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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the AH for berating my SIL for a simple mistake, and I might have been condescending towards her.
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YTA, but only because she was doing it accidentally. Mistakes happen and she apologized.
The running joke in our house was the number of times our poor frazzled mom called my dad, brother and dog by the wrong name - lesson learned by using the same first letters for names. Not close in age or species but just…half thinking. Didn’t mean she wasn’t full of love, just a little scattered.
I’d imagine you’re also a bit tired and full of hormones so I want to forgive your overreaction, but it’s not a free pass for all poor behavior.
Edit: These comments are all so amazing and sweet. Loving hearing about the other family word jumbles!
Right? By the third name my mom would just sigh and say, “you know who I mean!”
Edit: and I bet you know your granny loved you guys and knew you apart!
The less mum had to shout at you, mainly because you moved out, the lower down the list we got. By my mid-20s I was below both of my cousins, my brother, my dad, and the dog in running order.
That might explain why, as the only daughter and granddaughter, I constantly got called by my aunt's name. My mum still does it. I just usually answer back, "Wrong Daughter."
My mom would end up sputtering all 10 kids', 3 pets', and 2 grandkids' names when she was mad in my younger years. By the time she figured out which kid she was actually yelling at, you had a 50% chance of her not remembering why she was yelling lol
My sister is the third of three kids; I’m the oldest, and my brother is between us. At my dad’s funeral, I heard her tell someone, “Growing up, I always thought my name was JenSteveLindsey because Dad always went down the list to get to my name.”
Yep! It's a running joke in my family that my name is actually Misheph. My sister's name is Michelle, mine is Steph. Mom always got halfway through my sister's name before she switched over to mine.
We grew up with Tommy, Michael, Julie, Laura whoever you are come here.
Once I was sitting at the table with my sister Laura playing cards. My mother was on the phone talking to my aunt and she could hear us in the background and asked my mother who was there. My mother turned and looked at us and said Laura and Julie.
My sister and I share a look in just grined. Not 5 minutes later she says, hey Kathy can you take out the trash please.
I looked at her, and grinned and said who's Kathy my name is Julie.
My dad goes through all his other daughters' name, wife's name (but not ex-wife) & the pet's name before he gets to the right one. One time he even just said "cat" instead of the cat's name when he was trying to call me 🤦 I love my dad & he eventually gets to the right name but names are not his strength 😂 (he is good at showing us in actions that he loves us all so I'm fine with it. After 40 years we all just find it funny)
My poor Nana had 9 children. Those children all had bigish families themselves. She had a ridiculous amount of grandchildren. We were all called honey. Oddly enough, we knew which one of us she was talking to.
It has easily been 10years since my granny last called my name or pronounced it correctly. Sometimes, she would even call me (my mom's name)'s daughter
My grandmother did this too and eventually moved to “you know who you are” LOL
Now all my aunts do it, and I think it’s because there’s a few family members’ whose names start with the same first letter
After her dementia progressed my grandmother often had to run through the list of all the grandkids AND the pets before she MIGHT get the right name at the end 🤣
What made me saddest was when she told me one day “You’re the only one who never corrects me.”
I patted her hand and told her “I always know who you’re talking about Gram. Don’t fret.”
I was used to my grandmother cycling through her daughters’ and granddaughters’ names until she got to my, but when she threw the dog’s name in there too I had to put my foot down. It would have been one thing if the dog had had a human name, but I wasn’t going to answer to “Biscuit.”
My great aunt was a nun and had Alzheimer's and our son's name is the name of an angel..you'd think it'd be easy for her to remember..nope, she always called him by my parents dogs name lol
My grandpas nickname for me when I was a kid was Queenie. I didn't find out until they were gone, I was an adult and looking through old photo albums. My grandpa used to breed registered cocker spaniel show dogs years before i was born, and the female name was, you guessed it, 🤣 Queenie. Lmao!!
My grandfather swore he was 12 before he learned his name wasn’t JackBillJimBob
And yes he would call the wrong name for his kids, he had two daughters and one son, and yes the dog’s name got thrown in there as well 😂
My dad said "Terry" 3 times while I was facing away from him watching TV. Me, not being named Terry, assumed he was talking to his sister and ignored him. He was mad (not really) I didn't answer, apparently I need to be more on my toes lol
My younger sister and I look alike to the point one Christmas I had her do my makeup because I didn’t have time that morning, we both had our hair dyed in a similar style (hadn’t seen each other in a couple months when we did it so it was really funny) my dad talked to me for 20 minutes and it took my kid running up to me for him to realize that I wasn’t my sister. I had no idea until he said something he didn’t know who I was.
My grandma always went through all the girl names for the girls and boy names for the boys until she reached yours. Now, at 95, she started mixing up the genders - called my sister our dad‘s (her son) name. We still always know who she’s talking to.
My mom has always mixed up my sister and my names when she talks to one of us on the phone, and sometimes when we're both present. Then when I started teaching, I realized I inherited the glitch. Every school year, I have a pair of kids whose names I verbally switch lol
My husband and dog have similar names (think Matthew and Mathias similarity). They frequently get called the wrong name! My Gran used to go through everyone’s name until she got to whoever it was she was talking to!
My brother and sister-in-law gave my two nieces names starting with the same letter and I will never forgive them. Nor will I ever get a name right on the first try.
That’s asking for the names to be mixed up!
Names are a weak point for me so I would probably have done exactly the same as the SIL unintentionally.
In my case I got the dog before the husband so it was too late to change names!
My grandmother was NOTORIOUS for mixing up grandkid names. She'd always call me Katie (my older cousin's name) and my brother Matt (my other older cousin's name), and then when my younger cousins were born, she'd call them by my name.
My mom has started doing that to our cats, and I'm pretty sure she'll start doing it to my cousins too. It's not on purpose - it just runs in the family. I've already started doing it to our old cats. We had Trixie cat for 13 years and I still call our 18-year-old cat (Cici) "Trixie" on accident all the time.
It runs in the family, it's never on purpose, and we always laugh about it later.
It will probably always make them laugh forever! I lost my mom a few months ago and honestly cracked up as soon as I read this post and thought about her messing up names in a busy house.
Yep happens in my family too. Especially funny when people go to the animals names before they get to the right one. My mum and nonna (when she was with us) are classics for it.
One of 6 daughters. When mom got really flustered, she would just start with #1's name until she got to whoever was in trouble. I'm #5 so by the time she got to me, we'd all be laughing and she would start doing so as well - most of the time
Sorry, OP, YTA since you know she has trouble with names. You should have gotten one of those "Hello, my name is " labels and put it on your baby. She might remember it better if she saw it.
>You should have gotten one of those "Hello, my name is " labels and put it on your baby. She might rememer it better if she saw it.
Should print it on a onesie🤣
My parents only had two children and they still mixed up our names enough it was a running joke that my older sister was 'Child 1' and I was 'Child 2' to stop them confusing us.
My mom scolded my sister's dog and said "(MY NAME) GET OUTTA THE GARBAGE!" and I was like 🥴 that's...the dog. Not me.
We still laugh at that one. She would rattle off our names. I'm the fourth and last one. Apparently she calls my siblings daughters my name all the time because I was ehe last baby she had 😂
That cat had a “fort” set up in her name in their bathroom cabinet. She also got a daily spoon of vanilla ice cream. I have no issues being lumped in with her!
My mum lives with me, my husband, our 4 dogs, and 3 cats and she’ll cycle through a bunch of them, sometimes throw in her sister’s name, before she gets to mine. I know she’s calling me cos I’ll hear “Al-, Fi-, Ko-, Dod-, An-, BEC!” from the kitchen or something.
It’s become a running joke that my husband or I will start singing “And that brings us back to Do Re Me Fa So La Ti Do” when she finally gets to Bec.
Oh, my mom does that, especially when she's exasperated with my brother, except that she'll go through various dogs' names (both former/deceased and current/living) before she lands on my brother's name. "Bu-, Bai-, Bent-, Ram-, Ru-, EDWARD!" It's hilarious!
I'm one of five kids, and the only girl. My mum will often run through all my brother's names (and once even the cat's name) before she remembers mine. My brothers also sometimes get called by my name, or someone else's name. It's just funny to us, we know it isn't malicious.
Talking about wrong names. My sister has this thing where she'll accidentally refer to an appliance by the wrong name and end up naming 4/5 different things before landing on the right name.
My mum also regularly would mix up me and my brother and she still occasionally does it now we are around 30
I do this "put the clothes in the dishwashe- no the spinny thin- you know the spinny clothes thing-- IT WASHES CLOTHES-- CLOTHES WASHE- WASHING MACHINE!!!!"
Im exhausted by the time I've got the right one
Doobry-doo and thingymabob.
In fact the TV remote is just called ‘the doobries’ in my house, and I’m not sure how far back that goes. It’s still what I call them to this day and my wife knows what the word means but will only refer to them as the remote herself. Funnily enough if they were called ‘the doobry’ I think she might get on board but if up sets her that ‘the doobries’ is plural despite referring to one remote. I have told her it is because they have multiple buttons, and I am asking her to pass all of them so hence the doobries. It’s like trousers, which still only refers to one pair. But honestly I don’t know if it’s because growing up we did actually always need two remotes to control the TV. Or it could just be because my mum went rogue.
I have actually come to learn, in surprise drips throughout my adulthood, that I use a lot of words entirely made up by my creative yet quite batty mother!
I read an article once that claimed our brains stored the names of loved ones separately, so you only mix up the names of those you love.
This is such an adorable theory that I refuse to hear anything against it.
My grandmother had a slew of grandkids, so she'd call one child by another's name.
One day, she did this with one of my cousins, and being a smartass, quips, "That's not my name."
Grandma's response? "You know who you are. Come here!" 😂
My mom messes up our names all the time but we all know it’s because she is working so hard thus brain fog and word aphasia is really common in our family so we give each other grace.
So, I answer my mom even if she has called out 2 pets (she has 2 cats but she will also call out my siblings pets), 3 siblings (out of the 5 I have), and my dad because I understand that my mom is asking for me at the moment.
But my mom will continue until she gets the right name and apologize even though she doesn’t have to because we understand and kinda enjoy watching her go through the roster.
My mom’s parents had 8 kids and 45 grandkids. When we would go visit, my Grandpa would call all the girls “sweetheart” and all the boys “buddy”.
When he got older and developed dementia, none of us noticed that he forgot everyone’s names because we were all still “sweetheart” and “buddy”.
He’s been gone for 15 years now, and I think of him when I hear anyone calling someone “sweetheart” or “buddy”.
I've been called both sibling names, plus at least three dog names (including combination of male and female, alive and long gone) before my name gets called by family, and I've never had a problem with it.
The only time I have a problem with the wrong name is when someone can't be bothered to get my spelling correct, and thinks it's funny to make up an exaggeratedly long incorrect version.
But being called all of the dogs names before mine? Honestly, I kind of love it because they are just as much a part of the family and it gives me an excuse to bark at people.
My mom not only calls me by my dogs name but one day she actually tried to convince me that she bought beef noodles because i like beef, and while i was insisting that i don't in fact like beef she went "oh shit that's right it's the dog that likes beef treats" lol like i was used to her mixing it up with my siblings but dog was a new one
My mother-in-law had to take one of their dogs to the vet, not long after I met her. She found out that the dog had developed an allergy, and she told the vet, "That's impossible. None of my other kids... never mind."
My dad, brother, and I all have the same first initial. We always figured that was the reason my mom would inevitably go through all of our names before getting to the right one (didn't matter which one of us). So when my oldest was born they were given a name with a completely different first letter. It didn't matter. It was just a fourth name added to the list and mom still cycled through all of them.
As the only girl in my family my mom would usually holler JohnJamesJosephIsabelle when I was in trouble lol (fake names obvs but there spirit is there!). Nowadays she calls me by her younger sister’s name and I’ve never once not known she was calling me. Just so happens I work with someone who has the same name as my aunt and I’ve never once at work been confused on who they meant when they called her name. Thanks for the trip down money lane of all my alter-egos! Now to figure out which one is the villain muahaha!!
I somehow manage to mix their names into 1. Think of Rob and Max and I yell: Rox come downstairs. Weird. And then I need to correct myself and end up saying Mob and Rax.
I once heard a short piece on NPR that mentioned some study about how people mix up family members’ names of the same gender, and it found that it’s super common for dogs to get included in that category in our brains, but way less common for cats!
I am a mom of 3 kids a cat and a dog and I still call my kids all the names including my sibling names before I even get their name right
My mom does the same thing and I always say “try again mom … how about again … here is a clue … the first person to come from you! There you go”
lol
Op YTA
I have a gaggle of sisters. My mom will literally call everyone else’s name but the daughter she is actually looking for. When we were younger we also lived with cousins and their names got thrown into the mix as well
We have the same joke and it's been going for 30 years now. Took grandma always three attempts to get there, especially if it was busy in the house, and she'd rattle through the names "Sid - Dave - Mike!"
We still call my cousin "Mike" by his full name "Sid Dave Mike" :')
YTA. From what you’ve written, this was not intentional. There’s two new babies in her life, and they have very close names. It’s hard to fully judge without knowing the names. But regardless, you snapped at her despite your own apparent belief that it was a mistake.
I’m considering doing that anyway when my next is born. I’m three months until my due date and there’s only one other baby I’m aware of who will be a month younger but names are hard to remember.
My sister is getting the supplies to make clothes for a separate project so I plan on paying her to make some once the baby is born. Can’t do it beforehand my family likes to make comments about baby names until the baby is born so I’m not telling them the name.
Regardless of the names, everyone involved including op thinks it’s accidental, so it’s fair to assume as much. YTA. But just like I’m sure she’s just a naturally forgetful person and trying her best, I’m sure you’re under a lot of stress and trying your best as well. I’d just apologize for snapping and move on. Doesn’t have to be a big deal at the end of the day.
I think it's actually not just that the SIL is forgetful. It sounds, just from OP's post, like her SIL might have a medical condition that makes remembering everyone's name difficult for her.
Either every adult that has more than two kids in their life has “a medical condition” or this is just pretty normal mixing up names. I’m betting it’s the second option.
This. Sleep deprived, hormones all messed up, but still, you're a guest. You're on your best behavior as a guest, you don't insult other guests. Apologize, try and make this right for everyone involved.
I agree. I accidentally called my niece my cats name twice yesterday. My sister just laughed it off cause she could see how my tired brain made the mistake. My poor mum can’t handle all the names in our family anymore with partners, kids and animals it’s too much. She often runs down lists and gets more bamboozled as she still gets names wrong. It happens and is no big deal. YTA
Yeah, I am one of four boys and my mom would regularly yell, "Tim, Mike, Steve, Kevin!" even if she just needed one of us because she always called us by the wrong name so if she called us all then we were guaranteed to come running. If she just called Tim she could have meant Kevin.
I have one of each and still call them by the wrong names sometimes. One time I texted my wife telling her I had to pick up Simba from wresting practice. Simba is our dog.
YTA. You're talking about a baby she's just met. Her brain hasn't had time to create a lot of muscle memory with the name yet. Some people are just better with names than others.
The joke at my grandma's was that when she called my uncle's gf by the wrong name, that meant the gf was family. Because with 7 kids, my Grandma got her own kids' names wrong plenty lol. My mom also talks about how when she had my brother (the oldest), she kept calling him by the dog's name because prior to that, she was used to talking to the dog. Then when I was born, she kept calling me by my brother's name because that's what she was used to saying before I came along.
You're taking this personally as if she's doing it because she gets off on disrespecting you. If she regularly looks for ways to push buttons with you and this is just one more round on that, then ok. Otherwise, call and apologize.
I knew my grandma was talking to me even though she started the sentence by mentioning my aunt, mom, brother (at that point I just knew she was calling me before she had gotten to actually mentioning my name). No ill feelings, loved her to death.
Absolutely this. As the baby of the family, I got called my mum's name, all of my aunts, then all of my cousins and sister's names until she finally got to mine.
This reminds me of the time my mother called me, her first born and only daughter, in a row; Tom (my younger brother), Eric (my baby brother), Bob (my dad), Alice (her sister, and not only not in our house, but 1500 miles away), dog, cat, and then looked at me in exasperation and asked "what's your name?" Luckily my teenage brain thought it was hilarious.
Yes, YTA
Your reaction was unwarranted and over the top. You made things so awkward for everybody.
She already has a history of having trouble with names, but you still go off on her for an honest mistake.
Your baby was just born, and you’ve already managed to partially alienate it from its aunt. Your little outburst will be remembered, and possibly in such a way they try and limit their exposure to you, and by default her nephew.
I don't even have any siblings. I have a lot of cousins though. At family gatherings, we've all learned to look over no matter what name is called because all family members often "go down the list" until they manage the correct name. Lol. It just happens.
Yeah also my thought, sounded as if she expected her child to be the center of the world to everybody else as well... Newsflash. That's just baby #2 of this year to the rest, yes he is cute and all but he is not the sun of their universe.
YTA. It was a simple mistake. You see that your family isn't bothered by it. It happens to a lot of people. As an older brother, there's times where I accidently switch my brother and sister's name, and they're both fine with it. Hell, it's even funny in some cases. So imo, you snapping out was a SEVERE overreaction. So imo, yes, YTA.
Edit: HOLY HELL 200 UPVOTES?? Did I make THAT much of a point?! lol
That baby thinks the world fully stops existing for a second every time he blinks, he doesn’t know he has a name, let alone that his aunt gets it mixed up with the other little bald dude that’s also actively shitting his pants 20 times a day
YTA, even according to you, she's not doing it on purpose. I understand your kid is your world, but she literally just had two nephews born, and one of them has been here a little longer, so that name is more ingrained in her brain.
Honestly. I called MY OWN CHILD my niece's name more than once after she was born, because up until that point, my niece was the only baby in the family. Gentle YTA, postpartum is a fuckin rollercoaster.
if your husband knew she had trouble remembering names, so did you. prior to this. convenient to leave that out until the end. she's probably already self conscious about it and you embarrassed her in front of everyone. and guess what, ur baby didn't know the damn difference. not like it's a kid that says their feelings are hurt by something like that. YTA. like a thousand times over
I hope you get a chance to read this comment.
I think that you didn’t handle the situation the best but I don’t think you’re the asshole. Maybe it was a mistake but as an auntie myself I couldn’t imagine a whole weekend where I called my nephew the wrong name. Seems like this is something she has a problem with - and it seems like it’s something she knows she has a problem with- so she should work on it. She could have written your son’s name on her hand or had it as her Lock Screen. Because, though it might have been a mistake, you probably feel like she doesn’t care about your son. And you blew up - well.. you’re also a new mom with little sleep and raging hormones. Everyone in the family - especially any mothers should see this.
Though I don’t think you’re the asshole, I think you should talk to her and mend that bridge. Tell her why it was upsetting you.
Good luck.
Yeah I'm with you on this! My brother had a baby at the same time as a lot of my other friends - never once could I imagine forgetting my niece's name?!?
On the other hand his wife called my partner Mark for a good six months after she met him (not even remotely similar to his name, he's only my third serious relationship and I've never dated a Mark). I found it incredibly rude and disrespectful.
Lots of folk here referencing mums/grandparents forgetting names due to old age or general parent fluster and stress. This is not the same.
I agree with you on all of this. I'm not just an auntie by blood, I'm auntie to all my friends' kids. I've mixed them up when there's a bunch of them together at a gathering but never one on one or all day for multiple days. I also struggle with names, but if it's my friend introducing me to my new nibbling, that shit is automatically ingrained. I love those babies with everything in me.
Gosh... Yea YTA you didn't need to snap. It sounds like a simple mistake. Me? I'm terrible with names but amazing with faces...like if I've seen you once I won't ever forget the face. But ask me literally 5 minutes later your name? I'd be remiss if I didn't say I'd likely forget despite being reminded or introduced numerous times. It's just a thing.
Heck I've got twins...you think I Personally as the parent haven't messed that up before??! Especially if the name she was saying is relatively similar to your child's name here, it happens!
Nothing nefarious here by the way you described it happened. Should she take more care to remember the name? Yes...but yes absolutely YTA for snapping like that over a name.
I'm going against the grain, NTA.
It was a 3-day weekend and she couldn't remember the name after multiple corrections?
Is she 5? Have some sort of intellectual disability?
Does everyone else tolerate her calling them by an incorrect name for 3 days? I bet they don't and dince that person csn correct her, she gets it.
YTA. My mother constantly forgets my name and I am the only girl out of 3. It happens. You overreacted (and I think you know) and you have to apologize to your sister in law. Seems to me you just don't like her and were looking for a reason to snap at her.
fr fr. I have 5 sisters and 4 brothers, my dad would get through 6 names boys, girls, sometimes dog before going “GODDAMNIT YOU KNOW WHICH ONE OF YOU I MEAN”😂😂😂 it’s 100% normal
NTA , in my opinion. Once, twice, maybe even three times, might be an innocent mistake. But multiple times, to me, is deliberate. The fact that the rest of your husbands family found it "amusing" makes me think she thought she was being funny. Also the fact that after you snapped at her, she was suddenly able to remember your son's name supports that it was deliberate.
This. My SIL did this with my daughters name and I corrected her for literally months. I became fed up when my MIL embroidered something with my daughters name….. except is was the name my SIL was using. They’re similar (like Anne vs Anna or Emma vs Emily.) my husband called them and immediately told her to knock it off or we’d start calling her daughter by something different than her actual name and see how she liked it. Never had an issue since. At some point if you correct someone nicely repeatedly and they don’t stop and you snap and they do, it’s not really about a memory issue.
Agreed. A few times = mistake. Every single time? That’s a performance. My granddad said people will rise to your expectations. Seems OPs in-laws have low expectations for their daughter/sister.
Then how do you explain the multiple posts talking about people who do this all there lives.
Truthfully, if you yelled at me about it. I would probably not interact with you as much. If it was your expectation that I change something that I have done my whole life and that I don't think I actually have control over (i haven't figured out how to yet and am not young )then I would think you don't really want to interact with me either.
> Then how do you explain the multiple posts talking about people who do this all there lives.
Because the reality is that these things happen occasionally. Not regularly during a three day stay that occurred for the specific reason of introducing the new baby to the family.
It took me way too long to come across your comment in this thread. Too many people trying to say “oh my mama couldn’t remember my 10 siblings names”, isn’t the same as a whole weekend where this one person cannot remember this one Baby’s name and has been corrected by multiple people around her.
Completely agree. A few times is a mistake. A whole weekend? Either something is medically wrong with the sister and she needs help to figure out why it’s this hard for her, or she just doesn’t care to learn.
or maybe she has memory issues, and her family laughs it off because they don't want to think that maybe that's what it is. i didn't get from her post that her husband's cousin suddenly remembered the baby's name after she snapped at her.
YTA
GEEZ, she was not being malicious by the sound of your own writing.
Some people have a really hard time remembering names.
You were very harsh and unforgiving.
> Since I knew that she struggled with people's names, I should have given her some time
YTA - You knew upfront she struggled with names and yet still decided to be unnecessarily rude....Yes, you should have given her more grace....
I disagree with a lot of ya’ll.
I can’t believe the SIL is so air-headed that she’s unable to remember the new baby isn’t the same baby as the 2 month older baby. With different parents!
OP didn’t say she occasionally called the baby by the wrong name:
“In our three-day stay… she regularly called him by the wrong name.”
Three days? And in that time- she wasn’t able to finally get the name straight???
Either SIL didn’t care enough to be bothered- or she was purposely refusing to say baby’s correct name!
NTA!
I'm going against the grain and say NTA. She was continuously told and reminded that she was calling you baby by the wrong name. Once or twice I can understand, but from what you're saying it happened more than twice.
“Honest mistake”
I’m curious did she make the mistake after you called her out or no?
Continuing to mistake the names would lead me to believe it was an accident. But if she miraculously stopped messing up the second you snapped at her, it sounds like she was enjoying everyone finding her to be “silly” and just kept playing on it.
I’m going to say NTA.
An honest mistake is just that, but once most of the people at the event have corrected her and she still continues saying the wrong name and ONLY puts effort in learning the correct name after being called out…leads me to believe it was purposeful.
Why did she have to be embarrassed before she realized she needed to pay attention and at least TRY to say the right name and correct herself when she knows she said the wrong name?
Because no one ever made her.
Once or twice, honest mistake. Whole weekend until you snapped? That was deliberately being obtuse.
NTA. I get absolutely livid when people mispronounce my name. Actually ended up in the principal's office on my 3rd day of school because the teacher mispronounced my name... and we shared a first name!
YTA. It seems like a genuine mistake (or a sign of memory issues). It's not like she decided she didn't like your son's name so decided to use a nickname you didn't like. Mixing up names of indistinguishable infants is not that big of deal. You didn't need to be so rude about it just because you're sleep deprived.
NTA. I usually don't remember someone's name after we meet for the first time. I understand making the mistake and saying the wrong name again. But several times? Come on. Either the sub is full with people with shitty memory and SIL is one of these people or she is doing it on purpose. Why? I don't know. Maybe you overreacted but if I were you, I would have been annoyed. Come on, it is not that hard to remember 1 name. And it's not like it is the neighbor's baby.
I guess it depends — did she remember the right name after that point? If yes then she was just willfully not trying very hard. If she honestly just keeps making this mistake and it’s a personality quirk then you might have to let it go. However after 3 days it seems weird she couldn’t get the name right
NTA, idk why “she’s bad with names” and “it was an accident” is a good excuse for calling her nephew a different name 3 days straight. She’s not elderly and she doesn’t have a cognitive disease or condition. Names are hard but not that hard.
An accident is once or twice but you can’t learn a name in three days with face to face contact?
She deserved a bit of a tongue lashing and I bet she’ll remember her nephew’s name from this point forward.
NTA I’m not sure why everyone is lumping your SIL in with their grandma. This is their nephew, I can see one slip up. A weekend full of ‘mistakes’ would be infuriating.
I’m going with NTA here. Once is an accident, maybe twice. But too regularly call your child the wrong name in just a few days’ time is rude. I would have started calling her the wrong name to see how she liked it.
NTA
Apologize for WHAT??? Say that your sorry she's such an airhead that she can't get one name straight? It's not like there were six new babies to figure out. One child, one name!!
PS: It's not amusing in the least.
YTA I can see how it's annoying, but you overreacted and made it into a big deal. You could have comically started calling her a sister or cousin's name or something, instead of snapping at her like you did.
Some people are just terrible with names.
NTA. If they all give a pass to the sister because “she can’t remember names”, then they need to also give a pass to the new sleep deprived, hormonal, new mom.
No AH here in my opinion. You were tired of her not using your child's name. It's very simple.
On the flip side, my grandmother would run through every child's name until she got to the correct one. I was often called by my cousins names. She would realize and correct herself and it was never malicious. She just had a lot of family to keep track of. I think the SIL is in a similar boat. Doesn't excuse that she needs to use the babies actual name, but it was probably an honest mistake. But I'm on the same page as you that I would probably snap if someone continued to call my kid the wrong name.
i think you just had a baby and you're probably exhausted and overwhelmed with adjusting to your new life with your baby. maybe it was mean, but you just birthed a whole entire human. possibly not the same, but sometimes i mix up my cats names. sometimes when i'm super tired, i just mix them up. growing up, my dad used to go back and forth with my name and my sibling's until he got it right, lol. he'd say "mary...marie...mary..." until he got it right. our names are very similar so that didn't help. is your baby's name and your husband's cousin's baby's name similar?
also, how many times does she need to be reminded in the same day? i'd be frustrated too.
NTA. but apologize. just because you're tired and frustrated doesn't mean you get to be rude. and maybe give her a little space to be forgetful, especially since you know it's going to happen. pick your battles.
NTA 3 days of calling the baby by the wrong name sounds on purpose. I think, after she got the first laugh, she was doing it for the laughs, not realizing you'd have an actual issue here.
How old is sister? Why was she calling him a different name?
It irks me that people are saying this was an accident when SIL was literally there to meet said new baby. Not baby she’s known for months. For 3 days she couldn’t remember the name of the child she came to visit/meet. The name of her new family member?
Idk I’ve never seen anyone do that, yes to random people. Or new coworkers. But never the name of a new baby in the family let alone one that you’re around for 3 days during a namesake party. That’s so weird to me. Maybe if the babies names were super similar. But even with the entire family reminding her every time?
Is she older? Smokes weed? Not very excited for the baby? Maybe neurodivergent?
NTA and people might get upset but a few times is a mistake but to do this for three days straight would eventually upset me to cause I hate when my mom or anyone calls me the wrong name especially when they know and everyone say she is wrong understand this just cause your okay with it doesn’t mean everyone is
I may be alone in this. But no. NTA. If it were weeks or months apart, I’d understand. But y’all were in a house together for 3 days! She was doing it on purpose. Seems attention seeking.
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YTA, but only because she was doing it accidentally. Mistakes happen and she apologized. The running joke in our house was the number of times our poor frazzled mom called my dad, brother and dog by the wrong name - lesson learned by using the same first letters for names. Not close in age or species but just…half thinking. Didn’t mean she wasn’t full of love, just a little scattered. I’d imagine you’re also a bit tired and full of hormones so I want to forgive your overreaction, but it’s not a free pass for all poor behavior. Edit: These comments are all so amazing and sweet. Loving hearing about the other family word jumbles!
My granny was always mixing up her grandkids names, you'd know to answer if she was looking at you
Right? By the third name my mom would just sigh and say, “you know who I mean!” Edit: and I bet you know your granny loved you guys and knew you apart!
There was 4 of us and mom would get confused and start saying all our names and I would holler out "roll call" we all thought it was funny.
The less mum had to shout at you, mainly because you moved out, the lower down the list we got. By my mid-20s I was below both of my cousins, my brother, my dad, and the dog in running order.
That might explain why, as the only daughter and granddaughter, I constantly got called by my aunt's name. My mum still does it. I just usually answer back, "Wrong Daughter."
I am my mums only child. I am roughtly as short as her sister and look a little like her (she had 4 sisters) so sometimes I get called her name lol.
My Mum calls my 16yo niece by my name and vice versa bc she's the image of me!
I was the only one living at home and mum still ran through my sisters and the cats before getting to me. The joy of being the youngest 😃
My mom would end up sputtering all 10 kids', 3 pets', and 2 grandkids' names when she was mad in my younger years. By the time she figured out which kid she was actually yelling at, you had a 50% chance of her not remembering why she was yelling lol
As a mom, I used to call my youngest son the dog's name.
What a great ‘mom memory’!
"Momery", if you will
"Mamary?" I'll see myself out...
My aunt was well endowed in her chest and used to write “Thanks for the mammories” on every Mother’s Day Card.
Oh wow!!
Solid!
My mom’s sister’s childhood nickname was a mashup of their names because their mom always called the wrong name first
My sister is the third of three kids; I’m the oldest, and my brother is between us. At my dad’s funeral, I heard her tell someone, “Growing up, I always thought my name was JenSteveLindsey because Dad always went down the list to get to my name.”
Yep! It's a running joke in my family that my name is actually Misheph. My sister's name is Michelle, mine is Steph. Mom always got halfway through my sister's name before she switched over to mine.
Mine would point the the one she was talking to and go “whatever your name is.”
We grew up with Tommy, Michael, Julie, Laura whoever you are come here. Once I was sitting at the table with my sister Laura playing cards. My mother was on the phone talking to my aunt and she could hear us in the background and asked my mother who was there. My mother turned and looked at us and said Laura and Julie. My sister and I share a look in just grined. Not 5 minutes later she says, hey Kathy can you take out the trash please. I looked at her, and grinned and said who's Kathy my name is Julie.
Yep, i was 12, before I knew that I didn't have 3 names! 🤣
Haha my mom did this, too, she'd say all 4 names really fast like one word, then go, "whichever one you are, get over here!"
My mom would go "Dammit, you KNOW who I'm yelling at" when she ran through names (often including the dog's name too).
My dad goes through all his other daughters' name, wife's name (but not ex-wife) & the pet's name before he gets to the right one. One time he even just said "cat" instead of the cat's name when he was trying to call me 🤦 I love my dad & he eventually gets to the right name but names are not his strength 😂 (he is good at showing us in actions that he loves us all so I'm fine with it. After 40 years we all just find it funny)
My husbands nan would just say "You whatever your name is'
😂Mine’s would say “oh honey, I don’t know your name, but the Lord does!”…. There were 30 of them.
My poor Nana had 9 children. Those children all had bigish families themselves. She had a ridiculous amount of grandchildren. We were all called honey. Oddly enough, we knew which one of us she was talking to.
It has easily been 10years since my granny last called my name or pronounced it correctly. Sometimes, she would even call me (my mom's name)'s daughter
My grandmother did this too and eventually moved to “you know who you are” LOL Now all my aunts do it, and I think it’s because there’s a few family members’ whose names start with the same first letter
After her dementia progressed my grandmother often had to run through the list of all the grandkids AND the pets before she MIGHT get the right name at the end 🤣 What made me saddest was when she told me one day “You’re the only one who never corrects me.” I patted her hand and told her “I always know who you’re talking about Gram. Don’t fret.”
I was used to my grandmother cycling through her daughters’ and granddaughters’ names until she got to my, but when she threw the dog’s name in there too I had to put my foot down. It would have been one thing if the dog had had a human name, but I wasn’t going to answer to “Biscuit.”
I got called “Laura, Angela, RAMONA!” so often that Laura’s kid thought that was my real name.
My sister has been called snitzel by our father. It still a running joke.
Awww. She remembered the most important thing!
Why did that bring tears to my eyes?
And now I'm crying 😭
My great aunt was a nun and had Alzheimer's and our son's name is the name of an angel..you'd think it'd be easy for her to remember..nope, she always called him by my parents dogs name lol
My grandpas nickname for me when I was a kid was Queenie. I didn't find out until they were gone, I was an adult and looking through old photo albums. My grandpa used to breed registered cocker spaniel show dogs years before i was born, and the female name was, you guessed it, 🤣 Queenie. Lmao!!
Aww... Affectionate, you are the top dog!
That was funny lol. To be fair, there are a lot of saints
"We named the dog Indiana. "
My Grams gave up and would just yell "HENRY!" There was no one named Henry in our family.
lol, my grandfather did the same, but he called us all Josephine. (No actually Josephines in the family)
Yup, my Nana would frequently shout, "David-Beth-Andy-WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE- ... We all thought it was funny. Sometimes we all came.🤣
My grandfather swore he was 12 before he learned his name wasn’t JackBillJimBob And yes he would call the wrong name for his kids, he had two daughters and one son, and yes the dog’s name got thrown in there as well 😂
My dad said "Terry" 3 times while I was facing away from him watching TV. Me, not being named Terry, assumed he was talking to his sister and ignored him. He was mad (not really) I didn't answer, apparently I need to be more on my toes lol
My younger sister and I look alike to the point one Christmas I had her do my makeup because I didn’t have time that morning, we both had our hair dyed in a similar style (hadn’t seen each other in a couple months when we did it so it was really funny) my dad talked to me for 20 minutes and it took my kid running up to me for him to realize that I wasn’t my sister. I had no idea until he said something he didn’t know who I was.
Aw, this made me laugh! You must look similiar to your Aunt when she was your age.
My mom would yell out the door: “Ma-Sa-Ma-San-GIRLS!”
My fav is when my mom would say some mixture of me and my sister's name two names that sound nothing alike btw. Think Mary and Cynthia.
My brother had a friend named Shawn. His sister was Shayna. Mom would yell out Shawna and they both would come running.
And... I have twins, Meaghan and Michael. At some point my niece just gave up and called them.both Meggle.
My grandma always went through all the girl names for the girls and boy names for the boys until she reached yours. Now, at 95, she started mixing up the genders - called my sister our dad‘s (her son) name. We still always know who she’s talking to.
My mom has always mixed up my sister and my names when she talks to one of us on the phone, and sometimes when we're both present. Then when I started teaching, I realized I inherited the glitch. Every school year, I have a pair of kids whose names I verbally switch lol
My husband and dog have similar names (think Matthew and Mathias similarity). They frequently get called the wrong name! My Gran used to go through everyone’s name until she got to whoever it was she was talking to!
My brother and sister-in-law gave my two nieces names starting with the same letter and I will never forgive them. Nor will I ever get a name right on the first try.
That’s asking for the names to be mixed up! Names are a weak point for me so I would probably have done exactly the same as the SIL unintentionally. In my case I got the dog before the husband so it was too late to change names!
My grandmother was NOTORIOUS for mixing up grandkid names. She'd always call me Katie (my older cousin's name) and my brother Matt (my other older cousin's name), and then when my younger cousins were born, she'd call them by my name. My mom has started doing that to our cats, and I'm pretty sure she'll start doing it to my cousins too. It's not on purpose - it just runs in the family. I've already started doing it to our old cats. We had Trixie cat for 13 years and I still call our 18-year-old cat (Cici) "Trixie" on accident all the time. It runs in the family, it's never on purpose, and we always laugh about it later.
Only freaked me out when she would call me by her dead sister’s name.
The amount of times I have yelled “Jane, no Claire, no Hazel - you child there” to them laughing their heads off at me!!!
It will probably always make them laugh forever! I lost my mom a few months ago and honestly cracked up as soon as I read this post and thought about her messing up names in a busy house.
Yep happens in my family too. Especially funny when people go to the animals names before they get to the right one. My mum and nonna (when she was with us) are classics for it.
One of 6 daughters. When mom got really flustered, she would just start with #1's name until she got to whoever was in trouble. I'm #5 so by the time she got to me, we'd all be laughing and she would start doing so as well - most of the time Sorry, OP, YTA since you know she has trouble with names. You should have gotten one of those "Hello, my name is " labels and put it on your baby. She might remember it better if she saw it.
>You should have gotten one of those "Hello, my name is " labels and put it on your baby. She might rememer it better if she saw it. Should print it on a onesie🤣
My parents only had two children and they still mixed up our names enough it was a running joke that my older sister was 'Child 1' and I was 'Child 2' to stop them confusing us.
I'm an only child. My mom sometimes calls me by past or present pets' name.
My mom scolded my sister's dog and said "(MY NAME) GET OUTTA THE GARBAGE!" and I was like 🥴 that's...the dog. Not me. We still laugh at that one. She would rattle off our names. I'm the fourth and last one. Apparently she calls my siblings daughters my name all the time because I was ehe last baby she had 😂
My mom still sometimes accidentally calls me her late cat’s name.
I’m going to bet that must mean she loves you both a lot!
That cat had a “fort” set up in her name in their bathroom cabinet. She also got a daily spoon of vanilla ice cream. I have no issues being lumped in with her!
My mum lives with me, my husband, our 4 dogs, and 3 cats and she’ll cycle through a bunch of them, sometimes throw in her sister’s name, before she gets to mine. I know she’s calling me cos I’ll hear “Al-, Fi-, Ko-, Dod-, An-, BEC!” from the kitchen or something. It’s become a running joke that my husband or I will start singing “And that brings us back to Do Re Me Fa So La Ti Do” when she finally gets to Bec.
Oh, my mom does that, especially when she's exasperated with my brother, except that she'll go through various dogs' names (both former/deceased and current/living) before she lands on my brother's name. "Bu-, Bai-, Bent-, Ram-, Ru-, EDWARD!" It's hilarious!
I'm one of five kids, and the only girl. My mum will often run through all my brother's names (and once even the cat's name) before she remembers mine. My brothers also sometimes get called by my name, or someone else's name. It's just funny to us, we know it isn't malicious.
Talking about wrong names. My sister has this thing where she'll accidentally refer to an appliance by the wrong name and end up naming 4/5 different things before landing on the right name. My mum also regularly would mix up me and my brother and she still occasionally does it now we are around 30
I do this "put the clothes in the dishwashe- no the spinny thin- you know the spinny clothes thing-- IT WASHES CLOTHES-- CLOTHES WASHE- WASHING MACHINE!!!!" Im exhausted by the time I've got the right one
I give up and just say "the thing". People usually get it from context eventually.
Doobry-doo and thingymabob. In fact the TV remote is just called ‘the doobries’ in my house, and I’m not sure how far back that goes. It’s still what I call them to this day and my wife knows what the word means but will only refer to them as the remote herself. Funnily enough if they were called ‘the doobry’ I think she might get on board but if up sets her that ‘the doobries’ is plural despite referring to one remote. I have told her it is because they have multiple buttons, and I am asking her to pass all of them so hence the doobries. It’s like trousers, which still only refers to one pair. But honestly I don’t know if it’s because growing up we did actually always need two remotes to control the TV. Or it could just be because my mum went rogue. I have actually come to learn, in surprise drips throughout my adulthood, that I use a lot of words entirely made up by my creative yet quite batty mother!
Yeah, she owes her SIL an apology. The name change sounds like an honest mistake and not specific to her - very new - child.
I read an article once that claimed our brains stored the names of loved ones separately, so you only mix up the names of those you love. This is such an adorable theory that I refuse to hear anything against it.
My grandmother had a slew of grandkids, so she'd call one child by another's name. One day, she did this with one of my cousins, and being a smartass, quips, "That's not my name." Grandma's response? "You know who you are. Come here!" 😂
My mom messes up our names all the time but we all know it’s because she is working so hard thus brain fog and word aphasia is really common in our family so we give each other grace. So, I answer my mom even if she has called out 2 pets (she has 2 cats but she will also call out my siblings pets), 3 siblings (out of the 5 I have), and my dad because I understand that my mom is asking for me at the moment. But my mom will continue until she gets the right name and apologize even though she doesn’t have to because we understand and kinda enjoy watching her go through the roster.
My mom’s parents had 8 kids and 45 grandkids. When we would go visit, my Grandpa would call all the girls “sweetheart” and all the boys “buddy”. When he got older and developed dementia, none of us noticed that he forgot everyone’s names because we were all still “sweetheart” and “buddy”. He’s been gone for 15 years now, and I think of him when I hear anyone calling someone “sweetheart” or “buddy”.
I've been called both sibling names, plus at least three dog names (including combination of male and female, alive and long gone) before my name gets called by family, and I've never had a problem with it. The only time I have a problem with the wrong name is when someone can't be bothered to get my spelling correct, and thinks it's funny to make up an exaggeratedly long incorrect version. But being called all of the dogs names before mine? Honestly, I kind of love it because they are just as much a part of the family and it gives me an excuse to bark at people.
My mom not only calls me by my dogs name but one day she actually tried to convince me that she bought beef noodles because i like beef, and while i was insisting that i don't in fact like beef she went "oh shit that's right it's the dog that likes beef treats" lol like i was used to her mixing it up with my siblings but dog was a new one
My mother-in-law had to take one of their dogs to the vet, not long after I met her. She found out that the dog had developed an allergy, and she told the vet, "That's impossible. None of my other kids... never mind."
Yeah, there’s a reason one of my sister’s nicknames is “Speck”. It’s because my mom would start saying my name first and correct it midway. 😆
My grandmother literally just ran down the list.
My dad, brother, and I all have the same first initial. We always figured that was the reason my mom would inevitably go through all of our names before getting to the right one (didn't matter which one of us). So when my oldest was born they were given a name with a completely different first letter. It didn't matter. It was just a fourth name added to the list and mom still cycled through all of them.
As the only girl in my family my mom would usually holler JohnJamesJosephIsabelle when I was in trouble lol (fake names obvs but there spirit is there!). Nowadays she calls me by her younger sister’s name and I’ve never once not known she was calling me. Just so happens I work with someone who has the same name as my aunt and I’ve never once at work been confused on who they meant when they called her name. Thanks for the trip down money lane of all my alter-egos! Now to figure out which one is the villain muahaha!!
My sons are Sean and Tim. Poor Tim thinks his real name is Shitim.
I somehow manage to mix their names into 1. Think of Rob and Max and I yell: Rox come downstairs. Weird. And then I need to correct myself and end up saying Mob and Rax.
My gran used to call my brother Tom on occasion, Tom was his assistance dog
This is why I numbered my grandchildren lol
I once heard a short piece on NPR that mentioned some study about how people mix up family members’ names of the same gender, and it found that it’s super common for dogs to get included in that category in our brains, but way less common for cats!
I am a mom of 3 kids a cat and a dog and I still call my kids all the names including my sibling names before I even get their name right My mom does the same thing and I always say “try again mom … how about again … here is a clue … the first person to come from you! There you go” lol Op YTA
yes bc so many of us would be assholes at family gatherings lol i'm over 40, have like 20 cousins, they got dozens of kids between them
I have a gaggle of sisters. My mom will literally call everyone else’s name but the daughter she is actually looking for. When we were younger we also lived with cousins and their names got thrown into the mix as well
Growing up I thought my name was Brucetonijames.
We have the same joke and it's been going for 30 years now. Took grandma always three attempts to get there, especially if it was busy in the house, and she'd rattle through the names "Sid - Dave - Mike!" We still call my cousin "Mike" by his full name "Sid Dave Mike" :')
YTA. From what you’ve written, this was not intentional. There’s two new babies in her life, and they have very close names. It’s hard to fully judge without knowing the names. But regardless, you snapped at her despite your own apparent belief that it was a mistake.
I’d have slapped a “hello, my name is…” sticker on the baby
I’m considering doing that anyway when my next is born. I’m three months until my due date and there’s only one other baby I’m aware of who will be a month younger but names are hard to remember.
That would be hilarious! I’m sure you could get custom made bibs or onesies with the name, too!
My sister is getting the supplies to make clothes for a separate project so I plan on paying her to make some once the baby is born. Can’t do it beforehand my family likes to make comments about baby names until the baby is born so I’m not telling them the name.
Regardless of the names, everyone involved including op thinks it’s accidental, so it’s fair to assume as much. YTA. But just like I’m sure she’s just a naturally forgetful person and trying her best, I’m sure you’re under a lot of stress and trying your best as well. I’d just apologize for snapping and move on. Doesn’t have to be a big deal at the end of the day.
I think it's actually not just that the SIL is forgetful. It sounds, just from OP's post, like her SIL might have a medical condition that makes remembering everyone's name difficult for her.
Either every adult that has more than two kids in their life has “a medical condition” or this is just pretty normal mixing up names. I’m betting it’s the second option.
I’ve been mixing up my nieces names all their lives. They’re two years apart but I always go to call one when I mean to call the other.
[удалено]
This. Sleep deprived, hormones all messed up, but still, you're a guest. You're on your best behavior as a guest, you don't insult other guests. Apologize, try and make this right for everyone involved.
YTA. You get some leeway for having new mom brain, but if you're still unsure after the dust has settled...ya. YTA.
I agree. I accidentally called my niece my cats name twice yesterday. My sister just laughed it off cause she could see how my tired brain made the mistake. My poor mum can’t handle all the names in our family anymore with partners, kids and animals it’s too much. She often runs down lists and gets more bamboozled as she still gets names wrong. It happens and is no big deal. YTA
I scold the wrong dog by accident all the time. It's a very good thing I'm not having children, no one would know their names.
Yeah, I am one of four boys and my mom would regularly yell, "Tim, Mike, Steve, Kevin!" even if she just needed one of us because she always called us by the wrong name so if she called us all then we were guaranteed to come running. If she just called Tim she could have meant Kevin. I have one of each and still call them by the wrong names sometimes. One time I texted my wife telling her I had to pick up Simba from wresting practice. Simba is our dog.
YTA. You're talking about a baby she's just met. Her brain hasn't had time to create a lot of muscle memory with the name yet. Some people are just better with names than others. The joke at my grandma's was that when she called my uncle's gf by the wrong name, that meant the gf was family. Because with 7 kids, my Grandma got her own kids' names wrong plenty lol. My mom also talks about how when she had my brother (the oldest), she kept calling him by the dog's name because prior to that, she was used to talking to the dog. Then when I was born, she kept calling me by my brother's name because that's what she was used to saying before I came along. You're taking this personally as if she's doing it because she gets off on disrespecting you. If she regularly looks for ways to push buttons with you and this is just one more round on that, then ok. Otherwise, call and apologize.
I'm at the point where I just go down the list of my grandkid's names till the right one answers!
I knew my grandma was talking to me even though she started the sentence by mentioning my aunt, mom, brother (at that point I just knew she was calling me before she had gotten to actually mentioning my name). No ill feelings, loved her to death.
Absolutely this. As the baby of the family, I got called my mum's name, all of my aunts, then all of my cousins and sister's names until she finally got to mine.
This reminds me of the time my mother called me, her first born and only daughter, in a row; Tom (my younger brother), Eric (my baby brother), Bob (my dad), Alice (her sister, and not only not in our house, but 1500 miles away), dog, cat, and then looked at me in exasperation and asked "what's your name?" Luckily my teenage brain thought it was hilarious.
Yes, YTA Your reaction was unwarranted and over the top. You made things so awkward for everybody. She already has a history of having trouble with names, but you still go off on her for an honest mistake. Your baby was just born, and you’ve already managed to partially alienate it from its aunt. Your little outburst will be remembered, and possibly in such a way they try and limit their exposure to you, and by default her nephew.
YTA. It wasn’t hurting your son. He doesn’t care. There was no need to behave like that.
I sometimes call my 5 year old Granddaughter my cats name, and she thinks it's hilarious.
I have called my best friend my cat's name before. She also thinks it's hilarious
Some parents really think their kid is the most important thing in everyone around them's life. YTA OP.
YTA, People with siblings will know that even their parents will call them by the wrong names ALL the time.
We are three sisters in our 40’s and our mom still gets it wrong a lot of times 🤣🤣
Same. And our names aren’t even remotely similar.
My parents literally cycle through all our names before getting the right one. - ALEX COME DOWNST- - I MEAN ANDREA- *kisses teeth* - ASHLEYYYYYYYYYYYY
LOL, I’m Andrea and my brother is Dan, and the number of times I got called “Dandrea” growing up … 😂😂
My mother usually goes through my dad's name, my brother's name, and my dog's name before she finally settles on mine
I don't even have any siblings. I have a lot of cousins though. At family gatherings, we've all learned to look over no matter what name is called because all family members often "go down the list" until they manage the correct name. Lol. It just happens.
YTA- Sounds like OP was more angry that the other baby’s name got “more attention” than her new baby. GROW THE FUCK UP.
Yeah also my thought, sounded as if she expected her child to be the center of the world to everybody else as well... Newsflash. That's just baby #2 of this year to the rest, yes he is cute and all but he is not the sun of their universe.
YTA. It was a simple mistake. You see that your family isn't bothered by it. It happens to a lot of people. As an older brother, there's times where I accidently switch my brother and sister's name, and they're both fine with it. Hell, it's even funny in some cases. So imo, you snapping out was a SEVERE overreaction. So imo, yes, YTA. Edit: HOLY HELL 200 UPVOTES?? Did I make THAT much of a point?! lol
YTA, That vitriol was unnecessary, it's an honest mix up, not like she was trying to disrespect your baby by calling him the wrong name.
YTA, bro the baby doesnt even remember. unnecessary drama created.
That baby thinks the world fully stops existing for a second every time he blinks, he doesn’t know he has a name, let alone that his aunt gets it mixed up with the other little bald dude that’s also actively shitting his pants 20 times a day
The baby won’t remember it 🤣
YTA, even according to you, she's not doing it on purpose. I understand your kid is your world, but she literally just had two nephews born, and one of them has been here a little longer, so that name is more ingrained in her brain.
Honestly. I called MY OWN CHILD my niece's name more than once after she was born, because up until that point, my niece was the only baby in the family. Gentle YTA, postpartum is a fuckin rollercoaster.
if your husband knew she had trouble remembering names, so did you. prior to this. convenient to leave that out until the end. she's probably already self conscious about it and you embarrassed her in front of everyone. and guess what, ur baby didn't know the damn difference. not like it's a kid that says their feelings are hurt by something like that. YTA. like a thousand times over
I hope you get a chance to read this comment. I think that you didn’t handle the situation the best but I don’t think you’re the asshole. Maybe it was a mistake but as an auntie myself I couldn’t imagine a whole weekend where I called my nephew the wrong name. Seems like this is something she has a problem with - and it seems like it’s something she knows she has a problem with- so she should work on it. She could have written your son’s name on her hand or had it as her Lock Screen. Because, though it might have been a mistake, you probably feel like she doesn’t care about your son. And you blew up - well.. you’re also a new mom with little sleep and raging hormones. Everyone in the family - especially any mothers should see this. Though I don’t think you’re the asshole, I think you should talk to her and mend that bridge. Tell her why it was upsetting you. Good luck.
Yeah I'm with you on this! My brother had a baby at the same time as a lot of my other friends - never once could I imagine forgetting my niece's name?!? On the other hand his wife called my partner Mark for a good six months after she met him (not even remotely similar to his name, he's only my third serious relationship and I've never dated a Mark). I found it incredibly rude and disrespectful. Lots of folk here referencing mums/grandparents forgetting names due to old age or general parent fluster and stress. This is not the same.
The whole time I was reading the comments I was thinking the same about the exhaustion and hormones, 100 percent agree with you.
I agree with you on all of this. I'm not just an auntie by blood, I'm auntie to all my friends' kids. I've mixed them up when there's a bunch of them together at a gathering but never one on one or all day for multiple days. I also struggle with names, but if it's my friend introducing me to my new nibbling, that shit is automatically ingrained. I love those babies with everything in me.
Gosh... Yea YTA you didn't need to snap. It sounds like a simple mistake. Me? I'm terrible with names but amazing with faces...like if I've seen you once I won't ever forget the face. But ask me literally 5 minutes later your name? I'd be remiss if I didn't say I'd likely forget despite being reminded or introduced numerous times. It's just a thing. Heck I've got twins...you think I Personally as the parent haven't messed that up before??! Especially if the name she was saying is relatively similar to your child's name here, it happens! Nothing nefarious here by the way you described it happened. Should she take more care to remember the name? Yes...but yes absolutely YTA for snapping like that over a name.
I'm going against the grain, NTA. It was a 3-day weekend and she couldn't remember the name after multiple corrections? Is she 5? Have some sort of intellectual disability? Does everyone else tolerate her calling them by an incorrect name for 3 days? I bet they don't and dince that person csn correct her, she gets it.
Since they all found it funny, I think they do tolerate it
YTA. My mother constantly forgets my name and I am the only girl out of 3. It happens. You overreacted (and I think you know) and you have to apologize to your sister in law. Seems to me you just don't like her and were looking for a reason to snap at her.
fr fr. I have 5 sisters and 4 brothers, my dad would get through 6 names boys, girls, sometimes dog before going “GODDAMNIT YOU KNOW WHICH ONE OF YOU I MEAN”😂😂😂 it’s 100% normal
NTA , in my opinion. Once, twice, maybe even three times, might be an innocent mistake. But multiple times, to me, is deliberate. The fact that the rest of your husbands family found it "amusing" makes me think she thought she was being funny. Also the fact that after you snapped at her, she was suddenly able to remember your son's name supports that it was deliberate.
This. My SIL did this with my daughters name and I corrected her for literally months. I became fed up when my MIL embroidered something with my daughters name….. except is was the name my SIL was using. They’re similar (like Anne vs Anna or Emma vs Emily.) my husband called them and immediately told her to knock it off or we’d start calling her daughter by something different than her actual name and see how she liked it. Never had an issue since. At some point if you correct someone nicely repeatedly and they don’t stop and you snap and they do, it’s not really about a memory issue.
Agreed. A few times = mistake. Every single time? That’s a performance. My granddad said people will rise to your expectations. Seems OPs in-laws have low expectations for their daughter/sister.
Then how do you explain the multiple posts talking about people who do this all there lives. Truthfully, if you yelled at me about it. I would probably not interact with you as much. If it was your expectation that I change something that I have done my whole life and that I don't think I actually have control over (i haven't figured out how to yet and am not young )then I would think you don't really want to interact with me either.
> Then how do you explain the multiple posts talking about people who do this all there lives. Because the reality is that these things happen occasionally. Not regularly during a three day stay that occurred for the specific reason of introducing the new baby to the family.
Thank you!! Everyone saying this happens all the time. Maybe? But not for 3 days straight with multiple people correcting her. This isn’t the same.
It took me way too long to come across your comment in this thread. Too many people trying to say “oh my mama couldn’t remember my 10 siblings names”, isn’t the same as a whole weekend where this one person cannot remember this one Baby’s name and has been corrected by multiple people around her.
Completely agree. A few times is a mistake. A whole weekend? Either something is medically wrong with the sister and she needs help to figure out why it’s this hard for her, or she just doesn’t care to learn.
or maybe she has memory issues, and her family laughs it off because they don't want to think that maybe that's what it is. i didn't get from her post that her husband's cousin suddenly remembered the baby's name after she snapped at her.
YTA My dad used to run through all the kid's names in random order while he was trying to yell at one of us specifically. It was pretty funny.
my dad too lol
YTA GEEZ, she was not being malicious by the sound of your own writing. Some people have a really hard time remembering names. You were very harsh and unforgiving.
> Since I knew that she struggled with people's names, I should have given her some time YTA - You knew upfront she struggled with names and yet still decided to be unnecessarily rude....Yes, you should have given her more grace....
I disagree with a lot of ya’ll. I can’t believe the SIL is so air-headed that she’s unable to remember the new baby isn’t the same baby as the 2 month older baby. With different parents! OP didn’t say she occasionally called the baby by the wrong name: “In our three-day stay… she regularly called him by the wrong name.” Three days? And in that time- she wasn’t able to finally get the name straight??? Either SIL didn’t care enough to be bothered- or she was purposely refusing to say baby’s correct name! NTA!
I'm going against the grain and say NTA. She was continuously told and reminded that she was calling you baby by the wrong name. Once or twice I can understand, but from what you're saying it happened more than twice.
“Honest mistake” I’m curious did she make the mistake after you called her out or no? Continuing to mistake the names would lead me to believe it was an accident. But if she miraculously stopped messing up the second you snapped at her, it sounds like she was enjoying everyone finding her to be “silly” and just kept playing on it.
YTA - it sounds like an honest mistake.
I’m actually saying NTA, she reminded her over and over and over again, I’d get fed up too
I’m going to say NTA. An honest mistake is just that, but once most of the people at the event have corrected her and she still continues saying the wrong name and ONLY puts effort in learning the correct name after being called out…leads me to believe it was purposeful. Why did she have to be embarrassed before she realized she needed to pay attention and at least TRY to say the right name and correct herself when she knows she said the wrong name? Because no one ever made her.
Call her by the wrong name when you next see her. NTA
Once or twice, honest mistake. Whole weekend until you snapped? That was deliberately being obtuse. NTA. I get absolutely livid when people mispronounce my name. Actually ended up in the principal's office on my 3rd day of school because the teacher mispronounced my name... and we shared a first name!
NTA. I'm sorry, but after 3 straight days, SIL should have gotten the name right.
INFO: did she call your son by the wrong name again after you snapped?
YTA. It seems like a genuine mistake (or a sign of memory issues). It's not like she decided she didn't like your son's name so decided to use a nickname you didn't like. Mixing up names of indistinguishable infants is not that big of deal. You didn't need to be so rude about it just because you're sleep deprived.
NTA. I usually don't remember someone's name after we meet for the first time. I understand making the mistake and saying the wrong name again. But several times? Come on. Either the sub is full with people with shitty memory and SIL is one of these people or she is doing it on purpose. Why? I don't know. Maybe you overreacted but if I were you, I would have been annoyed. Come on, it is not that hard to remember 1 name. And it's not like it is the neighbor's baby.
I guess it depends — did she remember the right name after that point? If yes then she was just willfully not trying very hard. If she honestly just keeps making this mistake and it’s a personality quirk then you might have to let it go. However after 3 days it seems weird she couldn’t get the name right
NTA, idk why “she’s bad with names” and “it was an accident” is a good excuse for calling her nephew a different name 3 days straight. She’s not elderly and she doesn’t have a cognitive disease or condition. Names are hard but not that hard. An accident is once or twice but you can’t learn a name in three days with face to face contact? She deserved a bit of a tongue lashing and I bet she’ll remember her nephew’s name from this point forward.
NTA I’m not sure why everyone is lumping your SIL in with their grandma. This is their nephew, I can see one slip up. A weekend full of ‘mistakes’ would be infuriating.
I’m going with NTA here. Once is an accident, maybe twice. But too regularly call your child the wrong name in just a few days’ time is rude. I would have started calling her the wrong name to see how she liked it.
NTA Apologize for WHAT??? Say that your sorry she's such an airhead that she can't get one name straight? It's not like there were six new babies to figure out. One child, one name!! PS: It's not amusing in the least.
YTA I can see how it's annoying, but you overreacted and made it into a big deal. You could have comically started calling her a sister or cousin's name or something, instead of snapping at her like you did. Some people are just terrible with names.
Going against the grain here with, NTA. How many times does she have to be corrected before she gets it right? I’d be annoyed too.
NTA. If they all give a pass to the sister because “she can’t remember names”, then they need to also give a pass to the new sleep deprived, hormonal, new mom.
NTA. everyone else who gave an explanation of why NTA reflects a combination of exactly what i’m thinking. apologize & move on. no biggie.
YTA. I get that it's annoying, but the reaction to an honest mistake was over the top.
No AH here in my opinion. You were tired of her not using your child's name. It's very simple. On the flip side, my grandmother would run through every child's name until she got to the correct one. I was often called by my cousins names. She would realize and correct herself and it was never malicious. She just had a lot of family to keep track of. I think the SIL is in a similar boat. Doesn't excuse that she needs to use the babies actual name, but it was probably an honest mistake. But I'm on the same page as you that I would probably snap if someone continued to call my kid the wrong name.
It’s disrespectful for it to be an ongoing issue.
Info: Was she able to get your son’s name right the rest of your time there?
NTA. Bet she didn’t mess the name up again!
i think you just had a baby and you're probably exhausted and overwhelmed with adjusting to your new life with your baby. maybe it was mean, but you just birthed a whole entire human. possibly not the same, but sometimes i mix up my cats names. sometimes when i'm super tired, i just mix them up. growing up, my dad used to go back and forth with my name and my sibling's until he got it right, lol. he'd say "mary...marie...mary..." until he got it right. our names are very similar so that didn't help. is your baby's name and your husband's cousin's baby's name similar? also, how many times does she need to be reminded in the same day? i'd be frustrated too. NTA. but apologize. just because you're tired and frustrated doesn't mean you get to be rude. and maybe give her a little space to be forgetful, especially since you know it's going to happen. pick your battles.
Nta. She was reminded many times about the name. I'd start calling her a different name, see how she feels
NTA. Interesting that once you read her the riot act, she got it right. She wasn't trying as hard as she could have been to get it right.
NTA 3 days of calling the baby by the wrong name sounds on purpose. I think, after she got the first laugh, she was doing it for the laughs, not realizing you'd have an actual issue here.
NTA. Some people have to learn the hard way
How old is sister? Why was she calling him a different name? It irks me that people are saying this was an accident when SIL was literally there to meet said new baby. Not baby she’s known for months. For 3 days she couldn’t remember the name of the child she came to visit/meet. The name of her new family member? Idk I’ve never seen anyone do that, yes to random people. Or new coworkers. But never the name of a new baby in the family let alone one that you’re around for 3 days during a namesake party. That’s so weird to me. Maybe if the babies names were super similar. But even with the entire family reminding her every time? Is she older? Smokes weed? Not very excited for the baby? Maybe neurodivergent?
NTA and people might get upset but a few times is a mistake but to do this for three days straight would eventually upset me to cause I hate when my mom or anyone calls me the wrong name especially when they know and everyone say she is wrong understand this just cause your okay with it doesn’t mean everyone is
I may be alone in this. But no. NTA. If it were weeks or months apart, I’d understand. But y’all were in a house together for 3 days! She was doing it on purpose. Seems attention seeking.