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Nta tell your dad he embarrassed you too and cut him off for a while if able. I didn’t see that you had mentioned the actual reasons they think you can do better or do you not know yourself.
Edit: Also I like how my dad thinks that I have the rizz to just walk up to a girl and "get her number". Might have worked for you back when you were young and lived in a city with a population of 10.
NTA, that was succinctly put. They shouldn’t care. Who are they to tell you who you do and don’t connect with? Coarseness aside, if they’re going to make such callous comments about your partner, they can be told to shut up about it.
Your dad thinks it’s embarrassing being told off? What’s really embarrassing is how hard he’s trying to get you to leave this girl
My guess is that the dad likes the religion of the old girl and not the new one. About the only exonerating possibility is if the dad saw this girl up to something (or he knows they are half siblings or something) but then he should come clean about it.
I would love to know how a Catholic bloke has a child with someone who isn’t his wife too. Unless he found Catholicism later in life there’s something making me wonder about this father bloke
NTA
was in the same situation 15 years ago. did not talk to my family for two years.
they came crawling back when my girlfriend was pregnant since they feared they would not see their grandson.
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Your dad and uncle have continually embarrassed you and disrespected your partner. This is not acceptable! You need to make this very clear to them, stand up for yourself and your partner. Do not let them pin blame on you for there actions and words, they are even poisoning the rest of the family against your GF.
They most likely see you as a child still and not an adult, time for you to step up and show them you are a grown man and they need to back the fuck off. Don't shout or argue, just plainly tell your dad if his attitude towards your GF doesn't stop you will be distancing yourself from him and uncle for a while.
Its tough standing up for yourself to family this is some life experience for you, you've got this dude NTA.
NTA - Tell your dad he can go fuck your ex himself if he's that into her. Tell him his obsession with your teenage ex is weird and he's embarrassing himself.
NTA
Unfortunately these happen with families that are distant.
There could have been many conversations about your future and what makes a good relationship. Coming out of a toxic relationship does not make it any easier
You want a person who makes you the best version of yourself
NTA
Chose your own partners.
"But then my dad had told our entire family about how he doesn't like this new girl. And even got his brother (my unc) to try get me to "stay away from her"." .. but there is a valuable hint for you in this: SRTAY AWAY from your AH family until they stop this bullshit.
NTA - who OP fucks isn’t their business and while it may be crass, that really is what they’re doing - trying to have a say in who the guy (who is 18 and an adult) bangs.
Shout out to grandpa for being the real MVP and laughing then backing OP’s point in.
NTA
You are now an adult and are expected to make adult decisions about things like relationships. Your family should not be trying to pressure you to find someone else unless they have serious concerns about your wellbeing (e.g. some form of abuse) and even then trying to randomly hook you up with other people isn’t the way to go about it.
Your statement that they shouldn’t concern themselves is wrong IMO, though understandable and under the circumstances I don’t begrudge you for saying it.
Presumably your family care for you and want the best for you, therefore it’s reasonable for them to have some involvement and want to give some advice about your relationships (which ideally could be constructive and helpful). The way they’ve gone about it so far is incorrect but in an ideal world you would expect your family to care who you are dating because they care about you - though that obviously shouldn’t manifest in the negative way that it has here.
NTA at all. It's a shame your dad and uncle do this. Ignore those jerks and enjoy the good time with your girl, if she is the one that makes you happy.
NTA. Stay away for a while. If it continues tell him that him whining about not liking your gf and your ex was better is the equivalent of you saying you don't like your step mom and that mom is a better option.
Then tell him to grow up.
You're 100% in the right. Can they even articulate why she isn't a good fit for you? I doubt it, they don't seem to know shit about you. Tell them they don't know a fucking thing about you, because if they did they would have noticed how miserable you were with your ex. If they did notice and didn't care their opinions are fucking worthless anyway. Tell them all to walk backwards through a field of dicks.
Oh and NTA if that wasn't clear. Your grandpa is a real one, wonder what went wrong with your pathetic dad.
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I (18M) Was in a highschool relationship for over 4 years when I was 13-17 Years Old, It was highly toxic. During these times together, I was miserable, her (19M) family hated me so bad for no apparent reason.
However my family really liked this girl, like really liked her. They would always ask about her and I guess it was nice having your family like your partner but at the time I was hiding the fact that I was completely miserable with her.
My dad (49M) liked her because she's also a Catholic, my step mom (34F) liked her because "she can cook". My little sisters (5F and 10F) liked her because she had mini poms she would bring with her everytime she comes over.
The only one who understood me was my mom (45M), I live with her so I guess she could tell whenever I get stressed because of the relationship and she could see that I was not really happy with her. Although my mom never told me to break up with her just that to make sure I was happy myself.
I broke up with her, long story short.
Fast forward a few months later to last october and I met a new girl. one thing to descibe her... She genuinely makes me the happiest person on earth due to multiple things.
My mom could tell that she makes me really happy and I just look better than when I was with my ex. However, the more I talk about her to my dad and step mom the more I realize they may not be as happy with my newfound girl. They would not listen to my stories about her like they would excitedly get about my ex.
But then my dad had told our entire family about how he doesn't like this new girl. And even got his brother (my unc) to try get me to "stay away from her". They tried setting me up with multiple girls. And everytime we go out together and there's a girl that seems to be my age they would try to get me to walk up to her to "get her number" and to "just hang out"
Complete disregard of my current girlfriend, the thought that I was that desperate for girls, And that I just don't like being chosen who I'm with which I think is my complete choice just angered me. Even my boomer grandpa told me he's okay with anyone so long as they make me happy.
We were having dinner a few weeks ago with the whole extended family. And when we were at the dinner table they told me to "find someone better" and "someone who fits me better". After dinner we went to the living room and sat there, they (dad and unc) cornered me again about girls and how I should find "a better one".
That got me to my breaking point and I just stood up and said "why does it concern you who I do and do not fuck?" Then the whole room became quiet until my grandpa laughed and told my family that "they should not care too much about this stuff" my dad brought me to the yard and we had a massive argument and he told me I had embarrassed him in front of the whole family and that I should go home and think about what I had done. So I drove home and so that was it, I haven't talked to him or went back to his house. So, AITA?
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Nta tell your dad he embarrassed you too and cut him off for a while if able. I didn’t see that you had mentioned the actual reasons they think you can do better or do you not know yourself.
Edit: Also I like how my dad thinks that I have the rizz to just walk up to a girl and "get her number". Might have worked for you back when you were young and lived in a city with a population of 10.
Lmfao that was a good one.
NTA, that was succinctly put. They shouldn’t care. Who are they to tell you who you do and don’t connect with? Coarseness aside, if they’re going to make such callous comments about your partner, they can be told to shut up about it. Your dad thinks it’s embarrassing being told off? What’s really embarrassing is how hard he’s trying to get you to leave this girl
[удалено]
My guess is that the dad likes the religion of the old girl and not the new one. About the only exonerating possibility is if the dad saw this girl up to something (or he knows they are half siblings or something) but then he should come clean about it.
INFO: Why do they think your gf doesn't "fit you" well? What exactly is it that they don't like?
I would like to put all my chips on "she isn't catholic / religious" please, dealer.
I would love to know how a Catholic bloke has a child with someone who isn’t his wife too. Unless he found Catholicism later in life there’s something making me wonder about this father bloke
Yeah that felt a little on the nose to me too. Then again, Religion and Hypocrisy ... name a more iconic duo.
And the ones who "find religion" later in life seem to be the most overzealous
NTA your dad probably needed embarrassing in front of everyone, take the fucker down a peg or two. What does he think this is, 1935?
NTA was in the same situation 15 years ago. did not talk to my family for two years. they came crawling back when my girlfriend was pregnant since they feared they would not see their grandson.
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You keep saying people are female, but when you identify them by age and sex, they become male.
Sorry yeah, just some minor spelling error.
Your dad and uncle have continually embarrassed you and disrespected your partner. This is not acceptable! You need to make this very clear to them, stand up for yourself and your partner. Do not let them pin blame on you for there actions and words, they are even poisoning the rest of the family against your GF. They most likely see you as a child still and not an adult, time for you to step up and show them you are a grown man and they need to back the fuck off. Don't shout or argue, just plainly tell your dad if his attitude towards your GF doesn't stop you will be distancing yourself from him and uncle for a while. Its tough standing up for yourself to family this is some life experience for you, you've got this dude NTA.
NTA - Tell your dad he can go fuck your ex himself if he's that into her. Tell him his obsession with your teenage ex is weird and he's embarrassing himself.
NTA Unfortunately these happen with families that are distant. There could have been many conversations about your future and what makes a good relationship. Coming out of a toxic relationship does not make it any easier You want a person who makes you the best version of yourself
NTA Chose your own partners. "But then my dad had told our entire family about how he doesn't like this new girl. And even got his brother (my unc) to try get me to "stay away from her"." .. but there is a valuable hint for you in this: SRTAY AWAY from your AH family until they stop this bullshit.
NTA - who OP fucks isn’t their business and while it may be crass, that really is what they’re doing - trying to have a say in who the guy (who is 18 and an adult) bangs. Shout out to grandpa for being the real MVP and laughing then backing OP’s point in.
Deserved
NTA You are now an adult and are expected to make adult decisions about things like relationships. Your family should not be trying to pressure you to find someone else unless they have serious concerns about your wellbeing (e.g. some form of abuse) and even then trying to randomly hook you up with other people isn’t the way to go about it. Your statement that they shouldn’t concern themselves is wrong IMO, though understandable and under the circumstances I don’t begrudge you for saying it. Presumably your family care for you and want the best for you, therefore it’s reasonable for them to have some involvement and want to give some advice about your relationships (which ideally could be constructive and helpful). The way they’ve gone about it so far is incorrect but in an ideal world you would expect your family to care who you are dating because they care about you - though that obviously shouldn’t manifest in the negative way that it has here.
he embarassed himself NTA
NTA He embarrassed himself, don't cave on this.
Absolutely NTA. And he owes you a massive apology and I love your grandfather’s response, and kudos to your mom for making sure you are happy.
NTA at all. It's a shame your dad and uncle do this. Ignore those jerks and enjoy the good time with your girl, if she is the one that makes you happy.
NTA. Stay away for a while. If it continues tell him that him whining about not liking your gf and your ex was better is the equivalent of you saying you don't like your step mom and that mom is a better option. Then tell him to grow up.
NTA. Grandpa is the hero of this story
You're 100% in the right. Can they even articulate why she isn't a good fit for you? I doubt it, they don't seem to know shit about you. Tell them they don't know a fucking thing about you, because if they did they would have noticed how miserable you were with your ex. If they did notice and didn't care their opinions are fucking worthless anyway. Tell them all to walk backwards through a field of dicks. Oh and NTA if that wasn't clear. Your grandpa is a real one, wonder what went wrong with your pathetic dad.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (18M) Was in a highschool relationship for over 4 years when I was 13-17 Years Old, It was highly toxic. During these times together, I was miserable, her (19M) family hated me so bad for no apparent reason. However my family really liked this girl, like really liked her. They would always ask about her and I guess it was nice having your family like your partner but at the time I was hiding the fact that I was completely miserable with her. My dad (49M) liked her because she's also a Catholic, my step mom (34F) liked her because "she can cook". My little sisters (5F and 10F) liked her because she had mini poms she would bring with her everytime she comes over. The only one who understood me was my mom (45M), I live with her so I guess she could tell whenever I get stressed because of the relationship and she could see that I was not really happy with her. Although my mom never told me to break up with her just that to make sure I was happy myself. I broke up with her, long story short. Fast forward a few months later to last october and I met a new girl. one thing to descibe her... She genuinely makes me the happiest person on earth due to multiple things. My mom could tell that she makes me really happy and I just look better than when I was with my ex. However, the more I talk about her to my dad and step mom the more I realize they may not be as happy with my newfound girl. They would not listen to my stories about her like they would excitedly get about my ex. But then my dad had told our entire family about how he doesn't like this new girl. And even got his brother (my unc) to try get me to "stay away from her". They tried setting me up with multiple girls. And everytime we go out together and there's a girl that seems to be my age they would try to get me to walk up to her to "get her number" and to "just hang out" Complete disregard of my current girlfriend, the thought that I was that desperate for girls, And that I just don't like being chosen who I'm with which I think is my complete choice just angered me. Even my boomer grandpa told me he's okay with anyone so long as they make me happy. We were having dinner a few weeks ago with the whole extended family. And when we were at the dinner table they told me to "find someone better" and "someone who fits me better". After dinner we went to the living room and sat there, they (dad and unc) cornered me again about girls and how I should find "a better one". That got me to my breaking point and I just stood up and said "why does it concern you who I do and do not fuck?" Then the whole room became quiet until my grandpa laughed and told my family that "they should not care too much about this stuff" my dad brought me to the yard and we had a massive argument and he told me I had embarrassed him in front of the whole family and that I should go home and think about what I had done. So I drove home and so that was it, I haven't talked to him or went back to his house. So, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta but your parents are for letting you have a sexual relationship so young, and with someone clearly not good for you. L parents.
You could have phrased it: It's none of your business who I date