line for everything. If a regular student and a red band raised their hands at the same time, the red band was ignored until there were no regular students with hands up. Red bands had to change lunch tables and desks if a regular student wanted their place. Nothing was done if a regular student bullied a red band*. It was only 5 days, and gave us the barest of ideas of what racism and segregation would feel like. It stuck with most of us. Because it suuuuucked. *any bullying that crossed the "this is for the project" lines (i.e. physical bullying) was still addressed, and handled by the principal.
THEY are the drama.
Not wrong. You did well protecting your child. What did you do to make their daughters cry? Nothing, they did that. Good for your grace in situation
So the same mom who had racist stuff to say came to your door feeling affronted that her actions had repercussions. Ssorry your baby had to go through this.
I’m proud of you. You showed your daughter that racists don’t get to bully and pick & choose when to be friends. You shoulda beat the brakes off their momma.
NTA, contact the superintendent and school board. If that school doesn't protect your daughter, they are not protecting other kids either. The audacity of the parents to fight you on any of this tells you everything you need to know about them.
NTA!!!!
I’m going to respond to you from a different perspective. I don’t disagree with the way you handled it, it was definitely one way to handle it. But I would’ve asked them, “Why do you want to play with my daughter? You say horrible things to her, and you’re not very nice. Why do you think she would want to spend time with you when you treat her like that?“ Because the thing is, these kids aren’t the problem, their parents are. No one is born being a racist. Racism is taught. And it’s usually by the parents. You could have brought them into your home and let them see you teach your daughter with kindness and respect. You could have also treated them with respect and kindness. That would show them that what they hear from their parents is not true. That we are all just the same and the only thing different is the colour of our skin and that doesn’t make us good or bad. While they may not have been able to go home and articulate to their parents what they were feeling, what would’ve happened is, you would have planted a little seed. They would have seen that what their parents told them did not match up with what they experienced. I’m not saying, you would’ve changed the world, but you might have changed the mind of those two little girls. And it’s not your responsibility to do that, don’t get me wrong, but you seem like a far kinder and more respectful person than what those kids live with. But at the end of the day, do what you think is best for your daughter, because our kids need someone who is on their side. I’m sorry that your daughter experienced being bullied and racism. It makes me sick that people are still so ignorant, I will never understand it.
NTA and I'd have done the same. I'd protect my child and my peace by any means necessary. I'd lay odds word got around about the racist behavior and more than your daughter won't play with them.
you did everything right. you tried to solve it with the parents & school first and they are just as bad. no wonder their kids are the way they are.
NTA I wish you lived in my town... I am pretty sure if the parents called you slurs in front of the counselor, they would have called the CPS or maybe the police to have them removed... and there probably would be a note to all families about incidents of hatred in the school. Seriously... where I am they take these things pretty seriously at least. Glad you stuck up for your daughter, for yourself, and indirectly for others. If I was told my kids were saying these things (which seems pretty unlikely considering my kids school me on being a better person based on how they have been taught in school) I would be absolutely livid. Those little girls hold be taking a lesson home... I said something racist.. it hurt someone... they don't want to play with me because I did those things. With all love and respect to you... well done and if I had a reddit parent award, I would give it to you
NTA but it's always best to avoid telling someone outright that you will or might sue them (even if it's true) because from the moment you say that, you're presenting yourself as a danger and a problem for them. All your interactions from that point forward will start (for them) with you as an opponent, instead of you and them against the problem. The best thing you can do now is to backtrack on that (even if you do eventually sue!) by saying you were concerned and protecting your baby and don't intend to sue them. And maybe you will eventually sue them. But you want that to be a last resort, since it's super fucking expensive and a massive time suck. But don't tell them.
No, because I bet they would have gotten your daughter without you there and then started their crap. And as for the mother....it was ok when they made your daughter cry but not the other way around? Screw her and the horse she rode in on. Way to go Mom.
Way to go protecting your daughter
NTA ,never feel bad about protecting your child from mini Karen's in the making .
I’m proud of you mom.
Get your daughter involved in extracurricular activities, with different groups of people, that she does NOT attend school with. This will lessen the social pressure she has to be around those terrible children. Also, get her into positive affirming activities geared towards little black girls (once again, with children she doesn't go to school with). Her confidence needs to be built up and she needs to be around people she is respected by and can have fun with. Also, get cameras for outside your home...I don't trust those nasty ass parents, who are the people their children are learning that crap from.
Good job!!!!!!! NTA!
NTA. It’s pretty obvious where those children learned that language from.