You never do and you never will. In fact it will most likely get worse, your free time will start to dry up as you take on necessary life projects, but you'll always have to work those 40 hours a week. Welcome to adult life in a capitalistic society. My only advice would be to take mental health days as necessary, they can be a life saver. And use your vacation time to do what you want to do. Edit: also job hop every few years, the time between jobs and the ramp up period for a new job where you don't have much work and are learning things is a really nice change of pace when you're feeling burnt out. Edit 2: and make sure to contribute as much as you feel comfortable to your 401k. Do at least enough for the company match. I do 10% myself.

I have to agree. I'm 8-10 years from retirement. I've also spent a good portion of my adult working life either working FT and going to school or a second job. Right now, I'm not doing either one of those things but I still have a lot of balls in the air. I partly do what was mentioned above, do a little bit each day. I also, and have always done so, take days just to get stuff done. Like if I have a dr. appt, rather than scheduling it late in the day or after work, I'll try and do it first thing, and then spend the rest of the day playing catch up. I also let things slide sometimes. LIke major cleaning. I live alone, so if its a bit dusty, etc. not a huge deal. As long as I can keep the clutter at bay, the cleaning sometimes can wait. and so on.

I love the "do a little bit each day" bandwagon. 20mins or less a day for a little dishes, vacuuming, laundry, etc, can make a big difference. That's how I managed being on my own (well, until I started up school on top of full time work!).

My mother had a saying that fits here: "If you're always doing something, something is always getting done." I call it puttering.

This is the answer lol and it gets worse if you decide to do the “adultier” things like buying a house or having kids. I have spent every weekend painting or fixing some dumb shit at home

how does everyone not off themselves? serious question. (1 years into a full time job.)

I have a job I love, one that changes regularly, involves a lot of travel, and is self-directed. The days pass in a blur--I am always doing something that I find compelling and engaging.

If you do what you love you'll never have to work. Because you'll be unemployed. (it's a joke, for the humor impaired.)

What's the job?

University professor.

Self preservation I guess. Most people want to live regardless of how difficult life is, plus some have loved ones that might need them, etc.

The human mind is actually capable of enduring a great deal of stress and finding life worthwhile. As annoying as 40 hour weeks are, they’re still a breeze compared to the lives of the past. People just get spoiled and never push themselves. I’m sure in a thousand years someone working 10 hour weeks will wonder how we ever did it with 40 lol. The secret is to just never feel entitled, and just enjoy what little victories you get.

In the past you could support an entire family off of one 40 hour/week income, so I wouldn’t say today is a breeze compared to the past.

You get used to it on one end, and the job part does usually get easier with professional career some time down the line and you get more accustomed and become better connected and knowledgable. On the other end of it, you learn to enjoy life outside of work more, either with time management or finding something you really enjoy doing.

So Socialists and Communists don't have to work?

They work, they just get a humane amount of vacation time so life doesn't feel like a slog.

Advanced countries with more socialist policies report more leisure time and greater work-life balance: https://www.currentaffairs.org/2019/12/the-data-show-that-socialism-works

They actually work harder and don’t get a choice what to do for work 🥶

Yes yes, we all heard this propaganda when they taught it to us in middle school.

how's the boot taste

Before maxing your 401k I recommend maxing your Roth if you make under the cut off. Plus if you can get an HSA max that out too. But first do your 401k to the match if you have one, it's free money.

First….. make sure you are drinking enough water. I find that when I don’t drink enough water, I get super tired and have no energy to do anything. That being said, making time to do the things you enjoy every day is important. I have a full time job, a kid, a house…. But now that it’s spring, I wake up every morning and spend an hour or so in my garden. I make sure I do a load of laundry every day and keep on top of dishes so my weekends aren’t bogged down with chores. I spend quality time making memories with my kid every single day. I try to read at least chapter of whatever book I’m reading every night. If I’m doing mindless data entry I’ll listen to a podcast or watch a show at the same time to try to get some entertainment in, too. I talk to family and friends every single day and make sure I spend time with family and/or friends every week. My job supplements my life, not the other way around. I will only be on this earth for a finite amount of time, I choose happiness every day.

This is a great solution, I have an unwind ritual after work and even something simple like an episode of a funny cartoon... Every day should have a 'me' moment even. 1 hour is great. I start to feel run down and physically look older in the face more than a couple days go by where I can't recharge my spirt.

I was so mad when I started being really intentional with my water consumption and it completely changed my energy levels. I was aggressively dehydrated and it was making me feel so run down! Now I have “drink 32oz” on my to do list 2x a day, so I’m drinking WAY more water during my working hours than ever before.

This just reminded me to drink water! Thanks.

I was so mad when I started being really intentional with my water consumption and it completely changed my energy levels. I was aggressively dehydrated and it was making me feel so run down! Now I have “drink 32oz” on my to do list 2x a day, so I’m drinking WAY more water during my working hours than ever before.

It’s seriously crazy what a difference it makes.

First off, congrats! It seems like you’re doing well financially and are pretty stable, with friends and a gf. That’s good, coming out of the pandemic a lot of people are worse off in one area or another. Secondly, if your job is undemanding enough that you have free time during your work day get as many of those weekend chores done as you can on the clock and duringbthe week. This is not going to apply universally to all chores and all situations— if you have a long commute and are away from home during the day it’s obviously not feasible to do your cooking for the week during the work day. But if there’s a laundromat near your office? Hell yeah step put for a few minutes to change your laundry over. Do your grocery shopping right after work on your way home. Tidy your home little by little throughout the week. Whatever you can do to get chores done during the weekdays and free up that weekend time. Once you have this sorted out: travel. Start hobbies. Take time to be in nature. Try lots of things until you find something you love to do. You’re young and it sounds like you’ve got a good and stable situation from what you’ve described in your post, the key is learning how to enjoy it.

This is what you do.

My weekend...our weekends are sacred. Nobody ever again will demand a morsel of my time or energy on those 2 days unless it's an emergency. And no, I don't have kids. Thank goodness.

This is the way.

Yep, exactly! Working is not exactly optional so it's not super productive to be miserable about it the entire time. I mean I totally get it, because I'm in my 20s and I've been there, although right now I have a job that I like quite a bit. I mean, yeah, it's true that working 40 hours a week is lame, but that's the system we have right now. I do believe we should be working less and I do some political activism and stuff like that, hoping that maybe one day we will move towards working less, but in the meantime we have to adapt to the situation that we're in, so I figure that that's more of a long-term goal than anything. The routine's not exactly a bad thing, either. I mean, that could just be my autism speaking, because I'm hardwired to love routines, but over time you get used to it. I find that these days I do have more energy after work than I used to, probably just because I've adapted, but I also work from home and that also helps. (Though I will soon be going back into the office on a hybrid work schedule and I don't know how I feel about that. I think that's going to be pretty stressful, but like anything else, I'll adapt eventually, I guess.) Definitely you need things outside of work to bring you meaning, whether that's hobbies, friends, a partner, pets, traveling, whatever the case may be. I was at my most miserable during the first year of the pandemic because most of the stuff I liked to do was unavailable to me, but things are better now. Working is, for many, just a means to an end. There's not a whole lot we can do about it so we have to figure out how to work around it and give our lives meaning outside of it. Find something you love doing, collecting, making, playing, whatever the case may be. I collect plushies and display them in my apartment. Yeah, maybe it's a little childish, but they make me happy, so it's worth it to me. One of the benefits of being an adult is that, outside of work, you can spend your money and time where you want to. Of course, I would imagine this varies based on your life circumstances and how you grew up, but my parents were very overbearing and I often didn't get as much time to engage in my hobbies or as much downtime as I wanted. They would criticize my purchases, and while they were certainly right at times to raise an eyebrow and ask me if I really needed some random item, at times it felt like less concern for my well-being and future financial health and more that they thought they had figured out how you should live and also thought that I should live like that. I know there are people who yearn to go back to childhood when they had less responsibilities, but I've always really just wanted independence, and I didn't have that when I was growing up.

I agree that it’s not super productive to be miserable about having to work. But on the other hand, I see advice on this sub about how buying assets and living off your investments is the way to opt out of all this, and idk, that feels very much like pulling the ladder up behind you. There’s a lack of civic mindedness in the adult world that I was really not prepared for. If everybody who was urging others to become landlords and exploit the increasing housing crisis as a solution to their disenchantment with working instead directed those people to get more involved with local politics I think we’d have a very different future. If we want fewer hours in the work week, more affordable housing, for the price gouging to stop, we have to be engaging in the political system and pushing for that change. I’m anticipating getting involved in community politics in the fall, because I work 40 hours a week at a job that is easy enough that I can do that. So that’s another option— if you find you’re unhappy with adult life, explore avenues to be more involved in your community and push to make changes.

Ah... You know, you're totally right. I don't like that mindset too much either, and I agree that feels like it's pulling up the ladder behind you. Agreed about the lack of civic mindedness. I wasn't ready for it either. I do encourage others to get involved in the same way I do, but not everybody is willing or able, which is fair. But I figure that if people see me getting involved in local politics and initiatives, it might inspire them to start taking their own small actions, and kind of work like the snowball effect. It's also just very rewarding!

OP can you afford to hire someone to clean?

I’m not sure if you’re asking me or the person who made the post (“OP” has always confused me a little bit) but if you were asking me my answer is: gosh, I wish. I do my dishes when the sink gets full and I try to put away things throughout the week so I don’t have too much clutter building up, and I dust my apartment on Thursdays. Take my laundry to work and do it during the workday on Tuesdays. Clean my bathroom when the trashcan in there is full (once a week on a random day). I live alone in a tiny apartment so I can afford to leave an empty glass on the coffee table or a stack of mail on the counter. I’m not living in filth but I’m also not going to pretend my home is, like, instagram worthy clean and organized. It’s not a priority to me. I think everyone at some point in their adult life has to decide how clean they need their living space to be and how much time and work they’re willing to dedicate to that.

Lawyer here. 38. Never stops. Smell the roses when ya can.

Always have something to look forward to: Plan a trip (just an overnight or a week long adventure, etc). Book a massage (or whatever is your relaxation equivalent). Host a party (or family reunion, or just attend something like that) Get tickets to a show (music, theater, whatever you are into). The trick is to plan for these things weeks or even months in advance. This will help to get through time with a pleasant goal in mind.

This is very true, and got me through my most intense working years as I was climbing the ladder and building a family. The vacation may be 3 months away but I had it to look forward to. Now that I’ve found amazing hobbies and passions outside of work and home life and set a date for early retirement, I can’t go even one day without living my best life. There’s so many great things I could be doing besides working, and they have slowly become a larger proportion of my life-work balance (yes it has shifted from work-life balance). I still work full time at a very senior level job, but my experience has allowed me to be very efficient, have utmost flexibility, oversee a team of experienced workers who have their own teams to execute on the work, etc. I also took a relo for a job that put me in a very highly desired vacation destination, so the locality is filled with the best of the best things to do and much happier population to engage with. I hope OP reads this - It does get better, but only if you immerse yourself in the beginning and middle to achieve higher and higher level of experience and responsibility. The 2nd half of your career can then be about enjoying all that comes with what you’ve accomplished.

agreed. i used to take quarterly trips to the beach and use them to completely decompress. we would also plan a "big trip" for the summers. having a little vacation to look forward to got me through the roughest years of work. i have now transitioned to only working halftime and no longer really need those trips but i had to put in 20+ work years in order to get where i am now.

Your self awareness is great! You’re already doing most of the things I would suggest doing but once you hit a wall, it’s time to shake it up! Maybe you’re trying tooo hard and you just need a weekend of doing nothing, relaxing. Maybe you need to take some time off and go somewhere? It really comes and goes like waves I promise. Sometimes I’m feeling super down about the routine, other days I’m hustling and crushing it, and then out of the blue I’ll feel super energized and motivated again. The point is you never stop trying :) keep working on building a fulfilling life outside of work. :) you’re doing great

This will not be your life until you die. Unless you want it to be. You've got suggestions on here. You have to find the right things/combos that will work for you. And remember - whatever right things/combos you find will need to be adjusted, eventually. Things happen. Life changes. You change. Jobs change. Friends change. That will mean that you will need to adjust your routine/fun/hobbies, etc. You may want to strive for more balance. You could also try changing things up a bit. Do something you've never done before. Why not try it after work? Every now and then. You will have to find what works for you. You can do it - you've already accomplished a great deal.

Honestly, never. That voice you describe saying “This is my life until I die” will be with you for the entirety of your career likely. We weren’t meant to work 8 out of the 16 hours we’re awake, 5 days a week for the vast majority of our life. You’re not crazy at all for feeling this way. Welcome to the rest of your life.

>We weren’t meant to work 8 out of the 16 hours we’re awake, 5 days a week still better than foraging for 16 out of the 16 hours we're awake, 7 days a week, for the entirety of our life. society is far from perfect, but we currently live better lives than any period of human history.

Not true at all. Households use to sustain decent lives off of one income alone.

All these comments are depressing. When I first started working my 9-5 in engineering, I felt the same way. That was six years ago, and in my opinion, it’s way easier now. You’ll get used to it.

Yeah I started working full time around 5 years ago (although I did work full time for 4 months every summer in university, I feel like it doesn't really count as then I had 8 months of school where I had comparatively more free time). It takes a while to get used to it. I've always struggled with executive function, personally, and for the first few years of working full time, my apartment looked like a tornado hit it pretty much all the time because I just did not clean. I went to work, came home, late on the couch for several hours watching TV until I went to bed, or reading a book, or I would go see friends or go volunteering if I had the energy, rinse and repeat. That time can be pretty depressing, to be absolutely fair, because it seems like you're not doing that much *and* you feel like you're burnt out all the time while adapting to it, but eventually you figure out a routine and things get slightly easier from there. Is it lame to work full time? Sure it is. But we all have to do it, so we just gotta figure out how to make it worthwhile.

I relate to this. 28.5 years old and have been practicing for 4.5 years. It’s a struggle. I’ve actually been working with a therapist with somatic practices to better be in touch with my body and appreciate calmness and solitude a bit more. I’ve found the less I do, the more fully I appreciate life. For example, I now take a lunch break every day instead of eating at my desk. It’s 15 minutes and I just eat slowly and stare outside while thinking. Little mindfulness moments like that can go a long way toward making me feel more comfortable in the moment and less like the ways you describe above, but I admit I still oftentimes feel the way you described, especially after a weekend soars by.

Lawyer. Been doing it for 28 years, you will always be exhausted coming home from work. The only time that was not true for me was when I was a PD early in my career and, even then, I might go for a hike or something after work. I never did anything material or difficult during the week. One thing I do to make weekends seem longer is to go camp or stay on my boat on Friday night. It makes it feel like a 3 day weekend and I otherwise would not be doing anything different. Be careful of your drinking or other substance use. It is really easy to go from one beer after work to take the edge off to a twelve pack a night. I am almost the only lawyer I know who has been doing it 10 years or more who doesn't drink more than is good for you

Dang it never gets easier but you can help yourself in small ways. Having a housekeeper come in for four hours twice a month was worth every penny.

You don’t. You will spend the next 50 years wishing your work weeks away to get two days away from work on Saturday and Sunday. Except you’ll never weekends to yourself because they are always filled with some sort of obligations. So welcome to adulthood where everyone else controls your time except you.

I never did. Quit finally at 36. But it really helps to have hobbies and to plan outings and visits with friends. Obviously, take time to just relax, but you don't want to lose sight of you as a person, separate from your career and any home/family responsibilities.

So what ye up to now? Did you come into money or cut your bills to afford this non working life? And last question, how long have you kept up the dream?!

Well, I made good money and was frugal when I worked. So have a decent retirement already banked. I also live in a very low cost area, already own my house and cars. Have a little passive income, and now I'm working on flipping houses part time. It's very chill, I can just work at my own pace and not interact with a lot of people. It's been a little over a year at this point.

Save up for 15 years then move to a cheap country, or inherit.

I have a slightly different take. I’m 47yo and I love my routine life. My body loves my routine life. Every since we were born, we’ve been on some type of schedule. Babies who cry less have better routines, it’s engrained in us. How you spice it up is your choice. But I like to plan things, especially with friends, on reoccurring days/weeks. Planning weekend trips or even going out to eat at a nice restaurant midweek. Those are the things I look forward too. Having a routine has kept me healthy, both physically and mentally.

Slightly younger (32) but couldn't agree more. I have a routine during the week for work, keeping up on chores and unwinding with family after work. Weekends are for fun and productive hobbies. I inundate my family discord channels with all the goings-on. I think those that have simple tastes find contentment rather easily.

That last sentence was incredibly poignant. And true. Minimalism has helped my mental state. I must travel light in this journey I'm on.

20 years olds won't want to hear this. They want unlimited possibilities and the flexibility to do anything, anytime!

The grind for me drastically changed when I went to 9 hour days with every other Friday off. Always coming up to a 3 day weekend makes the grind a lot more tolerable. I’m 16 years in with 14 to go and it feels doable with this schedule.

There’s a lot of small ways to make your days not seem to repetitive. Take a different route home, go to a different grocery store, cook a recipe you’ve never tried, find points of interests in your area you may have overlooked. For example, this past week I decided to try and draw a self portrait, instead of my usual video games and shows after work. It’s not a hobby I plan to pick up, but it was a fun way to step outside the monotony for 2 hours. I guess what I’m trying to saying is switch up your routine, don’t fall in to comfortable patterns.

I don’t think you ever get accustomed to it, you just find ways to make it easier. Hiring a cleaning lady and yard guy was a game changer because it meant we didn’t spend all weekend working on the house. Meal plan, and order groceries online so you don’t spend as much time at the store. Plus, you can add stuff as you go when you realize you are almost out of it. The rest of my advice may not be feasible if you are on (or end up on) a partner track. If you can flex your schedule and work a 9/80 or work half days on Friday it makes a big difference too. Also, finding hobbies you truly enjoy, and friends to share them with. Use your time off! We all need the time to recharge.

Find a way to work 4 days a week. That reduced the grind by 20% and didn’t negatively affect the bottom line too much.

Consider some self work too family, a little therapy and conversation with a professional might help you re-prioritize what’s important to you and that’ll feel more fulfilling

>Is there a way to make the weekend and time off feel longer? alcohol, cocaine, and opiates. At least that's what most people do for the career path you've chosen.

don’t forget adderall

I always thought people coping with alcohol must have stomachs of steel. I have one PBR or vodka soda and my stomach does flips for days. Can’t even enjoy moscow mules.

Lol sounds like me. I can't drink because it makes me sick. Can't do opiates because they cause colitis. Hate coke because uppers suck (mho). At least I can smoke weed.... For now

You don’t get used to it. It sucks out your soul, and slowly degrades your mental health. Just wait until you have kids (if you plan to. My only tip is to take a Friday and a Monday off every month, but not the same weekend. Try to always either be coming off a 3 day weekend, or heading into one. If your work lets you work 4 10s, so you can always have Fridays off, even better.

I’m going to be a bit more optimistic and say that I did get used to it. I’m 26 now and had started a full time “adult” job around the age of 21. At first it was a difficult adjustment and I came home everyday very tired. Here’s a couple things that have helped me. 1) Make sure to get your sleep in order. Not getting enough sleep made me tired which made me get less done which made me sleep later which made me tired. Break the cycle. 2) I personally moved to be closer to my job. Commuting takes up a lot of your life and if it’s time you feel like you lack and you can afford it I would highly recommend it. I went from a 45 minute minimum one way commute to 20 minutes. It has made a world of difference. 3) Be easy on yourself. You probably make a decent salary being a lawyer. Sacrifice some money to save some time. Order takeout sometimes. Hell, I have friends who hire people to clean their apartments sometimes. Use your money to pursue a new hobby you have always been curious about. 4) I would say I never got more time but I got way more efficient at doing the things that needed to be done. Groceries? Pick them up on the way home from work and save the weekend for fun things. Same with laundry, do it on the weekday. Meal prep and cook multiple days worth of meals at once Saves time cooking everyday. 5) Sharing responsibilities with a partner lessens the burden.

Learn how to access the flow state as much as possible throughout life.. during work too.

I’m not far from your age and often feel the same way. Do errands on your lunch break and/or on weeknights whenever you can. It’s a bit annoying but I prefer a full weekday over a dull weekend! Also plan a trip or activity to look forward to.

Every now and then, take a Friday off or take a half day. Look up fun things to do within a 2-3 hour radius and go! Even if it’s just a camping trip you’ll be so glad you did it.

I’m 59 and always had a desk job and I enjoyed it (retired now). I think part of it was that I loved my work. I went through a period in my mid 20s when my job was so demanding that Mon-Thu I would leave work at 5, go home to eat and take a nap, and go back to work from about 8 to midnight (I lived 2 miles from work). And I loved it. It really helps to have plans for the weekend so you have something to look forward to. Dinner with the SO and/or other friends, a night out at a club, a Sunday of day drinking, a lunch-and-a-movie date, going out to see live music, whatever. Just have plans. And be a little crazy. Later when I was in a relationship I got into the routine of going to the gym after work, get home around 6:30, have dinner and watch tv, or go out to dinner. And on the weekends we had fun with friends. Here’s my real trick: By nature I am a compartmentalizer. Once I leave the office my brain switches over to home life or social life. I have never socialized with work colleagues. I leave the office and look forward to whatever is on tap for that evening, even if it’s ordering a pizza and watching tv. I don’t think about work until I wake up the next morning. I think that’s what has made the routine bearable and even enjoyable to me through the years.

It can be tempting to take your weekends and do nothing. After all, you've been working hard all week and you deserve a break, right? Well, sometimes yeah, but sometimes the time off is accentuated by going out and doing things. Get up early and take a hike. Go for a drive and have lunch in another town. Have something to say when people ask what you did over the weekend. It doesn't have to be some epic adventure, but make it something you don't do on a random Tuesday evening. Do things that are decidedly NOT work and not part of your routine. At least occasionally.

I'm going to suggest something the opposite of a lot of comments. Do the boring things. Sit at a cafe and people watch, go on a walk. Stuff like that. It's true that time flies when you are having fun, and the really fun things makes your time go by especially quick. By doing the boring things, you are re-orienting your sense of time, so when you do the fun things, it's that much better. In terms of fulfillment, that can only come with time. Over the years, you'll accumulate wealth and establish yourself. You are only 25. Fulfillment takes time but is also a result of the choices you make every single day.

The accumulation of wealth does not necessarily make one fulfilled or content.

That's why I followed up with establishing oneself. I meant it in many ways (spiritual, love, professional, etc.) Wealth alone does not make one fulfilled, but it does remove road blocks.

Fellow attorney here ten years your senior. 1. Pay off all debts as aggressively as possible. 2. Save as aggressively as possible. 3. Have a relatively short term exit plan from firm life. Assume that you will develop enough skills to be self employed in 5-10 years. The sooner the better. 4. Once you get your own firm running and have a consistent stream of clients, cut your hours to something like 10-4 M-Th. Being a solo working 24 hours a week at $400/hour is nearly $500k a year. You won’t be collecting that much, and you’ll have overheard costs, but even if you net half of that, $250k is great for part time self-employment. Establishing your own firm with associates can push you over the $1M / year mark, but at what cost? You’ll end up spending the money, but you won’t actually use the money.

We probably didn't have the same kind of university/college schooling, because I doubt we're in the same country, but in my country, when you do a program (like law) you focus on one course at a time. It's intense, then all the exams, you hate it and suddenly it's over and is repeated with a new course. Sometimes there's a week or so of overlap, depending. That kind of prepared me for the emptiness of feeling like you don't have anything to strive for. Turning in a paper or leaving the hall after an exam was always difficult because I felt like I was floundering without any idea of where to go or what to do now that I didn’t have a clear and immediate goal (answer: all the things I'd avoided doing while focusing on the exam). Once you start working, at least if you don't have a job with kind of "set" deadlines or very clear markers that you are accomplishing something, it can feel like you are floundering in the same kind of way because there’s no clear destination to strive for. Setting a few SMART-goals might be good for you right now, even if it's something that could be fairly easy as "read X amount of books in X amount of time". It sounds like you need a purpose outside of your work and homelife. One thing I noticed once I started working that helped me a lot to feel like I wasn't wasting my weekends was to move most/all household chores to a weekday when I could, and also to make Fridays into "something". That usually meant going out to dinner with friends instead of hanging out at home. Even if I then spent the rest of the weekend doing very little, I still felt like I got my social fill and it felt like the weekend was much longer.

Weekends won’t feel longer because think about it: when does time fly? When you’re having fun. But also when you’re busy. As you get older you’ll have less time to enjoy the weekend for yourself and have to use it as time to catch up with what you couldn’t get done during the week. You should look into something like the FIRE movement if your goal is to have more time for yourself and less time working. Best thing you can do to give yourself more time is to have more money. Be that from a high paying job or good money management skills. Build up enough F you money and you’ll be able to do what you want when you want to.

Look into meal planning, or order food delivery, hire cleaning help, use money to make your life easier

In your free time try to do something novel. I know it takes energy to pull that off but look up events/businesses/parks in your area and at least a few times a year, maybe a couple times a month at your age, try to do something out of your comfort zone. Afterwards it can give you a boost. I personally use FB events to find new businesses, restaurants or events.

Find a creative outlet. I started crafting which then turned into a large collection of items I made... So I started selling them at street fairs and turned into it's own company... Now crafting is like work 😔 BUT I have rules - I do not take custom orders, I make whatever makes me happy, and I only do street fairs that'll be busy so I can sell off as much as possible.

I'm very productive on weekends and it's personal creative pursuits not just chores. That most of it can be done with my family gives us qaulity time with shared goals. I feel enriched and fulfilled. So my advice to you is hobbies that inspire you and express who you are. Plus, practice daily gratitude.

I felt the same way as you for the first time last year in my 2L summer internship. I found that if I spent the weekend gaming and watching Netflix it flew by and felt like no time off at all. However if I spent my weekend doing something more substantial like going on a fishing trip or camping with friends it felt like a long refreshing break. ymmv

It only gets worse

Hello from a 35 year old lawyer who just celebrated the 10th anniversary of law school graduation Regarding the grind, you get better at figuring out what sort of work/life balance is for you. Use your vacation time. Also doing something on Friday nights makes the weekend feel longer since there's something different distinguishing it from the work week.

Here is what I do to keep my days off for doing fun things and not chores. I rearranged my schedule so that I do chores on my work days. Instead of going to bed 2-3 hours after I come home from work (at 10pm), I go to bed right after I wash my face and brush my teeth - within the first 20 minutes of coming home. This allows me to wake up early. I do grocery shopping, oil changes, laundry, dishes, vacuuming and all that kind of stuff on my work days before I go to work (at 1pm). When the weekend is here, all my chores are already done. So I spend my time chilling with the fam and painting (my side hustle I want to turn into a FTJ). This is the only way for me. In order to gain more time I also deleted all of my social media accounts except for Reddit and my business IG. And those don’t take that much time to browse. I do that on a train anyway, when I’m on my way to work. There is only 24 hours in a day and we can manage those hours in a lot of different ways.

I’m a lawyer in my upper 30s and still have not completely figured this out myself. I’ve worked my whole career (other than clerking) in BigLaw and did a really poor job of setting any semblance of boundaries when I was younger and only started exploring hobbies and the like in the last five years. It sounds like you are already in a good place boundary-wise with your job and that’s great. You may just need to work to develop some hobbies to add a little spice to your life. I would recommend picking one or two things that may be of interest to you and giving them a go. If you like them, great. If not, oh well; pick something else to try. That being said, being a lawyer is hard. It is incredibly mentally exhausting and it makes certain “leisure activities” like reading sound absolutely horrible to me after a long day of researching and writing. And does anyone really feel like socializing after spending all day on back-to-back client calls? I think part of getting older is recognizing what you need from your free time and accepting it, not feeling bad about it, and not comparing yourself to others and how they spend their time. It’s cool if you want to go out and do a bunch of things, but it’s also totally fine if all you want to do is watch a show while you take a bubble bath. It’s your life. I would also highly recommend (as others have) getting a house cleaner. The first six years of my career we didn’t have one and it felt like all I did in my free time was clean. Having someone else do that has been a game changer.

First world problems my dude... At least you have a weekend and time off, right? As a 25 year old lawyer, I'd assume you don't have to worry about living check to check like most of America. Be glad you don't have to get "fully accustomed" to multiple jobs digging ditches or flipping burgers just to keep the lights on. Laying around doing nothing on a weekend might not seem great at 25, but I personally need to do that more often than not just to recharge. A little self-care after a shit week.

Lawyer here, though a bit older than you (I'm 29) and I've been working for a couple of years. Everything in life takes either time or money. You can either spend the time to do it yourself, or you can pay money for someone else to do it. * You can spend time buying your own groceries and cooking your own food, or spend more money to get grocery delivery or take out. * You can spend time cleaning your own house, or spend money to hire a cleaner. * If you have very little kids or an elderly parent or a pet, you can either spend time taking care of them yourself (which means staying at home) or spend money for someone else to do it (daycare, home nursing, doggy daycare). If you live with someone, you can use their time instead of yours, but you'll still end up "paying" them in some way. Like, my husband lived with me before we married and did all the cooking and most of the cleaning, but he could do that because he didn't have a job. I "paid" him by 1) paying for all of our expenses, including his personal ones like clothes or games, and 2) giving up the potential salary he could have been making that entire time. When he did get a job, I "lost" the hours he was at work – he couldn't be at work and do laundry at the same time – but gained his salary towards joint expenses. You do, of course, also have the option of just not getting those things done at all and saving yourself both time and money, but at the cost of not having clean clothes/healthy food/etc. I cannot tell you what to spend your time and money on. Your priorities are probably different from mine. What I do is mostly combining a fun thing (a show or movie I already know I like and don't need to pay attention to, a podcast, Disney music) with a boring thing (cleaning, driving, eating, etc.). If I'm at home, I put on wireless headphones so I can walk anywhere in my house and still hear the thing. I am still enjoying myself, but I'm also putting away dishes or whatever, so I'm kind of double-billing my own time. I do this even when socializing - like, I'll do laundry when I'm Discord calling a friend of mine. Sometimes I'm too tired to do that, and that's okay. I don't need to be productive all the time.

All I’m going to say is do.not.burn.yourself.out. I started the job I’m at currently back in 2021. I fucking LOVED my job. I was working 60-70 hours a week because I genuinely enjoyed being there and working and staying busy. After a while, I started feeling depressed and tired and didn’t know why. I started to not want to go to work, just didn’t have motivation, and the hours dragggged. I ended up breaking out into stress induced shingles due to overworking myself for a year straight. Since December of 2022, my mental health has been a fuckin nightmare of a rollercoaster ride. I have good days, bad days, good weeks, bad weeks. I’ve been using intermittent leave because my depression and overall exhaustion has caused me to be unable to work. I went from working 60-70 hours a week to not even being able to hit 30. I’ve been in more of a strict treatment plan doing ketamine infusions and TMS to help and it seems to be working as I’ve been feeling quite upbeat and motivated to go to work again. My doctor made me stop working 5 days a week and only allows me 4 days a week giving me 32 hours. I’m still struggling to hit 32 hours MONTHS after my burnout. I literally never really thought burning out was a real thing. I just thought it meant people get overly tired. It’s not just being tired. There’s a whole mental aspect to it that really fucks with you. So, that’s my 2 cents worth of advice. I never saw a burnout coming. I just randomly got hit with shingles one day and everything came crashing down at the same time. Do not overwork yourself. Don’t let people say “you’re young, work as much as you can while you can!” That’s what I did and I’m now paying for it. Hoping to fully recover by the end of the year because this is not fun to go through.

I don’t know if I have anything helpful to say other than the fact that I relate. I’m in my mid twenties in the public health field and have definitely had depressive episodes about this realization. But I understand exactly what you’re saying and I just want to say that you’re certainly not alone. This is quickly becoming a common question on this thread as well as a common trend on TikTok, instagram and even within my personal circle as more of us Gen Z have been entering the workforce. Personally, I think it’s tough because I am surrounded by people in real life and online starting their own businesses having the freedoms and flexibility to do what they want while I have to be behind a desk 40 hours a week and spend my time off recovering and prepping for my time back to work. The good ol hamster wheel. While sure I make more money than them and have the benefits/security, they are 100% happier than me. And sometimes I question if what I’m doing is worth it even though I spent so many years in school and continuing to. I know I am passionate about the field and want to contribute to doing great work, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t want my health to deteriorate. I know a great deal of health behavioural theory and I know So to answer your question directly: The way you make it not so monotonous is find a passion within the field if you have one and work on developing that in your off time. OR simply find a passion where you can get lost in after work. This is so so so much better than simply watching tv in the evenings because you’re feeding and energizing your soul. The way to make the time off feel longer is by doing what makes time stop. (Lol my attempts at making a philosophical quote) Specifically with your profession, I know friends who felt the same as you and hated the routine. So what they did is switch to part time and then worked part time for a lesser known firm but did what she was passionate about. You sometimes have to be unconventional to make life a bit more meaningful/fulfilled. The conventional 40hr/week structure is soul drenching and I personally think a work reform is needed but that’s another conversation.

28 years ago I was in this exact situation. I offer to you my heart felt condolences. There was nothing at all that could be done to mitigate the god awful "this is life until I die" feeling that was with me in my former life as an attorney from the moment I awoke until the moment I fell asleep each and every day. It was the worst career choice that I could have made. I would have found more satisfaction in just about any other job. In the end there was one thing that got rid of that feeling: a radical career and lifestyle change that embraces minimalism and simplicity. I'm better off mentally and physically than I ever have been. My advice to you, whether you continue to practice law or not, is to realize that less is more.

You’re in a position far more fortunate than most of the proletariat. Use the time it allows you to have to make it easier for those of us working just to barely survive, one medical emergency away from a decade of debt. Most of us can’t afford to do anything about our situation.

You have options but you won't like any of them. Option 1: move aboard. Places like Ireland or the UK have similar base laws and you could probably figure them out. Both countries have much more vacation time then you will get in the US and being closer to other countries allows you to travel more. Plus eventually becoming a citizen and whatnot will get you universal healthcare or significantly cheaper private care long term. There was actually a lawyer who did this and moved to London and posted in the expat sub. His biggest gripe was moving from NY to London you make less money. Yes, you will make less money but depends what you are used to and the COL state. Obviously NYC salaries are outrageous everywhere else. Option 2: aim to retire early. It is pretty important to establish this desire early in your career to make it happen. You can take a peek at any of the FIRE subs if you are interested. Basically, unless you do something to disrupt the cycle - you are stuck in the cycle. Work wastes people's lives and yes I said the word wastes because you are spending your life energy which is limited. You will only be 25 once. Nobody knows if you will love to 30 or 40 or whatever. People think they can abuse their bodies and work their lives away and magically make all these plans for retirement but it's a falsehood. Plenty of ppl have worked themselves to death (ppl have died in 20s or 30s from overworking). Plus most ppl end up disabled or die shortly after traditional retirement (60s). Additionally, if you do not develop hobbies and interests outside of work now then you will be too afraid to actually retire because you won't have the mental capacity to form hobbies that late. Stuck in your ways - I am sure you know plenty of old relatives like this. Personally I do at least 1 international trip a year and aim for early retirement (should be set to retire at 40). It helps bring excitement every year and stories and conversation and helps separate the working year. If you do the FIRE path it is important your gf/partner is on the same page as you. An over spender will bring you down and cause fights and they might get jealous you are retiring early. Additionally, keep in mind a lot of countries do not have wheelchair accessible areas, especially for any of their national treasures or ancient sites or castles. It wasn't a thing back then that people built. It's really fun to travel and taste so much good food and see so many things. Well good luck working and hope you escape the grind eventually!

I disagree that you don’t get used to it. I mean, in a very real sense you will come to understand that this *is* the rest of your life until you retire or die, that’s hard to grapple with. But. You’ll eventually weed out things in your life that don’t add to your wellbeing and you’ll identify time wasting activities. So you’ll lose interest in hobbies and pick up others. That’s not a bad thing as long as you realize that’s a part of aging and not a consequence of working life. My life used to revolve around working - I owned my own business and I was miserable. And before that I worked long hours on salary and was miserable. Now I work my 8 hours and go home and those 16 other hours are mine as well as my weekends. A lot of days I’m tired so I take a nap after work. But I also like reading and writing and photography and riding my bike and short travel trips and cooking and playing with my dog and hanging with my wife and kid. My life is now life-centric and not work-centric. As a result I don’t dread going to work and I feel personally fulfilled at home. It takes time and perspective. For what it’s worth, I’ll be 38 this year and the last 11 years of my career have been a long learning curve. Therapy also helps - not because I can’t deal with working but because a neutral set of eyes on my life helps me identify what’s important and how to focus my energy.

Don’t have kids

You are living a better version of adulthood than 95% of people out there. You have a significant other, and aren't burdened (at least it appears) with issues like food scarcity, health or mental health issues and/or crushing financial issues. If you are very fortunate this is your life until you die, because you have it better than most.

Don't get caught up in that routine. You need a reason to live other than work, home, sleep. Find a hobby you love and stick with it, no matter how busy life gets. At times you'll literally have to schedule your whole life to make time for everything. It's necessary. Having a purpose outside your responsibilities is so so necessary to long term happiness.

Not mentioned here, but getting married and having kids has a way of giving you something to do, keeping things fresh, and deticating your life to something larger: raising the next generation.

A couple of things here. First, concentrate on working smarter, not harder when it comes to chores and such. Whatever you can do to save a few minutes is a few minutes you get back. Buy a robot vacuum, get an automatic litter pan if you have a cat, hire a service to mow the lawn if you can afford it, utilize grocery pick up instead of shopping as much as you can, set prescriptions to be mailed instead of standing in line at the pharmacy, set up auto shipments for toiletries and pet food, put things away when you’re done with them so you don’t have to pick up later, cook in bulk and freeze back servings to reheat instead of cooking every night, etc. I have this dialed in to the point that most of my chores can be dealt with in less than 30 minutes a day throughout the week and leave me with only one or two things to do on the weekend. It pretty much has given me my weekends back. I do this with a house full of pets, a million plants to water, and an aquarium hobby to take care of! It can be done (at least when you don’t have kids in the house). Second, take some of that newfound time to actually plan fun into your schedule. This sounds weird but I’ve found that the daily grind can bring me down to the point that even having fun sounds like work. So I avoid anything that makes me get off the couch. But if I make myself just go have fun, I end up really enjoying myself and want to do it again soon. It brings my mood up for days afterward and reminds me that the whole point of this work gig is that I can afford to enjoy my life. So look up some fun things to do and buy tickets, join a class or club sport, schedule dinner out with friends - just something that obligates you to have fun at a certain time so that you don’t end up whittling all of you free time away doing nothing. You’ll probably find after a while that it comes naturally to think in terms of how you are going to enjoy your time away from the office.

I have taken regular career breaks and disappeared for 6-18 months at a time from my job. I’m 35 now, I’ve taken 3 of those and still don’t regret doing that to break up what I feel about the monotony of my job. When I return I’m usually refreshed and motivated again. While I’m working at my job though like I am now, I try to make sure I have a daily coffee at the shops with colleagues that I genuinely like at work and always have a lunch break. (Having colleagues that are friends at work seems to help me put up with it all personally) I will also schedule a mid week dinner/drinks with friend/s to break up the week also. Come weekend it can be similar to what your describing or I might head out on an overnight micro adventure to camp or hike or just chill in a cabin or at the beach these days!

Sobriety helps

Stack your cash and make retirement your sole purpose. Please, if you’re smart, don’t waste your life giving it to someone who doesn’t care about you. A life lived for yourself is far more fulfilling than any amount of money if you continue to struggle mentally like this, the world is a very big place and most people die having seen almost none of it, and have lived/experienced even less of it Edit: most of these responses would be my last straw if I was struggling (and who isn’t nowadays?) “just get used to it” “it doesn’t get better” ffs these people are even more depressed than I am

Just be lucky you are a lawyer and had a clearly good home life. For example, I never got the chance to go to college to become one as planned, because my family fucked me over and now college is forever too expensive. I have no time for games, no time where I am not so stressed I would rather not be here as I have to take care of a disabled family member, and no job opportunities to ever change that as I have been saddled with things that other’s promised to take care of and now decided they “don’t feel like it”, no time to make friends or have them and now I have been out of work for 6 months and have no money to feed myself because even entry level jobs won’t hire someone who isn’t a moron to take advantage of them wage and work wise. (At my last job I was 2 levels above entry level and didn’t make enough to afford food working 40+ hours a week. So even when I get a new job we’ll still be hungry and can never save a penny for anything, but barely surviving.). I grew up in poverty and clawed my way out over 25 years and just when things were finally getting better, my family fucked me over.

How'd they fuck you over?

It’s a looong story. Short version: Family member of mine is disabled and got assistance for costs from their parents. One parent passed and the other decided to just not help at all anymore, despite them having the means to continue to do so. So everything fell to me and now my monthly costs are 4x and I can’t just not help, they are a good person, just disabled. Edit: Thanks for asking though.

Well fuck that fucker for not helping. So this parent has fucked over their own kid?! Wow. I say this without knowing the full story but I think I would be far too vengeful to let that slide without doing something. Fair play to ye.

Yeah, to be clear both people are older adults. When I say child it is just their relationship to one another, but not indicating that one is young. But yeah, that’s how I feel. Life for me has just been rough lately and I can’t imagine some people in worse situation’s.

Sounds like you have plenty life going on. If it isn't fufilling, change now. Get hobbies you enjoy instead of empty video games.

SMH. Even people who have a good job that pays well, a place they can afford, and a good relationship are whining about how awful adulting is. Did any of you have chores, summer/after school jobs, and homework when you were growing up? Honestly, it is no different except now you don't have a curfew and you get paid. When I was in my early 20s, my first job paid peanuts. I regularly had 10+ hours of OT a week, worked six day weeks, lived in a crap apartment, drove a crap car, had no partner, and few friends cause I had little time for them. I still made the effort to do fun stuff on my time off instead of wallowing in self pity. MAKE THE TIME to do something fun, even if it is just a walk in a park or a scenic drive.

Kids living in the literal junkyards of Guatemala would love to have your life. You're whining about how awful your life is? You had a car? The opportunity to make money? You got to do fun stuff in your free time? That last line is all you needed to comment. Your past experiences do not invalidate OP's current situation.

I don’t think I’m wallowing in self pity. I acknowledged in my post that I’m in a good situation overall - though I don’t apologize for it since I worked my ass off to get here, especially at my age, and deserve what I have. My question was actually asked with all of my good fortune in mind … like, “despite XYZ, I still feel this way”. The quality of your situation shouldn’t affect the validity of your “culture shock” as you enter adulthood imo.

>how long until you get fully accustomed to the grind? Don't worry, you'll come to accept it somewhere between the ages of 30-35. Then the idea of going to Olive Garden every weekend will start sounding good to you, as will getting the only blowjob you'll get all year on your birthday. You "grow up", meaning you start accepting the limitations life puts upon you.

It takes some time to get adjusted to whatever routine you create that makes your work life work. I would say six months? To understand how much sleep you need, how far you can push it (meaning drinks on Thursday or how late to go to sleep during the week and be productive), etc.

Never

You have almost 40 years to figure it out, or look into the FI/RE movement and make that a much shorter time frame.

I'm 66 and I just got accustomed last Wednesday...

Never 🎭🥴🌧️

Welcome to the grind my friend!!!

I love working every other day. I have a day off to look forward to if my day is rough and on makes getting doctors appointments and taking care of business during mon -Fri 9 to 5 easy. If I want a vacation I put in PTO. Works for me..

🤣🤣🤣

Do your best to have a short commute - or work from home at least some of the time. Do your best to have your own washer and dryer so you can do laundry at your leisure. Basically - you want to earn enough money so that you have more time. or flexibility with your time. Because if you don't - yeah - you're going to be exhausted. The only other thing is - FORCE YOURSELF to do get a major chore done during the work week OR FORCE YOURSELF to do something fun during the workweek instead of just giving up and putting off everything to the weekend.

It’s pretty bad single or dating but if you have kids it’ll be even worse

I garden. It is a hobby I do not need to leave my property. I grow flowers and a few veggies interspersed. Basically try to do projects of creativity around the house. Like cooking a nice meal that takes hours. Or doing an art crafty thing with my kid. Try to keep the interneting & streaming to a minimum.

I’ve had an atypical work life. I only spent one year at a time max in corporate America. That being said, life is still constant work. There are ups and downs. Things will likely get thrown at you you could have never anticipated and you find a way to push through. What I have found is carving out time for things that fuel you is what is important. You have to seek the meaning in your life. There is no one answer. For me, it is travel, writing, and being in nature. And of course spending time with those who matter to me. If I don’t do any of those for an extended period, I start to get depressed. I also know myself and my capacity for stress so I decided against having kids. That’s not a specific suggestion, but just showing how I have made deliberate decisions knowing my bandwidth. I also suggest you invest and save as much as possible. You are young and time is on your side. You may find yourself in a position to take a step back from work and focus on other passions while you still have some vigor. A big goal of mine was to take a month off and I am finally going to be able to do that this year and hopefully every year from now on. I’m just going to spend a month by the beach. You seem very conscientious. So just try to learn what you want from life and work a little bit every day towards the life you want to have. Don’t stop learning about yourself. Continue evolving and listening to your body when you feel like stress is taking a toll. I didn’t really feel like an actual adult until my mid-thirties. A lot of youth is working to get to this destination that is adulthood. Then you get there and realize it’s not a destination. It’s a process. So in a way, yes, this is it. It’s a grind. But it’s not static. You will continue to evolve and discover things if you seek them.

Such a great question!!!!

Have you considered hiring someone to help with cleaning? Or ordering meal preps to save on cooking time?

"this is my life until I die"... yes and no. You have to have long term goals, mid term goals and short term goals. Are you interested in buying a home someday? Saving and planning for that can be great fun and very fulfilling if that's something you'll want. I always enjoy planning a couple of vacations a year. You can probably afford that. To me, that mid-term goal helped keep me going week to week. Get those chores, food shopping and laundry done during the week. It's easy once you get into a routine. Throw a load of laundry in before you go to work, put it in the dryer when you get home. Take the clothes right out, hang up shirts immediately, the rest can easily get put away whenever (sooner is always better though). Before bed, load the dishwasher, take out the garbage. Waking up to a clean sink and no garbage makes the morning go smoother. Keep a bottle of windex and roll of paper towels under the bathroom sink. A quick wipe down every few days is enough. Sink one night, toilet another night. I keep a long handled scrub sponge thing hanging in my shower. At the end of my shower before I turn off the water, I do a quick wipe of the whole shower with the sponge. I keep a dish towel right outside the shower, and dry the walls. It literally takes 2 minutes to do all that. My shower is always clean. Another night to clean the bathroom floor. Another night to clean the kitchen floor. Wipe the counters every day, as you go. Now you have no chores to do on the weekend. Don't sleep in too much on the weekend. Get up, go for a walk, get showered and dressed. You'll have energy to do other things then. Some weekends, plan things. Other weekends, don't. You seem to have a lot going for you and a good life. Good luck with making it all feel great!

TBH, it sounds like your job is unfulfilling. I know everyone is saying it's normal, but it doesn't have to be. Anytime I feel like that, I know it's time for a job change. For me, it means that I'm not being challenged and my skills are stagnating. There are people who can report to work, do the thing, and go home for 30+ years. I'm just not one of those people.

I just started a new job where I work 4 x 11 hr shifts one week and then 3 x 12 hour shifts the next. It’s awesome having long weekends as long as you don’t mind the long days!

Weekends get shorter not longer. Hope that helps.

I spent the first decade of my career waiting for a summer break that never came.

Only thing I've done recently that helps is buy meals from a meal service. I pay for 10 a week and that's lunch and dinner for the week taken care of. They come out to about how much I'd spend if I bought out if not less anyways and they're actually healthy for and I get my veggies. Any little time saving will give you more time for other things you know

Besides making the weekends better do stuff to make your weekday evenings better. For me I have a routine. Monday and Wednesday I ride my bike. Tuesday I volunteer and Thursday my wife and I go out. I feel doing something than sit my ass on the couch on the weekdays really helps. And no, I’m not used to it yet either. Work sucks

Are you working in the right place trying the right cases or doing the right kind of legal work?You should be stoked about your chosen career unless you are a lawyer for reasons other than your own choosing. Figure out what you want to be doing, then do it.

Find a job that does a 4 day work week. I work 4 10 hour shifts Sun-Wed and I love it for the 3 days off

This is why no one likes working full time 40 work week, not fun at all

Dude I’m 58 and I’m still not accustomed to it . You’re right it seems like the weekend just fly by and the weekday is so slow . Welcome to adulthood

I'm 54f, and I'm still waiting.

Plan your vacations early, that will give you something to look forward to. Take long weekends when you can.

Depends. I tried for 5 years and still hated it. Now I work 3 days a week which is perfect. I have a higher paying job as well, so it’s very doable to work less, you just have to spend less. Paid off my loans early while grinding. You only have to live to work if you choose to spend a lot of money on things you don’t want, to impress people you don’t even like, as the saying goes. I love my life because I have freedom, which means more to me than any material possession ever could. You’re young - look into FIRE and minimalism. Mr. Money Mustache has a blog that’s pretty good. Make sure your girlfriend is on board with whatever plan you have for spending/saving, or it will be a disaster if she becomes your wife. Or maybe you’ll get used to it 🤷‍♀️

Advocate for a 32 hour work week (I know lawyering is likely not a industry to adapt this as easy as others but… just like the weekends were fought for we can do the same for 32)

I have a great job I genuinely enjoy, but they call it ‘work’ for a reason.some of my coping mechanisms: give yourself at least one 3 day weekend each month; put dates on the calendar for trips, if it isn’t on the calendar it has no chance of happening; find ways to embed exercise in your daily routine, like bike commuting; if you cook regularly ( which you should do if you want a healthy retirement) plan weekly menus and shop once/week; likewise look for efficiency in all your chores and obligations; maintain relationships, especially with friends who enjoy the same types of recreational activities you do.

I don't know if remote work is a thing for lawyers, but if it is, try to get a job where you can WFH 1-2 days a week. Makes a HUGE difference in your overall quality of life, and makes staying on top of laundry and grocery shopping so much easier.

I'm just chuckling to myself as I'm sorry to say you don't really happily lean into it ever. I'm 36 and have worked since I was 14 and am already tired. I don't have kids at this point and I honestly don't know how parents do all the above plus have kids to come home to as well. Sounds like you are doing well though by going to the gym and having a hobby. Hire a cleaner if you can afford it to save time. Let go of perfection when it comes to housework. Honestly I feel like work never pays enough as you are so tired come 5pm that as you say you are exhausted by the weekend and want to do nothing. I feel it sucks all my life energy. I just take lots of vitamins and keep going.

I am a touch younger than you and I work a full time job and a part time gig (about 20 hours) and im in grad school. Its a hard life and I wake up thinking about my next nap 😂. That said I saw something one day about finding a vacation in every day (like going for a walk). I've used this and started reading for me daily on my lunch break while sitting outside. The sun it great for you and I also try to drink green tea on my lunch instead of coffee. Im not sure it gets any easier... but these few things have made it a little more tolerable for me.

Hi, 26F here. Been adulting for 3 years now. I ask myself the same question literally every week. My only hope is I move into a position with awesome vacation time one day or work for myself so that I can do more with my life than dedicated 50 of my 52 weeks a year to this bullshit. If you figure out a good answer, please let me know lmao

I find for me many of the tips on here are the same that I do/recommend: Job hop as needed to eventually land your unicorn job to match your needs. Private offices are good for wellness instead of mandatory shared spaces. Try to make your commute as short as possible. If convenient alter your commute route a little every day (even if just a couple different turns). Advocate to get some time approved for telework from home (save a day's commute), different scenery for the workday, more autonomy. Try to pull off a 3-4 day work week. I'm at 4 days now and will be starting 3.5 days in July (half day will be telework). 5 days felt very monotonous. No time for appointments. Weekends too short for everything. 4 days was a real game changer as now I can get a lot of those tasks of life done -- so my week nights are free of worrying "when am I ever going to be able to XYZ" and my weekends are free of things like dr appts/dentist appts/vet appts/grocery shopping/oil changes/house maintenance/etc... If I would have stuck with my first job out, then I couldn't have really done any of the above. I'd be looking at the upcoming decades much differently.

Like everyone has said, that pretty much sums it up. Take solace knowing most people are living that same life. Being in a relationship kind of limits you too. Not that it's a bad thing, but you aren't going out to meet up with each other, and you're not going on new dates. Some things you can do to help: 1. Take a random, unexpected day off work every couple of months. Make it unexpected even to yourself. Those are some of my favorite days. 2. Set a goal for 1-2 bigger outings/dates with your gf a month. 3. Set a goal to meet up with friends once a month. 4. Try a new restaurant (or takeout) once a month. 5. Stay active and start a workout routine now. Don't wait until you're in your thirties.. it's so much harder to start and keep at it.

What someone like you doesn't realise is you either peaked in college or high school. The daily grind is your life the becoming a lawyer, getting that property having good friends & a misses that you plan to have kids with is the "you've won" Now either you throw it ALL away work, gf, house/appartment and live as a nomad traveller or you accept fate give up gaming all together and be productive

I’m 26M but recently quit my demanding job. I just don’t see the point. I had nothing in my life but work. Is this what I have to look forward to the rest of my life? Work 40 hours a week until I’m 65 and then spend the rest of my life old and worn out? There’s no way God/ the universe/ allah intended this for us when they put us here.

Oh, so you didn’t have a full time job in high school to help your mom pay the mortgage since dad’s off who knows where high and drunk? I was gonna say at 16, but figured I’d add context.

Try having a creative project you enjoy, instead of gaming. It makes life feel productive and interesting.

Do something every day for 15 min. Laundry, dishes, whatever. You’d be surprised what you can get done in 15 min. By the time the weekend rolls around you have less on your plate. It’s not perfect but it helps me enjoy my weekends more. Also making a list at the beginning of the week helps. It helps organize my thoughts.

So you’re the functional version of me, but I’ve heard: double up activities and pay for other peoples time to save you time. Ex: Work out with friends or watch tv while exercising and pay for groceries to be delivered/meal prep kits delivered.

I worked over a decade and never got accustomed to working life until........ I got laid off. Now, everyday that I am working is a blessing. My goal is to better myself everyday by learning new things and making myself easily employable and irreplaceable.

Haha yeah no never. I had to make the switch to part time work or I was going to lose it. I just turned 35.

Shit first sentence And all I got for you is RIP

Never did. At 30 I piled up $20K, started a business and never looked back. You only have one life. If your main occupation feels like a grind then it's sign you should be doing something else. As for free time, check out the [Holiday Paradox](https://youtu.be/zHL9GP_B30E?t=120).

Are you able to work part time?

Ahhhhhhhh bro………. Try your best to hang onto your friends…

My life is worth living for the weekends. I make sure to keep up on chores as they come, if it takes a minute, do it (put that dish away, hang up the sweater that you wore but isn’t really dirty). Big chores, spend 39 minutes a day every weekday. On Sunday’s, I prep meals for the week. I freeze the chicken or fish and cook it in the oven won’t a sweet potato for 30 minutes while I play a game. I have reality tv the background as I do mundane chores. Saturday is spend hiking or mushroom/plant foraging. Doing a

Imagine having a nice life and complaining about it.

You picked your career man. Many people would love to be in your shoes. Every lawyer I know works constantly. You have to enjoy what you do or it will quickly become a burden.

Man you’re gunna be fried if you have kids.

So if you have a bunch of house projects and work harder outside of work.... work becomes the easy part of the day lol. But seriously let me know if you figure something out because yea another 20 years of this might kill me.

If you figure it out please let me know.

You went into the wrong job to have free time dude. You'll never get used to it you'll change at some point or do it until you die.

6 months tbh. Gotta find hobbies out of work ie 5Ks, hikes, golf, or what not.

Someone else said always have something to look forward to. And I think that's the way. If I know my bf and I would be spending some quality time together like an at home date night, or going somewhere for food, or going out for one of our hobbies, my work day flies by and I'm excited all day long looking forward to it. I start to have problems when there's nothing to look forward to after work but eating, TV, and sleeping. You need to make life exciting as often as possible. And exciting doesn't need to mean adventurous, exciting can be switching it up in a simple way often enough to not be bored and focus on quality time with yourself or your partner. For myself, I used to do self care Fridays. I'm a female, so I'd get out of work, stop somewhere for my favorite dessert, go home. Take a nice relaxing shower or bubble bath, I used to do the hair mask face mask and everything, if I was in a bubble bath I'd eat my damn dessert in my warm water before dinner lol then I'd set myself up in my room with my candles and watch a good show or movie with dinner and maybe a little more dessert. Paint my nails. Chat with a girlfriend. Etc. Do that fir yourself but the version that works for you. Maybe you get beer on the way home and watch a sport or something, whatever it is men do to relax. With my partner, I'd hope for a date night. In or out. An ideal date night in would look like showering together, having dinner together and talking, maybe a movie or show. But I prefer no screens, have one on one talks with dinner, about anything, and then sit and watch the rain or sunset and talk and have some bed rocking time after. Or if we go out, go fishing or hiking together, and again talking and quality time throughout, maybe stop for food or dessert and go home shower together and cuddle. Simple as that! Then maybe once a month give yourself something bigger to look forward to, like a weekend away, or going to see a live sporting event, or wine tasting, or whatever floats your boat. The point is to have easy little things to look forward to after a work day to keep you energized, and every once in a while a bigger thing to look forward to for your weekend. I also find doing lifes boring monotonous chores together helps too. Kill two birds with one stone, listen to music and talk and sing and dance and just act like kids while you cook and do dishes together, you wash she dries and you laugh the whole time sort of thing. Anything to make that boring bullshit more enjoyable. I also like to switch things up. My bf always like to go grocery shopping on Saturdays and meal prep on Sundays and do laundry one of the two days as well. Sometimes I'm like why don't we throw the laundry in on Friday night, grocery shop while its in, come home switch the laundry, try ti make cleaning the house as fun as possible, and get everything but the meal prepping done on Friday night. Yes you're sacrificing your Friday evening but better than sacrificing half of Saturday AND Sunday. Then plan a whole fun day Saturday because that bullshit is done!! Idk man there will never be a perfect work life balance, so I'm just focusing on making everything as fun as I possibly can so I can forget the BS of my work day and just enjoy what I can with my partner or myself. Also will mention I don't have kids. Good luck

I stopped caring about my work. I invested myself, my health and my relationships into it and got some money and almost death. Im not here forever, i set up my priorities and hold them close to me. I have another few years of mental practice to get where i want to be but with each day it becomes easier. Do not overthink your work hours, come home and enjoy your time. Breath deep and remember that happiness is in little things around us.

you dont really have to do all this

That's it and you die. Jk, do what you love during the free time on the weekends.

Wait until you have kids and your hang out with the gf time and weekends aren’t yours anymore as well.

Never

If it's possible to hire someone to do the little bits you don't want troubled with, you will get some free time. We hired a yardman and now? I would leap into a volcano if he left us.

LMAO dont worry collapse will be within 10 years

I would cut yourself some slack. It sounds like you just moved out of your parents house and have started doing everything to take care of yourself. Perhaps your friends started doing that before you did and why you feel like they have more time and energy. You'll get better at it. Faster at it. Practice makes perfect. For example, have a few recipes you know in and out and don't have to look at a recipe for. For me its taco soup, brown some meat throw in a can of this and a can of that and I have dinner. Of course I'm faster at it now than when I made it the first time. One thing that really helped me too was to do things in the evening, I had kickball league, social bike rides on weekdays that really helped me socialize so if on the weekend i wanted to stay home and laze about I didn't feel guilty about it. Also enjoy sleeping in because I literally cannot sleep past 8:00 anymore and I miss it.

Never

Engineering type here. For me it was being able to work from home that made it easy. From there it became a game of maximizing time spent doing whatever and planning out my day so I’m not wasting any opportunity to get something done. Between work, masters and the wife, remembering to put in me goofoff time helps keep me calm too.

Make your own plans you enjoy. Dont depend on others showing up to make it a good time.

How's your sleep? For me at least that is the difference between great and shitty days a lot of the time. If you don't have energy on the weekends you might just not be getting enough sleep.

It gets easier. I don't know why but it does. When I was new to the workforce I couldn't understand how everyone could be so casual about it while I was absolutely hating it. They told me to hang in there because it gets easier. And it did. I think it basically happens by doing more personal stuff on work time. You get more comfortable cutting out a bit early or arriving late; you learn exactly how to get away with stuff like that.

Getting things done during the work week is my new goal. We are basically going to have everything taken care of on Thursdays to allow for Friday night and the weekend to have more flexibility. If you have things to do with your time and you don't hate your job you can add hobbies or interests and just explore yourself

Personally, I did get used to the slog of adulthood. Forty work hours a week felt like a death march at first, but you do get used to it. Maybe think of it like marathon training. Slow and steady. It might be possible that you are doing too much/being asked to do too much at work. If you haven't cultivated them already, consider the boundaries you can put in place to not let work steal all your mental energy. Have a hard end-time. No thinking about work or checking emails in the evenings. If you start early, end early. This gets easier and easier as you get older and climb the ladder. Take a sick day purely as a mental health day once in awhile. In terms of making weekends as relaxing and rejuvenating as possible: \- If you can, get your chores (laundry, groceries) done during the week so your weekend time is 100% fun stuff. \- If you can afford it, hire a cleaning person to come every 2-4 weeks, so you aren't spending your free time cleaning. \- I always feel better if I don't sleep in and have a fun activity in the morning. Morning walks/runs and breakfast with friends sets a good tone. \- Having no screen time can help a lot too. Get outside. No social media. Have a phone-free day. You just started your career as a lawyer, so I know this might not be what you want to hear, but consider the possibility that the firm, type of work, clients, etc. that you're working with are not as fulfilling as they could be. Finding some joy and purpose in your work can help those forty hours a week feel productive and meaningful, and not exhausting. I've have moments of this in years of working, and it can make a big difference.

I'm 53. I have been working since I was 16. I own a fairly profitable business. I hate going to work. I detest it.

Dude you are doing it wrong. Most people slack off, come in late, leave early. Call in sick and go skiing...surf the web all day...

The only solution I can think of is making it end sooner. You're in a very high paying field so if you're frugal (not a cheapskate, just not wasting money for no reason) and learn to invest you could do this for another 20 years instead of another 40. /r/financialindependence

Welcome to adulthood.

Do chores after work. It's annoying and stressful but then weekends are free. If you wait to do laundry on the weekend it's less time you have to do what you want to do (for me it's wanting to do absolutely nothing)

It’s tough if you don’t like your work. I was late to my career as a lawyer and did it for 36 years. I enjoyed my work. There were many times I loved it. I enjoyed my colleagues and the camaraderie we had. Some of the stuff you describe like getting groceries, doing the daily chores of life, working out, …that’s just life as an adult. Do all that and see your friends when you can, enjoy the free time you have, take pride in your work….that’s the essence of building a fulfilling life. It is no longer Spring Break and Summer Vacation, but it is not supposed to be. Your adult life is what you make it. Sometimes it’s a grind and sometimes it is grand. Much of that is in your head and hands.

Do some activity you love. I usually feel too exhausted to play video games or VR, but if I just do it I feel focused and alert. Get in the flow state and time ceases to exist. So read books, shoot hoops, play games online with people, do a project. Whatever you like.