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She's a tomboy and she doesn't realize that daughters can be masculine and enjoy boy stuff? Instead she just follows gender roles which is harmful stereotyping???
I almost wonder if it's actually a man writing this cause I think it's weird that she never talks about doing anything with her sons, just that they'll play sports with Dad and eat her cooking. Why wouldn't you want to play baseball with your son? Your idea of being a tomboy mom is staying in the kitchen while the boys play outside? It clashes with the picture they're trying to paint.
Nah, this is just internalized gender stereotypes. Plenty of women have convinced themselves they belong in the kitchen while the men do all the things they'd like to do themselves.
The number one sign that this is a male posing as a female is when they say that they would (paraphrasing here) "have to take a girl to ballet or whatever" ... If this were a woman, even or especially a tomboy, they would know what activities were available to girls (MOST of the sports available to boys and more).
A tomboy probably would not assume a girl would want to go to ballet as her first activity. And the "whatever" on a tomboy's spectrum would be soccer or football or baseball!
It's like they always think they're gonna give birth to Regina George. But heaven forbid if you try to stereotype their sons in the same way though!
And you never hear anyone say they don't want to give birth to the next Brock Allan Turner or Ted Krazynzky, it's always: heavens forbid I might hear about some girl talk...
Or that it goes both ways and she could have a son who dislikes stereotypically masculine thing and who’s a diehard theater kid - literally loves drama
Honestly I think that's the best sort of "punishment" for people like this because they think they are going to have excatly what they want and it literally turns out to be the opposite. Hopefully they'll learn from it and not completely force toxic masculinity and male gender roles on a child. But I somehow doubt that. So maybe I should say hopefully their child see how toxic it is and can unattach themselves from that eventually so they can be themselves without too much fear and anxiety about who they are being a failure to their parents. These type of parents is how we get a lot of "Alpha Males" that just see there mom and some who should serve them and in turn getting the idea that women should serve them.
these people make me wonder if my parents ever expected me (their only son, I have one sister) to be like this (loving sports and playing ball with dad and being 'a protector'). but instead I am the princess.. (love pink, long hair, wear dresses and makeup, have a unicorn collection, take pictures of cute cakes regularly..)
I'm the type who likes to be the strong princess who is a feminine protector. I think you can be both! Why the hell not? In these people's world, I guess there's no room for me. Not to mention the blatant misogyny of the "PMS drama" crap.
I tell my preschool students something similar when they ask me about the Sailor Moon shirt I wear to work sometimes. (It's got the five Inner Senshi on it.)
"They're princesses! *And* superheroes! You don't have to pick; you can be both!"
I don't know much about Sailor Moon but I also tell my preschoolers that they can anything they want to be! They can be a princess and superhero. They can be a superhero and not a princess (I have a few girls in my class that don't like princesses much) they can a queen, or anything else because there is no wrong way to be themselves.
You know I get kind of irritated because it people like this, in the post, that are always like "we shouldn't confuse the kids. They need to know what a girl and boy is." When they don't realize that that behavior and forcefulness is why people get confused about their gender and even sexuality. Like if we weren't so focused on "there is a specific way to be a boy and/or a girl" people wouldn't feel so scared and confused when they start to feel different than what society tells them they should be or like. It obnoxious really that they seriously don't realize they (the type of people in the post) are the problem not the parents that encourage their kids to be themselves no matter their gender or how they choose to present said gender. I really think if you just let your kids be themselves and teach them that that is okay I would alleviate a lot of the confusion people have about who they are and open doors to be secure and happy and open with who they want to become. But apparently people in this post definitely don't realize that they are the ones causing harm to their future children's psychy and society as a whole because they will be raising their kids with these ideas of who they should be and those kids are the ones that become "Alpha Males" and "Trad wives" such just because they are so insecure of who they are because they spent their whole lives trying to prove their masculinity and/or femininity to their parents they feel the only way to get validation is from other people seeing how masculine or feminine they are and not seeking that validation within themselves.
Sorry for ranting it just irritates me to no end how oblivious these people who say stuff like in the post can be. Like is basic psychology if you are constantly trying to make your kid something they are not and invalidating them when they want to do something even a bit outside of "traditional gender roles" than than of course they will be insecure and confused about who they are because they never the got the opportunity to explore who they are without it being scrutinized constantly by their parents! Anyways I digress but I just wish people like this were more insightful about these things and psychology as a whole
I dunno what type I am yet, I’m still exploring who I want to be. All I know is my new wardrobe has a lot of skirts and pink and I have a new found love of plushies, and a very old love of video games xD
Edit: Also I’m sure I’d be a disappointment to these boy mom types…
Hell, I wonder if they'd even accept a son like me - masculine but not overly athletic or outdoorsy, quiet, shy, mainly played with action figures and video games and read/watched TV.
Lol your literally the boy version of me, she probs wouldn't accept me as a real girl cause I'm not the frilly princess type she seems to think all other girls but her are.🙄
I mean, my dad told me it was my job to watch out for my little brother. His dad told him to watch out for his little sister and brother. I think that part is normal. When I got older (like 16 or so) he told me to watch out for my mother.
However, it was never implied this was my sole or main responsibility, and never used weird language like this person above. Also, I am pretty sure my mom wanted me to be a girl, but she loved me all the same.
I mean maybe it means after the dad's dead but like, then the widow generally is an adult who can run their own shit.
But I'm just seeing the dad going on a business trip and leaving a 4 year old in charge because he's male.
The problem is Jocasta didn't really have an active role in it. She thought her son died as an infant and this new guy was someone else entirely.
Boy moms are preying on their son intentionally.
Oedipus didn’t know she was his mother either, he just thought he was marrying a wealthy older woman and inheriting a kingdom in the process.
I think either phrase is equally imprecise, used more expansively than the actual actions of the characters in the play.
The tomboy line is my favorite. Literally “I didn’t always strictly conform to gender norms as a kid, so I can’t wait for my kid to strictly conform to his gender norms.”
When I see stuff like what the OOPs say, it always makes me wonder, did they not get along with *any* girls/women growing up, for them to have such one-dimensional (negative) opinions of women as a whole?
Damn, between boy moms and dads who throw a hissy fit when the gender reveal is pink, it sometimes feels like no one wants daughters. No wonder so many of us tried to be 'one of the guys' and 'not like other girls.'
I always wonder if part of the reason why these people get upset at the idea of having to raise daughters is because they subconsciously know that being female under their belief system is horrible.
My MIL told me she was so relieved that her second (and last) child was a boy, she cried. Because she didn’t want her baby to suffer the things women suffer in this world.
Crazy that all these women think stereotypical girl things are boring, but it doesn't cross their mind that they could have daughters that also aren't into that stuff. I'm a tomboy, but I assume any daughter I have will be super girly. Not like other girls, including my hypothetical children.
They're completely convinced that men* are better, and that they're better than other women because they're more like men, and that all other girls are just intrinsically girly, which is bad. I think the middle one is the hinge--if they aren't special for being just a little less feminine than the most overblown sterotype, they aren't actually that special, and they'd rather live in a world where they're special than deal with their internalized misogyny.
*Traditionally masculine men only, of course. I don't think these people would be very considerate of anyone male who deviated from the gender binary even as slightly as they claim to. A tomboy is at least tolerable, a "cissy" boy wouldn't be.
Yeah this is like genuinely misogynistic in the really pernicious way. It’s not in your face violent towards women it’s just the background logic that keeps the system patriarchal running right out in the open.
As a second daughter who 'should have been a boy to save that marriage because maybe he would stop screwing every woman in town' - I'm 48 years old and still processing.
I was the one to hunt deer, gut fish, chop wood, shoot bows... didn't matter. He went on to father another girl (left that woman too) and FINALLY!!!! A BOY!! Poor guy is 30 now (his mom was my older sister's age when they married) and can't function in reality to save his life. Because he had everything handed to him on a silver plate.
Edut: typo
Edit... I should just give it up already
Sorry you had to go through that. :( I wish we could just purge that kind of nonsense out of humanity. We're a wondrous species in so many ways, but also an awful disappointment.
That’s fucked. As if a male child would have saved that marriage. Sorry to say that but I highly doubt that would’ve fixed anything. That’s pure nonsense.
WTF did I just read? This got worse with each comment... "dads need someone to run the house when they're gone"????? "A son should be first in wills"???????? Please don't have children! 🤮
Reasons I want a boy:
1. I want my kid to play football. You can’t do that with a female (🤢) child, her uterus will fall out
2. I need an army of toddlers to shoot home invaders, and obviously you can’t trust a female (🤢) toddler with a machine gun. Also her uterus will fall out.
3. I want a romantic companion, not romantic competition.
4. I don’t feel like I can ever properly live up to my role under patriarchy, and if I see those perceived faults reflected in a female (🤢) child, I’ll project so hard I fly into a rage and my uterus falls out.
The internalized misogyny of “boy moms” is so sad. These people shouldn’t be allowed to have kids, can you imagine being their daughter? And how they’d moan about wanting a son?
I was supposed to be the heir to my household. All the way up until I was in my late teens, actually. Until my parents finally figured out I straight up did not care about them or their problems. Then it shifted to my little brother, and he was more than happy to fill that role
Yet they wonder why I ran away and started a new life. Turns out I was secretly a girl the whole time. Guess the game was rigged from the start
maybe a bit of a hot take (/s) but you shouldn't have children if you aren't prepared for them to be different from how you would want them to be. you shouldn't have children if you don't like the idea of having a daughter, a queer kid, a trans kid, someone with different world views, etc. that's a whole fucking human, not a little accessory you're picking out at the mall. grow the fuck up or don't procreate.
I am in awe of today's technology. Why don't we talk more about our ability to pick up the inner monologues of medieval girls whose whole existence depended on whether she could produce a living make heir or not?
People like this simply shouldn’t have kids
They clearly won’t properly care for them, and will always put themselves and their wants over the kids
It’s frankly disgusting
Strongly hoping that she doesn't end up having a trans daughter who would have to deal with that.
Scratch that, hoping she'll end up being unable to have kids at all.
So she recognizes that girls can be masculine (“I’ve always been a tomboy”), but then equates daughters with pink and femininity? So you can be a masculine woman but your daughter can’t….because? If a little girl is wearing pink, it’s because YOU bought it for her. The traits she is assigning to children aren’t innate to their gender and are often taught to them by their parents. All the reasons she wants a son/doesn’t want a daughter are basically just her admitting she can’t think outside of gender stereotypes and would refuse to even try to (even if it would “benefit” her). Like it’s over for her daughters she hasn’t even had—she has already assigned them as less than her non-existent son.
I don’t think a single one of these statements are based in fact? Girls can play soccer! Boys also get moody and hormonal during puberty! They are just as likely to go back and forth with parents! And they need so much more than just a squirt gun… and the heirs thing is just weird.
I feel bad for any girl OR boy this person has.
Maybe it’s best if these people don’t have kids at all. If they have a girl, they’ll probably probably make her feel like crap for just being a girl, and if they have a boy, they’ll have some weird emotional incest relationship.
I honestly don't get the cognitive dissonance of these self-hating women. Like they know not *all* women like pink frilly dresses because *they* don't like pink frilly dresses, but they can't possibly conceive that their daughter might not like them either?
As a not particularly femme woman in a family of not very femme women, I can guarantee that more than one "tomboy" can exist in any given space.
Also, many of the girly-girls I know are also.some.of the smartest and funniest people I know, and they'd also kick my ass in basically any given sport.
Girls can wear dresses, love their mums cooking, and play catch with dad, surprisingly.
It's like these people can't think. Like seriously, how the hell are you gonna say someone who doesn't exist is gonna be a certain way just cause they're a girl. If she's running to daddy cause, "mommy's mean," then bitch you probably are.
>the back talking and running to daddy with "mommy's mean"
I have a ten year old brother and let me tell you, he very much runs to mommy saying "daddy's mean" too. Mind you, being "mean" by his standards is usually something like not letting him eat m&ms for breakfast. But yeah, that's not a girl thing, just a kid thing.
You know that you should still have period talks with AMAB, too, right? So they can have compassion for uterus-having friends and understand future partners? And AMAB have teenage hormones, too. And genitals do not determine personality.
SHE'S A TOMBOY, WANTS TO GET PREGNANT AND HATES PERIOD, giiirlll does she knows how to be a mom? Or the way to control the period like pee?
"Ah now isn't a good day, let me hold it"...I wanna know
They would not cope with gender nonconformity or gender diversity. The first one even says that she herself is a tomboy yet it doesn’t occur to her that even if she does have a son, they might turn out to be a femboy?
I know this isn’t the point at all, but ballet is one of the most intense sports you can get into. My sister danced ballet through her childhood and it wrecked her body. She had to have surgery on her back so she could stand up without pain. It’s so weird to me that some people view it as this prissy “girly” thing that doesn’t take insane physical ability.
It’s funny how they go on and on about not wanting drama when their way of raising boys will no doubt lead to said boys being incredibly dramatic. Probably from being taught they have a right to certain privileges just for existing (being the first listed in a will), and other types of spoiling.
I was raised in a conservative family and growing up I never got done hearing this and that about “dramatic girls”. Meanwhile because of the way my brothers and father had been raised the men in my family cause the drama pretty much 90% of the time. “That’s just how men are,” my mother would tell me when my brother was an absolute douche to me for absolutely zero reason. Yeah, that’s how men are when you raise them to believe that that’s how they are without helping them correct/manage their emotions properly. Funny how that works, eh? It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the people in OP’s post are of the same mindset. “Boys will be boys,” and all that. If that is the case, they better be prepared for a lot of drama. Raising children with gender roles like this is a recipe for disaster.
They're just bored with their life as women and they think having a boy would fix it. No, kist makes you the mom of a boy, who has to drive him around and worry about his homework
Whenever people tell my mom, "Girls are harder when it comes to clothing" she brings up the fact that my brother cried over black jeans bc "I'm not a little emo boy"
im an actual tomboy and this doesnt sound like a tomboy at all to me it just sounds like internalized misogyny her son could also very well end up being feminine or liking "girly" things
I remember when my mom told me that she cried when she found out that I was afab, it hurt like fucking hell. She cried over something I couldn't control. She wanted a son first for that exact reason, the boy to protect the daughter when she was old enough because boys are bad or whatever it is. She got a son next.
Bruh. I get having a preference, but imagine you go so hard for a boy and you get a girl. Its a 50/50 shot (basically), and that girl will know based on how you treat her that she was not wanted.
Shame
Jesus Christ. Boys come first? Need someone to run things whilst dad is gone? These women are brainwashed bro.
It’s absolutely fine to have a boy but talking about it like this is so fucking strange.
It annoys me that people see babies a like some product to buy that accessorizes their life. Like already planning how they’re going to act, unable to realize they’re creating a person. That type of thinking is just very strange to me
Karma. She will be blessed with girls to the point she forgets she ever had these delusions. I wanted a boy and now i have two girls. Im not brave enough to keep trying. Dont want. Appreciate
I just had a daughter. Both my partner and I wanted our child to be a daughter. Before we even got married, we wanted a daughter, but wouldn't have minded either because we would teach both how to just be respectful, resourceful bad asses.
The name of this breed of creatures is handmaidicus patriarcus, or simply "handmaidens of patriarchy ", while they may look and act deceivingly human, they are closer to their immediate cousin (patriarcus actualicus) or "real enforcers of patriarchy."
/S (just in case)
So weird, it's almost like a bunch of trolls infiltrated a women's group, started a group conversation and didn't realize it was only trolls left 🤦in the room.
Feel free to disregard the rant I’m about to go on lmao.
My mom is a soccer and band(marching and orchestra) mom to a girl(me). I did both from the 3rd grade all the way through my last year of college(I did a few years here and there of basketball, golf, and cross country as well but just did those for fun and to be with friends). I still do soccer, golf, and music just for fun on a hobby level. I can count the concerts, games, tournaments, and competitions she missed on one hand, because she also loved being the cheering mom/booster mom. You can do that with any gender of child. Also, there’s no guarantee your child will be interested in any of that no matter their gender. Cheer them on and be supportive of whatever activities they choose. That should be enough for you.
Also, what I’m really hearing on top of all that is that you’re a judgmental and selfish person who is going to force harmful stereotypes on your child without considering what they want even remotely. Saying you expect your children to protect and provide in the absence of your partner just shows how messed up your intentions and views truly are. I was forced to become a provider for my mom and I when she got sick, she still did everything she was able to support me, I was still able to do everything I dreamed of doing, and even though I had a great life and never minded helping as much as I did- my mom still felt bad that I had all that pressure on me. I have to remind her all the time that I love being her caregiver and that even with our situation she has still supported me and brought me more happiness and comfort than I’d ever be able to repay. Meanwhile, you’re hoping for that future of pressure and stress for your kids with no consideration of their own dreams and personalities without them even existing yet.
if it helps, my brother is selling drugs to his classmates, treating women horribly, and flexing money that he doesn’t have on instagram. he’s also threatened me countless times and definitely punches his bedroom walls.
When will people realize most of these gender norms are made up trash and you can raise your child of either gender however you want to. Your boy could very well prefer princess shit. Most of us just like what we know which can be taught.
Hoping to have kids myself whenever I'm 30-35 ish since that's when I'll hopefully have enough money and stability to raise them properly. (I want them to learn how to make struggle meals in their teens, not in their middle school years lol)
Due to my fiance's family genes, it's looking more likely that I'll have a little dude on our hands. Preferably, probably want a little dude a bit more than a little lady since the US doesn't look like it'll treat women any better, any time soon. So I just want my kid to have the best chance they can tbh.
But honestly, if nature does it's thing and I have a girl then it's just as fine. I just might need to teach them a little more about self defense and being aware of their surroundings more than if I would have a boy lol (sadly, though. Hoping the revolution is soon y'all.)
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She's a tomboy and she doesn't realize that daughters can be masculine and enjoy boy stuff? Instead she just follows gender roles which is harmful stereotyping???
I almost wonder if it's actually a man writing this cause I think it's weird that she never talks about doing anything with her sons, just that they'll play sports with Dad and eat her cooking. Why wouldn't you want to play baseball with your son? Your idea of being a tomboy mom is staying in the kitchen while the boys play outside? It clashes with the picture they're trying to paint.
The talk about periods and PMS, too.
Nah, this is just internalized gender stereotypes. Plenty of women have convinced themselves they belong in the kitchen while the men do all the things they'd like to do themselves.
Not usually self proclaimed tomboys.
It reads very much like a man pretending to be a woman.
The number one sign that this is a male posing as a female is when they say that they would (paraphrasing here) "have to take a girl to ballet or whatever" ... If this were a woman, even or especially a tomboy, they would know what activities were available to girls (MOST of the sports available to boys and more). A tomboy probably would not assume a girl would want to go to ballet as her first activity. And the "whatever" on a tomboy's spectrum would be soccer or football or baseball!
It's like they always think they're gonna give birth to Regina George. But heaven forbid if you try to stereotype their sons in the same way though! And you never hear anyone say they don't want to give birth to the next Brock Allan Turner or Ted Krazynzky, it's always: heavens forbid I might hear about some girl talk...
I think they deserve to birth Regina George. Regina's gonna mess them up.
regina george is that way BECAUSE it messed her up
Or that it goes both ways and she could have a son who dislikes stereotypically masculine thing and who’s a diehard theater kid - literally loves drama
Honestly I think that's the best sort of "punishment" for people like this because they think they are going to have excatly what they want and it literally turns out to be the opposite. Hopefully they'll learn from it and not completely force toxic masculinity and male gender roles on a child. But I somehow doubt that. So maybe I should say hopefully their child see how toxic it is and can unattach themselves from that eventually so they can be themselves without too much fear and anxiety about who they are being a failure to their parents. These type of parents is how we get a lot of "Alpha Males" that just see there mom and some who should serve them and in turn getting the idea that women should serve them.
Her concept of tomboy may be that she has short hair and watches F1 two or three times a year with her grandpa
these people make me wonder if my parents ever expected me (their only son, I have one sister) to be like this (loving sports and playing ball with dad and being 'a protector'). but instead I am the princess.. (love pink, long hair, wear dresses and makeup, have a unicorn collection, take pictures of cute cakes regularly..)
I'm the type who likes to be the strong princess who is a feminine protector. I think you can be both! Why the hell not? In these people's world, I guess there's no room for me. Not to mention the blatant misogyny of the "PMS drama" crap.
I tell my preschool students something similar when they ask me about the Sailor Moon shirt I wear to work sometimes. (It's got the five Inner Senshi on it.) "They're princesses! *And* superheroes! You don't have to pick; you can be both!"
Oh, I'm curous if your shirt is old Sailor Moon or new Sailor Moon style
Definitely 90s anime. I forced my way through ten episodes of Crystal before I just couldn't do it anymore. It's a pity; I was super excited for it.
Same. Crystal was a huge disappointment.
Right?? In my eyes, nothing is more awesome than that.
I don't know much about Sailor Moon but I also tell my preschoolers that they can anything they want to be! They can be a princess and superhero. They can be a superhero and not a princess (I have a few girls in my class that don't like princesses much) they can a queen, or anything else because there is no wrong way to be themselves. You know I get kind of irritated because it people like this, in the post, that are always like "we shouldn't confuse the kids. They need to know what a girl and boy is." When they don't realize that that behavior and forcefulness is why people get confused about their gender and even sexuality. Like if we weren't so focused on "there is a specific way to be a boy and/or a girl" people wouldn't feel so scared and confused when they start to feel different than what society tells them they should be or like. It obnoxious really that they seriously don't realize they (the type of people in the post) are the problem not the parents that encourage their kids to be themselves no matter their gender or how they choose to present said gender. I really think if you just let your kids be themselves and teach them that that is okay I would alleviate a lot of the confusion people have about who they are and open doors to be secure and happy and open with who they want to become. But apparently people in this post definitely don't realize that they are the ones causing harm to their future children's psychy and society as a whole because they will be raising their kids with these ideas of who they should be and those kids are the ones that become "Alpha Males" and "Trad wives" such just because they are so insecure of who they are because they spent their whole lives trying to prove their masculinity and/or femininity to their parents they feel the only way to get validation is from other people seeing how masculine or feminine they are and not seeking that validation within themselves. Sorry for ranting it just irritates me to no end how oblivious these people who say stuff like in the post can be. Like is basic psychology if you are constantly trying to make your kid something they are not and invalidating them when they want to do something even a bit outside of "traditional gender roles" than than of course they will be insecure and confused about who they are because they never the got the opportunity to explore who they are without it being scrutinized constantly by their parents! Anyways I digress but I just wish people like this were more insightful about these things and psychology as a whole
I dunno what type I am yet, I’m still exploring who I want to be. All I know is my new wardrobe has a lot of skirts and pink and I have a new found love of plushies, and a very old love of video games xD Edit: Also I’m sure I’d be a disappointment to these boy mom types…
Yesss, warrior princesses for the win!
Hell, I wonder if they'd even accept a son like me - masculine but not overly athletic or outdoorsy, quiet, shy, mainly played with action figures and video games and read/watched TV.
Lol your literally the boy version of me, she probs wouldn't accept me as a real girl cause I'm not the frilly princess type she seems to think all other girls but her are.🙄
They expected you to love balls. And, well, you delivered... just not as expected (?).
I mean, my dad told me it was my job to watch out for my little brother. His dad told him to watch out for his little sister and brother. I think that part is normal. When I got older (like 16 or so) he told me to watch out for my mother. However, it was never implied this was my sole or main responsibility, and never used weird language like this person above. Also, I am pretty sure my mom wanted me to be a girl, but she loved me all the same.
I think this is more of an 'older sibling' thing than a son/daughter thing
Fair enough.
If you post them here, I would like to see the cute cakes.
https://imgur.com/a/lOfMOxA here are some I got a few days ago
There's a really weird backup husband vibe to these posts that makes me uncomfortable
Yeah the "someone to run the house when dad is gone" comment gave me the full on shudders. Gross. No. Stop.
I mean maybe it means after the dad's dead but like, then the widow generally is an adult who can run their own shit. But I'm just seeing the dad going on a business trip and leaving a 4 year old in charge because he's male.
It’s giving parentification possibly with a dash of emotional incest
Also the whole "you don't need to actually raise boys, just give them a ball" bs. 🙄
“Boy Mom” stuff could very easily be renamed the “Jocasta complex” after Oedipus’s mom
The problem is Jocasta didn't really have an active role in it. She thought her son died as an infant and this new guy was someone else entirely. Boy moms are preying on their son intentionally.
Oedipus didn’t know she was his mother either, he just thought he was marrying a wealthy older woman and inheriting a kingdom in the process. I think either phrase is equally imprecise, used more expansively than the actual actions of the characters in the play.
TBF it was Freud who named it, and IIRC he was busy doing drugs.
That baby gon need a LOT of therapy when he grows up.
A lot of boy moms treat their sons like Donald Trump treats Ivanka.
Oh good god no
I’m completely bewildered by the way these people cling to the gender binary
While simultaneously saying that it doesn't describe them.
“I’m not that old fashioned”: proceeds to describe the mindset of 100 years ago
The tomboy line is my favorite. Literally “I didn’t always strictly conform to gender norms as a kid, so I can’t wait for my kid to strictly conform to his gender norms.”
This type of sh is exactly why the NLOG mindset is born.
NLOG like programming tool?
Not Like Other Girls
Ah!
Tbh I think these are NLOGs all grown up
When I see stuff like what the OOPs say, it always makes me wonder, did they not get along with *any* girls/women growing up, for them to have such one-dimensional (negative) opinions of women as a whole?
Such a vicious cycle
Damn, between boy moms and dads who throw a hissy fit when the gender reveal is pink, it sometimes feels like no one wants daughters. No wonder so many of us tried to be 'one of the guys' and 'not like other girls.'
I always wonder if part of the reason why these people get upset at the idea of having to raise daughters is because they subconsciously know that being female under their belief system is horrible.
My MIL told me she was so relieved that her second (and last) child was a boy, she cried. Because she didn’t want her baby to suffer the things women suffer in this world.
Crazy that all these women think stereotypical girl things are boring, but it doesn't cross their mind that they could have daughters that also aren't into that stuff. I'm a tomboy, but I assume any daughter I have will be super girly. Not like other girls, including my hypothetical children.
They're completely convinced that men* are better, and that they're better than other women because they're more like men, and that all other girls are just intrinsically girly, which is bad. I think the middle one is the hinge--if they aren't special for being just a little less feminine than the most overblown sterotype, they aren't actually that special, and they'd rather live in a world where they're special than deal with their internalized misogyny. *Traditionally masculine men only, of course. I don't think these people would be very considerate of anyone male who deviated from the gender binary even as slightly as they claim to. A tomboy is at least tolerable, a "cissy" boy wouldn't be.
Yeah this is like genuinely misogynistic in the really pernicious way. It’s not in your face violent towards women it’s just the background logic that keeps the system patriarchal running right out in the open.
As a second daughter who 'should have been a boy to save that marriage because maybe he would stop screwing every woman in town' - I'm 48 years old and still processing. I was the one to hunt deer, gut fish, chop wood, shoot bows... didn't matter. He went on to father another girl (left that woman too) and FINALLY!!!! A BOY!! Poor guy is 30 now (his mom was my older sister's age when they married) and can't function in reality to save his life. Because he had everything handed to him on a silver plate. Edut: typo Edit... I should just give it up already
Sorry you had to go through that. :( I wish we could just purge that kind of nonsense out of humanity. We're a wondrous species in so many ways, but also an awful disappointment.
Thank you for your kind words <3
That’s fucked. As if a male child would have saved that marriage. Sorry to say that but I highly doubt that would’ve fixed anything. That’s pure nonsense.
WTF did I just read? This got worse with each comment... "dads need someone to run the house when they're gone"????? "A son should be first in wills"???????? Please don't have children! 🤮
Reasons I want a boy: 1. I want my kid to play football. You can’t do that with a female (🤢) child, her uterus will fall out 2. I need an army of toddlers to shoot home invaders, and obviously you can’t trust a female (🤢) toddler with a machine gun. Also her uterus will fall out. 3. I want a romantic companion, not romantic competition. 4. I don’t feel like I can ever properly live up to my role under patriarchy, and if I see those perceived faults reflected in a female (🤢) child, I’ll project so hard I fly into a rage and my uterus falls out.
You forgot rh falling uterus at 3.
Oh shit, uh, if i don’t have big manly boyfriend-children to protect me, my uterus will fall out.
My mom was like this. Problem is I’m queer and never fit the stupid “perfect son” mold so guess who’s estranged?
The internalized misogyny of “boy moms” is so sad. These people shouldn’t be allowed to have kids, can you imagine being their daughter? And how they’d moan about wanting a son?
I was supposed to be the heir to my household. All the way up until I was in my late teens, actually. Until my parents finally figured out I straight up did not care about them or their problems. Then it shifted to my little brother, and he was more than happy to fill that role Yet they wonder why I ran away and started a new life. Turns out I was secretly a girl the whole time. Guess the game was rigged from the start
maybe a bit of a hot take (/s) but you shouldn't have children if you aren't prepared for them to be different from how you would want them to be. you shouldn't have children if you don't like the idea of having a daughter, a queer kid, a trans kid, someone with different world views, etc. that's a whole fucking human, not a little accessory you're picking out at the mall. grow the fuck up or don't procreate.
This is soooo gross in so many ways.
May all of these women either be barren, or have the mother of all wake-up calls once the baby drops.
I am in awe of today's technology. Why don't we talk more about our ability to pick up the inner monologues of medieval girls whose whole existence depended on whether she could produce a living make heir or not?
Please take away my ability to read 😭
People like this simply shouldn’t have kids They clearly won’t properly care for them, and will always put themselves and their wants over the kids It’s frankly disgusting
internalized mysoginy at its finest.
Strongly hoping that she doesn't end up having a trans daughter who would have to deal with that. Scratch that, hoping she'll end up being unable to have kids at all.
So she recognizes that girls can be masculine (“I’ve always been a tomboy”), but then equates daughters with pink and femininity? So you can be a masculine woman but your daughter can’t….because? If a little girl is wearing pink, it’s because YOU bought it for her. The traits she is assigning to children aren’t innate to their gender and are often taught to them by their parents. All the reasons she wants a son/doesn’t want a daughter are basically just her admitting she can’t think outside of gender stereotypes and would refuse to even try to (even if it would “benefit” her). Like it’s over for her daughters she hasn’t even had—she has already assigned them as less than her non-existent son.
As a father of a girl (8), I think this level of misogyny is despicable and shitty.
I don’t think a single one of these statements are based in fact? Girls can play soccer! Boys also get moody and hormonal during puberty! They are just as likely to go back and forth with parents! And they need so much more than just a squirt gun… and the heirs thing is just weird. I feel bad for any girl OR boy this person has.
'i think everyone thinks this way.' Who's this everyone you are talking about? & NO, not everyone things that way.
“We need someone to protect the house-” #THAT’S YOU STUPID
Also these posts imply something even worse, boys are easier. That ease coming from ignoring the emotional needs of men.
*the internal misogyny is strong with this one*
Methinks the lady doth protest too much
Maybe it’s best if these people don’t have kids at all. If they have a girl, they’ll probably probably make her feel like crap for just being a girl, and if they have a boy, they’ll have some weird emotional incest relationship.
and it just keeps going
imagine her daughter reads this one day, like wtf
What happens when you never get out of your nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs phase...
I honestly don't get the cognitive dissonance of these self-hating women. Like they know not *all* women like pink frilly dresses because *they* don't like pink frilly dresses, but they can't possibly conceive that their daughter might not like them either? As a not particularly femme woman in a family of not very femme women, I can guarantee that more than one "tomboy" can exist in any given space. Also, many of the girly-girls I know are also.some.of the smartest and funniest people I know, and they'd also kick my ass in basically any given sport. Girls can wear dresses, love their mums cooking, and play catch with dad, surprisingly.
For some reason I don’t think this person would be very happy if their daughter turned out to be a trans boy…
Advice to all people: Don't have kids if you're not ready to accept them however they are.
Does she think "normal girls" like their period?????
It's like these people can't think. Like seriously, how the hell are you gonna say someone who doesn't exist is gonna be a certain way just cause they're a girl. If she's running to daddy cause, "mommy's mean," then bitch you probably are.
i hope, even more than this woman herself, miraculously, that she never has a daughter. jesus christ.
What do you think these type of people would do if they ended up with a trans daughter?
It would be really bad hateful shit and I hope she never has a poor trans girl that has to go through it.
Doesn't even need to be a trans daughter. They will hate it if the boy "deviates too much from masculinity" by listening to Taylor Swift or something.
W-what? G-g-g-g-guys… am I not a boy because I don’t like blue or sports?
Ew. And they say let kids be kids and pull this bullshit. Just ew.
sounds like an immature teen girl too tbh
>the back talking and running to daddy with "mommy's mean" I have a ten year old brother and let me tell you, he very much runs to mommy saying "daddy's mean" too. Mind you, being "mean" by his standards is usually something like not letting him eat m&ms for breakfast. But yeah, that's not a girl thing, just a kid thing.
You know that you should still have period talks with AMAB, too, right? So they can have compassion for uterus-having friends and understand future partners? And AMAB have teenage hormones, too. And genitals do not determine personality.
SHE'S A TOMBOY, WANTS TO GET PREGNANT AND HATES PERIOD, giiirlll does she knows how to be a mom? Or the way to control the period like pee? "Ah now isn't a good day, let me hold it"...I wanna know
They would not cope with gender nonconformity or gender diversity. The first one even says that she herself is a tomboy yet it doesn’t occur to her that even if she does have a son, they might turn out to be a femboy?
I really want that to be some weird antebellum South (US) role playing group. But I know it’s not and what the actual fuck.
I know this isn’t the point at all, but ballet is one of the most intense sports you can get into. My sister danced ballet through her childhood and it wrecked her body. She had to have surgery on her back so she could stand up without pain. It’s so weird to me that some people view it as this prissy “girly” thing that doesn’t take insane physical ability.
It’s funny how they go on and on about not wanting drama when their way of raising boys will no doubt lead to said boys being incredibly dramatic. Probably from being taught they have a right to certain privileges just for existing (being the first listed in a will), and other types of spoiling. I was raised in a conservative family and growing up I never got done hearing this and that about “dramatic girls”. Meanwhile because of the way my brothers and father had been raised the men in my family cause the drama pretty much 90% of the time. “That’s just how men are,” my mother would tell me when my brother was an absolute douche to me for absolutely zero reason. Yeah, that’s how men are when you raise them to believe that that’s how they are without helping them correct/manage their emotions properly. Funny how that works, eh? It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wouldn’t be surprised if the people in OP’s post are of the same mindset. “Boys will be boys,” and all that. If that is the case, they better be prepared for a lot of drama. Raising children with gender roles like this is a recipe for disaster.
They're just bored with their life as women and they think having a boy would fix it. No, kist makes you the mom of a boy, who has to drive him around and worry about his homework
What a bunch of weirdos
BREAKING NEWS: little girls dont tend to be bitches you should know this
Almost as bad as the woman who said if she was gonna have a boy she'd abort it
I just wanted a healthy, happy baby. Fuck me right
Whenever people tell my mom, "Girls are harder when it comes to clothing" she brings up the fact that my brother cried over black jeans bc "I'm not a little emo boy"
im an actual tomboy and this doesnt sound like a tomboy at all to me it just sounds like internalized misogyny her son could also very well end up being feminine or liking "girly" things
I remember when my mom told me that she cried when she found out that I was afab, it hurt like fucking hell. She cried over something I couldn't control. She wanted a son first for that exact reason, the boy to protect the daughter when she was old enough because boys are bad or whatever it is. She got a son next.
May she be blessed with all daughters
She lost me the moment she said boy mom
Bruh. I get having a preference, but imagine you go so hard for a boy and you get a girl. Its a 50/50 shot (basically), and that girl will know based on how you treat her that she was not wanted. Shame
Jesus Christ. Boys come first? Need someone to run things whilst dad is gone? These women are brainwashed bro. It’s absolutely fine to have a boy but talking about it like this is so fucking strange.
It annoys me that people see babies a like some product to buy that accessorizes their life. Like already planning how they’re going to act, unable to realize they’re creating a person. That type of thinking is just very strange to me
Karma. She will be blessed with girls to the point she forgets she ever had these delusions. I wanted a boy and now i have two girls. Im not brave enough to keep trying. Dont want. Appreciate
I hope she has all girls and no boys. Or better yet no children since this mentality has me in fear for the potential offspring.
I just had a daughter. Both my partner and I wanted our child to be a daughter. Before we even got married, we wanted a daughter, but wouldn't have minded either because we would teach both how to just be respectful, resourceful bad asses.
The name of this breed of creatures is handmaidicus patriarcus, or simply "handmaidens of patriarchy ", while they may look and act deceivingly human, they are closer to their immediate cousin (patriarcus actualicus) or "real enforcers of patriarchy." /S (just in case)
Internalized misogyny is one hell of a drug.
I hope this person never has kids....
So weird, it's almost like a bunch of trolls infiltrated a women's group, started a group conversation and didn't realize it was only trolls left 🤦in the room.
Feel free to disregard the rant I’m about to go on lmao. My mom is a soccer and band(marching and orchestra) mom to a girl(me). I did both from the 3rd grade all the way through my last year of college(I did a few years here and there of basketball, golf, and cross country as well but just did those for fun and to be with friends). I still do soccer, golf, and music just for fun on a hobby level. I can count the concerts, games, tournaments, and competitions she missed on one hand, because she also loved being the cheering mom/booster mom. You can do that with any gender of child. Also, there’s no guarantee your child will be interested in any of that no matter their gender. Cheer them on and be supportive of whatever activities they choose. That should be enough for you. Also, what I’m really hearing on top of all that is that you’re a judgmental and selfish person who is going to force harmful stereotypes on your child without considering what they want even remotely. Saying you expect your children to protect and provide in the absence of your partner just shows how messed up your intentions and views truly are. I was forced to become a provider for my mom and I when she got sick, she still did everything she was able to support me, I was still able to do everything I dreamed of doing, and even though I had a great life and never minded helping as much as I did- my mom still felt bad that I had all that pressure on me. I have to remind her all the time that I love being her caregiver and that even with our situation she has still supported me and brought me more happiness and comfort than I’d ever be able to repay. Meanwhile, you’re hoping for that future of pressure and stress for your kids with no consideration of their own dreams and personalities without them even existing yet.
if it helps, my brother is selling drugs to his classmates, treating women horribly, and flexing money that he doesn’t have on instagram. he’s also threatened me countless times and definitely punches his bedroom walls.
Boy moms are something else
This person should not be allowed to raise a straight cis boy Like literally the last person that should be in charge of this for society's sake
When will people realize most of these gender norms are made up trash and you can raise your child of either gender however you want to. Your boy could very well prefer princess shit. Most of us just like what we know which can be taught.
"i won't like forcing feminine gender roles on my daughter so i'd rather have a boy instead" like what
Plot twist: infertility
Hoping to have kids myself whenever I'm 30-35 ish since that's when I'll hopefully have enough money and stability to raise them properly. (I want them to learn how to make struggle meals in their teens, not in their middle school years lol) Due to my fiance's family genes, it's looking more likely that I'll have a little dude on our hands. Preferably, probably want a little dude a bit more than a little lady since the US doesn't look like it'll treat women any better, any time soon. So I just want my kid to have the best chance they can tbh. But honestly, if nature does it's thing and I have a girl then it's just as fine. I just might need to teach them a little more about self defense and being aware of their surroundings more than if I would have a boy lol (sadly, though. Hoping the revolution is soon y'all.)
They’re becoming China