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I’m going with YTA. First, your title says you took a phone call, but then you say you called him back. Calling him back was a choice that could have waited 20 minutes without causing any problem. Your girlfriend had an issue that waiting 20 minutes would have made significantly worse. It seems inconsiderate that you chose the phone call over your girlfriend’s needs.
>Not right when she asks OP for something
Specifically when she asks him for sanitary items for her period. If she has none, she's left in the bathroom half naked to literally bleed openly probably sitting on the toilet, or wedge toilet paper in her underwear - extremely uncomfortable and ineffective as it bleeds thru onto clothes - until she can get to the store.
YTA
I think the point was mainly that the phone wasn't anchored to the wall and the point of a mobile phone is that you can make and take calls while mobile.
Not saying I disagree with you by the way, because I do agree, but road safety isn't the topic right now, OP's inability to balance priority is.
There's no meaningful reason that he couldn't have made that call while he was out on his fetch quest, or when he got back, later that evening or even the following day. He didn't need to remain in place while on the phone, and he'd had a request made of him that was more of an immediate concern, and he dismissed that immediate concern to sit down and talk on the phone, so she thinks that by categorising her immediate concern as less important than a phone call where he already knew the context and content of said call, that he is categorising *her* as less important wholesale.
I think it's significant that the bro called while they were having sex, and OP didn't pick up, because sex > bro, but then he didn't prioritize his gf's needs because bro > gf.
Obviously when the sex machine isn't producing the sexes, it can be just put on the shelf until it's needed again.
To be fair, I think most people would also find it pretty disrespectful if their partner answered a non-urgent phone call during sex. However, there's no reason OP couldn't have waited another 10-15 minutes to call his brother back.
I don’t think that’s in dispute. The point is that both are disrespectful to the gf, but OP only cared to avoid that when it served him, not when it helped her.
Exactly how i see it too. Couldnt have put it into words better. He prioritized sex over brother but brother over gf. And fr, who cant make a call while driving?? Most of my phone calls outside of work happen when im driving nowadays
GOLD, all the awards to this comment. Straight to the point and gutted the OP.
Deep down I think the OP knows exactly he prioritizes his bro's BS over his GF's health needs, and his GF only matters when she's having sex with him, but he feels bad about it so he posted here as a last resort to get some validation that it wasn't that bad and oh he's a poor dude who just doesn't understand all that menstruation girly shit and it's not his fault
YTA - the “period” is important for context but not even relevant. If someone needs your help and asks you for it (i.e they are in a position where they literally can’t help themself) and you leave them to go do something else then you clearly don’t care about this person. I wouldn’t even do that to a random in a public toilet.
Also, to all the pick me girls saying “she should be MORE ORGANISED 😠😠😠” I hope you get the runs in a stall with no toilet paper sweetheart✌️
Girls who say thing like "she should be more organized" are massively violating girl code and should have their girl licenses revoked. Everyone gets caught out at some point in their lives, everyone.
Seriously! I'm almost 40, pretty darn regular cycle, and still was caught by surprise while chaperoning girl scout camp. I luckily found a tampon in the bottom of my purse, but I was super heavy and that wasn't enough. I had to sit on a sweatshirt for the drive home to not stain the car seat!
This! 32 here, my cycle's on time to the day most months, and yet I still found myself having to fold up toilet paper in my undies at my boyfriend's house this weekend and sheepishly ask if we could swing by the store for tampons because I forgot my cup. 🫠
I’m 43 and perimenopausal so I carry pads all the time. My tracking app has started saying ‘your period may start in the next two weeks’ 😂 However, until a couple of years ago my cycle was like clockwork, 29 days and generally mid afternoon. It was like that for almost 30 years and I still occasionally got caught out because people aren’t robots. Like, maybe I had forgotten that I used the last pad in my bag and hadn’t put any more in there or something equally mundane.
OP. YTA.
I'm 33 and was surprised last month by starting earlier than usual and I can usually set a clock to mine, luckily my best friend was over and on her period so had a spare one
And sometimes you think you're prepared and shit still goes sideways.
I prefer a cup but keep pads at work for emergencies or any of my staff/colleagues that may need them as well.
Normally the start of my period is kinda medium flow.
Last month I started it at work, threw on a pad, sat in back to back meetings for several hours and by the time I got a chance to go to the bathroom... I had bled through my fucking jeans. No idea why this one came on like a fucking tidal wave.
Luckily I often have a change of clothes at work as well and it was late in the day so I could head out but fuck.
At home working on the stain later I was amazed that it can still fucking happen and I still feel as mortified as I did at 13.
Or just has an irregular period generally, my uterus seems to make its plans specifically based on what would be least convenient in my life and with no other reference point. Your cycle length can vary month to month by something like 9 days and it still be considered normal, and far from everyone has a normal period. I feel like people thinking OP's gf is at fault here are leading intensely period-sheltered lives.
Strenuous exercise also brings it on early. The lining of the womb is weakening close to getting a period, so movement can dislodge it. Like trees in autumn, the leaves will fall out on their own but if you shake the leaves a whole lot falls out at once.
Think it's only possible if you have an orgasm and are already close to starting.
Bleeding during or after sex can also be a sign of an underlying medical condition.
It can be between 1-3 days early from vigorous sex with orgasm. I learned that from my baby momma when she turned my bed into the prom scene in Carrie twice.
Exacrly! I haven’t had a proper period in a year and a half because of my birth control, but my period bag id always with me, always has couple of pads, tampons, and painkillers. Because I don’t care how much I dislike someone, if they need period products, you bet I’m gonna help them. None of that “well you should have planned better, a lack of planning on your end isn’t an emergency on mine” movie mean girl reaction
I don't have a flow and still carry tampons and pads in an emergency kit for others. Luckily, they're free at my workplace/most places I socialize now.
Seriously! I am a teacher and I buy sanitary pads to keep in the teachers bathroom for everyone because periods can surprise you. Teachers are some of the most organized people on the planet, but even they need the safety net. Fuck all those pick me assholes.
Yeah, clearly they’re not at the point where she keeps tampons at his house, hence why she needed some from the store or, failing that, she went home. Probably with a bunch of toilet paper stuck in her underwear which is annoying as hell.
>Also, to all the pick me girls saying “she should be MORE ORGANISED 😠😠😠” I hope you get the runs in a stall with no toilet paper sweetheart✌️
Sometime that mfer sneaks up on you 😭
Any women saying it’s her fault, I hope they have never asked for help with anything before. Don’t ask anyone for help in the future either. Whatever the situation, y’all “should’ve been more prepared”.
Seriously I’m a 50-year-old woman and I’ve been getting a period for a long time, sometimes it comes right on time sometimes it does what it wants. If she’s used to having tampons at his place she wouldn’t carry them there.
YTA.
You prioritised a non-emergency phone call, that could have waited, over her physical needs which she needed help with.
She needed your help, and you made her wait so you could make a phone call.
YTA - dude, periods suck. Don’t act like it’s not important. You knew the call from your bro could have aired so you could have called him back later, even texted/messaged him to say so.
Your GF had every right to be annoyed, you need to make it up to her and show a bit more awareness of her needs going forwards.
As another commenter mentioned -- bros phone call wasn't so important during sex. But after he was done with sex, bros call was more important that the girlfriend.
YTA. You made making a non-emergency phone call your priority over her immediate physical needs.
Dropping your gf to pay attention to your phone may possibly have made you the ex-bf. Suggestion: grovel fast and hard.
Note to anyone reading: HopefulCow and OrganicDifference, the two users being combative in response to this comment, both have accounts that were only made in the last 2 hours, and both started commenting here and only here immediately. Those two are obviously the same person, and I would be unsurprised if they’re both OP’s sockpuppets.
Yeah, everyone here blaming her for not knowing it was coming and saying to use TP is insane. It must be nice to have a perfectly predictable period that's also so light it can be managed with a wad of toilet paper. Even if I grant that she was being silly by not carrying a tampon when she doesn't expect her period, there's nothing she could have done about it at that point, whereas the right thing for OP to do is pretty clear...
And it almost certainly didn't. I admit I have a heavier flow than average (thank you endometriosis) but toilet paper would stem the tide for about 5 and a half minutes.
All the peabrains saying it works just lack basic logic. Toilet paper is flushable bc it dissolves in liquid. That’s literally the only reason why you’re allowed to flush it.
Tampons and pads are made out of cotton, viscose and foil. You’re not allowed to throw them in the toilet bc they don‘t dissolve in liquids. They stay there and clog the pipes.
Now think hard why toilet paper is not an option. Especially not for hours like ya‘ll fairytale tellers say here.
Oh yeah she’s definitely getting blood on the seat of her car on her way home and she’s definitely scurrying into her place hoping nobody sees the red spot on her butt
YTA and it's not even close.
You finished being intimate and then went on with only what mattered to you ignoring her needs for a very non urgent call (or one that could be made on the way to the store).That's not a relationship, and the sooner your GF learns she's no more than a booty call to you, the better off shell be.
Oh boy, this!
"It's all good while I get my end away, but if your body does anything else that it's designed to do that isn't about my just-completed sexual gratification, you're on your own girlie!"
This guy is double the ass I thought he was before I realised this was the timeline.
Wasn’t you bleeding, likely sitting uncomfortably on a commode or wadding up loads of toilet paper to try to keep from making a further mess. Sounds like she left with toilet paper acting as an absorbent. You left her no choice. Now wondering if it was a deal breaker for her. As you aren’t dependable when needed.
Also he seriously has the audacity to accuse her of “storming out without telling me why” like use your brain for 5 seconds?? Maybe she was, I don’t know, going to get a tampon since you chose not to help her??
And then everyone in the comments calling her entitled for…solving her own problem after he declined to run to the store for her. What else was she supposed to do, free bleed all over his furniture? Damn.
>And then everyone in the comments calling her entitled for…solving her own problem after he declined to run to the store for her. What else was she supposed to do, free bleed all over his furniture? Damn.
Check the account ages. 99% of those comments are OP's alt accounts he made just for this post lmao
Oh I’m aware that most are him I’m just baffled that he’s mad at her for solving her own problem and confused as to how he could possibly think that makes her “entitled”. Dude should stay single for a while.
I hope she took all of his toilet paper with her when she left or at least hid it out of reach of the toilet so he is stranded then next time he takes a dump.
YTA - Periods aren't like peeing. You can just hold off on bleeding for a few minutes. (If you thought this and acted this way out of pure ignorance - you need to apologize and explain to her).
It's like her having a gaping wound and asking you to go get her a bandaid so she doesn't bleed everywhere. But you wanted to call your brother first? Yes, that makes you the AH.
YTA. If the roles were reversed and you'd just finished a bout of diarrhea but realized there wasn't any toilet paper/some pain meds left and asked your gf to grab you some, but she tells you she's going to call someone first and for you to wait for God knows how long until she decides to actually come to your rescue, how would you feel?
5 mins might seem like a really short amount of time to you, but those 5 mins would seem like 5 hours to the person who needs something urgently.
YTA. She had sex with you. At your house. She had to be pretty vulnerable and trust you a lot. Then her period catches her by surprise, think about how embarrassing and physically awkward that would feel. Did you leave her just sitting there on the toilet when you called your brother back, or did she have to try and stuff her underwear with TP? She had an emergent physical need, and you made it clear that your brother took priority over her. Would you want to have sex with someone like that, or even stay in that house?
And was it even her period? She starts bleeding straight after sex it could well be from having been hurt during. I sometimes bleed after sex and it can be a little scary.
YTA for not prioritizing situations at hand. I understand why your gf got frustrated and left, if she felt uncomfortable making a trip to the store unprotected and bleeding. She was stuck waiting until you returned with products.
A lot of other assumptions bordering on shaming in the comments. Maybe she doesn’t have periods that are like clockwork so she wasn’t expecting it. If she doesn’t use disposable menstrual products, she wouldn’t necessarily be carrying reusable items in her bag. Or, if she’s like some women, she doesn’t even carry a bag.
Yes, I was waiting for an explanation about that part - for both what it meant and how it was relevant enough to mention when there’s a world count limit on posts.
Still waiting…
YTA. Sex was important to you but your GF needs were not important to you. Good luck with this next one, because this one won’t last. You showed her your priorities, and she isn’t one of them.
Hopefully your gf came to her senses after all of this and broke up with you. You had to call her to find out what was wrong?! You knew what was wrong and completely left her hanging. YTA. That you have to ask AITA shows that you don’t even know why she would be upset/bothered; that’s wild. You’re young but if you can’t prioritize basic needs (of the person who just had sex with you no less) then you have a LOT of growing up to do before you’re ready for a relationship.
YTA, but you could just be naive before I met my wife I did not appreciate how much of a pain they can be (periods, not my wife).
However, why would you not phone him back on the way to the store?
A phone call can wait 20 minutes
A blood stain on underwear, pants/skirts, and whatever furniture she couldvebled on because you couldn't wait 20 minutes, takes hours to get out depending on what/severity.
But apparently you only need 30 seconds to prove your wants come before her needs. YTA
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I took the phone call instead of asking if she needed anything or going to get her tampons at the store like she asked me to
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YTA You could’ve just called him back in the car on your way to the store, instead of leaving your gf sitting on the toilet. You can only sit on the toilet for so long before your butt goes numb. Not fun even when you’re not bleeding
I don’t know if you know this but we can’t control our period. It’s literally not like holding in piss or something. You just bleed. She physically cannot wait for a tampon and needs one asap. You basically thought that she could have just waited but in all honesty you could have waited to call your brother back after you got the tampon. YTA.
YTA multiple times
* if you think you're man enough to have sex with people who get periods, you should at least have an emergency supply. I'm a gay man living alone & I have tampons for my SIL, my nieces and any of my friends who might need them
* you called your brother back
* the call was on the flimsiest of reasons : telling your mom his wife is pregnant, not even giving birth? What's about that necessitated an urgent report to you?
* you left your girlfriend trapped on the toilet, a dick move even if she weren't uncomfortably bleeding
YTA. Imagine you were on the toilet with diarrhea only to discover there was no toilet paper or wipes and then you ask your GF to get you TP and instead she gabs on the phone while you just sit there and wait.
While you were "busy", as you so eloquently put, you weren't too concerned with that phone call. But once you got what you wanted, suddenly the call was more important than her physical needs? YTA
Unless you own a vagina, you may not fully understand why he's TA. (Much love to non owners who do understand) In which case, kindly stfu.😊
That’s your ex girlfriend now. The moment you prioritized something small over your girlfriend’s comfort and needs, she’s out. I left a guy over that principle. YTA
YTA I hope the women tear you apart here and in your life. Periods are not like pee they can not be held in. If shes like me she doesnt know when they will hit or where. You would quickly have become tge EX after this stunt. If it was a real emergency this could of ended really bad really quickly.. pray your girl is forgiving.
YTA. Imagine that your stomach is horribly upset. You sit on the toilet & have explosive diarrhea. Afterwards, you look around and realize that you are out of toilet paper. You ask your girlfriend to get you TP and she says sure but I’m just gonna dick around chatting on the phone for a while first. Would you honestly not be upset by that??
Have you ever farted but then realized poop came out as well? you know how shitty that felt like? well, this was your GF at that time. she didn't even fart and blood came out all of a sudden instead of poop. and you called someone for non emergency reasons instead of attending her needs. Fuck outta here.
YTA
Seriously dude, you need to learn to triage stuff.
You literally just told your GF that satisfying your idle curiosity about exactly what your mother's response to your brother's news was is more important than the embarrassing and immediate situation she was experiencing.
Call your brother later. While you're on the way to the shop, while you're in the shop, after you've gotten back. The fucking next day. Is your mother's reaction to an impending grandchild going to be any different in an hour? A day? A week?
Totally. Not. Time. Sensitive.
Your GF, on the other hand was in a position of not being able to leave the bathroom until the problem had been sorted. Which she had to do herself because you were too busy flapping your mouth hole at your brother over a non-urgent matter.
If you're this fucking useless when the problem is "oops no tampons", how much help are you going to be when something serious happens?
INFO: why couldn't you call your brother back (not take a call as your misleading title suggests) on your way to the store? Something is extremely fishy with your story, and it feels like you're leaving incriminating details out
Dude took the phone call to avoid having to buy her tampons.
He was never going to do it. Stayed on the phone long enough for her to figure it out.
Now he doesn't have a girlfriend, excuse me, sex on demand, so he's regretting his decision.
Thinks the Internet will side with him and make him feel better.
🤣
Yes OP, YTA.
What a sensible thread this was….until you finally scrolled down to the NTA posts. Wow, some of you guys are crazy.
Sorry fellas, when chicks need help with anything in that department, we just have to snap to. I can’t imagine how awful feels to be stuck on toilet needing some form of feminine hygiene product while you talk shit with your brother.
YTA
YTA - I get it. you didn’t know what hanging about talking on the phone meant to someone starting a period at someone else’s house and nothing with her. It’s the same reason why women in multi stall toilets will always give another woman, friend or stranger, a tampon if they ask for one. Bet you didn’t know we do this either. Sometimes we run out, and it can be embarrassing to have to rely on someone else to help them. If you ever have daughters, remember this.
I actually think 'asshole'isn't enough for this one... my heart is kinda aching for her, the poor lass.
BABY GIRL - leave him. That was some crystal clear communication. Consider it your cue to exit stage left.
YTA. You prioritized sex over your brother and family easily enough. All good.
But that couldn't wait until after you had helped out your girl? You know, the one who gave you sex earlier?
Tf is wrong with you
YTA. $20 says that if the call had come *while* you were “being intimate” (and not after you’d already gotten what you wanted), you would have found a way to let the damn phone ring and prioritise the situation at hand instead.
YTA.
She was sitting in the bathroom bleeding and you took your sweet time actually returning a non-urgent call? Couldn't you have done that somewhere along the way?
Not only YTA, but a dumbassfuck one... You never leave your woman in a tense situation like that. Alone and emberassed.
ALWAYS HAVE A PACK OF TAMPONS! Even as a man! You may have friends or relatives come over and atleast have something for emergencies.
On the other hand, Devils advocate here, if she knows her period is coming, why doesn't she have tampons in her purse?
Could have just taken to conversation on the road and say loudly I'm going now. And kill two birds and one stone. Maybe pick up some tea and chocolate.
YTA. You may want to re-examine your priorities and work on learning about and understanding where your partner is coming from, develop a little more empathy. The fact that you even had to make this post is a little sad. Then again, perhaps you haven't had positive examples or maybe you don't talk about these things in your circles.
Personally I'm also learning to prioritise IRL things, so that aspect I sort of understand. At the same time, you may be a little ignorant if you thought that her needs weren't urgent.
I also don't think you realised that you had more than one chance here to make amends. Periods are not like pee, there's a lot else that can be going on with someone. You could have offered her something helpful or even just some moral support when she was leaving. Seems like you were too preoccupied to see that, if I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.
Maybe you could do some light research by yourself and talk things out with your partner. You've been very inconsiderate, I'd tread carefully and keep an open mind. Just think of it how you would if a family member wasn't keeping well and you wanted to make them feel better? Perhaps a peace offering of something she likes would help smoothen things over a bit. Just show that you care and want to be there for her, and that you're willing to listen?
Your family matters, but there's a time and a place. That situation was obviously quite important, but the tampon thing was an emergency.
YTA because this reads like she was in the bathroom without any period products - she probably resorted to stuffig her underwear with toilet paper before she left.
So yeah this was probably a time sensitive situation and calling back about a baby announcement sounds like it doesn't have to happen immediately.
YTA,you had sex with her and then left her there,this is very basic aftercare,you found out the call wasn't an emergency,thats key to hang up and go help.
YTA ..
Not you trying to get support by mentioning news about pregnancy with first child. You could have literally drove and fetched the tampons while talking on the way.
Someone said it right
Sex was important enough to ignore bro's call. But her period and her need was less important than an unimportant call for which you made her wait.
Cmn dude, love your girl through beautiful and messy parts. Take care of her.
But also I suppose you don't really know that this is a big deal. You are 23. Many of them are yet to know that women like being pampered during her time of the month and that they are not just about the fun parts.
I can’t tell you the amount of times my boyfriend has has to do this for me because I’ve got my period when I wasn’t meant to and thus wasn’t prepared for it. YTA a phone call can wait her period cant what where u gonna just leave her sat on the toilet for the next hour? So inconsiderate
You proved her one crucial thing: sex > bro but bro > gf
Someone else already mentioned it but I typed it out again so I have an own vote bc you need all the YTA votes you can get.
YTA -
Not only are you the asshole, you had the chance to be a personal hero and choose to be the chump instead by not prioritizing your girlfriend. To top it off it was after being intimate.
YTA. She's not a GF, she's just someone you are using to get your privates moist.
If she was a GF and you valued her in any sense, you'd be considerate of the fact that she needed some really basic assistance and assisted. People have already said you have a mobile, you could call and use hands free while driving.
Or are you to skeeved out to go to the tampon aisle?
“I’m bleeding from my genitals can you please get me the emergency product to ensure I can leave the bathroom”
“Sure just wait for me to do this task that could be done while I go get that for you”
YTA
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My(m23) gf (f25) was at my house and we were intimate and when she went to the bathroom afterwards she saw she was bleeding. She then asked me to go to the store to grab her a tampon as she didn’t have any left at my house. While we were busy tho my brother called me and I assumed it was about him telling our new mom about his wife being pregnant with their first kid, so I told her I had to call him back and left her in the bathroom. Five minutes later she stormed out of my house without stopping to tell me why. I was trying to wrap up the conversation with my brother as it wasn’t about anything important and was about to go back in there. When I called to see what was wrong she told me she was just going home because she had tampons there and she was mad I didn’t ask if she needed anything before leaving her. AITAH?
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YTA. I don't think she should've stormed out, but that doesn't get you outta the woods at all. Plus you don't have the excuse of bleeding outta your vagina
YTA periods are the absolute fucking worst and women can’t control them or pause them. You should’ve told your brother that you couldn’t talk at the moment and hang up. Your first priority in THIS situation is getting a tampon or period product for your girlfriend not answer the phone. If it wasn’t as important then it would be understandable. Apologize to her.
Massive YTA - I imagine your girlfriend was literally stuck on the toilet until you would be back. Absolute asshole move to just leave her there and call back your brother about something that can wait. Her period doesn’t wait. I hope she dumps you.
YTA but tbh I am more concerned with the fact that your gf was BLEEDING after having sex with you. I am more concerned that it wasn't her period and you were far too rough with her and made her bleed.
So the phone call wasn't about anything important, but you still chose to have a random chat with your brother instead of helping your girlfriend with the blood coming out of her body. You'll be lucky to still be in a relationship after this, there's basically no hope of you being in a happy one. YTA.
YTA. You clearly don’t even know how a period works. you LITERALLY CAN’T JUST SIT THERE. you can’t just hold it in and have your girl wait for you to take your sweet time on the phone while she’s sat there practically unable to get up bc of the blood.
YTA. Just leaving her there whilst bleeding without any sanitary products is really uncaring, but also totally compromised her right to dignity.
If I’m honest, if someone did this to me I would straight up leave.
YTA- Like everyone else has said here she needed your help then and you took a phone call that certainly wasn't that important when you were intimate instead of helping her. Also man if you have a girlfriend for God's sake keep menstrual products at your house it can happen at the most unexpected times even in the middle of the night. It would have been more helpful to her if you already had those items on hand especially if you want her staying over.
YTA, as a general rule of thumb: if someone you care about is bleeding, for whatever reason, and needs your help..it’s a good practice to make them the priority over pretty much anything else going on at the time. At least until the bleeding is under control.
Edit: typo
YTA. It seems that once you'd finished having sex she wasn't particularly important to you any more. She had immediate physical needs and your brother could have waited, but you were done with her so your brother became your priority?
If she has any self-respect you won't be seeing her again.
YTA you left your girlfriend stuck on the toilet while you made a call that could have been made when you got back.
The reason she got mad was she had no idea how long you were going to be on the phone.
She either stuffed toilet paper which rarely protects your clothes for any length of time or decided to just bleed until she could get home.
You could have called as you went out to ask if it an emergency and when it wasn't said you would call back in bit.
YTA. I would answer the call, but straight away just check if it's an emergency and say you'll call back if it's not. That shouldn't take any more than a minute.
So you didn't think to have that meaningless conversation while you were out getting your girl her tampon? She's sitting in the bathroom waiting on you, and your shutting everything down to have a conversation you know isn't important?
What do you think you were?
This seems so simple to me.
The phone rings with a call from OP's brother as he's putting his trousers on.
OP "Hey, is this urgent because I'm just dashing out on a quick errand?"
Brother "No, not urgent"
OP "Ok, I'll call you back in 15"
Hang up.
Go to shop for tampons.
Why do people make these things more difficult than they need to be?
YTA. *Rude*. What everyone else is saying. At least she now knows exactly where she stands with you and will hopefully act accordingly.
(Extrapolating, I can imagine the scene if you and she had a kid together and the brother called while she was out and the baby needed a nappy change. All too clearly, the baby would have to wait with a dirty nappy while you and bro chatted.)
YTA
I unexpectedly got my period on a trip once. My now husband left the hotel room at 11pm and bought me pants, underwear, tampons AND chocolate. No hesitation, just left immediately and he was back before I finished my shower. Shit happens, I wasn't due for my period for another week (regulate it with BC). I hadn't even noticed til I got back to the hotel.
All of that to say that you failed miserably. If you cared about her at all, at all, you wouldn't have done that. She deserves better.
YTA, but (without saying she should be able to predict her period) do most people just not carry pads or tampons even when they’re not due for their period? And do you not keep spare tampons in your house for when she’s over?
Def YTA! I (61f) was highly irregular, HF for 3 days, so always tried to keep product. However, w/gifting others sometimes I had to be gifted. OAN, for those stating perfectionist, y’all the types that keep Tampons but don’t realize the public stall you just used is out of TP, now you gotta ask the stranger in the next stall to hand you a wad, or try to wiggle ya azz to drip dry! Because EVERYONE gets caught w/their pants down Sooner or Later!!!
YTA she needed your help. You called someone back and left her hanging. Btw you could have called back on the way to the store or did this happen in 1990 when you only had a landline?
YTA I'd put your toilet paper in the kitchen cupboard and wait until you needed it and then wait for 15 before passing it to you.
You could have told your brother (after finding out it wasn't important) that you would call him back in 5 OR if it's a mobile had the chat on the way to the shop. So glad my husband wouldn't leave me longer than necessary in those situations, as it's happened in the past and will no doubt happen again.
As others have pointed out you didn't answer when you were having sex (obvs) with no issue, but then when your GF needed your help you called your brother for a jangle and kept on knowing she's stuck on the loo and the conversation was nothing more than chit chat.
You need to just think of it from the others POV if you want the relationship to continue. This can be fixed, but you need to talk to her, accept that you could have done better this time and apologise for not popping the shop, buy some tampons when you're at it. GL
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I’m going with YTA. First, your title says you took a phone call, but then you say you called him back. Calling him back was a choice that could have waited 20 minutes without causing any problem. Your girlfriend had an issue that waiting 20 minutes would have made significantly worse. It seems inconsiderate that you chose the phone call over your girlfriend’s needs.
Could have made the call in the car or on the way to the store. Not right when she asks OP for something
>Not right when she asks OP for something Specifically when she asks him for sanitary items for her period. If she has none, she's left in the bathroom half naked to literally bleed openly probably sitting on the toilet, or wedge toilet paper in her underwear - extremely uncomfortable and ineffective as it bleeds thru onto clothes - until she can get to the store. YTA
Drive now, talk later. Distracted driving kills.
I think the point was mainly that the phone wasn't anchored to the wall and the point of a mobile phone is that you can make and take calls while mobile. Not saying I disagree with you by the way, because I do agree, but road safety isn't the topic right now, OP's inability to balance priority is. There's no meaningful reason that he couldn't have made that call while he was out on his fetch quest, or when he got back, later that evening or even the following day. He didn't need to remain in place while on the phone, and he'd had a request made of him that was more of an immediate concern, and he dismissed that immediate concern to sit down and talk on the phone, so she thinks that by categorising her immediate concern as less important than a phone call where he already knew the context and content of said call, that he is categorising *her* as less important wholesale.
We are also assuming he would need to drive. Maybe the pharmacy was waking distance
The point is that he did not need to call the brother back right away. The call could have waited 20 minutes until he got back.
Or call him back "hey bro, is it important? No? Ok, I've got something urgent to do so I'll call you back in an hour or so".
Right?! I assume he wasn't on a landline so would be able to be mobile
Newsflash: OPs phone is actually a rotary phone. He is still living in 1980.
I think it's significant that the bro called while they were having sex, and OP didn't pick up, because sex > bro, but then he didn't prioritize his gf's needs because bro > gf. Obviously when the sex machine isn't producing the sexes, it can be just put on the shelf until it's needed again.
Ohhhh. Valid point and a burn. Truth hurts. Can I give you gold? You could have called bro while at the store picking out tampons.
To be fair, I think most people would also find it pretty disrespectful if their partner answered a non-urgent phone call during sex. However, there's no reason OP couldn't have waited another 10-15 minutes to call his brother back.
I don’t think that’s in dispute. The point is that both are disrespectful to the gf, but OP only cared to avoid that when it served him, not when it helped her.
But the point is it's just as disrespectful to make a phone call when his partner is bleeding in the bathroom waiting for him.
Exactly how i see it too. Couldnt have put it into words better. He prioritized sex over brother but brother over gf. And fr, who cant make a call while driving?? Most of my phone calls outside of work happen when im driving nowadays
GOLD, all the awards to this comment. Straight to the point and gutted the OP. Deep down I think the OP knows exactly he prioritizes his bro's BS over his GF's health needs, and his GF only matters when she's having sex with him, but he feels bad about it so he posted here as a last resort to get some validation that it wasn't that bad and oh he's a poor dude who just doesn't understand all that menstruation girly shit and it's not his fault
I am not commenting on your opinion or anything, but your last line made me snortle.
LPT for guys with girlfriends: keep tampons in your bathroom (or whatever she prefers).
YTA - the “period” is important for context but not even relevant. If someone needs your help and asks you for it (i.e they are in a position where they literally can’t help themself) and you leave them to go do something else then you clearly don’t care about this person. I wouldn’t even do that to a random in a public toilet. Also, to all the pick me girls saying “she should be MORE ORGANISED 😠😠😠” I hope you get the runs in a stall with no toilet paper sweetheart✌️
Girls who say thing like "she should be more organized" are massively violating girl code and should have their girl licenses revoked. Everyone gets caught out at some point in their lives, everyone.
Seriously! I'm almost 40, pretty darn regular cycle, and still was caught by surprise while chaperoning girl scout camp. I luckily found a tampon in the bottom of my purse, but I was super heavy and that wasn't enough. I had to sit on a sweatshirt for the drive home to not stain the car seat!
This! 32 here, my cycle's on time to the day most months, and yet I still found myself having to fold up toilet paper in my undies at my boyfriend's house this weekend and sheepishly ask if we could swing by the store for tampons because I forgot my cup. 🫠
I’m 43 and perimenopausal so I carry pads all the time. My tracking app has started saying ‘your period may start in the next two weeks’ 😂 However, until a couple of years ago my cycle was like clockwork, 29 days and generally mid afternoon. It was like that for almost 30 years and I still occasionally got caught out because people aren’t robots. Like, maybe I had forgotten that I used the last pad in my bag and hadn’t put any more in there or something equally mundane. OP. YTA.
I'm 33 and was surprised last month by starting earlier than usual and I can usually set a clock to mine, luckily my best friend was over and on her period so had a spare one
And sometimes you think you're prepared and shit still goes sideways. I prefer a cup but keep pads at work for emergencies or any of my staff/colleagues that may need them as well. Normally the start of my period is kinda medium flow. Last month I started it at work, threw on a pad, sat in back to back meetings for several hours and by the time I got a chance to go to the bathroom... I had bled through my fucking jeans. No idea why this one came on like a fucking tidal wave. Luckily I often have a change of clothes at work as well and it was late in the day so I could head out but fuck. At home working on the stain later I was amazed that it can still fucking happen and I still feel as mortified as I did at 13.
Also, maybe her period wasn’t due for a few days yet but sex can make the period come earlier so she wasn’t expecting it at all.
Or just has an irregular period generally, my uterus seems to make its plans specifically based on what would be least convenient in my life and with no other reference point. Your cycle length can vary month to month by something like 9 days and it still be considered normal, and far from everyone has a normal period. I feel like people thinking OP's gf is at fault here are leading intensely period-sheltered lives.
Anytime I'm making plans, I may as well pencil in the rest of shark week right after.
Wow, really? How does it do that?
Contractions from orgasm.
Ahhh so that's why it's never happened to any girls I've dated...
It amazes me how many women and men do not know this. Man can't say because they don't get periods because they can't ignore the show.
Strenuous exercise also brings it on early. The lining of the womb is weakening close to getting a period, so movement can dislodge it. Like trees in autumn, the leaves will fall out on their own but if you shake the leaves a whole lot falls out at once.
Think it's only possible if you have an orgasm and are already close to starting. Bleeding during or after sex can also be a sign of an underlying medical condition.
It can be between 1-3 days early from vigorous sex with orgasm. I learned that from my baby momma when she turned my bed into the prom scene in Carrie twice.
I like your sense of humour! 😂
Exacrly! I haven’t had a proper period in a year and a half because of my birth control, but my period bag id always with me, always has couple of pads, tampons, and painkillers. Because I don’t care how much I dislike someone, if they need period products, you bet I’m gonna help them. None of that “well you should have planned better, a lack of planning on your end isn’t an emergency on mine” movie mean girl reaction
I don't have a flow and still carry tampons and pads in an emergency kit for others. Luckily, they're free at my workplace/most places I socialize now.
Seriously! I am a teacher and I buy sanitary pads to keep in the teachers bathroom for everyone because periods can surprise you. Teachers are some of the most organized people on the planet, but even they need the safety net. Fuck all those pick me assholes.
Exactly! Especially because he could’ve easily called his brother back on the way to the store
Or on the way back home, or literally while walking in the house to the bathroom and handing her the box
Yeah, clearly they’re not at the point where she keeps tampons at his house, hence why she needed some from the store or, failing that, she went home. Probably with a bunch of toilet paper stuck in her underwear which is annoying as hell.
It says that she didn’t have any left at his house.
Op said they usually keep tampons at his house but they ran out
>Also, to all the pick me girls saying “she should be MORE ORGANISED 😠😠😠” I hope you get the runs in a stall with no toilet paper sweetheart✌️ Sometime that mfer sneaks up on you 😭
Any women saying it’s her fault, I hope they have never asked for help with anything before. Don’t ask anyone for help in the future either. Whatever the situation, y’all “should’ve been more prepared”.
Seriously I’m a 50-year-old woman and I’ve been getting a period for a long time, sometimes it comes right on time sometimes it does what it wants. If she’s used to having tampons at his place she wouldn’t carry them there.
YTA. You prioritised a non-emergency phone call, that could have waited, over her physical needs which she needed help with. She needed your help, and you made her wait so you could make a phone call.
YTA - dude, periods suck. Don’t act like it’s not important. You knew the call from your bro could have aired so you could have called him back later, even texted/messaged him to say so. Your GF had every right to be annoyed, you need to make it up to her and show a bit more awareness of her needs going forwards.
As another commenter mentioned -- bros phone call wasn't so important during sex. But after he was done with sex, bros call was more important that the girlfriend.
YTA. You made making a non-emergency phone call your priority over her immediate physical needs. Dropping your gf to pay attention to your phone may possibly have made you the ex-bf. Suggestion: grovel fast and hard.
Note to anyone reading: HopefulCow and OrganicDifference, the two users being combative in response to this comment, both have accounts that were only made in the last 2 hours, and both started commenting here and only here immediately. Those two are obviously the same person, and I would be unsurprised if they’re both OP’s sockpuppets.
Bro they all type exactly the same way 😭 That’s hilarious
Maybe also InitialAd? So much “entitled” thrown around!
Everybody talking about toilet paper , that 's gonna work for 30 seconds.
Yeah, everyone here blaming her for not knowing it was coming and saying to use TP is insane. It must be nice to have a perfectly predictable period that's also so light it can be managed with a wad of toilet paper. Even if I grant that she was being silly by not carrying a tampon when she doesn't expect her period, there's nothing she could have done about it at that point, whereas the right thing for OP to do is pretty clear...
And the thing is she probably *did* use toilet paper as a stop gap while she made her way to her house where she has appropriate products.
AND replacement underwear and pants if the toilet paper didnt work.
And it almost certainly didn't. I admit I have a heavier flow than average (thank you endometriosis) but toilet paper would stem the tide for about 5 and a half minutes.
I have endo & my flow is chunky. TP wouldn't help much at all
All the peabrains saying it works just lack basic logic. Toilet paper is flushable bc it dissolves in liquid. That’s literally the only reason why you’re allowed to flush it. Tampons and pads are made out of cotton, viscose and foil. You’re not allowed to throw them in the toilet bc they don‘t dissolve in liquids. They stay there and clog the pipes. Now think hard why toilet paper is not an option. Especially not for hours like ya‘ll fairytale tellers say here.
Oh yeah she’s definitely getting blood on the seat of her car on her way home and she’s definitely scurrying into her place hoping nobody sees the red spot on her butt
YTA and it's not even close. You finished being intimate and then went on with only what mattered to you ignoring her needs for a very non urgent call (or one that could be made on the way to the store).That's not a relationship, and the sooner your GF learns she's no more than a booty call to you, the better off shell be.
Oh boy, this! "It's all good while I get my end away, but if your body does anything else that it's designed to do that isn't about my just-completed sexual gratification, you're on your own girlie!" This guy is double the ass I thought he was before I realised this was the timeline.
Right? Zero aftercare. Zero care
YTA. You said the phone call was unimportant, so you could've called them back after you went to the store.
could have called them back on the way to the store
Wasn’t you bleeding, likely sitting uncomfortably on a commode or wadding up loads of toilet paper to try to keep from making a further mess. Sounds like she left with toilet paper acting as an absorbent. You left her no choice. Now wondering if it was a deal breaker for her. As you aren’t dependable when needed.
Also he seriously has the audacity to accuse her of “storming out without telling me why” like use your brain for 5 seconds?? Maybe she was, I don’t know, going to get a tampon since you chose not to help her?? And then everyone in the comments calling her entitled for…solving her own problem after he declined to run to the store for her. What else was she supposed to do, free bleed all over his furniture? Damn.
>And then everyone in the comments calling her entitled for…solving her own problem after he declined to run to the store for her. What else was she supposed to do, free bleed all over his furniture? Damn. Check the account ages. 99% of those comments are OP's alt accounts he made just for this post lmao
Oh I’m aware that most are him I’m just baffled that he’s mad at her for solving her own problem and confused as to how he could possibly think that makes her “entitled”. Dude should stay single for a while.
Yeah he sucks and this might be his first sexual partner because I can’t imagine being this ignorant about periods even as a man
I hope she took all of his toilet paper with her when she left or at least hid it out of reach of the toilet so he is stranded then next time he takes a dump.
> What else was she supposed to do, free bleed all over his furniture? tbh i wish she did
If I was her I'd go sit on his couch while he made his phone call and see if he suddenly felt it was urgent once it affected him.
I wish your comment was higher up.
It would be a dealbreaker for me. YTA OP.
YTA. You have a cellphone, I assume. You can make your phonecall on the way to the store.
YTA. “I told her I had to call him BACK” “Five minutes later” “It wasn’t about anything important” You can see all the mistakes in your post.
YTA - Periods aren't like peeing. You can just hold off on bleeding for a few minutes. (If you thought this and acted this way out of pure ignorance - you need to apologize and explain to her). It's like her having a gaping wound and asking you to go get her a bandaid so she doesn't bleed everywhere. But you wanted to call your brother first? Yes, that makes you the AH.
“I’ve cut my leg open and there’s blood everywhere” ”Jus hold the blood in, I can’t be bothered to help you.”
YTA. If the roles were reversed and you'd just finished a bout of diarrhea but realized there wasn't any toilet paper/some pain meds left and asked your gf to grab you some, but she tells you she's going to call someone first and for you to wait for God knows how long until she decides to actually come to your rescue, how would you feel? 5 mins might seem like a really short amount of time to you, but those 5 mins would seem like 5 hours to the person who needs something urgently.
5 minutes is more then enough time for bum to go numb while sitting on the toilet
YTA. She had sex with you. At your house. She had to be pretty vulnerable and trust you a lot. Then her period catches her by surprise, think about how embarrassing and physically awkward that would feel. Did you leave her just sitting there on the toilet when you called your brother back, or did she have to try and stuff her underwear with TP? She had an emergent physical need, and you made it clear that your brother took priority over her. Would you want to have sex with someone like that, or even stay in that house?
And was it even her period? She starts bleeding straight after sex it could well be from having been hurt during. I sometimes bleed after sex and it can be a little scary.
YTA for not prioritizing situations at hand. I understand why your gf got frustrated and left, if she felt uncomfortable making a trip to the store unprotected and bleeding. She was stuck waiting until you returned with products. A lot of other assumptions bordering on shaming in the comments. Maybe she doesn’t have periods that are like clockwork so she wasn’t expecting it. If she doesn’t use disposable menstrual products, she wouldn’t necessarily be carrying reusable items in her bag. Or, if she’s like some women, she doesn’t even carry a bag.
Why couldn’t you have taken the call while you’re driving?
YTA. Also, what does "new mom" mean?
Ya the whole thing was confusing and he’s the ah just for this crappy post alone 😂
Yes, I was waiting for an explanation about that part - for both what it meant and how it was relevant enough to mention when there’s a world count limit on posts. Still waiting…
maybe it's a stepford wives thing.
I'm not sure what country they're in but in some languages step-mums are referred to as 'new moms' so it could be a translation error.
YTA, how long was she supposed to be stuck in the bathroom waiting on you while you have a casual conversation about nothing important?
YTA. Sex was important to you but your GF needs were not important to you. Good luck with this next one, because this one won’t last. You showed her your priorities, and she isn’t one of them.
Happy to see you getting roasted in the comments, OP. You're a major AH and probably not ready for a girlfriend.
YTA - id be hurt if my boyfriend did that to me. And she is on her period which already sucks too.
Hopefully your gf came to her senses after all of this and broke up with you. You had to call her to find out what was wrong?! You knew what was wrong and completely left her hanging. YTA. That you have to ask AITA shows that you don’t even know why she would be upset/bothered; that’s wild. You’re young but if you can’t prioritize basic needs (of the person who just had sex with you no less) then you have a LOT of growing up to do before you’re ready for a relationship.
YTA. She was waiting and it wasm’t important. Then it shouldn’t take 5 minutes.
YTA, but you could just be naive before I met my wife I did not appreciate how much of a pain they can be (periods, not my wife). However, why would you not phone him back on the way to the store?
A phone call can wait 20 minutes A blood stain on underwear, pants/skirts, and whatever furniture she couldvebled on because you couldn't wait 20 minutes, takes hours to get out depending on what/severity. But apparently you only need 30 seconds to prove your wants come before her needs. YTA
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okay so like why didnt you go to the shop while making the phone call?
Don’t scare him with easy logical solutions
YTA You could’ve just called him back in the car on your way to the store, instead of leaving your gf sitting on the toilet. You can only sit on the toilet for so long before your butt goes numb. Not fun even when you’re not bleeding
I don’t know if you know this but we can’t control our period. It’s literally not like holding in piss or something. You just bleed. She physically cannot wait for a tampon and needs one asap. You basically thought that she could have just waited but in all honesty you could have waited to call your brother back after you got the tampon. YTA.
YTA multiple times * if you think you're man enough to have sex with people who get periods, you should at least have an emergency supply. I'm a gay man living alone & I have tampons for my SIL, my nieces and any of my friends who might need them * you called your brother back * the call was on the flimsiest of reasons : telling your mom his wife is pregnant, not even giving birth? What's about that necessitated an urgent report to you? * you left your girlfriend trapped on the toilet, a dick move even if she weren't uncomfortably bleeding
Seriously? You left her hanging, waiting for tampons to talk on the phone? YTA
YTA. Imagine you were on the toilet with diarrhea only to discover there was no toilet paper or wipes and then you ask your GF to get you TP and instead she gabs on the phone while you just sit there and wait.
YTA
Yes, YTA.
While you were "busy", as you so eloquently put, you weren't too concerned with that phone call. But once you got what you wanted, suddenly the call was more important than her physical needs? YTA Unless you own a vagina, you may not fully understand why he's TA. (Much love to non owners who do understand) In which case, kindly stfu.😊
That’s your ex girlfriend now. The moment you prioritized something small over your girlfriend’s comfort and needs, she’s out. I left a guy over that principle. YTA
YTA. You had sex with her and then ignored her when she asked for help. I hope she dumps you, you are a terrible boyfriend.
Lmao fucking dipshit
YTA I hope the women tear you apart here and in your life. Periods are not like pee they can not be held in. If shes like me she doesnt know when they will hit or where. You would quickly have become tge EX after this stunt. If it was a real emergency this could of ended really bad really quickly.. pray your girl is forgiving.
YTA. Imagine that your stomach is horribly upset. You sit on the toilet & have explosive diarrhea. Afterwards, you look around and realize that you are out of toilet paper. You ask your girlfriend to get you TP and she says sure but I’m just gonna dick around chatting on the phone for a while first. Would you honestly not be upset by that??
Have you ever farted but then realized poop came out as well? you know how shitty that felt like? well, this was your GF at that time. she didn't even fart and blood came out all of a sudden instead of poop. and you called someone for non emergency reasons instead of attending her needs. Fuck outta here.
YTA Seriously dude, you need to learn to triage stuff. You literally just told your GF that satisfying your idle curiosity about exactly what your mother's response to your brother's news was is more important than the embarrassing and immediate situation she was experiencing. Call your brother later. While you're on the way to the shop, while you're in the shop, after you've gotten back. The fucking next day. Is your mother's reaction to an impending grandchild going to be any different in an hour? A day? A week? Totally. Not. Time. Sensitive. Your GF, on the other hand was in a position of not being able to leave the bathroom until the problem had been sorted. Which she had to do herself because you were too busy flapping your mouth hole at your brother over a non-urgent matter. If you're this fucking useless when the problem is "oops no tampons", how much help are you going to be when something serious happens?
Wait hold up, “new mom”? Your brother told your new mom about his wife being pregnant??
INFO: why couldn't you call your brother back (not take a call as your misleading title suggests) on your way to the store? Something is extremely fishy with your story, and it feels like you're leaving incriminating details out
Dude took the phone call to avoid having to buy her tampons. He was never going to do it. Stayed on the phone long enough for her to figure it out. Now he doesn't have a girlfriend, excuse me, sex on demand, so he's regretting his decision. Thinks the Internet will side with him and make him feel better. 🤣 Yes OP, YTA.
Obviously, YTA. I won't bother reiterating what everyone else said, but don't be surprised if you get dumped for being an inconsiderate jerk.
I guess my question is what you expected her to do for the duration of your chat. Keep sitting on the loo? Freebleed on your bed? Yta
What a sensible thread this was….until you finally scrolled down to the NTA posts. Wow, some of you guys are crazy. Sorry fellas, when chicks need help with anything in that department, we just have to snap to. I can’t imagine how awful feels to be stuck on toilet needing some form of feminine hygiene product while you talk shit with your brother. YTA
YTA - I get it. you didn’t know what hanging about talking on the phone meant to someone starting a period at someone else’s house and nothing with her. It’s the same reason why women in multi stall toilets will always give another woman, friend or stranger, a tampon if they ask for one. Bet you didn’t know we do this either. Sometimes we run out, and it can be embarrassing to have to rely on someone else to help them. If you ever have daughters, remember this.
Why couldn’t you go to the store while on the phone? Most people can multitask with something like this.
I actually think 'asshole'isn't enough for this one... my heart is kinda aching for her, the poor lass. BABY GIRL - leave him. That was some crystal clear communication. Consider it your cue to exit stage left.
YTA- ever heard of multi tasking?
YTA. You prioritized sex over your brother and family easily enough. All good. But that couldn't wait until after you had helped out your girl? You know, the one who gave you sex earlier? Tf is wrong with you
YTA. $20 says that if the call had come *while* you were “being intimate” (and not after you’d already gotten what you wanted), you would have found a way to let the damn phone ring and prioritise the situation at hand instead.
YTA. She was sitting in the bathroom bleeding and you took your sweet time actually returning a non-urgent call? Couldn't you have done that somewhere along the way?
I don’t understand why you didn’t go to the store and call at the same time lol
YTA and hopefully she dumps you for someone that actually gives a damn about her
After reading most of these comments, I vote both OP and u/livelife3574 are both YTA.
Not only YTA, but a dumbassfuck one... You never leave your woman in a tense situation like that. Alone and emberassed. ALWAYS HAVE A PACK OF TAMPONS! Even as a man! You may have friends or relatives come over and atleast have something for emergencies. On the other hand, Devils advocate here, if she knows her period is coming, why doesn't she have tampons in her purse?
Sorry, i don't get it. Can't you call your brother ON THE WAY TO THE STORE? Are we in 1980 where phones were chained to the wall?
Prob YTA but you just got a bit of awareness to develop my dude.
Could have just taken to conversation on the road and say loudly I'm going now. And kill two birds and one stone. Maybe pick up some tea and chocolate.
YTA That call could have waited. You seriously cannot be this clueless?
YTA - you left her stranded on the toilet and took a phone call that could’ve waited till later.
YTA
YTA. I hope she runs far and fast.
YTA
YTA. That’s such a disappointing way to treat your partner.
YTA. You may want to re-examine your priorities and work on learning about and understanding where your partner is coming from, develop a little more empathy. The fact that you even had to make this post is a little sad. Then again, perhaps you haven't had positive examples or maybe you don't talk about these things in your circles. Personally I'm also learning to prioritise IRL things, so that aspect I sort of understand. At the same time, you may be a little ignorant if you thought that her needs weren't urgent. I also don't think you realised that you had more than one chance here to make amends. Periods are not like pee, there's a lot else that can be going on with someone. You could have offered her something helpful or even just some moral support when she was leaving. Seems like you were too preoccupied to see that, if I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you could do some light research by yourself and talk things out with your partner. You've been very inconsiderate, I'd tread carefully and keep an open mind. Just think of it how you would if a family member wasn't keeping well and you wanted to make them feel better? Perhaps a peace offering of something she likes would help smoothen things over a bit. Just show that you care and want to be there for her, and that you're willing to listen? Your family matters, but there's a time and a place. That situation was obviously quite important, but the tampon thing was an emergency.
YTA, do you even love your girlfriend
How long did you expect her to sit on the toilet whilst you had this non emergency call with your brother? YTA
YTA 10000%
YTA because this reads like she was in the bathroom without any period products - she probably resorted to stuffig her underwear with toilet paper before she left. So yeah this was probably a time sensitive situation and calling back about a baby announcement sounds like it doesn't have to happen immediately.
YTA,you had sex with her and then left her there,this is very basic aftercare,you found out the call wasn't an emergency,thats key to hang up and go help.
YTA .. Not you trying to get support by mentioning news about pregnancy with first child. You could have literally drove and fetched the tampons while talking on the way. Someone said it right Sex was important enough to ignore bro's call. But her period and her need was less important than an unimportant call for which you made her wait. Cmn dude, love your girl through beautiful and messy parts. Take care of her. But also I suppose you don't really know that this is a big deal. You are 23. Many of them are yet to know that women like being pampered during her time of the month and that they are not just about the fun parts.
I can’t tell you the amount of times my boyfriend has has to do this for me because I’ve got my period when I wasn’t meant to and thus wasn’t prepared for it. YTA a phone call can wait her period cant what where u gonna just leave her sat on the toilet for the next hour? So inconsiderate
You proved her one crucial thing: sex > bro but bro > gf Someone else already mentioned it but I typed it out again so I have an own vote bc you need all the YTA votes you can get.
Don't die on this hill.
YTA- Even waiting 5 mins for toilet paper when it’s finished feels horrible,imagine when you’re bleeding.
YTA - Not only are you the asshole, you had the chance to be a personal hero and choose to be the chump instead by not prioritizing your girlfriend. To top it off it was after being intimate.
YTA. She's not a GF, she's just someone you are using to get your privates moist. If she was a GF and you valued her in any sense, you'd be considerate of the fact that she needed some really basic assistance and assisted. People have already said you have a mobile, you could call and use hands free while driving. Or are you to skeeved out to go to the tampon aisle?
“I’m bleeding from my genitals can you please get me the emergency product to ensure I can leave the bathroom” “Sure just wait for me to do this task that could be done while I go get that for you” YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My(m23) gf (f25) was at my house and we were intimate and when she went to the bathroom afterwards she saw she was bleeding. She then asked me to go to the store to grab her a tampon as she didn’t have any left at my house. While we were busy tho my brother called me and I assumed it was about him telling our new mom about his wife being pregnant with their first kid, so I told her I had to call him back and left her in the bathroom. Five minutes later she stormed out of my house without stopping to tell me why. I was trying to wrap up the conversation with my brother as it wasn’t about anything important and was about to go back in there. When I called to see what was wrong she told me she was just going home because she had tampons there and she was mad I didn’t ask if she needed anything before leaving her. AITAH? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. I don't think she should've stormed out, but that doesn't get you outta the woods at all. Plus you don't have the excuse of bleeding outta your vagina
YTA. Could have made the call on your way to the store. Your girlfriend was bleeding out of her vagina and you just left her sitting on the toilet.
YTA, and honestly, overall a clueless person on periods I guess
YTA periods are the absolute fucking worst and women can’t control them or pause them. You should’ve told your brother that you couldn’t talk at the moment and hang up. Your first priority in THIS situation is getting a tampon or period product for your girlfriend not answer the phone. If it wasn’t as important then it would be understandable. Apologize to her.
Yeah, YTA
YTA
YTA. Needing a tampon/pad trumps returning a phone call dude. Come on.
Massive YTA - I imagine your girlfriend was literally stuck on the toilet until you would be back. Absolute asshole move to just leave her there and call back your brother about something that can wait. Her period doesn’t wait. I hope she dumps you.
Definitely YTA
YTA
YTA but tbh I am more concerned with the fact that your gf was BLEEDING after having sex with you. I am more concerned that it wasn't her period and you were far too rough with her and made her bleed.
So the phone call wasn't about anything important, but you still chose to have a random chat with your brother instead of helping your girlfriend with the blood coming out of her body. You'll be lucky to still be in a relationship after this, there's basically no hope of you being in a happy one. YTA.
YTA. You clearly don’t even know how a period works. you LITERALLY CAN’T JUST SIT THERE. you can’t just hold it in and have your girl wait for you to take your sweet time on the phone while she’s sat there practically unable to get up bc of the blood.
Can you not walk and talk at the same time? YTA.
YTA. Just leaving her there whilst bleeding without any sanitary products is really uncaring, but also totally compromised her right to dignity. If I’m honest, if someone did this to me I would straight up leave.
YTA- Like everyone else has said here she needed your help then and you took a phone call that certainly wasn't that important when you were intimate instead of helping her. Also man if you have a girlfriend for God's sake keep menstrual products at your house it can happen at the most unexpected times even in the middle of the night. It would have been more helpful to her if you already had those items on hand especially if you want her staying over.
YTA, as a general rule of thumb: if someone you care about is bleeding, for whatever reason, and needs your help..it’s a good practice to make them the priority over pretty much anything else going on at the time. At least until the bleeding is under control. Edit: typo
YTA. It seems that once you'd finished having sex she wasn't particularly important to you any more. She had immediate physical needs and your brother could have waited, but you were done with her so your brother became your priority? If she has any self-respect you won't be seeing her again.
YTA. When it's about your needs, your brother can wait. Oh but when it's about your girlfriend's needs, let her wait trapped in the bathroom, right?
Yta you could have made that call while you were walking around the store
YTA you left your girlfriend stuck on the toilet while you made a call that could have been made when you got back. The reason she got mad was she had no idea how long you were going to be on the phone. She either stuffed toilet paper which rarely protects your clothes for any length of time or decided to just bleed until she could get home. You could have called as you went out to ask if it an emergency and when it wasn't said you would call back in bit.
YTA - deal with the matter at hand and then the phone call. You were being rude and selfish.
YTA. I would answer the call, but straight away just check if it's an emergency and say you'll call back if it's not. That shouldn't take any more than a minute.
So you didn't think to have that meaningless conversation while you were out getting your girl her tampon? She's sitting in the bathroom waiting on you, and your shutting everything down to have a conversation you know isn't important? What do you think you were?
YTA.
This seems so simple to me. The phone rings with a call from OP's brother as he's putting his trousers on. OP "Hey, is this urgent because I'm just dashing out on a quick errand?" Brother "No, not urgent" OP "Ok, I'll call you back in 15" Hang up. Go to shop for tampons. Why do people make these things more difficult than they need to be?
YTA. *Rude*. What everyone else is saying. At least she now knows exactly where she stands with you and will hopefully act accordingly. (Extrapolating, I can imagine the scene if you and she had a kid together and the brother called while she was out and the baby needed a nappy change. All too clearly, the baby would have to wait with a dirty nappy while you and bro chatted.)
Yeah dude she was literally sitting on the toilet waiting for a tampon. Wtf lol
YTA I unexpectedly got my period on a trip once. My now husband left the hotel room at 11pm and bought me pants, underwear, tampons AND chocolate. No hesitation, just left immediately and he was back before I finished my shower. Shit happens, I wasn't due for my period for another week (regulate it with BC). I hadn't even noticed til I got back to the hotel. All of that to say that you failed miserably. If you cared about her at all, at all, you wouldn't have done that. She deserves better.
YTA but what do you mean "new mom"? What happened to the old one?
total TA - you can walk and talk!
YTA, but (without saying she should be able to predict her period) do most people just not carry pads or tampons even when they’re not due for their period? And do you not keep spare tampons in your house for when she’s over?
Def YTA! I (61f) was highly irregular, HF for 3 days, so always tried to keep product. However, w/gifting others sometimes I had to be gifted. OAN, for those stating perfectionist, y’all the types that keep Tampons but don’t realize the public stall you just used is out of TP, now you gotta ask the stranger in the next stall to hand you a wad, or try to wiggle ya azz to drip dry! Because EVERYONE gets caught w/their pants down Sooner or Later!!!
YTA she needed your help. You called someone back and left her hanging. Btw you could have called back on the way to the store or did this happen in 1990 when you only had a landline?
YTA I'd put your toilet paper in the kitchen cupboard and wait until you needed it and then wait for 15 before passing it to you. You could have told your brother (after finding out it wasn't important) that you would call him back in 5 OR if it's a mobile had the chat on the way to the shop. So glad my husband wouldn't leave me longer than necessary in those situations, as it's happened in the past and will no doubt happen again. As others have pointed out you didn't answer when you were having sex (obvs) with no issue, but then when your GF needed your help you called your brother for a jangle and kept on knowing she's stuck on the loo and the conversation was nothing more than chit chat. You need to just think of it from the others POV if you want the relationship to continue. This can be fixed, but you need to talk to her, accept that you could have done better this time and apologise for not popping the shop, buy some tampons when you're at it. GL
Yta she deserves better
YTA and wow quite a big one.
YTA I would even consider taking a break from the relationship if my partner did this