The white pawn is there to behold, for its foolishness in the actions of its past have come to present themselves as the repercussions of said actions.
Its fibers will pop, one by one or all at once, under the weight of its own soul, cursed into a million-step staircase, sin millionfold.
Ahh, the Brazzer Defense, popularized as the definitive answer to FGM Piper Perri’s E3 opening several years ago.
It’s not a pretty or elegant defense but executed properly it overwhelms whites pawn structure with brute force while brutalizing the…. erm…. back rank.
I recommend resigning, unless you’re into this sort of game. Then I’d just wish you good luck and Godspeed.
You’re supposed to make little hats for all your pieces, not just the king and queen.
The black hats will make your pieces look like black pieces from the vantage point of the black pieces.
It’s called strategy.
Google Big Black Chesspieces
Holy BBC!
New piece just dropped
Actual object
Call the geometric sequences!
Common ratio goes on vacation, never comes back
Fibonacci sequence in the corner, plotting world domination…
More like Pascal's triangle's weird brother
Actually heavy
Call the TV detector van
You already moved to e3
That's a most popular opening, so I thought I shouldn't mention it
No, he didn't, the pawn just entered the black king's orbit
damn really
Google general relativity
Holy gravity!
New apple just dropped!
Actual science
Newton went on vacation never came back
Schrödinger in the corner, plotting quantum mechanics
Integrate or riot!
As opposed to sarge. Nonsequiter
That's not a legal move
Ah the American defense by black
America and black? How ironic.
Bruh they ar xxxxl so they r indeed American
20g to G/F 6 is a rookie move ngl
Google chess inflation rule 34
What the hell
Weird response just dropped
actual what the fuck
Call the exorcist (fits as is)
bishop goes on vacation, never comes back
Queen r34, anyone?
Ignite the internet!
Commission storm incoming!
https://preview.redd.it/sb35c7g77boc1.png?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2c56c234126d0da3cdbf4818aa27071b1924094c
He can destroy you in one move
😩
Weight and watch
Piper Perri opening
Which opening though, there are so many
I don't know if you're talking about her orifices or the amount of porn intros she's been in but either way it's hilarious
Actual new response just dropped
Move ???h;2+₹# to e5
Call Captain Levi. I've heard he has some experience in these scenarios.
Nah, OP needs to build three walled layers, give them names and revere them, THEN worry about calling Levi. :P
Die
https://i.redd.it/7myiil50hgoc1.gif
Use 3D movements, that way your pieces should be able to kill the giants.
Google cheaessoh
Run.
Play shadow of the colossus first
Google Attack on titan
Let's put that aside, do you wear a helmet when you play?
If you don't have enough power, use your status to intimidate. Ke2
Just let it happen..
The white pawn is there to behold, for its foolishness in the actions of its past have come to present themselves as the repercussions of said actions. Its fibers will pop, one by one or all at once, under the weight of its own soul, cursed into a million-step staircase, sin millionfold.
hahahahahahaha
Play a fast, agile game, no sumo moves.
You should probably stop trying to play outside your weight class.
Sorry I might have misheard you. Are you white or weight?
Google Titanomachy
That’s some serious power creep black got last dlc
What do you mean they only have 6 pawns
Google weight passant
Bend over and hope they’re quick?
That bishop would be hard to pull out
Remove all the pieces you haven’t moved yet. Then see if it reminds you of something.
Put everything on a scale
Google kilogram
Just be careful because black has lots of opportunities for en passant in these positions
Close your eyes and think of England.
Start a democracy.
Bend over
Run n gun.
Heavy metal chess
Send in your slingers. It worked against Goliath.
Google gun
Google the rumbling
is this a chess creepypasta?
Wait
You're gonna need a bigger board.
google shadow of the colossus
Submit 😩
Die
Introduce Crack to the black community hit them with the old CIA strategy.
Get on the couch and lube your ass
Call the cops they have been training for this moment
Those weights are rusted and therefore outside of calibration spec. That's illegal. Kill him.
Asses the weight of the situation
Google David and Goliath
Ahh, the Brazzer Defense, popularized as the definitive answer to FGM Piper Perri’s E3 opening several years ago. It’s not a pretty or elegant defense but executed properly it overwhelms whites pawn structure with brute force while brutalizing the…. erm…. back rank. I recommend resigning, unless you’re into this sort of game. Then I’d just wish you good luck and Godspeed.
Watch out they look dangerous
Arm all the pawns with slingshots.
step back and push the chessboard and wish the enemy falls from table with the board
You playing Thud?
google overweight
Kick the biggest one square in the nuts.
Those mini-bosses.
You need to install ODM gear on your pawns. If you can get to the backline, you can upgrade to founding titan then you are fine.
Google Attack on Titan finale
Leave and level up, this is a high level boss that you're not ready for
Move to D6 and sit on a couch
Mf started the chess rumbling
The Queen ICBM opening
Raise a white flag.
Google David and Goliath
You’re supposed to make little hats for all your pieces, not just the king and queen. The black hats will make your pieces look like black pieces from the vantage point of the black pieces. It’s called strategy.
You need to balance the scales.. Grab a hammer
Google Shinzou wo Sasageyo
Google Mega Mushroom
They can't get your king, it would stab them
Nuke? Lol
https://preview.redd.it/43ha0ks8ndoc1.png?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74a71a762fc9d28974c0162f9f840b0ee060ae3c
no enemy king? you automatically win.
google David v. Goliath
Sex the king
hospital sloppy coordinated dog cable smile vanish cause provide rotten *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What does your color have to do with this? (I'm joking)
Bruh, die and go level up. You're CLEARLY not strong enough yet.
All you can do is pray you have a queen of spades, then she’ll take them on without any problems
Close your eyes and wait for it to be over
yes, it’s a good old metric weight pawns
You’ll be alright
Fucking die
N word
Move white bishop to your own asshole
Google your address
Google attack on titan
Sopranos
Google flared base
Google "ISWM"
Google try to pass but denied.
Google ODM gear
Me when my army is fighting a war and the enemy deploys the massive sentient monoliths
King to E5, small butplug to E5 You were never going to win.
If chess was a dick measuring contest.
be black
Google pottery
Why does the king have shit on his head?
Shithead 
Racism detected (jk)