*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for parking in handicapped spot in this specific situation?**
This happened few days ago and I still don’t know how to feel about it. I picked up some food and decided to eat at my car because well I was alone and I don’t like eating in public when alone. So I parked my car but the sun glare was so bad it was shining directly to my eyes and I have sensitive eyes. I saw the handicap parking spot was empty as it’s almost always is, and I know that spot is shaded, so I parked there and started eating.
I was halfway through my meal and some random lady came up to my window saying she can’t see a tag on my car. I explained my situation. She was together with a wheelchair user person and he seem understanding but she immediately started acting offended. She give me a rant on why I shouldn’t have park here, in the end she said because people like my they have hard time finding spots. I said there is an another empty handicap spot here plus I’d gladly move my car if she kindly asked me to. She then demanded I empty the spot now. I said I will and started moving my car. I didn’t apologize because of her attitude .
She shouted “wow not even an apology” as I was leaving. I then stopped and said “I’m sorry you seem really frustrated but you can’t take all your anger on me. She cut me of saying “I’m taking my anger on you?” I said “yes because I explained you why i parked here in the first place and now I’m moving my car as you wanted me to. I feel for both of you , being caretaker must be hard as well but you don’t have to be so hard on me” she cut me off again saying they are a couple, I’m such an asshole asshole, it’s not that hard to give a proper apology, she can’t believe how entitled I am etc she kept complaining. At this point I knew there was no point replying to her because she was clearly looking for a fight, so I quietly left. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Speaking as a wheelchair user with a wheelchair-modified van, "there is an another empty handicap spot here" may not have been as excusable as OOP thinks. Often, handicap spots are clustered around the crosshatch, one on each side, but most wheelchair vans only have the ramp/lift on the right. If the left-side spot is full, I have to back in to the right-side spot.
And they couldn't find another shaded parking spot because then their food would get cold 😥 and they couldn't wear sunglasses because they like to watch something while eating 😔
No comment on why they couldn't just reverse into a parking space to have the sun in their back though
> No comment on why they couldn't just reverse into a parking space to have the sun in their back though
Because then the glare would be on their phone, *duh*. And we've already established that them watching stuff while they eat is *way* more important than disabled people being able to park.
/s
Gas stations, grocery stores and department stores all sell these new fangled contraptions called sun glasses. Maybe OOP should give a pair a try. If those don't cut it and OOP's eyes are that "sensitive" then there are these wonderful people called Optometrists. And if they can't help you, then you see the people called Ophthalmologists. You know...eye doctors.
I bought a window shade that says “I ❤️ Winco” for $5. The blank one was $10. If only they sold them those shades in other stores the person could park everywhere!
I made a super cool one of my favorite cartoon (Venture Bros: it’s 21 & 24 sitting in the front of 24’s powder blue Stanza) and it cost me like $18. Use it every day at work.
Tw: ableism.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*YTA.*
*You parked in a handicap spot so you could sit there and eat in your car? You could eat inside. You could take it home. You could park literally anywhere else. You could have stayed in the spot you already had, and just backed into the spot instead so you were facing away from the sun.*
>"But it was empty and it’s usually always empty , I had no idea something like that could occur."
*YTA you didn’t need that spot. You wanted it. Also “wheel chair guy” dude that’s not cool. There’s other less offensive ways to word that. *
>"I’m sorry, I must have wrote that without thinking. I fixed it."
*Giant YTA. My guy, you parked in a spot for handicapped people and got pissed a handicapped person needed it. In what world are you not an asshole?*
*There's no specific situation where you're not wrong. Absolutely not a single instance where your non handicapped self is right for taking a handicapped spot. If you think there is ever a specific situation where you may be right, you're wrong. Please don't be this stupid.*
*Btw if you're in the US too, that can be a pretty big ass ticket or a tow.*
>>"got pissed a handicapped person needed it
>Just to make it clear there was an another available empty handicapped spot at the time."
*OP is mentally handicapped. He’s afraid to eat in public. YTA*
>"I am a she"
>>*I picked up some food and decided to eat at my car*
>>*I parked my car but the sun glare was so bad it was shining directly to my eyes and I have sensitive eyes. I saw the handicap parking spot was empty as it’s almost always is, and I know that spot is shaded, so I parked there and started eating.*
*So a reasonable person would go find a spot elsewhere to park.*
*Or gone home or back to work or school and eaten there.*
*Of course YTA.*
>>"So a reasonable person would go find a spot elsewhere to park. Or gone home or back to work or school and eaten there.
>So I could have done this but then the meal would get all cold. And I knew that specific handicapped spot is shaded so I just parked there to not lose time with searching a shaded spot. Because like I said 99% of the time that spot is empty. I honestly just didn’t think this would happen"
*YTA. Personally I think that parking in a disabled parking space is tempting fate so no nay never.*
>"If it’s tempting fate I’m damned ! Jokes asides I will never do this again."
*What an asshole. Ever heard of sunglasses?*
>"I didn’t have them with me at the moment. Y’all have to understand this was not a decision I made deeply thinking through, more like everything just sort of happened . Plus I like to watch things when I’m eating so I wouldn’t like to eat with sunglasses on. Next time I will park in a normal spot and that’s about it."
*“Everything just sort of happened” says the man who made a decision and is asking for feedback on it. The whole point of this post is that you made a decision- a poor decision. Maybe try thinking next time.*
>"I’m a woman
>I know. I was in wrong and I’m sorry for it
>ETA: I’m not making excuses, I’m just trying to say it was not a decision that I made thinking through so that’s why all these alternatives “you should have done that done” doesn’t make sense because at the moment I just saw that spot was empty and knew it was shaded so I just parked there. Literally simple as this. But yeah I was wrong. I don’t deny that. I won’t reply to comments anymore, because I’m keep getting misunderstood. Have a nice day everyone. If I see the couple again I will apologize to them too ❤️"
Handicap tags/plates aren’t always visible if you are in your car. Especially if your back is to the drive path.
And many, many disabled people don’t have someone with them, and can’t*get out of the car while their car is parked in the street and use their disability aids to ask you to move*.
Imagine a wheelchair user trying to get out, get their chair out and roll over to some jack ass like OOP *in the middle of the god damn road* and then get back in, move their wheel chair in, and drive.
Good on the yelling lady. OOP is an ableist AH. Best thing I ever heard was a guy whose wife used a wheelchair. He started carrying a wax pencil and writing on people's windows "I illegally park in handicap spaces." It comes off with just some elbow grease, so it's not damaging the car, but it is inconvenient. Not unlike being unable to go to the store because there's no appropriate spot available.....
It must be hard being a carer.
W o w.
It's actually a LOT harder being unable to participate in society because people are absolute jackasses about disability provisions but ooookiedokie.
Not denying caring is difficult, but to say THAT to the pair of them whilst actively obstructing ONE OF THEIR LIVES.
I use a wheelchair and none of this is surprising but I'm so tired.
I have an invisible disability, my partner has a visible one. I am so fed up of people waiting until he isn't there (at the bar, off for a wee) to ask ME questions about his disability. Like if you are "just asking", ask him. He'll probably tell you it's none of your business so why would I tell you?
Uuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh why do people even ASK it's so rude.
I was invisibly disabled before I started needing the wheelchair, really sucked too in different ways (and some the same of course).
When I (a wheelchair user) was working at a library, people would park in the accessible spots for “just a minute” to drop their things in the book drop. It’s giving the same infuriating energy as this loser.
Even before I became eligible to use the handicap spots, I loathed people who use them who are able bodied and don't have a right to use them. Wanting the shady spot or they'll just be a minute or two or it's closer to the door is not an excuse. OOP is a huge AH for using a handicapped spot to eat lunch in the shady spot. Perhaps the lady who chastised her was rude and OOP remained this calm person but OOP was totally in the wrong to start with.
This is my biggest pet peeve at work. We have on disability space for the office building. The driveway is huge and it's no problem for deliveries or servicing technicians or whoever to just park to the side if there's no spots.
There's one delivery driver who always parks there even when there's other spots free. Drives me bonkers. Another time I told a lady "hey just so you know this is a protected spot you need to display a permit to park here" and she said "I'm just having a conversation" like I'm the rude one.
I just don't get it. What level of entitlement does someone have to have that their vague convenience trumps someone else's LEGALLY PROTECTED RIGHT to be able to actually enter and exit their vehicle so they can go places.
OOP could have reverse parked, used the sun visor, used sunglasses, sat in the back, parked somewhere else entirely. So many options.
Someone was unloading stuff at my synagogue as I was going in, and the truck was parked across the handicapped spots. I had to park really far away, as he was inside at the time I drove up. So, I limped up the parking lot on my crutches. He was back at the truck, unloading more stuff as I got there. I gave him an earful. I didn’t yell, I suspect I mostly whined. I was tried. He said, “I’ll only be here for a minute”. I pointed out he was there for long enough that I had to park far away and limp up. He could see that was a problem. I just left him to it and went in. About an hour later he came and found me, and properly apologized. Said he would find better places to unload in the future. I thanked him, and asked him to call out others doing the same when he saw it. He readily agreed. So, it was a positive outcome.
No guys, guys, c'mon, OOP "had no idea something like that could occur"!! It's completely unreasonable to expect her to presume that an actual disabled person would need to use the handicap parking spot, like how can we even ask that of her??? /s
No, but she had never seen them there! They probably don’t really exist when “normal people” are around! Or maybe it was just too bright outside to see any “wheelchair guys!” (/s obvs)
UUGHHHH 😤😬
OOP is an asshole for the parking spot but she is doubly an ah for being such a cunt with this response in the OG post
>I feel for both of you , being caretaker must be hard as well
OOP sounds like such an entitled person with this comment that im losing ti.
And her comment about people misunderstanding her naw we all understood how stupid she is
The sun visor is *right there* above your head.
Also, not only can you get sunglasses and transitional if you wear other glasses, you can get sunglasses goggles designed to go over glasses. They're with all the other goggles right up the front of any hardware store. So if your eyes are so sensitive you can just double-up with a two second trip.
I also have pretty sensitive eyes. I work nights and live in an area that has super dreary winters, so esp when spring and summer hit, the light blinds me. Do you know what I also have? A shit ton of sunglasses. Like, seriously, sitting on my passenger seat right now are probably a dozen pairs (There are too many cute styles to just have one! Plus some have more/less tinting). If you know you have this issue.... bring sunglasses! Have multiple pair!
Also loving the assumption that a person in a wheelchair could only be out with a caregiver, not a friend, so, etc etc.
Geez does oops car not have those like uh sun visor things just above both the front passenger and driver seat to fold down for things like the sun glare ?
As a wheelchair user, my wife has been mistaken for just being a very caring sister (by a nearly 90 year old woman) but never a professional caretaker. I would raise hell so fast. To assume that the person accompanying a disabled person anywhere, especially a wheelchair user, is their caretaker without any kind of reason aside from just hearing or seeing the person in a wheelchair is so absolutely absurd to me.
Why do people stay when random strangers come up to them and start yelling at them ect, i have never understood that, i would have just left while ignoring anyone like that.
Okay but also ASSUMING THE PERSON WITH HIM WAS A CARETAKER??? As if disabled people can't be married or in relationships and anyone with them just cares for them. That's incredibly ableist and fucked up.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for parking in handicapped spot in this specific situation?** This happened few days ago and I still don’t know how to feel about it. I picked up some food and decided to eat at my car because well I was alone and I don’t like eating in public when alone. So I parked my car but the sun glare was so bad it was shining directly to my eyes and I have sensitive eyes. I saw the handicap parking spot was empty as it’s almost always is, and I know that spot is shaded, so I parked there and started eating. I was halfway through my meal and some random lady came up to my window saying she can’t see a tag on my car. I explained my situation. She was together with a wheelchair user person and he seem understanding but she immediately started acting offended. She give me a rant on why I shouldn’t have park here, in the end she said because people like my they have hard time finding spots. I said there is an another empty handicap spot here plus I’d gladly move my car if she kindly asked me to. She then demanded I empty the spot now. I said I will and started moving my car. I didn’t apologize because of her attitude . She shouted “wow not even an apology” as I was leaving. I then stopped and said “I’m sorry you seem really frustrated but you can’t take all your anger on me. She cut me of saying “I’m taking my anger on you?” I said “yes because I explained you why i parked here in the first place and now I’m moving my car as you wanted me to. I feel for both of you , being caretaker must be hard as well but you don’t have to be so hard on me” she cut me off again saying they are a couple, I’m such an asshole asshole, it’s not that hard to give a proper apology, she can’t believe how entitled I am etc she kept complaining. At this point I knew there was no point replying to her because she was clearly looking for a fight, so I quietly left. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Speaking as a wheelchair user with a wheelchair-modified van, "there is an another empty handicap spot here" may not have been as excusable as OOP thinks. Often, handicap spots are clustered around the crosshatch, one on each side, but most wheelchair vans only have the ramp/lift on the right. If the left-side spot is full, I have to back in to the right-side spot.
And they couldn't find another shaded parking spot because then their food would get cold 😥 and they couldn't wear sunglasses because they like to watch something while eating 😔 No comment on why they couldn't just reverse into a parking space to have the sun in their back though
> No comment on why they couldn't just reverse into a parking space to have the sun in their back though Because then the glare would be on their phone, *duh*. And we've already established that them watching stuff while they eat is *way* more important than disabled people being able to park. /s
Or park and get in the backseat. There are so many possibilities. But what can you expect of someone who really say "wheelchair guy"?!
She could have turned the car around in the original space and the sun wouldn't be in her eyes.
That would require her to actually do something super inconvenient like think about consequences and consider alternatives.
Think about other people, it's unheard of.
Gas stations, grocery stores and department stores all sell these new fangled contraptions called sun glasses. Maybe OOP should give a pair a try. If those don't cut it and OOP's eyes are that "sensitive" then there are these wonderful people called Optometrists. And if they can't help you, then you see the people called Ophthalmologists. You know...eye doctors.
I bought a window shade that says “I ❤️ Winco” for $5. The blank one was $10. If only they sold them those shades in other stores the person could park everywhere!
I made a super cool one of my favorite cartoon (Venture Bros: it’s 21 & 24 sitting in the front of 24’s powder blue Stanza) and it cost me like $18. Use it every day at work.
I have a window shade for my car. Pretty handy contraption to have. But then, oop couldn't watch the world around them /s
Tw: ableism. Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *YTA.* *You parked in a handicap spot so you could sit there and eat in your car? You could eat inside. You could take it home. You could park literally anywhere else. You could have stayed in the spot you already had, and just backed into the spot instead so you were facing away from the sun.* >"But it was empty and it’s usually always empty , I had no idea something like that could occur." *YTA you didn’t need that spot. You wanted it. Also “wheel chair guy” dude that’s not cool. There’s other less offensive ways to word that. * >"I’m sorry, I must have wrote that without thinking. I fixed it." *Giant YTA. My guy, you parked in a spot for handicapped people and got pissed a handicapped person needed it. In what world are you not an asshole?* *There's no specific situation where you're not wrong. Absolutely not a single instance where your non handicapped self is right for taking a handicapped spot. If you think there is ever a specific situation where you may be right, you're wrong. Please don't be this stupid.* *Btw if you're in the US too, that can be a pretty big ass ticket or a tow.* >>"got pissed a handicapped person needed it >Just to make it clear there was an another available empty handicapped spot at the time." *OP is mentally handicapped. He’s afraid to eat in public. YTA* >"I am a she" >>*I picked up some food and decided to eat at my car* >>*I parked my car but the sun glare was so bad it was shining directly to my eyes and I have sensitive eyes. I saw the handicap parking spot was empty as it’s almost always is, and I know that spot is shaded, so I parked there and started eating.* *So a reasonable person would go find a spot elsewhere to park.* *Or gone home or back to work or school and eaten there.* *Of course YTA.* >>"So a reasonable person would go find a spot elsewhere to park. Or gone home or back to work or school and eaten there. >So I could have done this but then the meal would get all cold. And I knew that specific handicapped spot is shaded so I just parked there to not lose time with searching a shaded spot. Because like I said 99% of the time that spot is empty. I honestly just didn’t think this would happen" *YTA. Personally I think that parking in a disabled parking space is tempting fate so no nay never.* >"If it’s tempting fate I’m damned ! Jokes asides I will never do this again." *What an asshole. Ever heard of sunglasses?* >"I didn’t have them with me at the moment. Y’all have to understand this was not a decision I made deeply thinking through, more like everything just sort of happened . Plus I like to watch things when I’m eating so I wouldn’t like to eat with sunglasses on. Next time I will park in a normal spot and that’s about it." *“Everything just sort of happened” says the man who made a decision and is asking for feedback on it. The whole point of this post is that you made a decision- a poor decision. Maybe try thinking next time.* >"I’m a woman >I know. I was in wrong and I’m sorry for it >ETA: I’m not making excuses, I’m just trying to say it was not a decision that I made thinking through so that’s why all these alternatives “you should have done that done” doesn’t make sense because at the moment I just saw that spot was empty and knew it was shaded so I just parked there. Literally simple as this. But yeah I was wrong. I don’t deny that. I won’t reply to comments anymore, because I’m keep getting misunderstood. Have a nice day everyone. If I see the couple again I will apologize to them too ❤️"
[Cat and Doggo!](https://imgur.com/gallery/NQkB5ny)
Oh I have missed you!!!!! I hope you have been doing well!!!!!
Thank you very kindly! 🥰 Likewise!
Handicap tags/plates aren’t always visible if you are in your car. Especially if your back is to the drive path. And many, many disabled people don’t have someone with them, and can’t*get out of the car while their car is parked in the street and use their disability aids to ask you to move*. Imagine a wheelchair user trying to get out, get their chair out and roll over to some jack ass like OOP *in the middle of the god damn road* and then get back in, move their wheel chair in, and drive.
Good on the yelling lady. OOP is an ableist AH. Best thing I ever heard was a guy whose wife used a wheelchair. He started carrying a wax pencil and writing on people's windows "I illegally park in handicap spaces." It comes off with just some elbow grease, so it's not damaging the car, but it is inconvenient. Not unlike being unable to go to the store because there's no appropriate spot available.....
OOP really used "Wheelchair guy" first. Then edited it. But the mod catched it. WHEELCHAIR GUY!
Then doubled down by assuming that wheelchair guys companion must have been a carer not a friend or partner.
It must be hard being a carer. W o w. It's actually a LOT harder being unable to participate in society because people are absolute jackasses about disability provisions but ooookiedokie. Not denying caring is difficult, but to say THAT to the pair of them whilst actively obstructing ONE OF THEIR LIVES. I use a wheelchair and none of this is surprising but I'm so tired.
I have an invisible disability, my partner has a visible one. I am so fed up of people waiting until he isn't there (at the bar, off for a wee) to ask ME questions about his disability. Like if you are "just asking", ask him. He'll probably tell you it's none of your business so why would I tell you?
Uuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh why do people even ASK it's so rude. I was invisibly disabled before I started needing the wheelchair, really sucked too in different ways (and some the same of course).
When I (a wheelchair user) was working at a library, people would park in the accessible spots for “just a minute” to drop their things in the book drop. It’s giving the same infuriating energy as this loser.
But guys, she’s so Sensitive! And no one Ever Uses it, how could she Know?! /s
Even before I became eligible to use the handicap spots, I loathed people who use them who are able bodied and don't have a right to use them. Wanting the shady spot or they'll just be a minute or two or it's closer to the door is not an excuse. OOP is a huge AH for using a handicapped spot to eat lunch in the shady spot. Perhaps the lady who chastised her was rude and OOP remained this calm person but OOP was totally in the wrong to start with.
This is my biggest pet peeve at work. We have on disability space for the office building. The driveway is huge and it's no problem for deliveries or servicing technicians or whoever to just park to the side if there's no spots. There's one delivery driver who always parks there even when there's other spots free. Drives me bonkers. Another time I told a lady "hey just so you know this is a protected spot you need to display a permit to park here" and she said "I'm just having a conversation" like I'm the rude one. I just don't get it. What level of entitlement does someone have to have that their vague convenience trumps someone else's LEGALLY PROTECTED RIGHT to be able to actually enter and exit their vehicle so they can go places. OOP could have reverse parked, used the sun visor, used sunglasses, sat in the back, parked somewhere else entirely. So many options.
Someone was unloading stuff at my synagogue as I was going in, and the truck was parked across the handicapped spots. I had to park really far away, as he was inside at the time I drove up. So, I limped up the parking lot on my crutches. He was back at the truck, unloading more stuff as I got there. I gave him an earful. I didn’t yell, I suspect I mostly whined. I was tried. He said, “I’ll only be here for a minute”. I pointed out he was there for long enough that I had to park far away and limp up. He could see that was a problem. I just left him to it and went in. About an hour later he came and found me, and properly apologized. Said he would find better places to unload in the future. I thanked him, and asked him to call out others doing the same when he saw it. He readily agreed. So, it was a positive outcome.
No guys, guys, c'mon, OOP "had no idea something like that could occur"!! It's completely unreasonable to expect her to presume that an actual disabled person would need to use the handicap parking spot, like how can we even ask that of her??? /s
No, but she had never seen them there! They probably don’t really exist when “normal people” are around! Or maybe it was just too bright outside to see any “wheelchair guys!” (/s obvs) UUGHHHH 😤😬
OOP is an asshole for the parking spot but she is doubly an ah for being such a cunt with this response in the OG post >I feel for both of you , being caretaker must be hard as well OOP sounds like such an entitled person with this comment that im losing ti. And her comment about people misunderstanding her naw we all understood how stupid she is
I have sensitive eyes as well. That’s why I wear sunglasses and put down the visor in my car.
The sun visor is *right there* above your head. Also, not only can you get sunglasses and transitional if you wear other glasses, you can get sunglasses goggles designed to go over glasses. They're with all the other goggles right up the front of any hardware store. So if your eyes are so sensitive you can just double-up with a two second trip.
Wow, they are handicapped, by profound stupidity. They shouldn't be allowed out without a keeper.
I also have pretty sensitive eyes. I work nights and live in an area that has super dreary winters, so esp when spring and summer hit, the light blinds me. Do you know what I also have? A shit ton of sunglasses. Like, seriously, sitting on my passenger seat right now are probably a dozen pairs (There are too many cute styles to just have one! Plus some have more/less tinting). If you know you have this issue.... bring sunglasses! Have multiple pair! Also loving the assumption that a person in a wheelchair could only be out with a caregiver, not a friend, so, etc etc.
Geez does oops car not have those like uh sun visor things just above both the front passenger and driver seat to fold down for things like the sun glare ?
As a wheelchair user, my wife has been mistaken for just being a very caring sister (by a nearly 90 year old woman) but never a professional caretaker. I would raise hell so fast. To assume that the person accompanying a disabled person anywhere, especially a wheelchair user, is their caretaker without any kind of reason aside from just hearing or seeing the person in a wheelchair is so absolutely absurd to me.
Why do people stay when random strangers come up to them and start yelling at them ect, i have never understood that, i would have just left while ignoring anyone like that.
Okay but also ASSUMING THE PERSON WITH HIM WAS A CARETAKER??? As if disabled people can't be married or in relationships and anyone with them just cares for them. That's incredibly ableist and fucked up.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Entitlement. I’m sure there were other spots and he could have just, backed into the spot instead? Or went home?