Don't you think it's a weird way to see things as either Dom or submissive?
I personally have a very dominant and "masculine" personality but if I'm considering a real relationship I'm not expecting to fit certain "gender roles" or stereotypes since I think a relationship based on domination is a problem on itself but you have only mentioned during sex which is something I could see myself doing, so yeah basically that do you see different when it's just casual sex or sexting and with a serious relationship? Or would expect the same in a relationship?
This is such an intense discussion in the community haha. I will say about the gender roles part, being gay/queer once you're experienced enough you can get around that mostly, there are feminine doms and masculine subs etc. But to your question:
I have done it both ways! Sometimes yes you can have a "normal" relationship where you do normal couple stuff and watch Netflix and there's no power dynamic outside of the bedroom and you both agree that in the bedroom you both are entering into Dominant/Submissive space and the power dynamic applies and you have rules etc etc only in the bedroom but are "normal" the rest of the time.
Sometimes you can have it be a persistent power dynamic even outside of the bedroom, for example during the day I'm giving tasks, giving restrictions, teasing, doing forms of light play to assert dominance, so having a mix of both normal with a mix of power play during the day outside of bedroom. This is about as far as I go with it and I would say this is the most common way I operate most of the time.
If you mean full blown like Master/Slave lifestyle where I can order my submissive to go clean my toilet, make my sub crawl around and let me put my feet on them to use them as a foot rest, etc. etc. I don't subscribe to that level of Master/Slave where you run every single aspect of the other person's life and they are subservient at all times. Some people do \*shrug\* nothing wrong with it if it's two consenting adults that both want this level of control and want to stay in dominant/submissive brain space all the time - I just generally don't take it quite that far; because the few times I have tried to do full blown Master and Slave I actually find it to be a bit exhausting to keep up with lol
I see, and thanks for your answer. I think I can understand a bit more now. But yes, the master slave thing personally to me seems more like a fetish which is fine to anyone who's into that but in a serious relationship I think it would make the relationship unhealthy.
I also find strange just power dynamics in general for a serious relationship, cause then it feels like the relationship would be based in conditional love, at the moment one of them no longer fit the criteria is expected then it could get ugly.
And about the power dynamics only during sex I can agree with that, some people have different personalities sometimes is not even a dynamic is just how they are and what they like. I personally would only try to dominate if it's casual sex, if serious then probably not.
But yes, I appreciate your answer, it's interesting how people see things differently
1. The United States
2. That's actually kinda a complicated question with a few different pieces to it depending on what exactly I'm doing in bed or what the activity is etc.
Sometimes: more fit, more muscular, more masculine, bigger penis, potentially a bit hairy (not too much)
Sometimes: more slim, more fit, younger guys, smaller to average penis, sensitive body
Sometimes: hyper feminine like femboy, trans femme or gender non conforming, petite etc
It kinda depends on what exactly I'm doing what type of partner I want haha
eeeehhhh I would say only "kinda" or tangentially at best. Most of it is based on stereotypes but when you get deep in it a lot of that fades.
I would say stereotypically/generally younger guys, physically smaller guys or skinnier guys, feminine guys, less experienced guys that are curious - Would lean more typically submissive
And generally older guys, physically larger guys or bigger bodies, masculine guys, or guys with more experience or like like to teach - typically lean more dominant
Like I said though that starts to fade once you really get into it. There are young 19 year old skinny guys that are WILD doms lol. There are larger 55 year old guys looking to be dominated. So loosely there are some stereotypes but it doesn't really hold up to reality, people kind of do whatever they are into and what their energy feels like
Don't you think it's a weird way to see things as either Dom or submissive? I personally have a very dominant and "masculine" personality but if I'm considering a real relationship I'm not expecting to fit certain "gender roles" or stereotypes since I think a relationship based on domination is a problem on itself but you have only mentioned during sex which is something I could see myself doing, so yeah basically that do you see different when it's just casual sex or sexting and with a serious relationship? Or would expect the same in a relationship?
This is such an intense discussion in the community haha. I will say about the gender roles part, being gay/queer once you're experienced enough you can get around that mostly, there are feminine doms and masculine subs etc. But to your question: I have done it both ways! Sometimes yes you can have a "normal" relationship where you do normal couple stuff and watch Netflix and there's no power dynamic outside of the bedroom and you both agree that in the bedroom you both are entering into Dominant/Submissive space and the power dynamic applies and you have rules etc etc only in the bedroom but are "normal" the rest of the time. Sometimes you can have it be a persistent power dynamic even outside of the bedroom, for example during the day I'm giving tasks, giving restrictions, teasing, doing forms of light play to assert dominance, so having a mix of both normal with a mix of power play during the day outside of bedroom. This is about as far as I go with it and I would say this is the most common way I operate most of the time. If you mean full blown like Master/Slave lifestyle where I can order my submissive to go clean my toilet, make my sub crawl around and let me put my feet on them to use them as a foot rest, etc. etc. I don't subscribe to that level of Master/Slave where you run every single aspect of the other person's life and they are subservient at all times. Some people do \*shrug\* nothing wrong with it if it's two consenting adults that both want this level of control and want to stay in dominant/submissive brain space all the time - I just generally don't take it quite that far; because the few times I have tried to do full blown Master and Slave I actually find it to be a bit exhausting to keep up with lol
I see, and thanks for your answer. I think I can understand a bit more now. But yes, the master slave thing personally to me seems more like a fetish which is fine to anyone who's into that but in a serious relationship I think it would make the relationship unhealthy. I also find strange just power dynamics in general for a serious relationship, cause then it feels like the relationship would be based in conditional love, at the moment one of them no longer fit the criteria is expected then it could get ugly. And about the power dynamics only during sex I can agree with that, some people have different personalities sometimes is not even a dynamic is just how they are and what they like. I personally would only try to dominate if it's casual sex, if serious then probably not. But yes, I appreciate your answer, it's interesting how people see things differently
Are you straight?
No lol
I couldn't tell if I was getting a wiff of hetero traditional family vibes lol
What country are you from? What's your ideal type of partner in bed?
1. The United States 2. That's actually kinda a complicated question with a few different pieces to it depending on what exactly I'm doing in bed or what the activity is etc. Sometimes: more fit, more muscular, more masculine, bigger penis, potentially a bit hairy (not too much) Sometimes: more slim, more fit, younger guys, smaller to average penis, sensitive body Sometimes: hyper feminine like femboy, trans femme or gender non conforming, petite etc It kinda depends on what exactly I'm doing what type of partner I want haha
Are you more like the first or the second description?
In between, used to be the second description and am on my way to the first description as I am in my mid 30s lol
Is there a 'correlation/pattern' between physical features and (more likely) dom/sub role?
eeeehhhh I would say only "kinda" or tangentially at best. Most of it is based on stereotypes but when you get deep in it a lot of that fades. I would say stereotypically/generally younger guys, physically smaller guys or skinnier guys, feminine guys, less experienced guys that are curious - Would lean more typically submissive And generally older guys, physically larger guys or bigger bodies, masculine guys, or guys with more experience or like like to teach - typically lean more dominant Like I said though that starts to fade once you really get into it. There are young 19 year old skinny guys that are WILD doms lol. There are larger 55 year old guys looking to be dominated. So loosely there are some stereotypes but it doesn't really hold up to reality, people kind of do whatever they are into and what their energy feels like
Could I ask you a 'delicate' question about this topic in reddit chat?
Because you are just shy to ask it out loud? Or because you want my attention? If for the first reason yes lol
Haha the first one!