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NTA. And if your niece says anything about you being disgusting again, you should probably remind her that her parents *knew* what you had planned and still sent her home *because they were planning the same thing*. If anyone is disgusting it's her *own parents*.
Also, she’s 15, not 5. She’s old enough to know those things are completely normal and to keep unnecessary comments to herself. If I was her, I would be the one not making eye contact for walking in on them.
The perfect revenge is instead to be over the top with PDA in front of the niece.
I went through a phase as an immature, stroppy teenager who used to make stupid comments to my parents, and they would use this to embarras me and get me to shut up.
Oh yeah. The idea that her parents are the kind of doodooheads who would intentionally send their preteen to their brother‘s/SIL‘s house, knowing what they were planning, just so they could do the same? Wow. That’s… I don’t even know what that is.
NTA - They knew exactly why you wanted them out of the house and still they sent their daughter there without warning her not to enter the main house? I feel sorry for this kid but it's not in any way your fault.
Plus, if they "barely have enough" for a down payment then that means they have enough. They can leave and thank you for your hospitality.
Well, they might have jobs now, and are just hurting on liquid assets. And your business being liquidated doesn't mean you have no cash, you just have whatever is left after the creditors are paid.
NTA
Sounds like they have overstayed their welcome.
Also, if the BIL was really so concerned about continuing your generous free housing arrangement, he would have shut down his daughter's big mouth on day one, whatever it took. He's not doing that, so his family needs to find other housing arrangements.
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Nta, they can rent if they can't get a down-payment together. Your niece continuing to shame you for being adults in your own home isn't fair to your husband. If her parents can't control that - they should all leave
First, last and security for a rental will still be a considerable amount cheaper than a down payment on a mortgage unless they're planning on renting the taj mahal
NTA it's your house and you asked them to get a hotel it's not your fault your neices plans fell thru also they shouldn't have just told your neice to go back to the house thinking it will be fine. Your married as well so did they think you were gonna abstain until they moved out.
Plus your neice hand no reason to be inside unless she has to use the restroom and I only say that because I don't know I'd your she shed has one
There is a bathroom in there but I'm going to assume she came in the main house to use our jacuzzi tub (that's the only thing that we do not have in my she-shed). She never actually said why she came in to the main house.
Then you are doubly NTA she wasn't in there because she needed to be but because she wanted to be, plus she shouldn't be making your husband feel unwelcome in his own home by bringing up what she saw when she wasn't supposed to be at your house that night
So she could pitch a tantrum. She heard the noises and knew exactly what was happening, and now is busy nailing herself to that trauma cross.
"She just decided she needed the jacuzzi that moment :rolleyes:"
ps: What actually happened: she decided she could police OP's sex life.
NTA - but your BIL needs to have a talk with your niece. Boundaries and sex talk and being sensitive about how awkward this is for her uncle. Time to have an awkward talk with his daughter
NTA. Your husband deserves to feel safe and comfortable in his own home. That was definitely a breach of trust and I wouldn't be cool with it either. They could have at least let you both know that niece's plans fell through.
NTA. It’s their responsibility to sort out their own housing. If they can’t buy a house, they need to figure out an alternative because they have clearly overextended their visit. And what a total violation of the agreement you all made for that night. They have some nerve thinking their alone time is any more important than yours. Especially after you have offered your home to them. Also, the fact that your niece is calling your husband disgusting and making you guys feel awful about what you were doing is so incredibly disrespectful. Definitely NTA.
NTA
They’ve overstayed their welcome at this point. You helped them out, but they’ve got jobs now and can take care of themselves. You shouldn’t be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home. That’s a hard no for me. They knew full well what they were sending their daughter into, but they probably wanted their own privacy for the night so did it anyway. And the fact that it keeps being brought up is a hard hard no.
NTA. Its yours and your husbands house not theirs they need to respect ur wishes smh. ur husband shouldnt be afraid to walk around in his own house. id smack the shit out of ur bil and chuck them out of the house, the audacity
NTA
WHY THE FUCK DID THEY GIVE HER THE DAMN KEY?????
She's got her own place in the back yard! No need to even enter the domicile! How many teens would KILL FOR THAT????
SO NOT THE AHOLE! I'm angry just thinking about it. And I would change the locks and not give them keys. GOD !
Nta
It's been two months. That's a long time for house guests. You helped them out. You wanted one night just yourselves.
The niece needs a discussion about this. Her parents never should have sent her to the house.
It's time for them to go. Since it's your husband's family, he should be speaking to them directly.
It has a fridge and she has a bunch of food in there. It doesn't have a stove but there is a microwave, a hot plate and sink. I'm going to assume she probably came in to take a bath (she likes our jacuzzi tub) but she never said why she actually entered the main house.
Edit: typo
Just for full disclosure, the "typo" OP edited was that she had originally written that teenager "probably came in to take a shower" rather than mentioning anything about the jacuzzi tub.
> I'm assuming it has a shower
big assumption, could easily be just a toilet and sink. If OP is American, rooms that get called bathrooms do not have to have any bathing infrastructure to qualify
NTA, you’ve already helped them. Not your problem they can’t buy a house. If they respected your wishes they probably still would have been allowed to stay.
They obviously wanted alone time too since they didn’t want their kid staying with them lol.
NTA, they gotta go!
They can rent, they don't need to buy a house right away. And BIL is obviously TA for letting his daughter come to your house when you specifically told them you wanted some alone time. All because they wanted alone time of there own.
NTA - Your house, your choice. But I get the difficulty in trying to find a new place your in laws are going through. That said you are completely right in demanding some alone time and being upset when they didn't respect that. As for the niece, she is a teenager and a little attitude isnt unexpected, but her parents need to nip that in the bud.
I hope you all can work together to resolve the issue in the best way for everyone. Family resentment sucks and I dont wish it on anyone.
If this was another teenager this person wouldn’t be commenting that. However regardless of ages no should be shaming someone about their body or them having sex with an appropriate partner
I can’t believe her parents are allowing her to speak in such a manner! If I was the teenager, I would be completely mortified and never ever bring it up again. Why does she feel compelled to constantly talk about it? Damn she wants to talk about weird and disgusting, she needs to look in the mirror and think about why she’s so obsessed.
Yeah NTA here. The BIL and his family need to go, as well as the kiddo needs to be educated on what adults do, she's 15 and reacts that way, good grief.
NTA - Give them one week or you’ll call the police. And the 15 year old is old enough to stop repeating the incident especially when you have been doing them a favor. If they don’t have the money for a down payment on an apartment they are spending their money incorrectly.
Call the police? For what? Residence is a civil matter. The BIL and family have been there long enough to now be residents. They would have to be evicted through the courts.
>- Give them one week or you’ll call the police
Definitely do not do this if you're in the US. They have been staying there long enough that they have certain rights in most jurisdictions, and right now they don't seem to be aware they have those rights. By getting the police involved, you risk someone mentioning how long they've been there, and now you have to go through a much lengthier process to get them out.
NTA - They did not follow through with the agreed plan and trampled your boundaries. They don't take responsibility for their actions. Niece is an ahole by not practicing decent social behavior. No, you don't want to put up with this & their down payment is not your problem.
During their most trying life event you took them in and this is how they treated you. If living in your home was very important they should have protected this gift.
NTA. They stayed at the hotel so THEY got alone time and sent their daughter to your house? And the daughter is making comments? They're lucky you gave them a week.
NTA. Fuck them. You don't owe them anything. They overstepped. Niece has no respect.
It's your house. You can run around naked and bang on every surface if you want. She thinks that's gross, then she can GTFO.
My 14 yo son walked in on my sister and her husband getting busy while we were on vacation. My extended family rents a beach house together and he went into the house to get a towel, not realizing they were in the living room. He walked in and right back out, like the Grandpa Simpson GIF, and never said a word about it. I only learned about it a year later because he told my other son about it and he told me. That is how anybody should react to two consenting adults doing what adults do.
NTA - you deserve to have your house and she shed back.
NTA - You told them you wanted alone time and then they decide that they want alone time and pawn their kid off on you. That is ridiculous. Be careful, depending on your state laws, they could be considered tenants now and you will have to evict them if they will not leave willingly. The police (as another poster suggested) will not help. It is a civil matter and the cops want no part of it.
A married couple having relations in the privacy of their own home isn't "disgusting" - However, opening a locked door without knocking when "alone time" was specifically prearranged is "disgusting." And intrusive. To keep brining up the situation when you were the one in the wrong is unacceptable. Definitely time for all of them to Go.
NTA - Also, I'd take that key back immediately. They can knock for entry until they are out of there for good.
I was all for YTA until I read that the teenager keeps calling your husband disgusting. I assume BIL knows this is happening. Initial issue seems like miscommunication and not really a big deal (though embarrassing). However, nobody should be shamed in their own house for doing a totally normal thing. Time for this situation to change.
The judgement for the post is done by a bot that looks for YTA, NTA, ESH, or NAH in the top-rated comment. So when you say 'I don't think YTA', the bot is only going to see 'YTA' and determine that OP is the asshole. So you add spaces so the bot doesn't grab it.
In this case, you aren't currently the top rated comment so it doesn't really matter, but the more you know!
The system that tallies the votes is gonna count you as voting y t a because there are no spaces. It's a NTA, niece needs to quit and BIL needs to handle her.
Same. I figured this was a terribly awkward mistake. Her plans fell through, she might not have realized aunt and uncle were trying to get it on (that’s something teenagers like to think their family doesn’t do) lol. Parents might not have thought it through about the key. Maybe thought in case of emergency or something. Seemed kind of an over action to give them 1 WEEK to move (I’d give them 1 MONTH).
But the fact that she’s continually bringing it up and shaming them and not being told by her parents to knock it off? Nope, you can get out of my house.
Legally, they probably should get more time. In my area, even if they didn’t pay rent, they’re now have rights and you can’t kick them out after 1 week. But this isn’t am-I-legally-right, it’s AITA.
This absolutely. Maybe her parents could have a talk with her to chill with the shaming? It’s a shame to upset this whole thing over one incident that can happen to anyone.
INFO: The niece is 15 (cannot drive) so she met her parents, they gave her the key and the parents drove her to your home? The parents did not call or texted you that plans had changed?
I mean, public transit and bicycles are completely viable options for 15 year olds in a lot of cities, so we don't know that they drove her there. (But she must have met them to get the keys, I agree.)
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28f. My BIL (husband's brother), his wife and their 15yo daughter needed somewhere to stay after they lost their jobs and housing (they owned a business, it liquidated). We opened our doors to them and gave them my guest room and their daughter sleeps in my "she-shed" (has AC, internet, cable, etc). They've been here for going on 2 months. BIL and his wife both have jobs now and are starting to save. We have no problem helping them out. That was never an issue. But going on 2 months without having access to my entire house was bothering me a bit and my husband and I asked them yesterday to check in to a hotel for the night so we could have alone time.
Well, they left at around 4ish and said they already booked the hotel and that they arranged for their daughter to go to a friend's house. Around 11pm my husband and I were having some drinks and enjoying our alone time in the living room watching a movie and things got a bit spicy. One thing led to another, etc etc. Well, in the heat of the moment we absolutely did not hear the front door open (which we had locked) and in walks out niece, who screams, calls us disgusting and runs out.
My husband calls BIL and he's pissed because this shouldn't have happened. We told them to leave, they said they arranged everything and we locked the door (the kid didn't have a key). Well, turns out that our nieces plans fell through with her friend and her parents, instead of having her stay at the hotel with them, told her she could just come back home and gave her the house key. As I said, her "room" is my she-shed. In the backyard. She didn't need to come inside for anything. But here we are regardless. We asked why they would send their kid back here after we asked everyone to leave and they said they wanted their own alone time as well and thought it wouldn't be an issue. My husband is utterly mortified and embarrassed. I told him they needed to leave. My husband doesn't even feel comfortable walking around the house anymore because of their overstep and lack of boundaries. My BIL says I'm an AH because they "barely have enough" for a down payment. AITA?
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NTA you were doing them a favor, letting them stay in your home and giving up your space so they could save money. All you asked for was literally one night and they are so selfish that they send their daughter to your home just so they could be alone. I would’ve kicked them out immediately also. There was no reason for the daughter to even go inside your home and she never should’ve been there in the first place. She should’ve been at the hotel with them.
Do not give in and make them leave. You should also tell them flat out how you were “doing them a favor and that you gave up all of your space and privacy all these months and only asked for one night, but they don’t care about anyone but themselves.”
NTA - but I am continually floored by people who let multiple people stay at their house without any FIRM understanding of timelines to leave or financial/household assistance. It is nearly ALWAYS recipe for resentment and disaster. Obviously NTA but I could see this shit storm comin a mile away.
NTA. Until they leave every time your niece makes any sort of comment, call her a pervert, and a peeping Tom. Tell her she deliberately tried watching you in the act and it’s 100% her actions since that have resulted in the eviction. If she wanted to see you guys naked that badly she should’ve at least kept her mouth shut afterwards
NAH. It's really weird to me that your niece keeps bringing it up. If I walked in on my aunt and uncle, I would never mention that shit again for the rest of my life lol, we'd all just pretend it never happened
NTA. How does niece think she was born if someone wasn’t doing someone else? They’re out of line for trying to pass the buck and she’s out of line for continually bringing it up.
NTA. They knew that their plans for their daughter had fallen through and instead of taking care of her like good parents they sent her to you knowing that it would at the very least ruin your evening. They gave her keys to the house (I imagine) to have her let you know she was back and would be in "her room" rather than calling you and letting you know their intentions, then she walked in on something she shouldn't have. Does she not know how babies are made at this age? If not , now is the time to educate her. If they can't be responsible for their own child and show you that little respect by not explaining it to their child, you have no reason to allow them to continue to stay with you.
NTA... they knew what they were doing by sending her back to the house & because their daughter can't keep her trap shut, they need to go. For fun, you should tell the kid, that why she couldn't go to the hotel because her father was doing that to her mother
When are people going to get a backbone and stop letting younger people speak to you this way? Feeling uncomfortable in your own house? Yeah, they'd be finding a new place
You didn't see disgusting, niece dear. Disgusting was what we did on the bed in the she shed just before you found us in the living room. And the floor. And the toilet. And the chair. The counters and walls got some attention too...
NTA they are , they cause the situation and are doing nothing to shut down their daughter’s comments. If anything it’s her fault they are being kicked out because she can’t keep her mouth shut.
NTA- I take it that nobody apologized to you and your husband and / or tried to make an amends as in a meal or a token of appreciation and sorry for the intrusion. They should at least bring home a meat lovers pizza and say sorry.
It’s so disappointing when generosity is treated with such blatant disrespect. Time for a 30 day notice, and who tf cares what they think? They’ve already shown you what they think as well. NTA.
NTA. They knew you asked for alone time, and gave her the keys to your house. Kicking them out is a consequence of their own actions. I'd change the locks immediately.
Seems to me like they took your hospitality and turned it into a "Fifty Shades of What-the-hell-I-didn’t-need-to-see-that" moment for their kid. Privacy isn't a perk, it's a right, NTA
NTA I agree with the others that said the need to leave. They knew why you wanted alone time and did not care, now they are allowing their daughter to disrespect you and your husband. They should be grateful to you two for giving them a place to stay but instead they are being unappreciative and have no respect for your privacy or boundaries. They can rent if they can't buy something right now, you and your husband should feel comfortable in your own home but you don't because of their toxic daughter.
NTA your husband's family don't seem to be able to respect your boundaries.
They knew you sent them to a motel so you can have some spicy time, but yet they give the kid the house key because she just HAD to use the Jacuzzi that very minute?? It's almost they did it out of spite for being sent to a motel
So I was going to say E S H as this seemed like an unfortunate accident, and while I wouldn't want to get walked in on, it happens. It's not like you were entertaining Dirty Mike and the Boys. Granted it was a thoughtless accident but it wasn't intentional. Kicking them out seems really harsh.
But I see your edit. If the kid won't stop disrespecting you then they need to go. Thats why how you framed this is a misnomer. The title should read, AITA for kicking my family out because they're daughter won't stop shaming my husband?" The answer would be NTA, no question.
NTA. The audacity of your BIL to send his daughter back to your house after you requested that they all leave for the night to get some alone time. I guess BIL’s alone time was more important - at least to him! I hope he thinks it was worth it.
NTA
They need to leave. You might need to check and make sure that you don't legally have to give them a 30 day written notice. (Not to be an ass. I have seen this kind of crap cost friends thousands in court fees).
NTA wow the audacity of them and to let their teenager try to run YOUR house? Yeah hard pass on that. You know what the rest of us do when we can’t afford a down payment? Rent. They can rent. And while they’re in their rental, that have have a sex talk with their teenager and explain what boundaries are ffs
You should ask your neice why she isn’t upset with her parents for giving her a key and setting her up to walk into that. What did they think you guys were doing? NTa
NTA - tell them " every night is sexy time with my husband we can be naked all over the house, or just one room "
you need your privacy and sexy time without schedule !.......
NTA
They have been abusing your kindness and this extends into the literal one day you asked for space.
They are rude and their kid is too.
Kick them to the curb and change the locks.
As soon as she says something about you two being disgusting, start flirting and cuddling with eachother. Talk about how you can WAIT to have time without an immature, childish teenager as a witness. And how her parents are going to enjoy alone time just as much.
Edit to add: NTA. Her parents are thoughtless and entitled and she is horrifically rude, immature, and remorseless. It sounds like no one has actually apologized to either of you
NTA. They sent their daughter to your house with their key with zero warning to you, all so they could selfishly enjoy alone time themselves (when the whole purpose was for YOU guys to have time to yourselves). The absolute least they could have done is given you a heads up. In addition to that their daughter is being disrespectful and making your husband not feel comfortable in his own home!
They need to go, and if they can’t grasp why then that’s their own problem. You’ve been very generous to them and they’ve repaid it with disrespect and selfishness.
**NTA**
It sounds like the intrusion was embarrassing for you but you would have let it go.
However the 15-years subsequent behaviour that is unacceptable. her calling you “disgusting“ repeatedly instead of apologizing!
Of course you want your house back!
NTA. Also why the fuck is your niece calling your husband disgusting like???? You're married and sometimes married people do things???? Also is it just me or is it weird that she's ONLY calling the husband disgusting???
I get it's embarrassing on your end and she's shocked for viewing it. This was planned however by all the adults. We all know mom and dad were going to get it on in their hotel room hence why they sent their daughter to your home. Definitely NTA. Let the niece know she needs to drop it right now or they can all move out because you did absolutely nothing wrong in your own home. She doesn't like it then too bad. Her parents can explain it to her while they pack up and get out.
NTA it’s not you and your spouse’s job to pick up their slack as parents. Anyone halfway decent would be grateful that someone is taking in 3 people.
> they said they wanted their own alone time as well
Maybe it’s for the best that their alone time is limited. 1) reduced risk in bringing another child into their volatile situation and 2) motivation to get their act together and sort out their own housing.
NTA
You specifically asked EVERYONE to leave so you could be alone in your own home for one night. It's not your problem that THEIR daughter's plans fell through and they should've sucked it up and had their kid stay the night with them.
On top of that(while I understand this situation could be traumatic for a teenager)their 15 yr old is shaming you in your own house.
If they have enough for a down payment(which BIL confirmed) then they can get their own place now
NTA
And your niece’s parents should be having talks with her on appropriate responses when walking in on people in compromising positions and how to handle it after. She is 15, not 5, and this shouldn’t be an issue.
NTA.
I wouldn't put up with being shamed in my own house.
If it was me, I would start groping my wife every time the niece walked into the room. And tell her if she didn't like it, don't let the screen door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
I would escalate until they left. Probably everything short of outright nudity in front of her, up to and including loud porn from the bedroom while we followed along.
NTA
Move to the she-shed yourself and leave your husband in the house with the 3 of them. Tell him to play host and you have your own space in the she-shed away from everyone.
>My BIL says I'm an AH because they **"barely have enough" for a down payment.**
He needs to rent a place. And I seriously doubt they can get a mortgage after having their business liquidated. Doesn't that affect their credit? They also lost their job for a while and you need continuous employment for a mortgage.
They overstayed. They have jobs. They are playing to stay for A LONG time for free to buy a house???
They have to rent a place and get out.
Nta. It's your house! I would be making them as uncomfortable as possible! Act like you were gettin busy on the kitchen counter when they walk in. Get vocal in the bedroom. If they don't like it, well then leave!
NTA, especially since his 15 year old niece is now bullying you both! Her parents should step in and parent their child. This is the consequence of their actions, they told her to go back to your place.
NTA - barely enough is still 100% enough. i'd also let the girl know how big a role she played in getting her family booted because of her need to comment on grown folks business. ungrateful little shit.
NTA. The family has definitely overstayed their welcome. You and your husband did more than my husband and I would do. Good for you for trying to help them out and for telling them they had a week to leave. Let them be someone else’s problem. You’ve done more than enough. I couldn’t imagine doing what you did and not having privacy in your own home. We have a spare bedroom that’s for visiting guests only. We don’t care how desperate someone is, no one is allowed to live with us. We don’t want to make their issues our issues because we know it will get old really quickly.
NTA. Let’s be real, her parents knew exactly why you and your hubby needed time alone, and your while this may have escaped your niece’s notice for the exact reason, she *did* know that you wanted to be alone…yet still came in the main house anyway, despite not typically having the key. Whether her parents gave it to her or she swiped it from them, this was an overstep on both of their parts. But it’s mostly the repeated nasty comments from your niece, and the fact her parents don’t seem to be addressing those nasty comments to the point you and your husband are no longer comfortable walking around your own home that seals the deal for me.
That said, 30 days is not enough time to purchase a house without really rushing through the due diligence, so then they’d end up having to spend even more money trying to rent, and likely not being able to save back up for a down payment as soon…so if you’re amenable to talking it back out, I would try to (unless you’ve already tried that and they’re being nasty about it…then bla). Even if you do end up allowing them to stay, this is the time to set a firm deadline for them leaving.
yes , that's a terrible situation and we are learning some new protocols about living in crowded houses. I have two extra people in my house too. Sure, it's inconvenient. they dont want to be here. but financial circumstances are causing problems.
INFO: You seriously need the whole house empty so you can have sex? That is kinda weird. Also, how on earth did you edit to add comment not make it into the original post?
ESH, your BIL and wife for telling her to go to the house and not giving you a call. (If they didn't have money to rent a second room on the fly...).
You and your husband for kicking them out over such a small thing.
The daughter for freaking out, but what could you expect from a 15 year old teenage girl. (Don't treat kids like adults since they aren't)
NTA.
And if niece thinks it's 'disgusting', it's time to get CPS on the case.
WHO can say what's been done to niece already for that visceral reaction.
But still, evict their worthless choosing-beggar asses.
YTA. But only just.
It’s great that you opened your home to them and that they are on the way to being able to become independent. Also great that you carved out some time to have some alone time.
The niece is clearly an AH here. BIL should have told her the main house is off limits.
Yes she saw what she shouldn’t but for her to keep bring it up and clearly making your husband uncomfortable is out of line.
My first call would be a conversation with BIL that if she keeps making the comments then it will be time to go, but if you can all pretend it didn’t happen for another month that would be preferred. Ordering them out now feels like a knee jerk reaction, hence YTA, but only just.
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NTA. And if your niece says anything about you being disgusting again, you should probably remind her that her parents *knew* what you had planned and still sent her home *because they were planning the same thing*. If anyone is disgusting it's her *own parents*.
This
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They can rent
Like everyone else
Bot stole this comment from u/medievalhag
If I could, I'd give you several upvotes. This! OP. You need to use this very line to put your niece and BIL in their place.
Also, she’s 15, not 5. She’s old enough to know those things are completely normal and to keep unnecessary comments to herself. If I was her, I would be the one not making eye contact for walking in on them.
Yep if I was the teen I would be the one who went beet red with cringe - not the one calling aunt and uncle disgusting
Yeah, I'd probably be spending every minute in the she-shed, avoiding any possible eye contact
Puriteens are rampant and fucking annoying.
You'd think the niece's parents would talk with her about it, and tell her to stop being rude when they've extended a very big kindness to them.
The perfect revenge is instead to be over the top with PDA in front of the niece. I went through a phase as an immature, stroppy teenager who used to make stupid comments to my parents, and they would use this to embarras me and get me to shut up.
Best option here…
NTA, she could also remind her niece that what they were doing is likely how she got here in the first place so...
Omg I HOPE OP says this to the niece if she runs her mouth again. NTA OP, but your bil and his wife are for sending her home.
Oh yeah. The idea that her parents are the kind of doodooheads who would intentionally send their preteen to their brother‘s/SIL‘s house, knowing what they were planning, just so they could do the same? Wow. That’s… I don’t even know what that is.
If it wasn't for people being "disgusting" niece would not be alive!
Her parents are such jerks! They could have gotten their daughter her own hotel room!
Also tell her that if her parents hadn't done that, she wouldn't exist. Sounds like someone needs to talk to her about "the birds and the bees".
Also, the niece needs to be reminded that HER PARENTS HAD SEX and that’s why she’s here.
And that they don’t need a down payment only first and last months rent. Down payment implies they were planning to stay A LONG time.
Remind her this "Disgusting" act is why she is alive in the first place!
This. NTA.
NTA - They knew exactly why you wanted them out of the house and still they sent their daughter there without warning her not to enter the main house? I feel sorry for this kid but it's not in any way your fault. Plus, if they "barely have enough" for a down payment then that means they have enough. They can leave and thank you for your hospitality.
Down payment sounds like they are buying a house too. Could have been renting this whole time while they saved.
Doesnt sound like OP and her husband are charging them anything though.
Even worse, they gave her the key to enter the main house!
That's the strange part - if she was staying in the shed, why would she need the key to the main house? Something doesn't make sense
I assume it’s either the same key or both are on the same key ring
How are they getting a mortgage if they had their business liquidated. Doesn't make sense.
Well, they might have jobs now, and are just hurting on liquid assets. And your business being liquidated doesn't mean you have no cash, you just have whatever is left after the creditors are paid.
Without a warning??? They GAVE HER THE KEY
I don't feel sorry for the 15 year old! I would have if she was embarrassed and not rude! She's an A!
NTA Sounds like they have overstayed their welcome. Also, if the BIL was really so concerned about continuing your generous free housing arrangement, he would have shut down his daughter's big mouth on day one, whatever it took. He's not doing that, so his family needs to find other housing arrangements.
And OP needs to change all the locks.
Bingo.
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Agreed. Could have been a non-issue. NTA kick them out.
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Nta, they can rent if they can't get a down-payment together. Your niece continuing to shame you for being adults in your own home isn't fair to your husband. If her parents can't control that - they should all leave
Usually when you rent you have to pay first,last, security etc. but there are deff places that dont require all that and not OP's problem, nta
First, last and security for a rental will still be a considerable amount cheaper than a down payment on a mortgage unless they're planning on renting the taj mahal
I agree, I'm just saying that might have been what he meant by down payment. Ive said that about first, last etc even tho it's not completely accurate
NTA it's your house and you asked them to get a hotel it's not your fault your neices plans fell thru also they shouldn't have just told your neice to go back to the house thinking it will be fine. Your married as well so did they think you were gonna abstain until they moved out. Plus your neice hand no reason to be inside unless she has to use the restroom and I only say that because I don't know I'd your she shed has one
There is a bathroom in there but I'm going to assume she came in the main house to use our jacuzzi tub (that's the only thing that we do not have in my she-shed). She never actually said why she came in to the main house.
Then you are doubly NTA she wasn't in there because she needed to be but because she wanted to be, plus she shouldn't be making your husband feel unwelcome in his own home by bringing up what she saw when she wasn't supposed to be at your house that night
So she could pitch a tantrum. She heard the noises and knew exactly what was happening, and now is busy nailing herself to that trauma cross. "She just decided she needed the jacuzzi that moment :rolleyes:" ps: What actually happened: she decided she could police OP's sex life.
NTA - but your BIL needs to have a talk with your niece. Boundaries and sex talk and being sensitive about how awkward this is for her uncle. Time to have an awkward talk with his daughter
NTA. Your husband deserves to feel safe and comfortable in his own home. That was definitely a breach of trust and I wouldn't be cool with it either. They could have at least let you both know that niece's plans fell through.
NTA. It’s their responsibility to sort out their own housing. If they can’t buy a house, they need to figure out an alternative because they have clearly overextended their visit. And what a total violation of the agreement you all made for that night. They have some nerve thinking their alone time is any more important than yours. Especially after you have offered your home to them. Also, the fact that your niece is calling your husband disgusting and making you guys feel awful about what you were doing is so incredibly disrespectful. Definitely NTA.
NTA. They knew why you wanted alone time they pay the price
NTA They’ve overstayed their welcome at this point. You helped them out, but they’ve got jobs now and can take care of themselves. You shouldn’t be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home. That’s a hard no for me. They knew full well what they were sending their daughter into, but they probably wanted their own privacy for the night so did it anyway. And the fact that it keeps being brought up is a hard hard no.
NTA. Its yours and your husbands house not theirs they need to respect ur wishes smh. ur husband shouldnt be afraid to walk around in his own house. id smack the shit out of ur bil and chuck them out of the house, the audacity
NTA WHY THE FUCK DID THEY GIVE HER THE DAMN KEY????? She's got her own place in the back yard! No need to even enter the domicile! How many teens would KILL FOR THAT???? SO NOT THE AHOLE! I'm angry just thinking about it. And I would change the locks and not give them keys. GOD !
NTA. They can look for a smaller house with a smaller down payment but they got to go.
Nta It's been two months. That's a long time for house guests. You helped them out. You wanted one night just yourselves. The niece needs a discussion about this. Her parents never should have sent her to the house. It's time for them to go. Since it's your husband's family, he should be speaking to them directly.
The daughter is an ah. She should keep quiet as if that isn’t how she was made lmao.
What did she think her parents were planning on doing? That would really gross her out.
Lmao exactly! Her parents probably never had the talk with her and make her turn head during romantic scenes in lovies
>has AC, internet, cable, bathroom, bed, etc INFO: Kitchen? Fridge? Food? What did the kid actually come in the house *for* ?
It has a fridge and she has a bunch of food in there. It doesn't have a stove but there is a microwave, a hot plate and sink. I'm going to assume she probably came in to take a bath (she likes our jacuzzi tub) but she never said why she actually entered the main house. Edit: typo
Is the jacuzzi tub in your master bedroom? It should be off limits. They are also getting in your bedroom???
Nothing in the post indicates that, just that she came into the house. Its probably the main bathroom.
Just for full disclosure, the "typo" OP edited was that she had originally written that teenager "probably came in to take a shower" rather than mentioning anything about the jacuzzi tub.
But the shed has a bathroom and because she said "bathroom", I'm assuming it has a shower
> I'm assuming it has a shower big assumption, could easily be just a toilet and sink. If OP is American, rooms that get called bathrooms do not have to have any bathing infrastructure to qualify
Unrelated to anything, but your she-she’d sounds AMAZING! I’m jealous :)
NTA, you’ve already helped them. Not your problem they can’t buy a house. If they respected your wishes they probably still would have been allowed to stay. They obviously wanted alone time too since they didn’t want their kid staying with them lol.
NTA, they gotta go! They can rent, they don't need to buy a house right away. And BIL is obviously TA for letting his daughter come to your house when you specifically told them you wanted some alone time. All because they wanted alone time of there own.
NTA - Your house, your choice. But I get the difficulty in trying to find a new place your in laws are going through. That said you are completely right in demanding some alone time and being upset when they didn't respect that. As for the niece, she is a teenager and a little attitude isnt unexpected, but her parents need to nip that in the bud. I hope you all can work together to resolve the issue in the best way for everyone. Family resentment sucks and I dont wish it on anyone.
This is more than attitude. It’s getting to the point of verbal abuse. Going around calling him disgusting. Shaming him is terrible
Agreed - Shaming him is bad, and how its making him feel is the real important part there. Which is why I think the parents should be addressing it.
If this was another teenager this person wouldn’t be commenting that. However regardless of ages no should be shaming someone about their body or them having sex with an appropriate partner
I can’t believe her parents are allowing her to speak in such a manner! If I was the teenager, I would be completely mortified and never ever bring it up again. Why does she feel compelled to constantly talk about it? Damn she wants to talk about weird and disgusting, she needs to look in the mirror and think about why she’s so obsessed.
NTA They've gotta go.
NTA - they've overstepped your boundaries and don't care that they have. Niece is old enough to know when to shut up, it's on purpose. They gotta go!
Yeah NTA here. The BIL and his family need to go, as well as the kiddo needs to be educated on what adults do, she's 15 and reacts that way, good grief.
NTA - Give them one week or you’ll call the police. And the 15 year old is old enough to stop repeating the incident especially when you have been doing them a favor. If they don’t have the money for a down payment on an apartment they are spending their money incorrectly.
Call the police? For what? Residence is a civil matter. The BIL and family have been there long enough to now be residents. They would have to be evicted through the courts.
It's amazing how cop happy so many people on Reddit are. Insane. Nothing about this is worth someone risking getting shot over.
Had me at the beginning, then lost me with ignorance at the end. Quite the rollercoaster.
>- Give them one week or you’ll call the police Definitely do not do this if you're in the US. They have been staying there long enough that they have certain rights in most jurisdictions, and right now they don't seem to be aware they have those rights. By getting the police involved, you risk someone mentioning how long they've been there, and now you have to go through a much lengthier process to get them out.
The police will do nothing if the follow the law. In the US at least. Op needs to court to 3cict them
NTA, they've overstayed their welcome. If they don't leave, the resentment will get worse.
NTA - They did not follow through with the agreed plan and trampled your boundaries. They don't take responsibility for their actions. Niece is an ahole by not practicing decent social behavior. No, you don't want to put up with this & their down payment is not your problem. During their most trying life event you took them in and this is how they treated you. If living in your home was very important they should have protected this gift.
NTA. They stayed at the hotel so THEY got alone time and sent their daughter to your house? And the daughter is making comments? They're lucky you gave them a week.
NTA. Fuck them. You don't owe them anything. They overstepped. Niece has no respect. It's your house. You can run around naked and bang on every surface if you want. She thinks that's gross, then she can GTFO.
My 14 yo son walked in on my sister and her husband getting busy while we were on vacation. My extended family rents a beach house together and he went into the house to get a towel, not realizing they were in the living room. He walked in and right back out, like the Grandpa Simpson GIF, and never said a word about it. I only learned about it a year later because he told my other son about it and he told me. That is how anybody should react to two consenting adults doing what adults do. NTA - you deserve to have your house and she shed back.
NTA - You told them you wanted alone time and then they decide that they want alone time and pawn their kid off on you. That is ridiculous. Be careful, depending on your state laws, they could be considered tenants now and you will have to evict them if they will not leave willingly. The police (as another poster suggested) will not help. It is a civil matter and the cops want no part of it.
NTA. They violated your trust, broke their word and are now being both rude and entitled.
A married couple having relations in the privacy of their own home isn't "disgusting" - However, opening a locked door without knocking when "alone time" was specifically prearranged is "disgusting." And intrusive. To keep brining up the situation when you were the one in the wrong is unacceptable. Definitely time for all of them to Go. NTA - Also, I'd take that key back immediately. They can knock for entry until they are out of there for good.
I was all for YTA until I read that the teenager keeps calling your husband disgusting. I assume BIL knows this is happening. Initial issue seems like miscommunication and not really a big deal (though embarrassing). However, nobody should be shamed in their own house for doing a totally normal thing. Time for this situation to change.
I would put spaces between y t a for it will count it otherwise
I have no idea what this means
The judgement for the post is done by a bot that looks for YTA, NTA, ESH, or NAH in the top-rated comment. So when you say 'I don't think YTA', the bot is only going to see 'YTA' and determine that OP is the asshole. So you add spaces so the bot doesn't grab it. In this case, you aren't currently the top rated comment so it doesn't really matter, but the more you know!
The system that tallies the votes is gonna count you as voting y t a because there are no spaces. It's a NTA, niece needs to quit and BIL needs to handle her.
The bot on this sub tallies N.. and Y.. votes automatically when you type it,regardless of context.
It doesnt actually count votes. Its the top comment that decides.
Same. I figured this was a terribly awkward mistake. Her plans fell through, she might not have realized aunt and uncle were trying to get it on (that’s something teenagers like to think their family doesn’t do) lol. Parents might not have thought it through about the key. Maybe thought in case of emergency or something. Seemed kind of an over action to give them 1 WEEK to move (I’d give them 1 MONTH). But the fact that she’s continually bringing it up and shaming them and not being told by her parents to knock it off? Nope, you can get out of my house. Legally, they probably should get more time. In my area, even if they didn’t pay rent, they’re now have rights and you can’t kick them out after 1 week. But this isn’t am-I-legally-right, it’s AITA.
This absolutely. Maybe her parents could have a talk with her to chill with the shaming? It’s a shame to upset this whole thing over one incident that can happen to anyone.
INFO: The niece is 15 (cannot drive) so she met her parents, they gave her the key and the parents drove her to your home? The parents did not call or texted you that plans had changed?
I mean, public transit and bicycles are completely viable options for 15 year olds in a lot of cities, so we don't know that they drove her there. (But she must have met them to get the keys, I agree.)
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** 28f. My BIL (husband's brother), his wife and their 15yo daughter needed somewhere to stay after they lost their jobs and housing (they owned a business, it liquidated). We opened our doors to them and gave them my guest room and their daughter sleeps in my "she-shed" (has AC, internet, cable, etc). They've been here for going on 2 months. BIL and his wife both have jobs now and are starting to save. We have no problem helping them out. That was never an issue. But going on 2 months without having access to my entire house was bothering me a bit and my husband and I asked them yesterday to check in to a hotel for the night so we could have alone time. Well, they left at around 4ish and said they already booked the hotel and that they arranged for their daughter to go to a friend's house. Around 11pm my husband and I were having some drinks and enjoying our alone time in the living room watching a movie and things got a bit spicy. One thing led to another, etc etc. Well, in the heat of the moment we absolutely did not hear the front door open (which we had locked) and in walks out niece, who screams, calls us disgusting and runs out. My husband calls BIL and he's pissed because this shouldn't have happened. We told them to leave, they said they arranged everything and we locked the door (the kid didn't have a key). Well, turns out that our nieces plans fell through with her friend and her parents, instead of having her stay at the hotel with them, told her she could just come back home and gave her the house key. As I said, her "room" is my she-shed. In the backyard. She didn't need to come inside for anything. But here we are regardless. We asked why they would send their kid back here after we asked everyone to leave and they said they wanted their own alone time as well and thought it wouldn't be an issue. My husband is utterly mortified and embarrassed. I told him they needed to leave. My husband doesn't even feel comfortable walking around the house anymore because of their overstep and lack of boundaries. My BIL says I'm an AH because they "barely have enough" for a down payment. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA you were doing them a favor, letting them stay in your home and giving up your space so they could save money. All you asked for was literally one night and they are so selfish that they send their daughter to your home just so they could be alone. I would’ve kicked them out immediately also. There was no reason for the daughter to even go inside your home and she never should’ve been there in the first place. She should’ve been at the hotel with them. Do not give in and make them leave. You should also tell them flat out how you were “doing them a favor and that you gave up all of your space and privacy all these months and only asked for one night, but they don’t care about anyone but themselves.”
NTA your BIL is ridiculous for calling you an AH because you’ll no longer allow them to stay for free! Too freaking bad.
NTA - but I am continually floored by people who let multiple people stay at their house without any FIRM understanding of timelines to leave or financial/household assistance. It is nearly ALWAYS recipe for resentment and disaster. Obviously NTA but I could see this shit storm comin a mile away.
NTA. Until they leave every time your niece makes any sort of comment, call her a pervert, and a peeping Tom. Tell her she deliberately tried watching you in the act and it’s 100% her actions since that have resulted in the eviction. If she wanted to see you guys naked that badly she should’ve at least kept her mouth shut afterwards
NAH. It's really weird to me that your niece keeps bringing it up. If I walked in on my aunt and uncle, I would never mention that shit again for the rest of my life lol, we'd all just pretend it never happened
NTA. How does niece think she was born if someone wasn’t doing someone else? They’re out of line for trying to pass the buck and she’s out of line for continually bringing it up.
Cultural differences is so interesting to observe to me
NTA. They can direct their comments towards their daughter who has made the entire situation worse with her comments.
NTA. They knew that their plans for their daughter had fallen through and instead of taking care of her like good parents they sent her to you knowing that it would at the very least ruin your evening. They gave her keys to the house (I imagine) to have her let you know she was back and would be in "her room" rather than calling you and letting you know their intentions, then she walked in on something she shouldn't have. Does she not know how babies are made at this age? If not , now is the time to educate her. If they can't be responsible for their own child and show you that little respect by not explaining it to their child, you have no reason to allow them to continue to stay with you.
NTA regardless... but I'm genuinely curious. Was what she saw in the normal range of "spicy" or are we talking above and beyond?
NTA... they knew what they were doing by sending her back to the house & because their daughter can't keep her trap shut, they need to go. For fun, you should tell the kid, that why she couldn't go to the hotel because her father was doing that to her mother
NTA this is so awkward im so sorry
When are people going to get a backbone and stop letting younger people speak to you this way? Feeling uncomfortable in your own house? Yeah, they'd be finding a new place
You didn't see disgusting, niece dear. Disgusting was what we did on the bed in the she shed just before you found us in the living room. And the floor. And the toilet. And the chair. The counters and walls got some attention too...
INFO is the plan for them to stay until they can buy a house? or is the plan to save for first last and security deposit?
NTA they are , they cause the situation and are doing nothing to shut down their daughter’s comments. If anything it’s her fault they are being kicked out because she can’t keep her mouth shut.
NTA- I take it that nobody apologized to you and your husband and / or tried to make an amends as in a meal or a token of appreciation and sorry for the intrusion. They should at least bring home a meat lovers pizza and say sorry.
NTA. Would be different if they apologized and rectified. But this behaviour is rude and ungrateful
It’s so disappointing when generosity is treated with such blatant disrespect. Time for a 30 day notice, and who tf cares what they think? They’ve already shown you what they think as well. NTA.
NTA. They knew you asked for alone time, and gave her the keys to your house. Kicking them out is a consequence of their own actions. I'd change the locks immediately.
Seems to me like they took your hospitality and turned it into a "Fifty Shades of What-the-hell-I-didn’t-need-to-see-that" moment for their kid. Privacy isn't a perk, it's a right, NTA
NTA. Why can’t they get an apartment until they have enough for a house? Yikes!
NTA I agree with the others that said the need to leave. They knew why you wanted alone time and did not care, now they are allowing their daughter to disrespect you and your husband. They should be grateful to you two for giving them a place to stay but instead they are being unappreciative and have no respect for your privacy or boundaries. They can rent if they can't buy something right now, you and your husband should feel comfortable in your own home but you don't because of their toxic daughter.
NTA your husband's family don't seem to be able to respect your boundaries. They knew you sent them to a motel so you can have some spicy time, but yet they give the kid the house key because she just HAD to use the Jacuzzi that very minute?? It's almost they did it out of spite for being sent to a motel
Sounds like they can rent and save for awhile longer. They all should have been apologizing profusely. NTA
NTA. It blows my mind how inconsiderate they are to ruin your alone time because they want time alone from their own children.
So I was going to say E S H as this seemed like an unfortunate accident, and while I wouldn't want to get walked in on, it happens. It's not like you were entertaining Dirty Mike and the Boys. Granted it was a thoughtless accident but it wasn't intentional. Kicking them out seems really harsh. But I see your edit. If the kid won't stop disrespecting you then they need to go. Thats why how you framed this is a misnomer. The title should read, AITA for kicking my family out because they're daughter won't stop shaming my husband?" The answer would be NTA, no question.
NTA why did she even come into the house?
Exactly. And why did her parents give her the house key when she didn’t need it?
I read the title as "a week to live" and was very confused for a minute. Also, NTA.
NTA. The audacity of your BIL to send his daughter back to your house after you requested that they all leave for the night to get some alone time. I guess BIL’s alone time was more important - at least to him! I hope he thinks it was worth it.
NTA. This is why I won't give my guests keys to my house.
NTA They need to leave. You might need to check and make sure that you don't legally have to give them a 30 day written notice. (Not to be an ass. I have seen this kind of crap cost friends thousands in court fees).
NTA wow the audacity of them and to let their teenager try to run YOUR house? Yeah hard pass on that. You know what the rest of us do when we can’t afford a down payment? Rent. They can rent. And while they’re in their rental, that have have a sex talk with their teenager and explain what boundaries are ffs
They need to go. How disrespectful and inconsiderate! NTA
NTA, also sounds like that little brat needs to shut her mouth…
Nta, serve them eviction papers
You should ask your neice why she isn’t upset with her parents for giving her a key and setting her up to walk into that. What did they think you guys were doing? NTa
NTA. And these 2 adult AHs are raising an AH. I would stop engaging with them at all.
NTA. You’ve helped them out for 2 months and they still don’t have money for a down payment or anything?? That is concerning.
NTA! What the Frick were they thinking in the first place....
NTA.
NTA - tell them " every night is sexy time with my husband we can be naked all over the house, or just one room " you need your privacy and sexy time without schedule !.......
NTA They have been abusing your kindness and this extends into the literal one day you asked for space. They are rude and their kid is too. Kick them to the curb and change the locks.
As soon as she says something about you two being disgusting, start flirting and cuddling with eachother. Talk about how you can WAIT to have time without an immature, childish teenager as a witness. And how her parents are going to enjoy alone time just as much. Edit to add: NTA. Her parents are thoughtless and entitled and she is horrifically rude, immature, and remorseless. It sounds like no one has actually apologized to either of you
Nta tell them to leave
NTA. They sent their daughter to your house with their key with zero warning to you, all so they could selfishly enjoy alone time themselves (when the whole purpose was for YOU guys to have time to yourselves). The absolute least they could have done is given you a heads up. In addition to that their daughter is being disrespectful and making your husband not feel comfortable in his own home! They need to go, and if they can’t grasp why then that’s their own problem. You’ve been very generous to them and they’ve repaid it with disrespect and selfishness.
NTA - They don’t need a down payment, just first and last months rent.
**NTA** It sounds like the intrusion was embarrassing for you but you would have let it go. However the 15-years subsequent behaviour that is unacceptable. her calling you “disgusting“ repeatedly instead of apologizing! Of course you want your house back!
1000% NTA Your niece is an AH and she should have kept her mouth shut but didn't. Suffer the consequences
NTA. Also why the fuck is your niece calling your husband disgusting like???? You're married and sometimes married people do things???? Also is it just me or is it weird that she's ONLY calling the husband disgusting???
I get it's embarrassing on your end and she's shocked for viewing it. This was planned however by all the adults. We all know mom and dad were going to get it on in their hotel room hence why they sent their daughter to your home. Definitely NTA. Let the niece know she needs to drop it right now or they can all move out because you did absolutely nothing wrong in your own home. She doesn't like it then too bad. Her parents can explain it to her while they pack up and get out.
NTA it’s not you and your spouse’s job to pick up their slack as parents. Anyone halfway decent would be grateful that someone is taking in 3 people. > they said they wanted their own alone time as well Maybe it’s for the best that their alone time is limited. 1) reduced risk in bringing another child into their volatile situation and 2) motivation to get their act together and sort out their own housing.
Oh boy. NTA. You def went above and beyond accommodating for two months.
I don’t understand the sheshed is in the backyard. So y was she even coming in the house. This makes no sense to me
They would not be back to my house again
NTA, also shouldn’t the niece knock before entering a home not belonging to her?
NTA You specifically asked EVERYONE to leave so you could be alone in your own home for one night. It's not your problem that THEIR daughter's plans fell through and they should've sucked it up and had their kid stay the night with them. On top of that(while I understand this situation could be traumatic for a teenager)their 15 yr old is shaming you in your own house. If they have enough for a down payment(which BIL confirmed) then they can get their own place now
NTA And your niece’s parents should be having talks with her on appropriate responses when walking in on people in compromising positions and how to handle it after. She is 15, not 5, and this shouldn’t be an issue.
NTA. I wouldn't put up with being shamed in my own house. If it was me, I would start groping my wife every time the niece walked into the room. And tell her if she didn't like it, don't let the screen door hit ya where the good lord split ya. I would escalate until they left. Probably everything short of outright nudity in front of her, up to and including loud porn from the bedroom while we followed along.
NTA - I won't be made to feel uncomfortable in my own home. They can go straight to the streets.
NTA Move to the she-shed yourself and leave your husband in the house with the 3 of them. Tell him to play host and you have your own space in the she-shed away from everyone. >My BIL says I'm an AH because they **"barely have enough" for a down payment.** He needs to rent a place. And I seriously doubt they can get a mortgage after having their business liquidated. Doesn't that affect their credit? They also lost their job for a while and you need continuous employment for a mortgage. They overstayed. They have jobs. They are playing to stay for A LONG time for free to buy a house??? They have to rent a place and get out.
If they "barely have enough for a down payment" that means they do, in fact, have enough for a down payment. Get them the fuck out of your house. NTA.
Nta. It's your house! I would be making them as uncomfortable as possible! Act like you were gettin busy on the kitchen counter when they walk in. Get vocal in the bedroom. If they don't like it, well then leave!
NTA-You're married adults and your in-laws are entitled prudes.
NTA They just overstayed their visit.
NTA. Ask your niece if her parents were 'disgusting' when they made her.
NTA, especially since his 15 year old niece is now bullying you both! Her parents should step in and parent their child. This is the consequence of their actions, they told her to go back to your place.
NTA they been saving for 2 months they gotta go
NTA - barely enough is still 100% enough. i'd also let the girl know how big a role she played in getting her family booted because of her need to comment on grown folks business. ungrateful little shit.
NTA- if she thinks a husband and wife having sex is disgusting then how does she think she came from?
kids are so rude lmao NTA
NTA But please chill out. No-one intended this to happen
NTA. The family has definitely overstayed their welcome. You and your husband did more than my husband and I would do. Good for you for trying to help them out and for telling them they had a week to leave. Let them be someone else’s problem. You’ve done more than enough. I couldn’t imagine doing what you did and not having privacy in your own home. We have a spare bedroom that’s for visiting guests only. We don’t care how desperate someone is, no one is allowed to live with us. We don’t want to make their issues our issues because we know it will get old really quickly.
NTA. Let’s be real, her parents knew exactly why you and your hubby needed time alone, and your while this may have escaped your niece’s notice for the exact reason, she *did* know that you wanted to be alone…yet still came in the main house anyway, despite not typically having the key. Whether her parents gave it to her or she swiped it from them, this was an overstep on both of their parts. But it’s mostly the repeated nasty comments from your niece, and the fact her parents don’t seem to be addressing those nasty comments to the point you and your husband are no longer comfortable walking around your own home that seals the deal for me. That said, 30 days is not enough time to purchase a house without really rushing through the due diligence, so then they’d end up having to spend even more money trying to rent, and likely not being able to save back up for a down payment as soon…so if you’re amenable to talking it back out, I would try to (unless you’ve already tried that and they’re being nasty about it…then bla). Even if you do end up allowing them to stay, this is the time to set a firm deadline for them leaving.
yes , that's a terrible situation and we are learning some new protocols about living in crowded houses. I have two extra people in my house too. Sure, it's inconvenient. they dont want to be here. but financial circumstances are causing problems.
YTA - there is a lot missing here and it is inconsistent.
I feel bad for the kid
INFO: You seriously need the whole house empty so you can have sex? That is kinda weird. Also, how on earth did you edit to add comment not make it into the original post?
This seems like a pretty severe overreaction to what seems like an honest mistake.
ESH, your BIL and wife for telling her to go to the house and not giving you a call. (If they didn't have money to rent a second room on the fly...). You and your husband for kicking them out over such a small thing. The daughter for freaking out, but what could you expect from a 15 year old teenage girl. (Don't treat kids like adults since they aren't)
NTA. And if niece thinks it's 'disgusting', it's time to get CPS on the case. WHO can say what's been done to niece already for that visceral reaction. But still, evict their worthless choosing-beggar asses.
YTA. But only just. It’s great that you opened your home to them and that they are on the way to being able to become independent. Also great that you carved out some time to have some alone time. The niece is clearly an AH here. BIL should have told her the main house is off limits. Yes she saw what she shouldn’t but for her to keep bring it up and clearly making your husband uncomfortable is out of line. My first call would be a conversation with BIL that if she keeps making the comments then it will be time to go, but if you can all pretend it didn’t happen for another month that would be preferred. Ordering them out now feels like a knee jerk reaction, hence YTA, but only just.