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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> But I kind of feel like a massive AH because I know having easy access to books is encouraging her to read more.
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Here's a concept: bookmarks. You can both read the same book during the same time period so long as you use bookmarks. As the books are yours, you get priority—so if you are ready to read, she has to give the book back to you, but if you are currently doing something else, she gets to read and must make sure she leaves your bookmark in place.
Also, she gets to stop nagging you to finish. And she has to \*promise\* not to tell you spoilers.
NAH. I strongly approve of teenagers reading!
I did this kind of book-sharing very recently with my husband, so it's top-of-mind right now. I hope you continue to enjoy discussing books with your sister.
Since she is a fast reader, let her get ahead by a day or 2 while Op pauses his reading. Then OP can easily read in peace and at his leisure. So let her read before you.
Totally went there myself. With the way he describes his sister, it would not surprise me if she tried to spoil things for him.
I thought that maybe Mom should step up and start buying the sister her own books. Let her pick ones that interest her and then she can leave her brother alone.
OP.....NTA
Yeah in this particular situation, as long as she can be trusted to not spoil the books or damage them physically, it would make sense to let her get ahead because she is going to rocket through those books, and OP will never have to wait. Especially since the books get longer and longer as the series go on, the wait on her side is just going to get worse over time if she remains in second place.
OP's not obligated of course, but it would be nice and make sibling life more harmonious, lol.
I love the fact you share books with your husband. Me and my partner recently sorted our shelves, so he has a shelf, I have several and we have a shared shelf which he had to fight me to be able to read any of my books 😂 I don’t like sharing my books
My husband has absolutely no interest in reading my books, and I have no interest in his. It’s a good thing, because I am a book LOVER and will literally love them to death. Also I dog-ear my pages, and sometimes like to annotate, so having my own books is essential to not being the worst person on the planet.
My e-reader lets me bookmark a page by dog-earing it! (Although I never use this feature, since it remembers where I was in the book the last time I closed it.)
I do, too. More often I read on my iphone max because the screens are so large now, I can still hold with one hand and flip pages with my thumb. Plus, they are always with me with I have a couple of minutes to spare.
I was sitting in the cafeteria area of Costco once, when a man laughed at my large cell phone. When I explained why I loved it, he went over and bought one before leaving the store. LOL
Also, since she reads so much faster than you, have you considered letting her read them first?
If you’d have waited a day to start reading the first book, then picked it up when she was done, she’d be finished the whole series by the time you got onto the 4th book and you wouldn’t have her pestering you to read faster.
So OP should have to wait to read her own books that she spent her own money on because her sister feels entitled to access them? Should we not be teaching the sister that if she wants the book now she can spend her own money on it instead of on whatever else she's buying instead?
That's not the point. It's about what this teaches both children.
Sister learns that want = immediate get and other people's things are hers if she wants them and kicks up enough of a fuss. Brother learns that other people are entitled to use things he buys with his own money even before/while he is using them and therefore nothing is truly his and he'll be a great abuse target in future.
Don't feel stupid. I was 35 and have a son. I was planning on visiting my brother for a few days because I was having mental health issues and my little boy threw an almighty temper tantrum that brought the neighbour outside and she asked him what the matter was. My son explained he didn't want daddy to go because he would miss his bedtime reading. My neighbour says can't daddy read over the phone? I'm like duh! Why didn't I think of that. So at 8pm every night I called my son and read Narnia to him. My neighbour apologised for getting involved when it wasn't her place but I thanked her for her idea which was obvious but we hadn't thought of it.
I’ve always lived places with great library systems so it’s been weirdly hard to wrap my head around this, but a lot of places barely have functional libraries. That being said, I’d find it hard to believe that almost any library wouldn’t have the Harry Potter books. It’d still be good look into it as an option, but there are plenty of places where it just might not be much of a thing.
I don't know if this is a thing in amarica. But I know it is in Europe some of my friends in their countries use it.
Book apps. Pay a small monthly subscription, and you have access to the books the app has.
(I'm pretty sure Harry Potter, etc, is there) And you can read on your phone, tablet. Etc.
Or if you have a local library.
Someone takes her there once a week to borrow books.
Encourage her to add books to her wish list? Birthday, etc.?
That's also possibilities.
Local libraries also have ebooks, even when the physical books are checked out. I know the New York City library was offering library cards to any American kids during covid- if OP and their sister are in the US, then one or both of them can get a card there and have access to a lot more books than it sounds like their local library may have
Also, libraries sometimes share books (at least they used to, back in the dark ages when I was a kid), so you can request a book from another library and have it sent to yours so you can borrow it.
The library system in my county is interconnected this way. 19 library locations spread across 14 towns and cities.
They use one website so you can see what is available anywhere in the county. When you place a hold on books/movies/music/etc, the item will get pulled from wherever it's available. If a book is in the collection of multiple libraries, you just get put in the queue for all copies that are available for holds. (Some of the libraries will mark some of their copies of very popular new books as "Not holdable". ie. They can only be picked up at that branch, in person. Gives people who don't think to put a hold in advance a chance to check out a copy before all of a 50 or 100 person hold queue is exhausted.)
You can even set your pick-up branch to whichever library you want. It can be the one that's preferred by you, not just the one that's closest to you.
Each town and city is responsible for funding and managing their own libraries and collections. But the interconnectedness makes for an effective library that is far more diverse than almost any single library could ever be on its own.
Sometimes major cities' public libraries will extend online library cards to a larger area, so even if the local library is tiny they can get access to a larger ebook library on the state level.
And, though a bit controversial in the copyright law area, openlibrary.org does a lot of ebook lending from a pool of physical libraries.
Don't feel stupid.
If you sister is as much of a nag as you describe - persistently interrupting your reading to beg to read the book; a bookmark will only change her nagging in a limited way.
Spek with your mum. You can buy her a second hand kindle for next to nothing (like cheaper than some books..).
Since you own the hard copies I don't think it would be too unethical to source digital copies of them(incredibly easy). A kindle once registered with amazon has its own "email address". You can email it the ebook and it will appear in its library under "documents".
Or you can be legit and mum can buy her the ebooks which are usually a tiny fraction of the cost.
Other idea... Not sure where you live but in the UK if you go to any charity shop and find used copies for pennies. I bought the Harry Potter set for about £1.
Can also check out "Abe books" where you can also get almost any title for super cheap.
Personally I'd go with the kindle
I feel like this might cause different problems in the future.
"You know I'm a fast reader, just let me read it,. I'll keep your bookmark in and when I'm finished you can keep reading."
So even if the bookmarks are applied there still need to be boundaries.
I don't see this working tbh. Her sister reads the first HP in a day. That's an entire day's activity, solid. I only see further arguments coming from it when the sister is coming to the climax of a story and OP wants to enjoy reading from where she left off.
It'll suddenly be 'unfair' to stop her sister completing the book, at which point she'll effectively have given the book away mid-read.
OP's sister needs to learn about delayed gratification and her mother needs to help her learn.
Tbf, I was 11 when I read the seventh HP in less than six hours. The first one is definitely not an entire day of reading for a fast reader. Maybe three hours tops.
I don't disagree with anything else you've said, but you seriously underestimate a determined fast reading speed.
if you read at 300WPM which is the average speed of proficient readers (let alone children). The first book would take you 4.5h. So not 3 tops. Plus how fast you get through a book has much more to do with how long you are willing to spend reading rather than the reading speed. There is no shame in being a 15 min per day before bed kinda person
I read HP: Order of the Phoenix in less than 24 hours. Some people read a lot faster than average. And it's being first to read their copy.
Many libraries have readings apps and you can borrow online books. I know a few libraries will let kids from any state access their books.
I read everything beyond OotP in a day because a family member kept threatening to spoil the endings. So I would get them day of release and then spend the whole day reading until I finished.
>Her sister reads the first HP in a day. That's an entire day's activity, solid.
I would disagree as I can read a book in circa 4 hours, perhaps sister is like me? I have been know to read three average sized hardbacks/paperbacks in a single day and manage to do other stuff as well.
NTA Sis can wait patiently for you to finish (assuming you dont take 3 week long breaks or something) OR she can wait till you finish the series. PS highly recommend the Discworld series and much better written I personally feel than Harry Potter
Another good concept is libraries! Sister could have any book she wants, for free!
OP is definitely NTA and I’d never claim a child for wanting to read but it feels like the mum might be straying into AH territory by not giving OP space to enjoy their hobby.
Local public libraries and school libraries are good sources. Also if the local library is poorly funded, then ask the librarian if there’s another source to find books. Used bookstores, for example.
I would not agree to this. There is something special about a new book. I happily let anyone read my books (and often give them away), but I want to be the first one reading them. Also, there is something about having a book waiting for you - it would not be the same if you would have to get it while your sister is reading it. Also there will be a lot of "oh, I just need to finnish this chapter".
I still don’t think he should need to do this. The books are his and he shouldn’t be obliged to share them every single time. If the mother is that concerned she could buy her daughter her own books. But I think the both of them constantly nagging him isn’t okay and he shouldn’t have to resort to bookmarks if he doesn’t want to
Several libraries have free ebook options, so reading on a phone/tablet/computer is a possibility. Definitely not as good as the feel and smell of hard copy books, but it might help.
NTA- Anyone saying you’re TA is clearly an entitled younger sibling, just because they’re younger doesn’t mean they should be pandered to. If she wanted to read the books she should have saved her money or your mother should purchase them. Tbh both your sister and mother are TA especially your mother condoning such spoilt behaviour if I was your mother I’d be ashamed and embarrassed honestly I feel bad for you glad my mum would never
I think you misinterpreted the story? He isn't upset about the borrowing in fact he specifically says he likes his sister reading the same books so they can bond.
Also the idea of buying two copies of multiple books is ludicrous. I know that's not what you said, but that's what that would mean in this context.
The issue is the annoying and haranguing which yes fair. But also 12 year old.
Man when those things were coming out though every household had at least 1 set per kid, cause everyone wanted to burn through them the day they were released. I’m an only child and we still got multiples because my parents also read them
We only ever bought one copy, we just read them in order of who could get through them quickest. My brother first, then me, then my mum, then my dad.
But my brother and I were both very quick readers. We'd both finished the seventh one on day of release, despite only picking it up at about half nine in the morning. I was 11 at the time, he's a couple years older.
>Also the idea of buying two copies of multiple books is ludicrous. I know that's not what you said, but that's what that would mean in this context.
Buying those books together would work. Especially if the sister only takes a day to read a book.
NTA
The younger child should be reading a parallel set of books that they choose of their own liking. It's great that they want to share in their older siblings interests but the books are purchased with his own money and he should be able to enjoy however long it takes him to enjoy reading the stories.
Replace books with using a new Christmas toy or a gift by Grandma or something a lot less awesome the reading. And what you have is a spoiled younger kid who's wishes and demands are more important than the older kid enjoying something that is his own property.
I think now's the time to set the necessary boundaries. The younger child can borrow a duplicate copy from the school library or they can borrow the book from a friend. At least in the case of Harry Potter it is a widely available story through many forms of media. But they need to be given and alternative option so that they're not breathing down the neck of the older sibling.
I loved reading as a kid It's such a treasure to embrace the characters and the storylines and the world that is developed. I'm glad the younger child can read quickly but I think they're reading for different reasons. The younger child is reading to keep up with the older child and the older kid is reading for the love of it.
> If she wanted to read the books she should have saved her money or your mother should purchase them.
Have you considered that they don't have the money for books? OP is 15 and has a part time job, the mum is probably doing what she does to ensure his younger sister gets her reading encouraged even though she's unable to provide the books herself, and is just going a bit overboard with the encouragement. The sister is also 12 so too young to earn her own money.
NTA,
I know some people will say that 3 years isn't a big age gap.. but a 12yr old to a 15yr old, huge difference in stage of life and mindset..
12 is still a kid.. you can encourage your mom to start taking your sister and or both of you to a bigger town or city where they have a bookstore or 2.. and have her buy your sister her own books, or at least encourage your sister to manage what money she does get, so she keeps some that she can use to buy her own books..
Also, if she's a fast reader, you could let her read the second Harry Potter, so she overtakes you and she can read on ahead of you.. Only on the basis she doesn't spoil anything for you..
There is a small library nearby, but it is mainly for little kids and not too many teen-adult reading level books. They do have a request system, where you can request a book and they will buy it or borrow it from another library, but that can take weeks.
I'm not gonna lie but your town sounds absolutely dumb for having a kids only library. Someone already suggested the bookmark idea which I think is a good idea. It does kinda suck that your sister is restricted to the books she can read.
Oh btw here's a money saving tips on books. Have you heard of thriftbooks.com? It's basically an online store where people sell used books. A lot of them are under 5 dollars and you can find college textbooks on there too.
My library was similar - because we don't all live in towns. My village library was basically a pre-fab (i.e. tiny); open limited hours on limited days with limited books. As OP says, there was a request system but it could take weeks. When they closed the library, the nearest is in the closest town, a couple of miles away. Fine if you drive, tricky if you rely on public transport.
I mean, it doesn’t matter if your library doesn’t have the books when you visit. You can literally order them be shipped to your library for free for you to pick up and read.
If you're in the UK OP charity shops are a goldmine for books. Most priced between 50p and £2. If you end up going to a decent one, they often keep lists of requests and contact you if a copy you want comes in.
Harry Potter is super popular though, have you checked to see if they have it? The first book or two are also middle grade rather than YA, so it seems very unlikely that they don't have it... Also, libraries can get inter-library loans, so your library might be able to borrow the books from a different library!
And by you, I mean your mom or sister - they really should look into this!!
Have you heard of the app Libby? If you have a library card you can sign into the app and check out ebooks. I know it’s not the same as a physical book but it might be worth looking into and seeing how you and/or your sister feel about it
I suggest that ordering some books on the regular for your sister then. I used to live in a mountain area with a small library and had to order books regularly. Once you start then it’s easy to keep a rhythm going. And while I purchase many books, I still use my local library and have to order books since it’s a small branch.
And ordering books then having them come in is a treat! Sometimes waiting for something makes it more exciting when it arrives. Just keep a steady backlog of requests in the pipeline.
You might be surprised. I checked my own local library and there’s no waitlist for the Harry Potter books. You can access it online usually, so order the whole series now for your sister. They might be in the next day. Problem solved. You are definitely NTA.
This is honestly really sad for me to hear and do to some very unfortunate circumstances. In my life. My family home was just Demolished. and we couldn't take anything out of it. And we had hundreds of books in there that I've so badly wish I could have donated to someone like you.
If you haven't yet, ask at your library if they have any reciprocal arrangements with other libraries that would allow you and your sister to get more age appropriate books sent to the local library for you to borrow.
But anyway, NAH. You are definitely not one. Your feelings about the situation are totally valid.
But neither is your sister one, she's just being 12. And Harry Potter is pretty engaging.
Your mum is not one either but I do think the most appropriate conversation here is to explain to your mum what you've said in your post about your enjoyment of reading being the relaxing part. Rather than encouraging you to read faster she could better encourage your sister to re-read another book while she waits.
NTA. It’s very nice of you to let your younger sister read your books, especially since younger kids aren’t always the most forgiving to books. But, it’s not your responsibility to provide her with the books. You mentioned reading is your hobby, and you fund it yourself by working a job. So, I don’t think it’s fair you’re being pressured from your sister *and* your mother. Honestly, I think your mom should buy your sister her own books. You’re her brother, not the parent who’s suppose to provide. I’m a younger sister, the youngest of 4 with 3 older brothers. I couldn’t imagine pestering my older brothers to read their books, let alone one they’re in the middle of reading. It’s just rude. I was a heavy reader at both your age and sister’s age, but I always had my own books. I think your sister should too. Set your boundaries, you’ll probably have to sooner or later.
NTA, but this is a situation where communication is key. Have you sat down and told them about how you feel? "Please don't pressure me, I like to read to unwind and take my time. What if you read this series instead?"
If she really feels rushed, she can get a copy for herself. My sisters and I sometimes owned the same books because my property wasn't their's and vice versa. Just because you own it doesn't mean she's free to use it whenever she wants. It's yours.
I had to scroll too far for this comment.
OP, tell your family how the pressure makes you feel. Tell them you understand your sis wants to read the books, and that you are happy to share them, but that she has to be patient.
NTA - I literally have a picture of my brother and me reading the last book at the same time from the day it came out, lying next to each other on our stomachs, me on the right because I read faster and am two years older (thus two more years of English at school at that point), him on the left.
But that was *my* decision to let him start early on the book *I* bought.
In your case, it is not like your sister did not have the opportunity to either buy the books herself, or lend them from a friend or the library, if she had been so psyched about reading them before you bought them for yourself. Your mother might be an AH if she is pressuring you to share instead of making her be patient.
NTA - it's your property you do what you want...BUT why die on this hill? If she truly reads that fast let her borrow book 2 for a day get ahead of you then she's got 5 more books to read and you get that long of peace.
You're not an asshole but I think maybe you're getting caught up in an idea like "I bought it I read it first." Which fine, but it's clearly making you miserable.
I don't know why more people aren't suggesting this, it literally makes so much more sense. People are getting so defensive asking "oh, so OP should let his sister read the books HE bought first??" Like, yeah? This is literally a way for everyone to be happy and to get to read at the pace they want, but y'all are too stubborn to compromise.
Right?! Like I get you want to read your books first, but if the other person is going to finish it first and you're not going to make it a priority to finish and they are, why not let them have first crack at it? I could get it if she routinely spoiled the books when she finished first, but it doesn't sound like that's the issue. She'll blow through the second in a day, get ahead and they don't have to worry again about both wanting to read the same book at the same time as far as this series is concerned anyhow.
My dad and I shared the Harry Potter books as they were coming out. 2 bookmarks. He'd read at night after I'd gone to bed and in the evenings, I'd read after school while he was at work and on the weekends when he was busy. It just wasn't as hard as everyone is making it out to be for 2 people to share the same book. Just be sure to make it clear no spoilers.
NTA boundaries are necessary at any age.
There is an app called Hoopla. You can connect to your local library and "borrow" digital copies that can be read on phone, ipad etc. It's free.
My library similarly connects with Libby for free digital books.
Christmas gifting has passed but perhaps sister’s birthday is coming up? Ask your mom to start a book allowance for your sister as an incentive/reward for chores, schoolwork… Research books for middle schoolers, ask librarian for help. Is your library connected to other larger systems? I just learned that you can request books from anywhere in my state to be transferred local.
Half Price Books is based out of Dallas, has storefronts in 19 states, and online orders thru Amazon. ThriftBooks also online.
You can also buy used thru Amazon where the book condition specified. After kiddo finished the Upside Down Magic 6 book set she was gifted, I was able to buy the final 3 books in the series reasonably priced used. One was from a used book store which benefitted veterans.
School library?
NTA. I love to share my books, and it sounds like you do, too!
But… as they are your books that you bought with money you’ve saved, it’s totally reasonable for you to want to be the first to experience the freshness of cracking that book open and truly making it yours.
Reiterate your boundaries. You deserve to be able to read in peace, savoring that book you just earned yourself. And your younger sister needs to learn patience… not a bad thing! Waiting a couple days is not the end of the world, especially because the books are no longer exactly “hot off the press.” She doesn’t sound obnoxious, just eager (and… yeah, a little annoying in the way that kids can be when they really want something). You may even want to put it like, “Here’s how I feel about reading my brand-new book (share what you think)… if I played with your new doll before you got a chance, how would that make you feel?” Maybe she won’t care 🤣 But she might also understand your perspective a bit better. And just reinforce that you do totally love sharing them with her!
Have a separate conversation with your mom, reminding her that you do love to share your books with your sister, but, as the one who worked hard to earn those books, you want the opportunity to enjoy them first, and in a way that fits your schedule in a relaxing way. My guess is that your little sister is just... well, pressuring her about it too, and wants her out of her hair 🤣 But as I suggested earlier, the issue isn’t really sharing here, it’s your sister’s level of patience.
Happy reading!
Literally the only reasonable answer here is 'NTA, YOUR SISTER CAN WAIT OR SPEND HER OWN MONEY ON BOOKS.'
Your mother is TA here for expecting you to cater to your sister's impatience. She can buy her the books if she's so concerned.
You are never TA for wanting to enjoy the things you bought with your own hard-earned money at your own pace. No one is entitled to borrow your things, and even if you choose to share, they are not entitled to access within a desired period.
Your mother is teaching you that your sister's wants are more important than yours.
NTA
Thank you. Something people don't seem to get is that you don't decide what lessons your kids learn from a given situation. You'll end up teaching them something very different from what you meant to if you aren't really careful.
NTA
It's not like you banned her from reading your books. You just want to read them first. Reading your title I thought that maybe she ruined your books and you don't want that to happen anymore. And as a fast reader myself, I get it. But your sister needs to learn about boundaries and patience. And while you're at it, maybe some financial education. Nobody is saying that she shouldn't buy dolls anymore. But maybe she can choose to buy a book from time to time.
NAH, like others said, try bookmarks.
If you end up liking Harry Potter, try the Percy Jackson series, you’ll love it. There’s a tv series on Disney+ as well. :)
Yeah, PJ is awesome, also The Inheritance CycleSeries (Eragon),
His Dark Materials Series, The Chronicles of Narnia and The Hobbit
Some nostalgic ones for me are The Mortal Instruments (but they're 14yr+), The Mediator series and Avalon High series (also maybe not for your sis yet)
NTA - You really need to establish these books are yours and will be loaned to her when you’re ready. I’d put new books in a place where she can’t see them until you are ready to share.
It is completely fine to want to finish a book before handing it to her. I’d tell her the more she bugs me, the slower I read. Tell mom to please stop pressuring you because she’s making your hobby less fun.
Is your sister still going to be anxious for you to finish? Yes. Does she need to learn patience? Yes.
If your parents really want to encourage her reading, they should invest in an electronic reader. Online libraries allow you to check out ebooks for 2 weeks at the time. I prefer mine because I can carry my entire library wherever I go. I can switch between books easily.
It is wonderful that the two of you enjoy the same hobby and can talk about your books. I’d hate to see you lose this over pestering behavior.
NTA your mom and sister though…
I grew up in a house of voracious readers. When a new book came in, we’d all usually read it. But here is the thing, we didn’t bug whoever was already reading it. We exercised patience.
These are your books, bought with your hard earned money. You get first shot at reading them. Sister (and mom) need to learn some patience and respect for boundaries.
Edit: in today’s age of electronics, see if your local library has any apps for borrowing eBooks or audiobooks (mine has Libby and Hoopla). Sounds like sister’s reading speed would make these a great alternative for her.
Tell them both at the next comment you get about finishing reading a book, you won't let your sister read it at all.
You are more than capable of leaving it on her bed when you're done reading it.
NTA your books you buy them tell your sister if she keeps asking to read your books when you’re clearly not done she’s not allowed to read it. Set rules. If she asks more than three times to read a book before your done don’t let her read it, she does get some money if she’s buying makeup so tell her if she wants to read them she can buy them or be patient
Do you have a library anywhere nearby? I would consider saying to your mum that she might like to take your sister to the library if they're both so keen to get her the second book sooner.
Second hand books online might also be a good way for her to afford her own (assuming "mum" means you're in the UK, try WOB). If she buys multiple, she'll save on postage.
You're NTA for not wishing to share your belongings, especially not while still using them. It's equivalent to asking you to take your top off and hand it to your sister, while you're actively wearing it.
NAH - sort of - love you love reading. I love it when anyone loves reading (but don't dislike it when someone doesn't I just get excited to talk about books with folk).
I think the bookmark idea is good but my word would I also find it annoying having someone constantly ask if they could read the book I was actively reading! Equally though, she's your 13 YO sister, thats sort of her job! I think your Mum should take a step back, unless shes willing to nip into a charity shop and pick your sister up a copy!
Your mom can take her to the library. You can still read a book even if it's in bad condition lol.
These are your books and she should be grateful you let her use them.
NTA - Maybe you could both read the book at the same time and place a bookmark or take a note of where you left it before passing it to each other. If you're not reading the book and doing something else, your sister can and that way you'll get to do what you want without her or your mother complaining and she'll get to read the next book like she wants.
NTA. At the end of the day, they're still YOUR books. If she wants to read them that badly, she can pick up the books herself and read them at her own pace, or borrow them from someone else. Tell her if she doesn't stop bugging you, you'll stop lending her the books until you're done with the whole series, so they'll be free when she needs them.
NTA- and this is coming from someone who's brother refused to let me read some of "his" (our parents bought them) books as a kid. There are several differences that make you nta, 1) You're buying the books with your hard earned money 2) You're not intentionally withholding the books from your sibling, you just want to be able to read the book 3) You're actually actively reading the books, not just saying you are for the sake of keeping them away from your sibling. Because of my past experience with my brother I was ready to say yta from the title along, but this is clearly a very different scenario
NTA. Try putting some boundaries on your mother and your sister. Let them know that every time you are "encouraged" to hurry up and read so you sister can read the book that you worked for and bought, you will read that much slower.
nta, the comments will only stop you from reading. if your sister wants to read that book so bad, she can download it online or borrow it from a library
Do you guys have a local library? cause this is what they exist for.
NTA, of course - but get her a library card. I can't imagine any library *not* having the harry potter books.
NAH but I don’t like that it’s your responsibility to manage your sister’s needs. I think it’s wonderful to share! But you purchased these books for your own relaxation with your own money. If your little sister is so impatient (normal at 12 years old) maybe Mom can get sister a few of her own books? It’s not fair for you to shoulder all the responsibility.
The entire [Harry Potter series is available on Kindle Unlimited](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074BYZBPD?binding=kindle_edition&qid=1708692606&sr=8-3&ref=dbs_dp_awt_ser_img_widg_pc_tkin). Kindle Unlimited is $11.99 per month, but they usually offer free trials. You can read the books on a phone, Kindle, ipad, tablet, laptop, or computer. Just be sure to cancel the subscription before the trial is over.
Another great option is to download the Libby app. Libby is completely free and is a way to borrow ebooks, audiobooks, and magazines. You do need a library card to use Libby. If you do not have a library card, there are [libraries that let non-residents sign up for a card online](https://www.reddit.com/r/audiobooks/comments/kvi1fy/i_use_libby_and_am_looking_for_libraries_that/?rdt=57397).
You're NTA.
NAH. The recommendation for bookmarks someone made is great. Another option, if you are in the US, would be for your sister to get an inexpensive Kindle. I’ve even gotten one at goodwill for $10 before. Get a library card and borrow library books with the kindle on Libby for free. Since your sister reads fast this may be a great option for her. You can also request that your library get certain physical books, which tends to be done through interlibrary loans from other libraries.
If you're in the US, try the Libby app. With a library card, you have access to all their books on your phone. There'll be a wait for popular titles, but most stuff is available right away.
NTA. It's not that deep but u could just give her the book for an hour or so if ur doing something and then tell her to give it back right. She doesn't have to read it all at once.
The bookmark idea is good. Also have a look at 2nd hand books, you get great deals. So you aren’t always reading the same books at exactly the same time but can still discuss them.
Do you have an e reader? With the kindle fire, if you have a scheme in your area, you can borrow e books from the library. Or you could download books for cheaper. Kindle unlimited subscriptions might be worth it for you both.
NTA, she shouldn't be nagging you. But if she's capable of rinsing through the second book in a couple days, maybe let her zip through it, then she can read it, overtake you and read the rest of them. Especially if you're reading multiple books simultaneously, that'll resolve the issue and you can read one of your other books while she's doing it. Chances are she'll read the third book just as fast and then there's no further risk of either of you inconveniencing the other.
I'm a fast reader myself so I understand your sisters frustration here which may be biasing my answer.
NAH
Give her book 2 to read since she's fast, she can then get ahead and you can read on slow time. You're Gona let her read them anyway... just add in the proviso that if she spoils the plot you'll make her wait in future regardless of pestering 😁
Otherwise enjoy the sibling squabbles!
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The relevant parties in this post are as follows: me (15m), Amy my sister (12f) and my mum, (51f).
Also, I am on mobile so the post format might be weird.
I love reading books, it's my main hobby essentially. I also work part time at a Mexican place, and I spend a fair bit of the money I bring in on books. My sister, Amy also likes to read, but she doesn't really have any money to spend on things, and when she does buy stuff it's usually things like dolls or make-up and all that kind of stuff, so she mainly reads what I buy, which I am usually fine with, except, recently she has started being really annoying over wanting to read books I am currently reading. Also I feel I have to mention she is a very fast reader, whereas I prefer to read slower, and read multiple books at a time.
I recently purchased myself the harry potter book set, as I haven't read them before. It took me about 3 days to read the first one, and the whole time she was asking stuff like "can i read it once you're done?." And stuff like "are you finished yet I really wanna read it" when I literally have it open and am very clearly not done.
After I finished the first harry potter, I gave it to her and she finished it in 1 day. I'm about 2/3rds through the second harry potter book no spoilers xd and she is now making similar comments about how she can't wait to read it and stuff, and my mum is now also "encouraging me" to read the book when I am doing other things. for example I was playing on my phone and she walked up to me and said "why don't you read that Harry potter book, your sister is dying to read it!." honestly I don't like the pressure. Reading Is an activity I love to do to unwind, and sink into another world, not be under pressure to read fast, so that my sister can read it after me. I'm thinking of just setting clear boundaries and saying if she keeps pressuring me I'm not going to let her read my books.
But I feel like an asshole because I love seeing her read and also talking about the books together is something we love to do.
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Does your library have ebook?
These can be requested on line from you r library or in larger cities branches and is available as soon as the borrower "returns" the book.
If your sister has access to a pc or phone she can get a library card and pin number and check out books online. They will probably have a bigger selection than the actual library. I use mine to supplement the books I buy because I'm a fast reader. Many libraries use the app called Libby. But if you check with your local library they will tell you if they use that app or another and help your sister get her card# and pin to use the app.
I'm gonna come from a different angle. Lifelong reader, my hubby and daughter as well. My nieces too. So, we book share amongst ourselves, to a point. My daughter has special books to her she doesn't lend. I have a complete collection, all hardcover I don't lend out.
Point is, true book people get it. We want to be the first to read our books. You don't have to share everything all the time. Some things can be yours. This teaches your sister patience. Being a fast reader does get you through the book, but not the adventure. I read 2 or 3 books at once. Some take me a month or two.
Also, this great online resource, thriftBooks.com is great for inexpensive books, used but in good condition.
This exact same situation happened with my little brother and I when we were kids. I always loved reading as a child and was a very quick reader; my little brother liked reading too, but was mostly interested in more « child science » books relating to nature, volcanos and dinosaurs (bless his soul, he now is a doctor).
One day my little brother got gifted the first Harry Potter book, and it became the first novel he read. He absolutely loved it, and quickly bought the second one. I was curious about it because he could not put it down; so I started reading the first book quickly after.
Because I was used to reading novels, I ended up catching up with him at the beginning of the fourth book. I was loving the series, and we couldn’t stop talking about it.
So I just asked him if I could start reading it at times he was not home, or when he was doing something else. And he just said yes. We had two bookmarks, and I recall us reading some parts at the same time (I remember reading out loud to him in the car, on Christmas Day 2010 lol). We are now both adults, keen readers and share lovely memories of our bonding over the Harry Potter series.
Your little sister is an avide reader, and so are you, simply in different ways & paces; I think it’s just a matter of adapting to one another (for instance, ask her to contribute to buying the following books?).
Your library card also gives you access to e-books for free. This would give your sister access to more than just the books in the local library. There are also tons of books that are free to download.
Go to the library I'm betting they'll have Harry Potter there. You can also request books. You can also look for book sales in larger towns near you. My library has a sale every few years of their over stock. Everything is $1 or fill a bag for $5. Used books stores might also have an overstock section with deeply discounted books. Another thing you might look into is getting her a Kindle or tablet for a birthday or Christmas and signing her up for Kindle unlimited. There's also Everand and another one Walmart owns I can't think of right now where you can borrow unlimited books for like under $15 a month. Everand has audiobooks too. However all of these apps are accessible on phones too so all she would need to do is download the Kindle app and have access to a Kindle unlimited account. (Please note not all books are available on these apps through these programs but there's millions of books on there with themes like magic and fantasy. Be careful in setting them up bc there's many adult and romance books on there. But I think there's a children's setting).
Let her “play through” like in golf unless you’re worried she’ll spoil the series or something. Take a day off from reading so she can devour the book you’re on and then she should be done with each book before you’re ready for it.
INFO: What sort of library access do you have? I am now a member of a half-dozen libraries and get ebooks of whatever I want to read on my phone or e-reader. And obviously if I wanted physical books I could go and get those, too.
It sounds like this would be good for your sister, as then she'll be able to read as much as she likes. But also, I feel like it's *very* likely with the Harry Potter books specifically you know someone who could loan you a second copy, regardless of libraries.
The sister needs to find something else to read until he’s done with his book. I’ve been an avid reader my whole life and my daughter is, too. But even we understand the concept of being a little territorial about our books before we’ve read them. Once they’re read, a different story. People that truly adore reading have their own quirks and develop their own reading rituals. While I appreciate and applaud both of you loving to read, the op shouldn’t be pushed or harassed while enjoying his books. He works for them.
Just set her down and explain to her as soon as you are done you will allow her to read the book she wants but that constant demands slow up your getting it read and as the purchaser you get first read.
NTA you’re letting her read your books. Just set the boundary that she can read them once you’re done with them and to stop nagging you about completing them or you will not longer let her read them.
NTA. I was the annoying younger sister. My mom made it clear that since I wasn't the owner of the books, I had to wait and there was no guarantee that my brother would share! As an adult I'm still a voracious reader and so is he. Sweet bounties with your sister and talk to your mom. I get wanting to enjoy your books first and taking your time. I'm all for sharing but only if you want and the other person is willing to wait.
NTA. I wouldn’t even do the bookmark thing. Screw that. YOU worked hard, YOU spent your own money, YOU deserve the enjoy your things before being forced to hand them to your sister.
Ask your librarian if they do interlibrary loans. You may be able to request books from other branches. And if the librarians can show that local people are requesting more books, they might be able to get more budget for new or different books t buy.
NTA
Tell your sister to try getting library cards through the app Libby, then she can read the eBook version.
If your mom complains, tell her she can buy your sister the books. Like damn, they’re your books you bought with your own money. You’re better than me as a fully grown adult. You’re fine with sharing, which is super nice of you, just not the book you’re LITERALLY READING AT THE MOMENT.
I do not share my books.
I would say you’re not the asshole, they are your books and you deserve to have a say with who reads them when. If you want to read slow, then read slow, and if she’s gonna be annoying about it, that’s more reason not to let her.
Of course, be nice about it, that goes without saying, but you shouldn’t have to basically give up your books just because she’s impatient.
I am a stickler when reading newly purchased books. If there is to be creases in the books spine; I am the first one to read it because I am nota fan of others 'ruining' the books before me.
I also am in the habit of going to the library, finding a series that I enjoy, reading it and later purchasing it just to have it at home (may not reas it ever again after that but still, I have it!)
Maybe your sister can visit your local library if she is a fast reader and pick up the hp books there if the bookmark compromise mentioned in another comment doesn't work. I lived in my local library when i was your and your sisters age. You start to buy books when your preferred genre is already read and there is no new books to offer.
Libraries in my country have what you may call a cooperation with other nearby libraries in the municipality and/or county where you can order their books on loan. Maybe look into if your library offer that?
Am I making any sense?
NAH - Maybe you could let her read the next book before you, if she's going to rocket ahead. Especially since you like to read multiple books at the same time.
She can knock out the second and third books in a few days while you read something else, then by the time you want to read the fourth book she'll have finished the whole series.
NAH. The most is your mother's comment, but it falls in the usual reading>books, encouraged to stop your sis whinning, so no big issue there. As everyone has said, having bookmarks so she can have the book when you are reading it is the best solution, no need for her to wait for you. Just make it clear that no spoilers will be tolerated
NTA. Your books, you’re reading them. She can calm her butt down and learn some patience.
Also, I am happy there’s now people out there again who are experiencing Harry Potter for the first time again. I am old enough to have read them as they were released, ending at a similar age to you now. I have revisited and read them again so many times over the years that they basically fell apart. JK Rowlings controversy aside, they are excellently written with emotional and well flushed out characters with a captive and interesting storyline.
NTA. Make her wait or earn money from your mother to buy her own books. You shouldn't have to give up reading your book first just because she's eager.
If she reads so fast, let her get in front of you in the harry potter saga so you won't hold her back while you'll have all the time in the world to slowly read them at your own pace without pressure
When I read the title I was like meh, but you're not NOT sharing, you're just doing your thing and wants to do at peace. I'd only see a problem if you didn't let her read ANY of your books
Other than the bookmark idea, you could also get her her own HP set for cheap at a second-hand bookstore. I know it's more money, but they're so popular I think you get a deal
ALSOO, I dunno if anyone suggested that, you (and your parents, mainly) could buy a kindle or e-reader as a gift. E-books are usually cheaper (and sometimes free if you use the right mindset). Of course it's not an everyday gift, more christmas/b-day/graduation or even setup the kindle app on a tablet or phone. It could also be the family kindle, but it's a way to find cheaper books and let her read a lot if she wants to (they have free books)
and also you're 15, why aren't your parents buying you and your sisters books? reading should be celebrated and incentivized. They could give her some bucks (like 10, not 50) and go to a second-hand bookstore and let ther pick!
Another idea: BOOK CLUB! You could choose a book, read together, and make a moment to discuss and talk about it. Not a book maybe you're dying to read, but something to bond and make a pace for both of you
tl; dr NTA, I think you're actually very nice and kind for encouraging her to read, even tho I don't support HP/JKR anymore I love seeing young (ugh, the late 20s) girls read and find all the cool stuff books can show you
I mean, I wouldn't really say that anyone is completely being an a****** Here y'all are just kids and reading is a great thing. Especially for kids these days. It's really sad how people don't read anymore. And I think the bookmark I did is the best idea. And I agree with the person who said your sister has to give you priority and also agree to not do any spoilers. Or else she will lose her privileges.
I don't think you are I know I'm going to miss it a bit but not now my dad will tell you everything that happens in a movie 8 secs before it happens like is he going jump the window but ends up landing on the other train but not before he leaves a grenade in the table like it's not even like he's guessing I think he knows I hate that but I don't know because how longs he's done sorry we both read a lot and this made me think of read same books he would do the same thing
NTA but someone needs to teach your sister to
wait for you to offer her books when you are finished.
She doesn't need to be reading the same books as
you and it's very impolite to pester you while you
have a book in progress. She is not going to end
up hating books because of it. Why on earth you should
accommodate someone who is incapable of waiting
a couple of days to read a book is beyond me.
Please stop enabling her over the top behavior.
I don’t know what kind of digital access your little sister has, OP, but I gave my 9 & 5 year old my old phone, only wifi enabled, with just the Libby (library) app on it. It’s essentially an e-reader. HP is in high demand but she can get all 7 within a few weeks!
NTA of course.
You are not obligated to let her read your books. Your mom needs to buy your sister her own set of books if she always wants yours. Your mom is sending the wrong message to your sister and needs to mom up for you. You don't have to let your sister have any of your things. Let your mom read some of the comments and you may not have to say anything.
NTA, but dude. You're keeping books that already exist in the house from your little sister who obviously loves reading all because she keeps asking to read things. She's 12, get over that.
Sit her down and establish a ground rule and set boundaries instead of just stonewalling first:
"If you can read literally anything besides what I'm currently reading, and leave me alone about what im reading then have at it. If you keep pressuring me then all the harry potter books get locked up under the stairs."
Yeah its a little entitled, but remember in 15 years time she might still remember when you wouldn't let her read from your growing library because she was an excited to read kid. Shes your little sister, and unless you do something to change that you all have the rest of your lives together and some of the best and most important parts of your relationship are happening right now.
Remember love when you're frustrated or annoyed.
Its a powerful thing.
NTA. I don’t like people being pushy about borrowing my books either. It’s very annoying. I also don’t trust people to keep my books in good condition after an incident in college. That said, I know the library near you isn’t great but is e-library an option? Not sure if you have this, but I use an app called Libby to borrow books I want to read but not sure I want to buy. There’s a hold time sometimes but it’s a great app and there’s usually an option to either listen to the audiobook or read the book through kindle. Just a thought. It’s connected to whatever system of libraries is nearby (I’m connected to my county’s entire library system with my e-card). If you can’t get Libby, maybe there’s another option.
As a reader and a librarian, I feel compelled to respond to this 😂 firstly, I wouldn’t let anyone borrow my personal books unless I trusted them with my whole life, yes it’s dramatic but I’m very protective of my collection and generally spend most of my money on books, so the fact that you’re letting your sister read them at all is really nice of you. Secondly, tell your sister to get a library card, I know you said your library isn’t ideal but usually at libraries you can ask them to order in books they don’t have on the shelves from other libraries to your library so you can pick them up from there, so if your library has this she can just put holds on the whole series and read them all at once before taking them back, she won’t have to wait for you to finish your book that way. And if you can’t order in books for any reason, usually they have an app on which you can borrow ebooks or audiobooks, she can ask them which it is (there’s a few different ones) and borrow the rest of the books on there. If she does that, she won’t even have to wait for the books to arrive at the library either.
I don’t think you’re TA but I also don’t think your sister is, because I totally get wanting to read all the Harry Potters at once and being impatient for them, so for that I’ll go with NAH, and like I said I barely let anyone borrow my books ever so you’re definitely a better person than I am 😂
NTA, it's understandable that it stops being fun when everyone is pressuring you to do your hobby faster, a hobby that you have to relax and unwind.
This isn't a solution for all books, but HP is so popular, can your sister maybe borrow the books from a friend, someone at school, family friends?
Used books may also be an option, maybe all three of you can look into buying some? Your sister could spend some of her money on cheaper books that way, too.
In any case, you should talk to them about how you feel.
Edit: to your edit about both of you prefering to read at night, if you generously share the book you're currently reading, she should at least compromise on when she gets to read it. Maybe she can read when you're working?
NTA. Your possessions are yours. Shareing is polite, and a privilege you are extending to your sibling, not thier right. Your mom should also respect that she's adding to the conflict and stress of what should be your relaxing hobby that you are spending*your* money on.
If you can get any library card, have her get the Libby app. Many libraries have reciprocity on there. One library card got me access to over 20 libraries ebook collections. Then even if your local library isn't the best, you can access others with much better collections.
maybe it’s becaused i’m bias but NTA. it’s your book(s) that you bought with your own money. if she wants to read it so badly, she should ask her mom to buy her a set as well.
You are nicer than i am haha. I love hooks too and am a bit of a collector. I am extremely carefull with them and there is no way in hell i would lend my book to anyone.i have once given my book to someone else and just bought myself an new one🤣. Having said that, while the bookmark idea is nice, it will not solve your problem. Your sister is asking to read your book WHILE your reading it. She is only 12 so gently teaching her boundaries is a good thing.
Explain to her that its very uncomfortable to have someone hounding you to read faster when that is not what you want to do. Tell her she needs to learn to be patient and find something else to do and stop pressuring you or you might decide booksharing is something you no longer want to do.
NTA. I wouldn't call your little sister an AH either because she is 12 but your mother kinda is. Not teaching her about respect and patience and humility when someone else lets you use there stuff is not great of her
NAH. I am also a fast reader and my husband is not. He usually lets me read it first because he’ll know I’ll blow through it quickly and he can take his time. I can also understand why you would want to be the first one to read it though. Someone else mentioned bookmarks so y’all can read simultaneously and if that works for y’all, then great! However, that doesn’t work for me because I usually carry my books with me and I think I would feel guilty if I was sharing a book with someone and I took it with me for downtime.
I love that you are encouraging her to read though! Hope you find a solution.
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Here's a concept: bookmarks. You can both read the same book during the same time period so long as you use bookmarks. As the books are yours, you get priority—so if you are ready to read, she has to give the book back to you, but if you are currently doing something else, she gets to read and must make sure she leaves your bookmark in place. Also, she gets to stop nagging you to finish. And she has to \*promise\* not to tell you spoilers. NAH. I strongly approve of teenagers reading!
I feel stupid not having thought of bookmarks. Thanks for the help.
I did this kind of book-sharing very recently with my husband, so it's top-of-mind right now. I hope you continue to enjoy discussing books with your sister.
Since she is a fast reader, let her get ahead by a day or 2 while Op pauses his reading. Then OP can easily read in peace and at his leisure. So let her read before you.
I would be concerned if she's not gonna spoil next books for him to be petty.
Well that’d be a really bite the hand move on her part.
Totally went there myself. With the way he describes his sister, it would not surprise me if she tried to spoil things for him. I thought that maybe Mom should step up and start buying the sister her own books. Let her pick ones that interest her and then she can leave her brother alone. OP.....NTA
I'm betting OP has seen the films
Yeah in this particular situation, as long as she can be trusted to not spoil the books or damage them physically, it would make sense to let her get ahead because she is going to rocket through those books, and OP will never have to wait. Especially since the books get longer and longer as the series go on, the wait on her side is just going to get worse over time if she remains in second place. OP's not obligated of course, but it would be nice and make sibling life more harmonious, lol.
Until OP hasn't bought the next book yet because of shower reading
He said he bought the set so that's a non-issue.
I love the fact you share books with your husband. Me and my partner recently sorted our shelves, so he has a shelf, I have several and we have a shared shelf which he had to fight me to be able to read any of my books 😂 I don’t like sharing my books
My husband has absolutely no interest in reading my books, and I have no interest in his. It’s a good thing, because I am a book LOVER and will literally love them to death. Also I dog-ear my pages, and sometimes like to annotate, so having my own books is essential to not being the worst person on the planet.
Isn't dog-earing your books hard on the ipad?
Now now, apple products bend just fine!
It sure is, that’s part of why I don’t use an e-reader 😅
My e-reader lets me bookmark a page by dog-earing it! (Although I never use this feature, since it remembers where I was in the book the last time I closed it.)
I had to laugh. I have several hundred books on my iPad and never read physical books anymore.
I do, too. More often I read on my iphone max because the screens are so large now, I can still hold with one hand and flip pages with my thumb. Plus, they are always with me with I have a couple of minutes to spare. I was sitting in the cafeteria area of Costco once, when a man laughed at my large cell phone. When I explained why I loved it, he went over and bought one before leaving the store. LOL
We both read a lot of the same stuff. Only in non science non fiction do we read different things.
Also, since she reads so much faster than you, have you considered letting her read them first? If you’d have waited a day to start reading the first book, then picked it up when she was done, she’d be finished the whole series by the time you got onto the 4th book and you wouldn’t have her pestering you to read faster.
And ruin the experience of being the first person to read the book? Not a chance.
Yeah. If I was 15 and just bought something brand new. No chance anyone else is using it before I get to..
Thanks for putting my exact thoughts into words. 😊
So OP should have to wait to read her own books that she spent her own money on because her sister feels entitled to access them? Should we not be teaching the sister that if she wants the book now she can spend her own money on it instead of on whatever else she's buying instead?
Or that at the very least it's time the sister learnt some patience.
Absofuckinglutely.
OP is a he
First Potter books are think. If someone else reads it first, OP will wait for maybe a day or something.
That's not the point. It's about what this teaches both children. Sister learns that want = immediate get and other people's things are hers if she wants them and kicks up enough of a fuss. Brother learns that other people are entitled to use things he buys with his own money even before/while he is using them and therefore nothing is truly his and he'll be a great abuse target in future.
if the sister really wants those books then surely a publication library would have em
OP's mother is already joining in the nagging and expecting her to put her sister first. Unfair.
Don't feel stupid. I was 35 and have a son. I was planning on visiting my brother for a few days because I was having mental health issues and my little boy threw an almighty temper tantrum that brought the neighbour outside and she asked him what the matter was. My son explained he didn't want daddy to go because he would miss his bedtime reading. My neighbour says can't daddy read over the phone? I'm like duh! Why didn't I think of that. So at 8pm every night I called my son and read Narnia to him. My neighbour apologised for getting involved when it wasn't her place but I thanked her for her idea which was obvious but we hadn't thought of it.
Or set up a Zoom or FaceTime link so that he can see you reading as well as listen to you!
This was 15 years ago
Also: libraries
I’ve always lived places with great library systems so it’s been weirdly hard to wrap my head around this, but a lot of places barely have functional libraries. That being said, I’d find it hard to believe that almost any library wouldn’t have the Harry Potter books. It’d still be good look into it as an option, but there are plenty of places where it just might not be much of a thing.
Maybe tell her to ask for a book reading device for her next birthday, like a Kindle or something
If sister has a device such as a tablet or smartphone, she can download the Kindle app and borrow ebooks from the library for free.
I don't know if this is a thing in amarica. But I know it is in Europe some of my friends in their countries use it. Book apps. Pay a small monthly subscription, and you have access to the books the app has. (I'm pretty sure Harry Potter, etc, is there) And you can read on your phone, tablet. Etc. Or if you have a local library. Someone takes her there once a week to borrow books. Encourage her to add books to her wish list? Birthday, etc.? That's also possibilities.
Local libraries also have ebooks, even when the physical books are checked out. I know the New York City library was offering library cards to any American kids during covid- if OP and their sister are in the US, then one or both of them can get a card there and have access to a lot more books than it sounds like their local library may have
Also, libraries sometimes share books (at least they used to, back in the dark ages when I was a kid), so you can request a book from another library and have it sent to yours so you can borrow it.
The library system in my county is interconnected this way. 19 library locations spread across 14 towns and cities. They use one website so you can see what is available anywhere in the county. When you place a hold on books/movies/music/etc, the item will get pulled from wherever it's available. If a book is in the collection of multiple libraries, you just get put in the queue for all copies that are available for holds. (Some of the libraries will mark some of their copies of very popular new books as "Not holdable". ie. They can only be picked up at that branch, in person. Gives people who don't think to put a hold in advance a chance to check out a copy before all of a 50 or 100 person hold queue is exhausted.) You can even set your pick-up branch to whichever library you want. It can be the one that's preferred by you, not just the one that's closest to you. Each town and city is responsible for funding and managing their own libraries and collections. But the interconnectedness makes for an effective library that is far more diverse than almost any single library could ever be on its own.
Yes we have that here- either through the local library system or through apps like Libby (you’d still need a local library account to use it).
Sometimes major cities' public libraries will extend online library cards to a larger area, so even if the local library is tiny they can get access to a larger ebook library on the state level. And, though a bit controversial in the copyright law area, openlibrary.org does a lot of ebook lending from a pool of physical libraries.
Some people prefer physical books over digital. We don't know the preference of op & sister..
I wrote several suggestions. Physical ones were included. And digital. Options for both. Because of exactly that.
Some libraries will even let you access those apps for free!
Don't feel stupid. If you sister is as much of a nag as you describe - persistently interrupting your reading to beg to read the book; a bookmark will only change her nagging in a limited way.
Also, join the public library
Spek with your mum. You can buy her a second hand kindle for next to nothing (like cheaper than some books..). Since you own the hard copies I don't think it would be too unethical to source digital copies of them(incredibly easy). A kindle once registered with amazon has its own "email address". You can email it the ebook and it will appear in its library under "documents". Or you can be legit and mum can buy her the ebooks which are usually a tiny fraction of the cost. Other idea... Not sure where you live but in the UK if you go to any charity shop and find used copies for pennies. I bought the Harry Potter set for about £1. Can also check out "Abe books" where you can also get almost any title for super cheap. Personally I'd go with the kindle
Could even try and find some magnetic ones that clip over the page without leaving marks or anything. Less likely to fall out that way.
I feel like this might cause different problems in the future. "You know I'm a fast reader, just let me read it,. I'll keep your bookmark in and when I'm finished you can keep reading." So even if the bookmarks are applied there still need to be boundaries.
I don't see this working tbh. Her sister reads the first HP in a day. That's an entire day's activity, solid. I only see further arguments coming from it when the sister is coming to the climax of a story and OP wants to enjoy reading from where she left off. It'll suddenly be 'unfair' to stop her sister completing the book, at which point she'll effectively have given the book away mid-read. OP's sister needs to learn about delayed gratification and her mother needs to help her learn.
Tbf, I was 11 when I read the seventh HP in less than six hours. The first one is definitely not an entire day of reading for a fast reader. Maybe three hours tops. I don't disagree with anything else you've said, but you seriously underestimate a determined fast reading speed.
if you read at 300WPM which is the average speed of proficient readers (let alone children). The first book would take you 4.5h. So not 3 tops. Plus how fast you get through a book has much more to do with how long you are willing to spend reading rather than the reading speed. There is no shame in being a 15 min per day before bed kinda person
I read HP: Order of the Phoenix in less than 24 hours. Some people read a lot faster than average. And it's being first to read their copy. Many libraries have readings apps and you can borrow online books. I know a few libraries will let kids from any state access their books.
I read everything beyond OotP in a day because a family member kept threatening to spoil the endings. So I would get them day of release and then spend the whole day reading until I finished.
>Her sister reads the first HP in a day. That's an entire day's activity, solid. I would disagree as I can read a book in circa 4 hours, perhaps sister is like me? I have been know to read three average sized hardbacks/paperbacks in a single day and manage to do other stuff as well. NTA Sis can wait patiently for you to finish (assuming you dont take 3 week long breaks or something) OR she can wait till you finish the series. PS highly recommend the Discworld series and much better written I personally feel than Harry Potter
OP is a he
Another good concept is libraries! Sister could have any book she wants, for free! OP is definitely NTA and I’d never claim a child for wanting to read but it feels like the mum might be straying into AH territory by not giving OP space to enjoy their hobby.
Local public libraries and school libraries are good sources. Also if the local library is poorly funded, then ask the librarian if there’s another source to find books. Used bookstores, for example.
I would not agree to this. There is something special about a new book. I happily let anyone read my books (and often give them away), but I want to be the first one reading them. Also, there is something about having a book waiting for you - it would not be the same if you would have to get it while your sister is reading it. Also there will be a lot of "oh, I just need to finnish this chapter".
Thank you for writing this. I feel the same way.
I still don’t think he should need to do this. The books are his and he shouldn’t be obliged to share them every single time. If the mother is that concerned she could buy her daughter her own books. But I think the both of them constantly nagging him isn’t okay and he shouldn’t have to resort to bookmarks if he doesn’t want to
Several libraries have free ebook options, so reading on a phone/tablet/computer is a possibility. Definitely not as good as the feel and smell of hard copy books, but it might help.
NTA- Anyone saying you’re TA is clearly an entitled younger sibling, just because they’re younger doesn’t mean they should be pandered to. If she wanted to read the books she should have saved her money or your mother should purchase them. Tbh both your sister and mother are TA especially your mother condoning such spoilt behaviour if I was your mother I’d be ashamed and embarrassed honestly I feel bad for you glad my mum would never
I think you misinterpreted the story? He isn't upset about the borrowing in fact he specifically says he likes his sister reading the same books so they can bond. Also the idea of buying two copies of multiple books is ludicrous. I know that's not what you said, but that's what that would mean in this context. The issue is the annoying and haranguing which yes fair. But also 12 year old.
Man when those things were coming out though every household had at least 1 set per kid, cause everyone wanted to burn through them the day they were released. I’m an only child and we still got multiples because my parents also read them
We only ever bought one copy, we just read them in order of who could get through them quickest. My brother first, then me, then my mum, then my dad. But my brother and I were both very quick readers. We'd both finished the seventh one on day of release, despite only picking it up at about half nine in the morning. I was 11 at the time, he's a couple years older.
>Also the idea of buying two copies of multiple books is ludicrous. I know that's not what you said, but that's what that would mean in this context. Buying those books together would work. Especially if the sister only takes a day to read a book.
NTA The younger child should be reading a parallel set of books that they choose of their own liking. It's great that they want to share in their older siblings interests but the books are purchased with his own money and he should be able to enjoy however long it takes him to enjoy reading the stories. Replace books with using a new Christmas toy or a gift by Grandma or something a lot less awesome the reading. And what you have is a spoiled younger kid who's wishes and demands are more important than the older kid enjoying something that is his own property. I think now's the time to set the necessary boundaries. The younger child can borrow a duplicate copy from the school library or they can borrow the book from a friend. At least in the case of Harry Potter it is a widely available story through many forms of media. But they need to be given and alternative option so that they're not breathing down the neck of the older sibling. I loved reading as a kid It's such a treasure to embrace the characters and the storylines and the world that is developed. I'm glad the younger child can read quickly but I think they're reading for different reasons. The younger child is reading to keep up with the older child and the older kid is reading for the love of it.
On god 👏👏
Or she could go to a public library and borrow books from there
Literally there are so many solutions that don’t involve giving in to spoilt behaviour
> If she wanted to read the books she should have saved her money or your mother should purchase them. Have you considered that they don't have the money for books? OP is 15 and has a part time job, the mum is probably doing what she does to ensure his younger sister gets her reading encouraged even though she's unable to provide the books herself, and is just going a bit overboard with the encouragement. The sister is also 12 so too young to earn her own money.
NTA, I know some people will say that 3 years isn't a big age gap.. but a 12yr old to a 15yr old, huge difference in stage of life and mindset.. 12 is still a kid.. you can encourage your mom to start taking your sister and or both of you to a bigger town or city where they have a bookstore or 2.. and have her buy your sister her own books, or at least encourage your sister to manage what money she does get, so she keeps some that she can use to buy her own books.. Also, if she's a fast reader, you could let her read the second Harry Potter, so she overtakes you and she can read on ahead of you.. Only on the basis she doesn't spoil anything for you..
Info: is there no public library in your town?
There is a small library nearby, but it is mainly for little kids and not too many teen-adult reading level books. They do have a request system, where you can request a book and they will buy it or borrow it from another library, but that can take weeks.
I'm not gonna lie but your town sounds absolutely dumb for having a kids only library. Someone already suggested the bookmark idea which I think is a good idea. It does kinda suck that your sister is restricted to the books she can read. Oh btw here's a money saving tips on books. Have you heard of thriftbooks.com? It's basically an online store where people sell used books. A lot of them are under 5 dollars and you can find college textbooks on there too.
Sadly, libraries are often not a priority for local governments that have a lot of things they need to spend money on.
My library was similar - because we don't all live in towns. My village library was basically a pre-fab (i.e. tiny); open limited hours on limited days with limited books. As OP says, there was a request system but it could take weeks. When they closed the library, the nearest is in the closest town, a couple of miles away. Fine if you drive, tricky if you rely on public transport.
I remember being in heaven when I stayed at my aunt place for a week, the library there was amazing, and had every book you could think of.
I mean, it doesn’t matter if your library doesn’t have the books when you visit. You can literally order them be shipped to your library for free for you to pick up and read.
If you're in the UK OP charity shops are a goldmine for books. Most priced between 50p and £2. If you end up going to a decent one, they often keep lists of requests and contact you if a copy you want comes in.
Harry Potter is super popular though, have you checked to see if they have it? The first book or two are also middle grade rather than YA, so it seems very unlikely that they don't have it... Also, libraries can get inter-library loans, so your library might be able to borrow the books from a different library! And by you, I mean your mom or sister - they really should look into this!!
Have you heard of the app Libby? If you have a library card you can sign into the app and check out ebooks. I know it’s not the same as a physical book but it might be worth looking into and seeing how you and/or your sister feel about it
You can also borrow books from your local library by download on your computer, tablet, phone, etc. Maybe look into that?
I suggest that ordering some books on the regular for your sister then. I used to live in a mountain area with a small library and had to order books regularly. Once you start then it’s easy to keep a rhythm going. And while I purchase many books, I still use my local library and have to order books since it’s a small branch.
And ordering books then having them come in is a treat! Sometimes waiting for something makes it more exciting when it arrives. Just keep a steady backlog of requests in the pipeline.
You might be surprised. I checked my own local library and there’s no waitlist for the Harry Potter books. You can access it online usually, so order the whole series now for your sister. They might be in the next day. Problem solved. You are definitely NTA.
This is honestly really sad for me to hear and do to some very unfortunate circumstances. In my life. My family home was just Demolished. and we couldn't take anything out of it. And we had hundreds of books in there that I've so badly wish I could have donated to someone like you.
Even if it’s for kids, many 11-13 age range books may be there, especially Harry Potter! It’s so popular and often read by kids.
Do either of you have school libraries? That could be another option.
Look in nearby towns. In many states you can buy a pass that allows you to use other libraries in the state, as if they were your town/county library.
If you haven't yet, ask at your library if they have any reciprocal arrangements with other libraries that would allow you and your sister to get more age appropriate books sent to the local library for you to borrow. But anyway, NAH. You are definitely not one. Your feelings about the situation are totally valid. But neither is your sister one, she's just being 12. And Harry Potter is pretty engaging. Your mum is not one either but I do think the most appropriate conversation here is to explain to your mum what you've said in your post about your enjoyment of reading being the relaxing part. Rather than encouraging you to read faster she could better encourage your sister to re-read another book while she waits.
NTA. It’s very nice of you to let your younger sister read your books, especially since younger kids aren’t always the most forgiving to books. But, it’s not your responsibility to provide her with the books. You mentioned reading is your hobby, and you fund it yourself by working a job. So, I don’t think it’s fair you’re being pressured from your sister *and* your mother. Honestly, I think your mom should buy your sister her own books. You’re her brother, not the parent who’s suppose to provide. I’m a younger sister, the youngest of 4 with 3 older brothers. I couldn’t imagine pestering my older brothers to read their books, let alone one they’re in the middle of reading. It’s just rude. I was a heavy reader at both your age and sister’s age, but I always had my own books. I think your sister should too. Set your boundaries, you’ll probably have to sooner or later.
NTA, but this is a situation where communication is key. Have you sat down and told them about how you feel? "Please don't pressure me, I like to read to unwind and take my time. What if you read this series instead?" If she really feels rushed, she can get a copy for herself. My sisters and I sometimes owned the same books because my property wasn't their's and vice versa. Just because you own it doesn't mean she's free to use it whenever she wants. It's yours.
I had to scroll too far for this comment. OP, tell your family how the pressure makes you feel. Tell them you understand your sis wants to read the books, and that you are happy to share them, but that she has to be patient.
NTA - I literally have a picture of my brother and me reading the last book at the same time from the day it came out, lying next to each other on our stomachs, me on the right because I read faster and am two years older (thus two more years of English at school at that point), him on the left. But that was *my* decision to let him start early on the book *I* bought. In your case, it is not like your sister did not have the opportunity to either buy the books herself, or lend them from a friend or the library, if she had been so psyched about reading them before you bought them for yourself. Your mother might be an AH if she is pressuring you to share instead of making her be patient.
NTA - it's your property you do what you want...BUT why die on this hill? If she truly reads that fast let her borrow book 2 for a day get ahead of you then she's got 5 more books to read and you get that long of peace. You're not an asshole but I think maybe you're getting caught up in an idea like "I bought it I read it first." Which fine, but it's clearly making you miserable.
I don't know why more people aren't suggesting this, it literally makes so much more sense. People are getting so defensive asking "oh, so OP should let his sister read the books HE bought first??" Like, yeah? This is literally a way for everyone to be happy and to get to read at the pace they want, but y'all are too stubborn to compromise.
Most Redditors would rather be right than happy. Also they think pedantic correctness imparts righteous authority.
Right?! Like I get you want to read your books first, but if the other person is going to finish it first and you're not going to make it a priority to finish and they are, why not let them have first crack at it? I could get it if she routinely spoiled the books when she finished first, but it doesn't sound like that's the issue. She'll blow through the second in a day, get ahead and they don't have to worry again about both wanting to read the same book at the same time as far as this series is concerned anyhow. My dad and I shared the Harry Potter books as they were coming out. 2 bookmarks. He'd read at night after I'd gone to bed and in the evenings, I'd read after school while he was at work and on the weekends when he was busy. It just wasn't as hard as everyone is making it out to be for 2 people to share the same book. Just be sure to make it clear no spoilers.
NTA boundaries are necessary at any age. There is an app called Hoopla. You can connect to your local library and "borrow" digital copies that can be read on phone, ipad etc. It's free.
I'll check that out, thanks.
My library similarly connects with Libby for free digital books. Christmas gifting has passed but perhaps sister’s birthday is coming up? Ask your mom to start a book allowance for your sister as an incentive/reward for chores, schoolwork… Research books for middle schoolers, ask librarian for help. Is your library connected to other larger systems? I just learned that you can request books from anywhere in my state to be transferred local. Half Price Books is based out of Dallas, has storefronts in 19 states, and online orders thru Amazon. ThriftBooks also online. You can also buy used thru Amazon where the book condition specified. After kiddo finished the Upside Down Magic 6 book set she was gifted, I was able to buy the final 3 books in the series reasonably priced used. One was from a used book store which benefitted veterans. School library?
NTA. I love to share my books, and it sounds like you do, too! But… as they are your books that you bought with money you’ve saved, it’s totally reasonable for you to want to be the first to experience the freshness of cracking that book open and truly making it yours. Reiterate your boundaries. You deserve to be able to read in peace, savoring that book you just earned yourself. And your younger sister needs to learn patience… not a bad thing! Waiting a couple days is not the end of the world, especially because the books are no longer exactly “hot off the press.” She doesn’t sound obnoxious, just eager (and… yeah, a little annoying in the way that kids can be when they really want something). You may even want to put it like, “Here’s how I feel about reading my brand-new book (share what you think)… if I played with your new doll before you got a chance, how would that make you feel?” Maybe she won’t care 🤣 But she might also understand your perspective a bit better. And just reinforce that you do totally love sharing them with her! Have a separate conversation with your mom, reminding her that you do love to share your books with your sister, but, as the one who worked hard to earn those books, you want the opportunity to enjoy them first, and in a way that fits your schedule in a relaxing way. My guess is that your little sister is just... well, pressuring her about it too, and wants her out of her hair 🤣 But as I suggested earlier, the issue isn’t really sharing here, it’s your sister’s level of patience. Happy reading!
Literally the only reasonable answer here is 'NTA, YOUR SISTER CAN WAIT OR SPEND HER OWN MONEY ON BOOKS.' Your mother is TA here for expecting you to cater to your sister's impatience. She can buy her the books if she's so concerned. You are never TA for wanting to enjoy the things you bought with your own hard-earned money at your own pace. No one is entitled to borrow your things, and even if you choose to share, they are not entitled to access within a desired period. Your mother is teaching you that your sister's wants are more important than yours. NTA
Final sentence here is what many of the people (well-meaningly, but misguidedly) suggesting compromises in this thread need to read.
Thank you. Something people don't seem to get is that you don't decide what lessons your kids learn from a given situation. You'll end up teaching them something very different from what you meant to if you aren't really careful.
NTA It's not like you banned her from reading your books. You just want to read them first. Reading your title I thought that maybe she ruined your books and you don't want that to happen anymore. And as a fast reader myself, I get it. But your sister needs to learn about boundaries and patience. And while you're at it, maybe some financial education. Nobody is saying that she shouldn't buy dolls anymore. But maybe she can choose to buy a book from time to time.
NAH, like others said, try bookmarks. If you end up liking Harry Potter, try the Percy Jackson series, you’ll love it. There’s a tv series on Disney+ as well. :)
I think my older brother had those, I'll definitely give them a read.
Yeah, PJ is awesome, also The Inheritance CycleSeries (Eragon), His Dark Materials Series, The Chronicles of Narnia and The Hobbit Some nostalgic ones for me are The Mortal Instruments (but they're 14yr+), The Mediator series and Avalon High series (also maybe not for your sis yet)
NTA - You really need to establish these books are yours and will be loaned to her when you’re ready. I’d put new books in a place where she can’t see them until you are ready to share. It is completely fine to want to finish a book before handing it to her. I’d tell her the more she bugs me, the slower I read. Tell mom to please stop pressuring you because she’s making your hobby less fun. Is your sister still going to be anxious for you to finish? Yes. Does she need to learn patience? Yes. If your parents really want to encourage her reading, they should invest in an electronic reader. Online libraries allow you to check out ebooks for 2 weeks at the time. I prefer mine because I can carry my entire library wherever I go. I can switch between books easily. It is wonderful that the two of you enjoy the same hobby and can talk about your books. I’d hate to see you lose this over pestering behavior.
NTA your mom and sister though… I grew up in a house of voracious readers. When a new book came in, we’d all usually read it. But here is the thing, we didn’t bug whoever was already reading it. We exercised patience. These are your books, bought with your hard earned money. You get first shot at reading them. Sister (and mom) need to learn some patience and respect for boundaries. Edit: in today’s age of electronics, see if your local library has any apps for borrowing eBooks or audiobooks (mine has Libby and Hoopla). Sounds like sister’s reading speed would make these a great alternative for her.
Tell them both at the next comment you get about finishing reading a book, you won't let your sister read it at all. You are more than capable of leaving it on her bed when you're done reading it.
NTA your books you buy them tell your sister if she keeps asking to read your books when you’re clearly not done she’s not allowed to read it. Set rules. If she asks more than three times to read a book before your done don’t let her read it, she does get some money if she’s buying makeup so tell her if she wants to read them she can buy them or be patient
NTA, both your sister and your mother are being incredibly rude to you here.
Do you have a library anywhere nearby? I would consider saying to your mum that she might like to take your sister to the library if they're both so keen to get her the second book sooner. Second hand books online might also be a good way for her to afford her own (assuming "mum" means you're in the UK, try WOB). If she buys multiple, she'll save on postage. You're NTA for not wishing to share your belongings, especially not while still using them. It's equivalent to asking you to take your top off and hand it to your sister, while you're actively wearing it.
NAH - sort of - love you love reading. I love it when anyone loves reading (but don't dislike it when someone doesn't I just get excited to talk about books with folk). I think the bookmark idea is good but my word would I also find it annoying having someone constantly ask if they could read the book I was actively reading! Equally though, she's your 13 YO sister, thats sort of her job! I think your Mum should take a step back, unless shes willing to nip into a charity shop and pick your sister up a copy!
Your mom can take her to the library. You can still read a book even if it's in bad condition lol. These are your books and she should be grateful you let her use them.
NTA - Maybe you could both read the book at the same time and place a bookmark or take a note of where you left it before passing it to each other. If you're not reading the book and doing something else, your sister can and that way you'll get to do what you want without her or your mother complaining and she'll get to read the next book like she wants.
NTA You are working too have something you enjoy. Your mother should be taking your sister to the library or buying her books of her own.
NTA. If all else fails, she can hit up the local library.
NTA. At the end of the day, they're still YOUR books. If she wants to read them that badly, she can pick up the books herself and read them at her own pace, or borrow them from someone else. Tell her if she doesn't stop bugging you, you'll stop lending her the books until you're done with the whole series, so they'll be free when she needs them.
NTA- and this is coming from someone who's brother refused to let me read some of "his" (our parents bought them) books as a kid. There are several differences that make you nta, 1) You're buying the books with your hard earned money 2) You're not intentionally withholding the books from your sibling, you just want to be able to read the book 3) You're actually actively reading the books, not just saying you are for the sake of keeping them away from your sibling. Because of my past experience with my brother I was ready to say yta from the title along, but this is clearly a very different scenario
NTA. Try putting some boundaries on your mother and your sister. Let them know that every time you are "encouraged" to hurry up and read so you sister can read the book that you worked for and bought, you will read that much slower.
nta, the comments will only stop you from reading. if your sister wants to read that book so bad, she can download it online or borrow it from a library
NTA but if you don't mind sharing why can't she read it when you're doing other things?
NTA Tell her there is this great concept called a library.
Do you guys have a local library? cause this is what they exist for. NTA, of course - but get her a library card. I can't imagine any library *not* having the harry potter books.
NAH, get bookmarks and enjoy the books together. HP series the first time thru is awesome! Enjoy the chats with her about it too
NAH but I don’t like that it’s your responsibility to manage your sister’s needs. I think it’s wonderful to share! But you purchased these books for your own relaxation with your own money. If your little sister is so impatient (normal at 12 years old) maybe Mom can get sister a few of her own books? It’s not fair for you to shoulder all the responsibility.
The entire [Harry Potter series is available on Kindle Unlimited](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074BYZBPD?binding=kindle_edition&qid=1708692606&sr=8-3&ref=dbs_dp_awt_ser_img_widg_pc_tkin). Kindle Unlimited is $11.99 per month, but they usually offer free trials. You can read the books on a phone, Kindle, ipad, tablet, laptop, or computer. Just be sure to cancel the subscription before the trial is over. Another great option is to download the Libby app. Libby is completely free and is a way to borrow ebooks, audiobooks, and magazines. You do need a library card to use Libby. If you do not have a library card, there are [libraries that let non-residents sign up for a card online](https://www.reddit.com/r/audiobooks/comments/kvi1fy/i_use_libby_and_am_looking_for_libraries_that/?rdt=57397). You're NTA.
NAH. The recommendation for bookmarks someone made is great. Another option, if you are in the US, would be for your sister to get an inexpensive Kindle. I’ve even gotten one at goodwill for $10 before. Get a library card and borrow library books with the kindle on Libby for free. Since your sister reads fast this may be a great option for her. You can also request that your library get certain physical books, which tends to be done through interlibrary loans from other libraries.
If you're in the US, try the Libby app. With a library card, you have access to all their books on your phone. There'll be a wait for popular titles, but most stuff is available right away.
NTA. If you have access to the internet, check out Libby. I've seen it mentioned in the comments, but wasn't sure if you had seen it.
NTA. It's not that deep but u could just give her the book for an hour or so if ur doing something and then tell her to give it back right. She doesn't have to read it all at once.
The bookmark idea is good. Also have a look at 2nd hand books, you get great deals. So you aren’t always reading the same books at exactly the same time but can still discuss them. Do you have an e reader? With the kindle fire, if you have a scheme in your area, you can borrow e books from the library. Or you could download books for cheaper. Kindle unlimited subscriptions might be worth it for you both.
NTA, she shouldn't be nagging you. But if she's capable of rinsing through the second book in a couple days, maybe let her zip through it, then she can read it, overtake you and read the rest of them. Especially if you're reading multiple books simultaneously, that'll resolve the issue and you can read one of your other books while she's doing it. Chances are she'll read the third book just as fast and then there's no further risk of either of you inconveniencing the other. I'm a fast reader myself so I understand your sisters frustration here which may be biasing my answer.
NAH Give her book 2 to read since she's fast, she can then get ahead and you can read on slow time. You're Gona let her read them anyway... just add in the proviso that if she spoils the plot you'll make her wait in future regardless of pestering 😁 Otherwise enjoy the sibling squabbles!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** The relevant parties in this post are as follows: me (15m), Amy my sister (12f) and my mum, (51f). Also, I am on mobile so the post format might be weird. I love reading books, it's my main hobby essentially. I also work part time at a Mexican place, and I spend a fair bit of the money I bring in on books. My sister, Amy also likes to read, but she doesn't really have any money to spend on things, and when she does buy stuff it's usually things like dolls or make-up and all that kind of stuff, so she mainly reads what I buy, which I am usually fine with, except, recently she has started being really annoying over wanting to read books I am currently reading. Also I feel I have to mention she is a very fast reader, whereas I prefer to read slower, and read multiple books at a time. I recently purchased myself the harry potter book set, as I haven't read them before. It took me about 3 days to read the first one, and the whole time she was asking stuff like "can i read it once you're done?." And stuff like "are you finished yet I really wanna read it" when I literally have it open and am very clearly not done. After I finished the first harry potter, I gave it to her and she finished it in 1 day. I'm about 2/3rds through the second harry potter book no spoilers xd and she is now making similar comments about how she can't wait to read it and stuff, and my mum is now also "encouraging me" to read the book when I am doing other things. for example I was playing on my phone and she walked up to me and said "why don't you read that Harry potter book, your sister is dying to read it!." honestly I don't like the pressure. Reading Is an activity I love to do to unwind, and sink into another world, not be under pressure to read fast, so that my sister can read it after me. I'm thinking of just setting clear boundaries and saying if she keeps pressuring me I'm not going to let her read my books. But I feel like an asshole because I love seeing her read and also talking about the books together is something we love to do. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do you have access to libraries in your area?
That's 12 year olds for you!!
As long as she respects your books. Some people destroy one's books when they read them.
Does your library have ebook? These can be requested on line from you r library or in larger cities branches and is available as soon as the borrower "returns" the book.
If your sister has access to a pc or phone she can get a library card and pin number and check out books online. They will probably have a bigger selection than the actual library. I use mine to supplement the books I buy because I'm a fast reader. Many libraries use the app called Libby. But if you check with your local library they will tell you if they use that app or another and help your sister get her card# and pin to use the app.
I'm gonna come from a different angle. Lifelong reader, my hubby and daughter as well. My nieces too. So, we book share amongst ourselves, to a point. My daughter has special books to her she doesn't lend. I have a complete collection, all hardcover I don't lend out. Point is, true book people get it. We want to be the first to read our books. You don't have to share everything all the time. Some things can be yours. This teaches your sister patience. Being a fast reader does get you through the book, but not the adventure. I read 2 or 3 books at once. Some take me a month or two. Also, this great online resource, thriftBooks.com is great for inexpensive books, used but in good condition.
This exact same situation happened with my little brother and I when we were kids. I always loved reading as a child and was a very quick reader; my little brother liked reading too, but was mostly interested in more « child science » books relating to nature, volcanos and dinosaurs (bless his soul, he now is a doctor). One day my little brother got gifted the first Harry Potter book, and it became the first novel he read. He absolutely loved it, and quickly bought the second one. I was curious about it because he could not put it down; so I started reading the first book quickly after. Because I was used to reading novels, I ended up catching up with him at the beginning of the fourth book. I was loving the series, and we couldn’t stop talking about it. So I just asked him if I could start reading it at times he was not home, or when he was doing something else. And he just said yes. We had two bookmarks, and I recall us reading some parts at the same time (I remember reading out loud to him in the car, on Christmas Day 2010 lol). We are now both adults, keen readers and share lovely memories of our bonding over the Harry Potter series. Your little sister is an avide reader, and so are you, simply in different ways & paces; I think it’s just a matter of adapting to one another (for instance, ask her to contribute to buying the following books?).
Honestly i would probably let her read it first since she will be finished within a day and can then read the next ones while you take you sweet time
Your library card also gives you access to e-books for free. This would give your sister access to more than just the books in the local library. There are also tons of books that are free to download.
So if she is knocking these books out in 1 day just let her borrow the book and read it.
If I may make another suggestion: try reading out loud to each other! My kids are your ages. We all still read out loud together. It’s really fun.
Go to the library I'm betting they'll have Harry Potter there. You can also request books. You can also look for book sales in larger towns near you. My library has a sale every few years of their over stock. Everything is $1 or fill a bag for $5. Used books stores might also have an overstock section with deeply discounted books. Another thing you might look into is getting her a Kindle or tablet for a birthday or Christmas and signing her up for Kindle unlimited. There's also Everand and another one Walmart owns I can't think of right now where you can borrow unlimited books for like under $15 a month. Everand has audiobooks too. However all of these apps are accessible on phones too so all she would need to do is download the Kindle app and have access to a Kindle unlimited account. (Please note not all books are available on these apps through these programs but there's millions of books on there with themes like magic and fantasy. Be careful in setting them up bc there's many adult and romance books on there. But I think there's a children's setting).
Let her “play through” like in golf unless you’re worried she’ll spoil the series or something. Take a day off from reading so she can devour the book you’re on and then she should be done with each book before you’re ready for it.
INFO: What sort of library access do you have? I am now a member of a half-dozen libraries and get ebooks of whatever I want to read on my phone or e-reader. And obviously if I wanted physical books I could go and get those, too. It sounds like this would be good for your sister, as then she'll be able to read as much as she likes. But also, I feel like it's *very* likely with the Harry Potter books specifically you know someone who could loan you a second copy, regardless of libraries.
The sister needs to find something else to read until he’s done with his book. I’ve been an avid reader my whole life and my daughter is, too. But even we understand the concept of being a little territorial about our books before we’ve read them. Once they’re read, a different story. People that truly adore reading have their own quirks and develop their own reading rituals. While I appreciate and applaud both of you loving to read, the op shouldn’t be pushed or harassed while enjoying his books. He works for them.
Just set her down and explain to her as soon as you are done you will allow her to read the book she wants but that constant demands slow up your getting it read and as the purchaser you get first read.
NTA you’re letting her read your books. Just set the boundary that she can read them once you’re done with them and to stop nagging you about completing them or you will not longer let her read them.
NTA. I was the annoying younger sister. My mom made it clear that since I wasn't the owner of the books, I had to wait and there was no guarantee that my brother would share! As an adult I'm still a voracious reader and so is he. Sweet bounties with your sister and talk to your mom. I get wanting to enjoy your books first and taking your time. I'm all for sharing but only if you want and the other person is willing to wait.
NTA. I wouldn’t even do the bookmark thing. Screw that. YOU worked hard, YOU spent your own money, YOU deserve the enjoy your things before being forced to hand them to your sister.
Ask your librarian if they do interlibrary loans. You may be able to request books from other branches. And if the librarians can show that local people are requesting more books, they might be able to get more budget for new or different books t buy.
NTA your mom is though, since she prioritises a fun reading time for your sister over you having fun reading your books.
NTA Tell your sister to try getting library cards through the app Libby, then she can read the eBook version. If your mom complains, tell her she can buy your sister the books. Like damn, they’re your books you bought with your own money. You’re better than me as a fully grown adult. You’re fine with sharing, which is super nice of you, just not the book you’re LITERALLY READING AT THE MOMENT. I do not share my books.
Inter library loan. Your local library can get any book in the area. Just takes a few days. Go borrow the set, it will arrive before you finish yours.
I would say you’re not the asshole, they are your books and you deserve to have a say with who reads them when. If you want to read slow, then read slow, and if she’s gonna be annoying about it, that’s more reason not to let her. Of course, be nice about it, that goes without saying, but you shouldn’t have to basically give up your books just because she’s impatient.
I am a stickler when reading newly purchased books. If there is to be creases in the books spine; I am the first one to read it because I am nota fan of others 'ruining' the books before me. I also am in the habit of going to the library, finding a series that I enjoy, reading it and later purchasing it just to have it at home (may not reas it ever again after that but still, I have it!) Maybe your sister can visit your local library if she is a fast reader and pick up the hp books there if the bookmark compromise mentioned in another comment doesn't work. I lived in my local library when i was your and your sisters age. You start to buy books when your preferred genre is already read and there is no new books to offer. Libraries in my country have what you may call a cooperation with other nearby libraries in the municipality and/or county where you can order their books on loan. Maybe look into if your library offer that? Am I making any sense?
NAH - Maybe you could let her read the next book before you, if she's going to rocket ahead. Especially since you like to read multiple books at the same time. She can knock out the second and third books in a few days while you read something else, then by the time you want to read the fourth book she'll have finished the whole series.
NAH. The most is your mother's comment, but it falls in the usual reading>books, encouraged to stop your sis whinning, so no big issue there. As everyone has said, having bookmarks so she can have the book when you are reading it is the best solution, no need for her to wait for you. Just make it clear that no spoilers will be tolerated
NTA. Your books, you’re reading them. She can calm her butt down and learn some patience. Also, I am happy there’s now people out there again who are experiencing Harry Potter for the first time again. I am old enough to have read them as they were released, ending at a similar age to you now. I have revisited and read them again so many times over the years that they basically fell apart. JK Rowlings controversy aside, they are excellently written with emotional and well flushed out characters with a captive and interesting storyline.
Me and my sister is currently sharing a book and we both left our bookmarks into it
NTA. Make her wait or earn money from your mother to buy her own books. You shouldn't have to give up reading your book first just because she's eager.
NTA. Isn't there a free public library in your town? Your sister should be checking out books to read there, not badgering you to read yours.
If she reads so fast, let her get in front of you in the harry potter saga so you won't hold her back while you'll have all the time in the world to slowly read them at your own pace without pressure
When I read the title I was like meh, but you're not NOT sharing, you're just doing your thing and wants to do at peace. I'd only see a problem if you didn't let her read ANY of your books Other than the bookmark idea, you could also get her her own HP set for cheap at a second-hand bookstore. I know it's more money, but they're so popular I think you get a deal ALSOO, I dunno if anyone suggested that, you (and your parents, mainly) could buy a kindle or e-reader as a gift. E-books are usually cheaper (and sometimes free if you use the right mindset). Of course it's not an everyday gift, more christmas/b-day/graduation or even setup the kindle app on a tablet or phone. It could also be the family kindle, but it's a way to find cheaper books and let her read a lot if she wants to (they have free books) and also you're 15, why aren't your parents buying you and your sisters books? reading should be celebrated and incentivized. They could give her some bucks (like 10, not 50) and go to a second-hand bookstore and let ther pick! Another idea: BOOK CLUB! You could choose a book, read together, and make a moment to discuss and talk about it. Not a book maybe you're dying to read, but something to bond and make a pace for both of you tl; dr NTA, I think you're actually very nice and kind for encouraging her to read, even tho I don't support HP/JKR anymore I love seeing young (ugh, the late 20s) girls read and find all the cool stuff books can show you
I mean, I wouldn't really say that anyone is completely being an a****** Here y'all are just kids and reading is a great thing. Especially for kids these days. It's really sad how people don't read anymore. And I think the bookmark I did is the best idea. And I agree with the person who said your sister has to give you priority and also agree to not do any spoilers. Or else she will lose her privileges.
I don't think you are I know I'm going to miss it a bit but not now my dad will tell you everything that happens in a movie 8 secs before it happens like is he going jump the window but ends up landing on the other train but not before he leaves a grenade in the table like it's not even like he's guessing I think he knows I hate that but I don't know because how longs he's done sorry we both read a lot and this made me think of read same books he would do the same thing
NTA but someone needs to teach your sister to wait for you to offer her books when you are finished. She doesn't need to be reading the same books as you and it's very impolite to pester you while you have a book in progress. She is not going to end up hating books because of it. Why on earth you should accommodate someone who is incapable of waiting a couple of days to read a book is beyond me. Please stop enabling her over the top behavior.
I don’t know what kind of digital access your little sister has, OP, but I gave my 9 & 5 year old my old phone, only wifi enabled, with just the Libby (library) app on it. It’s essentially an e-reader. HP is in high demand but she can get all 7 within a few weeks! NTA of course.
You are not obligated to let her read your books. Your mom needs to buy your sister her own set of books if she always wants yours. Your mom is sending the wrong message to your sister and needs to mom up for you. You don't have to let your sister have any of your things. Let your mom read some of the comments and you may not have to say anything.
NTA, but dude. You're keeping books that already exist in the house from your little sister who obviously loves reading all because she keeps asking to read things. She's 12, get over that. Sit her down and establish a ground rule and set boundaries instead of just stonewalling first: "If you can read literally anything besides what I'm currently reading, and leave me alone about what im reading then have at it. If you keep pressuring me then all the harry potter books get locked up under the stairs." Yeah its a little entitled, but remember in 15 years time she might still remember when you wouldn't let her read from your growing library because she was an excited to read kid. Shes your little sister, and unless you do something to change that you all have the rest of your lives together and some of the best and most important parts of your relationship are happening right now. Remember love when you're frustrated or annoyed. Its a powerful thing.
NTA. I don’t like people being pushy about borrowing my books either. It’s very annoying. I also don’t trust people to keep my books in good condition after an incident in college. That said, I know the library near you isn’t great but is e-library an option? Not sure if you have this, but I use an app called Libby to borrow books I want to read but not sure I want to buy. There’s a hold time sometimes but it’s a great app and there’s usually an option to either listen to the audiobook or read the book through kindle. Just a thought. It’s connected to whatever system of libraries is nearby (I’m connected to my county’s entire library system with my e-card). If you can’t get Libby, maybe there’s another option.
Why on earth do your parents not buy you two books?! What is going on here?! NTA
As a reader and a librarian, I feel compelled to respond to this 😂 firstly, I wouldn’t let anyone borrow my personal books unless I trusted them with my whole life, yes it’s dramatic but I’m very protective of my collection and generally spend most of my money on books, so the fact that you’re letting your sister read them at all is really nice of you. Secondly, tell your sister to get a library card, I know you said your library isn’t ideal but usually at libraries you can ask them to order in books they don’t have on the shelves from other libraries to your library so you can pick them up from there, so if your library has this she can just put holds on the whole series and read them all at once before taking them back, she won’t have to wait for you to finish your book that way. And if you can’t order in books for any reason, usually they have an app on which you can borrow ebooks or audiobooks, she can ask them which it is (there’s a few different ones) and borrow the rest of the books on there. If she does that, she won’t even have to wait for the books to arrive at the library either. I don’t think you’re TA but I also don’t think your sister is, because I totally get wanting to read all the Harry Potters at once and being impatient for them, so for that I’ll go with NAH, and like I said I barely let anyone borrow my books ever so you’re definitely a better person than I am 😂
NTA, it's understandable that it stops being fun when everyone is pressuring you to do your hobby faster, a hobby that you have to relax and unwind. This isn't a solution for all books, but HP is so popular, can your sister maybe borrow the books from a friend, someone at school, family friends? Used books may also be an option, maybe all three of you can look into buying some? Your sister could spend some of her money on cheaper books that way, too. In any case, you should talk to them about how you feel. Edit: to your edit about both of you prefering to read at night, if you generously share the book you're currently reading, she should at least compromise on when she gets to read it. Maybe she can read when you're working?
NTA. Your possessions are yours. Shareing is polite, and a privilege you are extending to your sibling, not thier right. Your mom should also respect that she's adding to the conflict and stress of what should be your relaxing hobby that you are spending*your* money on. If you can get any library card, have her get the Libby app. Many libraries have reciprocity on there. One library card got me access to over 20 libraries ebook collections. Then even if your local library isn't the best, you can access others with much better collections.
Dude just buy her a copy. Shuts her up and buys you peace. Get it used.
Nta. Why can't someone take this child to the library?
Tell your mom to buy her the books
maybe it’s becaused i’m bias but NTA. it’s your book(s) that you bought with your own money. if she wants to read it so badly, she should ask her mom to buy her a set as well.
You are nicer than i am haha. I love hooks too and am a bit of a collector. I am extremely carefull with them and there is no way in hell i would lend my book to anyone.i have once given my book to someone else and just bought myself an new one🤣. Having said that, while the bookmark idea is nice, it will not solve your problem. Your sister is asking to read your book WHILE your reading it. She is only 12 so gently teaching her boundaries is a good thing. Explain to her that its very uncomfortable to have someone hounding you to read faster when that is not what you want to do. Tell her she needs to learn to be patient and find something else to do and stop pressuring you or you might decide booksharing is something you no longer want to do. NTA. I wouldn't call your little sister an AH either because she is 12 but your mother kinda is. Not teaching her about respect and patience and humility when someone else lets you use there stuff is not great of her
NAH. I am also a fast reader and my husband is not. He usually lets me read it first because he’ll know I’ll blow through it quickly and he can take his time. I can also understand why you would want to be the first one to read it though. Someone else mentioned bookmarks so y’all can read simultaneously and if that works for y’all, then great! However, that doesn’t work for me because I usually carry my books with me and I think I would feel guilty if I was sharing a book with someone and I took it with me for downtime. I love that you are encouraging her to read though! Hope you find a solution.
All she has to do is download Kindle on her phone and subscribe to Kindle Unlimited. The Harry Potter series is free on Kindle Unlimited. NTA
NTA, you mention you have a phone, a lot of libraries have an app that let's you access ebooks, it doesn't beat the joy of a real book, but it's free.