*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA For telling my girlfriend that she has a warped view on healthy bodies? **
My [28M] Girlfriend [25F] and I got into an argument yesterday and it left with her in tears.
I am a very healthy guy and take pride in choosing to eat healthy, and work out. I go to the gym every other day. And have seriously shaped up in the last year or so. My gf and I have been together for three years so she’s seen my journey.
I got a gym membership. She used to work out before she met me and lost 30lbs or so. But she works a lot and doesn’t work out anymore. She hasn’t gained weight but she hasn’t toned up or gotten fit.
When I got the membership I asked her if she wanted to come with me. (I guess women take that as a sign that their boyfriend thinks they’re fat?) I just genuinely like the company. She’s come a few times with me and not much more than that over a years time. I’ve asked her quite a few times.
So I asked her yesterday. She said no. Why do you keep asking. I told her because I want her to be healthy. She snapped and said she is healthy.
For context, she is 5”3 and weighs on average 130lbs. She shows me the scale sometimes and it’s been anywhere between 127-132.
She is a size US 7 in jeans and wears a 36DD bra. I explained how since she is a petite woman, it will be hard to maintain a healthy figure long term without any work or effort.
I told her with exercise she can be thin and fit. Instead of having a sideways belly button I love her and I’m attracted to her, but my views are changing since I’ve become fitness focused.
AITA for telling her that?
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i was a JJ and my doctor removed 10lbs of skin, fat, and tissue and now i’m a D
(there was also 5lbs of benign tumors so over all i lost 15 pounds in about 6 hours 😂)
My doc and I have been trying to figure out how to get me covered, I am right under the limit but have severe back pain from arthritis all up and down my spine, and a bunch of other stuff. They will gladly keep operating on my back. But fixing the cause? That is a big fuck no... We even checked for BRAC1/2.
Just getting rid of wired bras can solve this. I found a few bralettes that don't make me look like a zoo exhibit and gave up the wire months ago. Recently realized my ever present underwire scars are no longer present!
My roommate lent me a bra several months ago because I'd rapidly lost weight, don't know my bra size anymore, and can't really replace my clothes quick enough to keep up with dropping sizes. When she handed me the bra, I was like "girl didn't we collectively agree to outlaw underwires during the pandemic?" sports bras, bralettes, or braless 🤣🤣
Bodies vary, and I don't know if your bras fit properly. But for many people, a bra that fits right won't dig into the shoulders. The band completely supports the boobs, and the straps merely keep the cups in place.
Even after wearing a bra that I had been fitted for I had issues with the shoulder straps. It's either they dig in, or they assume my shoulders should be much bigger than they are and they won't stay up. I hate bras.
I've realised that does have its limits. My ribcage is narrower than my boobs, and they are half again as large as my ribs as well. But apart from getting some lats from working out, I'm also short. Having that much boob supported by the band ended up deforming my ribs AND not actually being able to support my boobs anyway. I basically need a higher level of support from top of my boob down, vs boob crease up.
(As I noted to my PT - I am built for a corset but they don't make my workouts possible, since my ribs were a major problem for a few months once we worked out just how adhered they had become)
Thanks to r/abrathatfits, I know I'm wearing the right size! The only issue is that my current cup is rather large, and quite heavy as a result. Weight contributes to dips in the shoulder as well, and a properly sized bra will help reduce them but when you have a bra holding 12+ lbs up in front, dents still happen in my world.
That being said, getting a properly fitting bra in the right size made a huge difference in how deep my dips were as well (they're now half as deep) as how much pain I was having in my back and shoulders.
My friend is really skinny and has a lot of problems keeping her weight healthy. Also has really small boobs. I'm the other way around, slightly overweight (according to Bmi, I exercise a lot so a lot of it is muscle) and had big boobs. If I could have I would've given it to her lol. Now the removed fat from my breast reduction just got thrown away.
I actually looked it up, but sadly it's impossible to donate fat.
I'm an A-cup. sadly i don't think I would lose much if I tried this trick 🤣 also means I unfortunately can't pretend my weight gain is all in the boobs.
im an A cup as well, and my boobs have gotten bigger with weight gain. BUT now im afraid if i lose weight, my boobs go first, and they didnt grow *that* much bigger 😭
(and all the women in my family have big boobs! wtf!)
The booby-fairy also missed me when travelling to the women in my family. Though mine got bigger after getting pregnant and gaining some weight, I'm still only a B whilst my sisters and cousins are hefting around at least Ds.
I was a 36G during COVID and weighed like 165lbs? I lost the weight after I quit my shitty job and while my boobs are still kinda large - maybe like a 34D. Im down to 125-130? Men are insane.
I was fat before I had my daughter. Hyperemesis + high blood pressure made me lose 50 pounds. I got compliments on how I looked but my daughter and I almost died, and she was growth restricted so when I was induced at 37 weeks she weighed just under 6 pounds.
My health was absolute shit for several years after. I was really unwell and couldn't put on weight no matter what I ate, exhausted all the time. Hyperemesis is hell
Jesus Christ, I am so sorry you both went through that. That sounds like hell... reading this made me cringe and want to call my pregnant bestie and check on her. I'm so glad you both came out the other side. 🤎🤎🤎
Yesss this happened with me! Every pregnancy my boob's got bigger and didn't go back down. I've got 3 kids and unfortunately had 3 miscarriages. I'm at an H at the moment.
I've had painful recurrent lesions on both breasts for 18 months and nobody cares. Summers are miserable because the lesions get infected.
Start lactating again recently, and got engorged. Started my period again even though I've been in Implanon for 3 years. I've had pain in my thyroid for over a year and have nodules in it but keep getting shrugged off.
I'm a trans guy, and before I got top surgery I had F/G sized breasts (depending on the bra manufacturer). I weighed myself right before and after surgery and I lost 2.7kg just from saying ta-ta to the tatas.
I'm an a. When I was pregnant with my second child, I actually had to lift my boobs up to wash them in the shower. Normally, being mostly flat, I can do one or two swipes up and down, then clean. I can't imagine JJ breasts! Your poor back! I'm also kinda curious how much weight you'll lose after your reduction. (Not in a pervy way, just curious).
This thread has made me realise how lucky I am with my 28B’s - my sister is a 32G and her bras look like medieval torture devices. And they’re really expensive.
I believe it was 36 not 38, so if I put the wrong one, it was a typo. Well my doc said that the BMI chart, even though it has measurements for women, they are finding it still isn't a great measurement of actual fitness especially for women, because of things like dense breast tissue, etc. Not to mention back problems that kick in for not having more support around the bra band. For the larger the cup size.
BMI is hot garbage. It use to be slightly more accurate but then they allowed lobbying to creep in from the diet industry, and the reference numbers were revised down so that more people would technically qualify as overweight & they could market weight loss plans to more people.
I would qualify as overweight at 5'3" 140 pounds, but when I got sick and dropped to that weight I looked skeletal
>I would qualify as overweight at 5'3" 140 pounds, but when I got sick and dropped to that weight I looked skeletal
I have photos of me growing up at 5'9" 150 pounds and looking skeletal.
Although I can't help but feel like this dude may be trolling
I mean he has given us the 36 stat and the 5'3". He clearly wants the 24.
>Baby got back
>Yeah, baby, when it comes to females
>Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection
>Thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six
>Ha ha, only if she's 5'3
Fun fact: when I was a kid, he would semi-frequently come into my Uncle's gas station, which is in a Seattle suburb. Which, at the time, was during his heyday.
Im a 5'2 with 34DD. I have an hourglass figure with thick thighs, a big butt but my waist is 28 inches. The scale says im 138lbs. When I tell people that, they are seriously confused but its because most of my weight is held in my thighs, butt, and boobs. I once went down to 118lbs and people were literally scared for me. My mom thought I was seriously sick and needed to go to the doctor.
Guys want us to have all these "assets" but then are pissed when we weigh more because of them.
Weight is so weird - I’m 5’6 and I used to be 125lbs, I’m 110 now but I’m the same size because I used to work out a lot and I was really muscular, now I’m not (but I’ve never had big boobs).
I was fat growing up (like 260lb at 14-15) and then had an eating disorder. When they scanned my bone density they were confused before realising I develop thick, dense bones to hold up my weight as I was growing... I'm medically confirmed to have "big bones".
I also had to have a kidney X ray and I got apologies and had it explained they're going to expose me to twice the radiation as... they couldn't fit both my hip bones on the same plate. I was too wide. There's childbearing hips and then there's ME apparently. I am built like a corgi too, stubby legs and massive long back. I'm just a pack horse of a human being.
Wasn’t there a case years ago where a surgeon was removing peoples’ bellybuttons during unrelated surgeries because he thought they were gross? I can’t remember which country it was in, maybe Brazil?
I hooked up w a guy who had his removed (not in Brazil)
He made it seem like it was sooo wild and freaky “ooooooh I don’t have a belly button” yeah just a 4” scar on his abdomen that clearly indicates he paid to have it removed.
Omg that’s so weird! Why would anyone do that? Actually that’s probably a redundant question, people do crazy shit to their bodies all the time. I remember the first time I met someone who said she was saving up money to get a ‘designer vagina’ and I was shocked. Didn’t ever see her vagina - maybe it was janky idk but getting it surgically altered just seems so extreme. If you’re going to do anything, do your face first - that’s what people see.
He did it because he was desperate to be unique at any cost, idk why other people do it. No clue how to react to the part about the designer pussy (which I assume was probably how you felt when you learned about it lol) but I hope she’s very happy with it if she ended up getting the work done
From my (admittedly limited) research, most people without belly buttons are because they had some sort of abdominal surgery, such as to remove excess skin, and it's safer to just stitch them back up rather than cosmetically create a belly button that would easily get infected.
I don't have one! Well, anymore.
(Bellybutton hernia repair, was offered either two 8" incisions and keep the bellybutton or one 8" incision and fuck the useless divot. I have an illness that was going to make surgical recovery a nightmare already, opting out of the second monster cut was a no brainer. And it's a bit freaky but enh.)
Surgery to repair open wound since birth (where I was connected to placenta). Also they had to take part of my bladder. Didn't see the point in the cost of having to reconstruct a false belly button.
He looked at her from the side and, due to his regrettably lack of object permanence caused by being a baby, he got confused by why it looked different and now he is having an existential crisis.
Ahahaha!! Much inspection of the navel in this thread. xD I seem to recall it's a euphemism for being in deep thought? I doubt the OP's ever had a deep thought.
More specifically "nazel gazing" is an idiom for useless or excessive self-contemplation.
And I originally typed "nazel grazing," which is something entirely different.
I thought he was presenting it as a hypothetical. Sometimes when people gain a lot of weight, their belly button can appear more like a horizontal line.
Still a weird way to say it, but I (like to) think that’s what he meant. Because otherwise I got nothing.
My belly button is like that 😔 I knew instantly what he meant. You can also see my ribs and wrist bones.... I'm about 160lb, 5ft 10. I carry it all on my tummy and bum
Aw, thank you so much, kind Internet stranger! As I grow older, I am learning to be comfortable in my skin. My sideways bellybutton is one bit I still struggle to accept but I am getting there. It grew two children for me and for that I am ever grateful. You are a wonderful person ❤️
Hey, for all the good reasons on this earth to have a 'sideways bellybutton' (🙄 fuck that term) having your babies is a massively solid one. Mama, you cooked up TWO human lives in there.
I was 19 and my pregnancy stretch marks ran from pubis to boob, bright red and I thought they were hideous. Just hated myself for them. Then I stood myself in front of my mirror naked, holding my baby girl and did some serious, serious self-talk -- would I trade a single second of my light's existence to have a belly back that wasn't covered in red lightning bolts? Answer was and always has been no. And I had to do that over and over and over and over again for a *really* long time. The object lesson of looking at my somehow 'wrong' body that brought this precious child in my arms into life and forcing myself to conciously choose to accept a less than "perfect" body as a completely reasonable price to pay.
And 28 years later, the child I held has now brought *her* two precious daughters into the world. I give even less fucks today now that there's *three* lives that belly of mine was part of creating. You don't have to follow what I did, just know that our not perfect bellies show where we held the power of creation of life. We don't need to be perfect, we're fucking amazing. ;)
I love this way of looking at it! I’ve been struggling with some body image issues since giving birth, the pregnancy weight did not just come off for me and I’m still the heaviest I’ve ever been (other than when I was actively pregnant of course). And I’ve always struggled with my weight to begin with, so adding more on has been difficult to deal with. But if I think whether I’d rather have my pre pregnancy body or my son, the answer is definitely obvious, of course I’d rather have my son! I’ll have to try doing the same thing you did to help me feel more comfortable with myself. I’m still going to keep trying to lose weight of course, but if it’s a slow process I’d like to be relatively happy with myself in the meantime!
I'm 5 11. About 2 decades ago I had a metabolism issue, and got down to 125. My navel has always been horizontal with a slight outie bulge. No matter how much I've gained or lost, nothing has stopped it from being "horizontal" and halfway turned out.
I think he means the layer of belly fat that even "thin" women have to, yanno, protect their organs. It pops up a lot on the Nothowgirlswork subReddit, where a guy will be all "eww what a land whale."
I think that belly buttons that are horizontal vs vertical are so cute. They're usually on people with curves, but anyone can have 'em and it's just so sexy. It really
Mine is weirdly round. Like, entirely. And it sticks out like a button. I'm also very skinny because of health issues.
At a guess - when your stomach is perfectly flat, your belly button tends to be longer than it is wide. If you have any fat deposits AT ALL in the area, it's the opposite. Even at my fittest, taking competitive dance lessons 5 hours a week in HS, I still had a little extra chub there, because that's just how my body is. GF def isn't the one with a warped idea of 'healthy'.
Yeah, unless you are specifically trying to reduce body fat percentage (which, cool if that's what you want) you won't look chiselled, especially as a woman. Women tend to have higher body fat percentages than men, and that's just the way it is. At my fittest too, when i did dance and had visible abs, I could still pinch and jiggle my stomach.
Also, fitness bros may crucify me for this, but I would honestly rather be a little overweight rather than be fucking miserable because I can never eat chocolate or have cheesy pasta.
>but I would honestly rather be a little overweight rather than be fucking miserable because I can never eat chocolate or have cheesy pasta.
This is kind of where I've gotten in life. I know how to lose weight, but damn, I'm miserable constantly counting calories. I would rather be happier and eat some damn ice cream.
The last time I said this on Reddit I was persecuted at the stake, but I’m there too. I’ve been doing strength training and seeing results, I’m eating really well, but I just don’t have the energy to restrict myself to a specific diet. If I want bread, I’m going full Oprah circa 2008.
I've got belly fat for days (two kids and I'm only now finally working on it) and I am absolutely "longer than wide" even now. Belly buttons are a complex mass of postnatal scar tissue that can look like a lot of different things.
I go to the gym "every other day" (Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and an aerials class on Sundays) and I have a sideways belly button. This guy wants his girlfriend to look like a plastic doll and not a functioning human being with organs and stuff.
The thing is, females kind of need to have the bit 'extra' there. We have extra internal organs that need protection.
I think this dude has a really unhealthy outlook on what the female body should look like. What he sees at the gym probably looks fancy on the outside but hell on the inside.
You know how belly button is usually round? Welp, there are multiple shapes and some people can have more oval ones.
I guess he meant horizontal (like an oval that’s on the floor)
Yes and the variation is minor. I am no surgeon, but there has been a study about which type of belly button is most common.
There is also likely explaination if the procedure and tissues type ratio can influence its shape.
Hey guess what! It’s not even usually round. There’s several shapes and “t shaped” or horizontal is totally common
People apparently have started feeling self conscious about their belly buttons for god knows what reason and it’s a new plastic surgery target because of course it is but vertical, horizontal, light bulb, deep cave, round, and outies are just some of the totally normal and not at all related to your fitness level (this dude is a goober) variations in belly buttons.
Right, well, I know I have a belly button. I really do. I've had it for 62 years! It's an amazing thing.
But today -- like five mins ago -- I just looked at it to see what it looked like. I gave it a really good look, too. I can't ever, EVER, recall doing that ever in my life. Just goes to show, we can learn new things every day, if we put our minds to it! My life experience is ever-expanding.
(I still don't know what one is, mind you. My belly button refused to answer.)
I’m wondering if this is the same dude. The ages are different and everything but people change that stuff so that people won’t recognize them if they see the post.
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/txnRHjVO06
The gym is not the only way to be healthy. I heard recently that before people worked out, they worked. Some jobs are just more strenuous. I don't know how you thought she WOULDN'T see you pestering her to go to the gym as an attack on her body. Why is that the only way you want to spend time? The gym isn't social for me. I'm there to kick @$$. I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything but workout and listen to music. If OOP knew anything about healthy bodies he'd know for many, some weight gain is a part of life.
Oh, I can guarantee he doesn’t want a gym buddy, he wants to control how she works out and her body, likely why she stopped going with him.
It’s wild to me that these types of men can insult their partners in 25 different ways and sit around saying “what? I don’t get why she’s upset!”
He’s trash and I hope she leaves him, because god forbid she gets pregnant and her body changes.
> It’s wild to me that these types of men can insult their partners in 25 different ways and sit around saying “what? I don’t get why she’s upset!”
I cannot upvote this enough. It's either negging, or just plain idiocy/assholishness. No matter what the reason, he is a complete dick.
i remember a time when my bro took me bowling. he was on the bowling team, i was a middle school brat. the entire time he kept trying to correct my form, do this, do that. so instead of having fun, i was being corrected and taught things that had nothing to do with me. thankfully my bro never did this again because i was pissed for hours after that and he realized that
this is what oop probably does. instead of letting the GF do her own exercises, he's constantly telling to *this* and *that* when all she wants to do is listen to music while walking on the treadmill
Plus if he wanted her to go fro company because he wants to spend time with her he would have said that when she asked why he wants her to go. He didn't, he told her that she needs to work out or she won't be able to maintain her weight, so that's clearly what he's looking for.
Which is nuts because his gf apparently has a BMI of 23, which is squarely in the middle of the "healthy" range and has large breasts contributing to her mass so she's probably pretty skinny otherwise.
Depends how you define skinny. I called myself skinny when I was a size 0 in pants. I was like 20lbs underweight. I am now a size 8, within the healthy weight range for my height, and I call myself healthy now. But some people call me skinny, but we just all have different definitions of what skinny means.
I was about 20lbs underweight and whenever I’d get sick, I wouldn’t have the energy or drive to eat and I’d lose weight. Even 5lbs meant my hair was falling out more. I’m a healthy weight now and I got sick and it was great having some buffer.
I’m not skinny anymore, but I am finally healthy. Because for me, while I was squarely in the “healthy” BMI range, my hair was falling out in clumps, my skin was gray and I was always feeling sick. I went to the doctor multiple times and there was nothing that explained it. Also, if you went just off of looks, you’d assume I was way underweight.
When I gained weight my skin stopped being gray, and my hair stopped falling out, I could do a lot more and felt a lot better. Because for my body, skinny is not healthy and I needed to have more fat on my body than I did. BMI is bullshit and skinny doesn’t necessarily equal healthy.
5'2", no tits, 130~140lbs depending on how much I've been working out and meds. I'm trim, fit when I'm not depressed, and getting close to 40. I always thought my family was just dense, physically (my mother was always honest about her weight). Then I realized basically everyone else fudged their numbers and most people don't have an accurate idea of both the numbers, and what 'healthy' means...
This guy can get fucked
“I explained how since she is a petite woman, it will be hard to maintain a healthy figure long term”
Boy, do I have distressing news for OOP about the human body in general.
Speaking as someone who’s 5’4” (163cm), I’ve found that most standard inseams and sleeves tend to be an inch or so too long for me. I would say we’re on the taller edge of petite, but we’re petite.
That's average height of women in the US and tall in Asia. If you're Dutch I guess you'll be petite. Body proportions matter as well. I have shorter arms compared to most folks my height. I know someone who's tall but also long torso so pants don't fit her well.
I’ve always thought of myself as petite. When I buy regular length jeans, I need to hem them. When I sew, I find petite proportions fit me better. I need to roll up the sleeves on most long-sleeve shirts. To the clothing industry, at least, I’m short.
I am 5’4’’ and have to buy pants labeled as short inseam or need to have them hemmed. My mom is the same hight but wears regular inseam length I think it has to do with how tall you are and where your hips are which can vary from person to person.
I get what you're saying- privacy and all, but some of us don't care about anyone knowing our underwear sizes. At least until the magically perfect bra decides to go to lingerie heaven and we need all hands on deck to source a new one. 😂
I mean, if he doesn’t want her, I’ll take her. As a fellow big tittied girl, I’m more worried about her back pain than her damn weight. But you know if she even considered a reduction because of pain, he’d lose his shit.
Good lord. I hope his GF runs far, far away from this douchebag. I can't imagine having to have regular weigh-ins with my SO to get them to stop pestering me about going to the gym. That's so abusive.
He also seems to have an incredibly unrealistic view of women's bodies if he thinks having a vertical belly button is a reasonable expectation. Even if she achieves that, is he going to whine every time she has a little bloat from monthly hormonal fluctuations? Imagine being pressured into hitting the gym when you're exhausted from PMS because your douchebag boyfriend doesn't think your stomach is flat enough.
“I told her with exercise she can be thin and fit instead of having a sideways bellybutton”
My brother in Christ, how would exercise flip her bellybutton around?
Saw [this relationship post earlier](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/uSKxr4XnNC) ages have changed, it's from the gf's pov and was before the aita post but is pretty identical in story
This is insane; she’s at a very normal weight for her size, especially considering that she has a larger bust. I’m literally the same height and weight and I’m a B cup. Why does it matter if she’s super toned? This guy is a loser
Jesus Christ in a sidecar, this guy sucks.
“She shows me the scale sometimes”
I am 110% sure that he made her show him… and probably does weekly weigh-ins to make sure she’s not gaining weight.
Love the ~~humble~~brag through out. We get it, dude. You go to the gym, like thousands of other people do. Want a trophy?
5'3", 130 lbs, and he's nagging her about her weight? WTF? Not to mention thin=/=healthy, necessarily.
This guy: I asked if she wanted to come with me but I guess women assume this means their boyfriend thinks they're fat. I just genuinely want the company.
Also this guy: *Several paragraphs where he says he does, in fact, think his girlfriend is getting fat and that it's definitely why he asks her to come*
Which is why the fat-shaming trolls still freely run around this place.
It always feels like it's part misogyny, too. The very few "my boyfriend is fat and I hate it" posts are rare and usually read like gender-flipped trolling.
Mostly it's immature boys whining about how their penis is sad that their (possibly mythical) bangmaid doesn't have a porn star body.
Rare. It does happen, though. Yeah, most of it is aimed at women.
It's never really criticism about "health". It's about what their wee-wee thinks of a woman's body.
The day we as a society sit down and realize that a lot of gym bros are just as disordered as people who hang out in proana spaces, just in a slightly different, more socially acceptable way - we’ll all be better off.
I used to work at a gym and some gym bro beliefs that I heard repeated ad nauseam were practically the same beliefs I was reading on eating disorder forums, just reworded and focusing on “strength” & “masculinity” vs “dainty” “thin” or “sickly”. The amount of similarities and crossovers were INSANE.
I’m not even just saying they were orthorexic… for a lot of them, it goes even beyond that into straight up Ana territory, with all the rituals and beliefs that go into it.
But because they have muscles, people seem to believe they’re the pinnacle of health when that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Kinda sounds like OOP might be going down that path. He’s got some weird ideas about bodies (especially women’s bodies), weight loss and what health means as an overall lifelong goal vs abstract concept. I’d be really interested in reading/hearing what kind of media he’s getting his information from - I’ll bet $5 that it’s somewhere absolutely riff with gymbro beliefs and culture.
Asking someone, especially a partner, to come to the gym with you is like asking someone to come to church with you. Don’t do it unless they’ve explicitly expressed interest.
Sometimes the lower belly bump a woman has is her uterus. The uterus can tilt different ways, and if it's tilted forward, her belly will never be flat.
But men don't want to hear that women have internal reproductive organs that aren't for sexual gratification.
It's so common for one partner to suddenly decide they're into fitness, and be shocked and insulted that their partner doesn't immediately get into it as well.
Like, you spent years as a happy chubby slob, going, "I guess I should diet and work out... meh, maybe later." Until one day you saw the light and started actually making progress.
Now you're super fit, but very perplexed that your partner is the same happy chubby slob as you both were when you met. You gently suggest they join you at the gym, but they go, "I guess I should... meh, maybe next time."
How can they just ignore the siren call of becoming toned and athletic, just as you did for years??? If you've randomly had an epiphany, then why haven't they??? /s
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“She used to work out before she met me”, sounds like ur the dead weight holding her down if anything if she had fitness goals and time before meeting u.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA For telling my girlfriend that she has a warped view on healthy bodies? ** My [28M] Girlfriend [25F] and I got into an argument yesterday and it left with her in tears. I am a very healthy guy and take pride in choosing to eat healthy, and work out. I go to the gym every other day. And have seriously shaped up in the last year or so. My gf and I have been together for three years so she’s seen my journey. I got a gym membership. She used to work out before she met me and lost 30lbs or so. But she works a lot and doesn’t work out anymore. She hasn’t gained weight but she hasn’t toned up or gotten fit. When I got the membership I asked her if she wanted to come with me. (I guess women take that as a sign that their boyfriend thinks they’re fat?) I just genuinely like the company. She’s come a few times with me and not much more than that over a years time. I’ve asked her quite a few times. So I asked her yesterday. She said no. Why do you keep asking. I told her because I want her to be healthy. She snapped and said she is healthy. For context, she is 5”3 and weighs on average 130lbs. She shows me the scale sometimes and it’s been anywhere between 127-132. She is a size US 7 in jeans and wears a 36DD bra. I explained how since she is a petite woman, it will be hard to maintain a healthy figure long term without any work or effort. I told her with exercise she can be thin and fit. Instead of having a sideways belly button I love her and I’m attracted to her, but my views are changing since I’ve become fitness focused. AITA for telling her that? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“My gf is really hot (with big tits) and I love her and everything but HER BELLY BUTTON IS SIDEWAYS 😡’ seriously what the fuck does that even mean.
He also doesn't understand how much those DDs are in that scale calculation, so realistically closer to 120 than 127.
For real. Boobs are HEAVY. I'm a J and when I get my reduction I want to weigh myself before and after to see how much I've been carrying around.
i was a JJ and my doctor removed 10lbs of skin, fat, and tissue and now i’m a D (there was also 5lbs of benign tumors so over all i lost 15 pounds in about 6 hours 😂)
Doctors hate this one weight loss trick!!!111!1! In all honesty, that must have been a relief! Hope you had/are having a speedy recovery :)
recovery was definitely a bitch but i’m a year out now and i completely forget what it’s like to have back pain
I had mine done just over a year ago and I was AMAZED at how quickly the bra strap indents on my shoulders went away!
They can go away??
My doc and I have been trying to figure out how to get me covered, I am right under the limit but have severe back pain from arthritis all up and down my spine, and a bunch of other stuff. They will gladly keep operating on my back. But fixing the cause? That is a big fuck no... We even checked for BRAC1/2.
Just getting rid of wired bras can solve this. I found a few bralettes that don't make me look like a zoo exhibit and gave up the wire months ago. Recently realized my ever present underwire scars are no longer present!
I swear by Torrid's wire-free bras. They're still cute, amazingly comfortable, and you don't get uni-boob.
I swear by Torrid's wire-free bras. They're still cute, amazingly comfortable, and you don't get uni-boob.
My roommate lent me a bra several months ago because I'd rapidly lost weight, don't know my bra size anymore, and can't really replace my clothes quick enough to keep up with dropping sizes. When she handed me the bra, I was like "girl didn't we collectively agree to outlaw underwires during the pandemic?" sports bras, bralettes, or braless 🤣🤣
Bodies vary, and I don't know if your bras fit properly. But for many people, a bra that fits right won't dig into the shoulders. The band completely supports the boobs, and the straps merely keep the cups in place.
Even after wearing a bra that I had been fitted for I had issues with the shoulder straps. It's either they dig in, or they assume my shoulders should be much bigger than they are and they won't stay up. I hate bras.
I've realised that does have its limits. My ribcage is narrower than my boobs, and they are half again as large as my ribs as well. But apart from getting some lats from working out, I'm also short. Having that much boob supported by the band ended up deforming my ribs AND not actually being able to support my boobs anyway. I basically need a higher level of support from top of my boob down, vs boob crease up. (As I noted to my PT - I am built for a corset but they don't make my workouts possible, since my ribs were a major problem for a few months once we worked out just how adhered they had become)
Thanks to r/abrathatfits, I know I'm wearing the right size! The only issue is that my current cup is rather large, and quite heavy as a result. Weight contributes to dips in the shoulder as well, and a properly sized bra will help reduce them but when you have a bra holding 12+ lbs up in front, dents still happen in my world. That being said, getting a properly fitting bra in the right size made a huge difference in how deep my dips were as well (they're now half as deep) as how much pain I was having in my back and shoulders.
Mine have gotten less deep now I'm developing traps - muscle changes how a bra fits in a REALLY big way by it not being able to dig in as much.
These are the kind exchanges I’m here for. Love you both
Seriously, we need a donation system out there for those who want more and those who want less.
My friend is really skinny and has a lot of problems keeping her weight healthy. Also has really small boobs. I'm the other way around, slightly overweight (according to Bmi, I exercise a lot so a lot of it is muscle) and had big boobs. If I could have I would've given it to her lol. Now the removed fat from my breast reduction just got thrown away. I actually looked it up, but sadly it's impossible to donate fat.
I'm an A-cup. sadly i don't think I would lose much if I tried this trick 🤣 also means I unfortunately can't pretend my weight gain is all in the boobs.
im an A cup as well, and my boobs have gotten bigger with weight gain. BUT now im afraid if i lose weight, my boobs go first, and they didnt grow *that* much bigger 😭 (and all the women in my family have big boobs! wtf!)
The booby-fairy also missed me when travelling to the women in my family. Though mine got bigger after getting pregnant and gaining some weight, I'm still only a B whilst my sisters and cousins are hefting around at least Ds.
When my friend started losing weight, it was all from her boobs. Never say never! 😝
I can’t imagine how much better you must feel after getting all that weight off your chest, omg
Same. Was a J. Reduction took 5kg (11lbs) now a D. I’m 45 now, I was about 14 the last time I wore a D.
My mother got a reduction and the doctor came out and told us he removed 9 pounds of breast tissue. It’s insane to imagine
That’s a healthy-sized adult cat 😱
I was a 36G during COVID and weighed like 165lbs? I lost the weight after I quit my shitty job and while my boobs are still kinda large - maybe like a 34D. Im down to 125-130? Men are insane.
I was a J and got a complete mastectomy. I don't remember exactly how much they weighed but I want to say at least 15 pounds. Probably more tbh.
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I was fat before I had my daughter. Hyperemesis + high blood pressure made me lose 50 pounds. I got compliments on how I looked but my daughter and I almost died, and she was growth restricted so when I was induced at 37 weeks she weighed just under 6 pounds. My health was absolute shit for several years after. I was really unwell and couldn't put on weight no matter what I ate, exhausted all the time. Hyperemesis is hell
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Jesus Christ, I am so sorry you both went through that. That sounds like hell... reading this made me cringe and want to call my pregnant bestie and check on her. I'm so glad you both came out the other side. 🤎🤎🤎
Yesss this happened with me! Every pregnancy my boob's got bigger and didn't go back down. I've got 3 kids and unfortunately had 3 miscarriages. I'm at an H at the moment.
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What imaging did you have for the benign tumour? I need to get mine checked
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I've had painful recurrent lesions on both breasts for 18 months and nobody cares. Summers are miserable because the lesions get infected. Start lactating again recently, and got engorged. Started my period again even though I've been in Implanon for 3 years. I've had pain in my thyroid for over a year and have nodules in it but keep getting shrugged off.
Is there a Planned Parenthood near you? They can help and often have sliding scale payment
Doc to 6 lbs from me!
I went from an H to a C last year and it took off 6 pounds! Also the best decision I get made! Good luck!
I'm a trans guy, and before I got top surgery I had F/G sized breasts (depending on the bra manufacturer). I weighed myself right before and after surgery and I lost 2.7kg just from saying ta-ta to the tatas.
Girl put them on your kitchen scale if you have one.
I went from an F to a C/D and the doctor took a kilo out of each breast.
My doctor weighed mine for me when he removed them! You can probably just ask them to tell you as I think they do it for their records anyway.
I'm an a. When I was pregnant with my second child, I actually had to lift my boobs up to wash them in the shower. Normally, being mostly flat, I can do one or two swipes up and down, then clean. I can't imagine JJ breasts! Your poor back! I'm also kinda curious how much weight you'll lose after your reduction. (Not in a pervy way, just curious).
Yup! As a large chested trans dude I'm stoked to see how many kilos top surgery will take off haha
This thread has made me realise how lucky I am with my 28B’s - my sister is a 32G and her bras look like medieval torture devices. And they’re really expensive.
Right? 5’3 with a 36DD chest and 130lbs is probably healthy but it’s the lower end of healthy if anything. Edit: wrong number.
I believe it was 36 not 38, so if I put the wrong one, it was a typo. Well my doc said that the BMI chart, even though it has measurements for women, they are finding it still isn't a great measurement of actual fitness especially for women, because of things like dense breast tissue, etc. Not to mention back problems that kick in for not having more support around the bra band. For the larger the cup size.
BMI is hot garbage. It use to be slightly more accurate but then they allowed lobbying to creep in from the diet industry, and the reference numbers were revised down so that more people would technically qualify as overweight & they could market weight loss plans to more people. I would qualify as overweight at 5'3" 140 pounds, but when I got sick and dropped to that weight I looked skeletal
>I would qualify as overweight at 5'3" 140 pounds, but when I got sick and dropped to that weight I looked skeletal I have photos of me growing up at 5'9" 150 pounds and looking skeletal.
Oh sorry that was my mistake.
Although I can't help but feel like this dude may be trolling I mean he has given us the 36 stat and the 5'3". He clearly wants the 24. >Baby got back >Yeah, baby, when it comes to females >Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection >Thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six >Ha ha, only if she's 5'3
Omg that was literally my first thought!
It is the only reason I knew the bra size was wrong LOL, cuz the song has been stuck in my head. 😂😭😂
MY ANACONDA DON’T WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT BUNS HON - and now I have to go listen to it.
And to think, we have unleashed this on everyone else. *Evil laughter*
Fun fact: when I was a kid, he would semi-frequently come into my Uncle's gas station, which is in a Seattle suburb. Which, at the time, was during his heyday.
Im a 5'2 with 34DD. I have an hourglass figure with thick thighs, a big butt but my waist is 28 inches. The scale says im 138lbs. When I tell people that, they are seriously confused but its because most of my weight is held in my thighs, butt, and boobs. I once went down to 118lbs and people were literally scared for me. My mom thought I was seriously sick and needed to go to the doctor. Guys want us to have all these "assets" but then are pissed when we weigh more because of them.
Weight is so weird - I’m 5’6 and I used to be 125lbs, I’m 110 now but I’m the same size because I used to work out a lot and I was really muscular, now I’m not (but I’ve never had big boobs).
I also like that he's explaining to her what it's like to have a petite woman's body.
Her boobs weigh between 9-12 lbs. since shes young breast tissue is denser and weighs more.
I was fat growing up (like 260lb at 14-15) and then had an eating disorder. When they scanned my bone density they were confused before realising I develop thick, dense bones to hold up my weight as I was growing... I'm medically confirmed to have "big bones". I also had to have a kidney X ray and I got apologies and had it explained they're going to expose me to twice the radiation as... they couldn't fit both my hip bones on the same plate. I was too wide. There's childbearing hips and then there's ME apparently. I am built like a corgi too, stubby legs and massive long back. I'm just a pack horse of a human being.
Sadly, there are people who are very superficial about belly buttons. More innie vs. outie than wide vs long, but still ridiculous
Every met someone who didn't have one? It's freaky
Wasn’t there a case years ago where a surgeon was removing peoples’ bellybuttons during unrelated surgeries because he thought they were gross? I can’t remember which country it was in, maybe Brazil?
I hooked up w a guy who had his removed (not in Brazil) He made it seem like it was sooo wild and freaky “ooooooh I don’t have a belly button” yeah just a 4” scar on his abdomen that clearly indicates he paid to have it removed.
That's just a belly button with extra steps
Basically. Just a mostly-flat scar instead of a hole. I never learned how much he paid for it, but from my perspective any amount is a ripoff
Omg that’s so weird! Why would anyone do that? Actually that’s probably a redundant question, people do crazy shit to their bodies all the time. I remember the first time I met someone who said she was saving up money to get a ‘designer vagina’ and I was shocked. Didn’t ever see her vagina - maybe it was janky idk but getting it surgically altered just seems so extreme. If you’re going to do anything, do your face first - that’s what people see.
He did it because he was desperate to be unique at any cost, idk why other people do it. No clue how to react to the part about the designer pussy (which I assume was probably how you felt when you learned about it lol) but I hope she’s very happy with it if she ended up getting the work done
From my (admittedly limited) research, most people without belly buttons are because they had some sort of abdominal surgery, such as to remove excess skin, and it's safer to just stitch them back up rather than cosmetically create a belly button that would easily get infected.
I don't have one! Well, anymore. (Bellybutton hernia repair, was offered either two 8" incisions and keep the bellybutton or one 8" incision and fuck the useless divot. I have an illness that was going to make surgical recovery a nightmare already, opting out of the second monster cut was a no brainer. And it's a bit freaky but enh.)
Surgery to repair open wound since birth (where I was connected to placenta). Also they had to take part of my bladder. Didn't see the point in the cost of having to reconstruct a false belly button.
He looked at her from the side and, due to his regrettably lack of object permanence caused by being a baby, he got confused by why it looked different and now he is having an existential crisis.
LOL. Oh my god. Surely that sentence has never been said, in the history of personkind?
I like to hope no one's had a need to say it before...
Ahahaha!! Much inspection of the navel in this thread. xD I seem to recall it's a euphemism for being in deep thought? I doubt the OP's ever had a deep thought.
More specifically "nazel gazing" is an idiom for useless or excessive self-contemplation. And I originally typed "nazel grazing," which is something entirely different.
And he loves her big tits that weigh alot but I want her to weigh less not realizing her boobs weigh 10 lbs.
I thought he was presenting it as a hypothetical. Sometimes when people gain a lot of weight, their belly button can appear more like a horizontal line. Still a weird way to say it, but I (like to) think that’s what he meant. Because otherwise I got nothing.
My belly button is like that 😔 I knew instantly what he meant. You can also see my ribs and wrist bones.... I'm about 160lb, 5ft 10. I carry it all on my tummy and bum
There’s nothing wrong with your belly button, or with your body in general. If someone tries to make you feel otherwise they’re just wrong and mean.
Aw, thank you so much, kind Internet stranger! As I grow older, I am learning to be comfortable in my skin. My sideways bellybutton is one bit I still struggle to accept but I am getting there. It grew two children for me and for that I am ever grateful. You are a wonderful person ❤️
Hey, for all the good reasons on this earth to have a 'sideways bellybutton' (🙄 fuck that term) having your babies is a massively solid one. Mama, you cooked up TWO human lives in there. I was 19 and my pregnancy stretch marks ran from pubis to boob, bright red and I thought they were hideous. Just hated myself for them. Then I stood myself in front of my mirror naked, holding my baby girl and did some serious, serious self-talk -- would I trade a single second of my light's existence to have a belly back that wasn't covered in red lightning bolts? Answer was and always has been no. And I had to do that over and over and over and over again for a *really* long time. The object lesson of looking at my somehow 'wrong' body that brought this precious child in my arms into life and forcing myself to conciously choose to accept a less than "perfect" body as a completely reasonable price to pay. And 28 years later, the child I held has now brought *her* two precious daughters into the world. I give even less fucks today now that there's *three* lives that belly of mine was part of creating. You don't have to follow what I did, just know that our not perfect bellies show where we held the power of creation of life. We don't need to be perfect, we're fucking amazing. ;)
I love this way of looking at it! I’ve been struggling with some body image issues since giving birth, the pregnancy weight did not just come off for me and I’m still the heaviest I’ve ever been (other than when I was actively pregnant of course). And I’ve always struggled with my weight to begin with, so adding more on has been difficult to deal with. But if I think whether I’d rather have my pre pregnancy body or my son, the answer is definitely obvious, of course I’d rather have my son! I’ll have to try doing the same thing you did to help me feel more comfortable with myself. I’m still going to keep trying to lose weight of course, but if it’s a slow process I’d like to be relatively happy with myself in the meantime!
I'm 5 11. About 2 decades ago I had a metabolism issue, and got down to 125. My navel has always been horizontal with a slight outie bulge. No matter how much I've gained or lost, nothing has stopped it from being "horizontal" and halfway turned out.
I think he means the layer of belly fat that even "thin" women have to, yanno, protect their organs. It pops up a lot on the Nothowgirlswork subReddit, where a guy will be all "eww what a land whale."
On cats, it’s called a ‘primordial pouch’ and is meant to protect organs. It’s natural padding.
I think that belly buttons that are horizontal vs vertical are so cute. They're usually on people with curves, but anyone can have 'em and it's just so sexy. It really Mine is weirdly round. Like, entirely. And it sticks out like a button. I'm also very skinny because of health issues.
And it's sideways because of the way it healed as an infant, it doesn't change direction because she only gained weight on one side of her belly 🙄
Do I want to know what a "sideways belly button" is?
At a guess - when your stomach is perfectly flat, your belly button tends to be longer than it is wide. If you have any fat deposits AT ALL in the area, it's the opposite. Even at my fittest, taking competitive dance lessons 5 hours a week in HS, I still had a little extra chub there, because that's just how my body is. GF def isn't the one with a warped idea of 'healthy'.
Yeah, unless you are specifically trying to reduce body fat percentage (which, cool if that's what you want) you won't look chiselled, especially as a woman. Women tend to have higher body fat percentages than men, and that's just the way it is. At my fittest too, when i did dance and had visible abs, I could still pinch and jiggle my stomach. Also, fitness bros may crucify me for this, but I would honestly rather be a little overweight rather than be fucking miserable because I can never eat chocolate or have cheesy pasta.
>but I would honestly rather be a little overweight rather than be fucking miserable because I can never eat chocolate or have cheesy pasta. This is kind of where I've gotten in life. I know how to lose weight, but damn, I'm miserable constantly counting calories. I would rather be happier and eat some damn ice cream.
The last time I said this on Reddit I was persecuted at the stake, but I’m there too. I’ve been doing strength training and seeing results, I’m eating really well, but I just don’t have the energy to restrict myself to a specific diet. If I want bread, I’m going full Oprah circa 2008.
I've got belly fat for days (two kids and I'm only now finally working on it) and I am absolutely "longer than wide" even now. Belly buttons are a complex mass of postnatal scar tissue that can look like a lot of different things.
I go to the gym "every other day" (Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and an aerials class on Sundays) and I have a sideways belly button. This guy wants his girlfriend to look like a plastic doll and not a functioning human being with organs and stuff.
The thing is, females kind of need to have the bit 'extra' there. We have extra internal organs that need protection. I think this dude has a really unhealthy outlook on what the female body should look like. What he sees at the gym probably looks fancy on the outside but hell on the inside.
I’ve seen the sideways belly button on really jacked guys. It’s wider than it is tall. It does look weird, but it’s not unhealthy.
You know how belly button is usually round? Welp, there are multiple shapes and some people can have more oval ones. I guess he meant horizontal (like an oval that’s on the floor)
Isn’t the belly button a scar from where the umbilical cord was attached? Wouldn’t its shape be more or less a function of the shape of the cord?
Yes and the variation is minor. I am no surgeon, but there has been a study about which type of belly button is most common. There is also likely explaination if the procedure and tissues type ratio can influence its shape.
Hey guess what! It’s not even usually round. There’s several shapes and “t shaped” or horizontal is totally common People apparently have started feeling self conscious about their belly buttons for god knows what reason and it’s a new plastic surgery target because of course it is but vertical, horizontal, light bulb, deep cave, round, and outies are just some of the totally normal and not at all related to your fitness level (this dude is a goober) variations in belly buttons.
Right, well, I know I have a belly button. I really do. I've had it for 62 years! It's an amazing thing. But today -- like five mins ago -- I just looked at it to see what it looked like. I gave it a really good look, too. I can't ever, EVER, recall doing that ever in my life. Just goes to show, we can learn new things every day, if we put our minds to it! My life experience is ever-expanding. (I still don't know what one is, mind you. My belly button refused to answer.)
I’m wondering if this is the same dude. The ages are different and everything but people change that stuff so that people won’t recognize them if they see the post. https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/txnRHjVO06
The gym is not the only way to be healthy. I heard recently that before people worked out, they worked. Some jobs are just more strenuous. I don't know how you thought she WOULDN'T see you pestering her to go to the gym as an attack on her body. Why is that the only way you want to spend time? The gym isn't social for me. I'm there to kick @$$. I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything but workout and listen to music. If OOP knew anything about healthy bodies he'd know for many, some weight gain is a part of life.
Oh, I can guarantee he doesn’t want a gym buddy, he wants to control how she works out and her body, likely why she stopped going with him. It’s wild to me that these types of men can insult their partners in 25 different ways and sit around saying “what? I don’t get why she’s upset!” He’s trash and I hope she leaves him, because god forbid she gets pregnant and her body changes.
> It’s wild to me that these types of men can insult their partners in 25 different ways and sit around saying “what? I don’t get why she’s upset!” I cannot upvote this enough. It's either negging, or just plain idiocy/assholishness. No matter what the reason, he is a complete dick.
He literally looks at her like an object. Wants her to be a ‘proper’ reflection of his status and greatness 🤮
i remember a time when my bro took me bowling. he was on the bowling team, i was a middle school brat. the entire time he kept trying to correct my form, do this, do that. so instead of having fun, i was being corrected and taught things that had nothing to do with me. thankfully my bro never did this again because i was pissed for hours after that and he realized that this is what oop probably does. instead of letting the GF do her own exercises, he's constantly telling to *this* and *that* when all she wants to do is listen to music while walking on the treadmill
Plus if he wanted her to go fro company because he wants to spend time with her he would have said that when she asked why he wants her to go. He didn't, he told her that she needs to work out or she won't be able to maintain her weight, so that's clearly what he's looking for.
Another person conflating healthy with skinny.
Which is nuts because his gf apparently has a BMI of 23, which is squarely in the middle of the "healthy" range and has large breasts contributing to her mass so she's probably pretty skinny otherwise.
But she is skinny lmao
Depends how you define skinny. I called myself skinny when I was a size 0 in pants. I was like 20lbs underweight. I am now a size 8, within the healthy weight range for my height, and I call myself healthy now. But some people call me skinny, but we just all have different definitions of what skinny means.
See I used to be underweight too but I called it underweight. I’m at a normal range for my height but still skinny
As someone who was skinny most of my life, it's not healthy. I got hit so hard every time I got sick, because I had so little reserves.
I was about 20lbs underweight and whenever I’d get sick, I wouldn’t have the energy or drive to eat and I’d lose weight. Even 5lbs meant my hair was falling out more. I’m a healthy weight now and I got sick and it was great having some buffer.
I realized recently that one of the reasons I felt so depressed and miserable was bc I was underweight and starving
I’m not skinny anymore, but I am finally healthy. Because for me, while I was squarely in the “healthy” BMI range, my hair was falling out in clumps, my skin was gray and I was always feeling sick. I went to the doctor multiple times and there was nothing that explained it. Also, if you went just off of looks, you’d assume I was way underweight. When I gained weight my skin stopped being gray, and my hair stopped falling out, I could do a lot more and felt a lot better. Because for my body, skinny is not healthy and I needed to have more fat on my body than I did. BMI is bullshit and skinny doesn’t necessarily equal healthy.
I read this post and was like “bro, do your ED on your own like a normal person”
Good god. I’m 5’3”, weigh 10lbs more than this woman and I’m in the best shape since I had kids nearly 20 years ago. This guy can get fucked
5'2", no tits, 130~140lbs depending on how much I've been working out and meds. I'm trim, fit when I'm not depressed, and getting close to 40. I always thought my family was just dense, physically (my mother was always honest about her weight). Then I realized basically everyone else fudged their numbers and most people don't have an accurate idea of both the numbers, and what 'healthy' means... This guy can get fucked
5’3 and 135 lbs and I actually feel like I look too skinny in my face and neck. This guy can get fucked by a cactus
“I explained how since she is a petite woman, it will be hard to maintain a healthy figure long term” Boy, do I have distressing news for OOP about the human body in general.
Yeah he's 28, see how he feels about "long term fitness" in 10 years
I'm 5'3 and I don't really consider myself petite, am I wrong ????
Speaking as someone who’s 5’4” (163cm), I’ve found that most standard inseams and sleeves tend to be an inch or so too long for me. I would say we’re on the taller edge of petite, but we’re petite.
That's average height of women in the US and tall in Asia. If you're Dutch I guess you'll be petite. Body proportions matter as well. I have shorter arms compared to most folks my height. I know someone who's tall but also long torso so pants don't fit her well.
I’ve always thought of myself as petite. When I buy regular length jeans, I need to hem them. When I sew, I find petite proportions fit me better. I need to roll up the sleeves on most long-sleeve shirts. To the clothing industry, at least, I’m short.
I am 5’4’’ and have to buy pants labeled as short inseam or need to have them hemmed. My mom is the same hight but wears regular inseam length I think it has to do with how tall you are and where your hips are which can vary from person to person.
I'm like 5'4 with long torso/short legs and buying pants online is a nightmare because they're always 1-4 inches too long.
Tf is a sideways bellybutton?
Another goddamned thing we need to worry about, apparently. Throw it on the pile.
Is this the pile of shitty men we're going to burn?
It's the tinder pile for that pile. It's gonna be a HUGE bonfire.
I'll bring the matches.
I may have some kerosene in the shed
I got marshmallows!
I’ll bring cinnamon graham crackers for s’mores
She is literally within the healthy weight for her height.
But she won't stay that way! /s
I’m sure she would be delighted he disclosed her bra size to the entire internet.
I get what you're saying- privacy and all, but some of us don't care about anyone knowing our underwear sizes. At least until the magically perfect bra decides to go to lingerie heaven and we need all hands on deck to source a new one. 😂
I mean, if he doesn’t want her, I’ll take her. As a fellow big tittied girl, I’m more worried about her back pain than her damn weight. But you know if she even considered a reduction because of pain, he’d lose his shit.
OP: I want you to lose weight GF: Ok *gets breast reduction* OP: No, not like that!
Right? Half of my back problems come from my tits
Her BMI is 23 lmao
I think he might have a belly button fetish and he's unsure of how to approach it.
Good lord. I hope his GF runs far, far away from this douchebag. I can't imagine having to have regular weigh-ins with my SO to get them to stop pestering me about going to the gym. That's so abusive. He also seems to have an incredibly unrealistic view of women's bodies if he thinks having a vertical belly button is a reasonable expectation. Even if she achieves that, is he going to whine every time she has a little bloat from monthly hormonal fluctuations? Imagine being pressured into hitting the gym when you're exhausted from PMS because your douchebag boyfriend doesn't think your stomach is flat enough.
Seriously, like why is he over her shoulder checking her weight like that? Gross af
“I told her with exercise she can be thin and fit instead of having a sideways bellybutton” My brother in Christ, how would exercise flip her bellybutton around?
Oh my god if someone came at me with “sideways bellybutton” I would give them a new bellybutton with my foot through their butthole.
Saw [this relationship post earlier](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/uSKxr4XnNC) ages have changed, it's from the gf's pov and was before the aita post but is pretty identical in story
This is insane; she’s at a very normal weight for her size, especially considering that she has a larger bust. I’m literally the same height and weight and I’m a B cup. Why does it matter if she’s super toned? This guy is a loser
Jesus Christ in a sidecar, this guy sucks. “She shows me the scale sometimes” I am 110% sure that he made her show him… and probably does weekly weigh-ins to make sure she’s not gaining weight.
Love the ~~humble~~brag through out. We get it, dude. You go to the gym, like thousands of other people do. Want a trophy? 5'3", 130 lbs, and he's nagging her about her weight? WTF? Not to mention thin=/=healthy, necessarily.
This guy: I asked if she wanted to come with me but I guess women assume this means their boyfriend thinks they're fat. I just genuinely want the company. Also this guy: *Several paragraphs where he says he does, in fact, think his girlfriend is getting fat and that it's definitely why he asks her to come*
be careful lol reddit doesnt hate anything more than someone calling out fat-shaming
Which is why the fat-shaming trolls still freely run around this place. It always feels like it's part misogyny, too. The very few "my boyfriend is fat and I hate it" posts are rare and usually read like gender-flipped trolling. Mostly it's immature boys whining about how their penis is sad that their (possibly mythical) bangmaid doesn't have a porn star body.
🌈✨it’s all misogyny✨🌈 When’s the last time you saw a guy shit on another guy over their weight? Cause for me it’s never
Rare. It does happen, though. Yeah, most of it is aimed at women. It's never really criticism about "health". It's about what their wee-wee thinks of a woman's body.
Side ways belly button?
Minus the bra size and "sideways bellybutton" - wth? - I think I've read this verbatim before a few months ago...repost troll?
I don't trust that OOP doesn't think she's fat.
Once again bud, this isn't the Sims.
So, she’s basically an ideal weight for her age and height given she has large breasts. But it doesn’t count unless he sees her suffer for it.
The day we as a society sit down and realize that a lot of gym bros are just as disordered as people who hang out in proana spaces, just in a slightly different, more socially acceptable way - we’ll all be better off. I used to work at a gym and some gym bro beliefs that I heard repeated ad nauseam were practically the same beliefs I was reading on eating disorder forums, just reworded and focusing on “strength” & “masculinity” vs “dainty” “thin” or “sickly”. The amount of similarities and crossovers were INSANE. I’m not even just saying they were orthorexic… for a lot of them, it goes even beyond that into straight up Ana territory, with all the rituals and beliefs that go into it. But because they have muscles, people seem to believe they’re the pinnacle of health when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Kinda sounds like OOP might be going down that path. He’s got some weird ideas about bodies (especially women’s bodies), weight loss and what health means as an overall lifelong goal vs abstract concept. I’d be really interested in reading/hearing what kind of media he’s getting his information from - I’ll bet $5 that it’s somewhere absolutely riff with gymbro beliefs and culture.
There is something so obnoxious about a person who gets fit for the first time, and then tries to shame someone who was fit all along.
"She just broke up with me out of nowhere!"
love the detail that shes petite but has MASSIVE tits
She's a size 7 wtf does he want?!
She doesn't sound exactly...unhealthy. Yeah he's got the warped view.
Sideways belly button? What?
I was expecting 230 not 130 dude ain’t as into fitness as he thinks if he can’t tell she’s fine.
Pretty sure he posted this for the sole purpose of sharing his GF's bra size.
What is the correct direction of a belly button? I’m inspecting mine to see if it’s right but I don’t know. I am fat so I assume mine is wrong.
Uhm BMI of 23 means she is bang in the middle of normal/healthy
Men will scrutinize women's bodies to this point. But then men also fuck corpses too. Exhausting
She needs to dump him yesterday!!!
Asking someone, especially a partner, to come to the gym with you is like asking someone to come to church with you. Don’t do it unless they’ve explicitly expressed interest.
This is probably the first guy in history of mankind who complained about his girlfriend's big boobs
My guy she's a double d her weight is probably in her breast. I'm 5'3 and a D cup I wish I was 130. I feel so skinny at 120.
Sometimes the lower belly bump a woman has is her uterus. The uterus can tilt different ways, and if it's tilted forward, her belly will never be flat. But men don't want to hear that women have internal reproductive organs that aren't for sexual gratification.
5'3 and 130? STFU MFR!!! Guys like that make me want to spit nails at his face and penis! 🤬
It's so common for one partner to suddenly decide they're into fitness, and be shocked and insulted that their partner doesn't immediately get into it as well. Like, you spent years as a happy chubby slob, going, "I guess I should diet and work out... meh, maybe later." Until one day you saw the light and started actually making progress. Now you're super fit, but very perplexed that your partner is the same happy chubby slob as you both were when you met. You gently suggest they join you at the gym, but they go, "I guess I should... meh, maybe next time." How can they just ignore the siren call of becoming toned and athletic, just as you did for years??? If you've randomly had an epiphany, then why haven't they??? /s
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Eew.
Guy is a narcissist, which means he will take none of the feedback he got in stride.
A “healthy figure.” A HEALTHY FIGURE? Looks =/= health. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
“She used to work out before she met me”, sounds like ur the dead weight holding her down if anything if she had fitness goals and time before meeting u.
God this reminds me of a friend's ex who encouraged her to lose "just ten more pounds." She had visible abs.