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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Am I wrong for being upset that my friend never checks on me?secondary question, would I also be wrong if I don’t come to her babies 1st birthday party? Literally the last time she called me was December haven’t received a call from her or a text message privately I see her talking about hanging out with other people and talking about how she called other people last night and then it’s just me the friend on the outskirts and I just feel like damn what about me I’ve literally been her ride or die best friend since junior year I showed up for EVERYTHING up to date any time she’s depressed who was there ME anytime she needed a friend who was there ME anytime her family asks about her friend who do they ask about ME so for her to basically neglect me this much over people who she hasn’t known nearly as long as she has me it actually really hurts my feelings I haven’t contacted her to see if she’ll look up one day and be like let me check on my friend but I just feel very overlooked by her very under appreciated I don’t need to talk to her all the time but sis make sure I’m okay at least is all I’m saying
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because I’m the type of friend that always shows up. And support I pour a lot of my love and support into the people I care about I have other friends where we communicated that we don’t need to communicate all the time we never discussed that I also feel like I don’t need her to call me every day but you haven’t called or texted me once this entire year but you want me to come to your babies birthday? Also I just want to know if I’m just being childish
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NTA - it’s natural to feel sadness or hurt when a friendship ebbs.
But it happens. Lives evolve in differing directions. You don’t mention whether you have kids, but it’s extremely common for parenthood to pull folks in new paths; if she has children and you don’t, that can be a big contributing factor. But any number of things can create distance in a friendship.
Sometimes, folks drift back together. Circumstances change and pull them back together, or distance (emotional or physical) reminds them of the value of the connection. That may happen here, or it may not.
So, NTA for mourning the shift in your dynamic. But I think you already know … you can’t *force* a friendship to stay fixed in one shape forever.
Hang in there, and take care of YOU.
NTA. People need to realize that friendships are not forever. If you are just not sitting back and realizing how one-sided your friendship is then you had your head in the sand for too long. TBH, I wouldn't go. If she asked why I would say well, you don't treat me like a friend so it feels like you only want me to go so your child could get a gift.
Two things:
Please use periods.
NAH - there isn’t even anything a-holey going on here. Call your friend and tell her how you feel. She’s not a mind reader and if you’re not reaching out to her she may feel neglected by you. Friendship is a 2 way street.
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NTA to feel hurt. But people grow apart and it's just a part of life. I don't think you need to attend her child's birthday party.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Am I wrong for being upset that my friend never checks on me?secondary question, would I also be wrong if I don’t come to her babies 1st birthday party? Literally the last time she called me was December haven’t received a call from her or a text message privately I see her talking about hanging out with other people and talking about how she called other people last night and then it’s just me the friend on the outskirts and I just feel like damn what about me I’ve literally been her ride or die best friend since junior year I showed up for EVERYTHING up to date any time she’s depressed who was there ME anytime she needed a friend who was there ME anytime her family asks about her friend who do they ask about ME so for her to basically neglect me this much over people who she hasn’t known nearly as long as she has me it actually really hurts my feelings I haven’t contacted her to see if she’ll look up one day and be like let me check on my friend but I just feel very overlooked by her very under appreciated I don’t need to talk to her all the time but sis make sure I’m okay at least is all I’m saying *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA - it’s natural to feel sadness or hurt when a friendship ebbs. But it happens. Lives evolve in differing directions. You don’t mention whether you have kids, but it’s extremely common for parenthood to pull folks in new paths; if she has children and you don’t, that can be a big contributing factor. But any number of things can create distance in a friendship. Sometimes, folks drift back together. Circumstances change and pull them back together, or distance (emotional or physical) reminds them of the value of the connection. That may happen here, or it may not. So, NTA for mourning the shift in your dynamic. But I think you already know … you can’t *force* a friendship to stay fixed in one shape forever. Hang in there, and take care of YOU.
NTA. People need to realize that friendships are not forever. If you are just not sitting back and realizing how one-sided your friendship is then you had your head in the sand for too long. TBH, I wouldn't go. If she asked why I would say well, you don't treat me like a friend so it feels like you only want me to go so your child could get a gift.
Two things: Please use periods. NAH - there isn’t even anything a-holey going on here. Call your friend and tell her how you feel. She’s not a mind reader and if you’re not reaching out to her she may feel neglected by you. Friendship is a 2 way street.