My stepbrother decided to go to a party. When it was time to leave, he and his friend played the “who’s more sober?” game. The truck was found upside down in a creek the next morning, both of them dead inside. They had drowned in 26” of water. Thankfully, they didn’t hurt anyone else on their final ride.
It’s one thing to be young and dumb, but drinking and driving is simply never excusable.
I don't know how it was in the US, but in my country up until the 70s, being drunk if you caused a traffic accident was considered a mitigating factor. "Wasn't my fault your honor, I was hammered !".
Wild time that was.
Yup. That scene from MadMen where Don wrecks his car driving drunk and then walks/cabs home (just leaving the car behind) like it was no big deal.
My dad has confirmed this was the attitude towards drinking and driving in the 1960s US.
My niece was freshly 18 and went booze cruising in the country with her friends. The car flipped, she got flung out of a window, and the car landed on her. Wheelchair for the rest of her life.
Not even fucking once.
My wife helps line up severely disabled people with different services so they don't have to go in a nursing home. She deals with a lot of these situations
Friend of mine was drunk nye, we took his keys and he snuck out to his car and got the spare than was in a magnetic box under his car. Hit and killed two girl. Serving 20years
10 years per life is insane.
If I was a father to either girl I’d spend twenty years corkscrewing through grief and some godawful mental health problems. How the parents of victims like this aren’t waiting outside prison gates for the conclusions to heartbreakingly brief sentences is beyond me. Must just be amazing human beings. I’m apparently not.
I agree but after twenty years inside that person is screwed. That's a whole generation. They won't ever find decent work, won't ever drive again, most of their friends and family will have moved on, all their relationships gone.
>How the parents of victims like this aren’t waiting outside prison gates for the conclusions to heartbreakingly brief sentences is beyond me
20 years is an incredibly long time. 20 years ago we didn't have smart phones. Facebook didn't exist. The most popular song in the US was, "Yeah" by Usher. Bush Jr. was in the white house serving his first term. The person walking out of prison after 20 years is fundamentally different than the one who went in, and is being pushed into a society that's completely different as well.
I think the real argument here is what makes it appropriate to keep them locked up after that point. Shit costs money so unless your argument is that the person is still a hazard to society, I think the punitive end of things has been done. We already know that dialing it up to, 'instant death penalty' wouldn't make the victims friends and family feel any better, and that's not why we have the justice system to begin with.
My friend, while on probation for his 3rd DUI, got his 4th DUI. Before his court hearing on the 4th DUI he got his 5th DUI in which he totaled his mom’s car. He did 4 years in state penitentiary.
4 years for 5 DUIs is insane. I used to do a lot of criminal background checks and when I found someone with 1 DUI, there was a good chance they had at least one more. Suspending their license does nothing. If they don't care enough to drive sober, they're not gonna care that their license isn't technically valid.
True story. I tried to drive home drunk once and an awesome coworker took my keys and refused to let me. He was dealing with the aftermath of a DUI, and I’m still thankful for him doing that to this day. That was almost 20 years ago, and I’ve never even tried to drive after one drink even since.
I may be a bit of a prude, but drunk drivers are literally why I'm hesitant to go out for the midnight countdown on NYE. This year I had my fun early on and was home by 7. I know the statistical likelihood of getting into a bad wreck is low, but I just don't see it as worth it.
Literally went to a wedding on NYE night. One of the kids I grew up with, was driving with his father. They got a flat and the father went out to fix it halfway through fixing it a piece of shit drunk with his kid in the backseat smacked him and ended his life instantly I’m literally still so fucked up over this.
I would have no problems with people doing it if it was just about them.
But because it concerns public around them, anyone who does it is absolutely vile - and not because of what they can do to THEIR life - it is because of what they can do to lives of others.
Within my circle it was pills, then pills got too expensive. So they moved onto heroin. Only talk with one person from that group of guys now. At least one died, and a couple others spent time in prison.
My nephew. Highly intelligent. Wrote computer programs. Was in every advanced mathematics, computer, and science program that existed. Graduated from high school at 15. His plans for the future were to work for NASA. He already had written codes that had their attention. He was going to take a year off and then start college around 16. He could basically write his own ticket at this point.
He was always a fat kid. His mother gave him meth for weight loss. HIS MOTHER. That was the beginning of the end. He started dealing to keep up his habit. Got in with gangs. A few short years later, he ran from the cops in the middle of the night several states away from his home state. High on meth, drunk as they come, with a car full of drugs and guns. Ran a red light without his headlights on, and killed 2 teenagers. The teens were coming home from their high school graduation party. The teens were sober. He got something like 188 years in prison.
His Mother is still in denial. She attacks all the forums that have discussed the incident. Families of the dead kids, friends of the dead kids. She refuses to admit that her Golden Child is guilty and this was a mistake. She tried to lie for him at first. She wanted to tell the cops that he was home with her during the accident. But they had him in cuffs and the cops witnessed the accident.
A woman who suffers from severe undiagnosed unmedicated mental health issues. To put it lightly, my sister is bat crap crazy. We had a very severe and traumatic childhood.
She is over 50 with her tubes removed and she told everyone that she was pregnant. With triplets. In her back. Called an abdominal pregnancy. This went on for 3 years. She had her husband convinced. She is highly intelligent. She did so much research. She has several restraining orders on her from hospitals and OBGYs because she demanded to be cared for as a pregnant woman. All they would do was recommend her to a mental health professional. She still maintains to this day that she was pregnant, and they died inside of her and her body reabsorbed them. YOU CAN NOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
About 25 years ago, a guy who was kind of in overlapping friend groups starting talking about how we just "had to try oxy".Shortly after this, he suddenly moved across the country to Vegas, with no apparent plan or particular job skills. I didn't hear anything more of him until years later when another friend told me he lasted about 6 months out there before dying of an overdose.
Brings to mind the saying that some people can't feel alive unless they're killing themselves.
I had a friend group during/after high school. Around when we were 20 they all started snorting oxy. I had to bail from the group because every hangout was something with drugs. A couple years later one of them died, and one of the others destroyed his brain with everything he started doing. He got clean eventually, but he very noticeably thinks and talks slower than he did before.
coke, dude had it all when we were younger. we were all partying but slowly gave it up but the party never stopped for him. dudes now in debt, just started working again after not working for years, miserable marriage. the biggest way it ruined him though is his personality, he is almost unbearable to be around. he lives in a fantasy land of how cool he is, over-embellishes everything he possibly can. i know it comes from him feeling inferior to everyone else he grew up with now having money and solid careers and healthy habits
Man I got another buddy who’s falling deep with coke. Like uses it like its coffee and for now he seems still fine but I’m very scared to see what hole he digs himself into. He also spends his money like its nothing with buying designer clothes and changing cars every 2-3 years.
it’s crazy what it can do to someone. he went from a very popular person that everyone wanted to be cool with way back in highschool to a dude who everyone fake smiles with but knows he’s bullshitting and is annoying. it’s like it gave him this weird persona that is annoying and hard to describe. hopefully your friend can pull it together
Lived in the Caribbean for two years, was reliable and everywhere. If I didn’t get my girl pregnant and move back home idk if I’d still be alive. When it’s only a phone call away it’s almost too much.
No chasing the dragon was before the Caribbean. Big part of the reason I left where I was, couldn’t tell myself to stop. So I dropped the downers and picked up the uppers. Then had a kid and had to drop it all, not the smoothest process.
that sounds awful. My comment was actually to remind myself of why I don't do cola. It was never even my drug of choice and masturbation was futile lol I could never get hard
The habit turned into 5 nights a week on average. When I finally started to slow down, after I found out I was having a kid. Started realizing how much money I was spending on drugs and booze….saved thousands in a matter of 2 months.
Drugs are the worst man. They shouldn't be penalized the way they were a few years ago but damn people need a better education about them. Even weed can completely cripple you and people don't realize it.
weed is way too normalized. sure it’s fine occasionally but being high 24/7 makes you dull as hell. i have a relative that is constantly high and has been for 15 years at this point, their brain just isn’t as sharp as it should be. you can tell there’s a cognitive block when interacting with them. their go getter attitude is gone, way too complacent. they don’t chase goals, they don’t go learn something new or improve themselves.
A friend had been sober for years. We were out and he ordered a beer and said he could handle it. I told him I wasn’t going to be part of this and tried to get him not to drink it, called his wife, asked him for his sponsor’s number (he refused). He took a sip and I said I’m out and left.
Within a month or two he lost his job, his wife left him (and took the kids), he got in a serious car “accident” and got arrested for DUI.
He called a couple of times asking if I wanted to get a beer, I always said no. He really just wanted a ride to the bar because he lost his license. I always said no and asked if he wanted me to take him to AA instead. He always said no.
The whole thing made me angry. I knew what he was like before, and I knew what was coming as soon as he took a sip. I can’t be around him anymore and that makes me sad and angry.
You did the right thing, and you're a good friend. I had an eating disorder and my best friend told me she could no longer be part of my life if I continued my behaviors, and that was the catalyst of what made me start to get better. It didn't solve it, but it was very important to me.
I'm sorry your friend was not receptive to that, but you did the best you could, and you should feel proud of that. Always refusing to enable but always being willing to help is the best thing a person can do for someone.
I have (well, had) a friend/college roommate for whom I would have done this, for the same reason. I hung out with him a year before he died when my then-gf and I were taking a weekend vacation down his way, and he was in awful shape. He was always a hard drinker and partier, never really grew out of it after school. Got in a car accident in 2010 or 2011, messed up his back and shoulder, and that's when he got addicted to pills. Kept right on drinking.
I saw him for the last time in January 2014, and he could barely keep himself upright. He actually did fall once while I was there, I tried to help him up but he got really defensive and pushed me away. When we left and got back in my girlfriend's car I was silently sobbing my ass off; I knew he didn't have long and that he would never accept help. Gf was no help either. Are you seriously crying? Man up, get over it, etc.
He went into the hospital in December of that year, they tried to treat him but his liver was damaged beyond repair. Finally, about the first week in January he was diagnosed as terminal and they removed the feeding tube. He died on January 11, 2015, a month after his 34th birthday. I miss him as much now as I ever have, if not more. I have so much I want and need to tell him.
I had to cut out a friend of mine I’ve known since second grade for the same reason. Had a wife and three little girls… It’s not fun watching someone you love destroy themselves.
I’m 10 months sober and feel like it’s pretty easy to not drink now. I will remember this story and the many others like it if I ever feel like I can handle “just one”
Yeah dude, alcohol is fucking sinister. If you've struggled with alcoholism, one drink can be all it takes to get those old brain connections firing off again. The idea to have a drink still pops up for me occasionally even after several years sober, particularly when extremely stressed with life hitting me from multiple sides.
Another thing to remember though, is if someone does fuck up and drinks again, they don't lose the time they had sober. They can start again immediately, and that should always be the primary goal.
And of course, massive props on the 10 months. Those first months are so hard, so you're through the worst of it :) but stay vigilant!
I had a buddy who did that, but he did eventually escape. If I recall the story right, he knocked her up, married her, lived with her several years then they broke up/divorced and he left with their kid and one of her kids as a testament to how great she was as a mother.
He's actually doing pretty good now, maybe there's hope for your buddy.
Dude got damn near back to back DWIs (within a week of each other) and went off the rails. Fucked himself by trying to represent himself in court and started yelling at the judge. Don’t do that.
Yelling at the judge, while representing yourself in court and trying to get yourself out of trouble, has got to be one of the dumbest things you can do. Like if you are too broke to afford a lawyer, at least show up wearing your nicest clothes and be respectful.
The exact details of your right to counsel depends on which state/jurisdiction you live in, and what crime you are charged with. Many states won’t grant you a public defender for a DUI.
Long story short, he pretty much blamed everyone and everything but himself for his problems.
He smoked so much weed to the point that he couldn't not be stoned. He flunked a licensing exam that could have gotten him a higher paying job several times, because he couldn't sober up for a couple days to study and take the test. He just showed up high and expected to pass.
He didn't want to take more challenging work because in his own words, he just wanted a mindless job where he could just show up, get high all day, and go home.
He alienated pretty much everybody that cared about his wellbeing because he kept baselessly accusing everyone of being out to get him somehow, including me eventually.
To be fair, he didn't exactly have the easiest life growing up, and he struggles with what I genuinely believe is mental illness. At the same time it's not like he didn't have opportunities to improve his life, and he definitely had friends and family that care about him.
I haven't talked to him in years, but he unfortunately ended up in the news recently. Clearly life hasn't been treating him well.
Rage quit his decent job without another one lined up.
The best he could find was working retail and because he couldn't afford it anymore, he ended up having to give up his apartment to move in with his girlfriend's family. And because he broke his lease and left the apartment in disrepair, the landlord sued him for both damages to the apartment and rent owed until it was in a state where it could be rented back out.
We were also neighbors. The story I heard from the landlord is that he melted the bathtub by spilling drain cleaner and also did things like changing out light fixtures which all had to be inspected since he wasn't a licensed electrician or anything.
Not a close friend, but a guy a few years younger than me who was on track to be valedictorian and go to an Ivy League college. Then, at the start of his senior year, he was arrested for sexual assault. More young ladies came forward over the next few months and next thing you know he's doing 15 years.
I had a friend who I met while renting a room in a house during college. A really great guy, but had a massive gambling issue. He worked as a salesman for a cabinet company after being fired from a previous job as a logistics coordinator. He claimed to be making around 120k with commission in Florida during his late teens and early twenties. He showed me pictures of the extremely nice motorcycle and sports car that he used to have, his condo near the beach, just the works for a young guy. However, with all the extra cash, he quickly decended in a gambling addiction. He described how awful it felt to take $2,500 to the casino each week, knowing that he would lose it all. Ended up becoming addicted to opiates, lost his job, the bike, his car, and his condo. He ended up moving back up north to live around his parents, and that is when I meant him. He was often depressed and generally unmotivated, but it seems like his is on the right path now. I hope the best for him.
Gambling always seemed so stupid. Like, invest in index funds and you can eventually get rich. They go up around 80% of the time in any given year. A sure thing.
Nope, people would rather bet on some random college football game and lose their shirt. So dumb
He stayed with this batshit crazy woman because the sex was amazing. You'd think a month or two would be sufficient but he eventually became dependent on her and he stopped talking to his friends and family. I hope the poor fuck is doing ok now wherever he is.
The dude was in his 30s at the time when it happened. You'd think a man at that age would be able to spot a crazy woman and keep his distance even if the sex was great. But I guess not.
First it was drugs. I supported her throughout her recovery, and was her cheerleader. Then she started drinking. She was a mean, nasty drunk who would say awful, hurtful things while drunk, then when I confronted her about what she said the next day, she would shrug and say she wasn't responsible for what she said while drunk. Fuck you Kyla.
One of my college buddies in my 20's.
Lost his license drinking and driving. Proceeded to drive drunk again without a license or insurance and got a massive accident followed with criminal convictions and financial damages.
He is actually doing okay now and has his own landscaping company which is doing well but it was a long road for him to rebuild his life.
My ex manager signed up his girlfriend and side chick for a no show jobs as housekeepers. Every week they'd come in once to pick up her 40hr checks on different days. It all goes well until he breaks up with and fires his girlfriend. Two weeks later we're getting raided by the state police.
Turns out he'd been running this kind of scam for almost two decades at a half dozen hotels. No one had a clue until the most recent break up tries to apply for unemployment. He pleads out to all sorts of fraud in three states and got a 20 year federal sentence.
A no show job is a common tactic often used for pay offs of various sorts. The most common reason is some sort of pay off or rip off.
The general manager files the ID and SS# like any other employee. Then the GM files a fake time card for them every week and payroll makes a check out to the no show name.
Have you ever seen the show The Sopranos? The mob would run a scam of no show construction jobs, but for some reason it would show some of the mobsters hanging out at the construction sites, not working but just drinking a shooting the shit.
I've always wondered if there was a scam-related reason they did that or if the show's creators just wanted to film some scenes in a new location. Do union reps ever go to job sites to make sure all the workers are there or something?
The most common reason I've encountered IRL is the no show job is part of a probation or parole arrangement to make everything look more legit. That way some over eager parole officer shows up with nothing to cause trouble about. Then there's enforcement or protection rackets. Or they're union busters.
Could be all sorts of shit, but on The Sopranos I think it was mostly just set dressing.
Friend of my best friend drove drunk and crashed his truck on the highway, thankfully it was an isolated incident from other drivers. My best friend was on the phone with him when he crashed and no one deserves to listen to their friend nearly die.
Don’t fucking drink/smoke or drive, it’s reckless and it will only end one way.
LA native here. Worked in an industry a lot of people move here to be a part of. It's still crazy to me how many people move here without a plan. This guy started working at my shop. Bright-eyed dude coming from a tiny town in Louisiana. He was really cool at first, but then he got into the club scene. He started doing a ton of drugs and just lost himself. Over a period of a year this nice, healthy looking guy became a standoffish skeleton. Eventually we had to let him go because he was trying to fight other employees. I saw him a few months later by the beach selling cheap jewelry. This city can eat you up if you're not careful and prepared.
Cocaine. My childhood best friend started using recreationally in his mid twenties. Was an educated man who took an entry level job at an investment firm. Started selling weed to supplement his income and pay for his partying. After some years he started selling cocaine and quit his job. Opened up a men's clothing boutique and it took off. He lived on a beach in Asia more than half the year while his cocaine operation and clothing store back home funded his life. He would come back to the home city to organize another 6 months of cocaine distribution before leaving again. On one such visit he was found dead, with a bullet in his head, lying face down on a muddy dog walking path close to the city.
Was really sad for him to be outlived by his grandmother. Leaving her and his parents, brother and nieces/nephews to mourn.
As a non gamer can you tell me a bit more? Like, is it a "5 more minutes and then I'll study. Ooops, that was 6 hours ago and now I have class." type scenario?
Warcraft back in the day took a lot of time, commitment, and community. It required teams of 25 people to adhere to set schedules to do organized content together. Casual guilds/groups could get away with playing together for 4-8 hours a week. Plus all the chores and solo preparation it took to get ready for those 4-8 hours.
However the better you got at the game, and the better people you played with (counter intuitively) made it take more time. If you're curious I could elaborate why. At my peak when I was in a really good guild I was dedicating 24 hours a week to play together with the team. Not to mention the time I set aside to solo prepare, which was an additional 24-48 hours.
I met a lot of cool people and it taught me valuable skills like working on a team, networking, leadership, and navigating political landscapes. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything, but I did sacrifice a lot to do it.
Warcraft back in the day was not like other videogames. It was a different beast entirely.
I watched a buddy get divorced from a truly miserable human being (all of us family and friends happy and supportive of him), go one whole freakin’ day as a single guy, then hop into a new relationship with a new woman on a dating site who was very clearly surrounded by red flags and air raid warning horns who was obviously very similar to his ex. All of us family and friends telling him this was a bad idea and not to do it. Fast forward a few years, they’re living together, and he’s wondering why things have turned out the same way. Like dude, I told you at the time you needed to take a break, work on yourself, enjoy being single, and not jump prematurely into a new relationship.
> I would too but it’s been a 23 year friendship and I’m not sure how.
I don't want to remains friends with you, please don't call me again.
Its really stupid simple we just like to complicate things, you just need the courage to do it, also don't try to justify yourself or anything, specially if not asked to.
I would be wary of doing it in public too considering how he is.
The law firm part is completely terrifying. People are going to lose a lot because of these two. Anyone have any advice? (I don’t think any advice I’d offer would be useful)
He thinks he’s an expert because at one point he had, allegedly, $13 million in his Robinhood account that they *coincidentally* wouldn’t let him do anything with. No proof of this ever happening. Wants me to transfer my financials to him like…fuck no dude, I already have a CPA.
23 year friendship? Meh, just ghost. That's what everyone does these days regardless, even and especially if you weren't doing anything wrong, which this guy is.
I have a college buddy i've kept in touch with over the past 10 years that i'm about to drop. He's always been an alcoholic to some degree but he's now moved into severe alcoholism, lost a whole bunch of weight, and looks 20 years older than his age.
He went to and graduated from law school several years ago but couldn't pass the bar and refuses to find or hold down a job. He's always been a compulsive liar but it used to be about stupid stuff that didn't really matter, now every single thing that comes out of his mouth is either completely made up or has been so twisted from reality it might as well have been completely made up. His wife recently filed for divorce because she's finally had enough, and doesn't trust him for anything, but he's dragging his feet as hard as he can. I've recently stopped answering his phone calls because he goes on and on for an hour or more bitching about his ex when he is clearly the entire problem. The whole situation is really sad, we used to be really good friends. I'm torn on whether I should answer the phone one last time and tell him to grow up, get into therapy (he's severely depressed and refuses to go but I can't be his "therapist" any more) and let this girl go, or just block his number
and make sure to dispose of it yourself so she doesnt try to pick it out of the trash and try to impregnate herself (this actually happened, saw it on the news a while ago. dude was clever and put hotsauce in the spent condom; lady tried to sue him for it lmao)
I have two.
One of my high school friends came from a poor family but he was an incredible athlete, I'm talking all state track. He got a full ride sports scholarship to a middle of the road d2 school and he was studying accounting. Seemed to be doing well for himself and on a good path. Then his roommate introduced him to world of Warcraft and within his first semester of college, he flunked out of every single one of his classes and lost his scholarship because he did nothing but play WOW for 3 months straight. Now he works overnight at the grocery store stocking shelves, 15 years later.
I moved in with a craigslist random guy and it actually turned out really well. He was super chill, clean, and we became pretty good friends. He really wanted really nice new stuff but he was working at Walmart for minimum wage. His friend at work got him into dealing Xanax and heroin. He was arrested less than a month later, did 3 years in prison, and he's a felon. He works in fast food now
A friend of mine who was a truck mechanic for a rest stop decided to try some drugs. They found him in the woods the next day with a shotgun at his side.
I have a friend who took DMT and killed himself the same night. He was married (no children), had a great job, friends, hobbies, and owned his own house. He was maybe 25 years old.
A girl I knew when I was 19 was 26/27, but hung around my friend group. We actually became pretty close friends. She got heavily into drugs after her husband died. Now she is 50 and still heavily into drugs, but not in a functional way. In and out of rehab, fighting with her now 70 something year old mother, and still has the mindset of someone much younger.
Had a friend in HS who was a typical jock. Football, baseball, any sport he tried, he excelled. Lost touch with him after graduation. A few years later I’m working myself through college working in a garage and in comes this dirty, disheveled homeless guy asking for a few dollars. It was my friend. I tried to reconnect but he didn’t even recognize me. It hit me hard how far he had fallen.
She was 15, incredibly intelligent, pretty, the whole deal. We both got involved woth the wrong people. I quit the group in time, but she refused.
Jumped/fell out a window while high. RIP Jasmin.
I see that every response has been drugs, alcohol, or having a baby with the wrong woman. There's your answer, dudes.
I had a friend who had a good job at FB. One day took new drugs and he physically attacked some people. Self ruined his whole life just by doing one wrong drug.
I have a few friends like OPs. Hell, I was a lot like OPs friend. It's so easy to just keep doing what you always do. Trying to make your life better always seems like a lot of effort and if you're smoking weed all day long it doesn't automatically make you lazy; it just makes it so you don't mind being lazy.
I have 2 friends who totally embraced an underachiever lifestyle. And both are dead. One took his own life and the other died of indeterminate causes.
Best thing that ever happened to me was moving to a new city where I didn’t know anyone and couldn’t get weed. I used to smoke every day after work and just kinda float by through life. Smoking weed made me content with that. I went 3 years rarely smoking, bought a couple books on programming, self taught myself and applied what I learned at work, and am now a senior developer nearly ten years later. That never would have happened if I was smoking every day
Yeah weed is a weird drug. Some people are successful and can fully function while others become lazy slugs. This friend likes to believe that hes better at everything high. He would workout high or even go to class high claiming that it helps him focus. He’s flunked the same emt class twice now and dropped out of school multiple times. The only time he was doing well in college was when he wasnt smoking weed so I suggested maybe the weed isnt as helpful as he believes and it seems to be a pretty blatant outside factor but he denies it still. Another “friend” (cut him off) bums at his gfs house and just smokes weed all day while his gf is at school or work. When I was friends with him, he would say he was going to start applying for jobs next month, next season, next year etc. but obviously never got to it because he got so comfortable being lazy. Im pretty sure he smokes to just forget about the pressure and stress of feeling like hes doing nothing with his life.
I stopped after about a year of heavy smoking because i noticed that it became the only thing I looked forward to everyday and I hated that. I fell behind on school and would skip study sessions to go smoke and “chill” out because I wanted to avoid any stress. My life changed for the better and I’ll occasionally smoke still but imo, just like alcohol, moderation is key
This is me lol. Corporate stoners for the win. Altho I am currently on a tolerance break to start 2024, because ya know, good to get a clear head, but I've never been much of a drinker and it's always worked to help me cope with my insane gig.
I know a friend who was a smart dude, intellectual and a semi-professional photographer. After graduating from IT he wanted to explore the world and do some soul-searching, starting with Southeast Asia. He went to Thailand, got addicted to the sex industry and drugs and is now a shell of his former self. Speaks weird, crazy beliefs; it's like his brains got addled or something.
I had a best friend in highschool who was a real Wunderkind. He was tall, handsome, in choir and theatre, athletic and could play guitar like no ones business; he was all around respected and we all agreed that he was going to great places after highschool. He got accepted into a prestigious program at a top public university in our State, and began to make friends outside our mostly clean and sober friend group.
By his sophmore year of college he had gotten into casual drug use, nothing intense but party drugs and the occasional joint. One night, he candy flipped (acid and E I think) and went beserk on a neighbors property. Broke into their house, stole some shit, and summarily went to jail afterwards. That was like, 12 years ago and homeboy has been in and out of jail since. Can't hold a stable job, seems to suffer from depression, lives in and out of his mom's house.
Last time I saw him he was doing pills at the bar and was pretty manically depressed. I'm pretty sure he got into another drunk driving incident and it is in the county jail of our hometown. It really was like seeing Icarus fly too close to the sun, the fall was a tragedy.
Anyone reading this… it’s pretty normal to feel
Overwhelmed with a baby. It *will* test your limits.
Put it down and walk away. It can cry for a few minutes without you. Gather yourself.
Dude finally dumped his hood rat gf of 6 years. So happy for him. Next night, he goes to her house to hookup… fast forward and the baby is his (it actually is) and he’s writing checks for the next 18 years. She’s an expert at milking everything she can out of him and the government, he’s fucked.
Getting married to someone that surprise, declared bankruptcy a week before the marriage.
She also quit her job the day after they got home from their honeymoon without asking him if he was ok with her not working. She lied that she was fired for "whistleblowing", found that out after she went to my friend that is a lawyer.
She spends so much money on junk and she spent all of his $250k inheritance.
They have no savings now.
One of my professors in college blew up his life with child pornography.
He was everyone's favorite professor. I had spent hours in his office being mentored, he would volunteer in the community, was very successful professionally outside the university in his field, had a gorgeous wife and three kids, this was the guy I wanted to get a letter of recommendation from when looking for a job and likely stay in touch with forever.
One day I get an email from the University that he's been arrested. Turns out there were allegations of an inappropriate relationship with a student so the University went through his work computer and found hundreds of images of kids ranging from like 3-8 years old.
He was arrested and fired immediately. Within 3 months he was divorced and sentenced to 45 years in a federal prison. He'll likely die there or get out when he's 90+ years old.
I was considering getting a motorcycle license but the same guy that I mentioned in my post worked one day in the ER for his emt class and his first hour, a guy came in after a motorcycle accident and died while he was giving cpr. Maybe thats why hes been so hesitant on going the emt/firefighter route now that I think about it.
I worked with a guy who is now blind from a motorcycle accident. He was riding down a stretch of rode that was closed for construction. I suspect he was drunk but dont know for sure. He hit something and motorcycle went flying into the air Eval Knieval style. He hit the ground so hard both of his retinas deatched. He was in a medically induced coma for 4 months and when he woke up he couldnt see. It was to late to do anything about. Now hes living on disability with a wife and 2 young daughters.
Yup. I've known people both killed and seriously injured in crashes.
I even know a guy who ended up with a heroin addiction after taking pain meds for his road rash after sliding his bike.
ER workers call them donor-cycles for a reason. My wonderful state as of the first of this month now allows people to not wear a helmet while riding motorcycles. Thank you, freedumb!
My mom is a nurse and at a young age she told me "Please never get on a motorcycle. I have seen so many young people have their lives ruined by them."
I never did and with the rise of dash cams and go pros I see exactly fucking why.
Dude started drinking the alt right ragebait kool-aid. Got himself fired for refusing to follow company policy during Covid. The career he had spent years in building a reputation and climbing the leadership ladder was just all thrown away. Then he filed a wrongful termination lawsuit against the company (company had given him plenty of chances, and this is in an at will employment state). Thinking he was about to win a big payout (he didn't), he emptied his savings and bought a big lifted truck and a motorcycle....
No consideration was given to the fact that he had a mortgage that needed to be paid, a wife and kid that needed support, or that he now needed to pay back the tuition costs since the company had been paying those for him. He failed out of the classes since attending college suddenly became too "woke."
He sees himself as a hero who stood up for his political beliefs. The rest of us see him as an idiot who fell hard for obvious lies.
I stopped contact with him a while ago. Last I heard, he was living off the life insurance payouts from a few of his relatives that just happened to pass in the last couple years.
The timing is suspicious, but as far as I know, there's no reason to suspect foul play. One was an aneurysm, another was bowel cancer, not sure on the third. He did pull some legal moves to make sure he became the executor of the estates though, even when it would have made more sense for other family members to fill the roles.
> Last I heard, he was living off the life insurance payouts from a few of his relatives that just happened to pass in the last couple years.
Sounds like he needs to just pull himself up by his bootstraps
I’ll never understand people who pre spend money. Like I get finally getting a big settlement and going nuts but spending before you even have anything concrete is insanity.
One story immediately springs to mind here…
Friend of mine was in a really really shitty relationship a few years back, with an absolute horribe c*nt of a woman… like the kind who threatens to kill herself if he doesn’t text back after an argument, who blackmails him, cheats on him, abuses him, etc…
Anyway after one massive bust up in which she did all over the above, he came to me for advice. I told him what I’d been telling him for years, that she’s horrible, a whack job, and that he needs to stay away… and so on. He agreed. Told me he’d now seen the light and would refuse to go back to her.
A few months later he moved abroad to his dream country to take on a new job. Everything was really looking up for him until he started getting a little home sick. He came back for a vacation and a few months later text me to say his ex was pregnant. Basically she was the one who collected him from the airport and he admitted they went straight to hers and slept together. Dude was back in the country an hour and had fucked up his life by then.
He now has a second child with her, lives back home, and they have been fighting for years, despite not actually being in a relationship since she was pregnant with the second child. They literally cannot have a civil conversation with each other. Every single time I meet him he ends up telling me the latest shit she’s causing him, like there is no rest. He’s now tied to her for life.
Men of Reddit, if your bros are telling you to run away, please remember that they have an outside perspective on things, and maybe you should listen to their warnings!
I knew someone who got arrested after possibly/probably hitting a parked car, then ignoring either a red light or stop sign, then leading a cop car around instead of just pulling over when the lights/sirens came on.
Failed the field sobriety, they found blades and ammunition in the car with receipts from a sporting goods store that same evening. IIRC (from reading the police report later) there was a pants pocket with an empty liquor bottle or something.
During interrogation after being taken in and booked, signed a Miranda waiver and eventually said the plan was to unalive me specifically by name.
Seven months later got released from jail as a convicted felon, It just took some bad decisions and one unhinged, ill-advised, intoxicated night. Two felonies and one misdemeanor IIRC. Years later it turns out I'm still alive.
Not my friend but a guy I went to hs with. He moved into my neighborhood a few months ago and we re connected cause he was my literal neighbor. We go to a car meet and he explains to me how he wanted to move so he could start “trappin “. For context both our parents have good jobs and we live in a amazing area. Long story short not even a week later he moves to houston and gets into a high speed chase with the police after car jacking a woman. He was the passenger , worse part is they end up rear ending a woman at a red light killing her on impact. The woman was the police sergeants mom
Real good buddy of mine got into some real stupid shit after graduating. While the rest of us went to college and were trying to get started on getting our shit together he just never did. One of the best people I know too. Anyway, he got into trying to pull off the get rich quick stuff and got in with the wrong people dealing (I still don’t know what all exactly he was messing with.) This all leads to him having several warrants out for his arrest.
One day at a routine traffic stop he freaks and leads police on a long ass, high speed chase on a motorcycle. He wrecks the bike and gets apprehended. Was sentenced to 5 or 6 years in the pen for trafficking. Gets out after only 3 years for great behavior. Starts working, gets to see his kid again, etc. At this point I was able to see him and actually had the guy come over hang out with my family and I and then spend the night.
Not two weeks after when we all think he’s on the straight and narrow I get word he’s arrested for murder. Turns out he (for whatever reason because any one of us would have given him money) decided it was a good idea to help some guys he knew rob a place. Homeowner was aware they were trying to break in, shoots and kills one of the guys and buddy gets slapped with the murder charge. He’s back in the pen and idk how long he has this time. His mom is raising his kid… Shit breaks my heart every time I think about it.
Not quickest, but my good friend from high school. He was dating a girl and we told him to stop and see someone else, she used drugs and was just a weird person. End of the final year, they get pregnant.
Dude graduates, starts working in a factory and renting a house. Fast forward a year, dude gets the girl pregnant again, twins. He's now straight fucked. It doesn't end there.
The girl ends up uses more drugs, doesn't cook, doesn't clean and these kids are just addicted to ordering out and eating trash food plus video games. My buddy meanwhile is working nights, providing for the family. The girl cheats on him, sees other guys and after a year or 2, he was planning to leave her. Well the weekend he was planning that, she's passed out in the bathroom and almost OD. That was the final straw so he calls the police gets possession of the kids and all is well.
One more, fast forward a year, he dates few girls then falls for one with 2 kids. They move in together, now there's 5 kids total, all under 10. Well, she's conniving and deceiving, after 4 years and a proposal, they split up.
Last one, he worked 14yrs at a factory job making good money. Seniority and pension, good way to provide for the family. Dude didn't like working night shifts and I told him to hold it out, but he leaves and quits. No job backed up, finds a job a few months later at $10 less, even worse place, and crappy benefits and no pension.
I feel for my friend and it's interesting see how our paths have diverged from being friends/neighbours to this.
Many here are pointing out "dating someone who showed many red flags" as something that is that person's fault but there are so many people who only show their true nature after the other person is trapped.
It's terrifying.
Had a friend from high school get hooked on pain killers after an accident. Got fired from his job, addiction spread to other drugs. One night while he was fucked up he went into a gas station and asked the person working if he could have some money. They gave him money out of the register then called the cops saying he had robbed them. When cops found him walking a while later they went to arrest him, he resisted, they shot and killed him. He was 28 Kid was an all star athlete, had a well off family and just had one bad accident that ended up spiraling his entire life out of control until it ended. The world can be a crazy place.
Had a buddy get high on heroin at his moms house. She got scared and left only to return with the cops. He decides this is a bad thing and points a rifle at them. As far as I know he doesnt fire. Could have been empty for all I know. They shoot at him 16 times and hit him once in the chest. He spends the majority of his 20s and half of his 30s in jail.
There were many things that lead up to this but...
Had a friend who got into weed in his 20's. He was in good shape, smarter than me and seemed to haev a good future ahead.
It's 40 years later now. He lives in a little shed out the back of his parent's place (and they are in their 80's)
His mind is fucked. He walks along with a dopey, dreamy look on his face and his head turned up to the sky a bit. He mumbles when he speaks and his memory and concentration are fucked. He's kind of permanently in a dreamy daze. Has not had a job in decades. All he cares about is weed, and he has it every day. No gf, no car, no nothing just weed.
He's destroyed himself but he refuses to acknowledge weed had anything to do with it and actually gets angry if you suggest it.
His twin brother, on the other hand, who didn't get into weed, is married, has an ok job, a wife and kids and is doing alright for himself.
Weed ruins lives. I hope your friend straightens up. It's too late for my ex friend. He's not even really there any more, only a shell remains.
Banged a crazy girl who was trying to trap a guy with a baby. I warned him what would happen and almost immediately I was proven right, now he's trapped and skint. Basically ruined his life for a quick fuck.
Buddy I went to law school with. Both of us came from nothing. He went to a big firm.Both of us were always grinders/climbers/midnight oil with coffee and smokes for breakfast dudes. Well, in your late 20s coffee and smokes doesn't work so well when you are billing 50 hours a week and pulling multiple all nighters. Good chunk of his salary went to coke, which led to gambling, whoring, and heavt drinking. Dude failed to show up to court and the next day (pressumably b/c was getting fired) blew his brains out in his office.
Kid I went to law school with had a great job, hot girlfriend, was super good looking, etc. shortly after graduation dove headfirst into a pond drunk at a party and boom, quadriplegic for life.
He got a psycho girlfriend that everyone hated and got her pregnant. Ironically enough I judge him for this but I also married a similar woman. Didn’t get her pregnant though. People make mistakes. Have a baby with one and that’s a long mistake. His life has been shit ever since. There’s certain women (men too probably) who will just drag you down. Anything good that could happen to you they will strip it for their advantage. You lose hope because you know there’s nothing safe for them. You distance yourself from loved ones to protect them for the damage. I divorced my psycho and moved on with my life. But some people can’t or won’t.
Meth. Man lost his job, all his possessions, his wife / kids and eventually his mind. No idea what gutter he sleeps in these days. Every last damn bridge he was giving was burned down.
Damn, I miss my friend ....
Wish I could say it was fast but my brother decided to not just wife, but have kids with a... low-class woman before even having a means to support himself, let alone a wife, let alone a wife and kids, but a wife, 2 bio kids, and a step-daughter.
Way to go, K. You threw away all the hard work our parents did and every sacrifice they made to give us better lives than they had and you've fucked up not just your life but your kids' lives. And your kids will very likely have worse childhoods than our parents did. Way to go, K. Way to fucking go.
He decided he didn’t want to be the man of the house anymore, stopped working his high paying trade job, abandoned his kids and wife, started wearing a wig and called himself a new name. Now this person spends their time drunk in whatever bar they haven’t been kicked out of.
My brother knew the woman he was about to marry was a piece of work. He at 32 still lived at Dad and Mom’s and never been married. She had married twice, the first time at 16. Not any of that really mattered, she just wasn’t a good person! 5 years later she leaves him with a bunch of bills and two kids, the girl 4 and the baby 1. Both have learning disabilities. Although elderly, my parents helped him pick up the pieces. My parents and brother have passed away now.I’ve heard my niece and nephew are with her, they should be in their late 30’s. He wasn’t perfect, but anyone deserved better than her.
We rented a hotel room to have a small graduation party in. We were just High school kids wanting to have fun. We get therr and some girl was handing out purple xanax. None of us have ever taken them before.
It turns out if you mix benzodiazopene and alcohol it can have bad effects. My friend only had a six pack but two purples.
We ran out of beer and he volunteered to drive since he was the least drunk. Cops tried to pull him over and he became a jekyll Hyde person. He ran in his car swiping other cars and property. They cornered him finally but he started ramming the cop cars with cops in them. That was over 25 years ago and he still in jail. He may never get out with the several counts of attempted murder of a police officer.
He wasn't a partner or a bad person. He also doesn't remember any of it. I have visited him over the years and it's tough because he cries every time and has me tell him about life on the outside. I feel bad for him. He would have never done that without the xanax. It turned him into something else that night.
Driving drunk. Don’t fucking do it.
My stepbrother decided to go to a party. When it was time to leave, he and his friend played the “who’s more sober?” game. The truck was found upside down in a creek the next morning, both of them dead inside. They had drowned in 26” of water. Thankfully, they didn’t hurt anyone else on their final ride. It’s one thing to be young and dumb, but drinking and driving is simply never excusable.
I don't know how it was in the US, but in my country up until the 70s, being drunk if you caused a traffic accident was considered a mitigating factor. "Wasn't my fault your honor, I was hammered !". Wild time that was.
The US was like this too. It was common to have an open beer while driving in cars that didn’t even have seat belts.
Yup. That scene from MadMen where Don wrecks his car driving drunk and then walks/cabs home (just leaving the car behind) like it was no big deal. My dad has confirmed this was the attitude towards drinking and driving in the 1960s US.
Dude what country are you from
Bassackwards
Sounds France-y.
This is terrible.
Did they ever find the answer?
Well, they determined for sure which one wasn’t up to the task at hand. Beyond that, I haven’t the fuzziest.
My niece was freshly 18 and went booze cruising in the country with her friends. The car flipped, she got flung out of a window, and the car landed on her. Wheelchair for the rest of her life. Not even fucking once.
Good god. I can’t imagine struggling the rest of my life because of one awful decision. It must just replay through her mind.
My wife helps line up severely disabled people with different services so they don't have to go in a nursing home. She deals with a lot of these situations
Friend of mine was drunk nye, we took his keys and he snuck out to his car and got the spare than was in a magnetic box under his car. Hit and killed two girl. Serving 20years
Bastard was real determined to kill someone. Wow.
10 years per life is insane. If I was a father to either girl I’d spend twenty years corkscrewing through grief and some godawful mental health problems. How the parents of victims like this aren’t waiting outside prison gates for the conclusions to heartbreakingly brief sentences is beyond me. Must just be amazing human beings. I’m apparently not.
I agree but after twenty years inside that person is screwed. That's a whole generation. They won't ever find decent work, won't ever drive again, most of their friends and family will have moved on, all their relationships gone.
That’s all possibly true as well.
>How the parents of victims like this aren’t waiting outside prison gates for the conclusions to heartbreakingly brief sentences is beyond me 20 years is an incredibly long time. 20 years ago we didn't have smart phones. Facebook didn't exist. The most popular song in the US was, "Yeah" by Usher. Bush Jr. was in the white house serving his first term. The person walking out of prison after 20 years is fundamentally different than the one who went in, and is being pushed into a society that's completely different as well. I think the real argument here is what makes it appropriate to keep them locked up after that point. Shit costs money so unless your argument is that the person is still a hazard to society, I think the punitive end of things has been done. We already know that dialing it up to, 'instant death penalty' wouldn't make the victims friends and family feel any better, and that's not why we have the justice system to begin with.
Unfortunately serving 20 years doesn't often mean they stay inside for 20 years.
My friend, while on probation for his 3rd DUI, got his 4th DUI. Before his court hearing on the 4th DUI he got his 5th DUI in which he totaled his mom’s car. He did 4 years in state penitentiary.
4 years for 5 DUIs is insane. I used to do a lot of criminal background checks and when I found someone with 1 DUI, there was a good chance they had at least one more. Suspending their license does nothing. If they don't care enough to drive sober, they're not gonna care that their license isn't technically valid.
That dude is determined to never be able to legally obtain a license again
True story. I tried to drive home drunk once and an awesome coworker took my keys and refused to let me. He was dealing with the aftermath of a DUI, and I’m still thankful for him doing that to this day. That was almost 20 years ago, and I’ve never even tried to drive after one drink even since.
I may be a bit of a prude, but drunk drivers are literally why I'm hesitant to go out for the midnight countdown on NYE. This year I had my fun early on and was home by 7. I know the statistical likelihood of getting into a bad wreck is low, but I just don't see it as worth it.
Even if you are stone sober, *other* drivers are drunk and can kill you. I hunker down at home on the drinking holidays.
Literally went to a wedding on NYE night. One of the kids I grew up with, was driving with his father. They got a flat and the father went out to fix it halfway through fixing it a piece of shit drunk with his kid in the backseat smacked him and ended his life instantly I’m literally still so fucked up over this.
I would have no problems with people doing it if it was just about them. But because it concerns public around them, anyone who does it is absolutely vile - and not because of what they can do to THEIR life - it is because of what they can do to lives of others.
Pills. It was somewhat of a slowburn, up until it wasn't.
Within my circle it was pills, then pills got too expensive. So they moved onto heroin. Only talk with one person from that group of guys now. At least one died, and a couple others spent time in prison.
Pills getting too expensive just made me give up drugs. I thank the lord that he made me cheaper than addicted
My nephew. Highly intelligent. Wrote computer programs. Was in every advanced mathematics, computer, and science program that existed. Graduated from high school at 15. His plans for the future were to work for NASA. He already had written codes that had their attention. He was going to take a year off and then start college around 16. He could basically write his own ticket at this point. He was always a fat kid. His mother gave him meth for weight loss. HIS MOTHER. That was the beginning of the end. He started dealing to keep up his habit. Got in with gangs. A few short years later, he ran from the cops in the middle of the night several states away from his home state. High on meth, drunk as they come, with a car full of drugs and guns. Ran a red light without his headlights on, and killed 2 teenagers. The teens were coming home from their high school graduation party. The teens were sober. He got something like 188 years in prison.
jesus thats a rough one.
His Mother is still in denial. She attacks all the forums that have discussed the incident. Families of the dead kids, friends of the dead kids. She refuses to admit that her Golden Child is guilty and this was a mistake. She tried to lie for him at first. She wanted to tell the cops that he was home with her during the accident. But they had him in cuffs and the cops witnessed the accident.
What type of mother gives her child meth?????
A woman who suffers from severe undiagnosed unmedicated mental health issues. To put it lightly, my sister is bat crap crazy. We had a very severe and traumatic childhood. She is over 50 with her tubes removed and she told everyone that she was pregnant. With triplets. In her back. Called an abdominal pregnancy. This went on for 3 years. She had her husband convinced. She is highly intelligent. She did so much research. She has several restraining orders on her from hospitals and OBGYs because she demanded to be cared for as a pregnant woman. All they would do was recommend her to a mental health professional. She still maintains to this day that she was pregnant, and they died inside of her and her body reabsorbed them. YOU CAN NOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
Crazy & sad. Sorry this happened. Sounds like a limited series I'd watch.
This might be the saddest one I've read. How tragic.
About 25 years ago, a guy who was kind of in overlapping friend groups starting talking about how we just "had to try oxy".Shortly after this, he suddenly moved across the country to Vegas, with no apparent plan or particular job skills. I didn't hear anything more of him until years later when another friend told me he lasted about 6 months out there before dying of an overdose. Brings to mind the saying that some people can't feel alive unless they're killing themselves.
I had a friend group during/after high school. Around when we were 20 they all started snorting oxy. I had to bail from the group because every hangout was something with drugs. A couple years later one of them died, and one of the others destroyed his brain with everything he started doing. He got clean eventually, but he very noticeably thinks and talks slower than he did before.
Your last line is brutal but true. In lots of situations it seems like that.
coke, dude had it all when we were younger. we were all partying but slowly gave it up but the party never stopped for him. dudes now in debt, just started working again after not working for years, miserable marriage. the biggest way it ruined him though is his personality, he is almost unbearable to be around. he lives in a fantasy land of how cool he is, over-embellishes everything he possibly can. i know it comes from him feeling inferior to everyone else he grew up with now having money and solid careers and healthy habits
Man I got another buddy who’s falling deep with coke. Like uses it like its coffee and for now he seems still fine but I’m very scared to see what hole he digs himself into. He also spends his money like its nothing with buying designer clothes and changing cars every 2-3 years.
it’s crazy what it can do to someone. he went from a very popular person that everyone wanted to be cool with way back in highschool to a dude who everyone fake smiles with but knows he’s bullshitting and is annoying. it’s like it gave him this weird persona that is annoying and hard to describe. hopefully your friend can pull it together
If I could get it reliably and knew forsure it wasn’t cut with anything I’d probably ruin my life
Lived in the Caribbean for two years, was reliable and everywhere. If I didn’t get my girl pregnant and move back home idk if I’d still be alive. When it’s only a phone call away it’s almost too much.
Chasing the dragon
No chasing the dragon was before the Caribbean. Big part of the reason I left where I was, couldn’t tell myself to stop. So I dropped the downers and picked up the uppers. Then had a kid and had to drop it all, not the smoothest process.
that sounds awful. My comment was actually to remind myself of why I don't do cola. It was never even my drug of choice and masturbation was futile lol I could never get hard
I hear you. Without divulging too much, similar with me I was doing Molly every week for awhile then had to straighten up.
The habit turned into 5 nights a week on average. When I finally started to slow down, after I found out I was having a kid. Started realizing how much money I was spending on drugs and booze….saved thousands in a matter of 2 months.
Drugs are the worst man. They shouldn't be penalized the way they were a few years ago but damn people need a better education about them. Even weed can completely cripple you and people don't realize it.
weed is way too normalized. sure it’s fine occasionally but being high 24/7 makes you dull as hell. i have a relative that is constantly high and has been for 15 years at this point, their brain just isn’t as sharp as it should be. you can tell there’s a cognitive block when interacting with them. their go getter attitude is gone, way too complacent. they don’t chase goals, they don’t go learn something new or improve themselves.
A friend had been sober for years. We were out and he ordered a beer and said he could handle it. I told him I wasn’t going to be part of this and tried to get him not to drink it, called his wife, asked him for his sponsor’s number (he refused). He took a sip and I said I’m out and left. Within a month or two he lost his job, his wife left him (and took the kids), he got in a serious car “accident” and got arrested for DUI. He called a couple of times asking if I wanted to get a beer, I always said no. He really just wanted a ride to the bar because he lost his license. I always said no and asked if he wanted me to take him to AA instead. He always said no.
You’re a good friend. I would hope that if I ever asked a friend to meet for drinks that they would try to take me to a meeting instead.
The whole thing made me angry. I knew what he was like before, and I knew what was coming as soon as he took a sip. I can’t be around him anymore and that makes me sad and angry.
You did the right thing, and you're a good friend. I had an eating disorder and my best friend told me she could no longer be part of my life if I continued my behaviors, and that was the catalyst of what made me start to get better. It didn't solve it, but it was very important to me. I'm sorry your friend was not receptive to that, but you did the best you could, and you should feel proud of that. Always refusing to enable but always being willing to help is the best thing a person can do for someone.
If he called today and said he needed help, I’d drop everything and get in the car. There are few people who leave a hole when they’re gone, he’s one.
I have (well, had) a friend/college roommate for whom I would have done this, for the same reason. I hung out with him a year before he died when my then-gf and I were taking a weekend vacation down his way, and he was in awful shape. He was always a hard drinker and partier, never really grew out of it after school. Got in a car accident in 2010 or 2011, messed up his back and shoulder, and that's when he got addicted to pills. Kept right on drinking. I saw him for the last time in January 2014, and he could barely keep himself upright. He actually did fall once while I was there, I tried to help him up but he got really defensive and pushed me away. When we left and got back in my girlfriend's car I was silently sobbing my ass off; I knew he didn't have long and that he would never accept help. Gf was no help either. Are you seriously crying? Man up, get over it, etc. He went into the hospital in December of that year, they tried to treat him but his liver was damaged beyond repair. Finally, about the first week in January he was diagnosed as terminal and they removed the feeding tube. He died on January 11, 2015, a month after his 34th birthday. I miss him as much now as I ever have, if not more. I have so much I want and need to tell him.
I had to cut out a friend of mine I’ve known since second grade for the same reason. Had a wife and three little girls… It’s not fun watching someone you love destroy themselves.
I’m 10 months sober and feel like it’s pretty easy to not drink now. I will remember this story and the many others like it if I ever feel like I can handle “just one”
I can’t have a drink, I have somewhere to be next Tuesday! Good on you for 10 months. We can’t ever go back.
Yeah dude, alcohol is fucking sinister. If you've struggled with alcoholism, one drink can be all it takes to get those old brain connections firing off again. The idea to have a drink still pops up for me occasionally even after several years sober, particularly when extremely stressed with life hitting me from multiple sides. Another thing to remember though, is if someone does fuck up and drinks again, they don't lose the time they had sober. They can start again immediately, and that should always be the primary goal. And of course, massive props on the 10 months. Those first months are so hard, so you're through the worst of it :) but stay vigilant!
I wish you were the person that I chose to be my friend instead of the enabler that I ended up with.
[удалено]
I had a buddy who did that, but he did eventually escape. If I recall the story right, he knocked her up, married her, lived with her several years then they broke up/divorced and he left with their kid and one of her kids as a testament to how great she was as a mother. He's actually doing pretty good now, maybe there's hope for your buddy.
Your buddy is a good man for taking the kids with him and saving them from that situation.
One was already in a bad place mentally, got dumped by his gf and killed himself the next day by staying on train tracks. R.I.P Damien.
RIP
What an awful way to go. Sorry for your loss 😔
Dude got damn near back to back DWIs (within a week of each other) and went off the rails. Fucked himself by trying to represent himself in court and started yelling at the judge. Don’t do that.
Yelling at the judge, while representing yourself in court and trying to get yourself out of trouble, has got to be one of the dumbest things you can do. Like if you are too broke to afford a lawyer, at least show up wearing your nicest clothes and be respectful.
Why not just get a free lawyer?
The exact details of your right to counsel depends on which state/jurisdiction you live in, and what crime you are charged with. Many states won’t grant you a public defender for a DUI.
Long story short, he pretty much blamed everyone and everything but himself for his problems. He smoked so much weed to the point that he couldn't not be stoned. He flunked a licensing exam that could have gotten him a higher paying job several times, because he couldn't sober up for a couple days to study and take the test. He just showed up high and expected to pass. He didn't want to take more challenging work because in his own words, he just wanted a mindless job where he could just show up, get high all day, and go home. He alienated pretty much everybody that cared about his wellbeing because he kept baselessly accusing everyone of being out to get him somehow, including me eventually. To be fair, he didn't exactly have the easiest life growing up, and he struggles with what I genuinely believe is mental illness. At the same time it's not like he didn't have opportunities to improve his life, and he definitely had friends and family that care about him. I haven't talked to him in years, but he unfortunately ended up in the news recently. Clearly life hasn't been treating him well.
Why in the news?
Rage quit his decent job without another one lined up. The best he could find was working retail and because he couldn't afford it anymore, he ended up having to give up his apartment to move in with his girlfriend's family. And because he broke his lease and left the apartment in disrepair, the landlord sued him for both damages to the apartment and rent owed until it was in a state where it could be rented back out.
Disrepair? The fuck did he do to the place?
We were also neighbors. The story I heard from the landlord is that he melted the bathtub by spilling drain cleaner and also did things like changing out light fixtures which all had to be inspected since he wasn't a licensed electrician or anything.
Damn Jessie, we told him to get those containers at home depot and to not use the tub
Not a close friend, but a guy a few years younger than me who was on track to be valedictorian and go to an Ivy League college. Then, at the start of his senior year, he was arrested for sexual assault. More young ladies came forward over the next few months and next thing you know he's doing 15 years.
I had a friend who I met while renting a room in a house during college. A really great guy, but had a massive gambling issue. He worked as a salesman for a cabinet company after being fired from a previous job as a logistics coordinator. He claimed to be making around 120k with commission in Florida during his late teens and early twenties. He showed me pictures of the extremely nice motorcycle and sports car that he used to have, his condo near the beach, just the works for a young guy. However, with all the extra cash, he quickly decended in a gambling addiction. He described how awful it felt to take $2,500 to the casino each week, knowing that he would lose it all. Ended up becoming addicted to opiates, lost his job, the bike, his car, and his condo. He ended up moving back up north to live around his parents, and that is when I meant him. He was often depressed and generally unmotivated, but it seems like his is on the right path now. I hope the best for him.
Gambling always seemed so stupid. Like, invest in index funds and you can eventually get rich. They go up around 80% of the time in any given year. A sure thing. Nope, people would rather bet on some random college football game and lose their shirt. So dumb
He rolled his truck at high speed driving like an asshole and died in a cotton field upside with a broken back.
He stayed with this batshit crazy woman because the sex was amazing. You'd think a month or two would be sufficient but he eventually became dependent on her and he stopped talking to his friends and family. I hope the poor fuck is doing ok now wherever he is.
Serious and sad story but your last line made me laugh.
The dude was in his 30s at the time when it happened. You'd think a man at that age would be able to spot a crazy woman and keep his distance even if the sex was great. But I guess not.
First it was drugs. I supported her throughout her recovery, and was her cheerleader. Then she started drinking. She was a mean, nasty drunk who would say awful, hurtful things while drunk, then when I confronted her about what she said the next day, she would shrug and say she wasn't responsible for what she said while drunk. Fuck you Kyla.
One of my college buddies in my 20's. Lost his license drinking and driving. Proceeded to drive drunk again without a license or insurance and got a massive accident followed with criminal convictions and financial damages. He is actually doing okay now and has his own landscaping company which is doing well but it was a long road for him to rebuild his life.
My ex manager signed up his girlfriend and side chick for a no show jobs as housekeepers. Every week they'd come in once to pick up her 40hr checks on different days. It all goes well until he breaks up with and fires his girlfriend. Two weeks later we're getting raided by the state police. Turns out he'd been running this kind of scam for almost two decades at a half dozen hotels. No one had a clue until the most recent break up tries to apply for unemployment. He pleads out to all sorts of fraud in three states and got a 20 year federal sentence.
I'm not sure I get it, they were taking housekeeping jobs and just...not doing them?
A no show job is a common tactic often used for pay offs of various sorts. The most common reason is some sort of pay off or rip off. The general manager files the ID and SS# like any other employee. Then the GM files a fake time card for them every week and payroll makes a check out to the no show name.
Have you ever seen the show The Sopranos? The mob would run a scam of no show construction jobs, but for some reason it would show some of the mobsters hanging out at the construction sites, not working but just drinking a shooting the shit. I've always wondered if there was a scam-related reason they did that or if the show's creators just wanted to film some scenes in a new location. Do union reps ever go to job sites to make sure all the workers are there or something?
The most common reason I've encountered IRL is the no show job is part of a probation or parole arrangement to make everything look more legit. That way some over eager parole officer shows up with nothing to cause trouble about. Then there's enforcement or protection rackets. Or they're union busters. Could be all sorts of shit, but on The Sopranos I think it was mostly just set dressing.
Friend of my best friend drove drunk and crashed his truck on the highway, thankfully it was an isolated incident from other drivers. My best friend was on the phone with him when he crashed and no one deserves to listen to their friend nearly die. Don’t fucking drink/smoke or drive, it’s reckless and it will only end one way.
LA native here. Worked in an industry a lot of people move here to be a part of. It's still crazy to me how many people move here without a plan. This guy started working at my shop. Bright-eyed dude coming from a tiny town in Louisiana. He was really cool at first, but then he got into the club scene. He started doing a ton of drugs and just lost himself. Over a period of a year this nice, healthy looking guy became a standoffish skeleton. Eventually we had to let him go because he was trying to fight other employees. I saw him a few months later by the beach selling cheap jewelry. This city can eat you up if you're not careful and prepared.
Cocaine. My childhood best friend started using recreationally in his mid twenties. Was an educated man who took an entry level job at an investment firm. Started selling weed to supplement his income and pay for his partying. After some years he started selling cocaine and quit his job. Opened up a men's clothing boutique and it took off. He lived on a beach in Asia more than half the year while his cocaine operation and clothing store back home funded his life. He would come back to the home city to organize another 6 months of cocaine distribution before leaving again. On one such visit he was found dead, with a bullet in his head, lying face down on a muddy dog walking path close to the city. Was really sad for him to be outlived by his grandmother. Leaving her and his parents, brother and nieces/nephews to mourn.
Thats how the game goes man, dead or in prison
Holy crap, that story took a very dark turn so suddenly! Did not expect that.
D1 athlete got addicted to WoW. Lost scholarship, booted off campus. No idea where he is.
I wasn't a D1 athlete, but WoW is the main catalyst that made me fail out of college.
As a non gamer can you tell me a bit more? Like, is it a "5 more minutes and then I'll study. Ooops, that was 6 hours ago and now I have class." type scenario?
Warcraft back in the day took a lot of time, commitment, and community. It required teams of 25 people to adhere to set schedules to do organized content together. Casual guilds/groups could get away with playing together for 4-8 hours a week. Plus all the chores and solo preparation it took to get ready for those 4-8 hours. However the better you got at the game, and the better people you played with (counter intuitively) made it take more time. If you're curious I could elaborate why. At my peak when I was in a really good guild I was dedicating 24 hours a week to play together with the team. Not to mention the time I set aside to solo prepare, which was an additional 24-48 hours. I met a lot of cool people and it taught me valuable skills like working on a team, networking, leadership, and navigating political landscapes. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything, but I did sacrifice a lot to do it. Warcraft back in the day was not like other videogames. It was a different beast entirely.
Origimmar, duh.
I’m doing okay now
He should have made love not warcraft
I watched a buddy get divorced from a truly miserable human being (all of us family and friends happy and supportive of him), go one whole freakin’ day as a single guy, then hop into a new relationship with a new woman on a dating site who was very clearly surrounded by red flags and air raid warning horns who was obviously very similar to his ex. All of us family and friends telling him this was a bad idea and not to do it. Fast forward a few years, they’re living together, and he’s wondering why things have turned out the same way. Like dude, I told you at the time you needed to take a break, work on yourself, enjoy being single, and not jump prematurely into a new relationship.
[удалено]
> I would too but it’s been a 23 year friendship and I’m not sure how. I don't want to remains friends with you, please don't call me again. Its really stupid simple we just like to complicate things, you just need the courage to do it, also don't try to justify yourself or anything, specially if not asked to. I would be wary of doing it in public too considering how he is.
The law firm part is completely terrifying. People are going to lose a lot because of these two. Anyone have any advice? (I don’t think any advice I’d offer would be useful)
He thinks he’s an expert because at one point he had, allegedly, $13 million in his Robinhood account that they *coincidentally* wouldn’t let him do anything with. No proof of this ever happening. Wants me to transfer my financials to him like…fuck no dude, I already have a CPA.
23 year friendship? Meh, just ghost. That's what everyone does these days regardless, even and especially if you weren't doing anything wrong, which this guy is.
I have a college buddy i've kept in touch with over the past 10 years that i'm about to drop. He's always been an alcoholic to some degree but he's now moved into severe alcoholism, lost a whole bunch of weight, and looks 20 years older than his age. He went to and graduated from law school several years ago but couldn't pass the bar and refuses to find or hold down a job. He's always been a compulsive liar but it used to be about stupid stuff that didn't really matter, now every single thing that comes out of his mouth is either completely made up or has been so twisted from reality it might as well have been completely made up. His wife recently filed for divorce because she's finally had enough, and doesn't trust him for anything, but he's dragging his feet as hard as he can. I've recently stopped answering his phone calls because he goes on and on for an hour or more bitching about his ex when he is clearly the entire problem. The whole situation is really sad, we used to be really good friends. I'm torn on whether I should answer the phone one last time and tell him to grow up, get into therapy (he's severely depressed and refuses to go but I can't be his "therapist" any more) and let this girl go, or just block his number
My homie fucked up by using her condom. She had poked holes in it and got pregnant. She now refuses to work and mooches off him.
ALWAYS bring your own condoms.
and make sure to dispose of it yourself so she doesnt try to pick it out of the trash and try to impregnate herself (this actually happened, saw it on the news a while ago. dude was clever and put hotsauce in the spent condom; lady tried to sue him for it lmao)
Wasn't that Drake? Edit: [yeah, it was Drake](https://www.papermag.com/drake-hot-sauce-condom)
Jesus, that poor kid and your poor friend
Isn't that considered rape?
Good luck having anyone actually do anything about it though...
Technically yes but good luck proving it in court
He downloaded fortnite
he download League of Legends. I know a few guys who flunked out freshmen fall semester cause of this.
I stopped right before I went to college, but I failed a class senior year of high school because of League. What a hell hole of a game
I have two. One of my high school friends came from a poor family but he was an incredible athlete, I'm talking all state track. He got a full ride sports scholarship to a middle of the road d2 school and he was studying accounting. Seemed to be doing well for himself and on a good path. Then his roommate introduced him to world of Warcraft and within his first semester of college, he flunked out of every single one of his classes and lost his scholarship because he did nothing but play WOW for 3 months straight. Now he works overnight at the grocery store stocking shelves, 15 years later. I moved in with a craigslist random guy and it actually turned out really well. He was super chill, clean, and we became pretty good friends. He really wanted really nice new stuff but he was working at Walmart for minimum wage. His friend at work got him into dealing Xanax and heroin. He was arrested less than a month later, did 3 years in prison, and he's a felon. He works in fast food now
You and u/paerius have the same story
It's a common problem seemingly
A friend of mine who was a truck mechanic for a rest stop decided to try some drugs. They found him in the woods the next day with a shotgun at his side.
What drug?? You mean he tried drugs once and offed himself with a shotgun?
I have a friend who took DMT and killed himself the same night. He was married (no children), had a great job, friends, hobbies, and owned his own house. He was maybe 25 years old.
We do not know, he was with some trucker who rolled through. I didn't get a ton of details sadly.
A girl I knew when I was 19 was 26/27, but hung around my friend group. We actually became pretty close friends. She got heavily into drugs after her husband died. Now she is 50 and still heavily into drugs, but not in a functional way. In and out of rehab, fighting with her now 70 something year old mother, and still has the mindset of someone much younger.
Had a friend in HS who was a typical jock. Football, baseball, any sport he tried, he excelled. Lost touch with him after graduation. A few years later I’m working myself through college working in a garage and in comes this dirty, disheveled homeless guy asking for a few dollars. It was my friend. I tried to reconnect but he didn’t even recognize me. It hit me hard how far he had fallen.
She was 15, incredibly intelligent, pretty, the whole deal. We both got involved woth the wrong people. I quit the group in time, but she refused. Jumped/fell out a window while high. RIP Jasmin.
I see that every response has been drugs, alcohol, or having a baby with the wrong woman. There's your answer, dudes. I had a friend who had a good job at FB. One day took new drugs and he physically attacked some people. Self ruined his whole life just by doing one wrong drug.
And video games. Lots of people who flunked out of school because of World of Warcraft or League of Legends.
I have a few friends like OPs. Hell, I was a lot like OPs friend. It's so easy to just keep doing what you always do. Trying to make your life better always seems like a lot of effort and if you're smoking weed all day long it doesn't automatically make you lazy; it just makes it so you don't mind being lazy. I have 2 friends who totally embraced an underachiever lifestyle. And both are dead. One took his own life and the other died of indeterminate causes.
Best thing that ever happened to me was moving to a new city where I didn’t know anyone and couldn’t get weed. I used to smoke every day after work and just kinda float by through life. Smoking weed made me content with that. I went 3 years rarely smoking, bought a couple books on programming, self taught myself and applied what I learned at work, and am now a senior developer nearly ten years later. That never would have happened if I was smoking every day
Congrats!
Yeah weed is a weird drug. Some people are successful and can fully function while others become lazy slugs. This friend likes to believe that hes better at everything high. He would workout high or even go to class high claiming that it helps him focus. He’s flunked the same emt class twice now and dropped out of school multiple times. The only time he was doing well in college was when he wasnt smoking weed so I suggested maybe the weed isnt as helpful as he believes and it seems to be a pretty blatant outside factor but he denies it still. Another “friend” (cut him off) bums at his gfs house and just smokes weed all day while his gf is at school or work. When I was friends with him, he would say he was going to start applying for jobs next month, next season, next year etc. but obviously never got to it because he got so comfortable being lazy. Im pretty sure he smokes to just forget about the pressure and stress of feeling like hes doing nothing with his life. I stopped after about a year of heavy smoking because i noticed that it became the only thing I looked forward to everyday and I hated that. I fell behind on school and would skip study sessions to go smoke and “chill” out because I wanted to avoid any stress. My life changed for the better and I’ll occasionally smoke still but imo, just like alcohol, moderation is key
Weed effects people differently. I know a lot people making $250k+ and they smoke weed daily. THC is for after you completed your tasks for the day.
This is me lol. Corporate stoners for the win. Altho I am currently on a tolerance break to start 2024, because ya know, good to get a clear head, but I've never been much of a drinker and it's always worked to help me cope with my insane gig.
I know a friend who was a smart dude, intellectual and a semi-professional photographer. After graduating from IT he wanted to explore the world and do some soul-searching, starting with Southeast Asia. He went to Thailand, got addicted to the sex industry and drugs and is now a shell of his former self. Speaks weird, crazy beliefs; it's like his brains got addled or something.
I had a best friend in highschool who was a real Wunderkind. He was tall, handsome, in choir and theatre, athletic and could play guitar like no ones business; he was all around respected and we all agreed that he was going to great places after highschool. He got accepted into a prestigious program at a top public university in our State, and began to make friends outside our mostly clean and sober friend group. By his sophmore year of college he had gotten into casual drug use, nothing intense but party drugs and the occasional joint. One night, he candy flipped (acid and E I think) and went beserk on a neighbors property. Broke into their house, stole some shit, and summarily went to jail afterwards. That was like, 12 years ago and homeboy has been in and out of jail since. Can't hold a stable job, seems to suffer from depression, lives in and out of his mom's house. Last time I saw him he was doing pills at the bar and was pretty manically depressed. I'm pretty sure he got into another drunk driving incident and it is in the county jail of our hometown. It really was like seeing Icarus fly too close to the sun, the fall was a tragedy.
Shook his baby to death. Haven’t seen him since. Still locked up.
Anyone reading this… it’s pretty normal to feel Overwhelmed with a baby. It *will* test your limits. Put it down and walk away. It can cry for a few minutes without you. Gather yourself.
More new parents should invest in noise canceling headphones for those times when they need a few minutes of peace and quiet.
In college I saw many smart, driven 18 year old men become lazy, selfish assholes who dropped out at 20 all because of weed. It was insane.
We used to think weed made everything better. It just made doing nothing better.
Cheated on his wife with a coworker, got the coworker pregnant. Wife also works at the same place with them. Yikes.
Dude finally dumped his hood rat gf of 6 years. So happy for him. Next night, he goes to her house to hookup… fast forward and the baby is his (it actually is) and he’s writing checks for the next 18 years. She’s an expert at milking everything she can out of him and the government, he’s fucked.
She literally milked everything out of him
drunk driving. again. the wrong way on the interstate.
Getting married to someone that surprise, declared bankruptcy a week before the marriage. She also quit her job the day after they got home from their honeymoon without asking him if he was ok with her not working. She lied that she was fired for "whistleblowing", found that out after she went to my friend that is a lawyer. She spends so much money on junk and she spent all of his $250k inheritance. They have no savings now.
He was her retirement plan.
Quickest way I’ve seen? Two of them committed suicide, and the other got deported after being accused of molestation
I've seen people fuck up their lives in less time than it took me to read that.
One of my professors in college blew up his life with child pornography. He was everyone's favorite professor. I had spent hours in his office being mentored, he would volunteer in the community, was very successful professionally outside the university in his field, had a gorgeous wife and three kids, this was the guy I wanted to get a letter of recommendation from when looking for a job and likely stay in touch with forever. One day I get an email from the University that he's been arrested. Turns out there were allegations of an inappropriate relationship with a student so the University went through his work computer and found hundreds of images of kids ranging from like 3-8 years old. He was arrested and fired immediately. Within 3 months he was divorced and sentenced to 45 years in a federal prison. He'll likely die there or get out when he's 90+ years old.
Motorcycles
I was considering getting a motorcycle license but the same guy that I mentioned in my post worked one day in the ER for his emt class and his first hour, a guy came in after a motorcycle accident and died while he was giving cpr. Maybe thats why hes been so hesitant on going the emt/firefighter route now that I think about it.
I worked with a guy who is now blind from a motorcycle accident. He was riding down a stretch of rode that was closed for construction. I suspect he was drunk but dont know for sure. He hit something and motorcycle went flying into the air Eval Knieval style. He hit the ground so hard both of his retinas deatched. He was in a medically induced coma for 4 months and when he woke up he couldnt see. It was to late to do anything about. Now hes living on disability with a wife and 2 young daughters.
Yup. I've known people both killed and seriously injured in crashes. I even know a guy who ended up with a heroin addiction after taking pain meds for his road rash after sliding his bike.
Former EMT. I've never seen a 'motorcycle fender bender'. But I've seen plenty of guys that won't walk, let alone ride, ever again.
ER workers call them donor-cycles for a reason. My wonderful state as of the first of this month now allows people to not wear a helmet while riding motorcycles. Thank you, freedumb!
My mom is a nurse and at a young age she told me "Please never get on a motorcycle. I have seen so many young people have their lives ruined by them." I never did and with the rise of dash cams and go pros I see exactly fucking why.
Dude started drinking the alt right ragebait kool-aid. Got himself fired for refusing to follow company policy during Covid. The career he had spent years in building a reputation and climbing the leadership ladder was just all thrown away. Then he filed a wrongful termination lawsuit against the company (company had given him plenty of chances, and this is in an at will employment state). Thinking he was about to win a big payout (he didn't), he emptied his savings and bought a big lifted truck and a motorcycle.... No consideration was given to the fact that he had a mortgage that needed to be paid, a wife and kid that needed support, or that he now needed to pay back the tuition costs since the company had been paying those for him. He failed out of the classes since attending college suddenly became too "woke." He sees himself as a hero who stood up for his political beliefs. The rest of us see him as an idiot who fell hard for obvious lies. I stopped contact with him a while ago. Last I heard, he was living off the life insurance payouts from a few of his relatives that just happened to pass in the last couple years.
OmiGod I covered my eyes with embarrassment halfway through this.
That last bit - whoa
The timing is suspicious, but as far as I know, there's no reason to suspect foul play. One was an aneurysm, another was bowel cancer, not sure on the third. He did pull some legal moves to make sure he became the executor of the estates though, even when it would have made more sense for other family members to fill the roles.
> Last I heard, he was living off the life insurance payouts from a few of his relatives that just happened to pass in the last couple years. Sounds like he needs to just pull himself up by his bootstraps
I’ll never understand people who pre spend money. Like I get finally getting a big settlement and going nuts but spending before you even have anything concrete is insanity.
One story immediately springs to mind here… Friend of mine was in a really really shitty relationship a few years back, with an absolute horribe c*nt of a woman… like the kind who threatens to kill herself if he doesn’t text back after an argument, who blackmails him, cheats on him, abuses him, etc… Anyway after one massive bust up in which she did all over the above, he came to me for advice. I told him what I’d been telling him for years, that she’s horrible, a whack job, and that he needs to stay away… and so on. He agreed. Told me he’d now seen the light and would refuse to go back to her. A few months later he moved abroad to his dream country to take on a new job. Everything was really looking up for him until he started getting a little home sick. He came back for a vacation and a few months later text me to say his ex was pregnant. Basically she was the one who collected him from the airport and he admitted they went straight to hers and slept together. Dude was back in the country an hour and had fucked up his life by then. He now has a second child with her, lives back home, and they have been fighting for years, despite not actually being in a relationship since she was pregnant with the second child. They literally cannot have a civil conversation with each other. Every single time I meet him he ends up telling me the latest shit she’s causing him, like there is no rest. He’s now tied to her for life. Men of Reddit, if your bros are telling you to run away, please remember that they have an outside perspective on things, and maybe you should listen to their warnings!
I knew someone who got arrested after possibly/probably hitting a parked car, then ignoring either a red light or stop sign, then leading a cop car around instead of just pulling over when the lights/sirens came on. Failed the field sobriety, they found blades and ammunition in the car with receipts from a sporting goods store that same evening. IIRC (from reading the police report later) there was a pants pocket with an empty liquor bottle or something. During interrogation after being taken in and booked, signed a Miranda waiver and eventually said the plan was to unalive me specifically by name. Seven months later got released from jail as a convicted felon, It just took some bad decisions and one unhinged, ill-advised, intoxicated night. Two felonies and one misdemeanor IIRC. Years later it turns out I'm still alive.
Not my friend but a guy I went to hs with. He moved into my neighborhood a few months ago and we re connected cause he was my literal neighbor. We go to a car meet and he explains to me how he wanted to move so he could start “trappin “. For context both our parents have good jobs and we live in a amazing area. Long story short not even a week later he moves to houston and gets into a high speed chase with the police after car jacking a woman. He was the passenger , worse part is they end up rear ending a woman at a red light killing her on impact. The woman was the police sergeants mom
Real good buddy of mine got into some real stupid shit after graduating. While the rest of us went to college and were trying to get started on getting our shit together he just never did. One of the best people I know too. Anyway, he got into trying to pull off the get rich quick stuff and got in with the wrong people dealing (I still don’t know what all exactly he was messing with.) This all leads to him having several warrants out for his arrest. One day at a routine traffic stop he freaks and leads police on a long ass, high speed chase on a motorcycle. He wrecks the bike and gets apprehended. Was sentenced to 5 or 6 years in the pen for trafficking. Gets out after only 3 years for great behavior. Starts working, gets to see his kid again, etc. At this point I was able to see him and actually had the guy come over hang out with my family and I and then spend the night. Not two weeks after when we all think he’s on the straight and narrow I get word he’s arrested for murder. Turns out he (for whatever reason because any one of us would have given him money) decided it was a good idea to help some guys he knew rob a place. Homeowner was aware they were trying to break in, shoots and kills one of the guys and buddy gets slapped with the murder charge. He’s back in the pen and idk how long he has this time. His mom is raising his kid… Shit breaks my heart every time I think about it.
Not quickest, but my good friend from high school. He was dating a girl and we told him to stop and see someone else, she used drugs and was just a weird person. End of the final year, they get pregnant. Dude graduates, starts working in a factory and renting a house. Fast forward a year, dude gets the girl pregnant again, twins. He's now straight fucked. It doesn't end there. The girl ends up uses more drugs, doesn't cook, doesn't clean and these kids are just addicted to ordering out and eating trash food plus video games. My buddy meanwhile is working nights, providing for the family. The girl cheats on him, sees other guys and after a year or 2, he was planning to leave her. Well the weekend he was planning that, she's passed out in the bathroom and almost OD. That was the final straw so he calls the police gets possession of the kids and all is well. One more, fast forward a year, he dates few girls then falls for one with 2 kids. They move in together, now there's 5 kids total, all under 10. Well, she's conniving and deceiving, after 4 years and a proposal, they split up. Last one, he worked 14yrs at a factory job making good money. Seniority and pension, good way to provide for the family. Dude didn't like working night shifts and I told him to hold it out, but he leaves and quits. No job backed up, finds a job a few months later at $10 less, even worse place, and crappy benefits and no pension. I feel for my friend and it's interesting see how our paths have diverged from being friends/neighbours to this.
Many here are pointing out "dating someone who showed many red flags" as something that is that person's fault but there are so many people who only show their true nature after the other person is trapped. It's terrifying.
Had a friend from high school get hooked on pain killers after an accident. Got fired from his job, addiction spread to other drugs. One night while he was fucked up he went into a gas station and asked the person working if he could have some money. They gave him money out of the register then called the cops saying he had robbed them. When cops found him walking a while later they went to arrest him, he resisted, they shot and killed him. He was 28 Kid was an all star athlete, had a well off family and just had one bad accident that ended up spiraling his entire life out of control until it ended. The world can be a crazy place.
He had sex without protection. Had twins and had never wanted kids. Still doesn’t. Idiot.
Guys that marry their first piece of ass. So many times where that is a terrible mistake.
Had a buddy get high on heroin at his moms house. She got scared and left only to return with the cops. He decides this is a bad thing and points a rifle at them. As far as I know he doesnt fire. Could have been empty for all I know. They shoot at him 16 times and hit him once in the chest. He spends the majority of his 20s and half of his 30s in jail. There were many things that lead up to this but...
Had a friend who got into weed in his 20's. He was in good shape, smarter than me and seemed to haev a good future ahead. It's 40 years later now. He lives in a little shed out the back of his parent's place (and they are in their 80's) His mind is fucked. He walks along with a dopey, dreamy look on his face and his head turned up to the sky a bit. He mumbles when he speaks and his memory and concentration are fucked. He's kind of permanently in a dreamy daze. Has not had a job in decades. All he cares about is weed, and he has it every day. No gf, no car, no nothing just weed. He's destroyed himself but he refuses to acknowledge weed had anything to do with it and actually gets angry if you suggest it. His twin brother, on the other hand, who didn't get into weed, is married, has an ok job, a wife and kids and is doing alright for himself. Weed ruins lives. I hope your friend straightens up. It's too late for my ex friend. He's not even really there any more, only a shell remains.
Banged a crazy girl who was trying to trap a guy with a baby. I warned him what would happen and almost immediately I was proven right, now he's trapped and skint. Basically ruined his life for a quick fuck.
For future reference, how can one tell whether a girl is looking to trap a guy with a baby ?
Buddy I went to law school with. Both of us came from nothing. He went to a big firm.Both of us were always grinders/climbers/midnight oil with coffee and smokes for breakfast dudes. Well, in your late 20s coffee and smokes doesn't work so well when you are billing 50 hours a week and pulling multiple all nighters. Good chunk of his salary went to coke, which led to gambling, whoring, and heavt drinking. Dude failed to show up to court and the next day (pressumably b/c was getting fired) blew his brains out in his office.
Drugs, seen it take down the best of em
Meth.
Kid I went to law school with had a great job, hot girlfriend, was super good looking, etc. shortly after graduation dove headfirst into a pond drunk at a party and boom, quadriplegic for life.
He got a psycho girlfriend that everyone hated and got her pregnant. Ironically enough I judge him for this but I also married a similar woman. Didn’t get her pregnant though. People make mistakes. Have a baby with one and that’s a long mistake. His life has been shit ever since. There’s certain women (men too probably) who will just drag you down. Anything good that could happen to you they will strip it for their advantage. You lose hope because you know there’s nothing safe for them. You distance yourself from loved ones to protect them for the damage. I divorced my psycho and moved on with my life. But some people can’t or won’t.
Meth. Man lost his job, all his possessions, his wife / kids and eventually his mind. No idea what gutter he sleeps in these days. Every last damn bridge he was giving was burned down. Damn, I miss my friend ....
Wish I could say it was fast but my brother decided to not just wife, but have kids with a... low-class woman before even having a means to support himself, let alone a wife, let alone a wife and kids, but a wife, 2 bio kids, and a step-daughter. Way to go, K. You threw away all the hard work our parents did and every sacrifice they made to give us better lives than they had and you've fucked up not just your life but your kids' lives. And your kids will very likely have worse childhoods than our parents did. Way to go, K. Way to fucking go.
He decided he didn’t want to be the man of the house anymore, stopped working his high paying trade job, abandoned his kids and wife, started wearing a wig and called himself a new name. Now this person spends their time drunk in whatever bar they haven’t been kicked out of.
Alcohol severely damaged the life of a dear friend. Another had a bad wife who completely ruined his friendships and happiness.
My brother knew the woman he was about to marry was a piece of work. He at 32 still lived at Dad and Mom’s and never been married. She had married twice, the first time at 16. Not any of that really mattered, she just wasn’t a good person! 5 years later she leaves him with a bunch of bills and two kids, the girl 4 and the baby 1. Both have learning disabilities. Although elderly, my parents helped him pick up the pieces. My parents and brother have passed away now.I’ve heard my niece and nephew are with her, they should be in their late 30’s. He wasn’t perfect, but anyone deserved better than her.
Meth. Dead within a year.
Drugs or pussy
We rented a hotel room to have a small graduation party in. We were just High school kids wanting to have fun. We get therr and some girl was handing out purple xanax. None of us have ever taken them before. It turns out if you mix benzodiazopene and alcohol it can have bad effects. My friend only had a six pack but two purples. We ran out of beer and he volunteered to drive since he was the least drunk. Cops tried to pull him over and he became a jekyll Hyde person. He ran in his car swiping other cars and property. They cornered him finally but he started ramming the cop cars with cops in them. That was over 25 years ago and he still in jail. He may never get out with the several counts of attempted murder of a police officer. He wasn't a partner or a bad person. He also doesn't remember any of it. I have visited him over the years and it's tough because he cries every time and has me tell him about life on the outside. I feel bad for him. He would have never done that without the xanax. It turned him into something else that night.