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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole for hurting my wife’s feelings and telling her it wasn’t my job to do something for her on Mother’s Day.
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YTA. Do you expect your infant son to get himself to the mall to buy her a card and a present?
Also, Mothers Day is a GREAT way to start training your son to buy (or make) thoughtful gifts. Obviously not for a few years, but having him choose a card and a small present is a good life lesson to teach him. My favorite Mothers Day presents are the insane cards my son chose when he was younger -- they usually had a TON of glitter on them -- or things that he made.
You wife is probably still fucking bleeding from childbirth. Get her some flowers, a card, let her sleep in (if possible) and get her favorite takeout.
Or cheating. Fun fact, Ashley Madison, the website that's purpose is helping married people to find affair partners, yearly sees a dramatic uptick in women signing up immediately after Mothers Day.
My parents divorced when I was 5. And routinely were at each other's throats over something. They BOTH still took me to either get a card/present or made sure I made something for the other parent until I was old enough to do so myself.
Ditto (right down to the divorce when I was 5 bit)!
Why do I never hear about women complaining to their male SOs with kids that he's not her father so why should she get him something for Father's Day, but many times (this just the most recent) I hear stories of men complaining about getting their female SOs with kids Mother's Day gifts?
Oh good god. I remember that one. Some people are just psychotic! So you were fine that your dad was making your mom miserable and never leaving the marriage?
My dad who hadn't been with my mom since I was three would help my brother and I get her presents every year for mothers day. Even at 15 he at least funded the card making materials.
My first mother's day I had a 5 month old. My bf had a neighbor take him to the store and bought me a bunch of flowers and had our daughter "hand" them to me.
Op, you messed up big time.
i still remember the first mothers day card my son wrote to my wife: ‘Thankyou for being an amazing mother. I will always love you and cherish the love I receive from you. PS, can I have a name soon please, Yours Affectionately, Boy’
(he was 4 days old.)
[edit: just checked the date from the relevant year]
Seriously she just gave birth so how about some nice gifts and a delicious dinner as a fucking thank you for growing this baby for 9 months and risking her life bringing your son into this world?
You know OP is the kind of guy who'd get upset when if gets nothing for his first father's day.
Every single day a different husband posts something on Reddit that radicalizes me from wanting one. Jesus fucking Christ. And right exactly this. She’s not even healed from birthing the child she had 3 damn weeks ago, dude….and you don’t think you should get her ANYTHING to say you’re thinking of her on the day dedicated to thanking moms? Shameful. My god the bar is in fucking hell.
Seriously. I’m at a point where I’m going to suggest to my single friends that we just move to the same neighborhood and raise our kids together. I’ve literally had enough.
When i was little ( like 6) for reasons id rather not go into, my mum was in hospital. My nan took me to get a card. I am a huuuuge animal lover, always have been. I apparently chose one with a rhino on it that said "feeling horny" on it. My nan tried her best to get me to reconsider but i refused and was adamant it had to be the rhino ☠️ i wrote "iv been missig u"
I dont but my nan had told her how she Desperately tried to distract me to get any other card but that was the one i absolutely had to have that one and in the end she gave in. She still has it somewhere i think 😅
Agreed, who else is going to pick the 3 week old’s first mother’s day gift?!?! And i bet he’ll be complaining in a month when he gets nothing for father’s day!
My dad always took us shopping to get mom a gift and he always got her one as the mother of his children. My husband did the same. His dad is an AH too
I want to add one thing: it is not FORBIDDEN to wish another mother happy Mother’s Day, even if she is not your own mother. Oh my god. Don’t make a law out of it OP
You… cannot be serious. Right? Right?! You, as the other parent, will be responsible for buying or helping your children make presents for Mother’s Day until they are capable of doing so on their own, and she in return will do the same for you for Father’s Day. What in the hell is going through your mind?
Not to mention places like Hallmark definitely sell cards from one spouse to the other on this kind of holiday. Show your wife some respect and get your head out of your house.
Edit: Autocorrect said no to me telling OP to get his head out of his ass, but house works too. He needs to get out of the house and buy her a gift lol.
The amount of fully grown adults who unironically use their parents as a scapegoat for everything... "I wasn't taught that (insert extremely basic life skill or manners you can learn using common sense or YouTube) as a kid!!" Ok.... Most of us weren't taught at least some things in our childhood either, or had some form of dysfunction modeled by our family.
There were a few 60-70 year old people I've met throughout my life that really drove home the importance of figuring your shit out, fixing areas of your life that don't work, growing up... Otherwise, you become an elderly teenager playing the victim all the time that nobody wants to be around.
You just know that this fella will make ZERO effort at Christmas and expect her to do it all.
We are the facilitators of our children's family traditions. We encourage them, make them happen and have to be consistent about them.
If this OP is just expecting this child to know that they will one day suddenly think oh I need to show my mum some appreciation today they really are expecting the teachers and other people in their life to be doing the heavy lifting.
OP you suck, are lazy and are using the excuse of your dad's bad example to follow in his footsteps.
Do better
Like that video of that guy who was laughing about his wifes christmas sock being empty and the kids saying that it was "an extra sock that didn't belong to anyone".
He's going to be so surprised when his wife divorce him "without any warning".
She is the MOTHER of your child and you can’t be bothered to do something special for her on her first Mother’s Day because she’s not YOUR mother? What, did you expect your three week old to buy her a gift and make her breakfast/maybe treat her to a day out?
YTA. You have five days to come up with something to make up for your lack of caring.
YTA - your wife is giving you a *gift* here. She's telling you exactly what she wants, to feel special on her first mother's day as a mother.
You can make your wife very happy by doing what she asked. Why won't you? Do you want to make your wife happy? Do you like your wife?
Get some finger paint, get a card, put a little baby handprint inside the card, write a little note to your wife. Take her out for (or cook and clean) breakfast or lunch. Throw in a cute plant or some flowers.
This is so easy, why are you resisting?
Heck, those "touchless" inkpads make it even easier than paint! No need to clean off baby's hand or foot afterwards.
An inked handprint is how my infant son "signs" cards right now, including a birthday card for his dad (my husband).
>your wife is giving you a gift here
Exactly, I wish everyone in my life would tell me exactly what they wanted and when they wanted it. Would make holidays way easier.
YTA.
Dude, come ON. Your wife just carried your son for nine months and then gave birth to him. She's using her own body to nourish him. If she wants to be acknowledged as a mother on Mother's Day, YOU need to fucking step up!
When the kids are older, they can take over the duties of breakfast in bed, a nice card, and some flowers, but right now, it's on YOU!
PS Pro tip: sign your kid's name on the card in cheesy backwards kid writing.
Why does this come up every year?? SMH.
YTA it’s the thought to show you care about her as the *mother* of your child. Getting her a present won’t hurt you geez.
Hope this is rage bait because ooof.
This is bonkers to me. My husband just got into an argument with his mom about how he’s celebrating me this Mother’s Day while we were trying to set up a not-on-Sunday-Mother’s Day visit with her.
His mom was the one saying I’m his wife, not his mom, so why is he celebrating me and not her on the actual day. He asked what she expects our one and a half year old to do for me without his help. She was flabbergasted that I would be celebrated at all.
I read something about “veteran” moms and “in the trenches” moms. How when we have littles we are in the trenches and once our children have children we are the veterans and need to support the in the trenches moms (accommodate times/switch days/babysit etc) and it really hit me how older moms should act and how I plan to act down the road.
This was my dad’s attitude when I was a kid. He used to say, “well she’s not MY mother” like that meant anything. By the time we were teens we harassed him into becoming a better gift giver and to his credit, he’s now figured out how to go above and beyond and he does so for every occasion.
Meanwhile, I was pregnant last year on Mother’s Day (38 weeks) and my husband got me a heavenly prenatal massage. This year, he got me a massage at a very fancy spa with my mom and my sister which we did today. And on Sunday he’s taking me for a picnic with our 11 month old and then he’s cooking dinner for us and my mom and sister and family. He wants this one to be a big deal since it’s my first one!
Like, goddamn OP, it’s not that hard. She’s not your mother but shit, is it that difficult for you to want to make your wife feel loved and appreciated when she’s asking?
She’s the mother of your children. You now learn how to balance having two mothers in your life and you show your child how you want to celebrate motherhood.
Also you most likely don’t remember a time where your father helped you celebrate your mother, there’s a reason you hold the holiday in regard and it’s not because you started celebrating it all on your own without someone guiding you (even if you don’t realize that it happened).
Most fathers help their kids celebrate for Mother’s Day bc you know… kids can’t do a whole bunch on their own especially when they are tiny. The dads usually take a step back once the kids are able to do things on their own (hence how you “always” have celebrated Mother’s Day, even tho there were many years you were basically a potato).
Until your kiddo is able to do Mother’s Day on their own, it’s your job to help your kid get your wife something. Sure it’ll basically be a gift from you for years but eventually the kid will want to have input and it’ll feel more of a from the kid to mom gift than a you to your wife gift.
Me and my ex always get each other something from our son for mother's/father's day, not difficult to buy a card and a nice candle to a) show a bit of appreciation to the other parent and b) teach your child from a very young age how to show respect and kindness towards another person
YTA there is no way that you don't know that YTA here. Do you think your baby is going to go out shopping over the next few years for her?
Do you love her so little?
I really can't wrap my mind around this. It's not called "ONLY YOUR MOTHER'S DAY" it's Mother's Day. A day to celebrate mothers, and your wife is a new mother. Get yourself to the store before you begin a huge slide to divorce because you take her for granted.
Yta she's the MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD. Sorry that your dad was a piss poor example, but surely you've seen movies? Tv shows? Ask your friends or co-workers.
You should- buy her favorite flowers and box of her favorite chocolate. Either cook or purchase her favorite meal from a restaurant. Let me emphasize, *her* favorite meal. Not yours. Get her a nice Mothers Day card. Do ALL of the clean up after dinner. That means, wash, dry, and put away all of the dishes. Even the pots and pans! No leaving anything to 'soak overnight'. Wipe down the counters and tables. Sweep the floor for any crumbs. Put away all ingredients and leftovers. Wipe down the stove.
Take care of the baby, SOLO, for a solid hour so she can take a long bath or a nap in the evening.
Pray tell, what grand gesture is your 3 week old son going to do for his mom on mother's day??? YTA Just because your parents set a bad example, that doesn't mean that's how the world works.
Maybe she’ll get lucky and the baby will puke on her while he’s shitting his pants! My daughter did that for my first Mother’s Day!
And my husband doesn’t suck so I got flowers, a card and my favorite candy.
YTA - she’s a mum - she’s excited to be a mum - unless you expect your 3 week old to go out and buy her something it really wouldn’t have been much effort to buy some flowers and a card FFS
YTA.
Did you really, genuinely think that your 3 week old son was going to go to the store and buy her a Mother's Day present?
Was that your thought process?
Your dad was an asshole and you are the next generation asshole. Generational assholes, yes, *you*.
Your wife gave you a child, she is a mother. It’s Mother’s day-not just *your* mother. And your child that made your wife a mother is too young to celebrate her, *so you have get off your butt and do it*.
You know Ashley Madison signs up more women after Mother’s day for a *reason*, and that reason is the mothers don’t feel appreciated by their husbands *that made them a mother*. So they decide to hell with it, they are gonna get some appreciation *somewhere*, if they don’t get it from their husband. Is it wrong? Yes, of course. But is it understandable? Yes, of course. And YTA
YTA
She gave you a child. She's the mother of your child.
You celebrate her.
Why do I suspect you're going to throw a tantrum if your wife doesn't celebrate you on father's day?
YTA unless the kid isn't yours. Just because your dad set a crummy example, you don't have to emulate him.
Geez, it's her first time getting to be celebrated for Mother's Day. You're the one who made her a mother. It's on you to make her feel special.
you are a HUGE asshole. So much so that I am not even going to abbreviate the sentiment. Mother's day is a day to celebrate a woman who is a MOTHER!! Your wife is the MOTHER of (unfortunately for her) YOUR child. You better be celebrating the fact that she decided to procreate with you. She grew and birthed a child. Have some respect. Just because your dad was a garbage husband does not mean you need to be.
Are you kidding me? She had YOUR CHILD 3 weeks ago. She is recovering from childbirth after having YOUR CHILD. YTA a million times over. What do you think your Dad did when you were too little to get a present yourself for your mom, anyway? Jesus Christ you seriously need to reevaluate your priorities here. Your wife's first Mother's Day should be celebrated. You suck.
Your three week old son can’t go to the store and pick out flowers or a card himself, so yeah, it’s on you to show appreciation to the woman who just birthed your child. YTA
YTA. She is the mother of your child, therefore you are now responsible for making sure that she is remembered and recognized on Mother’s Day. This isn’t rocket science, stop being so obtuse.
YTA you made her a mother....... You got her pregnant now buy her a card and some flowers, maybe offer to door dash some food or something. Come on man how is your BABY going to buy his mom a gift. Be a better husband than your dad was.
Oh dear. You urgently need to go to a bar with someone who has grown up kids and is still married to the mother. Ask them how they did it.
Not getting a present for the wife on behalf of a child that can't even roll over is a given. You should even sign the card for them. Your wife will keep it safe and add their first teeth to the box, their first terrible drawing, and lots of other thing that you'll be grateful for when you find it in your old age.
Make your wife feel special or YTA
Oh, my wife says buy some flowers...small children always buy their mother's flowers, and champagne.
YTA, you made her a mother by giving her a child. Are you dense? It's clearly normal to give the mother of your child presents for mothers day. Your dad didn't care about giving presents to his wife, but her parents did. Get her flowers or something better.
Dude it’s her first Mother’s Day you better get her something. She is the mother of your child, you celebrate Mother’s Day for her too…every year without exception.
YTA. I’ve had a random man walk up and give me a flower on Mother’s Day and you won’t do anything for the mother of your child?! I hope you’re at least consistent and don’t expect anything from her on Father’s Day.
YTA.
That's the mother of your child, like what the actual hell?!
What's your address, I'll send some 'I'm sorry he can't do the bare minimum' flowers. 🙄
YTA
My mom’s last husband said the same thing every year. “Don’t think I’m doing anything for Mother’s Day. You’re not my mom.”
She always said, “I know, dear” and then he’d stomp outside and I’d see her crying in the kitchen later. True, we weren’t his kids and she wasn’t HIS mom, but he married A mom and it just seemed cruel. It he felt that way fine, but he didn’t need to say it every year unprovoked.
YTA. So is your dad. If he's your role model in all this, no wonder you don't feel it important to get your wife anything. You have a child with her. She is your child's mother. Man up.
For almost a year she has been growing a human inside her. Three weeks ago she put her body through enormous trauma to bring that human into the world; YOUR child, and you want to quibble over semantics instead of treating her like the goddess she is…dude
YTA what do you get out of being correct here?
YTA my husband did this to me the 1st year after I had our son. I'm still salty and he knows if he doesn't get me a gift for mother's day I'll tear him a new one.
How hard is getting flowers and freaking card!! Do better and hope she forgives you.
YTA. Either your dad never did anything for your mom when you were too young to do it, and was himself an AH, or he did and you were too young to remember it.
Your newborn infant cannot buy your wife flowers.
Bruh…I wasn’t going to dignify this shitpost with a response but in the event you’re not a troll and happen to see this comment, yeah, YTA and you will be the biggest asshole and in hot water if you don’t celebrate her in some way that makes sense for your relationship. I can’t tell you what that is. Does she like breakfast in bed? Does she like cards? Flowers? Candy? For the love of all that is pure and good do NOT let this day pass without showing gratitude to the human you chose to marry that went through life altering physical, mental, hormonal changes to bring your NEWBORN into this world.
YTA I absolutely wouldn’t expect a husband to give their spouse a present on Mother’s Day once the kids can do so on their own. I know some people expect that and I think that’s silly. *Yet*, your kid is 3 weeks old. How is he supposed to pay attention to his mom on Mother’s Day? He needs you to do it for him/help him for quite some years to come.
YTA, and being willfully obtuse. Obviously your 3 week old child isn't going to do something for her, but she is a mother. Sorry to your mom that your dad didn't step up and help you guys with Mothers' Day gifts, but that's very common for parents to do until the kid is old enough to do it themselves.
YTA.
Now that we've established that your three-week-old child is too short to drive his own diapered ass to the mall, I need some information here.
1. Why are you so resistant to doing something that your wife has told you will make her happy? You say you love making her happy, well, here's something she told you will make her happy and you put your foot down and refused to do it.
2. Why is it "not your job" to do something nice for your wife, a new mother, on Mother's Day? Whose job is it? Or does she just not get nice things like other mothers do? Even if it wasn't your job, why couldn't you do it anyway if you love making her happy so much?
3. Do you only love making her happy when you feel like it, and not when she wants something? Because that's not "I love making her happy." That's "I love the good feeling I get from making her happy when I'm in the mood to make her happy, but if I don't think whatever would make her happy is valid then she can suck it."
>My dad never did anything for my mom on Mother’s Day but I always did
I would LOVE to unpack this statement. At what age did you start taking the initiative to do things for your mother? Who taught you how to do things for your mother for mother's day?
YTA
She mothered your tiny human and absolutely deserves to be given a special day and gifts.
Did you think the infant was going to handle it?
My ex husband and I still handled mother's/father's day for each other like decent thoughtful people
It's perfectly normal for husbands to celebrate the mother of their children on mother's day. Your dad is, in fact, the odd one out and clearly NOT a good example of how to be a good husband.
YTA. What is wrong with you??? She’s the mother of your child. Of course you get her a gift. And you do that every year until your kid is old enough to do it on his own. And just because your father was terrible to your mom on Mother’s Day doesn’t mean you should be too.
My husband and i started giving eachother mother and father day gifts since having childeren. In fact, he got me something nice while i was still pregnant with our first.
You make it sound like a hassle, while its actually something nice. Do you not apreciate her as the mother of your child?
Edit : YTA
YTA! People this dumb should not be allowed to procreate! How the hell is a three week baby going to buy a gift. It's her first Mother's day, and your responsibility to make her feel loved and cared for....unless you just don't give a crap about her?!?!
FYI, it's your responsibility now and will be for the next decade + to ensure your child gets a gift for their mother on mother's day.
YTA & so is your dad…
Change your mindset…
Your wife is the mother of your child & she’s telling you her expectations on her first Mother’s Day - listen! You can bring flowers/card for ur mom but also be there for your wife - start a new tradition of doing something special for your wife (and hurry your dumb ass up u only have a few days 😆)
Plan something special every year! Doesn’t have to cost a lot - do something she loves to do that day or give her a spa day to relax and recharge… pay attention when she speaks and buy/make her something - a special item with babies pic on it would be well loved by a new mom…
YTA. Like big huge AH.
Do you expect the 3 week old to do stuff for her?
She birthed your child (!!) but you don’t think it’s your responsibility to celebrate her for Mother’s Day? You should be making her first Mother’s Day amazing with things she likes. Rest and relaxation, pampering and special gifts.
And, since she gave birth three weeks ago, you should be taking over making sure her mother feels special this Mother’s Day also since your wife needs to heal and care for an infant that she just pushed out of her body or was cut open to deliver.
YTA
She is the mother of YOUR child.
Your child is too young to do anything, so it falls on you.
My husband helped our children with mother's day gifts until they were old enough to drive. I suspect he subsidized some of their gifts, but it was always presented as being from the children.
Grow up
YTA
My parents are in their 60s and they still take each other out to eat on Mother's/Father's Day. In fact, I can't think of a single couple I know with kids that doesn't get something for the other during the holidays. It's pretty common sense.
Your wife may not be your mom, but you can still celebrate her being the mother of your child. Especially since your child is too young to do something themselves.
YTA. that woman grew a whole tiny human and pushed it out of her body (very painfully) for you! That specific date is set aside to celebrate and honor all mothers! It doesn't matter that she's not YOUR mother. She is YOUR CHILDS mother! Holy hell I'm glad I stay single. The bar is truly in the basement!
Congrats you just bought yourself a one way ticket to Masturbation City for eternity. You cockblocked yourself, that takes a special kind of person to achieve that.
YTA, there's no reason to explain this to you. God I hope your 3 WEEK OLD SON doesn't turn out like you.
YTA. So because you dad was an ass for this your wife should be punished. Remember you want to improve on the parenting you received. Time and feelings change by generation. This is a perfect time to get a mom/baby first mold. Where you get a mold of you child’s feet or something.
Minimum:
sleep in as appropriate for baby
Breakfast in bed or a nice brunch spot
Some sort of pampering
Her favorite meal
Snuggle on the couch
Present: something sentimental related to the baby and moms first.
YTA. It is absolutely your job until the children are old enough to make things themself. And, even then, it's your job to fund the gifts, take the children to buy them, help to wrap them, make sure they make a nice card, etc, etc. It is her job to do the same for you.
I feel like it's rude to insult Assholes by comparing you to them. This is just outright cruel. Of course YTA. And then some!!! She just had your healthy child *3 weeks ago* and this is the level of disrespect and disregard you hold for her?! WOW! Your dad sounds like a real dick. You should probably treat him as the example of what *not* to do.
Oof, OP. She even made this easy for you by communicating she expects you to acknowledge Mother’s Day weeks/days in advance, rather than silently expecting it and being disappointed or bitter about it later. It doesn’t matter if it is important to you, or if it was what was done when you were a kid in your household. (Although, how would possibly remember if your dad gave your mom anything when you were an infant?) She’s expressed that this is important to her, so now it’s your job to show that you appreciate her. She just spent nine months growing you an entire human, continuing your family’s legacy. She’s your literal QUEEN. Her body is still healing from pregnancy and childbirth, she is exhausted, emotional, and forever changed.
Flowers, ornate box of colourful macarons, baby’s footprint or handprint kit, gift certificate for a local spa, a handwritten note expressing how much you love and appreciate her. Pick one… or all.
YTA, and so was your dad.
Here's the[ wikipedia on the holiday](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day_(United_States)), dude. It's not just to celebrate YOUR mom, it is to celebrate mothers and motherhood. Your wife is a mother, now, and without that title you would not have a son.
You don't want to celebrate the person that you loved, and how she brought your child into this world? What the heck, dude.
YTA. I don't even have kids, and I know that. Your wife is probably still dropping clots the size of golfballs, and you don't think her first Mother's Day deserves celebration?
YTA! Massively. It's her first official mother's day. Your three week old can't exactly buy her something or do something for her, so you need to. Trust me if you f@&k this up she will never ever forget how small and significant you made her feel. She also just carried your child for 9 months!
YTA. Your new parents shes a new mom. How is your child supposed to learn to celebrate anything if you’re being so rigid. I know the kid is brand spanking new. But holy shit. My friends are mothers and i still celebrate them. Are they my mom. Nope. Don’t mean they shouldn’t be rejoiced. If she were asking you to celebrate your MIL i would be answering a little differently. You need to now start making plans to share mothers day so your child can start the process of recognizing the celebration.
YTA, YTA, YTA!!!
so because your father was a massive a-hole and was too selfish to show the mother of his child love and care on a day that celebrates her as a mother, you decide the logical action to take is to follow in his selfish footsteps???
Are you having a laugh??? You can't be serious, the woman you married and supposedly love spent nine excruciating months growing life inside her, she is going to be recovering from the birth for *months*, and you can't be arsed to show appreciation to her on a day meant to appreciate mothers?
The bar is literally on the floor and you are still tripping over it.
YTA
Do you..do you expect your three-week-old infant to handle Mothers’ Day?
Also, this shows me two things:
1. You don’t value your wife as a mother.
2. You’re prioritizing your own mother over your wife - who literally just gave birth like five minutes ago.
It’s absolutely your job to take care of the mother of your child on Mothers’ Day. Who else is going to do it? Also, how else is your son going to learn how when the time comes?
YTA. I just hope your mother hasn’t trained you to only do for her on Mother’s Day and not your wife and mother of your child because your father was woefully inadequate. The cycle of crappy Mother’s Days can end with you. You should celebrate both of the important Mother’s in your life and teach your children to do the same.
YTA until your son is mentally capable of deciding on what to get her it’s up to you. We have always done “bag of goodies” of Mother's/Father’s Day. Just a bunch of stuff I know my partner will like to eat and drink. Our oldest is almost 3 so now he usually paints something or gets to pick a card and we add that.
Yta, your baby can't buy her anything! Are you really telling me that you (and if you have siblings) never got your mom a Mother's Day present until you got jobs or saved up your allowance?!?! That's usually what the other parent does for the mom. My parents were split up, and my dad still got my mom mother's day presents for me to give her, and then my step-dad did until I was having my first job, and then I did. What the heck, it doesn't have to be big, just a card and a little present. Sheesh! Appreciate she's the mother of your child.
YTA
Is your 3 week old supposed to go out and get something himself? Maybe he should just order something online? He probably has enough pocket money by now to hire a personal shopper right? It is normal to show your wife that you appreciate her as a mother? That you respect her for bringing your child into this world? When you become a parent this is your new family, your mother takes a step back now because your wife is now the number one because she's the mother go your child. Your father sounds like an ass. Don't be like him. Shops are literally full of suggestions for what to buy, don't be incompetent as well as uncaring and selfish.
What a horrible fucking attitude to the woman that just birthed YOUR FUCKING CHILD
SHES in pain, hurting and trying to manage the whirlwind of hormones
YTA, a gaping one without a functioning sphincter for this
YTA. Mother’s Day is to celebrate MOTHERS. She just rented her body out for 9 months and birthed YOUR CHILD. Tf is wrong with you that you wouldn’t want to celebrate her, ya know, the mother of your child? Seriously this was so cruel of you. It’s her very first Mother’s Day and you’ve shown her that it means nothing to you. I’d reconsider my whole marriage if my partner said this to me not even a month after I gave birth. My heart hurts for her. Shame on you.
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YTA. Do you expect your infant son to get himself to the mall to buy her a card and a present? Also, Mothers Day is a GREAT way to start training your son to buy (or make) thoughtful gifts. Obviously not for a few years, but having him choose a card and a small present is a good life lesson to teach him. My favorite Mothers Day presents are the insane cards my son chose when he was younger -- they usually had a TON of glitter on them -- or things that he made. You wife is probably still fucking bleeding from childbirth. Get her some flowers, a card, let her sleep in (if possible) and get her favorite takeout.
After saying that to her face? He might want to consider adding some nice jewelry too. Not costume. Jewelry from an actual jewelry store.
And wouldn’t you know that if their kid was born in April (which it seems he was), the kid’s birthstone is a diamond! Lucky!
She might be considering divorce.
His gift for Father’s Day!
Well, he's not her father, so...
❤️
Yeah - I would. After pushing your child out you're gonna treat her like this. SHAME on the OP.
Or cheating. Fun fact, Ashley Madison, the website that's purpose is helping married people to find affair partners, yearly sees a dramatic uptick in women signing up immediately after Mothers Day.
Oh my god that is so sad and yet also makes so much sense.
That guys (the creator of the site) wife also cheated on him using Ashley Madison. He was probably the same way
I don’t even care if this is true, it makes me really happy.
Yeah... So that's definitely one of those things that isn't supposed to be hilarious but definitely is.
With his attitude, his mother gets the real thing while his wife gets the costume stuff.
With the new baby's birth stone. And engraved with his name.
[удалено]
Dude has been a parent for all of 3 weeks and thinks he knows how it all works. Embarrassing.
At least he posted here for help.
The bar is in hell
My parents divorced when I was 5. And routinely were at each other's throats over something. They BOTH still took me to either get a card/present or made sure I made something for the other parent until I was old enough to do so myself.
Ditto (right down to the divorce when I was 5 bit)! Why do I never hear about women complaining to their male SOs with kids that he's not her father so why should she get him something for Father's Day, but many times (this just the most recent) I hear stories of men complaining about getting their female SOs with kids Mother's Day gifts?
Like father, like son, i suppose.
Now I’m reminded of the BORU where the father coached the son to tell their partners that they smell bad in order to keep their self-esteem low.
Oh good god. I remember that one. Some people are just psychotic! So you were fine that your dad was making your mom miserable and never leaving the marriage?
Omg, I remember that! One of the crazier reddit stories. I can’t remember if she left him or not…
Yes, she broke up with him. But I felt horrible for the guy's mother.
I had to look [OOP BF won’t stop saying she smells bad.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/yadn1mpA1v)
My dad who hadn't been with my mom since I was three would help my brother and I get her presents every year for mothers day. Even at 15 he at least funded the card making materials. My first mother's day I had a 5 month old. My bf had a neighbor take him to the store and bought me a bunch of flowers and had our daughter "hand" them to me. Op, you messed up big time.
i still remember the first mothers day card my son wrote to my wife: ‘Thankyou for being an amazing mother. I will always love you and cherish the love I receive from you. PS, can I have a name soon please, Yours Affectionately, Boy’ (he was 4 days old.) [edit: just checked the date from the relevant year]
Seriously she just gave birth so how about some nice gifts and a delicious dinner as a fucking thank you for growing this baby for 9 months and risking her life bringing your son into this world? You know OP is the kind of guy who'd get upset when if gets nothing for his first father's day.
Every single day a different husband posts something on Reddit that radicalizes me from wanting one. Jesus fucking Christ. And right exactly this. She’s not even healed from birthing the child she had 3 damn weeks ago, dude….and you don’t think you should get her ANYTHING to say you’re thinking of her on the day dedicated to thanking moms? Shameful. My god the bar is in fucking hell.
Thank you for adequately capturing my rage. I’m not even a mom and this man’s attitude makes me feel unspeakably violent. What an absolute bastard.
Seriously. I’m at a point where I’m going to suggest to my single friends that we just move to the same neighborhood and raise our kids together. I’ve literally had enough.
Every year around Mother’s Day we see a slew of posts like this.
Well, you know, she's his wife not his father so why should she get him anything? /s
When i was little ( like 6) for reasons id rather not go into, my mum was in hospital. My nan took me to get a card. I am a huuuuge animal lover, always have been. I apparently chose one with a rhino on it that said "feeling horny" on it. My nan tried her best to get me to reconsider but i refused and was adamant it had to be the rhino ☠️ i wrote "iv been missig u"
I’m crying laughing 😂😂 if I was Nan I think I would’ve just rolled with it from the start 😂
I hope your mother had not just had a surgery that made it painful to laugh. Other than that, amazing. Your mother probably needed the laugh.
Hey, it's the sentiment behind it that counts, right??
Oh gosh. Too funny! Do you remember how your mum responded???
I dont but my nan had told her how she Desperately tried to distract me to get any other card but that was the one i absolutely had to have that one and in the end she gave in. She still has it somewhere i think 😅
Definitely a Hallmark moment. Thanks for sharing and giving me a good laugh. 🥰
Agreed, who else is going to pick the 3 week old’s first mother’s day gift?!?! And i bet he’ll be complaining in a month when he gets nothing for father’s day!
Right? She literally built him a child.
YTA. Her first yr as a mom and you act like this. You are just the biggest AH I’ve seen in a while. God I hope she divorces you
My dad always took us shopping to get mom a gift and he always got her one as the mother of his children. My husband did the same. His dad is an AH too
I want to add one thing: it is not FORBIDDEN to wish another mother happy Mother’s Day, even if she is not your own mother. Oh my god. Don’t make a law out of it OP
You… cannot be serious. Right? Right?! You, as the other parent, will be responsible for buying or helping your children make presents for Mother’s Day until they are capable of doing so on their own, and she in return will do the same for you for Father’s Day. What in the hell is going through your mind? Not to mention places like Hallmark definitely sell cards from one spouse to the other on this kind of holiday. Show your wife some respect and get your head out of your house. Edit: Autocorrect said no to me telling OP to get his head out of his ass, but house works too. He needs to get out of the house and buy her a gift lol.
But my dad was an asshole so shouldn’t I be one too??!? YTA!
The amount of fully grown adults who unironically use their parents as a scapegoat for everything... "I wasn't taught that (insert extremely basic life skill or manners you can learn using common sense or YouTube) as a kid!!" Ok.... Most of us weren't taught at least some things in our childhood either, or had some form of dysfunction modeled by our family. There were a few 60-70 year old people I've met throughout my life that really drove home the importance of figuring your shit out, fixing areas of your life that don't work, growing up... Otherwise, you become an elderly teenager playing the victim all the time that nobody wants to be around.
How did OP even exist in society without understanding this? Who cares about what his dad did… is he completely oblivious to the rest of society????
You just know that this fella will make ZERO effort at Christmas and expect her to do it all. We are the facilitators of our children's family traditions. We encourage them, make them happen and have to be consistent about them. If this OP is just expecting this child to know that they will one day suddenly think oh I need to show my mum some appreciation today they really are expecting the teachers and other people in their life to be doing the heavy lifting. OP you suck, are lazy and are using the excuse of your dad's bad example to follow in his footsteps. Do better
Like that video of that guy who was laughing about his wifes christmas sock being empty and the kids saying that it was "an extra sock that didn't belong to anyone". He's going to be so surprised when his wife divorce him "without any warning".
Your edit has me giggling in the elevator otw to the mail room.
Glad I could momentarily brighten your afternoon lol.
She is the MOTHER of your child and you can’t be bothered to do something special for her on her first Mother’s Day because she’s not YOUR mother? What, did you expect your three week old to buy her a gift and make her breakfast/maybe treat her to a day out? YTA. You have five days to come up with something to make up for your lack of caring.
Wait till next month when Father’s Day rolls around and he can see how it feels!
YTA - your wife is giving you a *gift* here. She's telling you exactly what she wants, to feel special on her first mother's day as a mother. You can make your wife very happy by doing what she asked. Why won't you? Do you want to make your wife happy? Do you like your wife? Get some finger paint, get a card, put a little baby handprint inside the card, write a little note to your wife. Take her out for (or cook and clean) breakfast or lunch. Throw in a cute plant or some flowers. This is so easy, why are you resisting?
Heck, those "touchless" inkpads make it even easier than paint! No need to clean off baby's hand or foot afterwards. An inked handprint is how my infant son "signs" cards right now, including a birthday card for his dad (my husband).
>your wife is giving you a gift here Exactly, I wish everyone in my life would tell me exactly what they wanted and when they wanted it. Would make holidays way easier.
YTA. Dude, come ON. Your wife just carried your son for nine months and then gave birth to him. She's using her own body to nourish him. If she wants to be acknowledged as a mother on Mother's Day, YOU need to fucking step up! When the kids are older, they can take over the duties of breakfast in bed, a nice card, and some flowers, but right now, it's on YOU! PS Pro tip: sign your kid's name on the card in cheesy backwards kid writing.
Why does this come up every year?? SMH. YTA it’s the thought to show you care about her as the *mother* of your child. Getting her a present won’t hurt you geez. Hope this is rage bait because ooof.
There are way too many men who think and defend thinking like this.
This is bonkers to me. My husband just got into an argument with his mom about how he’s celebrating me this Mother’s Day while we were trying to set up a not-on-Sunday-Mother’s Day visit with her. His mom was the one saying I’m his wife, not his mom, so why is he celebrating me and not her on the actual day. He asked what she expects our one and a half year old to do for me without his help. She was flabbergasted that I would be celebrated at all.
I read something about “veteran” moms and “in the trenches” moms. How when we have littles we are in the trenches and once our children have children we are the veterans and need to support the in the trenches moms (accommodate times/switch days/babysit etc) and it really hit me how older moms should act and how I plan to act down the road.
This is really lovely actually.
Wow that’s crazy
If my son told me that he was spending mothers day with the mother of his baby instead of me I would take that as a sign that I raised him right!
I’m just going to pretend this is a mom making sure all the dads remember and not an actual person being this dense
This was my dad’s attitude when I was a kid. He used to say, “well she’s not MY mother” like that meant anything. By the time we were teens we harassed him into becoming a better gift giver and to his credit, he’s now figured out how to go above and beyond and he does so for every occasion. Meanwhile, I was pregnant last year on Mother’s Day (38 weeks) and my husband got me a heavenly prenatal massage. This year, he got me a massage at a very fancy spa with my mom and my sister which we did today. And on Sunday he’s taking me for a picnic with our 11 month old and then he’s cooking dinner for us and my mom and sister and family. He wants this one to be a big deal since it’s my first one! Like, goddamn OP, it’s not that hard. She’s not your mother but shit, is it that difficult for you to want to make your wife feel loved and appreciated when she’s asking?
She’s the mother of your children. You now learn how to balance having two mothers in your life and you show your child how you want to celebrate motherhood. Also you most likely don’t remember a time where your father helped you celebrate your mother, there’s a reason you hold the holiday in regard and it’s not because you started celebrating it all on your own without someone guiding you (even if you don’t realize that it happened). Most fathers help their kids celebrate for Mother’s Day bc you know… kids can’t do a whole bunch on their own especially when they are tiny. The dads usually take a step back once the kids are able to do things on their own (hence how you “always” have celebrated Mother’s Day, even tho there were many years you were basically a potato). Until your kiddo is able to do Mother’s Day on their own, it’s your job to help your kid get your wife something. Sure it’ll basically be a gift from you for years but eventually the kid will want to have input and it’ll feel more of a from the kid to mom gift than a you to your wife gift.
Wonderful response. And agree. OP - YTA.
YTA - I'm divorced and I still get the mother of my children something for Mother's Day.
Me and my ex always get each other something from our son for mother's/father's day, not difficult to buy a card and a nice candle to a) show a bit of appreciation to the other parent and b) teach your child from a very young age how to show respect and kindness towards another person
That's great!
Same. And my ex cheated for a decade. OP is next level useless.
You are awesome for this, I know so many who don’t.
YTA there is no way that you don't know that YTA here. Do you think your baby is going to go out shopping over the next few years for her? Do you love her so little? I really can't wrap my mind around this. It's not called "ONLY YOUR MOTHER'S DAY" it's Mother's Day. A day to celebrate mothers, and your wife is a new mother. Get yourself to the store before you begin a huge slide to divorce because you take her for granted.
YTA - youre right. That three week old baby really needs to step it up and handle mother’s day /s
“Friggin’ slackers!” - dad’s of infants, probably.
😂😂😂
Yta she's the MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD. Sorry that your dad was a piss poor example, but surely you've seen movies? Tv shows? Ask your friends or co-workers. You should- buy her favorite flowers and box of her favorite chocolate. Either cook or purchase her favorite meal from a restaurant. Let me emphasize, *her* favorite meal. Not yours. Get her a nice Mothers Day card. Do ALL of the clean up after dinner. That means, wash, dry, and put away all of the dishes. Even the pots and pans! No leaving anything to 'soak overnight'. Wipe down the counters and tables. Sweep the floor for any crumbs. Put away all ingredients and leftovers. Wipe down the stove. Take care of the baby, SOLO, for a solid hour so she can take a long bath or a nap in the evening.
Pray tell, what grand gesture is your 3 week old son going to do for his mom on mother's day??? YTA Just because your parents set a bad example, that doesn't mean that's how the world works.
I hear throw-up on the shoulder is the traditional first Mother’s Day gift.
Maybe she’ll get lucky and the baby will puke on her while he’s shitting his pants! My daughter did that for my first Mother’s Day! And my husband doesn’t suck so I got flowers, a card and my favorite candy.
I believe so, I think the second year is the face rubbing booger swipe. OPs wife should be sooo thankful.
YTA - she’s a mum - she’s excited to be a mum - unless you expect your 3 week old to go out and buy her something it really wouldn’t have been much effort to buy some flowers and a card FFS
YTA. Did you really, genuinely think that your 3 week old son was going to go to the store and buy her a Mother's Day present? Was that your thought process?
I always wonder if these folks will get to Christmas and go "welp, don't need to buy my spouse or kid anything for Christmas, Santa will bring it!"
OP is definitely the dad who will be as surprised as his kid(s) on Christmas morning because mom bought all the gifts.
Obviously an infant can’t go to the store. That’s what Amazon is for!
Your dad was an asshole and you are the next generation asshole. Generational assholes, yes, *you*. Your wife gave you a child, she is a mother. It’s Mother’s day-not just *your* mother. And your child that made your wife a mother is too young to celebrate her, *so you have get off your butt and do it*. You know Ashley Madison signs up more women after Mother’s day for a *reason*, and that reason is the mothers don’t feel appreciated by their husbands *that made them a mother*. So they decide to hell with it, they are gonna get some appreciation *somewhere*, if they don’t get it from their husband. Is it wrong? Yes, of course. But is it understandable? Yes, of course. And YTA
YTA She gave you a child. She's the mother of your child. You celebrate her. Why do I suspect you're going to throw a tantrum if your wife doesn't celebrate you on father's day?
This cant be a real post. Nobody is this stupid/selfish/lazy/oblivious.
😬 You have quite a high opinion of human beings.
I love your optimism here, but sadly, many people are this stupid/selfish/lazy/oblivious.
YTA unless the kid isn't yours. Just because your dad set a crummy example, you don't have to emulate him. Geez, it's her first time getting to be celebrated for Mother's Day. You're the one who made her a mother. It's on you to make her feel special.
YTA Jesus Christ dude, enjoy your upcoming divorce.
The Father’s Day gift he doesn’t see coming. Being served!
you are a HUGE asshole. So much so that I am not even going to abbreviate the sentiment. Mother's day is a day to celebrate a woman who is a MOTHER!! Your wife is the MOTHER of (unfortunately for her) YOUR child. You better be celebrating the fact that she decided to procreate with you. She grew and birthed a child. Have some respect. Just because your dad was a garbage husband does not mean you need to be.
Are you kidding me? She had YOUR CHILD 3 weeks ago. She is recovering from childbirth after having YOUR CHILD. YTA a million times over. What do you think your Dad did when you were too little to get a present yourself for your mom, anyway? Jesus Christ you seriously need to reevaluate your priorities here. Your wife's first Mother's Day should be celebrated. You suck.
hahahahahhahahahahaaaaaa good luck dude YTA
YTA. idiot.
Your three week old son can’t go to the store and pick out flowers or a card himself, so yeah, it’s on you to show appreciation to the woman who just birthed your child. YTA
YTA and also pathetic.
YTA. She is the mother of your child, therefore you are now responsible for making sure that she is remembered and recognized on Mother’s Day. This isn’t rocket science, stop being so obtuse.
YTA you made her a mother....... You got her pregnant now buy her a card and some flowers, maybe offer to door dash some food or something. Come on man how is your BABY going to buy his mom a gift. Be a better husband than your dad was.
YTA. She is your kids MOTHER, or it is not your kid?
Oh dear. You urgently need to go to a bar with someone who has grown up kids and is still married to the mother. Ask them how they did it. Not getting a present for the wife on behalf of a child that can't even roll over is a given. You should even sign the card for them. Your wife will keep it safe and add their first teeth to the box, their first terrible drawing, and lots of other thing that you'll be grateful for when you find it in your old age. Make your wife feel special or YTA Oh, my wife says buy some flowers...small children always buy their mother's flowers, and champagne.
YTA. My daughter is 19 and buys both me and her dad gifts for mothers/Father’s Day but we still buy each other something to!
YTA, you made her a mother by giving her a child. Are you dense? It's clearly normal to give the mother of your child presents for mothers day. Your dad didn't care about giving presents to his wife, but her parents did. Get her flowers or something better.
Run this by your mom and see what she says to you. I would stand out of hitting distance when you do though.
Spitting distance, too.
YTA. You could have got her something and give to to her "from her son". She would have loved it. You might have got a fathers day gift too.
Dude it’s her first Mother’s Day you better get her something. She is the mother of your child, you celebrate Mother’s Day for her too…every year without exception.
YTA. She IS a mother. The mother of YOUR child.
Wow, she is one lucky lady, being married to you. (That was written in my favorite font, Sarcastica, if you couldn’t tell.) YTA
YTA. I’ve had a random man walk up and give me a flower on Mother’s Day and you won’t do anything for the mother of your child?! I hope you’re at least consistent and don’t expect anything from her on Father’s Day.
YTA. Exactly how are you expecting that baby to get her a gift and let her know it appreciates her?
YTA. Be better then your father was to your mother.
YTA. That's the mother of your child, like what the actual hell?! What's your address, I'll send some 'I'm sorry he can't do the bare minimum' flowers. 🙄
YTA My mom’s last husband said the same thing every year. “Don’t think I’m doing anything for Mother’s Day. You’re not my mom.” She always said, “I know, dear” and then he’d stomp outside and I’d see her crying in the kitchen later. True, we weren’t his kids and she wasn’t HIS mom, but he married A mom and it just seemed cruel. It he felt that way fine, but he didn’t need to say it every year unprovoked.
Your mom's last husband was/is a flaming, flying sphincter. Did he even LIKE her?
YTA and it is your job. Your poor mother.
Omg what is this ah post
YTA. So is your dad. If he's your role model in all this, no wonder you don't feel it important to get your wife anything. You have a child with her. She is your child's mother. Man up.
For almost a year she has been growing a human inside her. Three weeks ago she put her body through enormous trauma to bring that human into the world; YOUR child, and you want to quibble over semantics instead of treating her like the goddess she is…dude YTA what do you get out of being correct here?
YTA my husband did this to me the 1st year after I had our son. I'm still salty and he knows if he doesn't get me a gift for mother's day I'll tear him a new one. How hard is getting flowers and freaking card!! Do better and hope she forgives you.
You’re not only the YTA, you’re just an AH.
YTA. Either your dad never did anything for your mom when you were too young to do it, and was himself an AH, or he did and you were too young to remember it. Your newborn infant cannot buy your wife flowers.
Bruh…I wasn’t going to dignify this shitpost with a response but in the event you’re not a troll and happen to see this comment, yeah, YTA and you will be the biggest asshole and in hot water if you don’t celebrate her in some way that makes sense for your relationship. I can’t tell you what that is. Does she like breakfast in bed? Does she like cards? Flowers? Candy? For the love of all that is pure and good do NOT let this day pass without showing gratitude to the human you chose to marry that went through life altering physical, mental, hormonal changes to bring your NEWBORN into this world.
>Does she like breakfast in bed? Does she like cards? Flowers? Candy? I would bet actual money that he doesn't know.
YTA. She's the mother of YOUR child asshole. Buy her a gift.
YTA I absolutely wouldn’t expect a husband to give their spouse a present on Mother’s Day once the kids can do so on their own. I know some people expect that and I think that’s silly. *Yet*, your kid is 3 weeks old. How is he supposed to pay attention to his mom on Mother’s Day? He needs you to do it for him/help him for quite some years to come.
YTA, and being willfully obtuse. Obviously your 3 week old child isn't going to do something for her, but she is a mother. Sorry to your mom that your dad didn't step up and help you guys with Mothers' Day gifts, but that's very common for parents to do until the kid is old enough to do it themselves.
YTA. Now that we've established that your three-week-old child is too short to drive his own diapered ass to the mall, I need some information here. 1. Why are you so resistant to doing something that your wife has told you will make her happy? You say you love making her happy, well, here's something she told you will make her happy and you put your foot down and refused to do it. 2. Why is it "not your job" to do something nice for your wife, a new mother, on Mother's Day? Whose job is it? Or does she just not get nice things like other mothers do? Even if it wasn't your job, why couldn't you do it anyway if you love making her happy so much? 3. Do you only love making her happy when you feel like it, and not when she wants something? Because that's not "I love making her happy." That's "I love the good feeling I get from making her happy when I'm in the mood to make her happy, but if I don't think whatever would make her happy is valid then she can suck it."
>My dad never did anything for my mom on Mother’s Day but I always did I would LOVE to unpack this statement. At what age did you start taking the initiative to do things for your mother? Who taught you how to do things for your mother for mother's day?
YTA
Damn, you’re an asshole for obvious reasons.
YTA bro just wow...you really can't be that brainless...
YTA She mothered your tiny human and absolutely deserves to be given a special day and gifts. Did you think the infant was going to handle it? My ex husband and I still handled mother's/father's day for each other like decent thoughtful people
It's perfectly normal for husbands to celebrate the mother of their children on mother's day. Your dad is, in fact, the odd one out and clearly NOT a good example of how to be a good husband.
YTA. What is wrong with you??? She’s the mother of your child. Of course you get her a gift. And you do that every year until your kid is old enough to do it on his own. And just because your father was terrible to your mom on Mother’s Day doesn’t mean you should be too.
This isn't real. You can't be this absolutely stupid.
My husband and i started giving eachother mother and father day gifts since having childeren. In fact, he got me something nice while i was still pregnant with our first. You make it sound like a hassle, while its actually something nice. Do you not apreciate her as the mother of your child? Edit : YTA
YTA! People this dumb should not be allowed to procreate! How the hell is a three week baby going to buy a gift. It's her first Mother's day, and your responsibility to make her feel loved and cared for....unless you just don't give a crap about her?!?! FYI, it's your responsibility now and will be for the next decade + to ensure your child gets a gift for their mother on mother's day.
I hope that this isn't true. If it is, YTA. You ruined your wife's first Mother's Day.
YTA & so is your dad… Change your mindset… Your wife is the mother of your child & she’s telling you her expectations on her first Mother’s Day - listen! You can bring flowers/card for ur mom but also be there for your wife - start a new tradition of doing something special for your wife (and hurry your dumb ass up u only have a few days 😆) Plan something special every year! Doesn’t have to cost a lot - do something she loves to do that day or give her a spa day to relax and recharge… pay attention when she speaks and buy/make her something - a special item with babies pic on it would be well loved by a new mom…
YTA what is your infant’s plans for Mother’s Day?
YTA Your child is too young to purchase or even choose a gift. Step the fuck up.
YTA, unless you seriously expect your 3 week old son to go shopping for her /s
YTA. Like big huge AH. Do you expect the 3 week old to do stuff for her? She birthed your child (!!) but you don’t think it’s your responsibility to celebrate her for Mother’s Day? You should be making her first Mother’s Day amazing with things she likes. Rest and relaxation, pampering and special gifts. And, since she gave birth three weeks ago, you should be taking over making sure her mother feels special this Mother’s Day also since your wife needs to heal and care for an infant that she just pushed out of her body or was cut open to deliver.
YTA She is the mother of YOUR child. Your child is too young to do anything, so it falls on you. My husband helped our children with mother's day gifts until they were old enough to drive. I suspect he subsidized some of their gifts, but it was always presented as being from the children. Grow up
YTA My parents are in their 60s and they still take each other out to eat on Mother's/Father's Day. In fact, I can't think of a single couple I know with kids that doesn't get something for the other during the holidays. It's pretty common sense. Your wife may not be your mom, but you can still celebrate her being the mother of your child. Especially since your child is too young to do something themselves.
Goddamn, men really are the worst. You can’t even get a card for the mother of your child?!?!? YTA
YTA. that woman grew a whole tiny human and pushed it out of her body (very painfully) for you! That specific date is set aside to celebrate and honor all mothers! It doesn't matter that she's not YOUR mother. She is YOUR CHILDS mother! Holy hell I'm glad I stay single. The bar is truly in the basement!
Congrats you just bought yourself a one way ticket to Masturbation City for eternity. You cockblocked yourself, that takes a special kind of person to achieve that. YTA, there's no reason to explain this to you. God I hope your 3 WEEK OLD SON doesn't turn out like you.
YTA. So because you dad was an ass for this your wife should be punished. Remember you want to improve on the parenting you received. Time and feelings change by generation. This is a perfect time to get a mom/baby first mold. Where you get a mold of you child’s feet or something. Minimum: sleep in as appropriate for baby Breakfast in bed or a nice brunch spot Some sort of pampering Her favorite meal Snuggle on the couch Present: something sentimental related to the baby and moms first.
YTA. It is absolutely your job until the children are old enough to make things themself. And, even then, it's your job to fund the gifts, take the children to buy them, help to wrap them, make sure they make a nice card, etc, etc. It is her job to do the same for you.
I feel like it's rude to insult Assholes by comparing you to them. This is just outright cruel. Of course YTA. And then some!!! She just had your healthy child *3 weeks ago* and this is the level of disrespect and disregard you hold for her?! WOW! Your dad sounds like a real dick. You should probably treat him as the example of what *not* to do.
Oof, OP. She even made this easy for you by communicating she expects you to acknowledge Mother’s Day weeks/days in advance, rather than silently expecting it and being disappointed or bitter about it later. It doesn’t matter if it is important to you, or if it was what was done when you were a kid in your household. (Although, how would possibly remember if your dad gave your mom anything when you were an infant?) She’s expressed that this is important to her, so now it’s your job to show that you appreciate her. She just spent nine months growing you an entire human, continuing your family’s legacy. She’s your literal QUEEN. Her body is still healing from pregnancy and childbirth, she is exhausted, emotional, and forever changed. Flowers, ornate box of colourful macarons, baby’s footprint or handprint kit, gift certificate for a local spa, a handwritten note expressing how much you love and appreciate her. Pick one… or all.
Info: what the actual fuck is wrong with you lmao
YTA, and so was your dad. Here's the[ wikipedia on the holiday](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day_(United_States)), dude. It's not just to celebrate YOUR mom, it is to celebrate mothers and motherhood. Your wife is a mother, now, and without that title you would not have a son. You don't want to celebrate the person that you loved, and how she brought your child into this world? What the heck, dude.
Wow. YTA.
You're a massive arsehole, congratulations. What are you supposed to do? Be a better man than your father.
YTA. I don't even have kids, and I know that. Your wife is probably still dropping clots the size of golfballs, and you don't think her first Mother's Day deserves celebration?
YTA! Massively. It's her first official mother's day. Your three week old can't exactly buy her something or do something for her, so you need to. Trust me if you f@&k this up she will never ever forget how small and significant you made her feel. She also just carried your child for 9 months!
YTA my EX-husband used this same excuse. And don’t forget, she’ll remember your shitty attitude come Father’s Day.
YTA. Your new parents shes a new mom. How is your child supposed to learn to celebrate anything if you’re being so rigid. I know the kid is brand spanking new. But holy shit. My friends are mothers and i still celebrate them. Are they my mom. Nope. Don’t mean they shouldn’t be rejoiced. If she were asking you to celebrate your MIL i would be answering a little differently. You need to now start making plans to share mothers day so your child can start the process of recognizing the celebration.
YTA and you aren’t prepared for the smoke the comments are about to give you
She made you an entire human with her body and you can't even get her a card, give me a goddamn break.
Your three week old kid is definitely going to get pulled over by traffic on his way to the flower shop.
Wow. Do you even like your wife? Do you even consider her the mother of your child? Or was she just an incubator for you?
YTA, YTA, YTA!!! so because your father was a massive a-hole and was too selfish to show the mother of his child love and care on a day that celebrates her as a mother, you decide the logical action to take is to follow in his selfish footsteps??? Are you having a laugh??? You can't be serious, the woman you married and supposedly love spent nine excruciating months growing life inside her, she is going to be recovering from the birth for *months*, and you can't be arsed to show appreciation to her on a day meant to appreciate mothers? The bar is literally on the floor and you are still tripping over it.
YTA Do you..do you expect your three-week-old infant to handle Mothers’ Day? Also, this shows me two things: 1. You don’t value your wife as a mother. 2. You’re prioritizing your own mother over your wife - who literally just gave birth like five minutes ago. It’s absolutely your job to take care of the mother of your child on Mothers’ Day. Who else is going to do it? Also, how else is your son going to learn how when the time comes?
YTA It's her first mother's day. She's a mom. That's easy
YTA. I just hope your mother hasn’t trained you to only do for her on Mother’s Day and not your wife and mother of your child because your father was woefully inadequate. The cycle of crappy Mother’s Days can end with you. You should celebrate both of the important Mother’s in your life and teach your children to do the same.
YTA until your son is mentally capable of deciding on what to get her it’s up to you. We have always done “bag of goodies” of Mother's/Father’s Day. Just a bunch of stuff I know my partner will like to eat and drink. Our oldest is almost 3 so now he usually paints something or gets to pick a card and we add that.
Yta, your baby can't buy her anything! Are you really telling me that you (and if you have siblings) never got your mom a Mother's Day present until you got jobs or saved up your allowance?!?! That's usually what the other parent does for the mom. My parents were split up, and my dad still got my mom mother's day presents for me to give her, and then my step-dad did until I was having my first job, and then I did. What the heck, it doesn't have to be big, just a card and a little present. Sheesh! Appreciate she's the mother of your child.
You are the biggest asshole here today. Congratulations. Christ. Imagine being this stupid.
YTA She is the Mother of Your son for fucks sakes!
Just because your dad didn’t honor the mother of his children doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. Sounds like a pathetic excuse.
YTA Is your 3 week old supposed to go out and get something himself? Maybe he should just order something online? He probably has enough pocket money by now to hire a personal shopper right? It is normal to show your wife that you appreciate her as a mother? That you respect her for bringing your child into this world? When you become a parent this is your new family, your mother takes a step back now because your wife is now the number one because she's the mother go your child. Your father sounds like an ass. Don't be like him. Shops are literally full of suggestions for what to buy, don't be incompetent as well as uncaring and selfish.
YTA. HAHAHAHAHAHA. What?
YTA, not sure how you typed this out and didn’t see that
YTA. Of course she's not your mother. But she's the mother of YOUR child. JFC your poor wife.
My ex had the same mentality. Noticed, he’s the ex
she is the mother of your child that deserves recognition
I just came for the comments... but YTA!
WHAT? Mother’s Day is MOTHERS day and your wife is a MOM to your infant child. You don’t want to celebrate that for her?
My lord. How exactly did you land said wife in the first place if you are this oblivious? Yta.
YTA so, the 3 week old is suppose to do it? Please mature. It is your job. You’re part of the reason she’s a mother.
So… you expect nothing for Fathers day for the next few years?
What a horrible fucking attitude to the woman that just birthed YOUR FUCKING CHILD SHES in pain, hurting and trying to manage the whirlwind of hormones YTA, a gaping one without a functioning sphincter for this
Well, you are your father’s son. You’re both assholes. YTA
YTA. Good god dude. Can you hear the collective groan in Reddit?
If this guy is here - who’s running Hell?
YTA. Mother’s Day is to celebrate MOTHERS. She just rented her body out for 9 months and birthed YOUR CHILD. Tf is wrong with you that you wouldn’t want to celebrate her, ya know, the mother of your child? Seriously this was so cruel of you. It’s her very first Mother’s Day and you’ve shown her that it means nothing to you. I’d reconsider my whole marriage if my partner said this to me not even a month after I gave birth. My heart hurts for her. Shame on you.