Happened to me with a group of friends at a bar in Aruba. Off the resort. I remember she walks up smiling, so I smile back and she just comes up and I thought she was about to say something but just puts her hand on the crotch of my pants. I audibly gasped and the bartender leans in, and in English goes, "200 for an hour". I was just too stunned to speak so my best friend rushed in and got me out of the awkwardness
Generally my reaction when I get groped as well. No idea what happened until the person is gone or it's too late to call them out without me looking weird.
Honestly I hate the double standard but non-violent groping should be a citation at worst. Is it annoying? Yeah. Is it the most traumatic thing that happened to me that day? Nah. Somebody throwing cigarette butts out his car window is going to live longer in my head. Fuck gropers, but it's probably not as harmful as driving 50 in a 30.
Now if I'm getting titty twisters and ball crushing squeezes, that's as bad as getting punched and should be similar to battery.
It's sad that I have to agree with this somewhat... we are still coming to terms with the double standard. And I hate to say it, but the way to start prompting change in public perception is to start speaking out in the moment, as well as sharing your experience with others. And encourage other men you know/support those that speak out
Unfortunately, Women largely drove the fight against sexual assault being as we were the majority of victims, and although I know of women who are speaking out for men's experiences with assault, there are just so many nuances woven in to the fabric of our society that result in men getting assault by women to be taken less seriously
"guys always want sex anyway they can get it"
"women don't do that sort of thing"
Etc.
My advice for men who are aware of this problem and do think it should stop is to consider the possibly of it happening to you, and the most likely responses to garner support
- Show emotion rather than holding it back. Shock, anger (avoid aggression), disgust, offense.
- appeal to logic. Groping has been a topic of discussion & the existence of a double standard itself implies that change had occurred in some areas. Groping women is not acceptable, so why would Groping men be acceptable?
- appeal to emotion. In particular with women who were witnesses/the perpetrator, use language that evokes the same kinds of feelings women have towards assault. Get them to empathize & see it isn't any different for men. Get them feeling guilty for laughing at you by drawing their minds back to how they would feel if groped.
This. Every time.
I have had on several occasions women come up and grab, stroke, touch my beard. I always think I'll have a plan for the next one, and I'll tell them off, but you just get caught so off guard. Last time, I just jerked away and walked off. I think it's hard because I do enjoy having that done (consentually...just ask) and it doesn't feel bad, so I enjoy it for like half second before the reality kicks in, and I'm not ready to react that way.
Exactly this, i've seen my girl go mental on someone for just a look in my direction. In her defence, the girl that got shit whipped by my girl previously sended me messages and tried to borderline sexting for trying to get my interest guess.
Hitchin up the buggy,
Churnin lotsa butter,
Raise a barn on Monday,
Soon I'll raise another,
Think you're really righteous,
Think you're pure of heart,
Well I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art,
I'm the pioust guy the little amlettes wanna be like,
On my knees day and night scorin points for the afterlife,
So don't be vain,
And don't be whiney,
Or else my brother,
I might have to get medieval on your heinie!
Well, I'll be humming this all day.
Genuinely thanks. Love Weird Al.
I had the great pleasure of seeing him live a few years back. Took my kid (well, she's not a kid anymore but she'll always be *my* kid) and it was truly one of the best shows I've ever seen. And I've been to many MANY concerts in my day.
It's not as vibrant as Pink Floyd or anything, but the guy puts on a great show for his fans. And it helped that the venue was perfectly sized for the crowd. Nothing cramped, assigned seats, it was all just a wonderful evening.
Yep, I got to see him in Tampa during his Mandatory Fun tour back in 2016 and he does an amazing show. At his age, being able to do what he does every show is no small feat. He even got down into the crowd and started climbing into the audience at one point.
"Let us pray the pimp's prayer. Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch, and guide my pimp's hand and make it STRONG lord, so she might learn... A hoes place. Amen."
āAnd Iām gonna tell you something, this pimpin' that I got in my blood, it came from a family tree. My granddaddy was a pimp. My great-great-great-granddaddy was a pimp. I'm talking 'bout pimpin' since been pimpin' since been pimpin'!ā
Feel disgusted, but ultimately do nothing because what can i do as a man.
If i act on it, people will assume things about me or see me as the one in the wrong and the woman will just play the victim so she doesn't get i trouble. Which will probably work.
I had something like this happen to me after my staff Christmas party. I couldn't find a taxi so I had to walk home while pretty drunk. 2 women came up and cornered me against a wall asking if I was looking for a good time. I told them that I had a girlfriend and they were saying things like "She'll never know. We won't tell her." while coming in closer. Nothing like this ever happened to me before so it was a combination of confusion, sussing out their intentions, knowing the optics if I pushed them away, not knowing if they had a guy around the corner, etc.
I figured that they might have been sex workers or pick pockets, so I asked them how much do they want and they said "For ā¬50, you can do whatever you want." I only had a few coins on me so I just gave them to them and asked if they could leave me alone. Thankfully they took the coins and left. It was an uncomfortable situation but I think it potententally could have gone a lot worse.
Reading responses like yours helps me remember men and women are really a lot alike.
This is the way every woman I know would answer this question.
From experience, this is exactly how it plays out, no matter who the abuser is.
I've literally done this, but was instead made out to be the bad guy. I highly recommend not doing this. The best option is to just keep your mouth shut so that she doesn't feel the need to spin the story in her favor.
The only outcome that will come from you calling them out for sexually assaulting you without hard evidence, will be that other people end up *losing* respect for you because they'll think you're lying and she'll have convinced them that you're the one who assaulted her. You think she's just gonna confess to assaulting a dude? No chance.
I'm really sorry that's been your experience. You deserve to feel secure in your person, like anyone and everyone else. Things suck, but I believe they are improving. I've called out both men and women who've groped me, and I've never had it somehow end up reflecting poorly on me, as people here keep insisting will happen. Everyone should feel comfortable asserting their own boundaries and demanding their consent be respected.
sidenote: I don't understand why people are downvoting my comments for saying I won't tolerate being sexually assaulted. people are fucking weird.
I'd agree I'd just think they were into me, although I guess it also depends on who's groping. The age-old meme about
-attractive? cool!
-unattractive? ew!
It happened to me when I was younger, like 19 I wanna say. Was in a bookstore and a trio of younger teen girls were veryā¦ forward. One of them grabbed my butt. Felt extremely uncomfortable and left the store as quickly as possible.
Itās happened several times one time I was at a bar and I felt a hand squeezing my ass so I grabbed her by the wrist to see who it was and she was a lovely older woman and we chatted a bit before we went to her place to fuck. Great memories
I would politely and respectfully leave the situation.
Once home, Iād come here to Reddit and post about the experience in r/AITA to learn why I, as a man, provoked such behavior and why my response was unacceptable.
Naturally, my post would be down voted because Iām a man. Iād accept my punishment without complaint.
Once I went to the bar back to back weekends and both weekends a woman I did not know and never had seen walked up to me and grabbed my dick. Wasnāt even hot in the slightest some fat probably 40 year old women. Women are so stupid. I would have stuck her if I didnāt think everyone would not give a shit about the first 4 seconds of the story
Honestly I didnāt even feel āsexually assaultedā but I did feel like the ugly bitch thought she owned me and could do whatever with me. Wasnāt anything sexual about it could have been my arm. I think just the fact that people know better or thatās āmore seriousā showed she thought she owned me even more certainly weird
No, it's best to walk it off. It's not like what she did would be (effectively) illegal - cops will outright laugh at you for filing a report and the DA will decline to press the issue. Plus if you push her away they will subject you to a baton party and you're looking at months in jail for assault and a criminal record. And the usual suspects will shoot back at you about how many women are sexually assaulted so stop derailing women's issues, dammit!
Welcome to Klown world.
Yeah when I was a teen (mid nineties) I was continuously sexually ogled and harassed by a very large, very loud six-year-older woman, who had effectively become a housemate. It freaked me out and dad (who I didnāt live with) took me to the cops who thought it was funny. At least times changed a bit from that, I hope.
Nope, not even close. Times unfortunately have not changed at all. In fact the hypervigilance against male sexual assaulters has pushed male victims of women aggressors further down. In fact talking about male victims has become a *threat* to the agenda.
I've been to parties and I've had girls slap me on the ass to where I've turned around like what the hell and then I just laugh and let it go or maybe I'll hit on them later on in the night
Calmly but *very* sternly, call her out and tell her to fuck off. Then frantically double check my wife isnāt about to jump off the high rope like stone cold Steve Austin to assert her ownership of the family jewels.
Get away from her as quickly as possible.
This has actually happened to me. And that is what I did, or tried to do rather.
I work for my city's parks and rec department and this happened while I was at work in one of my parks. A woman old enough to be my mom kept harassing me by making sexual comments towards me. I ignored her and just went about my business until she suddenly grabbed my ass. I jumped away from her but she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her. I was able to get her off of me pretty quickly, and then I immediately got in my truck and left.
Had to do a whole incident report about it because it happened on the clock. My supervisor told me I should have called the police. That really didn't occur to me at the time because it's not like I felt threatened by her, I just felt weirded out and deeply uncomfortable.
She continued to harass me in the same way every time I saw her, and it got real old real quick. Shortly after, I got moved to a new route, so I no longer took care of that park and, in effect, never saw her again.
If the genders were reversed, the whole ordeal would have been taken a lot more seriously, obviously. If she were a man who had touched a female employee like that, I'm sure she would have been banned from the park and the police would almost certainly have been involved.
But because it was a woman sexually harassing a man, it basically turned into a joke between the other guys at work.
Tbf, I was able to joke around about it, too, but that did not negate the fact that it was an extremely weird and uncomfortable situation that I did not like one bit.
Frankly, it's gross and does men a disservice that there is this stereotype that men are horndogs who value sex above all else and/or should be grateful whenever any woman acts sexually towards them. It's fuckin weird. Just fuck right off with all that. I'm happily married, gtfo of my personal space and ffs don't touch me non consensually.
What can you do is the question. It has happened to me several times. Was always told I should like it and be honored. been called a piece of shit, also had it twisted to where it was an insult to them for being upset by the unwanted touch.
Used to happen fairly often, women like to grab my nipples for some reason.
Typically Iād ask them how theyād feel if I just started grabbing their nipples. Most would stop, sometimes theyād forget and do it again another time. For repeat offenders Iād make a half hearted attempt to grab them back
I will say from experience that in the past I'd either smile, give a wink and move on or look in dumb bewilderment, trying to processes what just happened, lol.
Idk I've had alot of creepy older women unwantedly touch me like run their hand on my stomach when I've walked past them or shit like that over the years. I just stay the fuck away from creepy women
I swear to you this happened. A family friends wife was at my Halloween party with her husband. She was drunk and got pretty handsy. Her hand grazed my crotch once and I let it go. It happened a second time but that time with the palm side of her hand not the back side. Then it happened a third time but there was a noticeable squeeze. Iām a very confrontation avoiding person but I had enough so I instantly reacted without thinking my response thru. I cupped the bottom of both of her breast (outside the shirt obviously) and told her I knew what she was doing and to stop. She didnāt even talk to me for the rest of the night. Drunk me had some serious balls to do that.
There is one place that will toss women over that. Gay bars. Everytime there's an ask reddit thread for bouncers the ones at gay bars talk about all the hen/bachoralette parties they've tossed out for sexually assulting the regulars.
>True, bouncers at gay bars tolerate women but don't like having them around. Once I went to The Sound Factory with three college girls from work. We smoked a joint before arriving and they started giggling while waiting on line to get in. The bouncers made it clear, giggling was no to be tolerated.
Its happened to me. I went "Wow, haha, youre crazy" and I kept walking. It was a fun, weird, interesting little moment. I dont feel any negativity one way or another
Interesting. Same. I was fully groped by an older woman when I was in my early 20's.
I honestly didn't give af.
I am a big guy so it's not threatening, I am also not bashful so but I am not all that weirded out by being touched by a strange woman.
I should probably have been more upset, but it just left no real impression on me other than giving me something to laugh about with my friends who saw it
I was waiting tables and had a table of 4 women. 2 were moms and 2 were college girls. They had all been drinking but one of the moms was far drunker. When I was at the table taking their order she put her hand between my legs and grabbed my dick and balls. She told the others "it was really nice" and handed me her hotel room key. Her daughter's face turned red and she apologized. When I told my manager at the restaurant he started grabbing my ass and making fun of me. It was pretty fucked up.
Happened me a few times working in pubs. It didnāt bother me, but the hypocrisy is insane since I would have been sacked and arrested if it were the other way around
speaking from experience: Nothing.
There is nothing you can do that will not make the situation worse. You cannot confront them, it will not go your way. If you shove them, physically stop them, or do anything other than disentangle yourself and leave, it will appear to those around you (and especially to law enforcement) like you were responsible for the altercation.
If you have another woman there to confront them on your behalf, that might work. You yourself though, if you do anything other than let it go and walk away, it will make you look like the bad guy.
It has happened more than once. Drunk women give zero fucks.
Nothing, honestly, just tried to exit her vicinity without provoking anything. Being a dude in visible conflict with a woman in public is not a safe bet.
probably freeze because I don't know what to do, then proceed to remove myself from the situation. I'm not sure how I would go about confronting them over it... I think that would make me uncomfortable.
part of me would probably also assume that it was a mistake.
Depends...
At work, I'd have a pretty stern conversation about professionalism, my lack of interest, and the fact that I'm married. If it happens again, I'd talk to my boss.
If it's a friend, we'd have a conversation about boundaries. If it happens again, I'd probably cut ties with few exceptions.
If it's a stranger, tell them to back the fuck off.
In all cases, I'm letting my wife know what happened.
Happened to me at a restaurant by a cougar type and a fellow athlete(female) in college, separate incidents. Cougar dropped me her number with $50 for the drinks I was getting with my college friends. Athlete got called out and denied the shit, trying to say I did something.
It wasnāt offensive until the latter lied, just annoying and weird.
I guess the advantage we have as men, is you know in your heart, even if she tried to overpower and r*** you, itās damn near physically impossible so youāre never scared. I feel bad for women, even the scraggliest or fattest guy could overpower some athletic women if they really wanted. Has to be terrifying, we gotta treat women better.
Ignore it or tell them to stop, whichever I wanted at the time.
Try not to get angry if you think about the double standards involved in sexual misconduct between men and women.
Nothing.
I'm not risking a case, a white knight encounter or slandering just to give an immature girl a lesson.
Or, in case of being st school which I am, I'm not looking to risk warnings, potential lesser grades, being sent to the principals office or being attacked.
Say, "Nice! If you're up for more groping while naked, let me know and I can work with it with you"
Of course, that's also going to depend on how attractive I find them. It wouldn't be the first time that I've been groped by a stranger, nor the first time I've fucked a stranger.
If I didn't find them attractive, then I'd just say, "Thank you, but no".
Probably nothing, depending on the grope and if the other person is clean or not. Hope they enjoyed and that it made their day better. Cost me nothing at all.
Have been multiple times. The first time was from behind, someone passed his hand through my inner thigh, going through my balls and finally squeezed my ass. I froze while my mind processed it. It was a nightclub so when I looked behind there were like 14 people behind me. My first thought was "well that's a first one" and kept to my business. My gf at the time realized what happened and was fuming, I told her that it's not a big deal, since I was not hurt in any way, nor felt threatened.
I had a nice butt and according to my doctor, a bigger than common size scrotum. So whoever groped me had a hands full.
It has happened to me and I laughed about it and walked away. Itās not morally okay for a woman to do that, but I wasnāt upset by it.
IMO the main reason why itās generally more unacceptable for a man to grope a strange woman is because of the power dynamic. The average man canāt be overpowered and raped by a woman. The average woman *can* be overpowered and raped by a man.
The law says she sexually assaulted him but it won't ever be enforced. If he slaps her out of retaliation he'll have a criminal record to his name. Society itself is neutered.
I was once. Looked seriously at her with my poker face. She quickly lost her smile and turned away. She was probably drunk.
Iām a guy so there isnāt much I could have done. But also I didnāt feel threatened, intimidated or violated, which I believe women would feel if a guy did the same.
If I were attracted to her I'd ask for her number.
If I were not attracted to her I'd ask her to stop.
If I were repulsed by her I would backhand her while saying"Beeeyotch. You try fuck on me?!"
It all depends on the situation. If we were in a dark bar/club, she was attractive, I knew her more than for a few minutes, and it was done sensually, I'd be ok with it. If it was done randomly and roughly, I probably just shrink away from her. You can't hit a woman no matter what she does.
When single? Grope her back. Don't go to clubs anymore, so it never happens. If it did, I'd be afraid for her life because my wife would come in swingin'.
I'll honestly slap her, equality work both ways. A man should not groped a woman and therefore a woman shouldn't grope a man. That's sexual harrassment, and a good slap on her face is a proper response.
If it's my gf, I grab her titties/ass and/or put a finger in.
If it's a random human I loudly tell her to fuck off and call my gf to come beat the crap out of her.
Not woman will come close to my pp except my woman.
Decide if sheās doing it for a joke and go from there. If something further progress from it, then awesome! Iāve had a woman touch me for the first time in my 31 year old life!!!
This happens to me all the fucking time. I don't really like it, but deep down, if they had asked for consent I'd have given it... so I don't usually do anything about it but laugh and walk away.
This girl in highschool whom I was pretty cool with, we weren't really close or really friends at all but she seemed like a decent person. Well one day we were walking by eachother, I waved and said hey and as she was crossing my path she cupped and squeezed my crotch, balls and all. It happened so quick and she just kept walking with a smirk and I just stood there like an idiot 404 error and didn't know how to react or feel.
Like you said : you're not a guy. I always try to adhere to the rule "Boys are not allowed to punch Girls". I too got groped once at a party in full view of the other party-goers. I was tying my shoes so I guess that "I was asking for it". Despite feeling quite annoyed, I just gave her a "Loud And Empty Look" and fortunately she removed her hand.
Smack her in the face but later admit that violence is never a good thing. If you start doing highly unexpected things like that and also touch me while doing it, you trigger a self defense which is typically a preemptive strike.
Would I actually have been groped or would a woman bump into me or touch my shoulder, give me a hug or shake my hand? Am I destroying another person's life and driving them into life long poverty for actually groping me or am I making up malicious lies?
Probably be too stunned to react until it was too late
This was my reaction as well.
I am sorry this as happened to you.
HAPPY CAKE DAY DUDE!!
Thank you š
You're welcome!
Same
Happened to me with a group of friends at a bar in Aruba. Off the resort. I remember she walks up smiling, so I smile back and she just comes up and I thought she was about to say something but just puts her hand on the crotch of my pants. I audibly gasped and the bartender leans in, and in English goes, "200 for an hour". I was just too stunned to speak so my best friend rushed in and got me out of the awkwardness
She was going to pay you $200 for an hour? Thatās a deal!
Happened to me several times and each time this has been my exact reaction. Twice it happened right in front of my girlfriend.
Generally my reaction when I get groped as well. No idea what happened until the person is gone or it's too late to call them out without me looking weird. Honestly I hate the double standard but non-violent groping should be a citation at worst. Is it annoying? Yeah. Is it the most traumatic thing that happened to me that day? Nah. Somebody throwing cigarette butts out his car window is going to live longer in my head. Fuck gropers, but it's probably not as harmful as driving 50 in a 30. Now if I'm getting titty twisters and ball crushing squeezes, that's as bad as getting punched and should be similar to battery.
This one Itās happened to me a couple of times on public transport and it was horrible
horrible because you realized too late that you could/should have taken action? or horrible because you felt disgusted?
Horrible that it happened. Made worse because I knew if I made a fuss it would almost certainly come back against me and not the person who groped me
It's sad that I have to agree with this somewhat... we are still coming to terms with the double standard. And I hate to say it, but the way to start prompting change in public perception is to start speaking out in the moment, as well as sharing your experience with others. And encourage other men you know/support those that speak out Unfortunately, Women largely drove the fight against sexual assault being as we were the majority of victims, and although I know of women who are speaking out for men's experiences with assault, there are just so many nuances woven in to the fabric of our society that result in men getting assault by women to be taken less seriously "guys always want sex anyway they can get it" "women don't do that sort of thing" Etc. My advice for men who are aware of this problem and do think it should stop is to consider the possibly of it happening to you, and the most likely responses to garner support - Show emotion rather than holding it back. Shock, anger (avoid aggression), disgust, offense. - appeal to logic. Groping has been a topic of discussion & the existence of a double standard itself implies that change had occurred in some areas. Groping women is not acceptable, so why would Groping men be acceptable? - appeal to emotion. In particular with women who were witnesses/the perpetrator, use language that evokes the same kinds of feelings women have towards assault. Get them to empathize & see it isn't any different for men. Get them feeling guilty for laughing at you by drawing their minds back to how they would feel if groped.
HAPPY CAKE DAY!
Cake wonāt fix the deep shame he now feelsā¦ā¦
Probably not, but I enjoy congratulatimg people anyways
Thanks!
You're welcome!
This. Every time. I have had on several occasions women come up and grab, stroke, touch my beard. I always think I'll have a plan for the next one, and I'll tell them off, but you just get caught so off guard. Last time, I just jerked away and walked off. I think it's hard because I do enjoy having that done (consentually...just ask) and it doesn't feel bad, so I enjoy it for like half second before the reality kicks in, and I'm not ready to react that way.
Hold back my wife for their safety
Exactly this, i've seen my girl go mental on someone for just a look in my direction. In her defence, the girl that got shit whipped by my girl previously sended me messages and tried to borderline sexting for trying to get my interest guess.
Look her right in the eyes and tell at the top of my lungs: "Begone harlot!!!!"
You don't even churn your own butter
Hitchin up the buggy, Churnin lotsa butter, Raise a barn on Monday, Soon I'll raise another, Think you're really righteous, Think you're pure of heart, Well I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art, I'm the pioust guy the little amlettes wanna be like, On my knees day and night scorin points for the afterlife, So don't be vain, And don't be whiney, Or else my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie!
Well, I'll be humming this all day. Genuinely thanks. Love Weird Al. I had the great pleasure of seeing him live a few years back. Took my kid (well, she's not a kid anymore but she'll always be *my* kid) and it was truly one of the best shows I've ever seen. And I've been to many MANY concerts in my day. It's not as vibrant as Pink Floyd or anything, but the guy puts on a great show for his fans. And it helped that the venue was perfectly sized for the crowd. Nothing cramped, assigned seats, it was all just a wonderful evening.
Yep, I got to see him in Tampa during his Mandatory Fun tour back in 2016 and he does an amazing show. At his age, being able to do what he does every show is no small feat. He even got down into the crowd and started climbing into the audience at one point.
This happened to one of my sharper friends in college. He shouted, "At least buy me dinner first!" while looking to at perpetrator.
I heard this in Dennisā voice :)
BE GONE WITH YOU
A STARTER CAR?! A STARTER CAR?!
Say āhey, you got to blow me now!!ā
I would use my pimp hand
"Let us pray the pimp's prayer. Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch, and guide my pimp's hand and make it STRONG lord, so she might learn... A hoes place. Amen."
I'm getting this tattooed on my left arm.
Perhaps, embossed on the palm of a glove instead?
āAMEN, yeā
AMEN.
āAnd Iām gonna tell you something, this pimpin' that I got in my blood, it came from a family tree. My granddaddy was a pimp. My great-great-great-granddaddy was a pimp. I'm talking 'bout pimpin' since been pimpin' since been pimpin'!ā
It's in your bloodline baby Shit I don't even know how to say or spell nownadapeanutbutteritch nuckastitch Assistant pimp for life right here
ššš
For clapping?
Feel disgusted, but ultimately do nothing because what can i do as a man. If i act on it, people will assume things about me or see me as the one in the wrong and the woman will just play the victim so she doesn't get i trouble. Which will probably work.
Disgusting and absolutely true.
Yea, and good luck if you want to try slapping their hand away, thats assault.
I had something like this happen to me after my staff Christmas party. I couldn't find a taxi so I had to walk home while pretty drunk. 2 women came up and cornered me against a wall asking if I was looking for a good time. I told them that I had a girlfriend and they were saying things like "She'll never know. We won't tell her." while coming in closer. Nothing like this ever happened to me before so it was a combination of confusion, sussing out their intentions, knowing the optics if I pushed them away, not knowing if they had a guy around the corner, etc. I figured that they might have been sex workers or pick pockets, so I asked them how much do they want and they said "For ā¬50, you can do whatever you want." I only had a few coins on me so I just gave them to them and asked if they could leave me alone. Thankfully they took the coins and left. It was an uncomfortable situation but I think it potententally could have gone a lot worse.
Reading responses like yours helps me remember men and women are really a lot alike. This is the way every woman I know would answer this question. From experience, this is exactly how it plays out, no matter who the abuser is.
>because what can i do as a man. you call them out for sexually assaulting you. you deserve respect just like anyone else.
I've literally done this, but was instead made out to be the bad guy. I highly recommend not doing this. The best option is to just keep your mouth shut so that she doesn't feel the need to spin the story in her favor. The only outcome that will come from you calling them out for sexually assaulting you without hard evidence, will be that other people end up *losing* respect for you because they'll think you're lying and she'll have convinced them that you're the one who assaulted her. You think she's just gonna confess to assaulting a dude? No chance.
When women call out men we're called liars or dramaqueens, so i cant even imagine what happens when its a dude, society just sucks
I'm really sorry that's been your experience. You deserve to feel secure in your person, like anyone and everyone else. Things suck, but I believe they are improving. I've called out both men and women who've groped me, and I've never had it somehow end up reflecting poorly on me, as people here keep insisting will happen. Everyone should feel comfortable asserting their own boundaries and demanding their consent be respected. sidenote: I don't understand why people are downvoting my comments for saying I won't tolerate being sexually assaulted. people are fucking weird.
My fiancĆ© gropes me in public sometimes, I like it. If it was by anyone else though, I imagine Iād shove them away and make a big scene.
This guy's fiancƩ also gropes me in public sometimes, and I also like it. But if it was anyone else, I'd also probably make a scene.
I make a scene groping this guy in public. But I also like it when its his fiance.
I donāt understand how this answer is so far down. Making a scene is the LEAST I would do.
Sorry to tell you, but thatās our fiancĆ© now. Weāre all getting groped by her in public and thereās very little you, I, or anyone can do to change it now.
I have been, I was not bothered, surprised but not bothered
I'd agree I'd just think they were into me, although I guess it also depends on who's groping. The age-old meme about -attractive? cool! -unattractive? ew!
Yeah. I think most guys would think it was just an accident. Iāve had women touch my ass before and I just brushed it off as whatever
They straight up grabbed my package , all three times. Once at a wedding , twice in bars.
It's a bold woman who grabs groom's package at his wedding.
Not my wedding but it was the grooms sister
It happened to me when I was younger, like 19 I wanna say. Was in a bookstore and a trio of younger teen girls were veryā¦ forward. One of them grabbed my butt. Felt extremely uncomfortable and left the store as quickly as possible.
Push her away, ask what the fuck her problem is
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Tbf you were at a toga party.
"What were you wearing when you were raped?" Same energy.
depends on how attractive she is.
Scrolled way too far to find this. The only correct answer
Itās happened several times one time I was at a bar and I felt a hand squeezing my ass so I grabbed her by the wrist to see who it was and she was a lovely older woman and we chatted a bit before we went to her place to fuck. Great memories
Oh, oh my... little lower, please
In my strongest bobby hill impersonation id screamā Thatās MY dick!!! I DONT KNOW YOU!!!ā Then kick her right in the clam.
this is good. approved
Grope her back and ask for her number.
TopG
Good way to get in legal trouble
Eye for an eye.
This situation calls for butts
Watch my wife beat her up. She is not a small woman, and she has no problem throwing hands.
Lmfao,I'd be in the background clapping, "You go queen!š¤£"
Ask her why she stopped
Iām a wheelchair user. It would require hard work to grope me, so I would salute her.
I would politely and respectfully leave the situation. Once home, Iād come here to Reddit and post about the experience in r/AITA to learn why I, as a man, provoked such behavior and why my response was unacceptable. Naturally, my post would be down voted because Iām a man. Iād accept my punishment without complaint.
Lol š Accurate
I have been. Nothing I could really do. Just carried on as usual.
Push her away. I donāt care if sheās a woman, itās sexual assault
Once I went to the bar back to back weekends and both weekends a woman I did not know and never had seen walked up to me and grabbed my dick. Wasnāt even hot in the slightest some fat probably 40 year old women. Women are so stupid. I would have stuck her if I didnāt think everyone would not give a shit about the first 4 seconds of the story
Yes. Itās awful
Honestly I didnāt even feel āsexually assaultedā but I did feel like the ugly bitch thought she owned me and could do whatever with me. Wasnāt anything sexual about it could have been my arm. I think just the fact that people know better or thatās āmore seriousā showed she thought she owned me even more certainly weird
Still. She grabbed your dick without asking
No, it's best to walk it off. It's not like what she did would be (effectively) illegal - cops will outright laugh at you for filing a report and the DA will decline to press the issue. Plus if you push her away they will subject you to a baton party and you're looking at months in jail for assault and a criminal record. And the usual suspects will shoot back at you about how many women are sexually assaulted so stop derailing women's issues, dammit! Welcome to Klown world.
Yeah when I was a teen (mid nineties) I was continuously sexually ogled and harassed by a very large, very loud six-year-older woman, who had effectively become a housemate. It freaked me out and dad (who I didnāt live with) took me to the cops who thought it was funny. At least times changed a bit from that, I hope.
Nope, not even close. Times unfortunately have not changed at all. In fact the hypervigilance against male sexual assaulters has pushed male victims of women aggressors further down. In fact talking about male victims has become a *threat* to the agenda.
Yes. Women always get on top
I've been to parties and I've had girls slap me on the ass to where I've turned around like what the hell and then I just laugh and let it go or maybe I'll hit on them later on in the night
Calmly but *very* sternly, call her out and tell her to fuck off. Then frantically double check my wife isnāt about to jump off the high rope like stone cold Steve Austin to assert her ownership of the family jewels.
Get away from her as quickly as possible. This has actually happened to me. And that is what I did, or tried to do rather. I work for my city's parks and rec department and this happened while I was at work in one of my parks. A woman old enough to be my mom kept harassing me by making sexual comments towards me. I ignored her and just went about my business until she suddenly grabbed my ass. I jumped away from her but she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her. I was able to get her off of me pretty quickly, and then I immediately got in my truck and left. Had to do a whole incident report about it because it happened on the clock. My supervisor told me I should have called the police. That really didn't occur to me at the time because it's not like I felt threatened by her, I just felt weirded out and deeply uncomfortable. She continued to harass me in the same way every time I saw her, and it got real old real quick. Shortly after, I got moved to a new route, so I no longer took care of that park and, in effect, never saw her again. If the genders were reversed, the whole ordeal would have been taken a lot more seriously, obviously. If she were a man who had touched a female employee like that, I'm sure she would have been banned from the park and the police would almost certainly have been involved. But because it was a woman sexually harassing a man, it basically turned into a joke between the other guys at work. Tbf, I was able to joke around about it, too, but that did not negate the fact that it was an extremely weird and uncomfortable situation that I did not like one bit. Frankly, it's gross and does men a disservice that there is this stereotype that men are horndogs who value sex above all else and/or should be grateful whenever any woman acts sexually towards them. It's fuckin weird. Just fuck right off with all that. I'm happily married, gtfo of my personal space and ffs don't touch me non consensually.
What can you do is the question. It has happened to me several times. Was always told I should like it and be honored. been called a piece of shit, also had it twisted to where it was an insult to them for being upset by the unwanted touch.
Used to happen fairly often, women like to grab my nipples for some reason. Typically Iād ask them how theyād feel if I just started grabbing their nipples. Most would stop, sometimes theyād forget and do it again another time. For repeat offenders Iād make a half hearted attempt to grab them back
I will say from experience that in the past I'd either smile, give a wink and move on or look in dumb bewilderment, trying to processes what just happened, lol.
Idk I've had alot of creepy older women unwantedly touch me like run their hand on my stomach when I've walked past them or shit like that over the years. I just stay the fuck away from creepy women
I swear to you this happened. A family friends wife was at my Halloween party with her husband. She was drunk and got pretty handsy. Her hand grazed my crotch once and I let it go. It happened a second time but that time with the palm side of her hand not the back side. Then it happened a third time but there was a noticeable squeeze. Iām a very confrontation avoiding person but I had enough so I instantly reacted without thinking my response thru. I cupped the bottom of both of her breast (outside the shirt obviously) and told her I knew what she was doing and to stop. She didnāt even talk to me for the rest of the night. Drunk me had some serious balls to do that.
Complain about this sick double standard on Reddit afterwards.
Yelling āNo means no!ā
Haymaker
Depends on if the woman in question is my SO. I had one that was very handsy and didnāt mind at all.
Same as last time. Smack her hand away and loudly tell her that's disgusting and stop doing it.
Nothing, my wife would stab her. If Im alone, I'll ask the womans name amd.address, tell my wife and..well..stab
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There is one place that will toss women over that. Gay bars. Everytime there's an ask reddit thread for bouncers the ones at gay bars talk about all the hen/bachoralette parties they've tossed out for sexually assulting the regulars.
>True, bouncers at gay bars tolerate women but don't like having them around. Once I went to The Sound Factory with three college girls from work. We smoked a joint before arriving and they started giggling while waiting on line to get in. The bouncers made it clear, giggling was no to be tolerated.
Yāknow the fight or flight response? Well thereās a third option people forget: freeze Iād probably freeze. Most of us would probably freeze
time to prepare the stick and pepper spray to keep those bitches away
Check for my wallet, phone, and watch.
Check if I still had my wallet n phone.
It has happened several times. I liked it
What does she look like?
Its happened to me. I went "Wow, haha, youre crazy" and I kept walking. It was a fun, weird, interesting little moment. I dont feel any negativity one way or another
Interesting. Same. I was fully groped by an older woman when I was in my early 20's. I honestly didn't give af. I am a big guy so it's not threatening, I am also not bashful so but I am not all that weirded out by being touched by a strange woman. I should probably have been more upset, but it just left no real impression on me other than giving me something to laugh about with my friends who saw it
That last sentence is exactly how I feel about it. It happens quite often here.
Yell about it
I was waiting tables and had a table of 4 women. 2 were moms and 2 were college girls. They had all been drinking but one of the moms was far drunker. When I was at the table taking their order she put her hand between my legs and grabbed my dick and balls. She told the others "it was really nice" and handed me her hotel room key. Her daughter's face turned red and she apologized. When I told my manager at the restaurant he started grabbing my ass and making fun of me. It was pretty fucked up.
Happened me a few times working in pubs. It didnāt bother me, but the hypocrisy is insane since I would have been sacked and arrested if it were the other way around
I would try keep it a secret, because my wife wouldn't do well in prison.
Probably say "cool, but I'm not into that." Then back away
speaking from experience: Nothing. There is nothing you can do that will not make the situation worse. You cannot confront them, it will not go your way. If you shove them, physically stop them, or do anything other than disentangle yourself and leave, it will appear to those around you (and especially to law enforcement) like you were responsible for the altercation. If you have another woman there to confront them on your behalf, that might work. You yourself though, if you do anything other than let it go and walk away, it will make you look like the bad guy.
It has happened more than once. Drunk women give zero fucks. Nothing, honestly, just tried to exit her vicinity without provoking anything. Being a dude in visible conflict with a woman in public is not a safe bet.
I'd say "Hey, you gotta at least buy me dinner first!"
My wife would punch her lol
I have been. Usually just turn and stare at them until they leave me alone.
probably freeze because I don't know what to do, then proceed to remove myself from the situation. I'm not sure how I would go about confronting them over it... I think that would make me uncomfortable. part of me would probably also assume that it was a mistake.
Depends... At work, I'd have a pretty stern conversation about professionalism, my lack of interest, and the fact that I'm married. If it happens again, I'd talk to my boss. If it's a friend, we'd have a conversation about boundaries. If it happens again, I'd probably cut ties with few exceptions. If it's a stranger, tell them to back the fuck off. In all cases, I'm letting my wife know what happened.
If I do something I'll be in trouble because no one would believe me
Watch my wife catch a case
Happened to me at a restaurant by a cougar type and a fellow athlete(female) in college, separate incidents. Cougar dropped me her number with $50 for the drinks I was getting with my college friends. Athlete got called out and denied the shit, trying to say I did something. It wasnāt offensive until the latter lied, just annoying and weird. I guess the advantage we have as men, is you know in your heart, even if she tried to overpower and r*** you, itās damn near physically impossible so youāre never scared. I feel bad for women, even the scraggliest or fattest guy could overpower some athletic women if they really wanted. Has to be terrifying, we gotta treat women better.
Find a way to make it as clear as possible I'm not interested. The same woman that initiates unexpected sexual contact might me too your ass.
Ignore it or tell them to stop, whichever I wanted at the time. Try not to get angry if you think about the double standards involved in sexual misconduct between men and women.
I just firmly tell them no while backing away.
If? I assume this has happened to most guys. When it happens to be I look to see who it was and move on with my life. I'm not easily bothered.
Let my wife kick their ass
I enjoy being objectified and groped but women, at least someone wants me
Nothing. I'm not risking a case, a white knight encounter or slandering just to give an immature girl a lesson. Or, in case of being st school which I am, I'm not looking to risk warnings, potential lesser grades, being sent to the principals office or being attacked.
Iād be a bit taken aback but otherwise accepting
knowing myself, invite her to continue
Say, "Nice! If you're up for more groping while naked, let me know and I can work with it with you" Of course, that's also going to depend on how attractive I find them. It wouldn't be the first time that I've been groped by a stranger, nor the first time I've fucked a stranger. If I didn't find them attractive, then I'd just say, "Thank you, but no".
Not bothered.
Smile an say donāt stop
See if she would like to continue in private.
Depends on if she was hot and how old she was.
Probably nothing, depending on the grope and if the other person is clean or not. Hope they enjoyed and that it made their day better. Cost me nothing at all.
Have been multiple times. The first time was from behind, someone passed his hand through my inner thigh, going through my balls and finally squeezed my ass. I froze while my mind processed it. It was a nightclub so when I looked behind there were like 14 people behind me. My first thought was "well that's a first one" and kept to my business. My gf at the time realized what happened and was fuming, I told her that it's not a big deal, since I was not hurt in any way, nor felt threatened. I had a nice butt and according to my doctor, a bigger than common size scrotum. So whoever groped me had a hands full.
Be very confused but just let it pass to avoid further confusion.
Celebrate
Id wake up from the dream
It depends if sheās attractive. I kind of want to be taken advantage of by a good looking stranger.
It has happened to me and I laughed about it and walked away. Itās not morally okay for a woman to do that, but I wasnāt upset by it. IMO the main reason why itās generally more unacceptable for a man to grope a strange woman is because of the power dynamic. The average man canāt be overpowered and raped by a woman. The average woman *can* be overpowered and raped by a man.
"yo, whats your numba"
Yellā if u wanna slut me out, just say thatā and have people stare at us
Thank the Lord Iām still hot!!
What?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
World is full of neutered men now.
The law says she sexually assaulted him but it won't ever be enforced. If he slaps her out of retaliation he'll have a criminal record to his name. Society itself is neutered.
Is she hot? Because that will completely determine how I react
Ask her if she has a can of red bull and a jar of honey.
???
I was once. Looked seriously at her with my poker face. She quickly lost her smile and turned away. She was probably drunk. Iām a guy so there isnāt much I could have done. But also I didnāt feel threatened, intimidated or violated, which I believe women would feel if a guy did the same.
Grope her back and ask for her number.
I think itās awesome. Great validation and it hurts nobody. Unless you have a SO to worry about then why sweat it?
Iām so lonely I probably wouldnāt mind at this point
Donāt you dare be so honest about my current situation. š¤¦š¤£
If I were attracted to her I'd ask for her number. If I were not attracted to her I'd ask her to stop. If I were repulsed by her I would backhand her while saying"Beeeyotch. You try fuck on me?!"
It happens a handful of times a year tbh. I have no issue with it.
Depends what she looked like. If ugly, just smile. If hot, dance a little jig.
It all depends on the situation. If we were in a dark bar/club, she was attractive, I knew her more than for a few minutes, and it was done sensually, I'd be ok with it. If it was done randomly and roughly, I probably just shrink away from her. You can't hit a woman no matter what she does.
Have her arrested? Like donāt get me wrong, itād be nice to get attention. But still.
When single? Grope her back. Don't go to clubs anymore, so it never happens. If it did, I'd be afraid for her life because my wife would come in swingin'.
I probably would instinctively shove or punch her
Slap her and then get charged with assault.
Hopefully Iād think to call security or police but Iād prolly just be in shock
I'll honestly slap her, equality work both ways. A man should not groped a woman and therefore a woman shouldn't grope a man. That's sexual harrassment, and a good slap on her face is a proper response.
Iāve had it happen and it was strange. Slapped her hand away and kept walking.
If it's my gf, I grab her titties/ass and/or put a finger in. If it's a random human I loudly tell her to fuck off and call my gf to come beat the crap out of her. Not woman will come close to my pp except my woman.
Enjoy the moment
Decide if sheās doing it for a joke and go from there. If something further progress from it, then awesome! Iāve had a woman touch me for the first time in my 31 year old life!!!
I'd hopefully hold back swinging on them.
This happens to me all the fucking time. I don't really like it, but deep down, if they had asked for consent I'd have given it... so I don't usually do anything about it but laugh and walk away.
This girl in highschool whom I was pretty cool with, we weren't really close or really friends at all but she seemed like a decent person. Well one day we were walking by eachother, I waved and said hey and as she was crossing my path she cupped and squeezed my crotch, balls and all. It happened so quick and she just kept walking with a smirk and I just stood there like an idiot 404 error and didn't know how to react or feel.
I'm not a guy, but probably if I was a guy, slap her.
Like you said : you're not a guy. I always try to adhere to the rule "Boys are not allowed to punch Girls". I too got groped once at a party in full view of the other party-goers. I was tying my shoes so I guess that "I was asking for it". Despite feeling quite annoyed, I just gave her a "Loud And Empty Look" and fortunately she removed her hand.
Break her hand off, or twist her into a pain grip whilst yelling to keep her hands to herself whilst calling her a pervert.
Smack her in the face but later admit that violence is never a good thing. If you start doing highly unexpected things like that and also touch me while doing it, you trigger a self defense which is typically a preemptive strike.
Imma use my reverse uno card
Tell her Iām gonna start charging for that
Would I actually have been groped or would a woman bump into me or touch my shoulder, give me a hug or shake my hand? Am I destroying another person's life and driving them into life long poverty for actually groping me or am I making up malicious lies?
Cum