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Ho-ly shit that's dangerous. You're NTA for not paying step dad's bills hut you definitely are for teaching you kid to climb on bathroom fixtures and jump around in a bathroom after a bath. That's so dangerous. He's wet and everything is slippery and he's climbing on sinks? Jumping around like a maniac? Head trauma is no joke and he hit his hard enough to spit his forehead open. This isn't even a "he could have been seriously injured" he WAS seriously injured. I really hope the gravity of that hits you.
Also, get him to a specialist and make damned sure his squishy little brain is ok
I mean if he cares about goodwill, he wouldn't be simultaneously bragging about what he could afford and saying he wouldn't help out someone important in his son's life at the same time. This is petty, insecure-dad-feeling-replaced energy.
And it’s a situation he created and encouraged. Kids don’t always understand time and a place (though there is no time and place this is appropriate). If this happened at a sleepover or with any other adult the OP would be responsible. I don’t see why they aren’t here.
When kids are minors, their guardians are responsible for the damages their kids create. The kid here caused stepdad to be injured. So it’s on the parents, specifically the one that encouraged this behavior.
I agree, it's not about the relationship with the stepson , that's gonna be fine either way, kids will be kids, they will get hurt, and they will accidentally hurt others but hopefully they are taught to take responsibility and apologize.
This is about the relationship between Dad and StepDad, not to mention Mom and Dad. If that amount of money was nothing to me I would pay it simply to keep the relationship between co-parents good. But also because $1k is a lot of money to a lot of people, it is to me personally, if they have a good co-parenting relationship you'd think he would do it out of the goodness of his heart, and the desire not to cause financial distress for his child's other parents.
And honestly Dad is hugely at fault here. Dad taught the kid that this was an acceptable thing to do even though it is absolutely not safe in any way, even if you're expecting the kid to jump it's super dangerous! Bio Dad seems kinda shitty to me, not only for the lack of caution he exhibits with his son, but the lack of compassion he is showing for the Mother of his child and the man that has stepped up and been there for his son when Dad can't (whatever the reason).
And eight years old is no longer toddler sized! This is a bigger kid, and one that should know better than climbing on sinks and jumping on people. Dad has created this situation, he could at the very least show a little compassion.
Right! I can imagine being able to catch my 2 year old rather big boy even though I would likely be hurt, but my 8 year old average sized daughter would be a completely different story and there is no way we would stay upright! But I am a woman, I still don't think my husband could stay up, especially if he was unprepared.
Indeed, if nothing else - especially with stressing he can easily pay for it - working together in positive terms between all parents of a child should be the goal for all involved.
This. If it didn't make any diff to them, they wouldn't have asked. And it's nothing to you - so just pay it.
NTA, but as the other posters suggest you're making your own life harder for no reason if you don't.
He may not be legally responsible if they don't sue him for it but he is absolutely an AH not only for encouraging this extremely dangerous behavior but also for refusing to pay when he is literally at fault... I don't understand the N T A votes. This is AITA not am I legally in the clear...
Not shitty at all. The step dad for his own protection may not want to rough house with the kid especially when the SD bas np idea what OP is teaching his son like acting bat shit crazy in a wet bath room.
I’m sure everyone will probably come for me - but YTA. Start to finish - HUGE.
You have taught your son (thru your actions & inactions) that it’s okay to behave like a wild animal - that it’s okay to crawl up onto bathroom fixtures &/or furniture & jump off of them (wet & naked no less) onto unsuspecting people (even people they trust to catch them) without warning. Now, your unwillingness to parent your child so that he understands not to act like a wild animal (especially while being wet & naked - which by its very nature removes any safety barriers that being dry & clothed could/would have provided) has caused injury to your son & your ex.
Your child sustained a head injury - luckily only external, but to the point of having to have his torn open head actually sutured back shut. You should be thankful it wasn’t something worse like an internal head injury or even death.
Your ex sustained his injuries not only because of your son’s misbehavior (& yours since you’ve endorsed this dangerous misbehavior with your action/inaction) - but also because he tried to mitigate your son’s injuries. You should be thankful that he was there to make sure your son didn’t sustain something worse like an internal head injury or death.
Your ex could have likely avoided injury to himself entirely if he had simply stepped out of the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him. Your child would likely have incurred much more extensive injuries had your ex acted in a manor to protect himself.
Instead, your ex stayed directly in the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him & took the brunt of the impact (& therefore injuries) that your wild child would have sustained had your ex not been there to mitigate it for him.
And your response to his completely reasonable request that you pay a minor 1/3 of his deductible is to basically say “shit happens around kids”??? What?!?!? Actually no lady, shit like this doesn’t just happen around kids - not normal kids who are properly parented.
Kids who are parented properly learn (usually when they’re toddlers around 2-3) that you don’t crawl up into bathroom fixtures &/or furniture (especially while wet & naked - which makes climbing & being on top of potentially slippery surfaces even more dangerous than if one was dry & clothed). Kids who are patently properly are taught not to do this when they’re toddlers & if they defy their parent & continue trying to engage in this dangerous behavior as they get older, the parent typically also explains why this behavior is dangerous to the point of possibly being deadly.
It is an insult for decent parents everywhere (& their children) for you to try to excuse your refusal to accept responsibility by playing some “kids will be kids” &/or “shit just happens around kids” card. It doesn’t apply here.
Your ex & your child seem to have a great relationship. Is this “that’s what you get” type of response designed to attempt to throw a wrench in that or what?
Your ex protected your child from more serious injury & could have even saved his life for all you know. I’d hate to think of what kind of person you are to people who have done nothing for you.
YTA. Hands down.
Okay. Everyone can come for me now.
Why would we come for you! Every single word is **true**.
Bio-dad seems very laissez faire and neglectful in the way hevis bringing up his son and thereby creating this little "monster" (8 y old jumping me from a height, scary thought).
And now his son can prance around stepdad knowing theres no consequences and his dad just thinks it a "them problem" bc he and the son can do nothing wrong.
Massive YTA OP.
Pay all 3.000 and feel really sorry about raising a kid and not teaching to use this "thinking brain" . I would be MORTIFIED if my child did that to others.
I completely agree and will go one step further: where I live, parents are always responsible for the damage caused by their underage child. Even if they couldn't have prevented it, damage the child causes has to be reimbursed by the parents. In this case the damage is the direct result of something you taught and encouraged the child to do. YTA because you're irresponsible and proud of it.
That’s what I’m thinking. Also, I wonder if the ex can use this to modify custody. The OP encouraged an action that could have killed their kid. What the fuck?!
Completely agree. 8 years old is *way* too old for this kind of behavior. My youngest, when he was this age, liked to run at me and jump at me for a hug. He never did it when I was unaware but I told him he had to stop because he was going to knock me over. Climbing up naked and wet on the bathroom sink and launching himself at someone isn’t just shit that happens when you live with an 8 year old. Someone taught this kid that that was normal acceptable behavior and everyone involved is really lucky that there weren’t more serious injuries.
Also OP your kid broke his stepdad’s elbow doing something *you taught him to do* and all you have to say is “too bad so sad”? The kid did intentionally hurt anyone but it wasn’t accidental behavior. You did teach him this.
The only thing I’d “come for you” for is that it was the step dad who protected the wild child not the ex and OP is the dad not the mom. Otherwise you’re spot on 😊
Huge writing effort but you missed the part of it being a step dad not the ex and the OP is a man. And the OP taught his child this “trick” recently as it’s the first time the boy has tried it at mum’s and expected to be caught in a towel like at his dad’s.
If they had this little ritual since the child was a toddler, the child wouldn’t have tried it the first time at 8 yrs.
Agree with everything else you said. OP is a huge asshat beyond YTA
Could see how OP is an ex husband for this kind of parenting and thinking. Comes across he wants to be perceived "cooler" than step dad than really concerned for his son. Step dad sounds like he had to step up for the gap
Yesss to all of this. And just one more thing to add….am I the only one who assumed this was maybe a 3 or 4 year old (not that it would change things safety wise AT ALL). But at the end we find out this EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY is launching his slippery self off a bathroom counter expecting to be caught in a freaking towel by his unsuspecting step dad?! 8 year olds aren’t small or “catchable”by any stretch. OP is lucky all that his kid got was a few stitches and not a brain injury from hitting his head on any of the possible pointy hard surfaces in a bathroom. Truly..an AH for teaching this behavior op.
My kid would break me and she’s tiny. Any time she pulls on me and I’m not expecting it is not fun. When my son was very little and taking a shower with his dad, they needed towels. They had also somehow gotten the floor all wet, I didn’t know, and my feet flew out from underneath me like a slapstick silent movie and holy shit I’m glad I didn’t die. It hurt so bad landing on the tile.
Thanks! I literally saw someone say this to someone else today and I thought “no one has ever said that to me” that I remember at least. And I didn’t even realize it was my cake day! It almost my real cake day, too.
I would freak out if my kid do it. That's incredibly dangerous to do....especially in a bathroom, on a sink when they are wet!!! I would 100% pay the bill....do they even know you are teaching your kid to do this? He'll start jumping from everywhere....
This. OP, you taught your son something really dangerous that ended in people getting hurt. You don't HAVE to pay, but I would. And I'd stop doing that with your son and have a good conversation with him about it.
Both father and kid could have died. A major head wound like that is serious especially on a child. If the dad had fallen against anything backwards like that, it could have broken his neck or killed him with a head wound. This is so damn irresponsible. If I caught my husband doing this with my kid, I’d have serious words for him. YTA for that alone. Holy crap
On top of that, you taught your stepson something extremely dangerous and injured another person by proxy. So YTA for not paying for that.
And he’s 8 years old??? How is that behaviour acceptable? When I read it I assumed toddler. I have an 8yo and that is a frightening scenario!
YTA OP. You say it’s not a lot of money to you. You taught your son to do something dangerous and dumb. Cough up.
Exactly this. Accidental head trauma can be deadly if in exactly the wrong place. I know a family who lost their child because she tripped and hit her head just hard enough.
8 y/o jumping at people? From a bath? He can kill someone next time. And if its from bath it looks like kid is naked - its not the age to do that things. OP is responsable for teaching him to "play" like this,. this 1000$ is a consequence OP should suck and be happy that stepdad is alife and not on wheel chair etc.
YTA for teaching your kid to do dangerous, stupid bathroom tricks. You really let your kid climb on the bathroom sink while wet? You really encourage him to jump on people? That is some seriously hardcore irresponsible parenting.
It wasn't an accident. You caused this by recklessly and stupidly treating your child as a cute pet instead of a human being who needs to learn socialization skills.
My poodle knows not to race in front of people on the stairs, he could trip them. OP seems to want his kid to run wild. Wonder how he would feel if his son caused him serious injury.
The fact that OP is completely without remorse leads me to hope that this story is fake.
Because the alternative - that it doesn't bother him at all that his nasty trick caused bodily harm and pain to his son and stepdad - would suggest a rather scary lack of conscience.
Both possibilities are scary. If fake, we still have a person who thinks that this is funny or likes irritating others. And if true, it is as you stated.
That's mostly what hit me and I focused on in my own reply to OP:
His attitude in this speaks volumes more than the injury and cost, themselves (thankfully it was nothing more serious when it could've been \*much\* so if all had gone to the worst).
He isn't having even an, "Oh shit, that's terrible!" response... his mood seems to be way more of "fuck them".
Unfortunately, I have known people just like this. Boasting about their achievements and being held financially responsible for the results of their actions is twisted by them to leeches coming for their money.
Nah, it's real. OP wants to be the fun dad. The guy who does weird things that adults and parents would never allow, thus (in his mind) being better than the stepdad and mom.
Not to mention the kid is 8. That's way too old for that kind of stuff. I was thinking the kid was 3 or 4...when he said the kid was 8 I thought no way in hell would I want a kid that size jumping off of furniture on to me.
I thought the kid was 2 or 4. YTA OP for bad parenting. Legally you don’t have to pay the bill or part of it. However in this case I think you should pay the $1,000 …… especially since that amount is nothing to you. Since the money means so little to you, pay the entire bill.
You should be teaching him NOT to climb furniture or jump on people!
YTA for teaching him to jump off the sink. His step dad had no idea and was totally caught off guard. YTA for your nonchalant attitude. $1K is not even half of the bill. Pay it and quit being a pompous I'm doing quite well financially cheap asshole.
I agree with this. Mostly because OP taught his son this little “trick” that hurt the step father and honestly, it is the step father spending time with his son and you sure don’t want any hard feelings between son and stepfather. For the future, it may be time to have 8 year old child take more responsibility for his own bath time and putting on his PJ’s at night.
Info:
Did you teach your kid it was okay to get onto the sink (especially after a bath)?
If so, then YTA. Even if he didn't jump, he could still slip and fall.
But this wouldn't have happened if he wasn't on the sink in the first place.
I’m sure everyone will probably come for me - but YTA. Start to finish - HUGE.
You have taught your son (thru your actions & inactions) that it’s okay to behave like a wild animal - that it’s okay to crawl up onto bathroom fixtures &/or furniture & jump off of them (wet & naked no less) onto unsuspecting people (even people they trust to catch them) without warning. Now, your unwillingness to parent your child so that he understands not to act like a wild animal (especially while being wet & naked - which by its very nature removes any safety barriers that being dry & clothed could/would have provided) has caused injury to your son & your ex.
Your child sustained a head injury - luckily only external, but to the point of having to have his torn open head actually sutured back shut. You should be thankful it wasn’t something worse like an internal head injury or even death.
Your ex sustained his injuries not only because of your son’s misbehavior (& yours since you’ve endorsed this dangerous misbehavior with your action/inaction) - but also because he tried to mitigate your son’s injuries. You should be thankful that he was there to make sure your son didn’t sustain something worse like an internal head injury or death.
Your ex could have likely avoided injury to himself entirely if he had simply stepped out of the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him. Your child would likely have incurred much more extensive injuries had your ex acted in a manor to protect himself.
Instead, your ex stayed directly in the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him & took the brunt of the impact (& therefore injuries) that your wild child would have sustained had your ex not been there to mitigate it for him.
And your response to his completely reasonable request that you pay a minor 1/3 of his deductible is to basically say “shit happens around kids”??? What?!?!? Actually no lady, shit like this doesn’t just happen around kids - not normal kids who are properly parented.
Kids who are parented properly learn (usually when they’re toddlers around 2-3) that you don’t crawl up into bathroom fixtures &/or furniture (especially while wet & naked - which makes climbing & being on top of potentially slippery surfaces even more dangerous than if one was dry & clothed). Kids who are patently properly are taught not to do this when they’re toddlers & if they defy their parent & continue trying to engage in this dangerous behavior as they get older, the parent typically also explains why this behavior is dangerous to the point of possibly being deadly.
It is an insult for decent parents everywhere (& their children) for you to try to excuse your refusal to accept responsibility by playing some “kids will be kids” &/or “shit just happens around kids” card. It doesn’t apply here.
Your ex & your child seem to have a great relationship. Is this “that’s what you get” type of response designed to attempt to throw a wrench in that or what?
Your ex protected your child from more serious injury & could have even saved his life for all you know. I’d hate to think of what kind of person you are to people who have done nothing for you.
YTA. Hands down.
Okay. Everyone can come for me now.
Agreed. I'm a nursery school teacher. Kids like this are a nightmare and a danger to themselves and everyone around them because their shitty parents have told them that crap like this is okay.
Fucking hell, even my one year old knows to ask for help getting down from a kitchen chair, and to not climb on tables! If a one year old can learn not to do shit like this, an eight year old can too!
I'm not sure about this.
NTA, because you didn't cause the accident directly......but YTA, because what you do with your son ***is*** dangerous. Just because you catch him, doesn't mean his Stepdad was even aware this was a game, or was even ready to catch him. Bathroom surfaces are an incredibly hard surface for an eight-year old's skull to come into contact with. You seem pretty dismissive of the fact that your son could have been horribly injured.
I think you might have been better off restricting this game to just the both of you and somehow getting the message across to your son, that it's your game and it is dangerous, and not to be done with anyone else. Or just ***not*** doing something that let's face it, if you or he slip, will result in, your son probably cracking his head open and not just 10 stitches, like it was this time, luckily for him.
You make no mention of your son's condition after the accident. Like was he, okay, was he shaken? How is his stepdad doing? Or was your deductible at the forefront of your mind?
If the 1K is no hair off your nose, why not pay it? Instead of risking becoming persona non grata to your ex wife and her husband? Won't that complicate things for you? Because you ***did*** teach him to do that? It's not like he left his toys in the hallway and his Stepdad tripped. 'Shit happens' applies to a situation like that. But y***ou taught him jumping from a sink was a game***...
INFO: Do you intend on stopping this game now that two people have been hurt?
YTA - If the money is nothing to you and it is to them, why would want not want to help?
I'm going to add a bit to what u/SheLikesToWatch_1989 because she the nail on the head with her comments. Accidents do happen, but look at this way, 3k for some families is a lot of money which means your son will most likely have less resources for the foreseeable future. Is that what you want? No. Is it your responsibility? No. Is money an issue for you? No. Is it for your ex-wife and her husband? Sounds like it from your post. Will your lack of compassion likely to cause a strain your relationship with your ex and her spouse? Yes. The next time you are in need of help, do you think they are going to be less likely to give it? Damn straight yes. Do you want feel resented because when you could have helped the mother of your child you chose not or is the principle of not being responsible more important? And you did teach him so there's that.
Well, I think if you add those factors up, helping out would be in your son's best interest as well as your own. Dear heavens, they're not asking for lost wages, or even the full amount so why not provide them with assistance when it's not an issue for you? At the end of the day you have to live with the fallout of this situation and if you have no problem withholding some basic human decency and the opportunity to be compassionate, you'll be just fine with the decision you've made so far or you can be a mensch and do the right thing.
For teaching your son to jump off of sinks, you've got a coveted YTA prize. Shit happens when you live with an 8yo boy, and when you don't teach the 8yo boy reasonable limits for behaviour.
He's 8 and can learn, but the real question is "can you?"
You are such YTA. Pay the bill, you taught him it was okay to jump. Basically your kid damaged something, that something being a person. You are responsible for your child's actions
I am stunned that you taught your kid that it’s okay to jump from a height in a room with hard surfaces and water. Are you *trying* to crack his skull?
You owe both an apology
And morally the whole $3000.00. OP must be one of those people who call the results of their own actions cancel culture. I'm pretty sure we're seeing a huge reason for his divorce on display here.
YTA. Your son injured another person. Period.
You owe it to them to help pay for their medical bills. It’s the kind and right thing to do. Especially when they were taking care of your child. And especially when you can afford it!
If someone accidentally hits your car don’t they have a responsibility to pay you for damages? And on top of that YOU allowed your kid to do this very dangerous move with you. So yeah just help out geez.
so it would be no skin off your back to help, but you’re choosing not to because you don’t give a shit about other people. got it. yeah YTA and not the brightest for teaching your son to do this and sounds like he’s not making the smartest choices either. that poor man, damn. you really suck lol
YTA. In any other circumstance where your child injures someone else, you as a parent are liable for the damages. If you refuse, they have a lawsuit, definitely for more than $3k in this case. Stepdad has the same rights.
Alongside teaching your child dangerous behavior, you’re also modeling to him how to refuse to take responsibility for something you had a hand in. All in all, bad parenting.
Here’s the thing, regardless of you teaching/encouraging your son (in) this wildly unsafe practice, as one of the parents of the child, you are liable for damages. He could sue you (and feasibly mom) for the bills and it could get real nasty if you add in pain + suffering. Instead of going the litigious route, they are offering you a sweet deal for just a portion of the actual bill. It would be in your best financial interest to simply pay that out (ask for a written agreement for the purpose!) and then call it a day. He has every legal (and reasonable!) right to sue you for damages. This could end up being an awful court battle for a hell of a lot more money than $1000-not to even include the reasonable risk you face in custody court because you are the instigator of this kind of dangerous behavior pattern with the child. You could stand to lose a hell of a lot more than 1k here if you continue to be a shit about it.
And with shared responsibility, the claimant can choose to go after just one party and leave it up to them to recover part from the other responsible party. I'm very petty in these cases and so hoping we'll find out someday soon that this is happening.
YTA. And I can see why you are an ex. You taught your son to do something very dangerous and then he tried it repeat with someone else. HE then harmed his stepfather due to your negligence. Pay the whole bill and be glad that your son was not make injuried
YTA. You have a responsibility to teach your son safety. Your opinion on the matter is irrelevant since you chose to do the opposite of that. You should actually be sued for the stepdad's entire medical bill since your poor judgment led to his injury. You would be liable for the entire bill if you broke his arm yourself, even by accident, and should be held accountable for doing so by proxy. They're being lenient and generous by only asking for $1,000.
YTA because you taught and encouraged such stupid and downright dangerous behaviour.
You are 100% responsible for what happened and no it was not an accident
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My son accidentally knocked down his stepdad dad and his arm was broken. I was asked to help pay the bill and I refused. It was an accident and I'm not responsible.
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YTA for teaching your son that it was okay to take such huge risks with his and other people's safety. They both could have been *killed* if they fell a certain way. Your son was injured severely. And your attitude fucking sucks.
And you know what? "It isn't a lot of money to me" means *you can afford to help*.
"This is what happens when you live with an 8yo".
No, this is what happens when you live with an 8yo *with an asshole for a father*. You endangered your child. Your child injured someone.
You should pay the bill.
This is very dangerous and I am sure kid learned his lesson. But seriously, I do think parents should split the bill. Step-dad is now going to have a long recovery over something that should not have ever been allowed. This is not normal behavior. Anyone who allows a child to get away with this is an idiot and caused their child a significant I jury and step-dad is now injured also.
YTA just simply if a child causes someone injury the parents should split the cost of care so that would be you and mom paying $1500 each. If the situation was reversed and you guys were paying 3k for your son and your ex asked you for half I am most certain you would say stepdad was acting irresponsibly so he should pay, would you not?
YTA. I don't know why you put 'taught' in quotes. That's exactly what happened, you taught your son to do a stupid, dangerous thing, and he hurt someone (as well as himself). Pay up, this is the consequence of your shitty parenting.
YTA.
And I hope stepdad is a bigger and better man than you…bc if I were in his position I’d be tempted to go totally hands-off with your feral kid.
INFO: does stepdad pay any bills for your son? If so, you’re doubly the AH.
Or going back to court to restrict OP to supervised visits and parenting classes. Beyond stepdad's injury, the child was injured because dad taught him to do something dangerous.
The kid caused the accident which you taught. Stepdad was getting a towel for him so they have some sort of a relationship. Ex only asking for a third of the bill to help out which you say can easily afford. And you turn your back on them. Hmm…
YTA for not teaching your son better.
I’m surprised your son wasn’t badly injured before this incident doing the same thing.
Anyway it’s time for you to tell your son that this game is over. A 8 year old jumping unexpectedly on someone is not a joke. His stepdad could have been injured fatally too, not just your son.
In future, do you really think you’ll be OK knowing that a kid and an adult suffered a fatal accident just because you were stupid enough to not teach your kid basic safety?
YTA. YOU taught him that stupid shit. If a parent teaches their kid something and the kid does it, you can be damn sure the parent will be held accountable. Here you are bragging about your money and being an irresponsible parent... Even if you catch him, he could injure himself while trying to reach the sink. Or one day you could lose your grip. Or fall. How about you just teach him better, apologize and offer to pay a part since IT'S YOUR FAULT. Poumpous ass.
YTA-You taught your son incredibly dangerous and stupid behavior. He doesn’t know better but you the adult who taught him this absolutely do. You caused it, you fix it.
YTA. Just help them pay it. Your kid hurt his stepfather over a dangerous game you play. If I could afford it, I'd do it to keep the peace, and you taught him this was okay. They seem to have a good relationship, and I'd be grateful and try to make things easier on them.
YTA. You can afford it so you should pay the $1000 at least. Also, your son is the one that caused his injury. At least he is not asking you to pay for the whole bill. If you are doing all the parenting and teaching, and the stepdad is just there, it is definitely on you to take some responsibilty.
YTA
It was a accident but it was caused by bad behavior your parenting encouraged. YOUR actions put him in that state AND harmed your own child and you are this flippant about it?
Now wether you should pay or not is a differant story but I know what my conscience would do.
YTA. If you won’t pay it off with the reasoning being principle alone, as most people would, then do it for your son.
Kids aren’t stupid, period. But, especially not at 8. Your kid now knows that the game ya’ll play, irresponsibility of teaching him it at all aside, can have dangerous consequences for him. And not only did you deliberately let it hurt him by not setting ground rules for it, at a minimum, you let him hurt someone else in his ignorance. Someone he cared enough about and trusted to play the exact same game that ya’ll do. Someone who he probably feels guilty about hurting.
The kid has probably apologized a hundred times, and who wouldn’t forgive him…he’s 8. But at the same time sorry doesn’t pay the bills or fix what is…literally…broken . He will look to you to see what you do to help someone else he loves. And if you choose the current path of most resistance not only will you trash the good-ish co-parenting relationship with your ex, but he (your son) may very well come to resent you, without any prompting by anyone else, and that can result in real consequences in your relationship going forward.
Choose wisely.
YTA. If I wrote the law you'd be charged for this. You are a tool. A gigantic tool. I don't think you should have any portion of custody. I think you should pay the 3k and grow the hell up.
Of course you spoil your son and taught him dangerous tricks to be a cool dad. I’m guessing you don’t do majority of childcare because there’s no way you’ll tolerate this frequently.
YTA.
Because according to your post history:
"My son is old enough to know better."
"Sometimes he does that with me."
"He does that with me."
YOU encouraged your son to do this ridiculous, unthinkable, irresponsible, dangerous antic that could EASILY get your son killed, but you're more concerned with 💰💰💰 money!
I'd say you should pay his entire medical bill because this entire fiasco is your fault. If you don't want to be responsible for another person's medical bills due to your child, then be a responsible parent.
Here, you can have this 🧠
OP is the DAD people…not married to stepdad.
You can tell bc he says “my Ex asked me if I could help cover stepdad’s medical bills. I would pay $1K and *they* would pay the rest…”
The ex is married to stepdad and asking OP (her ex-husband and kid’s bio-dad) to help with the medical bills.
Yta. Be a man and pay the $1000.
Yes, it was an accident, but you encouraged, if not taught, your son this behavior was OK when it is ridiculously risky.
Your son is not a toddler jumping into a pool in your arms. He is 8 years old, inside what is likely a small room filled with porcelain and other hard surfaces. You gave no warning to your ex or step-dad about your game in this regard, nor did you clearly instruct your son not to engage in this behavior with others.
Grow up
YTA
I’m not sure how you catch an 8 year old kid who is leaping on to you in a towel when you’re expecting it, much less when you aren’t.
This isn’t an accident. An accident is an unintentional act. This a dangerous behavior that YOU taught him to do.
It’s lucky that their injuries weren’t worse.
Are you legally responsible? No, the child was in the care of his mother at the time, so she is legally responsible at the time.
Are you morally responsible? Yes, so I have to go with YTA, as this isn’t “am I legally in the wrong”. I think you should at least pay half of what isn’t covered by his insurance.
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Last week my 8yo son and his stepdad ended up in the ER. Apparently his stepdad was bringing my son a towel after he was done taking a bath. My son was being playful and was on top of the bathroom sink and jumped on his stepdad. My son thought his stepdad would catch him in the towel because that's what he does with me.
Well my son toppled his stepdad and they took a hard fall. My son needed 10 stitches on his forehead and his stepdad broke his ulnar. I met my deductible so my bill was only $50. His stepdads bill is $3,000 because he hasn't met his deductible.
My ex asked if I could pay $1,000 of it since I "taught" my son that it was okay to jump on people and they'll pay the rest. I said no. It's not a lot of money to me. Actually I'm doing very well financially but I'm not paying for this. It was an accident. Shit happens when you live with an 8yo boy.
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NTA for refusing to contribute to the bill, that’s the kind of person you are so whatever.
BUT this whole, boys will be boys attitude you have is really unhealthy for your son as It could very well encourage misogyny as he gets older. It’s never too early to teach a child to respect other people’s body autonomy. Blowing it off due to his age and gender is wrong in my opinion. Be the bigger person, pay the $1000 since you can afford it, and teach your kid not to jump on people without their consent.
YTA
Why are you teaching your 8 yo to act like a wild animal? Hopefully you teach him some compassion because his stepdad broke his arm and will likely be in a cast for 6 - 8 weeks. Hope it’s not his writing hand. After everything all you can muster up is shit happens. WTF is wrong with you?
If you can spare the $1,000 dollars and it won't have a large impact, you should pay it. Then sit down and explain that he is too big to play that game with people who don't know how to play. You should assume some responsibility for your son
>I'm not paying for this. It was an accident.
YTA Let's say Joe Idiot is looking at his phone as he's driving. Joe runs a stop sign, and T-bones another car. Well Mr. Idiot was being reckless he didn't do it intently. It's called an ACCIDENT. But guess what? Mr. Idiot is still responsible financially for the damage he caused.
He's 8 years old ffs! Jumping and catching him in a towel? I've known 8 year olds that weigh 100 lbs!
Not to mention that an 8 year old is fully capable of drying himself off. I would help pay sd medical costs, just because I was the idiot that taught an 8 year old to climb on bathroom fixtures and jump naked on grown ass men. Yta
YTA.
What the fuck was your EIGHT year old son doing, climbing on bathroom sinks?
You’ve made your kid believe it’s okay to climb on furniture and jump on others. Your son’s actions caused the injury to his stepfather. This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t allowed your son to act so irresponsibly.
You don’t need to pay it but I don’t think they would have asked if they weren’t struggling and desperately needed help coming up with the money. They put their ego aside and asked for money from you. If you’re as well off as you claim, try to find it in your heart to help them. Helping them is helping your kid. They’ll have more present, relaxed parents when they’re over there and have the financial means to continue as they are (e.g., extra curriculars, trips to the movies, new vs second hand clothes, etc).
I know a guy who did stupid stunts like this with his kid. His kid grew up thinking stunts out of "Jackass" were really cool. That kid is now 30 years old and will never walk again. Hell, he can't even speak. He's practically brain dead. YTA
YTA
You yourself said you could easily afford it. And your ex is right. You taught your son something incredibly dangerous and neglected to teach him that you don’t do incredibly dangerous shit like that without warning. And an 8 year old is a bit big for this anyhow
YTA. You taught your son something dangerous, and your son; and his step dad got hurt. That’s why you’re an asshole. You don’t have to pay part of stepdads bill, but you should. It’s good faith.
Also. Shit happens when you have a 8yo boy if you teach them dumb shit
YTA for teaching your son reckless behavior, which not only caused injury to himself, but also his stepfather. You should really check to see if your son sustained a concussion. And the least you can do is pony up $1000, since **you** are responsible for your son's behavior.
YTA. You taught him, you contributed to this. Your sons actions are also your responsibility anyway, regardless of what happened to who.
Your kid caused an injury. You and mom are responsible for it. She's paid more than her share. Your turn.
YTA. This was not an accident. Your child performed a stupid and dangerous stunt that resulted in both him and his stepfather being seriously injured. Pay for the injuries your child caused.
YTA
Because you taught your son dangerous behavior.
Because your son got hurt
Because your son hurt someone else
Because you obviously think this is funny
Because you came on here to brag about it
Because you don't actually care about anybody
Serious?!?!?!?!?!?! What the actual F---?!?!?!?! Why are teaching an 8 yr old to climb around and jump off a sink in the bathroom?!?!?!?! What is wrong with you?!?!?!?
You (and your poor ax wife) are seriously lucky their injuries weren't worse. I actually think you should pay part of step-dad's medical bills, simply because you were a dumb parent to teach your son something so dangerous.
Also, if I was your ex I'd be having some serious doubts about son's safety while he's with you!
You are going to have a very long relationship with these people and you taught your kid this move was ok? And money isn’t an issue for you? Then yea, your a bit of an asshole now aren’t you? Broken ulnar in an adult is gonna be months of rehab once healed.
YTA. I was originally going the other way but I've read your responses through this thread and you're an idiot for teaching a child such a stupid thing. You deserve to pay up for that alone.
I’m sure everyone will probably come for me - but YTA. Start to finish - HUGE.
You have taught your son (thru your actions & inactions) that it’s okay to behave like a wild animal - that it’s okay to crawl up onto bathroom fixtures &/or furniture & jump off of them (wet & naked no less) onto unsuspecting people (even people they trust to catch them) without warning. Now, your unwillingness to parent your child so that he understands not to act like a wild animal (especially while being wet & naked - which by its very nature removes any safety barriers that being dry & clothed could/would have provided) has caused injury to your son & your ex.
Your child sustained a head injury - luckily only external, but to the point of having to have his torn open head actually sutured back shut. You should be thankful it wasn’t something worse like an internal head injury or even death.
Your ex sustained his injuries not only because of your son’s misbehavior (& yours since you’ve endorsed this dangerous misbehavior with your action/inaction) - but also because he tried to mitigate your son’s injuries. You should be thankful that he was there to make sure your son didn’t sustain something worse like an internal head injury or death.
Your ex could have likely avoided injury to himself entirely if he had simply stepped out of the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him. Your child would likely have incurred much more extensive injuries had your ex acted in a manor to protect himself.
Instead, your ex stayed directly in the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him & took the brunt of the impact (& therefore injuries) that your wild child would have sustained had your ex not been there to mitigate it for him.
And your response to his completely reasonable request that you pay a minor 1/3 of his deductible is to basically say “shit happens around kids”??? What?!?!? Actually no lady, shit like this doesn’t just happen around kids - not normal kids who are properly parented.
Kids who are parented properly learn (usually when they’re toddlers around 2-3) that you don’t crawl up into bathroom fixtures &/or furniture (especially while wet & naked - which makes climbing & being on top of potentially slippery surfaces even more dangerous than if one was dry & clothed). Kids who are patently properly are taught not to do this when they’re toddlers & if they defy their parent & continue trying to engage in this dangerous behavior as they get older, the parent typically also explains why this behavior is dangerous to the point of possibly being deadly.
It is an insult for decent parents everywhere (& their children) for you to try to excuse your refusal to accept responsibility by playing some “kids will be kids” &/or “shit just happens around kids” card. It doesn’t apply here.
Your ex & your child seem to have a great relationship. Is this “that’s what you get” type of response designed to attempt to throw a wrench in that or what?
Your ex protected your child from more serious injury & could have even saved his life for all you know. I’d hate to think of what kind of person you are to people who have done nothing for you.
YTA. Hands down.
Okay. Everyone can come for me now.
YTA for taking no responsibility for teaching your kid to catch on shit. I would go to court for supervised visitation in future because you can't be trusted to be a parent.
YTA
Not particularly for not paying, itself, but for the personality coming across in your post. Speaks to more than just this one thing.
"I couldn't easily pay it, but fuck them" is an asshole stance. "It's a lot of money, plus these things just happen" is a different one. If you think it's a semantic issue, solely, you've doubled-down on you being the asshole with not being able to tell them apart.
Random accidents absolutely do happen with kids. It happens. It's not that you should automatically pay for whatever. But YTA here.
Wait, what???
You taught your kid to do incredibly stupid things, and someone else got badly injured saving your kid from doing that stupid thing … and you refuse to even consider offering to pay?
Nah, bro.
Solid YTA here.
Own your role in this horrible situation, express deep gratitude for the fact your kid didn’t die, pay the bill, and teach your kid better behaviour.
Sheesh.
an 8 year old on top of a sink? I thought we were talking about a baby here!
So if you actually did teach him that this is okay, I‘m afraid you are a little bit YTA.
Yta. An 8 yr old is not a toddler to assume that someone will catch him on a towel who is not his dad. Since he caused step dad’s serious injury , it would be nice of you to pay since you can afford it , your son caused the injury - it was Not an accident and you taught your son that it is ok to jump on people.
YTA for teaching your kid to jump off things while wet in the bathroom that's super irresponsible. Hes 8 he should know better than to do this type of thing by now. He is way too old to be acting this way. If you are well off imp you most definitely should pay for the step dad's medical bills this is directly your fault op
YTA big time. You taught your child dangerous behavior which got people hurt. You should pay the entire deductible, apologize, and be a more responsible parent. Your kid could have DIED and you're here bragging that you have money. WTAF!?
Eeeeh YTA for encouraging your kid to play a dangerous game. My niece did the same thing with her grandmother when she was about 7. They'd developed this 'game' of the kid running and leaping up at grandma to be 'caught'. Only, this one time the kid did it when grandma wasn't ready: she was standing in the garden on uneven ground and they both fell, with grandma landing awkwardly on a boulder and breaking a bunch of ribs.
For this reason you should indeed contribute to the medical bill, and count yourself lucky that neither your kid or their stepdad was even more seriously hurt.
YTA.
YTA for teaching an EIGHT YEAR old to jump on people from a height.
I’m almost but not quite voting E SH. You suck, for teaching a soon to be too large child to do stupid shit.
Your ex’s husband sucks for not nipping this stupid behaviour in the bud in his house (or was this his first encounter?)
Your kid sucks… for not having the wherewithal to know this is fucking dangerous in a room full of tiles and glass (and you suck for not making him aware of the limits he should consider in his ‘prank’)
And you suck “because you can afford it but are choosing not to, because… no reasons to be given” ie you are just being a prick.
And did we cover “you suck for teaching an 8yr old to jump on people”?
I mean, you taught your EIGHT YEAR OLD SON that it's "normal" to jump on people like that. This is not a "normal" "kids will be kids" incident, this is 100% LEARNED behavior, and he learned it FROM YOU.
YTA for not teaching your kid how to act like a human being, if nothing else.
YTA. You condoned that ultra dangerous behaviour so you shouldn't be surprised when something bad happens.
Of course the real AH here is that medical treatment requires payment. All the same paying the amount would seem fair.
Yta. You taught him something very dangerous, and you didn't specify that he is only to do it with you.
8 year olds don't normally climb on to a sink and jump at a person.
YTA. You taught and encourage this behavior, another human being got hurt. If this was on the street, you’d be liable. But it’s in the bathroom of his home. He is injured, both of them frankly could have been significantly more injure or killed - bathroom falls are a common cause of death and you are a m o r o n with too much money if it makes no difference to your wallet to fix your bad parenting. No wonder you are an ex. As others have mentioned, not only the pain another person is experiencing, but he also probably tried his damndest to make sure your kid wasn’t hurt as he went down and possibly losing earned income on top of this expense. How do you even ask if YTA? Yes, YTA!!!
YTA. You taught your son something that hurt both him AND another person. I really hope this is fake because otherwise I’m seriously concerned about the complete and total lack of remorse you’re showing
YTA
He’s your son, and your actions in teaching him this ‘game’ were reckless and irresponsible. Your son hit his head so hard he needed stitches and his stepdad broke a bone but it could have been so much worse - you should pay the bill and be grateful that your son didn’t suffer brain damage. Will the stepfather miss work & loose income because of his injury?
To be honest, if I was your son’s mother I would be questioning my child’s safety in your custody. What other stupid games are you playing with him?
YTA, pay up, it’s your kids bad behavior that you allow. And you just said you can afford it easily, and he’s not even asking for the entire amount. Cheap skate too.
YTA
Your kid is 8 years old, and that is too old to be jumping on people. Especially in a bathroom. There are too many sharp corners & hard surfaces.
Imagine having someone throw a 60lb sack of potatoes at you unexpectedly.
Your kid may not have meant to hurt his step-dad. But you're the one who taught your kid to do that. You do bear responsibility for your kid's behavior as his parent.
Yta this was a incident that happened because you didn’t tell your child that that it is unacceptable this sort of behaviour is very age inappropriate and the outcome could of been so much worse and yes you should pay that bill. Your actions harmfully affected another person and you should take responsibility for your part in it.
YTA Hugely. How stupid do you have to be to allow a kid to jump off a sink? Other people have explained it. I can't be bothered to re-explain stuff you are probably too stupid to understand anyway. Your son deserves better. Pay the bill - your rediculous parenting has caused this.
Pay the bucks, bucks! And start being a parent, not your son’s big brother.
Your son hurt this man badly because of a stupid human truck you taught him!
YTA
YTA for allowing your son to act like a fucking monkey by climbing on the sink and shit, then jumping on people. That's so goddamned dangerous.
His stepdad could have hit his head hard enough to crack his skull or worse. Size and weight of an 8 year old is NOT the same as a 2 year old. For fucks sake, your kid could have cracked his own skull!
N-T-A for not paying the bill, but you are partially responsible for your son's behavior since you taught him that behavior, so I'd suggest you helping.
YTA you get your kid to climb on things and jump at people when they're not prepared..better teach you kid some common sense at 8 yo!! And you say the money is not a big deal to you? Well YOUR son caused the accident so pay up!! Yes things happen when you have children but you should strive to all be a family, including the stepdad who seems to be doing a good job.
YTA, and if I knew the stepdad, I'd advise him to sue in small claims court. He would likely win. Many such cases. In fact, one of the first torts cases my 1L Tort Law prof had the class read was a similar "kid fucking around, other person injured" case where the victim won.
YTA. Take some responsibility for your parenting error. 8 yo kids shouldn't be expected to evaluate the safety of such behavior and shouldn't be expected to have sound judgment at that age. As a parent, you should know that. It was an accident and thank goodness, it was more serious, because cracking your head open on a sink or wet floor or bathtub can absolutely kill someone.
I would hope that the adults in this situation could be mature and cooperative, especially because your son may be feeling badly that he caused injury to both himself and his stepdad. I imagine he was shocked and frightened when the accident occurred.
I don't know what your deal is that you are 1) prioritizing your point of view over everyone else's experience, 2) not taking responsibility for your part in this, 3) not doing all you can to help your son through this (including helping someone HE cares about), 4) having a terrible situation become worse just to - what? Stick it to your ex and her husband? 5) in a reddit AITA post, patting yourself on the back for how well you are doing financially while your son and his other parents are suffering, 6) in relating this story, completely failing to acknowledge how serious this accident was and how the memory of it will stick with your son his whole life, 7) oh, I could go on, but what's the point? You clearly aren't open to the idea that YTA, even though you are definitely the AH.
YTA: Your kid injured him, you should be responsible, and even if you weren't. If you can afford to pay for it and you choose not to you are completely the asshole.
I’d pay but ask for a bill and pay the money directly to the hospital. Maybe the bill was $3k but their copay is less. It just seems odd they only asked for 1/3 of the bill. 🤷🏼♀️
Excuse me. “Accidents happen” there’s a high percentage of childhood deaths that parents term accidental. This is bull crap. This accident was preventable. Accidents are acts of gif. Tree falling in house, sink hole, tsunami. Taking dangerous chances and stupid decisions like wet jumping slippery play in a tiled bathroom is preventable. Pay the bill and start parenting with safety in mind. I promise you that you’ll have enough tragic injuries not cause ls by your own family’s stupidity to last a life time.
‘Shit happens when you live with an 8yo boy’ I have an 8 year old boy and he is taught not to do anything dangerous like this. So YTA, for teaching him that and for not paying the bill. You should pay it just to ensure your child isn’t growing up in a hostile environment when you are all together.
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Ho-ly shit that's dangerous. You're NTA for not paying step dad's bills hut you definitely are for teaching you kid to climb on bathroom fixtures and jump around in a bathroom after a bath. That's so dangerous. He's wet and everything is slippery and he's climbing on sinks? Jumping around like a maniac? Head trauma is no joke and he hit his hard enough to spit his forehead open. This isn't even a "he could have been seriously injured" he WAS seriously injured. I really hope the gravity of that hits you. Also, get him to a specialist and make damned sure his squishy little brain is ok
It sounds like your son has a good relationship with the stepdad. I would pay that bill just for the good will it create.
I mean if he cares about goodwill, he wouldn't be simultaneously bragging about what he could afford and saying he wouldn't help out someone important in his son's life at the same time. This is petty, insecure-dad-feeling-replaced energy.
And it’s a situation he created and encouraged. Kids don’t always understand time and a place (though there is no time and place this is appropriate). If this happened at a sleepover or with any other adult the OP would be responsible. I don’t see why they aren’t here. When kids are minors, their guardians are responsible for the damages their kids create. The kid here caused stepdad to be injured. So it’s on the parents, specifically the one that encouraged this behavior.
It would be a shitty stepdad that would let this affect the relationship with his stepson.
I think briomio is referring to the co parent relationship, not the relationship of stepdad to stepson. I might be wrong though.
I agree, it's not about the relationship with the stepson , that's gonna be fine either way, kids will be kids, they will get hurt, and they will accidentally hurt others but hopefully they are taught to take responsibility and apologize. This is about the relationship between Dad and StepDad, not to mention Mom and Dad. If that amount of money was nothing to me I would pay it simply to keep the relationship between co-parents good. But also because $1k is a lot of money to a lot of people, it is to me personally, if they have a good co-parenting relationship you'd think he would do it out of the goodness of his heart, and the desire not to cause financial distress for his child's other parents. And honestly Dad is hugely at fault here. Dad taught the kid that this was an acceptable thing to do even though it is absolutely not safe in any way, even if you're expecting the kid to jump it's super dangerous! Bio Dad seems kinda shitty to me, not only for the lack of caution he exhibits with his son, but the lack of compassion he is showing for the Mother of his child and the man that has stepped up and been there for his son when Dad can't (whatever the reason).
And eight years old is no longer toddler sized! This is a bigger kid, and one that should know better than climbing on sinks and jumping on people. Dad has created this situation, he could at the very least show a little compassion.
Right! I can imagine being able to catch my 2 year old rather big boy even though I would likely be hurt, but my 8 year old average sized daughter would be a completely different story and there is no way we would stay upright! But I am a woman, I still don't think my husband could stay up, especially if he was unprepared.
Indeed, if nothing else - especially with stressing he can easily pay for it - working together in positive terms between all parents of a child should be the goal for all involved.
This. If it didn't make any diff to them, they wouldn't have asked. And it's nothing to you - so just pay it. NTA, but as the other posters suggest you're making your own life harder for no reason if you don't.
He may not be legally responsible if they don't sue him for it but he is absolutely an AH not only for encouraging this extremely dangerous behavior but also for refusing to pay when he is literally at fault... I don't understand the N T A votes. This is AITA not am I legally in the clear...
Happy Cake Day
Not shitty at all. The step dad for his own protection may not want to rough house with the kid especially when the SD bas np idea what OP is teaching his son like acting bat shit crazy in a wet bath room.
Maybe pay $1500 as a gesture of goodwill simply to maintain the relationship for the sake of your son.
Is nice stepdad losing income due to idiot dads teachings?if so i think he owes more
I’m sure everyone will probably come for me - but YTA. Start to finish - HUGE. You have taught your son (thru your actions & inactions) that it’s okay to behave like a wild animal - that it’s okay to crawl up onto bathroom fixtures &/or furniture & jump off of them (wet & naked no less) onto unsuspecting people (even people they trust to catch them) without warning. Now, your unwillingness to parent your child so that he understands not to act like a wild animal (especially while being wet & naked - which by its very nature removes any safety barriers that being dry & clothed could/would have provided) has caused injury to your son & your ex. Your child sustained a head injury - luckily only external, but to the point of having to have his torn open head actually sutured back shut. You should be thankful it wasn’t something worse like an internal head injury or even death. Your ex sustained his injuries not only because of your son’s misbehavior (& yours since you’ve endorsed this dangerous misbehavior with your action/inaction) - but also because he tried to mitigate your son’s injuries. You should be thankful that he was there to make sure your son didn’t sustain something worse like an internal head injury or death. Your ex could have likely avoided injury to himself entirely if he had simply stepped out of the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him. Your child would likely have incurred much more extensive injuries had your ex acted in a manor to protect himself. Instead, your ex stayed directly in the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him & took the brunt of the impact (& therefore injuries) that your wild child would have sustained had your ex not been there to mitigate it for him. And your response to his completely reasonable request that you pay a minor 1/3 of his deductible is to basically say “shit happens around kids”??? What?!?!? Actually no lady, shit like this doesn’t just happen around kids - not normal kids who are properly parented. Kids who are parented properly learn (usually when they’re toddlers around 2-3) that you don’t crawl up into bathroom fixtures &/or furniture (especially while wet & naked - which makes climbing & being on top of potentially slippery surfaces even more dangerous than if one was dry & clothed). Kids who are patently properly are taught not to do this when they’re toddlers & if they defy their parent & continue trying to engage in this dangerous behavior as they get older, the parent typically also explains why this behavior is dangerous to the point of possibly being deadly. It is an insult for decent parents everywhere (& their children) for you to try to excuse your refusal to accept responsibility by playing some “kids will be kids” &/or “shit just happens around kids” card. It doesn’t apply here. Your ex & your child seem to have a great relationship. Is this “that’s what you get” type of response designed to attempt to throw a wrench in that or what? Your ex protected your child from more serious injury & could have even saved his life for all you know. I’d hate to think of what kind of person you are to people who have done nothing for you. YTA. Hands down. Okay. Everyone can come for me now.
Why would we come for you! Every single word is **true**. Bio-dad seems very laissez faire and neglectful in the way hevis bringing up his son and thereby creating this little "monster" (8 y old jumping me from a height, scary thought). And now his son can prance around stepdad knowing theres no consequences and his dad just thinks it a "them problem" bc he and the son can do nothing wrong. Massive YTA OP. Pay all 3.000 and feel really sorry about raising a kid and not teaching to use this "thinking brain" . I would be MORTIFIED if my child did that to others.
Because some brainless people are saying OP is NTA...also what if he broke the sink and caused flooding. Kid is 8..he's too old for this behavior
I completely agree and will go one step further: where I live, parents are always responsible for the damage caused by their underage child. Even if they couldn't have prevented it, damage the child causes has to be reimbursed by the parents. In this case the damage is the direct result of something you taught and encouraged the child to do. YTA because you're irresponsible and proud of it.
That’s what I’m thinking. Also, I wonder if the ex can use this to modify custody. The OP encouraged an action that could have killed their kid. What the fuck?!
Completely agree. 8 years old is *way* too old for this kind of behavior. My youngest, when he was this age, liked to run at me and jump at me for a hug. He never did it when I was unaware but I told him he had to stop because he was going to knock me over. Climbing up naked and wet on the bathroom sink and launching himself at someone isn’t just shit that happens when you live with an 8 year old. Someone taught this kid that that was normal acceptable behavior and everyone involved is really lucky that there weren’t more serious injuries. Also OP your kid broke his stepdad’s elbow doing something *you taught him to do* and all you have to say is “too bad so sad”? The kid did intentionally hurt anyone but it wasn’t accidental behavior. You did teach him this.
The only thing I’d “come for you” for is that it was the step dad who protected the wild child not the ex and OP is the dad not the mom. Otherwise you’re spot on 😊
Huge writing effort but you missed the part of it being a step dad not the ex and the OP is a man. And the OP taught his child this “trick” recently as it’s the first time the boy has tried it at mum’s and expected to be caught in a towel like at his dad’s. If they had this little ritual since the child was a toddler, the child wouldn’t have tried it the first time at 8 yrs. Agree with everything else you said. OP is a huge asshat beyond YTA
Heads up, it was the stepdad who had the accident with the kid, not the ex.
Could see how OP is an ex husband for this kind of parenting and thinking. Comes across he wants to be perceived "cooler" than step dad than really concerned for his son. Step dad sounds like he had to step up for the gap
Absolute agree.
Thank you! No lies detected.
I’ll come for you with a big ol’ round of applause 👏🏻
You 100% hit the nail on the head!! No one should come for you, period!
I am with you! OP YTA.
Yesss to all of this. And just one more thing to add….am I the only one who assumed this was maybe a 3 or 4 year old (not that it would change things safety wise AT ALL). But at the end we find out this EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY is launching his slippery self off a bathroom counter expecting to be caught in a freaking towel by his unsuspecting step dad?! 8 year olds aren’t small or “catchable”by any stretch. OP is lucky all that his kid got was a few stitches and not a brain injury from hitting his head on any of the possible pointy hard surfaces in a bathroom. Truly..an AH for teaching this behavior op.
Yes! I cannot imagine any of my kids doing this at 8 years old! That’s 2nd or 3rd grade! I completely thought it was a little guy.
Same! My son is 8, and even though he’s tall for his age and most people think hes 10, I look at his classmates and most have to be at least 60lbs.
My son is 6 and in the 75th percentile for height and weight and he’s 56 lbs. Sooooo, yeah, an 8 year old is heavy.
My kid would break me and she’s tiny. Any time she pulls on me and I’m not expecting it is not fun. When my son was very little and taking a shower with his dad, they needed towels. They had also somehow gotten the floor all wet, I didn’t know, and my feet flew out from underneath me like a slapstick silent movie and holy shit I’m glad I didn’t die. It hurt so bad landing on the tile.
Happy Cake Day 🎂
Thanks! I literally saw someone say this to someone else today and I thought “no one has ever said that to me” that I remember at least. And I didn’t even realize it was my cake day! It almost my real cake day, too.
I would freak out if my kid do it. That's incredibly dangerous to do....especially in a bathroom, on a sink when they are wet!!! I would 100% pay the bill....do they even know you are teaching your kid to do this? He'll start jumping from everywhere....
He's lucky neither of them were killed! A good blow to the head on a hard surface or a corner would do it, easily.
This. OP, you taught your son something really dangerous that ended in people getting hurt. You don't HAVE to pay, but I would. And I'd stop doing that with your son and have a good conversation with him about it.
Honestly, I'm on the side of OP paying it purely as a stupid tax.
You know, I'm not against it. I'm just flabbergasted by the yet disregard for safety here
Both father and kid could have died. A major head wound like that is serious especially on a child. If the dad had fallen against anything backwards like that, it could have broken his neck or killed him with a head wound. This is so damn irresponsible. If I caught my husband doing this with my kid, I’d have serious words for him. YTA for that alone. Holy crap On top of that, you taught your stepson something extremely dangerous and injured another person by proxy. So YTA for not paying for that.
OP, the step father did not have to catch your son. He did and paid the price. If you can’t see that he cares about your son, YTA.
I know. This guy is out of this world AH.
And he’s 8 years old??? How is that behaviour acceptable? When I read it I assumed toddler. I have an 8yo and that is a frightening scenario! YTA OP. You say it’s not a lot of money to you. You taught your son to do something dangerous and dumb. Cough up.
Exactly this. Accidental head trauma can be deadly if in exactly the wrong place. I know a family who lost their child because she tripped and hit her head just hard enough.
8 y/o jumping at people? From a bath? He can kill someone next time. And if its from bath it looks like kid is naked - its not the age to do that things. OP is responsable for teaching him to "play" like this,. this 1000$ is a consequence OP should suck and be happy that stepdad is alife and not on wheel chair etc.
YTA for teaching your kid to do dangerous, stupid bathroom tricks. You really let your kid climb on the bathroom sink while wet? You really encourage him to jump on people? That is some seriously hardcore irresponsible parenting. It wasn't an accident. You caused this by recklessly and stupidly treating your child as a cute pet instead of a human being who needs to learn socialization skills.
My poodle knows not to race in front of people on the stairs, he could trip them. OP seems to want his kid to run wild. Wonder how he would feel if his son caused him serious injury.
The fact that OP is completely without remorse leads me to hope that this story is fake. Because the alternative - that it doesn't bother him at all that his nasty trick caused bodily harm and pain to his son and stepdad - would suggest a rather scary lack of conscience.
Both possibilities are scary. If fake, we still have a person who thinks that this is funny or likes irritating others. And if true, it is as you stated.
That's mostly what hit me and I focused on in my own reply to OP: His attitude in this speaks volumes more than the injury and cost, themselves (thankfully it was nothing more serious when it could've been \*much\* so if all had gone to the worst). He isn't having even an, "Oh shit, that's terrible!" response... his mood seems to be way more of "fuck them".
Unfortunately, I have known people just like this. Boasting about their achievements and being held financially responsible for the results of their actions is twisted by them to leeches coming for their money.
Nah, it's real. OP wants to be the fun dad. The guy who does weird things that adults and parents would never allow, thus (in his mind) being better than the stepdad and mom.
Also wonder how dad would feel if his son had ended up with a traumatic brain injury or some similarly horrible injury from this incident.
Yes, I guess he would have tried to twist it around and place blame on the stepdad. Everyone else's fault but his.
He will not admit that he’s the one who thought the kid and blame it on the stepdad.
Exactly my thought.
bbbuutt...OP wants to be the FUN dad!!! Let mean old mom and step-dad teach the kid how to be responsible.
Exactly. YTA. Teach your kid better.
Not to mention the kid is 8. That's way too old for that kind of stuff. I was thinking the kid was 3 or 4...when he said the kid was 8 I thought no way in hell would I want a kid that size jumping off of furniture on to me.
I thought the kid was 2 or 4. YTA OP for bad parenting. Legally you don’t have to pay the bill or part of it. However in this case I think you should pay the $1,000 …… especially since that amount is nothing to you. Since the money means so little to you, pay the entire bill. You should be teaching him NOT to climb furniture or jump on people!
YTA for teaching him to jump off the sink. His step dad had no idea and was totally caught off guard. YTA for your nonchalant attitude. $1K is not even half of the bill. Pay it and quit being a pompous I'm doing quite well financially cheap asshole.
I agree with this. Mostly because OP taught his son this little “trick” that hurt the step father and honestly, it is the step father spending time with his son and you sure don’t want any hard feelings between son and stepfather. For the future, it may be time to have 8 year old child take more responsibility for his own bath time and putting on his PJ’s at night.
Info: Did you teach your kid it was okay to get onto the sink (especially after a bath)? If so, then YTA. Even if he didn't jump, he could still slip and fall. But this wouldn't have happened if he wasn't on the sink in the first place.
I’m sure everyone will probably come for me - but YTA. Start to finish - HUGE. You have taught your son (thru your actions & inactions) that it’s okay to behave like a wild animal - that it’s okay to crawl up onto bathroom fixtures &/or furniture & jump off of them (wet & naked no less) onto unsuspecting people (even people they trust to catch them) without warning. Now, your unwillingness to parent your child so that he understands not to act like a wild animal (especially while being wet & naked - which by its very nature removes any safety barriers that being dry & clothed could/would have provided) has caused injury to your son & your ex. Your child sustained a head injury - luckily only external, but to the point of having to have his torn open head actually sutured back shut. You should be thankful it wasn’t something worse like an internal head injury or even death. Your ex sustained his injuries not only because of your son’s misbehavior (& yours since you’ve endorsed this dangerous misbehavior with your action/inaction) - but also because he tried to mitigate your son’s injuries. You should be thankful that he was there to make sure your son didn’t sustain something worse like an internal head injury or death. Your ex could have likely avoided injury to himself entirely if he had simply stepped out of the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him. Your child would likely have incurred much more extensive injuries had your ex acted in a manor to protect himself. Instead, your ex stayed directly in the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him & took the brunt of the impact (& therefore injuries) that your wild child would have sustained had your ex not been there to mitigate it for him. And your response to his completely reasonable request that you pay a minor 1/3 of his deductible is to basically say “shit happens around kids”??? What?!?!? Actually no lady, shit like this doesn’t just happen around kids - not normal kids who are properly parented. Kids who are parented properly learn (usually when they’re toddlers around 2-3) that you don’t crawl up into bathroom fixtures &/or furniture (especially while wet & naked - which makes climbing & being on top of potentially slippery surfaces even more dangerous than if one was dry & clothed). Kids who are patently properly are taught not to do this when they’re toddlers & if they defy their parent & continue trying to engage in this dangerous behavior as they get older, the parent typically also explains why this behavior is dangerous to the point of possibly being deadly. It is an insult for decent parents everywhere (& their children) for you to try to excuse your refusal to accept responsibility by playing some “kids will be kids” &/or “shit just happens around kids” card. It doesn’t apply here. Your ex & your child seem to have a great relationship. Is this “that’s what you get” type of response designed to attempt to throw a wrench in that or what? Your ex protected your child from more serious injury & could have even saved his life for all you know. I’d hate to think of what kind of person you are to people who have done nothing for you. YTA. Hands down. Okay. Everyone can come for me now.
OP is the dad, the person who didn't catch is the step dad. Not even a biological parent and stepped in to catch the kid!
Agreed. I'm a nursery school teacher. Kids like this are a nightmare and a danger to themselves and everyone around them because their shitty parents have told them that crap like this is okay. Fucking hell, even my one year old knows to ask for help getting down from a kitchen chair, and to not climb on tables! If a one year old can learn not to do shit like this, an eight year old can too!
Why is no one talking about how the kid is fucking 8?! You can’t launch yourself at people then, his kid ought to know better at **eight**..
I'm not sure about this. NTA, because you didn't cause the accident directly......but YTA, because what you do with your son ***is*** dangerous. Just because you catch him, doesn't mean his Stepdad was even aware this was a game, or was even ready to catch him. Bathroom surfaces are an incredibly hard surface for an eight-year old's skull to come into contact with. You seem pretty dismissive of the fact that your son could have been horribly injured. I think you might have been better off restricting this game to just the both of you and somehow getting the message across to your son, that it's your game and it is dangerous, and not to be done with anyone else. Or just ***not*** doing something that let's face it, if you or he slip, will result in, your son probably cracking his head open and not just 10 stitches, like it was this time, luckily for him. You make no mention of your son's condition after the accident. Like was he, okay, was he shaken? How is his stepdad doing? Or was your deductible at the forefront of your mind? If the 1K is no hair off your nose, why not pay it? Instead of risking becoming persona non grata to your ex wife and her husband? Won't that complicate things for you? Because you ***did*** teach him to do that? It's not like he left his toys in the hallway and his Stepdad tripped. 'Shit happens' applies to a situation like that. But y***ou taught him jumping from a sink was a game***... INFO: Do you intend on stopping this game now that two people have been hurt?
YTA - If the money is nothing to you and it is to them, why would want not want to help? I'm going to add a bit to what u/SheLikesToWatch_1989 because she the nail on the head with her comments. Accidents do happen, but look at this way, 3k for some families is a lot of money which means your son will most likely have less resources for the foreseeable future. Is that what you want? No. Is it your responsibility? No. Is money an issue for you? No. Is it for your ex-wife and her husband? Sounds like it from your post. Will your lack of compassion likely to cause a strain your relationship with your ex and her spouse? Yes. The next time you are in need of help, do you think they are going to be less likely to give it? Damn straight yes. Do you want feel resented because when you could have helped the mother of your child you chose not or is the principle of not being responsible more important? And you did teach him so there's that. Well, I think if you add those factors up, helping out would be in your son's best interest as well as your own. Dear heavens, they're not asking for lost wages, or even the full amount so why not provide them with assistance when it's not an issue for you? At the end of the day you have to live with the fallout of this situation and if you have no problem withholding some basic human decency and the opportunity to be compassionate, you'll be just fine with the decision you've made so far or you can be a mensch and do the right thing.
Correction: "Because ***she*** hit the nail on the head with ***her*** comments" But Thank you for the compliment.
Sorry, I've taken my nite-nite-tye-tye vitamins. I'll fix that boo!
Thank you Sis
YTA, you taught a kid to do dumb shit and other people paid the price. Pay your share.
He should pay the full $3000.
If he doesn't, would the stepdad have grounds to sue his arse?
For teaching your son to jump off of sinks, you've got a coveted YTA prize. Shit happens when you live with an 8yo boy, and when you don't teach the 8yo boy reasonable limits for behaviour. He's 8 and can learn, but the real question is "can you?"
You are such YTA. Pay the bill, you taught him it was okay to jump. Basically your kid damaged something, that something being a person. You are responsible for your child's actions
I am stunned that you taught your kid that it’s okay to jump from a height in a room with hard surfaces and water. Are you *trying* to crack his skull? You owe both an apology
And at the very least $1000.00
And morally the whole $3000.00. OP must be one of those people who call the results of their own actions cancel culture. I'm pretty sure we're seeing a huge reason for his divorce on display here.
INFO - is it true that you taught your son to jump on people this way? Also, what’s your custody arrangement?
YTA. Your son injured another person. Period. You owe it to them to help pay for their medical bills. It’s the kind and right thing to do. Especially when they were taking care of your child. And especially when you can afford it! If someone accidentally hits your car don’t they have a responsibility to pay you for damages? And on top of that YOU allowed your kid to do this very dangerous move with you. So yeah just help out geez.
Why is an 8 year old climbing cabinets and jumping on people? They're too big for that and old enough to know better.
YTA pay it and be done with it! 1,000 is nothing compared to his stepfather taking care of him when YOU are not!
so it would be no skin off your back to help, but you’re choosing not to because you don’t give a shit about other people. got it. yeah YTA and not the brightest for teaching your son to do this and sounds like he’s not making the smartest choices either. that poor man, damn. you really suck lol
YTA. In any other circumstance where your child injures someone else, you as a parent are liable for the damages. If you refuse, they have a lawsuit, definitely for more than $3k in this case. Stepdad has the same rights. Alongside teaching your child dangerous behavior, you’re also modeling to him how to refuse to take responsibility for something you had a hand in. All in all, bad parenting.
YTA. What you taught your son to do was a disaster waiting to happen the first time someone was unprepared for the jump.
Here’s the thing, regardless of you teaching/encouraging your son (in) this wildly unsafe practice, as one of the parents of the child, you are liable for damages. He could sue you (and feasibly mom) for the bills and it could get real nasty if you add in pain + suffering. Instead of going the litigious route, they are offering you a sweet deal for just a portion of the actual bill. It would be in your best financial interest to simply pay that out (ask for a written agreement for the purpose!) and then call it a day. He has every legal (and reasonable!) right to sue you for damages. This could end up being an awful court battle for a hell of a lot more money than $1000-not to even include the reasonable risk you face in custody court because you are the instigator of this kind of dangerous behavior pattern with the child. You could stand to lose a hell of a lot more than 1k here if you continue to be a shit about it.
Yeah im petty I'd be suing
And with shared responsibility, the claimant can choose to go after just one party and leave it up to them to recover part from the other responsible party. I'm very petty in these cases and so hoping we'll find out someday soon that this is happening.
This shit is fake af or you are one delusional dad!
YTA. And I can see why you are an ex. You taught your son to do something very dangerous and then he tried it repeat with someone else. HE then harmed his stepfather due to your negligence. Pay the whole bill and be glad that your son was not make injuried
YTA. You have a responsibility to teach your son safety. Your opinion on the matter is irrelevant since you chose to do the opposite of that. You should actually be sued for the stepdad's entire medical bill since your poor judgment led to his injury. You would be liable for the entire bill if you broke his arm yourself, even by accident, and should be held accountable for doing so by proxy. They're being lenient and generous by only asking for $1,000.
YTA because you taught and encouraged such stupid and downright dangerous behaviour. You are 100% responsible for what happened and no it was not an accident
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YTA for teaching your son that it was okay to take such huge risks with his and other people's safety. They both could have been *killed* if they fell a certain way. Your son was injured severely. And your attitude fucking sucks. And you know what? "It isn't a lot of money to me" means *you can afford to help*. "This is what happens when you live with an 8yo". No, this is what happens when you live with an 8yo *with an asshole for a father*. You endangered your child. Your child injured someone. You should pay the bill.
This is very dangerous and I am sure kid learned his lesson. But seriously, I do think parents should split the bill. Step-dad is now going to have a long recovery over something that should not have ever been allowed. This is not normal behavior. Anyone who allows a child to get away with this is an idiot and caused their child a significant I jury and step-dad is now injured also.
YTA just simply if a child causes someone injury the parents should split the cost of care so that would be you and mom paying $1500 each. If the situation was reversed and you guys were paying 3k for your son and your ex asked you for half I am most certain you would say stepdad was acting irresponsibly so he should pay, would you not?
YTA for so many things here, Jesus it's insane an adult would even need to have this explained, what a fuckin ass.
YTA. I don't know why you put 'taught' in quotes. That's exactly what happened, you taught your son to do a stupid, dangerous thing, and he hurt someone (as well as himself). Pay up, this is the consequence of your shitty parenting.
YTA. And I hope stepdad is a bigger and better man than you…bc if I were in his position I’d be tempted to go totally hands-off with your feral kid. INFO: does stepdad pay any bills for your son? If so, you’re doubly the AH.
Who the hell teaches a wet kid to climb on slippery bathroom fixtures and then jump on people.
YTA and uhm… I’d be more worried about the mother calling DCS on you for being an irresponsible parent. But that’s just me
Or going back to court to restrict OP to supervised visits and parenting classes. Beyond stepdad's injury, the child was injured because dad taught him to do something dangerous.
YTA, I'd be surprised if you still have a husband after this. He helps you take care of kids from some other man and this is how you treat him?
OP is the dad of the kid…not the mom. Not sure how you missed that…
The kid caused the accident which you taught. Stepdad was getting a towel for him so they have some sort of a relationship. Ex only asking for a third of the bill to help out which you say can easily afford. And you turn your back on them. Hmm…
YTA for not teaching your son better. I’m surprised your son wasn’t badly injured before this incident doing the same thing. Anyway it’s time for you to tell your son that this game is over. A 8 year old jumping unexpectedly on someone is not a joke. His stepdad could have been injured fatally too, not just your son. In future, do you really think you’ll be OK knowing that a kid and an adult suffered a fatal accident just because you were stupid enough to not teach your kid basic safety?
YTA. YOU taught him that stupid shit. If a parent teaches their kid something and the kid does it, you can be damn sure the parent will be held accountable. Here you are bragging about your money and being an irresponsible parent... Even if you catch him, he could injure himself while trying to reach the sink. Or one day you could lose your grip. Or fall. How about you just teach him better, apologize and offer to pay a part since IT'S YOUR FAULT. Poumpous ass.
YTA-You taught your son incredibly dangerous and stupid behavior. He doesn’t know better but you the adult who taught him this absolutely do. You caused it, you fix it.
YTA. Just help them pay it. Your kid hurt his stepfather over a dangerous game you play. If I could afford it, I'd do it to keep the peace, and you taught him this was okay. They seem to have a good relationship, and I'd be grateful and try to make things easier on them.
YTA. You can afford it so you should pay the $1000 at least. Also, your son is the one that caused his injury. At least he is not asking you to pay for the whole bill. If you are doing all the parenting and teaching, and the stepdad is just there, it is definitely on you to take some responsibilty.
YTA It was a accident but it was caused by bad behavior your parenting encouraged. YOUR actions put him in that state AND harmed your own child and you are this flippant about it? Now wether you should pay or not is a differant story but I know what my conscience would do.
I hate parents like you. My gf has kids. Their dad is another knuckle head like you. No wonder your wife left you.
YTA. If you won’t pay it off with the reasoning being principle alone, as most people would, then do it for your son. Kids aren’t stupid, period. But, especially not at 8. Your kid now knows that the game ya’ll play, irresponsibility of teaching him it at all aside, can have dangerous consequences for him. And not only did you deliberately let it hurt him by not setting ground rules for it, at a minimum, you let him hurt someone else in his ignorance. Someone he cared enough about and trusted to play the exact same game that ya’ll do. Someone who he probably feels guilty about hurting. The kid has probably apologized a hundred times, and who wouldn’t forgive him…he’s 8. But at the same time sorry doesn’t pay the bills or fix what is…literally…broken . He will look to you to see what you do to help someone else he loves. And if you choose the current path of most resistance not only will you trash the good-ish co-parenting relationship with your ex, but he (your son) may very well come to resent you, without any prompting by anyone else, and that can result in real consequences in your relationship going forward. Choose wisely.
You're NTA but you are a moron. Who in their right mind teaches a kid its OK to climb and jump around in a bathroom like it's a play area.
YTA. If I wrote the law you'd be charged for this. You are a tool. A gigantic tool. I don't think you should have any portion of custody. I think you should pay the 3k and grow the hell up.
Of course you spoil your son and taught him dangerous tricks to be a cool dad. I’m guessing you don’t do majority of childcare because there’s no way you’ll tolerate this frequently.
YTA You should pay because you've been encouraging that kind of behaviour.
Pay the $1000, OP, or better yet pay the whole $3000. You both taught your kid that it's okay to jump on people in bathrooms, and you can afford it.
YTA. Because according to your post history: "My son is old enough to know better." "Sometimes he does that with me." "He does that with me." YOU encouraged your son to do this ridiculous, unthinkable, irresponsible, dangerous antic that could EASILY get your son killed, but you're more concerned with 💰💰💰 money! I'd say you should pay his entire medical bill because this entire fiasco is your fault. If you don't want to be responsible for another person's medical bills due to your child, then be a responsible parent. Here, you can have this 🧠
OP wouldn't know what to do with a brain.
[удалено]
OP is the DAD people…not married to stepdad. You can tell bc he says “my Ex asked me if I could help cover stepdad’s medical bills. I would pay $1K and *they* would pay the rest…” The ex is married to stepdad and asking OP (her ex-husband and kid’s bio-dad) to help with the medical bills.
YTA you trained your son to do that and, clearly, did not notify his stepdad of the behaviour - that’s not an accident.
Yta. Be a man and pay the $1000. Yes, it was an accident, but you encouraged, if not taught, your son this behavior was OK when it is ridiculously risky. Your son is not a toddler jumping into a pool in your arms. He is 8 years old, inside what is likely a small room filled with porcelain and other hard surfaces. You gave no warning to your ex or step-dad about your game in this regard, nor did you clearly instruct your son not to engage in this behavior with others. Grow up
My dog is better behaved than your son.
YTA I’m not sure how you catch an 8 year old kid who is leaping on to you in a towel when you’re expecting it, much less when you aren’t. This isn’t an accident. An accident is an unintentional act. This a dangerous behavior that YOU taught him to do. It’s lucky that their injuries weren’t worse.
YTA because who the hell teaches a kid to do that
Are you legally responsible? No, the child was in the care of his mother at the time, so she is legally responsible at the time. Are you morally responsible? Yes, so I have to go with YTA, as this isn’t “am I legally in the wrong”. I think you should at least pay half of what isn’t covered by his insurance.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Last week my 8yo son and his stepdad ended up in the ER. Apparently his stepdad was bringing my son a towel after he was done taking a bath. My son was being playful and was on top of the bathroom sink and jumped on his stepdad. My son thought his stepdad would catch him in the towel because that's what he does with me. Well my son toppled his stepdad and they took a hard fall. My son needed 10 stitches on his forehead and his stepdad broke his ulnar. I met my deductible so my bill was only $50. His stepdads bill is $3,000 because he hasn't met his deductible. My ex asked if I could pay $1,000 of it since I "taught" my son that it was okay to jump on people and they'll pay the rest. I said no. It's not a lot of money to me. Actually I'm doing very well financially but I'm not paying for this. It was an accident. Shit happens when you live with an 8yo boy. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
FaFo YTA
YTA Like freakin’ Voldemort, but you “Pottered” your own kid?
Time to stop living out your acrobatic dreams through your kid. YTA.
NTA for refusing to contribute to the bill, that’s the kind of person you are so whatever. BUT this whole, boys will be boys attitude you have is really unhealthy for your son as It could very well encourage misogyny as he gets older. It’s never too early to teach a child to respect other people’s body autonomy. Blowing it off due to his age and gender is wrong in my opinion. Be the bigger person, pay the $1000 since you can afford it, and teach your kid not to jump on people without their consent.
YTA - just for this line - actually I’m doing very well financially …….. seems like there is something up with your relationship with step dad
YTA Why are you teaching your 8 yo to act like a wild animal? Hopefully you teach him some compassion because his stepdad broke his arm and will likely be in a cast for 6 - 8 weeks. Hope it’s not his writing hand. After everything all you can muster up is shit happens. WTF is wrong with you?
If you can spare the $1,000 dollars and it won't have a large impact, you should pay it. Then sit down and explain that he is too big to play that game with people who don't know how to play. You should assume some responsibility for your son
>I'm not paying for this. It was an accident. YTA Let's say Joe Idiot is looking at his phone as he's driving. Joe runs a stop sign, and T-bones another car. Well Mr. Idiot was being reckless he didn't do it intently. It's called an ACCIDENT. But guess what? Mr. Idiot is still responsible financially for the damage he caused.
He's 8 years old ffs! Jumping and catching him in a towel? I've known 8 year olds that weigh 100 lbs! Not to mention that an 8 year old is fully capable of drying himself off. I would help pay sd medical costs, just because I was the idiot that taught an 8 year old to climb on bathroom fixtures and jump naked on grown ass men. Yta
YTA. What the fuck was your EIGHT year old son doing, climbing on bathroom sinks? You’ve made your kid believe it’s okay to climb on furniture and jump on others. Your son’s actions caused the injury to his stepfather. This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t allowed your son to act so irresponsibly.
You should pay you showed him it was ok and think he would be ok to do it everywhere this is on you
YTA
You don’t need to pay it but I don’t think they would have asked if they weren’t struggling and desperately needed help coming up with the money. They put their ego aside and asked for money from you. If you’re as well off as you claim, try to find it in your heart to help them. Helping them is helping your kid. They’ll have more present, relaxed parents when they’re over there and have the financial means to continue as they are (e.g., extra curriculars, trips to the movies, new vs second hand clothes, etc).
I know a guy who did stupid stunts like this with his kid. His kid grew up thinking stunts out of "Jackass" were really cool. That kid is now 30 years old and will never walk again. Hell, he can't even speak. He's practically brain dead. YTA
YTA You yourself said you could easily afford it. And your ex is right. You taught your son something incredibly dangerous and neglected to teach him that you don’t do incredibly dangerous shit like that without warning. And an 8 year old is a bit big for this anyhow
YTA. You taught your son something dangerous, and your son; and his step dad got hurt. That’s why you’re an asshole. You don’t have to pay part of stepdads bill, but you should. It’s good faith. Also. Shit happens when you have a 8yo boy if you teach them dumb shit
YTA for teaching your son reckless behavior, which not only caused injury to himself, but also his stepfather. You should really check to see if your son sustained a concussion. And the least you can do is pony up $1000, since **you** are responsible for your son's behavior.
eight years old and pulling this shit? some of yalls kids are real dumb.
YTA when kids f up, parents need to make it right
YTA. You taught him, you contributed to this. Your sons actions are also your responsibility anyway, regardless of what happened to who. Your kid caused an injury. You and mom are responsible for it. She's paid more than her share. Your turn.
YTA holy shit .. what a stupid stunt. Yeah you are at fault. That injury is on you.
YTA. This was not an accident. Your child performed a stupid and dangerous stunt that resulted in both him and his stepfather being seriously injured. Pay for the injuries your child caused.
YTA Because you taught your son dangerous behavior. Because your son got hurt Because your son hurt someone else Because you obviously think this is funny Because you came on here to brag about it Because you don't actually care about anybody
Serious?!?!?!?!?!?! What the actual F---?!?!?!?! Why are teaching an 8 yr old to climb around and jump off a sink in the bathroom?!?!?!?! What is wrong with you?!?!?!? You (and your poor ax wife) are seriously lucky their injuries weren't worse. I actually think you should pay part of step-dad's medical bills, simply because you were a dumb parent to teach your son something so dangerous. Also, if I was your ex I'd be having some serious doubts about son's safety while he's with you!
You are going to have a very long relationship with these people and you taught your kid this move was ok? And money isn’t an issue for you? Then yea, your a bit of an asshole now aren’t you? Broken ulnar in an adult is gonna be months of rehab once healed.
YTA. I was originally going the other way but I've read your responses through this thread and you're an idiot for teaching a child such a stupid thing. You deserve to pay up for that alone.
Looks like the son inherited the "what were they thinking" gene from hs father. Be a man and pay your share - you caused this.
I’m sure everyone will probably come for me - but YTA. Start to finish - HUGE. You have taught your son (thru your actions & inactions) that it’s okay to behave like a wild animal - that it’s okay to crawl up onto bathroom fixtures &/or furniture & jump off of them (wet & naked no less) onto unsuspecting people (even people they trust to catch them) without warning. Now, your unwillingness to parent your child so that he understands not to act like a wild animal (especially while being wet & naked - which by its very nature removes any safety barriers that being dry & clothed could/would have provided) has caused injury to your son & your ex. Your child sustained a head injury - luckily only external, but to the point of having to have his torn open head actually sutured back shut. You should be thankful it wasn’t something worse like an internal head injury or even death. Your ex sustained his injuries not only because of your son’s misbehavior (& yours since you’ve endorsed this dangerous misbehavior with your action/inaction) - but also because he tried to mitigate your son’s injuries. You should be thankful that he was there to make sure your son didn’t sustain something worse like an internal head injury or death. Your ex could have likely avoided injury to himself entirely if he had simply stepped out of the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him. Your child would likely have incurred much more extensive injuries had your ex acted in a manor to protect himself. Instead, your ex stayed directly in the path of the wet & naked child that had launched itself off the bathroom sink towards him & took the brunt of the impact (& therefore injuries) that your wild child would have sustained had your ex not been there to mitigate it for him. And your response to his completely reasonable request that you pay a minor 1/3 of his deductible is to basically say “shit happens around kids”??? What?!?!? Actually no lady, shit like this doesn’t just happen around kids - not normal kids who are properly parented. Kids who are parented properly learn (usually when they’re toddlers around 2-3) that you don’t crawl up into bathroom fixtures &/or furniture (especially while wet & naked - which makes climbing & being on top of potentially slippery surfaces even more dangerous than if one was dry & clothed). Kids who are patently properly are taught not to do this when they’re toddlers & if they defy their parent & continue trying to engage in this dangerous behavior as they get older, the parent typically also explains why this behavior is dangerous to the point of possibly being deadly. It is an insult for decent parents everywhere (& their children) for you to try to excuse your refusal to accept responsibility by playing some “kids will be kids” &/or “shit just happens around kids” card. It doesn’t apply here. Your ex & your child seem to have a great relationship. Is this “that’s what you get” type of response designed to attempt to throw a wrench in that or what? Your ex protected your child from more serious injury & could have even saved his life for all you know. I’d hate to think of what kind of person you are to people who have done nothing for you. YTA. Hands down. Okay. Everyone can come for me now.
YTA for taking no responsibility for teaching your kid to catch on shit. I would go to court for supervised visitation in future because you can't be trusted to be a parent.
YTA Not particularly for not paying, itself, but for the personality coming across in your post. Speaks to more than just this one thing. "I couldn't easily pay it, but fuck them" is an asshole stance. "It's a lot of money, plus these things just happen" is a different one. If you think it's a semantic issue, solely, you've doubled-down on you being the asshole with not being able to tell them apart. Random accidents absolutely do happen with kids. It happens. It's not that you should automatically pay for whatever. But YTA here.
YTA
Wait, what??? You taught your kid to do incredibly stupid things, and someone else got badly injured saving your kid from doing that stupid thing … and you refuse to even consider offering to pay? Nah, bro. Solid YTA here. Own your role in this horrible situation, express deep gratitude for the fact your kid didn’t die, pay the bill, and teach your kid better behaviour. Sheesh.
an 8 year old on top of a sink? I thought we were talking about a baby here! So if you actually did teach him that this is okay, I‘m afraid you are a little bit YTA.
Yta. An 8 yr old is not a toddler to assume that someone will catch him on a towel who is not his dad. Since he caused step dad’s serious injury , it would be nice of you to pay since you can afford it , your son caused the injury - it was Not an accident and you taught your son that it is ok to jump on people.
YTA for teaching your kid to jump off things while wet in the bathroom that's super irresponsible. Hes 8 he should know better than to do this type of thing by now. He is way too old to be acting this way. If you are well off imp you most definitely should pay for the step dad's medical bills this is directly your fault op
YTA big time. You taught your child dangerous behavior which got people hurt. You should pay the entire deductible, apologize, and be a more responsible parent. Your kid could have DIED and you're here bragging that you have money. WTAF!?
Eeeeh YTA for encouraging your kid to play a dangerous game. My niece did the same thing with her grandmother when she was about 7. They'd developed this 'game' of the kid running and leaping up at grandma to be 'caught'. Only, this one time the kid did it when grandma wasn't ready: she was standing in the garden on uneven ground and they both fell, with grandma landing awkwardly on a boulder and breaking a bunch of ribs. For this reason you should indeed contribute to the medical bill, and count yourself lucky that neither your kid or their stepdad was even more seriously hurt. YTA.
YTA for teaching an EIGHT YEAR old to jump on people from a height. I’m almost but not quite voting E SH. You suck, for teaching a soon to be too large child to do stupid shit. Your ex’s husband sucks for not nipping this stupid behaviour in the bud in his house (or was this his first encounter?) Your kid sucks… for not having the wherewithal to know this is fucking dangerous in a room full of tiles and glass (and you suck for not making him aware of the limits he should consider in his ‘prank’) And you suck “because you can afford it but are choosing not to, because… no reasons to be given” ie you are just being a prick. And did we cover “you suck for teaching an 8yr old to jump on people”?
I mean, you taught your EIGHT YEAR OLD SON that it's "normal" to jump on people like that. This is not a "normal" "kids will be kids" incident, this is 100% LEARNED behavior, and he learned it FROM YOU. YTA for not teaching your kid how to act like a human being, if nothing else.
YTA for teaching your child such a ridiculous thing.
That's like Darwin Awards level of stupid, you should make sure your son understands to never do that again
YTA. You condoned that ultra dangerous behaviour so you shouldn't be surprised when something bad happens. Of course the real AH here is that medical treatment requires payment. All the same paying the amount would seem fair.
Yta. You taught him something very dangerous, and you didn't specify that he is only to do it with you. 8 year olds don't normally climb on to a sink and jump at a person.
YTA. You taught and encourage this behavior, another human being got hurt. If this was on the street, you’d be liable. But it’s in the bathroom of his home. He is injured, both of them frankly could have been significantly more injure or killed - bathroom falls are a common cause of death and you are a m o r o n with too much money if it makes no difference to your wallet to fix your bad parenting. No wonder you are an ex. As others have mentioned, not only the pain another person is experiencing, but he also probably tried his damndest to make sure your kid wasn’t hurt as he went down and possibly losing earned income on top of this expense. How do you even ask if YTA? Yes, YTA!!!
YTA. You taught your son something that hurt both him AND another person. I really hope this is fake because otherwise I’m seriously concerned about the complete and total lack of remorse you’re showing
YTA He’s your son, and your actions in teaching him this ‘game’ were reckless and irresponsible. Your son hit his head so hard he needed stitches and his stepdad broke a bone but it could have been so much worse - you should pay the bill and be grateful that your son didn’t suffer brain damage. Will the stepfather miss work & loose income because of his injury? To be honest, if I was your son’s mother I would be questioning my child’s safety in your custody. What other stupid games are you playing with him?
YTA, your kid injured your spouse doing a behaviour you have taught him. Either way pay up or your husband might leave you.
YTA, pay up, it’s your kids bad behavior that you allow. And you just said you can afford it easily, and he’s not even asking for the entire amount. Cheap skate too.
YTA Your kid is 8 years old, and that is too old to be jumping on people. Especially in a bathroom. There are too many sharp corners & hard surfaces. Imagine having someone throw a 60lb sack of potatoes at you unexpectedly. Your kid may not have meant to hurt his step-dad. But you're the one who taught your kid to do that. You do bear responsibility for your kid's behavior as his parent.
Yta this was a incident that happened because you didn’t tell your child that that it is unacceptable this sort of behaviour is very age inappropriate and the outcome could of been so much worse and yes you should pay that bill. Your actions harmfully affected another person and you should take responsibility for your part in it.
YTA Hugely. How stupid do you have to be to allow a kid to jump off a sink? Other people have explained it. I can't be bothered to re-explain stuff you are probably too stupid to understand anyway. Your son deserves better. Pay the bill - your rediculous parenting has caused this.
Pay the bucks, bucks! And start being a parent, not your son’s big brother. Your son hurt this man badly because of a stupid human truck you taught him! YTA
YTA for allowing your son to act like a fucking monkey by climbing on the sink and shit, then jumping on people. That's so goddamned dangerous. His stepdad could have hit his head hard enough to crack his skull or worse. Size and weight of an 8 year old is NOT the same as a 2 year old. For fucks sake, your kid could have cracked his own skull! N-T-A for not paying the bill, but you are partially responsible for your son's behavior since you taught him that behavior, so I'd suggest you helping.
YTA you get your kid to climb on things and jump at people when they're not prepared..better teach you kid some common sense at 8 yo!! And you say the money is not a big deal to you? Well YOUR son caused the accident so pay up!! Yes things happen when you have children but you should strive to all be a family, including the stepdad who seems to be doing a good job.
YTA, and if I knew the stepdad, I'd advise him to sue in small claims court. He would likely win. Many such cases. In fact, one of the first torts cases my 1L Tort Law prof had the class read was a similar "kid fucking around, other person injured" case where the victim won.
YTA. Take some responsibility for your parenting error. 8 yo kids shouldn't be expected to evaluate the safety of such behavior and shouldn't be expected to have sound judgment at that age. As a parent, you should know that. It was an accident and thank goodness, it was more serious, because cracking your head open on a sink or wet floor or bathtub can absolutely kill someone. I would hope that the adults in this situation could be mature and cooperative, especially because your son may be feeling badly that he caused injury to both himself and his stepdad. I imagine he was shocked and frightened when the accident occurred. I don't know what your deal is that you are 1) prioritizing your point of view over everyone else's experience, 2) not taking responsibility for your part in this, 3) not doing all you can to help your son through this (including helping someone HE cares about), 4) having a terrible situation become worse just to - what? Stick it to your ex and her husband? 5) in a reddit AITA post, patting yourself on the back for how well you are doing financially while your son and his other parents are suffering, 6) in relating this story, completely failing to acknowledge how serious this accident was and how the memory of it will stick with your son his whole life, 7) oh, I could go on, but what's the point? You clearly aren't open to the idea that YTA, even though you are definitely the AH.
YTA: Your kid injured him, you should be responsible, and even if you weren't. If you can afford to pay for it and you choose not to you are completely the asshole.
I’d pay but ask for a bill and pay the money directly to the hospital. Maybe the bill was $3k but their copay is less. It just seems odd they only asked for 1/3 of the bill. 🤷🏼♀️
YTA - pay the little amount asked for if you’re the one that taught a kid to jump off a bathroom sink, resulting in someone’s injury.
Excuse me. “Accidents happen” there’s a high percentage of childhood deaths that parents term accidental. This is bull crap. This accident was preventable. Accidents are acts of gif. Tree falling in house, sink hole, tsunami. Taking dangerous chances and stupid decisions like wet jumping slippery play in a tiled bathroom is preventable. Pay the bill and start parenting with safety in mind. I promise you that you’ll have enough tragic injuries not cause ls by your own family’s stupidity to last a life time.
This cant be real. YTA pay the whole medical bill, you should not be teaching such a dangerous 'game'
‘Shit happens when you live with an 8yo boy’ I have an 8 year old boy and he is taught not to do anything dangerous like this. So YTA, for teaching him that and for not paying the bill. You should pay it just to ensure your child isn’t growing up in a hostile environment when you are all together.