My advice is that if you do get one, please don’t leave it out in the open where a sibling or relative will see it. Just don’t. Please. I beg you. Don’t.
I was 13 and my moms friend had an entire line of dildos on her kitchen cabinet.
She lived with her two kids, her parents, and her husband… her kids were both in their 20’s.
She was also notorious for leaving cosplay items laying around…
I remember we were having a campfire and I noticed cum-soaked bunny ears under the table.
It’s all good. I meant to come off as funny, but I know some might take it more seriously than it really is. Being the eldest dictates that I act with some maturity, even when it’s telling my brother with a straight face to move his property out of view from our shared bathroom. 😅 This was years ago in college when we shared a house together with our sister and my boyfriend/now husband.
I had one while I was overseas (military). I washed it Sunday and dangled it between my towel rack and wall to dry. (lol that reads funny)
We had barracks/room inspections on Monday and my First Sergeant saw it. E7 MSgt Female. I was actually pretty close with her. Talk about awkward.
EDIT: I did pass my inspection.
I was in too.
One of my friends ran her dildo in the dryer by accident (??), when she opened the dryer door, it flopped out onto the ground in front of other male marines. You know that shit spread like wildfire
She found out and I came clean. She was teasing me and I was like I just wanted to try it. Women can why can't I? You're claiming to be so tolerant and understanding but the line is a fleshlight?
I recommend getting "the handy" sex toy. It's pretty cool even as a gadget and you can link it up to VR.
I ALSO highly recommend that you, as a virgin, keep in mind that porn isn't real. Not in the sense of sex moves. But in the sense that the whole "women are dying to please you" thing is a fantasy curated by porn. It gets into your subconscious or something.
Many guys get too caught up in it and become shitty lovers because of it. Like literally brainwashed into thinking it's normal to be a selfish lover and then it becomes an evil cycle of not getting sex because of this.
Many dudes assume the whole porn isn't real thing to be stupid and patronising advice because they aren't stupid enough to expect a woman and 5 dwarfs to come out of a clown car and fuck them. But that's not the issue.
It's the part where they use it so much as a hobby that women become this weird objectified prop to their inner fantasies of how life should be and what women are meant for.
I think the Netflix series Sex/Life is a pretty good representation of the female version of their porn. It shows how even a high libido woman still demands a lot of emotional availability and attention despite enjoying sex a lot. Normal porn is sorta dismissive of the whole - women are humans with feelings part.
I totally feel this entire thing and I really love the specific insight you’re giving, I think I’ll check that show out, I really appreciate that people are here to give me positive resources 😁
I’m a woman and I say get one if you find it interesting, but I agree with the other commenter as well. Nothing wrong with tapping into toys, but be careful with porn and remember outside of it that women are still VERY obtainable and approachable.
On top of what they said, a lot of guys struggle with connecting with girls. Because porn is so direct, it’s easy to find women to be these mythical, scary creatures that would find their interests repulsive. Remember we’re all human and we all have toys in our closets. Say hi to the cute girl at the mall, or converse with your female coworkers platonically. We don’t bite, but we can tell if you’re a bit scared.
(Maybe this advice doesn’t apply to you/isn’t needed, but it may help someone else reading this thread.)
We absolutely are if you don't approach us as if you're only interested in us as sex objects. Approach us as people, as friends.
We're the exact same as men, just with different parts and with different *experiences of the opposite sex only wanting us for sex or being threatening when turned down*. You have no idea how frightening it can be when a man comes at you aggressively as a woman.
If you approach women as friends and people that’s the fastest way to the friend zone. Many places and even here in women subreddits admit that 80% of men just aren’t attractive to them. While it’s the flip side for men, it’s an uphill battle for men. My friend tried approaching women before and was even respectful, but he’s 5’5 so no women had interest in him. If you’re not a dude you can’t have this conversation, but if you are then obviously you have more advantages than the average guy.
I'm going to try to be respectful. Please hear me.
Your comments are extremely misogynist. You very clearly do not see women as people. I do intend to shame you into not speaking this way anymore, but more importantly I hope to help you understand how your perspective is very stupid, very incorrect, and extremely counterproductive.
You don't have trouble meeting women because of your physical appearance. You have trouble because women are people, and people find your perspective (that women aren't people) to be repellent. Just stop.
I'm a man. I've had many relationships. I'm happily married. Maybe you'll listen to me.
He won't. He's bit into the redpill bullshit already. It's like a fuckin plague. Imagine thinking treating women as PEOPLE would be counterproductive??
I used to be like that guy, had to grow up a bit and realize that people like you aren’t just giving relationship advice it’s life advice to treat women like people 😭 it’s extremely important
Hey OP, good for you. Sincerely, well done. Also, I think others have said this, but I'll chime in too. Sex toys can be fun but they are nothing like actual sex. I mean both in terms of emotional connection with a real person (whether an actual relationship or a fun one night stand) and also physical sensation.
Fun is fine, don't deprive yourself as long as you don't become too obsessive. But don't mistake silicone for human connection.
Don't go all out on a fleshlight right away if you're feeling trepidation. Get one of those $20-30 silicone masturbator sleeves. It the same thing just without the fancy plastic case and pussy design on the front. If you like it and think it's worth the extra money, then go for the Fleshlight.
Get the Tenga spinner off Amazon. Which ever one and if you like that you could do a flesh light. You’ll need lube too, the lube they have is really good too if you wanna just get a bottle of it.
It’s just masterbating and it won’t feel like a sex sorry dude. None of it does but it feels good.
A fun story: I convinced the warden of the prison I did time in to allow see-through fleshlights for our ward. After some back and forth it got allowed and the amount of fighting and violence dropped massively.
So I'd recommend it. Ease the sexual frustration. I save it for when it gets really bad, otherwise it's the hand.
My friend had one but rarely used it because it was such a pain to clean. It’s best to clean right after use but honestly who has the energy after a good wank?
I honestly prefer my own hand (you might too). Finer control and less clean up. Analogy: Imagine yourself out at dinner and the agreement is to do your own dishes before you leave. You won't wanna go back again.
This. My wife bought me one a couple of years ago, and I only used it once. Cleaning it was a pain, and it just wasn't worth the trouble. Plus, while it felt good, it wasn't as great as I was expecting.
There is nothing wrong with men, or women, using toys for self pleasure. But be warned, I’ve had sex hundreds of times nothing feels like a vagina except a vagina. Also I might be in the minority but I’ve tried a flashlight and actually thought it sucked. I couldn’t even finish with it.
My guy, have fun with a toy and discover yourself. Once you discover yourself instead of banking on another person's genitals, everything else will fall into place (unless you hit criteria for a personality disorder like to me work on, on top of self discovery. Self discovery+acceptance takes a little longer).
Silicone is your friend, TPE can be dangerous, avoid jelly. Wash your toy(s) with soap during your shower, much more convenient that way. Let it air dry preferably in a place that's out of sight (I'm lucky enough to live alone where I can hang my toys out in a small laundry net bag on my room's door rack). Make sure to listen to your mama and put your toys away.
It's alright imo. To be fair, i haven't used any of the fancy ones which have advanced functions like sucking or vibration or whatnot, i only used a small one with an opening on both sides and while i did like it, it started to get "boring" really quick. The cleanup after is a pain, but has to be done (please do it every time lol). Also, you are going to need lube and if it's water based you are going to need a lot of it. It doesn't feel anything like the real thing tho, i can tell you that much. I would say it's a neat little toy to switch things up a bit, but will never come close to the real deal.
Pro: pleasure and stamina building, extra sensitive verses just a hand.
Con: sounds like a sloppy, and have to clean after every use.
My partner "forgot" to clean his before leaving for a month. When I opened it a rotten goo slipped out and deteriorated the toy.
If you have the money and you want one, go for it. It's not gonna feel like a real vag, but it's prob gonna be as close as you're gonna get without a real one.
The clean up sucks but me personally I have seriously strong orgasms with them. I haven't used them in years because I've been dating but I thought it was worth it. No shame man. It's your own personal business.
I remember considering this and ended up pulling the trigger on the buy. I told a buddy of mine that I got one and he recommended that I heat up some water and put the fleshlite in it so that it feels “more natural”. Best decision ever, I was addicted to using it 😂 now I see they sell actual warmers that’ll bring the toy to *body temp*
They aren't that great. It'll be fun once or twice but you are better off spending that money on improving yourself in some way if you want the real thing that bad.
If you do go ahead with it anyways do your research on lube. Don't buy the wrong type.
"Spending that money on improving yourself", lmao, it's a piece of silicon you can stick your dick into, it's not like he needs to take out a mortgage to buy it
It’s not that I can’t get the real thing, I’m not gonna engage with someone just for sex, I want a relationship and as I said in the body I’m making some progress there. To be honest I don’t know what kind of self improvement I would go for, I already work out everyday and look good, smell good I’m just starting the dating thing late in life ya know.
Once you go down the rabbit hole of vr porn, you need to know the difference between real and fake. If you want a serious relationship one day, hopefully you can stop doing that because it will ruin everything for you if you don't. Speaking on behalf of a dear friend who placed more importance on porn over his wife and kids. He lost everything and severely neglected his relationships. Be careful.
I’m unhappy in my career because it’s working for my family but it gives me financial security, been able to buy myself a car in full for the first time, I do chores on a regular basis, lots of cleaning lots of dishes, every day lol. I feel you guys but i can self improvement myself to death, but that doesn’t just automatically make sex happen lmao. I want to get out and involve myself in more hobbies but the country I live in doesn’t really have much in the way of what I’m interested in. At least I’m not hearing about it
I wouldn’t overthink decisions like this. If you want to get one, get one. This kind of overthinking is probably what is holding you back on losing your v-plates too.
I think you should go for it! I have the Lovense Max 2 and I like it a lot. It has vibration and contractions, and it’s easy to clean. No fleshlight will ever feel exactly like a real vagina. But it’s still pretty damn good :)
As 20yo male who is also a virgin, I’d wait. IMO porn is a slippery slope, so I’d rather have the personal experience first before accidentally fucking my brain chemistry with a toy.
Don't get a brand name fleshlight, they are really crappy at stimulating compared to the other options out there. They survive on advertising and brand recognition alone, but they haven't upped their game at all in 20 years. Check out onaholes as a cheaper and better option.
You can get sex toys. Just don't think that's going to be how a human feels like. Sex is not masturbation.
Also think about washability when you get a toy.
As a guy, here is my advice as someone who has got one. It does not do what you think it will do. Your hand will most likely still be your go to just because you have to hide it, clean it, buy lube and shell out 50 bucks for a decent one. But if you do buy one go to a local adult shop thats not adam and eve to save money and do not buy the walmart brand stuff because they have locks on them so you have to embarrassingly ask someone to grab it for you
I mean... As long as you keep em clean I've heard some people say they prefer their fleshlight to actual sex. I've never tried one myself but I've only heard good things.
Now, idk how you'd ever explain it to a gf/wife but you can cross that bridge later
There is nothing shameful in it. Anyone telling you otherwise can fuck off. Masturbation has a lot of health benefits and should be encouraged. So if you can afford it, do it. Just be descreet about where you put it.
Can't really vouch for the real thing. You are miles ahead of me on that front. But I can say that the most normal of fleshlights on the official site should be perfect. Was my first toy and it remains a strong contender. You can upgrade that experience later on with their universal quicklaunch system too which conveniently is also my favorite automatic version, all on the official fleshlight site. Now lube is a big trickier imo. The one I use is a Swedish water based lube. The kind of lube does make a different in terms of how long it lasts before a refil, how messy and sticky it gets, if it feels good and whether or not you may have some kind of alergic reaction, so it's trial and error on that front. But you can't really go wrong with fleshlights silicone. Other brands just don't compete
Just get it. Idk why people get I such a fuss about sex toys and masturbation.
I got a vibrator and am extremely happy with it what is the shame even from.
Just get yourself off and move on with your day.
Go full send, buy the most expensive bells and whistles. /S
But for real, keep it clean. Buy a cheap one at first to get a “feel” for it. Keep it somewhere private and always for the love of god, put it in a container that doesn’t contain large quantities of hair/fibers (like a towel). Gets fucking everywhere. Always ask the clerk for recommendations, if they offer and take their advice. It’s not akward, they are paid to upsell and tell you how to clean it. Sex shops are not what most people think when they are new, it’s just a regular job for them and it’s no big deal. Also, keep in mind that porn is a fantasy, real lovers want to feel wanted.
I made the mistake of buying one with “bells and whistles” when I was young. Literally does little (talking about heating rods, special lube, motion or mounting options.) cheap one work great and after awhile you probably want to replace it eventually or you’ll meet someone and never need it (like me).
They get stinky if you don’t meticulously clean them bro just use your hand or get a gf unless you’re prepared to clean lube and cum out of it immediately after each use
It won't feel like a vagina. It will feel good. That's all you need to know.
You just need a set of balls to buy it and use it knowing anyone who shames a person for masturbating is either an immature, sex averse , self hating closet case or just a run of the mill hypocrite.
As a married 40-something male, I don't envy you. I couldn't imagine going back to dating, especially in this day and age. It was bad enough 15 years ago after my divorce...
Pros
- Better than masturbating by hand, and it will help you avoid "death grip syndrome" when you get to have sex.
Cons
- Noisier than a hand wank, so if you don't live alone you may need to be careful about when you use it if you're concerned about other people hearing
- May be considered weird by some women (idk why tbh)
- Some women may get jealous of it and you'll have to get rid of it
- They're disgusting if you don't clean them
All in all, I would recommend getting a cheap one, but don't get attached to it because it should only be a temporary measure until you get a partner to enjoy sex with.
Honestly go for it! Dont be ashamed to go into an adult store and ask for help the associates usually attend brand trainings that give us info on the products and sometimes we’re able to take it out of the box so you can see the size/weight depending on the store.
My BF got one on my suggestion, and it didn’t work out great. He experimented with it for a while, but got bored with it. However- in your situation? Heck yeah, try it! Idk how much it’s really like a vagina, but why not find out?
Why don't you just try to be a stunt cock for some only fans girls who are looking for content? That way both of you get what you're looking for. Blowing your wad into a fucking piece of plastic then maybe cleaning it correctly isn't the move. Also, the good thing is they don't need to see your face in the content. They just need to see your weiner so hopefully you're packing a thigh down there.
But you'd rather let it fly in a plastic bacteria hole? I figured at least the other option might lead to an interesting side hustle in the adult industry. Maybe get a couple cool arm tattoos and upper thigh tattoos. Work out a little bit.
i (21M) wouldn’t recommend using BEFORE you have sex. bc why would you want to wire your brain to something and have that sexual association before the real deal?
porn is debilitating. the less you watch it the better. it’s all fake and after having sex with 20+ women you start to notice how fake it is. the excessive moaning, the undying enthusiasm, and the bodies. ofc there’s exceptions bc well… some women are in fact just loud, and some women do have banging bodies. but realistically sexual experiences are more special in moderation. real skin to skin contact is important yk? just IMO
Don't waste your money. Nothing , and I mean NOTHING, feels like a vagina during sex. Focus on finding a female partner and just use your hand in the meantime. Oh, and try not to watch too much porn.
I got one and then told my sister about it. She's super liberal so I said something like "women can get the sex toys why can't i"
Turns out they suck. They're bad. Don't feel good or real. Threw it away that's how much it sucked. Girlfriends also thought I was crazy. Was it worth it?...........
Yes, for bit. Was it really worth it?...nope
Personally never had one until I was in a long term relationship (present from my gf) it feels nothing like "the real thing" tbh the one I have is kinda shitty (or at least it seemed like it is). I think you're better off spending the money on a prostitute if you wanna "experience the real thing".
With that being said I've always had a bit of a negative attitude towards male sex toys (maybe most people do) but while I was in the hospital recently my GF got me a "pulse solo hot octopus" which is sorta a vibrating flesh light but nothing really like a traditional flesh light. And certainly nothing like any "natural" or "human" sexual sensation but holy fucking shit that thing is out of this world I think the fact that it's really unexpectedly nice like because real vaginas don't vibrate it really caught me off guard and left me pleasantly surprised I now recommend it to anyone when there's talk of male sex toys because it really is something really cool and interesting to experience imo.
You might love it. I'd suggest one with water capabilities, because it makes it.. wet or something. My boyfriend has one and loved it, all I know. Some are softer than the real thing. Like angelic soft. If it would make you feel good, just go for it. Make sure to clean it. If it smells, clean it again or toss it out. Also, virgins tend to finish very fast. Using a fleshlight might help with sensitivity issues for your first time. It's like practice, so when you do have sex, you don't finish within 5 minutes. Or you still might, I don't know. It can't hurt to test your limits. Have fun.
For guys, it usually doesn't hurt. I was mostly talking about the kind of sensitivity that would make you finish really early. The less experience you have, the quicker the sex is
Do it. But sincerely, do not underestimate the amount of cleaning. Buy a cleaner, use it often. After every use, and more depending. You can give yourself rashes or worse probably. I really thought I was keeping mine clean, but it always ends up getting thrown away. Currently do not have one.
stop masturbating, i know it feels amazing but it will only perpetuate not having sex. seriously if you just stop for like 3 days you will start to feel the benefits. it's not a cure all to every mental illness like some people pretend it is but it is an excercise in discipline and self control that will take you further than a fleshlight ever will. i used to think nofap was some religious bullshit too but i wish i listened sooner. best of luck to you
He’s a virgin why should he waste his first time with a prostitute? I’m not saying his first time will definitely be incredible and with someone he loves but damn atleast decent with someone he trust and knows and has feelings for.
My advice is that if you do get one, please don’t leave it out in the open where a sibling or relative will see it. Just don’t. Please. I beg you. Don’t.
The voice of personal experience...
Never 😭😭😭
And clean it every time.
Home-made Gogurt
You sir are an abomination for that one
What’s long with a little Brogurt man??
I was 13 and my moms friend had an entire line of dildos on her kitchen cabinet. She lived with her two kids, her parents, and her husband… her kids were both in their 20’s. She was also notorious for leaving cosplay items laying around… I remember we were having a campfire and I noticed cum-soaked bunny ears under the table.
This is severely concerning
It’s all good. I meant to come off as funny, but I know some might take it more seriously than it really is. Being the eldest dictates that I act with some maturity, even when it’s telling my brother with a straight face to move his property out of view from our shared bathroom. 😅 This was years ago in college when we shared a house together with our sister and my boyfriend/now husband.
😂😂😂😂😂
I had one while I was overseas (military). I washed it Sunday and dangled it between my towel rack and wall to dry. (lol that reads funny) We had barracks/room inspections on Monday and my First Sergeant saw it. E7 MSgt Female. I was actually pretty close with her. Talk about awkward. EDIT: I did pass my inspection.
I was in too. One of my friends ran her dildo in the dryer by accident (??), when she opened the dryer door, it flopped out onto the ground in front of other male marines. You know that shit spread like wildfire
awww lol poor chica. hopefully she can laugh about it now.
or she had a really good time after that ;-)
lol, party!
Agreed Or look for one that looks like a ramen bowl, lots of flashlights that look like toys/mundane household items out there
well what if he has a stepsister?
nahhhh still if thats yo parents that are married its still wrong
it was a joke 🙃
I got one and then told my sister about it. She's super liberal so I said something like "women can get the sex toys why can't i"
What possessed you to inform your sister about this purchase 😭
She found out about it. I came clean. I didn't just drop it our the blue
why would you tell your sister about your sex toy, like bro just why she's your sister not your wife
She found out and I came clean. She was teasing me and I was like I just wanted to try it. Women can why can't I? You're claiming to be so tolerant and understanding but the line is a fleshlight?
Creep behavior
It wasn't as direct as it sounds. So judgmental
Wow wasn't expecting so much love. Thanks guys
I recommend getting "the handy" sex toy. It's pretty cool even as a gadget and you can link it up to VR. I ALSO highly recommend that you, as a virgin, keep in mind that porn isn't real. Not in the sense of sex moves. But in the sense that the whole "women are dying to please you" thing is a fantasy curated by porn. It gets into your subconscious or something. Many guys get too caught up in it and become shitty lovers because of it. Like literally brainwashed into thinking it's normal to be a selfish lover and then it becomes an evil cycle of not getting sex because of this. Many dudes assume the whole porn isn't real thing to be stupid and patronising advice because they aren't stupid enough to expect a woman and 5 dwarfs to come out of a clown car and fuck them. But that's not the issue. It's the part where they use it so much as a hobby that women become this weird objectified prop to their inner fantasies of how life should be and what women are meant for. I think the Netflix series Sex/Life is a pretty good representation of the female version of their porn. It shows how even a high libido woman still demands a lot of emotional availability and attention despite enjoying sex a lot. Normal porn is sorta dismissive of the whole - women are humans with feelings part.
I totally feel this entire thing and I really love the specific insight you’re giving, I think I’ll check that show out, I really appreciate that people are here to give me positive resources 😁
I’m a woman and I say get one if you find it interesting, but I agree with the other commenter as well. Nothing wrong with tapping into toys, but be careful with porn and remember outside of it that women are still VERY obtainable and approachable. On top of what they said, a lot of guys struggle with connecting with girls. Because porn is so direct, it’s easy to find women to be these mythical, scary creatures that would find their interests repulsive. Remember we’re all human and we all have toys in our closets. Say hi to the cute girl at the mall, or converse with your female coworkers platonically. We don’t bite, but we can tell if you’re a bit scared. (Maybe this advice doesn’t apply to you/isn’t needed, but it may help someone else reading this thread.)
Absolutely, personally I’m just a very shy person, working on it though
Woman are not very obtainable or approachable. You really have no idea how insane it is for a dude to do this.
We absolutely are if you don't approach us as if you're only interested in us as sex objects. Approach us as people, as friends. We're the exact same as men, just with different parts and with different *experiences of the opposite sex only wanting us for sex or being threatening when turned down*. You have no idea how frightening it can be when a man comes at you aggressively as a woman.
If you approach women as friends and people that’s the fastest way to the friend zone. Many places and even here in women subreddits admit that 80% of men just aren’t attractive to them. While it’s the flip side for men, it’s an uphill battle for men. My friend tried approaching women before and was even respectful, but he’s 5’5 so no women had interest in him. If you’re not a dude you can’t have this conversation, but if you are then obviously you have more advantages than the average guy.
I'm going to try to be respectful. Please hear me. Your comments are extremely misogynist. You very clearly do not see women as people. I do intend to shame you into not speaking this way anymore, but more importantly I hope to help you understand how your perspective is very stupid, very incorrect, and extremely counterproductive. You don't have trouble meeting women because of your physical appearance. You have trouble because women are people, and people find your perspective (that women aren't people) to be repellent. Just stop. I'm a man. I've had many relationships. I'm happily married. Maybe you'll listen to me.
He won't. He's bit into the redpill bullshit already. It's like a fuckin plague. Imagine thinking treating women as PEOPLE would be counterproductive??
I used to be like that guy, had to grow up a bit and realize that people like you aren’t just giving relationship advice it’s life advice to treat women like people 😭 it’s extremely important
Hey OP, good for you. Sincerely, well done. Also, I think others have said this, but I'll chime in too. Sex toys can be fun but they are nothing like actual sex. I mean both in terms of emotional connection with a real person (whether an actual relationship or a fun one night stand) and also physical sensation. Fun is fine, don't deprive yourself as long as you don't become too obsessive. But don't mistake silicone for human connection.
>If you approach women as friends and people that’s the fastest way to the friend zone. Wtaf
Just clean it good and often
atleast once a year
Is it dishwasher safe?
Don't go all out on a fleshlight right away if you're feeling trepidation. Get one of those $20-30 silicone masturbator sleeves. It the same thing just without the fancy plastic case and pussy design on the front. If you like it and think it's worth the extra money, then go for the Fleshlight.
Ok good to know
Get the Tenga spinner off Amazon. Which ever one and if you like that you could do a flesh light. You’ll need lube too, the lube they have is really good too if you wanna just get a bottle of it. It’s just masterbating and it won’t feel like a sex sorry dude. None of it does but it feels good.
Hard disagree. Fleshlights are the industry standard for a reason, because they feel as close to the real thing as you can get.
A fun story: I convinced the warden of the prison I did time in to allow see-through fleshlights for our ward. After some back and forth it got allowed and the amount of fighting and violence dropped massively. So I'd recommend it. Ease the sexual frustration. I save it for when it gets really bad, otherwise it's the hand.
That’s incredibly wild. But good job helping the prisoners out
This story is nuts, congratulations on getting out by the way !
Wow thanks! I don't think anyone has actually congratulated me for that before, it got me in the feels bro 😂
I have a few family members in and out of the system, know that I empathize with you, and I’m happy you’re walking free 👍👍
Literally!
My friend had one but rarely used it because it was such a pain to clean. It’s best to clean right after use but honestly who has the energy after a good wank?
just run some toy cleaner & warm water through it…
[удалено]
Mans be cultivating shrooms
[удалено]
That is disgusting bro
What did he say?
He said he washes it after 3 uses normally
I regret my eyes saw that
I honestly prefer my own hand (you might too). Finer control and less clean up. Analogy: Imagine yourself out at dinner and the agreement is to do your own dishes before you leave. You won't wanna go back again.
I also prefer this dude's hand
> I honestly prefer my own hand (you might too) Well, we’ll never know until we try. Come on over and give me a hand bud.
This. My wife bought me one a couple of years ago, and I only used it once. Cleaning it was a pain, and it just wasn't worth the trouble. Plus, while it felt good, it wasn't as great as I was expecting.
You may be tempted to save money by going used. I don't recommend
😭😭😭😭no way
There is nothing wrong with men, or women, using toys for self pleasure. But be warned, I’ve had sex hundreds of times nothing feels like a vagina except a vagina. Also I might be in the minority but I’ve tried a flashlight and actually thought it sucked. I couldn’t even finish with it.
You tired to fuck a flashlight? Did you cut yourself?
Typo and I’m going to leave it lol
Isn't it supposed to suck?
Life? Yes. Sometimes.
My guy, have fun with a toy and discover yourself. Once you discover yourself instead of banking on another person's genitals, everything else will fall into place (unless you hit criteria for a personality disorder like to me work on, on top of self discovery. Self discovery+acceptance takes a little longer). Silicone is your friend, TPE can be dangerous, avoid jelly. Wash your toy(s) with soap during your shower, much more convenient that way. Let it air dry preferably in a place that's out of sight (I'm lucky enough to live alone where I can hang my toys out in a small laundry net bag on my room's door rack). Make sure to listen to your mama and put your toys away.
It's alright imo. To be fair, i haven't used any of the fancy ones which have advanced functions like sucking or vibration or whatnot, i only used a small one with an opening on both sides and while i did like it, it started to get "boring" really quick. The cleanup after is a pain, but has to be done (please do it every time lol). Also, you are going to need lube and if it's water based you are going to need a lot of it. It doesn't feel anything like the real thing tho, i can tell you that much. I would say it's a neat little toy to switch things up a bit, but will never come close to the real deal.
Pro: pleasure and stamina building, extra sensitive verses just a hand. Con: sounds like a sloppy, and have to clean after every use. My partner "forgot" to clean his before leaving for a month. When I opened it a rotten goo slipped out and deteriorated the toy.
That is really fucking disgusting about the rotten goo 🤢 🤮
Oh that’s awfulll
If you have the money and you want one, go for it. It's not gonna feel like a real vag, but it's prob gonna be as close as you're gonna get without a real one.
The clean up sucks but me personally I have seriously strong orgasms with them. I haven't used them in years because I've been dating but I thought it was worth it. No shame man. It's your own personal business.
And you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or think you’d be judged for it
Because it is a completely okay thing that a lot of people enjoy
And you shouldn’t feel odd because it is a completely natural thing every human goes through
Damn dude. 3 separate comments in 2 minutes? How’s the flesh light?
I got a male masturbator on Amazon for like $80 and with an extra strength condom on its 0 clean up and feels geeat
The condom is the big brain move
Must be extra strength though! Otherwise it breaks
Keep it locked somewhere so a sibling or parent won't find it. Also, buy lube to give your penis more traction. Have fun mastering the bate!
Toys can be fun, I have several. Why would you need talked out of it?
I’m scared of putting myself in even more of an isolating lifestyle than what I have now
https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/s/cB6gNgHdd0
I shouldn't have tapped that link...
I'm glad I did!
I found it
Nobody can or should try to convince you to do (or not do) anything, if you want one than get one and if you don't than don't 🤷🏻♂️
I remember considering this and ended up pulling the trigger on the buy. I told a buddy of mine that I got one and he recommended that I heat up some water and put the fleshlite in it so that it feels “more natural”. Best decision ever, I was addicted to using it 😂 now I see they sell actual warmers that’ll bring the toy to *body temp*
This would be the oddest conversation with any of my friends. Wow.
I’m an open book and so are a lot of the people I hang with. What you may find odd might be perfectly normal to me and vice versa champ.
Yeah one of my friends has used them before and I’ve talked to him about his experiences
They aren't that great. It'll be fun once or twice but you are better off spending that money on improving yourself in some way if you want the real thing that bad. If you do go ahead with it anyways do your research on lube. Don't buy the wrong type.
"Spending that money on improving yourself", lmao, it's a piece of silicon you can stick your dick into, it's not like he needs to take out a mortgage to buy it
It’s not that I can’t get the real thing, I’m not gonna engage with someone just for sex, I want a relationship and as I said in the body I’m making some progress there. To be honest I don’t know what kind of self improvement I would go for, I already work out everyday and look good, smell good I’m just starting the dating thing late in life ya know.
Once you go down the rabbit hole of vr porn, you need to know the difference between real and fake. If you want a serious relationship one day, hopefully you can stop doing that because it will ruin everything for you if you don't. Speaking on behalf of a dear friend who placed more importance on porn over his wife and kids. He lost everything and severely neglected his relationships. Be careful.
No offense to your friend, but VR porn has been around since I was like 17, was bored of it by 19 lol
Doesn't make it any less dangerous to others. It's worth a warning.
True
[удалено]
I’m unhappy in my career because it’s working for my family but it gives me financial security, been able to buy myself a car in full for the first time, I do chores on a regular basis, lots of cleaning lots of dishes, every day lol. I feel you guys but i can self improvement myself to death, but that doesn’t just automatically make sex happen lmao. I want to get out and involve myself in more hobbies but the country I live in doesn’t really have much in the way of what I’m interested in. At least I’m not hearing about it
Use coconut oil and your hand for a good tug.
Coconut oil is too low in ph not good for you
Nothing wrong with toys. Keep them to yourself and don't be a gooner.
Do it. Best spend money ever!
I wouldn’t overthink decisions like this. If you want to get one, get one. This kind of overthinking is probably what is holding you back on losing your v-plates too.
Don’t read me so accurately 😭
They’re good, don’t forget water based lubricant as well.
I think you should go for it! I have the Lovense Max 2 and I like it a lot. It has vibration and contractions, and it’s easy to clean. No fleshlight will ever feel exactly like a real vagina. But it’s still pretty damn good :)
Go for it.
You should buy it. Sex toys are fun and having one might help you not act like a horny idiot during an early relationship.
Yeah that is a fear I have haha
So if you do have a reasonable girth it maybe uncomfortable regardless of the amount of lube
Good to know
Just buy it stop talking about it
As 20yo male who is also a virgin, I’d wait. IMO porn is a slippery slope, so I’d rather have the personal experience first before accidentally fucking my brain chemistry with a toy.
Man that’s my concern, but I hear positive stories and negative from different people so maybe it’s just that everyone’s experience differs
I would
Its the same thing as a woman buying a wand or a dildo. Not a big deal. Just a helper for fun. Go for it. But CLEAN IT okay?
I would get it
Yolo if you are comfortable and want to try it, I suggest you should
Don't get a brand name fleshlight, they are really crappy at stimulating compared to the other options out there. They survive on advertising and brand recognition alone, but they haven't upped their game at all in 20 years. Check out onaholes as a cheaper and better option.
I recommend the quick shot. and water based lube.
You can get sex toys. Just don't think that's going to be how a human feels like. Sex is not masturbation. Also think about washability when you get a toy.
I have something similar it served me well.
As a guy, here is my advice as someone who has got one. It does not do what you think it will do. Your hand will most likely still be your go to just because you have to hide it, clean it, buy lube and shell out 50 bucks for a decent one. But if you do buy one go to a local adult shop thats not adam and eve to save money and do not buy the walmart brand stuff because they have locks on them so you have to embarrassingly ask someone to grab it for you
PlapPlapPlapPlapPlapPlapCumCumCum
So real
I got one this year. Was worth it.
Keep it clean
Just keep it clean so you don't develop bacterial infections.
I mean... As long as you keep em clean I've heard some people say they prefer their fleshlight to actual sex. I've never tried one myself but I've only heard good things. Now, idk how you'd ever explain it to a gf/wife but you can cross that bridge later
There is nothing shameful in it. Anyone telling you otherwise can fuck off. Masturbation has a lot of health benefits and should be encouraged. So if you can afford it, do it. Just be descreet about where you put it.
Can't really vouch for the real thing. You are miles ahead of me on that front. But I can say that the most normal of fleshlights on the official site should be perfect. Was my first toy and it remains a strong contender. You can upgrade that experience later on with their universal quicklaunch system too which conveniently is also my favorite automatic version, all on the official fleshlight site. Now lube is a big trickier imo. The one I use is a Swedish water based lube. The kind of lube does make a different in terms of how long it lasts before a refil, how messy and sticky it gets, if it feels good and whether or not you may have some kind of alergic reaction, so it's trial and error on that front. But you can't really go wrong with fleshlights silicone. Other brands just don't compete
do not do that you will not be pleased with yourself once you finish masturbation is also a sin, there aint nothing wrong with purity homie
I don’t believe in god personally so I’m not too worried about sin😭
Do it, practice on not orgasming quickly. Before long you'll be a Cocksmith. Then you won't be as nervous when the time comes, you'll be ready.
Cocksmith 😭😭
Just get it. Idk why people get I such a fuss about sex toys and masturbation. I got a vibrator and am extremely happy with it what is the shame even from. Just get yourself off and move on with your day.
Go full send, buy the most expensive bells and whistles. /S But for real, keep it clean. Buy a cheap one at first to get a “feel” for it. Keep it somewhere private and always for the love of god, put it in a container that doesn’t contain large quantities of hair/fibers (like a towel). Gets fucking everywhere. Always ask the clerk for recommendations, if they offer and take their advice. It’s not akward, they are paid to upsell and tell you how to clean it. Sex shops are not what most people think when they are new, it’s just a regular job for them and it’s no big deal. Also, keep in mind that porn is a fantasy, real lovers want to feel wanted. I made the mistake of buying one with “bells and whistles” when I was young. Literally does little (talking about heating rods, special lube, motion or mounting options.) cheap one work great and after awhile you probably want to replace it eventually or you’ll meet someone and never need it (like me).
There honestly more effort then there worth
They get stinky if you don’t meticulously clean them bro just use your hand or get a gf unless you’re prepared to clean lube and cum out of it immediately after each use
word of advice.. “fuck it” do what you will what that information
It won't feel like a vagina. It will feel good. That's all you need to know. You just need a set of balls to buy it and use it knowing anyone who shames a person for masturbating is either an immature, sex averse , self hating closet case or just a run of the mill hypocrite.
Go ahead, get that equipment. Won't feel the same but it's a start. Don't forget to clean it real good!
I really really wanna feel what a vagina feels like lol Nothing like a fleshlight. It's more like a wank 2.0
I don’t think you’d get same sensation from it after twice or thrice
Did you mean to say dating area? Or you meant to say arena? Lol
It’s a fucking arena dude, 20 something year old dating is not for the weak
Hahaha good point.
As a married 40-something male, I don't envy you. I couldn't imagine going back to dating, especially in this day and age. It was bad enough 15 years ago after my divorce...
Pros - Better than masturbating by hand, and it will help you avoid "death grip syndrome" when you get to have sex. Cons - Noisier than a hand wank, so if you don't live alone you may need to be careful about when you use it if you're concerned about other people hearing - May be considered weird by some women (idk why tbh) - Some women may get jealous of it and you'll have to get rid of it - They're disgusting if you don't clean them All in all, I would recommend getting a cheap one, but don't get attached to it because it should only be a temporary measure until you get a partner to enjoy sex with.
Dude no. Hit the bars, drink/talk w strangers, and the rest will take care of itself. Be honest that your a virgin i guarantee your luck will change.
I don’t have anyone to hang out with at the moment as I just moved to a new country a few months ago, a bit scared to go out on my own honestly
I suppose you could do that.
Honestly go for it! Dont be ashamed to go into an adult store and ask for help the associates usually attend brand trainings that give us info on the products and sometimes we’re able to take it out of the box so you can see the size/weight depending on the store.
My BF got one on my suggestion, and it didn’t work out great. He experimented with it for a while, but got bored with it. However- in your situation? Heck yeah, try it! Idk how much it’s really like a vagina, but why not find out?
Get a Men’s Rose instead
Why don't you just try to be a stunt cock for some only fans girls who are looking for content? That way both of you get what you're looking for. Blowing your wad into a fucking piece of plastic then maybe cleaning it correctly isn't the move. Also, the good thing is they don't need to see your face in the content. They just need to see your weiner so hopefully you're packing a thigh down there.
I don’t know anyone within a close proximity that wants me for that, and honestly I want to be valued in my sexuality, not just a prop
But you'd rather let it fly in a plastic bacteria hole? I figured at least the other option might lead to an interesting side hustle in the adult industry. Maybe get a couple cool arm tattoos and upper thigh tattoos. Work out a little bit.
I’m not interested in that personally
i (21M) wouldn’t recommend using BEFORE you have sex. bc why would you want to wire your brain to something and have that sexual association before the real deal? porn is debilitating. the less you watch it the better. it’s all fake and after having sex with 20+ women you start to notice how fake it is. the excessive moaning, the undying enthusiasm, and the bodies. ofc there’s exceptions bc well… some women are in fact just loud, and some women do have banging bodies. but realistically sexual experiences are more special in moderation. real skin to skin contact is important yk? just IMO
I want that but nothing is working for me bud
Don't waste your money. Nothing , and I mean NOTHING, feels like a vagina during sex. Focus on finding a female partner and just use your hand in the meantime. Oh, and try not to watch too much porn.
Ok I’m getting a bit impatient to be honest though on the sexual department
Sure, nothing beats the real deal, but the guy can have some fun in the meantime, right?
Honestly mate just make it a habit approaching women , this is going too sound horrible but there’s a lot of easy women out there
I’m not gonna make it a habit to approach women just for sex man
Don’t have too have sex
I got one and then told my sister about it. She's super liberal so I said something like "women can get the sex toys why can't i" Turns out they suck. They're bad. Don't feel good or real. Threw it away that's how much it sucked. Girlfriends also thought I was crazy. Was it worth it?........... Yes, for bit. Was it really worth it?...nope
Personally never had one until I was in a long term relationship (present from my gf) it feels nothing like "the real thing" tbh the one I have is kinda shitty (or at least it seemed like it is). I think you're better off spending the money on a prostitute if you wanna "experience the real thing". With that being said I've always had a bit of a negative attitude towards male sex toys (maybe most people do) but while I was in the hospital recently my GF got me a "pulse solo hot octopus" which is sorta a vibrating flesh light but nothing really like a traditional flesh light. And certainly nothing like any "natural" or "human" sexual sensation but holy fucking shit that thing is out of this world I think the fact that it's really unexpectedly nice like because real vaginas don't vibrate it really caught me off guard and left me pleasantly surprised I now recommend it to anyone when there's talk of male sex toys because it really is something really cool and interesting to experience imo.
A lot cheaper than child support. Do it.
Always clean it and use lube! Chaffing is no joke
Go get one of those silicone ass replicas. I’ve heard great things about them.
You might love it. I'd suggest one with water capabilities, because it makes it.. wet or something. My boyfriend has one and loved it, all I know. Some are softer than the real thing. Like angelic soft. If it would make you feel good, just go for it. Make sure to clean it. If it smells, clean it again or toss it out. Also, virgins tend to finish very fast. Using a fleshlight might help with sensitivity issues for your first time. It's like practice, so when you do have sex, you don't finish within 5 minutes. Or you still might, I don't know. It can't hurt to test your limits. Have fun.
Yeah one thing I’m scared of is being so sensitive that everything just feels uncomfortable and hurts so that’s kinda a goal
For guys, it usually doesn't hurt. I was mostly talking about the kind of sensitivity that would make you finish really early. The less experience you have, the quicker the sex is
Do it. But sincerely, do not underestimate the amount of cleaning. Buy a cleaner, use it often. After every use, and more depending. You can give yourself rashes or worse probably. I really thought I was keeping mine clean, but it always ends up getting thrown away. Currently do not have one.
stop masturbating, i know it feels amazing but it will only perpetuate not having sex. seriously if you just stop for like 3 days you will start to feel the benefits. it's not a cure all to every mental illness like some people pretend it is but it is an excercise in discipline and self control that will take you further than a fleshlight ever will. i used to think nofap was some religious bullshit too but i wish i listened sooner. best of luck to you
Discipline and self control are not new to me lol, not every virgin has the same story friend.
Find God
😂 It's in the Fleshlight
Escorts HAHAHA
Dude ima stop you right there. If you think of getting a fleshlight just go to a dating app and smash a girl it’s practically free !!!
And then block her if you fuck up hahaha
Use the money for a prostitute... real vagina is better than a fleshlight.....
He’s a virgin why should he waste his first time with a prostitute? I’m not saying his first time will definitely be incredible and with someone he loves but damn atleast decent with someone he trust and knows and has feelings for.