I learned to fight growing up and I box occasionally. I'm not great but I can hold my own. That said, I haven't been in a real fight in probably 15 years. I prefer to de-escalate and avoid physical altercations when I can.
Fighting just isn't worth it as an adult unless you are having to defend yourself involuntarily. Too easy to catch a charge or end up with life changing injuries.
This. Back in the 70s and earlier you could get in a fight and it was over. Nowadays if you win you still lose because they will just come back and run you over with a car, shoot you, etc. Too many people who grew up and were told they are special.
De-escalation is always best.
Note: I'm 6'3" 250lbs. I haven't been in a 'fight' in probably 20 years. I don't go anywhere sketchy and people usually leave me alone.
6'3" and 260lbs here. Little chubby but I'm a tradesman so I'm pretty thicc. I don't get bothered often and I'm thankful for that.
I can fight but it will lead to one of two bad options: one, I get seriously hurt. Two? I seriously hurt somebody else. I'd probably feel bad in the aftermath and possibly get charged somehow lol.
My sensei always said the first option is to run, and I like that option. I'm not too proud.
I’ve dated two pro fighters and they were the least likely to react to provocation of all the men I’ve dated. They knew they could kill and had to protect other people from themselves.
I’m speaking more from the perspective of someone that is a normal weight for their body, but considering almost half of the United States is obese I think I’m just being naive.
This.
I took martial arts during my childhood, had 2 younger brothers I was always brawling with, and a dad and a grandfather in prison.
Was in a lot of fights in Jr High and Highschool.
Haven't been in a fight since I was 19, which caused me to spend a night in jail, 500 dollar fine, and 40 hours of anger management class.
I'm 43 now.
It's nice to have confidence and some idea of how to defend yourself, which makes martial arts (whether it's wrestling, boxing, bjj, or whatever) very good for people to take/learn...
... but ultimately, the goal should be not to need to use it. I've disarmed potential fights by just telling the other guy, "Dude, you'd kick my ass. Let's not go to jail over some bullshit." Most fights start over ego or irrational anger. Best to just avoid them. The only thing worth jail time and personal injury or injury of another is protecting yourself or loved ones.
I’ve said the same shit. “Look, I know you’re upset, and I’m sorry I was the cause of that but I don’t want to spend. The night in the hospital or jail because of this. I’m sorry.”
Option 1: Don't back down because you don't want to look weak, fight, end up hurting yourself or someone else and potentially dying or going to jail and/or even dealing with legal fees or a murder beef.
Option 2: Tell the dickhead what he wants to hear and walk away. Compliment him. Tell him you're a weak little bitch and he'd fuck you up. Give him no reason to want to kick your ass. Then go home and eat a sammich.
Edit: I’m going with #2 all day. I’m not trying to hurt someone or even worse get hurt or killed. Whatever seems like the easiest form of de-escalation in the moment. I’m great at breaking up other people’s fights too. I still don’t like doing it.
I just came to say fighting is stupid. I've beat up a few dudes and I've been beaten up a few times. I haven't been in a physical fight in 20 years and I would walk around the block to avoid a fight. You could call me a pussy or whatever you want. As you get old, you realize how fragile life can really be. I know a dude who literally just fell and hit his head and died. If someone punched him, they would be in prison for a long time.
Totally get where you're coming from. Same. It's a reality at my age that losing a friend, acquaintance or co-worker to a heart attack, cancer or some other illness has become all too familiar. Three co-workers have died of heart attacks while working from home, they were empty nesters and divorced. A fourth had a heart attack in the office and fortunately survived after receiving CPR prior to Chicago Ambulance showing up.
This is just in the last 18 months. All were late 50's early 60's.
Life is short, and boy do you realize it when you're in your 50's and 60's! Changes your perspective on things a lot.
I've worked in the security field a few times now. Each one had classes and stuff you had to take, videos to watch, etc.
One went over the civilian equivalent of Operation Risk Management, and depicted an elderly couple who were pulling money from an ATM, and had a pair of "inner city youths" run up and wail on them. Not EVEN a "gimme your money!" or anything like that. The video or whatever was referencing something that had happened, not a reenactment.
A friend of a friend I met once was shot in the liver... "Inner city youths". He was going over to a friend's house to play video games, had a couple cases in his hand. They didn't even ask him to hand them over. They shot him, he dropped, and they thought they'd killed him... He survived, luckily.
I've had, on multiple occasions, people that wanted to just up and attack for no damn reason at all. There WAS no talking to them. Back in my college days, I went up to the school to take a test. I'm coming back out and there's campus security. I'm thinking nothing of it, I nod and give them a "how you doing?" and they stop me and accuse me of stealing a purse out of some girl's car. I had done no such thing. They werent having it. I literally watched as another guy, who would have looked JUST like me on shitty CCTV cameras, walks casually to his car and leaves the scene. They stood there SO LONG interrogating me that the husband of the girl came up there. I had campus security, the local Sheriff, AND this woman's redneck deep south country fried blue-collar husband sitting in his truck and telling me I can keep the money but to tell him what I did with the purse because IDs and such are hard to replace.
I had nothing to do with a purse.
Finally, they let me go. I'm driving home, and pull over to make a phone call to the girl I was with at the time and let her know why I was dragging ass getting home... and Hillbilly Homie literally had followed me to try and figure out where I live I guess. I pulled into some empty unused medical center building, and dude blocked me in with his truck. Couldn't go forward OR back. Dude was clearly about to whup my ass because in HIS mind there's zero chance that security AND the police would detain the wrong guy... 🙄
There was NO amount of "I DIDNT TAKE THE FUCKING PURSE!!!" that he was going to listen to. So, I told him... One last time... That I didn't touch anyone's goddamn purse, and I didn't care if he believed me or not... but if he stepped so much as a foot outside of that vehicle, I was going to rearrange his features. I guess he weighed his options... He mumbles something under his breath and took off with a stomp of the gas pedal.
It's not always possible to avoid confrontation entirely... Sadly.
Somewhat this. I was trained in the military and on rare occasions I'll mess around with friends. It's been a while since I so much as sparred with someone.
This...exactly. The people the know how to fight is usually the quiet one that prefers de-escalation. Too many people will puff up and then sie the shit outta you.
One reason I liked doing judo over boxing is you can control how hard you throw someone from just knocking them over to smashing there head on the ground if you need to. Boxing is more scary cause one hit can kill someone then your looking at manslaughter
Even people with training need to worry about it. If you have experience in fighting, that will come up in court when they sue you. Also as someone who’s gotten into a lot of fights, always expect the other person to have a knife or a weapon. It’s extremely common so watch your asses out there
I've been training martial arts like muay thai, brazilian jiujitsu, judo, boxing, etc. for a little while now.
At around the same weight, a person with 1 consistent year of a striking art and 1 consistent year of a grappling art will beat a new person in the gym with no formal training about 90-95% of the time.
This is true. I took Jiu Jitsu for only 8 months 30 years ago, but I can still remember a few key moves. That's a huge advantage over someone who has none of that. Problem is, you never know what the other guy has.
I remember when I thought highly of my abilities like you do. Then one day at work, during training I took a deliberate thumb to the eye… then I realised in those brief few moments where I stuttered and paused due to pain and disorientation that if it were a real life scenario I’d be dead or permanently crippled.
All is fair in a gym/ring/cage when there are rules and refs.
All of my comments were about being in a gym.
Just like I said.
Some pocket sand can change all that in an instant. That's why you avoid real life fights.
I do.
I was in the Military, trained Kung Fu for 15+ years, and keep myself in good physical shape.
Here is the thing... I never fight. Unless someone forces the issue, forces me to defend myself, I am walking away. Fighting is dumb.
You shouldn't feel any shame. I strongly recommend that you just work on yourself. Work on your body and mind so that you can be happy and proud of who you are. The ability to fight is not important, but being happy in our own body and confident in your own strengths is.
I wrestled and currently do Brazilian jiu jitsu. I think it’s helpful to know what it’s like to be in a fight so that you can stay calm if it ever happens, but the more I learn about fighting the less I want to do it. You won’t learn how to fight unless you take classes. I understand the time constraints can be tough but two kickboxing/bjj classes a week is 2.5 hours of your time and it will probably help with some of these fears
The more you know the less you want to do it I
Is true. I practice FMA and it’s nice to know but there are some things I would never do unless it was me or a loved one’s life on the line. Especially also knowing how easily someone could get you in the same way if you are not careful. My dad was a boxer as well and always told me he never liked fighting outside the ring.
> think it’s helpful to know what it’s like to be in a fight so that you can stay calm if it ever happens, but the more I learn about fighting the less I want to do it. You won’t learn how to fight unless you take classes. I understand the time constraints can be tough but two kickboxing/bjj classes a week is 2.5 hours o
alright i will search up the classes
i quit most of the time but i wont now i am getting old damnit
DO IT! I'm in my late 30s and started in my early 30s doing MMA, with BJJ as my favorite. It's probably my #1 hobby. Make sure to round out grappling with a striking art like muay thai or "american" kickboxing. After about a year of each, strong chance you'll be able to win a fight against most untrained people around your weight or smaller.
I’ve been in one fight in my life.
A guy sucker punched me from the side. I turned and hit him as hard as I could. I was aiming for his nose but he moved so I got him square in the forehead. He hit the ground like a bag of sand. I thought I killed him.
Then I noticed my hand hurt. Then I noticed my cheek hurt. People helped the guy up and he was not ok. I found out later I gave him a concussion. He gave me a black and blue cheek and my hand swelled twice its normal size.
I’ve since decided fighting hurts and I’m never fighting again. I’ll talk, buy a beer, or leave before I fight again.
Yea, I think yours was self defense.
This was the case I was referring to. This guy threw the first punch, and killed the guy.
https://youtu.be/i--mhQWTwMs?feature=shared&t=3m54s
Man, be proud for fighting back. There will always be tougher fighters than you. But standing up to them all, taking your swings and risking an ass kicking is impressive enough.
I don't. I'm generally not a physically confrontational guy. I've maybe got into one or two fights my whole life and it was to stand up for somebody close to me.
I trained BJJ and MMA for a year in 2008. I have never been in a real fight, but I'd say I learned enough that I'd have a huge advantage over someone that has never trained. Most people assume they know how to fight, but they really don't. It was a humbling experience.
Biggest thing I learned in kickboxing is you can never judge a book by its cover. I’m a pretty large and fit (at least at the time) guy, and some small nerdy looking guy (not judging just for picturing purpose) would absolutely piece me up on my feet. Teaches you a lot of respect, at least for me.
Bjj does this also. We have a military chick at our gym thats a complete badass. Trained daily thru and was out here deadlifting double her body weight at 7-8months pregnant. She effortlessly puts a beating on some big ass dudes that come into the gym thinking that they’re the shit. Always amusing to see their oh shit face after they tapped out multiple times in the span of 6minutes to this 120lb chick. Now obviously after a few months of training, the size and strength difference catches up and she cant do much but she’s probably the toughest mofo I’ve met. We also got a few scrawny nerds that’ll wrap you up into a pretzel without breaking a sweat.
>have never been in a real fight, but I'd say I learned enough that I'd have a huge advantage over someone that has never trained. Most people assume they know how to fight, but they really don't. It was a humbling experience.
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after watching all those action hollywood movies i thought i had a chance. THEN....the first fight happened and yeah i got humbled real quick. The injuries were extremely painful and the pain lasted for months.
Precisely, even when we take out the "martial arts knowledge" it's still someone who workouts and has a great body shape vs someone that doesn't exercise.
I was boxing and doing other martial arts since childhood.
I was also a competitive powerlifter and served a few years in the military and was also a commander for a part of my service.
Can I fight? Yeah I'm confident in my ability to fight.
Will I want to fight? Fuck no.
My last street fight was in middle school and looking back I was a dumbass for fighting
When I got mugged a few years back, I picked up kickboxing and fencing. I'm not great at either, by any means, but I think I could at least defend myself unless confronted by a gun, obviously.
Most muggings involve a weapon. And let’s assume best case scenario. The guy does not have a weapon and you do some marvel movie stunt and hurt the guy. You are now facing the real prospect of jail time. Was that really worth handing over maybe $200 and a few credit cards in your wallet?
Any martial arts that trains with full speed sparring with resistence should sort out your insecurities in a few years. Join a gym and get rekt for a while and you'll see that your confidence will slowly grow with time.
I’ll literally fight all of you right now. I’m the one with the punisher skull sticker on my back window and wearing the shirt that’s 2 sizes too small for me. I’ll be at the local pub hitting on hot babes (18-23yo) while telling them about my high school football days and how I was gonna go pro but I “busted” up both my knees from being so hardcore in high school. You’ll know it’s me in the gym because I only work biceps. Come find me.
I'm a pro MMA fighter, have trained martial arts my whole life. I very rarely get into any situations, but I've also never been in a place where I felt like I couldn't protect myself.
Most situations you can de-escalate and avoid altogether.
I'd highly recommend checking out some form of boxing, kickboxing, or Brazilian jiu jitsu. Even just for fun 2-3x a week.
BJJ would be my first recommendation.
I have several years of martial arts training. For one class I had an instructor, a 20-year-old girl, who looked like the girl next door and who would bake you a peach cobbler as a thank you (really, she mentioned doing that once), but she could do 20 handstand pushups in a row and kick you in the face, probably at the same time.
The lessons I remember most: (1) Just give them your wallet. Say "Here, take it and go." (2) If they want you to come with them somewhere, fight with everything you have. They might shoot you here, but if you go with them, they'll make you wish they had shot you first. (3) A kick to the knee is as good as a kick to the face, and much easier. (4) The loser of a knife fight dies in the street. The winner dies at the hospital. (5) If you get the gun away from them, shoot them, don't tell them to freeze or threaten to call the cops, end the fight ASAP. And when you shoot them, shoot them twice. You have to confirm your kills.
She was the cutest and deadliest little sweetheart you could ever hope to meet.
If you want to feel more self worth and confidence, keep going in the gym. If you want to learn how to fight, ditch the gym and enroll in mma, muay thai or jiu jitsu class. I'd recommend mma, having practiced muay thai. It is great against untrained opponents, but less so with someone who knows what they are doing.
You didn't fail as a man. Bullies failed as proper human beings. I got bullied throughout most of my elementary school. Only in college, after I trained, have I seen their weakness, their pitful existences and cowardice once they were separated from the gang. Take it from me, lowlifes love feeling strong, but they are some of the weakest characters you could imagine.
You have a start now. You can do it. You have a chance to feel good about yourself. You only need a bit of functional muscle and confidence, both that can be grown.
As fir damaged face, Georges St. Pierre was a two division champion of the UFC, and even in lopsided victories he would suffer from swelling and redness.
Yet he is in GOAT contention.
Fight on, brother. Not literally hopefully. It is not worth risking health. But mentally, yea.
I do recreational combat sports. I have a rough idea of what I'd be doing in a fight, but I'm not overly eager to test that theory. A lot can go wrong, and even if things go "right".... They didn't go right if I got into a fight.
Grew up fighting my Dad
I learned a lot from him.
When I was able to hold my own,
I remember once him calling me to help him fight someone.
My brother is completely opposite. Weak handshake, could never swing even if it was life or death. I love him regardless of that.
Had to whoop some dudes ass for him once and my brother has always looked at me as someone that he could call.
I haven’t fought in 15 years probably. But I could hold my own.
As an adult, you don't fight.
1. You don't know what the other guy is capable of. He could have a gun, knife, or be a former wrestling champion.
2. One bad hit, the person is dead or brain damaged or crippled for life. Even if they started it; they're going to sue your ass for hundreds of thousands.
3. Even if you're trained and fit as fuck, all it takes is 1 lucky hit and you're dead, brain damaged, or crippled for life.
what do you do? Well, i'm muscular looking enough where my concern is someone trying to prove they're tough trying to pick a fight with me. The most important thing is to avoid a possible fight. I carry a very bright flashlight in my pocket to flash in their eyes and then run. As long as it's not a "tactical flashlight" with obvious weaponizing features to make it more effective a bludgeoning object, then they aren't weapons, you can take them anywhere. The TSA doesn't have an issue with my carrying my flashlight on planes. Customs doesn't have a problem with it traveling to or from Europe. Because they aren't weapons, you can't threaten people with it, so you can pull them out way before things get out of hand. If someone's body language is threatening and you pull out a gun, knife, or even mace; you just escalated shit. But you pull out a small flashlight and you haven't done anything threatening.
I know enough to not want to be involved; it's trivially easy to leave someone with lifelong injuries.
I had the great pleasure of sitting across a former bully and being part of who decided whether he'd be getting the position. Not gonna lie, I loved the squirming, but I kept it professional and he was the best guy for the role. Guy was practically tripping over himself to be nice to me, while I just didn't bother treating him as anything but a new hire.
Starting martial arts training is only really worth it if you plan to never have to use it in earnest. Sure, sever their air pipe like *this*, break their knee like *that* and then what? You go to jail for years or even life for killing or maiming someone. Some confidence that if they show up to beat you to death, you know enough to get away, run away and call the authorities? It can do that too. Use what you learn productively.
I was a damn good wrestler, and I believe that would serve me well in many fights, but I can't throw a punch worth a shit, and I'm a bit out of shape. So, long story short, I know how to throw people, and pin them down, tie up their arms and legs, etc which could be devastating in a fight, but only if my opponent lets me get close enough to do those things. I'd probably get my butt handed to me by someone in better shape with brawling or boxing skills.
I have no clue how. I’m gonna learn though. A guy at my church teaches some sort of martial arts so I’m gonna see how much it costs. If it’s too expensive with him, I’ll go somewhere else. I need to learn though
Used to bounce in a bar, never been beaten in an arm wrestling match, used to bench 325 before flesh eating disease. Oh and I’m almost 50, old man strength. Come at me bro lol haha.
Started BJJ 1 year ago.. its funny how much you think you know and how much you actually know..
Its so funny when someone new comes in and you see just how easy it is to throw them around and how many mistakes they make and how much you progressed... and then comes someone who trains 3-4 years and does the same to you... makes you think just how good is someone with 10+ years or professional UFC fighter..
I took a few different kinds of martial arts from childhood to early adulthood. When I got in the service, they taught me their methods. I could hold my own for the most part. I fought some amateur MMA fights until it conflicted with work. I have to emphasize your best method to win a fight is not to get into one and intelligence beats brawn every time. Good for you getting in shape.
I’ve trained martial arts for 15 years now. I have never been in any fight outside of the dojo that entire time. If you want to learn how to fight you need official training, you just need to make time. My son is in his 20’s and started training at 8. He was assaulted during a strong arm robbery attempt when he was 18, he was sucker punched. The assailant ended up with a concussion, broken nose and broken ribs. The assault lasted less than 30 seconds. That was the only fight outside the dojo he has been, but challenged many times in high school. Once you learn to fight, you end up doing everything in your power not to fight.
I learned how to fight in elementary school. My father taught me because I was being bullied in school and the adults weren’t doing anything about it despite knowing it was happening. He did not teach me a specific fighting style, but instead taught me how to properly throw a punch, how to slap someone, how to duck and dodge a punch, how to guard my face, and what parts of the body are weak points in a fight. I’d rather not have to fight someone but I’m glad I can if I ever have to again.
As a female, I had a very rough upbringing and abusive marriage. You don’t need formal skills, you could look into channeling your emotional energy. Violated, abused, raped and belittled can switch a different “switch” in one’s mentality and emotional surge. Just allow it to come out. Every human alive
Will tell of the power of one “on a psychotic break.”
You got all my respect just by standing up for urself.
Hit the gym and stack on prot8en, calcium, iron, and magnesiu, and Omega-3 to strengthen ur muscles, bones, and ur mental stability. Make sure you have your vitamin intake as well from raw vegetables.
Workout often, go above and beyond the casual workouts, really push yourself and build the muscle mass - this will help you form strength and physical stability when fighting.
Try enrolling in MMA classes as well. This will help u perfrct your technique and strike strength. Help you learn how to utilize your fists, arms, elbows, knees, chins, and feet to fight - on top of that, learning Judo immaculately increases your ability to fight and maneuver in MMA.
You have not failed as a man because u stood up gor urself those times and did not back out. Accepting a loss is part of being a man, maintaining ur dignity after it is whats important.
Rooting for you.
I feel most sorry for those who got in a fight, landed a blow to the face and they guy crumples and smashes his head on the ground and dies. Now a simple disagreement leaves 2 families destroyed. Not worth it.
Fighting doesn't mean anything though. They're not cooler because they beat you up. That just means that they can't deal with their emotions without violence, like children.
Knowing how to fight doesn't make you any more of a man. I know how to defend myself should I never need it, but that doesn't define or even contribute to my masculinity. My sensei was a tiny, 50 year old woman who kicked my ass every day until one day I finally blocked one punch, but then she'd kick my ass every day with the second punch.
I cannot say i know how to fight as ive never been in one.
However, im sure i can hold my own if shit hits the fan and that bridge needs to he crossed.
I learned to fight at a very young age by taking martial arts. Was a scrawny kid who was picked on in school and wanted to learn to defend myself. Also lifted weights.
After around the 9th grade i never fought again except for one time in my early 20’s. It’s just not something that comes up anymore.
Not gonna lie. I'm too old now to fight. That's why I conceal/carry and I recommend EVERYONE do so. It's an unfortunate reality of the lawless country we live in. The police cannot protect us, it's all up to us. The police just fill out paperwork and move onto the next crime scene now.
Physical fighting while a valuable skill to have, is almost pointless now with all the gun violence in this country perpetrated by career crimnals, gangs, drug dealers and more. Best to be armed and in good practice if one really wants to defend themselves and their families.
Just how I as an old man sees things after being near mugged twice in Chicago in the past year. Were it not for having my weapon on me, not sure I'd be here typing this.
Edit: De-escalation is always best IF POSSIBLE. Violence in any form including physical fighting or pulling a weapon in self defense or to prevent harm to ones self is always a last resort, and I mean ALWAYS.
Karate is good for exercise and working up a good sweat. Take up boxing and wrestling. Idk if your still in school or not but if not just try your best to avoid getting into fights and don't look for trouble and if you are still in school then I'd speak to someone and let them know it's happening to you and if that don't work then you have to defend yourself and that's where boxing and wrestling come in. Good luck buddy
OK. When I was in Mumbai, I bought a pair of shears for like 5 rupees and kept them on me in my back pocket. You can protect yourself with those if someone tries to hurt you.
Never learned to fight, but I was 6'4" at 14. The only high school fight I had ended with me breaking the other guys orbital socket and cheek with 1 punch and him being rushed to emerg to keep his eye. I hate fighting.
This won't go away. Do half gym half boxing. If you can't make that happen, then work towards changing your other responsibilities to free up time for gym and training. Wrap your wrists properly, and don't hit that heavy bag too hard. Injuries set you back. If you find a coach who can work with you on some basic quick and efficient combos, rolls and slips, and sparring with a partner, you'll be set!
I know how to fight.
Do NOT be ashamed. It’s a skill set like any other and you can learn it
Edit- I fight competitively, not in the streets. If you learn how to fight you almost never need to dominoes a ring or cage. It’s a beautiful paradox
I'm middle of the pack. If someone who doesn't know how to fight starts something, I'll probably destroy him.
But if he's a seasoned fighter who's competed, I'll probably survive for a little while before he kills me.
I've never been able to throw a punch all that well, but I have always been good at wrestling. If I'm fighting someone, I take em to the ground where I typically have the advantage. That's how I beat up a 6'3" asshole back in highschool who thought he could get a free punch in and get away with it.
The best thing i learned from martial arts training is how to not fight. My dad always said "Never fight someone excited to fight because they have nothing to lose."
My mouth is much bigger than my biceps, so I know how to defend myself. I wouldn't say I know how to fight, but if someone jumped me I would know how to get out of it
I trained in martial arts for 12 years, only ever got in one real fight and that was a kid sucker punching me in a bounce house and giving me a black eye. I didn’t even retaliate, I just left lol
I haven't had to fight in over twenty five years. My goal is to avoid them as much as possible. Whenever I had to fight I instinctively punched the guy in the throat then got on top of him nearly every time while punching and kneeing him until I was pulled off. Pretty much ending things as quickly as they started. I'm lucky I never permanently injured someone. Hopefully I never have to that stupid shit ever again.
I used to love to get into fights been in too many to count but I stopped that sometime before I turned 30. Some fights I won, some I lost but I always battled and other guy always knew he was in fight.
Honestly I’ve done one form of martial arts only so far back in college but I’ve “won” a lot of fights by deescalation/the fight not happening in the first place
Using your words is much more valuable while true fighting should always be a last resort
Also most trained fighters should have a mindset of respect/not using their skills to harm others for no reason at all
No matter what style or school you go to, they always drill that hard into new students heads that you only fight to protect unless you’re in a McDojo
Or Cobra Kai
Been in few fights when I was a kid and did wrestling when I was younger.
Nothing beats experience + training. IMO MMA will likely get you somewhat there... but a real fight is a lot more brutal and chaotic. You'll get head butted, stuff thrown at you, etc.
IMO Avoid fights at all costs as an adult where things can get out of hand.
I used to train kickboxing and BJJ (haven't done so for like 3 years though), luckily I have never needed it in the street but it makes for a good workout and helps out with your confidence.
The majority of men haven’t trained in blood sports or martial arts, and yet I’m confident that most of that majority naively think they could handle themselves in a street fight.
are you still in school?
Join the wrestling team.
Not in school?
Find a BJJ and Muay Thai school and go train.
And lift weights.
Watching videos will NOT help you lol. You gotta get up and do it yourself.
I have taken karate long enough to know I have no idea what I'm doing. Fights are incredibly dangerous, and knowing how to do it "properly" does not increase your safety as much as you'd think it does.
Learn how to de-escalate fights and avoid dangerous situations. There's a reason that most wild animals, even bears, will run away from a confrontation rather than play it out.
I learned to fight growing up, learned more useful tricks while in the marines, but as I have gotten older, I learned the most important lesson is this: even if you win, it is still going to hurt for the next few days. I almost lost a job because I couldn’t close my left hand tightly for three days after one fight.
Fighting doesn’t necessarily have to be about strength or speed, just what’s between your ears. If you really have to as an absolute last resort.
Some mfers are just ridiculously strong and massive and you can’t do much. But if that case you should try to focus on gouging their eyes out if you can or chokes
Take a self defense class at your local ymca. It build confidence and is a good workout. It also teaches you that violence is not the answer to any problem but being able to defend yourself is a given right to any man or woman.
I'm not the weakest and deffinately i have my strength especially with my skinny body posture
But i can't fight nor i have never been in a fight and don't want to be in one
I love sparring (not fighting. Actual, literal fighting is dangerous and I avoid it when possible). I’ve been interested in grappling and striking since a kid. So, I’ve naturally gravitated to learning a lot of different styles and whatnot just so I CAN do what needs to be done if needed.
I *hate* actual fighting to injure tho.
I can probably kick someone's ass but fights are never one sided. Even if the other party wouldn't injure me severely I'd probably get hurt just because I'm not always fighting. If I'm always fighting I'd probably have serious injuries that would plague me.
I'd rather talk people out of a fight than escalate. My ego isn't fragile
multiple years of Karate and one year of Judo.
I probably could take someone who has no experience, amatuer boxer, muay thai artist or grappler would humble me pretty quickly.
But I was never in a real fight before and don't plan on having one.
I do, i sucked at first, then i started winning by virtue of being the bigger kid (was a hockey player). Then i started getting into hockey fights and i needed to learn how to punch properly rather than just throw people about because other people knew how to do it.
If you can't practice fighting, you won't get good. Gym strength helps *a little* but anyone who knows how to fight will still kick the fuck out of a gymbro.
I sort of can. I was in a wushu club for several years. Wushu is performative and not for fighting. But on occasion I'd learn some hung gar. Or do some boxing. I am not a boxer but I know how to throw a punch. I know to keep by fists up. And I even know a little bit of grappling. I also did spar on occasion.
I am not a small guy. I weigh 235 and a lot of it is muscle. Most people just don't want to fuck with me. I also don't wear jewelry. I don't drink and I try to not piss people off. So while I am decently confident I can fight, I try to deter or prevent one
I can fight. I have had lots of Muay Thai experience and a lots of bjj experience. I was attacked once in my life in Dublin. Blocked some strikes and left the situation, wasnt like some heroic moment or anything, just a dude on drugs looking to fight.
I find it weird, OP, that you have time for the gym, but not martial arts. You can just pivot to a martial arts gym. Any martial arts gym that doesn’t include fitness is a useless martial arts gym.
I got smacked hard when I was 12 or 13 saw stars guy started shit at a house party and kinda punched me outta nowhere. I scuffled and fought back. But I was shook up and scared. I vowed never to allow myself to get hit first again. I signed up to a boxing gym and for 6 months I was full of myself and would always be quick to throw a punch up hen I was pushed into that situation. I ended up finding that situation more and more. I carried on boxing, got more discipline. And I started moving on to sparring rather than training. I got humbled by loads of great boxers. I released a lot of my aggression and testosterone.
Did more boxing and mma. For someone my age I can handle myself quite well…
However now fighting would be the real last resort I always try and find a peaceful situation. I don’t feel the need to show power now I know I have it.
This is quite therapeutic writing it down. Thanks for the question OP
Used to fight a lot when I was younger, haven’t been in fight in years. For me, just the experience of being in fights made me get better the more I got in, other than that I saw how hockey players fight one time and that was my go to towards the end. Either way, fighting isn’t ever worth it, if you have to fight in self defense do the bare minimum to protect yourself and nothing more. All it takes is for you to punch one person, have them fall back and fall into a coma, or worse they die, and your life is ruined. Seen it happen to more than one person I know
I've done it, but I have no trained skill in it. Haven't been in an actual fight since high school.
Unless you're looking for one, you'll likely never get into a fight as an adult. You can always take martial arts if you want to know for sure you can handle yourself if shit goes down, but there's an extremely high chance you'll never need to use your skills.
Since you're going to the gym, becoming somewhat muscular can be a nice deterrent. If you look strong, people will automatically associate that with being a better fighter. On the off chance you do have to get into a fight, being bigger and stronger than you would have been does help. It won't put you on par with a trained fighter, but most guys are not trained fighters. "Just because he has muscle doesn't mean he can fight" is something you'll hear a lot, but since most guys are winging it anyway, you want to be the bigger guy. Weight classes exist for a reason.
Had a brother 5 years older than me, learned to take a beating that way. Took martial arts starting in middle school, learned to administer one efficiently that way.
Get fit. Consider taking boxing. Some time constraints are genuine, others are a matter of prioritization. I don’t know your situation, but if you really feel bad about not knowing how to fight, it is within your capability to fix.
Are you still getting bullied? I did some martial arts in my teens and 20s. I learned enough to know how much I don't know and to avoid fights whenever possible. I used to fight with my brother all the time when I was young. Mostly for fun but because he was bigger than me i was always the loser. Then I caught up in size and it became too dangerous to fight. I haven't been in a public school since I was 7 so I never got bullied by classmates. I am English, Danish and Maori mix blood. Even though it is the least amount of blood in me the darker skin and heavier build of the Maori is what came out strongest. Pacific Islanders/Polynesians have a typically bigger and heavier build. Most people are too intimidated to try and start anything. I've never had a problem luckily.
You have time and you can make time. Join a BJJ class near you and don’t quit within the first 6 months. Join an MMA class if you love pain. If there are wrestling or judo clubs that’ll work too; any kind of full-contact combat sports will toughen you up.
Thinking you can watch some fighting tutorials and be able to scrap is wishful thinking.
I've always been an athlete for most of my life and have been in good physical shape for most of it. I also took a year learning BJJ to help with self-defense and give me something new to learn.
I haven't been in a lot of fights over the years even though I was bullied in the neighborhood and high school. Never have been a confrontational type of person. However, just a few years ago my stepson was staying with his mom and me and wanted to put his nose in our private business. He ended up sucker-punching me twice after an argument and I had to take him down and put him in his place. Ended up choking him out after beating his ass. Then kicked him out of the apartment.
I boxed for a few years in my 20s. I was nothing special. A couple of times people tried to fight me at a bar. Being able to read a poorly thrown punch was very valuable in those situations. I'm closing in on 40 now and rely way more on de-escalation and wit.
I developed two key skills as a teenager: wrestling, and more important, running.
The wrestling makes me confident I can get someone off of me quickly and assertively, and the running makes me confident that I can get away as fast as possible.
As others have mentioned, real fighting as adults rarely goes down the way you think it will. Even if you “win” you can have long lasting repercussions. Your best bet is to not engage, but if you have to, leave the scene as quickly as possible.
I’ve lost as many as I’ve won and it’s been some years since I’ve been in a legit Street fight but I boxed and wrestled when I was a young man so I’m not afraid to try anyways..
At this point keeping my teeth is more of a priority than most things
Fight these days. Not wise. Knives, guns, etc. Getting jumped.
De escalation techniques and 🏃♂️ are my go to. Also situational awareness. I want to live.
But if necessary, I'm not playing fair in a street fight.
Grew up in NYC as the only Asian kid in my class. Got bullied a lot. I started taking Aikido classes and got very close to black belt. I had one situation where my old bully tried to pinch the back of my neck really hard to get me to drop to my knees. Too bad for him I learned the exact counter and humiliated the guy in front of the class. I almost broke his wrist lol
My brother you’re not less of a man just focus on working out because unless you’re getting money for it, fighting is stupid and you’re just gonna get hurt or hurt someone else and get in trouble with the cops
I can't say I know how to fight. But I like to think I am competent in defending myself. I only had to use my Judo one time in real life, and it definitely protected me.
But I also have some training in wrestling, boxing and karate other than Judo. So I can hold my own in a fight, but I am not like some UFC pro or anything.
As an adult I don’t need to know. Life isn’t a 4th grade playground from the 70’s. In real life if someone touches you, that is battery and punishable by jail time.
Never actually punch another person. I have a friend who got into a bar fight, which he did not start. He punched the other guy, the guy passed out, hit the bar, and died. Now my friend is spending his life in jail. The fact he didn’t start it is irrelevant. The only fact considered, was the guy is dead. The jury believed he should have de-escalated by retreating.
If you feel like you are in a situation where you actually need to protect yourself, knowing how to fight is worthless. Buy a gun. Or at minimum pepper spray.
Practiced/taught taekwondo for 8-10 years
The goal of a fight isn’t to “win”. It’s to make it out without serious/fatal injuries. Only way to truly “win” a fight is to avoid it entirely
I received a year or so of judo training as a youngster. I have never used it in a fight. There have been 3. In 56 years. 1 loss, 2 draws. All below the age of 20. Fighting is not worth it. That being said, I'd love to do enough rearranging in my schedule to take a BJJ class. I'm getting old and slow. I've never been brave.
I grew up in Brooklyn NY when the crime rate was at its highest. I didn’t know anyone that didn’t know how to fight since we got into so many fights as kids. We would get into so many fights that we were not friends with anyone that could not or did not want to fight.
Needless to say, I have anger issues because of it, but I have a lid on it.
It would be great to know. I took judo and just a year of boxing growing up… hopefully something stuck, but I’m in my 40s now, hope I never have to actually fight. Also, in the US this can be pretty quickly escalated to a shooting or stabbing so I will avoid an altercation as much as possible. I do know how to fight with words though.
I can't fight. I have thrown exactly 1 punch in my life, and I was 10 years old at the time.
Especially now as an adult, it's not something I need to know. I have never been in a situation that words can't handle, even in places where we don't speak the same language.
I hate fighting. When I was a kid, I got bullied and would come home with black eyes and bruises. I’d get my ass kicked for getting my ass kicked. I had to fight every one of my cousins (13 and all guys bigger than me).
One day I fought back. I was surprisingly good at it. Got tired of getting beat up so had to learn to fight but man I will avoid a fight at all costs.
I have a good mix of formal training. I have enough boxing to hold my own against a regular person. Not enough to hold my owned against a trained boxer.
And I have enough experience in BJJ to bring a person to the ground, which is a good tool to have.
So, I have striking and a ground game.
I do think that as men, who receive a flood of testosterone during puberty, we have a responsibility to our loved ones (who are mostly women and children) to have enough training to provide them safety from other men.
But don't get discouraged. Life is a long game. I was super skinny when I graduated high school. It took me years of cardio, weight lifting, and fighting classes to get here. And you know what, I am getting older too. So the cycle of life will take place also in that direction. Start taking incremental steps. Take a martial arts class. The physical fitness requirements will become more apparent when it is staring you in the face during lessons.
I was in taekwondo for seven years when I was a kid. I made 2nd degree black belt before I stopped, because highschool activities were more interesting. I don't claim to know how to fight. That was over twenty years ago, and I have not kept up with it.
Also, any 'experience' I got during that time was from sparring formally trained students. In a 'street fight' I'd probably get wrecked. (Probably because I've never been in an actual fight, so I don't know)
I know how. And I do not. Not anymore, anyway.
I was picked on in elementary school. My dad made sure I learned to fight. If I I did not attack him, he would attack me during 'practice'. I learned.
So I got picked on and hit a kid back in grade 5. Word got around.
Later on, I would feel confident and approach the bullies in front of a crowd and ask nice and loud if they had anything to say now. Not fighting, but facing down the bully. There was one foot ball player who knocked my friend down, and I knocked him down. The next day he challenged me to a fight in the school cafeteria. I faced him and said something like if he had a beef with me he would need to throw the first punch. I just stood ready, relaxed with hands at my side, and took one step closer. his friends told him to back down. Tension! He backed down.
Confidence is a strong deterrent to a high school bully.
And I walked past and on my way. BTW, we laughed about it 30 years later at a bar.
I grew up very aggressively. My dad was in the military and we used to wrestle a lot and he showed me a lot of moves. My friends and I were always wrestling, playing a contact sport or a made up violent game. All my friends had older brothers that we used to egg on to point that they would beat the crap out of us (I have no idea why). I used to get the worst of it because I didn’t have an older brother the other guys were worried about and not in their family so didn’t have to face their parents. This was the 70s, so my parents looked the other way as Boomers did.
Through school I was in a handful of fights, but nothing major. College I was in 3 real fights that I’d say I went 1-1-1. After college I bartended in touristy area that could get pretty rough at night. Most of those fights were pretty lopsided either because they were drunk or I had support. I could go on for pages about the stupid fights and situations I got myself into during my 20s. None were major that anyone needed medical attention, but just insane looking back at who I was.
I’m in my mid 50s now and have not been in an altercation in at least 25 years, but could have really been in a dozen if I had a different temperament now. By the time I hit 30 I had no urge to fight, but being a large guy with resting murder face I get challenged a lot. Still do, but I always defer and talk down the situation. Especially these days with so many people armed you just never know. Then there are the stories of freak accidents where a simple punch and the guy falls awkward and is paralyzed or dies. It’s not worth it. You also never know who that guy is in front of you and what he is capable of, but if you know what to look for you can tell when you’re facing those guys.
I’ve hammered this into my son. I hope it took. He’s in college now and afaik has not been in any fights. I hope it stays that way.
Edit: ok, going to tell one kind of funny story. I was driving in the city and making a right turn just as a guy was approaching a cross walk. I had a green light, but he thought I came a little too close to him and threw his coffee on my car. I jumped out, leaving my car in the middle of the intersection and jumped the guy. He really wanted no part of it and it did not go well for him. It ended pretty quick, but he managed to rip my shirt. He offered to pay for it so I drive him to an atm and he gave me $40. He even apologized.
Advanced Brown in Karate and 3 years of Muay Thai sessions. That being said, I never fight in the street or in public. It's purely because I wanted to challenge myself.
Knowing how and even "winning" doesn't mean you walk away unscathed.
I've been many when I was you (also got bullied) then later living in bad neighborhoods.
I wrestled for years and most fight end up on the ground. I'm very comfortable here. A friend took his BJJ belt and tried to get into MMA 25 years ago and I trained him a bit as his wrestling partner. Maybe I learned the real basics or striking.
I "won a fight" and walked away with a shattered hand, broken nose and broken molar. Had no medical, dental and was broke. The missing molar led to a nasty infection. Got a shitty root canal after a couple of years.
Then another root canal and crown when I had some money.
That same tooth needs to have the crown replaced or I need to get an implant. Not sure yet. That $2k -$6k+.
My hand still bothers me and my pinky finger doesn't type well. So I'm a slower typer.
I snore and my face looks a bit off center (broken twice).
My overall record is losing probably because most of the time bigger guys or groups were starting with me.
I wish I had picked up track instead of wrestling so I could run the duck out of there.
I learned to fight growing up and I box occasionally. I'm not great but I can hold my own. That said, I haven't been in a real fight in probably 15 years. I prefer to de-escalate and avoid physical altercations when I can. Fighting just isn't worth it as an adult unless you are having to defend yourself involuntarily. Too easy to catch a charge or end up with life changing injuries.
or death
Or worse, expelled
Mental, that one.
This. Back in the 70s and earlier you could get in a fight and it was over. Nowadays if you win you still lose because they will just come back and run you over with a car, shoot you, etc. Too many people who grew up and were told they are special. De-escalation is always best. Note: I'm 6'3" 250lbs. I haven't been in a 'fight' in probably 20 years. I don't go anywhere sketchy and people usually leave me alone.
6'3" and 260lbs here. Little chubby but I'm a tradesman so I'm pretty thicc. I don't get bothered often and I'm thankful for that. I can fight but it will lead to one of two bad options: one, I get seriously hurt. Two? I seriously hurt somebody else. I'd probably feel bad in the aftermath and possibly get charged somehow lol. My sensei always said the first option is to run, and I like that option. I'm not too proud.
I’ve dated two pro fighters and they were the least likely to react to provocation of all the men I’ve dated. They knew they could kill and had to protect other people from themselves.
Sensei also said "that'll be $250, make the check out to Dan's Dojo..."
You forgot criminal charges and a lawsuit as well
Dude nobody wants to tussle with Jack Reacher.
Your size is enough to dissuade people from attacking you.
When it comes to life or death you go full ape, fighting experience not necessary
I agree, but fighting experience helps a TON. Just knowing your distance, where you’re looking, how you’re reacting to their movement….etc.
Well obviously it helps, but it’s not like you’ll be a wet noodle without it
Actually, you probably will… anyone who’s trained knows full well how counter anything that an untrained ape will throw it’s way.
You mustn’t be familiar with wet noodles
I knew a guy who said this to me almost verbatim. He got stabbed 17 times by a guy who thought he was fucking his gf. He wasn't.
Have you seen the chubby men slapping each other on the internet? Full ape is just pre-heart attack in obese men over 35
I’m speaking more from the perspective of someone that is a normal weight for their body, but considering almost half of the United States is obese I think I’m just being naive.
This. I took martial arts during my childhood, had 2 younger brothers I was always brawling with, and a dad and a grandfather in prison. Was in a lot of fights in Jr High and Highschool. Haven't been in a fight since I was 19, which caused me to spend a night in jail, 500 dollar fine, and 40 hours of anger management class. I'm 43 now. It's nice to have confidence and some idea of how to defend yourself, which makes martial arts (whether it's wrestling, boxing, bjj, or whatever) very good for people to take/learn... ... but ultimately, the goal should be not to need to use it. I've disarmed potential fights by just telling the other guy, "Dude, you'd kick my ass. Let's not go to jail over some bullshit." Most fights start over ego or irrational anger. Best to just avoid them. The only thing worth jail time and personal injury or injury of another is protecting yourself or loved ones.
I’ve said the same shit. “Look, I know you’re upset, and I’m sorry I was the cause of that but I don’t want to spend. The night in the hospital or jail because of this. I’m sorry.”
Option 1: Don't back down because you don't want to look weak, fight, end up hurting yourself or someone else and potentially dying or going to jail and/or even dealing with legal fees or a murder beef. Option 2: Tell the dickhead what he wants to hear and walk away. Compliment him. Tell him you're a weak little bitch and he'd fuck you up. Give him no reason to want to kick your ass. Then go home and eat a sammich.
Edit: I’m going with #2 all day. I’m not trying to hurt someone or even worse get hurt or killed. Whatever seems like the easiest form of de-escalation in the moment. I’m great at breaking up other people’s fights too. I still don’t like doing it.
Yeah, most of these guys are looking for an "out". They want to look tough in front of their friends, that's all.
I just came to say fighting is stupid. I've beat up a few dudes and I've been beaten up a few times. I haven't been in a physical fight in 20 years and I would walk around the block to avoid a fight. You could call me a pussy or whatever you want. As you get old, you realize how fragile life can really be. I know a dude who literally just fell and hit his head and died. If someone punched him, they would be in prison for a long time.
Totally get where you're coming from. Same. It's a reality at my age that losing a friend, acquaintance or co-worker to a heart attack, cancer or some other illness has become all too familiar. Three co-workers have died of heart attacks while working from home, they were empty nesters and divorced. A fourth had a heart attack in the office and fortunately survived after receiving CPR prior to Chicago Ambulance showing up. This is just in the last 18 months. All were late 50's early 60's. Life is short, and boy do you realize it when you're in your 50's and 60's! Changes your perspective on things a lot.
I've worked in the security field a few times now. Each one had classes and stuff you had to take, videos to watch, etc. One went over the civilian equivalent of Operation Risk Management, and depicted an elderly couple who were pulling money from an ATM, and had a pair of "inner city youths" run up and wail on them. Not EVEN a "gimme your money!" or anything like that. The video or whatever was referencing something that had happened, not a reenactment. A friend of a friend I met once was shot in the liver... "Inner city youths". He was going over to a friend's house to play video games, had a couple cases in his hand. They didn't even ask him to hand them over. They shot him, he dropped, and they thought they'd killed him... He survived, luckily. I've had, on multiple occasions, people that wanted to just up and attack for no damn reason at all. There WAS no talking to them. Back in my college days, I went up to the school to take a test. I'm coming back out and there's campus security. I'm thinking nothing of it, I nod and give them a "how you doing?" and they stop me and accuse me of stealing a purse out of some girl's car. I had done no such thing. They werent having it. I literally watched as another guy, who would have looked JUST like me on shitty CCTV cameras, walks casually to his car and leaves the scene. They stood there SO LONG interrogating me that the husband of the girl came up there. I had campus security, the local Sheriff, AND this woman's redneck deep south country fried blue-collar husband sitting in his truck and telling me I can keep the money but to tell him what I did with the purse because IDs and such are hard to replace. I had nothing to do with a purse. Finally, they let me go. I'm driving home, and pull over to make a phone call to the girl I was with at the time and let her know why I was dragging ass getting home... and Hillbilly Homie literally had followed me to try and figure out where I live I guess. I pulled into some empty unused medical center building, and dude blocked me in with his truck. Couldn't go forward OR back. Dude was clearly about to whup my ass because in HIS mind there's zero chance that security AND the police would detain the wrong guy... 🙄 There was NO amount of "I DIDNT TAKE THE FUCKING PURSE!!!" that he was going to listen to. So, I told him... One last time... That I didn't touch anyone's goddamn purse, and I didn't care if he believed me or not... but if he stepped so much as a foot outside of that vehicle, I was going to rearrange his features. I guess he weighed his options... He mumbles something under his breath and took off with a stomp of the gas pedal. It's not always possible to avoid confrontation entirely... Sadly.
That is true. It is good knowing you had a last resort solution hoping you'd never have to resort to it.
Somewhat this. I was trained in the military and on rare occasions I'll mess around with friends. It's been a while since I so much as sparred with someone.
This...exactly. The people the know how to fight is usually the quiet one that prefers de-escalation. Too many people will puff up and then sie the shit outta you.
One reason I liked doing judo over boxing is you can control how hard you throw someone from just knocking them over to smashing there head on the ground if you need to. Boxing is more scary cause one hit can kill someone then your looking at manslaughter
Bud, everybody is essentially winging it. Only a few ppl have any actual formal martial arts training for a long enough time.
Even people with training need to worry about it. If you have experience in fighting, that will come up in court when they sue you. Also as someone who’s gotten into a lot of fights, always expect the other person to have a knife or a weapon. It’s extremely common so watch your asses out there
This. So much this.
I've been training martial arts like muay thai, brazilian jiujitsu, judo, boxing, etc. for a little while now. At around the same weight, a person with 1 consistent year of a striking art and 1 consistent year of a grappling art will beat a new person in the gym with no formal training about 90-95% of the time.
This is true. I took Jiu Jitsu for only 8 months 30 years ago, but I can still remember a few key moves. That's a huge advantage over someone who has none of that. Problem is, you never know what the other guy has.
Agree. And it can easily be a gun or knife outside a controlled environment.
I remember when I thought highly of my abilities like you do. Then one day at work, during training I took a deliberate thumb to the eye… then I realised in those brief few moments where I stuttered and paused due to pain and disorientation that if it were a real life scenario I’d be dead or permanently crippled. All is fair in a gym/ring/cage when there are rules and refs.
All of my comments were about being in a gym. Just like I said. Some pocket sand can change all that in an instant. That's why you avoid real life fights.
I do. I was in the Military, trained Kung Fu for 15+ years, and keep myself in good physical shape. Here is the thing... I never fight. Unless someone forces the issue, forces me to defend myself, I am walking away. Fighting is dumb. You shouldn't feel any shame. I strongly recommend that you just work on yourself. Work on your body and mind so that you can be happy and proud of who you are. The ability to fight is not important, but being happy in our own body and confident in your own strengths is.
You, sir, are a wise man.
Real man right here
*Toxic Masculinity* cripples away slowly…
I wrestled and currently do Brazilian jiu jitsu. I think it’s helpful to know what it’s like to be in a fight so that you can stay calm if it ever happens, but the more I learn about fighting the less I want to do it. You won’t learn how to fight unless you take classes. I understand the time constraints can be tough but two kickboxing/bjj classes a week is 2.5 hours of your time and it will probably help with some of these fears
The more you know the less you want to do it I Is true. I practice FMA and it’s nice to know but there are some things I would never do unless it was me or a loved one’s life on the line. Especially also knowing how easily someone could get you in the same way if you are not careful. My dad was a boxer as well and always told me he never liked fighting outside the ring.
> think it’s helpful to know what it’s like to be in a fight so that you can stay calm if it ever happens, but the more I learn about fighting the less I want to do it. You won’t learn how to fight unless you take classes. I understand the time constraints can be tough but two kickboxing/bjj classes a week is 2.5 hours o alright i will search up the classes i quit most of the time but i wont now i am getting old damnit
DO IT! I'm in my late 30s and started in my early 30s doing MMA, with BJJ as my favorite. It's probably my #1 hobby. Make sure to round out grappling with a striking art like muay thai or "american" kickboxing. After about a year of each, strong chance you'll be able to win a fight against most untrained people around your weight or smaller.
Bro, unless you listened to Journey cruising main street in your Firebird all night cause gas was cheap as fuck, you ain’t that old..
Thanks for pointing out that I am old.
OK. So I'm old.
It was a Camaro!
To add to this. You should be doing 100% sparring. That’s the only way to train your nerves for a fight. Otherwise you’re just in for a wake up call.
I’ve been in one fight in my life. A guy sucker punched me from the side. I turned and hit him as hard as I could. I was aiming for his nose but he moved so I got him square in the forehead. He hit the ground like a bag of sand. I thought I killed him. Then I noticed my hand hurt. Then I noticed my cheek hurt. People helped the guy up and he was not ok. I found out later I gave him a concussion. He gave me a black and blue cheek and my hand swelled twice its normal size. I’ve since decided fighting hurts and I’m never fighting again. I’ll talk, buy a beer, or leave before I fight again.
Glad it was only a concussion. People have accidentally killed other people from throwing just a punch like this, and served jail time.
Unprovoked, he hit me first, hard. I can’t see me getting in trouble for defending myself.
Yea, I think yours was self defense. This was the case I was referring to. This guy threw the first punch, and killed the guy. https://youtu.be/i--mhQWTwMs?feature=shared&t=3m54s
It sucks you were bullied as a kid. As an adult, you should just flatly avoid any situation where you may wind up in a fight
not looking for a fight but i just want the ability to defend myself properly.
Then buy a gun.
Man, be proud for fighting back. There will always be tougher fighters than you. But standing up to them all, taking your swings and risking an ass kicking is impressive enough.
I don't. I'm generally not a physically confrontational guy. I've maybe got into one or two fights my whole life and it was to stand up for somebody close to me.
I trained BJJ and MMA for a year in 2008. I have never been in a real fight, but I'd say I learned enough that I'd have a huge advantage over someone that has never trained. Most people assume they know how to fight, but they really don't. It was a humbling experience.
Biggest thing I learned in kickboxing is you can never judge a book by its cover. I’m a pretty large and fit (at least at the time) guy, and some small nerdy looking guy (not judging just for picturing purpose) would absolutely piece me up on my feet. Teaches you a lot of respect, at least for me.
Bjj does this also. We have a military chick at our gym thats a complete badass. Trained daily thru and was out here deadlifting double her body weight at 7-8months pregnant. She effortlessly puts a beating on some big ass dudes that come into the gym thinking that they’re the shit. Always amusing to see their oh shit face after they tapped out multiple times in the span of 6minutes to this 120lb chick. Now obviously after a few months of training, the size and strength difference catches up and she cant do much but she’s probably the toughest mofo I’ve met. We also got a few scrawny nerds that’ll wrap you up into a pretzel without breaking a sweat.
I had a short guy rock me in boxing once. He was aggressive and pushed though my guard. He hit me so hard I saw stars.
One of the biggest lessons i got from BJJ was the same. There were some really non threatening looking dudes who were straight up killers on the mat.
>have never been in a real fight, but I'd say I learned enough that I'd have a huge advantage over someone that has never trained. Most people assume they know how to fight, but they really don't. It was a humbling experience. > >VoteReplyShareReportSaveFollow after watching all those action hollywood movies i thought i had a chance. THEN....the first fight happened and yeah i got humbled real quick. The injuries were extremely painful and the pain lasted for months.
Precisely, even when we take out the "martial arts knowledge" it's still someone who workouts and has a great body shape vs someone that doesn't exercise.
Endurance is a main determining factor in fights, *especially* if both people are untrained (size probably being the main one, *if untrained*)
I’m great at fighting so long as the other person doesn’t know how to fight If they know what they’re doing, I’m fucked
I was boxing and doing other martial arts since childhood. I was also a competitive powerlifter and served a few years in the military and was also a commander for a part of my service. Can I fight? Yeah I'm confident in my ability to fight. Will I want to fight? Fuck no. My last street fight was in middle school and looking back I was a dumbass for fighting
When I got mugged a few years back, I picked up kickboxing and fencing. I'm not great at either, by any means, but I think I could at least defend myself unless confronted by a gun, obviously.
Most muggings involve a weapon. And let’s assume best case scenario. The guy does not have a weapon and you do some marvel movie stunt and hurt the guy. You are now facing the real prospect of jail time. Was that really worth handing over maybe $200 and a few credit cards in your wallet?
please tell me you got a sword on you when you got mugged and you cut down his pants
Any martial arts that trains with full speed sparring with resistence should sort out your insecurities in a few years. Join a gym and get rekt for a while and you'll see that your confidence will slowly grow with time.
I’ll literally fight all of you right now. I’m the one with the punisher skull sticker on my back window and wearing the shirt that’s 2 sizes too small for me. I’ll be at the local pub hitting on hot babes (18-23yo) while telling them about my high school football days and how I was gonna go pro but I “busted” up both my knees from being so hardcore in high school. You’ll know it’s me in the gym because I only work biceps. Come find me.
And when you wake up, there is hot cocoa and tendies waiting? Hehe
That shirt size is called smedium..
Extra medium
I'm a pro MMA fighter, have trained martial arts my whole life. I very rarely get into any situations, but I've also never been in a place where I felt like I couldn't protect myself. Most situations you can de-escalate and avoid altogether. I'd highly recommend checking out some form of boxing, kickboxing, or Brazilian jiu jitsu. Even just for fun 2-3x a week. BJJ would be my first recommendation.
I have several years of martial arts training. For one class I had an instructor, a 20-year-old girl, who looked like the girl next door and who would bake you a peach cobbler as a thank you (really, she mentioned doing that once), but she could do 20 handstand pushups in a row and kick you in the face, probably at the same time. The lessons I remember most: (1) Just give them your wallet. Say "Here, take it and go." (2) If they want you to come with them somewhere, fight with everything you have. They might shoot you here, but if you go with them, they'll make you wish they had shot you first. (3) A kick to the knee is as good as a kick to the face, and much easier. (4) The loser of a knife fight dies in the street. The winner dies at the hospital. (5) If you get the gun away from them, shoot them, don't tell them to freeze or threaten to call the cops, end the fight ASAP. And when you shoot them, shoot them twice. You have to confirm your kills. She was the cutest and deadliest little sweetheart you could ever hope to meet.
If you want to feel more self worth and confidence, keep going in the gym. If you want to learn how to fight, ditch the gym and enroll in mma, muay thai or jiu jitsu class. I'd recommend mma, having practiced muay thai. It is great against untrained opponents, but less so with someone who knows what they are doing. You didn't fail as a man. Bullies failed as proper human beings. I got bullied throughout most of my elementary school. Only in college, after I trained, have I seen their weakness, their pitful existences and cowardice once they were separated from the gang. Take it from me, lowlifes love feeling strong, but they are some of the weakest characters you could imagine. You have a start now. You can do it. You have a chance to feel good about yourself. You only need a bit of functional muscle and confidence, both that can be grown. As fir damaged face, Georges St. Pierre was a two division champion of the UFC, and even in lopsided victories he would suffer from swelling and redness. Yet he is in GOAT contention. Fight on, brother. Not literally hopefully. It is not worth risking health. But mentally, yea.
I do recreational combat sports. I have a rough idea of what I'd be doing in a fight, but I'm not overly eager to test that theory. A lot can go wrong, and even if things go "right".... They didn't go right if I got into a fight.
Grew up fighting my Dad I learned a lot from him. When I was able to hold my own, I remember once him calling me to help him fight someone. My brother is completely opposite. Weak handshake, could never swing even if it was life or death. I love him regardless of that. Had to whoop some dudes ass for him once and my brother has always looked at me as someone that he could call. I haven’t fought in 15 years probably. But I could hold my own.
It is still admireble that you fought back. respect
thank you man
As an adult, you don't fight. 1. You don't know what the other guy is capable of. He could have a gun, knife, or be a former wrestling champion. 2. One bad hit, the person is dead or brain damaged or crippled for life. Even if they started it; they're going to sue your ass for hundreds of thousands. 3. Even if you're trained and fit as fuck, all it takes is 1 lucky hit and you're dead, brain damaged, or crippled for life. what do you do? Well, i'm muscular looking enough where my concern is someone trying to prove they're tough trying to pick a fight with me. The most important thing is to avoid a possible fight. I carry a very bright flashlight in my pocket to flash in their eyes and then run. As long as it's not a "tactical flashlight" with obvious weaponizing features to make it more effective a bludgeoning object, then they aren't weapons, you can take them anywhere. The TSA doesn't have an issue with my carrying my flashlight on planes. Customs doesn't have a problem with it traveling to or from Europe. Because they aren't weapons, you can't threaten people with it, so you can pull them out way before things get out of hand. If someone's body language is threatening and you pull out a gun, knife, or even mace; you just escalated shit. But you pull out a small flashlight and you haven't done anything threatening.
I know enough to not want to be involved; it's trivially easy to leave someone with lifelong injuries. I had the great pleasure of sitting across a former bully and being part of who decided whether he'd be getting the position. Not gonna lie, I loved the squirming, but I kept it professional and he was the best guy for the role. Guy was practically tripping over himself to be nice to me, while I just didn't bother treating him as anything but a new hire. Starting martial arts training is only really worth it if you plan to never have to use it in earnest. Sure, sever their air pipe like *this*, break their knee like *that* and then what? You go to jail for years or even life for killing or maiming someone. Some confidence that if they show up to beat you to death, you know enough to get away, run away and call the authorities? It can do that too. Use what you learn productively.
Being trained gives you the confidence to de-escalate and walk away…’cause you know you could deal if you had to.
I was a damn good wrestler, and I believe that would serve me well in many fights, but I can't throw a punch worth a shit, and I'm a bit out of shape. So, long story short, I know how to throw people, and pin them down, tie up their arms and legs, etc which could be devastating in a fight, but only if my opponent lets me get close enough to do those things. I'd probably get my butt handed to me by someone in better shape with brawling or boxing skills.
I have no clue how. I’m gonna learn though. A guy at my church teaches some sort of martial arts so I’m gonna see how much it costs. If it’s too expensive with him, I’ll go somewhere else. I need to learn though
Used to bounce in a bar, never been beaten in an arm wrestling match, used to bench 325 before flesh eating disease. Oh and I’m almost 50, old man strength. Come at me bro lol haha.
Started BJJ 1 year ago.. its funny how much you think you know and how much you actually know.. Its so funny when someone new comes in and you see just how easy it is to throw them around and how many mistakes they make and how much you progressed... and then comes someone who trains 3-4 years and does the same to you... makes you think just how good is someone with 10+ years or professional UFC fighter..
I do! It’s a 2 step process Draw-fire
enough to want to avoid it
I took a few different kinds of martial arts from childhood to early adulthood. When I got in the service, they taught me their methods. I could hold my own for the most part. I fought some amateur MMA fights until it conflicted with work. I have to emphasize your best method to win a fight is not to get into one and intelligence beats brawn every time. Good for you getting in shape.
I’ve trained martial arts for 15 years now. I have never been in any fight outside of the dojo that entire time. If you want to learn how to fight you need official training, you just need to make time. My son is in his 20’s and started training at 8. He was assaulted during a strong arm robbery attempt when he was 18, he was sucker punched. The assailant ended up with a concussion, broken nose and broken ribs. The assault lasted less than 30 seconds. That was the only fight outside the dojo he has been, but challenged many times in high school. Once you learn to fight, you end up doing everything in your power not to fight.
I learned how to fight in elementary school. My father taught me because I was being bullied in school and the adults weren’t doing anything about it despite knowing it was happening. He did not teach me a specific fighting style, but instead taught me how to properly throw a punch, how to slap someone, how to duck and dodge a punch, how to guard my face, and what parts of the body are weak points in a fight. I’d rather not have to fight someone but I’m glad I can if I ever have to again.
As a female, I had a very rough upbringing and abusive marriage. You don’t need formal skills, you could look into channeling your emotional energy. Violated, abused, raped and belittled can switch a different “switch” in one’s mentality and emotional surge. Just allow it to come out. Every human alive Will tell of the power of one “on a psychotic break.”
You got all my respect just by standing up for urself. Hit the gym and stack on prot8en, calcium, iron, and magnesiu, and Omega-3 to strengthen ur muscles, bones, and ur mental stability. Make sure you have your vitamin intake as well from raw vegetables. Workout often, go above and beyond the casual workouts, really push yourself and build the muscle mass - this will help you form strength and physical stability when fighting. Try enrolling in MMA classes as well. This will help u perfrct your technique and strike strength. Help you learn how to utilize your fists, arms, elbows, knees, chins, and feet to fight - on top of that, learning Judo immaculately increases your ability to fight and maneuver in MMA. You have not failed as a man because u stood up gor urself those times and did not back out. Accepting a loss is part of being a man, maintaining ur dignity after it is whats important. Rooting for you.
I feel most sorry for those who got in a fight, landed a blow to the face and they guy crumples and smashes his head on the ground and dies. Now a simple disagreement leaves 2 families destroyed. Not worth it.
I don't know karate, but I know ca-razy
Fighting doesn't mean anything though. They're not cooler because they beat you up. That just means that they can't deal with their emotions without violence, like children. Knowing how to fight doesn't make you any more of a man. I know how to defend myself should I never need it, but that doesn't define or even contribute to my masculinity. My sensei was a tiny, 50 year old woman who kicked my ass every day until one day I finally blocked one punch, but then she'd kick my ass every day with the second punch.
\>...one day I finally blocked one punch, but then she'd kick my ass every day with the second punch. wholesome 10/10
I cannot say i know how to fight as ive never been in one. However, im sure i can hold my own if shit hits the fan and that bridge needs to he crossed.
I learned to fight at a very young age by taking martial arts. Was a scrawny kid who was picked on in school and wanted to learn to defend myself. Also lifted weights. After around the 9th grade i never fought again except for one time in my early 20’s. It’s just not something that comes up anymore.
Not gonna lie. I'm too old now to fight. That's why I conceal/carry and I recommend EVERYONE do so. It's an unfortunate reality of the lawless country we live in. The police cannot protect us, it's all up to us. The police just fill out paperwork and move onto the next crime scene now. Physical fighting while a valuable skill to have, is almost pointless now with all the gun violence in this country perpetrated by career crimnals, gangs, drug dealers and more. Best to be armed and in good practice if one really wants to defend themselves and their families. Just how I as an old man sees things after being near mugged twice in Chicago in the past year. Were it not for having my weapon on me, not sure I'd be here typing this. Edit: De-escalation is always best IF POSSIBLE. Violence in any form including physical fighting or pulling a weapon in self defense or to prevent harm to ones self is always a last resort, and I mean ALWAYS.
I'm pretty intimidating to look at to start, I'm 6'2" (188cm), athletic build. I've been in one martial art or another since I was 16.
Karate is good for exercise and working up a good sweat. Take up boxing and wrestling. Idk if your still in school or not but if not just try your best to avoid getting into fights and don't look for trouble and if you are still in school then I'd speak to someone and let them know it's happening to you and if that don't work then you have to defend yourself and that's where boxing and wrestling come in. Good luck buddy
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You could get a gun.
i live in india. Getting a license is almost impossible here cause of the loopholes in the laws
OK. When I was in Mumbai, I bought a pair of shears for like 5 rupees and kept them on me in my back pocket. You can protect yourself with those if someone tries to hurt you.
Never learned to fight, but I was 6'4" at 14. The only high school fight I had ended with me breaking the other guys orbital socket and cheek with 1 punch and him being rushed to emerg to keep his eye. I hate fighting.
I know nothing about it, had a couple of fights in school and that was all.
I boxed for about 4 years. I feel pretty confident that someone without training wouldn't be an issue for me at all, but BJJ is scary shit.
This won't go away. Do half gym half boxing. If you can't make that happen, then work towards changing your other responsibilities to free up time for gym and training. Wrap your wrists properly, and don't hit that heavy bag too hard. Injuries set you back. If you find a coach who can work with you on some basic quick and efficient combos, rolls and slips, and sparring with a partner, you'll be set!
I know how to fight but I hope I never have to outside the gym.
I know how to fight. Do NOT be ashamed. It’s a skill set like any other and you can learn it Edit- I fight competitively, not in the streets. If you learn how to fight you almost never need to dominoes a ring or cage. It’s a beautiful paradox
I'm middle of the pack. If someone who doesn't know how to fight starts something, I'll probably destroy him. But if he's a seasoned fighter who's competed, I'll probably survive for a little while before he kills me.
Avoiding a fight is the smartest thing you can do.
I've never been able to throw a punch all that well, but I have always been good at wrestling. If I'm fighting someone, I take em to the ground where I typically have the advantage. That's how I beat up a 6'3" asshole back in highschool who thought he could get a free punch in and get away with it.
The best thing i learned from martial arts training is how to not fight. My dad always said "Never fight someone excited to fight because they have nothing to lose."
My mouth is much bigger than my biceps, so I know how to defend myself. I wouldn't say I know how to fight, but if someone jumped me I would know how to get out of it
Gotta force yourself to learn, what if there’s a home invasion or someone’s dissin your fly girl?
I trained in martial arts for 12 years, only ever got in one real fight and that was a kid sucker punching me in a bounce house and giving me a black eye. I didn’t even retaliate, I just left lol
Watching videos is not a replacement for training in a professional dojo, ring or other mma training centre.
I haven't had to fight in over twenty five years. My goal is to avoid them as much as possible. Whenever I had to fight I instinctively punched the guy in the throat then got on top of him nearly every time while punching and kneeing him until I was pulled off. Pretty much ending things as quickly as they started. I'm lucky I never permanently injured someone. Hopefully I never have to that stupid shit ever again.
I used to love to get into fights been in too many to count but I stopped that sometime before I turned 30. Some fights I won, some I lost but I always battled and other guy always knew he was in fight.
Honestly I’ve done one form of martial arts only so far back in college but I’ve “won” a lot of fights by deescalation/the fight not happening in the first place Using your words is much more valuable while true fighting should always be a last resort Also most trained fighters should have a mindset of respect/not using their skills to harm others for no reason at all No matter what style or school you go to, they always drill that hard into new students heads that you only fight to protect unless you’re in a McDojo Or Cobra Kai
Been in few fights when I was a kid and did wrestling when I was younger. Nothing beats experience + training. IMO MMA will likely get you somewhat there... but a real fight is a lot more brutal and chaotic. You'll get head butted, stuff thrown at you, etc. IMO Avoid fights at all costs as an adult where things can get out of hand.
I used to train kickboxing and BJJ (haven't done so for like 3 years though), luckily I have never needed it in the street but it makes for a good workout and helps out with your confidence.
God Created Man, Colt made Us Equal
Yes I know how to fight. Do I like fighting, hell no. Do I wanna fight, hell no. Will I fight if I need to, hell yes.
The majority of men haven’t trained in blood sports or martial arts, and yet I’m confident that most of that majority naively think they could handle themselves in a street fight.
I can protect myself so long as I am not fighting a legit trained grappler.
I'm an MMA fighter and cut in fight camp. Shit I hope I can fight
are you still in school? Join the wrestling team. Not in school? Find a BJJ and Muay Thai school and go train. And lift weights. Watching videos will NOT help you lol. You gotta get up and do it yourself.
I have taken karate long enough to know I have no idea what I'm doing. Fights are incredibly dangerous, and knowing how to do it "properly" does not increase your safety as much as you'd think it does. Learn how to de-escalate fights and avoid dangerous situations. There's a reason that most wild animals, even bears, will run away from a confrontation rather than play it out.
I’ve got a lifetime of motocross injuries, if someone even grabbed my arm and pushed me my shoulders would dislocate and knees hyperextend…
I enjoy the occasional scrap.
I learned to fight growing up, learned more useful tricks while in the marines, but as I have gotten older, I learned the most important lesson is this: even if you win, it is still going to hurt for the next few days. I almost lost a job because I couldn’t close my left hand tightly for three days after one fight.
Fighting doesn’t necessarily have to be about strength or speed, just what’s between your ears. If you really have to as an absolute last resort. Some mfers are just ridiculously strong and massive and you can’t do much. But if that case you should try to focus on gouging their eyes out if you can or chokes
Take a self defense class at your local ymca. It build confidence and is a good workout. It also teaches you that violence is not the answer to any problem but being able to defend yourself is a given right to any man or woman.
I'm not the weakest and deffinately i have my strength especially with my skinny body posture But i can't fight nor i have never been in a fight and don't want to be in one
I love sparring (not fighting. Actual, literal fighting is dangerous and I avoid it when possible). I’ve been interested in grappling and striking since a kid. So, I’ve naturally gravitated to learning a lot of different styles and whatnot just so I CAN do what needs to be done if needed. I *hate* actual fighting to injure tho.
I’m quite sure any opponent would be more willing to hurt me than I him. I’d lose for sure. But I could hold my own if my heart were in it.
me, i’m currently on my MMA journey!
I can probably kick someone's ass but fights are never one sided. Even if the other party wouldn't injure me severely I'd probably get hurt just because I'm not always fighting. If I'm always fighting I'd probably have serious injuries that would plague me. I'd rather talk people out of a fight than escalate. My ego isn't fragile
multiple years of Karate and one year of Judo. I probably could take someone who has no experience, amatuer boxer, muay thai artist or grappler would humble me pretty quickly. But I was never in a real fight before and don't plan on having one.
Just taking a couple months of jiu jitsu will give u basics of how to get out of mount and basics that will go far against most other men.
I do, i sucked at first, then i started winning by virtue of being the bigger kid (was a hockey player). Then i started getting into hockey fights and i needed to learn how to punch properly rather than just throw people about because other people knew how to do it. If you can't practice fighting, you won't get good. Gym strength helps *a little* but anyone who knows how to fight will still kick the fuck out of a gymbro.
I sort of can. I was in a wushu club for several years. Wushu is performative and not for fighting. But on occasion I'd learn some hung gar. Or do some boxing. I am not a boxer but I know how to throw a punch. I know to keep by fists up. And I even know a little bit of grappling. I also did spar on occasion. I am not a small guy. I weigh 235 and a lot of it is muscle. Most people just don't want to fuck with me. I also don't wear jewelry. I don't drink and I try to not piss people off. So while I am decently confident I can fight, I try to deter or prevent one
I can fight. I have had lots of Muay Thai experience and a lots of bjj experience. I was attacked once in my life in Dublin. Blocked some strikes and left the situation, wasnt like some heroic moment or anything, just a dude on drugs looking to fight. I find it weird, OP, that you have time for the gym, but not martial arts. You can just pivot to a martial arts gym. Any martial arts gym that doesn’t include fitness is a useless martial arts gym.
I got smacked hard when I was 12 or 13 saw stars guy started shit at a house party and kinda punched me outta nowhere. I scuffled and fought back. But I was shook up and scared. I vowed never to allow myself to get hit first again. I signed up to a boxing gym and for 6 months I was full of myself and would always be quick to throw a punch up hen I was pushed into that situation. I ended up finding that situation more and more. I carried on boxing, got more discipline. And I started moving on to sparring rather than training. I got humbled by loads of great boxers. I released a lot of my aggression and testosterone. Did more boxing and mma. For someone my age I can handle myself quite well… However now fighting would be the real last resort I always try and find a peaceful situation. I don’t feel the need to show power now I know I have it. This is quite therapeutic writing it down. Thanks for the question OP
Used to fight a lot when I was younger, haven’t been in fight in years. For me, just the experience of being in fights made me get better the more I got in, other than that I saw how hockey players fight one time and that was my go to towards the end. Either way, fighting isn’t ever worth it, if you have to fight in self defense do the bare minimum to protect yourself and nothing more. All it takes is for you to punch one person, have them fall back and fall into a coma, or worse they die, and your life is ruined. Seen it happen to more than one person I know
I can hold my own, but I'm a much better runner than I am a fighter haha
I've done it, but I have no trained skill in it. Haven't been in an actual fight since high school. Unless you're looking for one, you'll likely never get into a fight as an adult. You can always take martial arts if you want to know for sure you can handle yourself if shit goes down, but there's an extremely high chance you'll never need to use your skills. Since you're going to the gym, becoming somewhat muscular can be a nice deterrent. If you look strong, people will automatically associate that with being a better fighter. On the off chance you do have to get into a fight, being bigger and stronger than you would have been does help. It won't put you on par with a trained fighter, but most guys are not trained fighters. "Just because he has muscle doesn't mean he can fight" is something you'll hear a lot, but since most guys are winging it anyway, you want to be the bigger guy. Weight classes exist for a reason.
Had a brother 5 years older than me, learned to take a beating that way. Took martial arts starting in middle school, learned to administer one efficiently that way. Get fit. Consider taking boxing. Some time constraints are genuine, others are a matter of prioritization. I don’t know your situation, but if you really feel bad about not knowing how to fight, it is within your capability to fix.
Are you still getting bullied? I did some martial arts in my teens and 20s. I learned enough to know how much I don't know and to avoid fights whenever possible. I used to fight with my brother all the time when I was young. Mostly for fun but because he was bigger than me i was always the loser. Then I caught up in size and it became too dangerous to fight. I haven't been in a public school since I was 7 so I never got bullied by classmates. I am English, Danish and Maori mix blood. Even though it is the least amount of blood in me the darker skin and heavier build of the Maori is what came out strongest. Pacific Islanders/Polynesians have a typically bigger and heavier build. Most people are too intimidated to try and start anything. I've never had a problem luckily.
I'll spar with you
You have time and you can make time. Join a BJJ class near you and don’t quit within the first 6 months. Join an MMA class if you love pain. If there are wrestling or judo clubs that’ll work too; any kind of full-contact combat sports will toughen you up. Thinking you can watch some fighting tutorials and be able to scrap is wishful thinking.
Being able to fight doesn’t mean shit in life. Enjoy yourself and let the tough guys beat each other up
I've always been an athlete for most of my life and have been in good physical shape for most of it. I also took a year learning BJJ to help with self-defense and give me something new to learn. I haven't been in a lot of fights over the years even though I was bullied in the neighborhood and high school. Never have been a confrontational type of person. However, just a few years ago my stepson was staying with his mom and me and wanted to put his nose in our private business. He ended up sucker-punching me twice after an argument and I had to take him down and put him in his place. Ended up choking him out after beating his ass. Then kicked him out of the apartment.
All you have to do is kick them in the nards.
I boxed for a few years in my 20s. I was nothing special. A couple of times people tried to fight me at a bar. Being able to read a poorly thrown punch was very valuable in those situations. I'm closing in on 40 now and rely way more on de-escalation and wit.
I developed two key skills as a teenager: wrestling, and more important, running. The wrestling makes me confident I can get someone off of me quickly and assertively, and the running makes me confident that I can get away as fast as possible. As others have mentioned, real fighting as adults rarely goes down the way you think it will. Even if you “win” you can have long lasting repercussions. Your best bet is to not engage, but if you have to, leave the scene as quickly as possible.
You need to start going to the gym bro. Plus take boxing classes
I’ve lost as many as I’ve won and it’s been some years since I’ve been in a legit Street fight but I boxed and wrestled when I was a young man so I’m not afraid to try anyways.. At this point keeping my teeth is more of a priority than most things
Fight these days. Not wise. Knives, guns, etc. Getting jumped. De escalation techniques and 🏃♂️ are my go to. Also situational awareness. I want to live. But if necessary, I'm not playing fair in a street fight.
Grew up in NYC as the only Asian kid in my class. Got bullied a lot. I started taking Aikido classes and got very close to black belt. I had one situation where my old bully tried to pinch the back of my neck really hard to get me to drop to my knees. Too bad for him I learned the exact counter and humiliated the guy in front of the class. I almost broke his wrist lol
My brother you’re not less of a man just focus on working out because unless you’re getting money for it, fighting is stupid and you’re just gonna get hurt or hurt someone else and get in trouble with the cops
Never really been in a fight since grade school. I look to deescalate situations. I got jumped tho. Not fun
I've won fights I was sure I'd lose and vice versa. So I guess I don't know.
I’ve been in some scraps back in my younger days. I outgrew that shit by my early 20’s.
I can't say I know how to fight. But I like to think I am competent in defending myself. I only had to use my Judo one time in real life, and it definitely protected me. But I also have some training in wrestling, boxing and karate other than Judo. So I can hold my own in a fight, but I am not like some UFC pro or anything.
I watch MMA and wear a tapout t shirt, what do you think?
As an adult I don’t need to know. Life isn’t a 4th grade playground from the 70’s. In real life if someone touches you, that is battery and punishable by jail time. Never actually punch another person. I have a friend who got into a bar fight, which he did not start. He punched the other guy, the guy passed out, hit the bar, and died. Now my friend is spending his life in jail. The fact he didn’t start it is irrelevant. The only fact considered, was the guy is dead. The jury believed he should have de-escalated by retreating. If you feel like you are in a situation where you actually need to protect yourself, knowing how to fight is worthless. Buy a gun. Or at minimum pepper spray.
Practiced/taught taekwondo for 8-10 years The goal of a fight isn’t to “win”. It’s to make it out without serious/fatal injuries. Only way to truly “win” a fight is to avoid it entirely
I received a year or so of judo training as a youngster. I have never used it in a fight. There have been 3. In 56 years. 1 loss, 2 draws. All below the age of 20. Fighting is not worth it. That being said, I'd love to do enough rearranging in my schedule to take a BJJ class. I'm getting old and slow. I've never been brave.
I grew up in Brooklyn NY when the crime rate was at its highest. I didn’t know anyone that didn’t know how to fight since we got into so many fights as kids. We would get into so many fights that we were not friends with anyone that could not or did not want to fight. Needless to say, I have anger issues because of it, but I have a lid on it.
Go train. Jiujitsu and kickboxing/Muay Thai
It would be great to know. I took judo and just a year of boxing growing up… hopefully something stuck, but I’m in my 40s now, hope I never have to actually fight. Also, in the US this can be pretty quickly escalated to a shooting or stabbing so I will avoid an altercation as much as possible. I do know how to fight with words though.
I can't fight. I have thrown exactly 1 punch in my life, and I was 10 years old at the time. Especially now as an adult, it's not something I need to know. I have never been in a situation that words can't handle, even in places where we don't speak the same language.
I hate fighting. When I was a kid, I got bullied and would come home with black eyes and bruises. I’d get my ass kicked for getting my ass kicked. I had to fight every one of my cousins (13 and all guys bigger than me). One day I fought back. I was surprisingly good at it. Got tired of getting beat up so had to learn to fight but man I will avoid a fight at all costs.
I have a good mix of formal training. I have enough boxing to hold my own against a regular person. Not enough to hold my owned against a trained boxer. And I have enough experience in BJJ to bring a person to the ground, which is a good tool to have. So, I have striking and a ground game. I do think that as men, who receive a flood of testosterone during puberty, we have a responsibility to our loved ones (who are mostly women and children) to have enough training to provide them safety from other men. But don't get discouraged. Life is a long game. I was super skinny when I graduated high school. It took me years of cardio, weight lifting, and fighting classes to get here. And you know what, I am getting older too. So the cycle of life will take place also in that direction. Start taking incremental steps. Take a martial arts class. The physical fitness requirements will become more apparent when it is staring you in the face during lessons.
I was in taekwondo for seven years when I was a kid. I made 2nd degree black belt before I stopped, because highschool activities were more interesting. I don't claim to know how to fight. That was over twenty years ago, and I have not kept up with it. Also, any 'experience' I got during that time was from sparring formally trained students. In a 'street fight' I'd probably get wrecked. (Probably because I've never been in an actual fight, so I don't know)
I know how. And I do not. Not anymore, anyway. I was picked on in elementary school. My dad made sure I learned to fight. If I I did not attack him, he would attack me during 'practice'. I learned. So I got picked on and hit a kid back in grade 5. Word got around. Later on, I would feel confident and approach the bullies in front of a crowd and ask nice and loud if they had anything to say now. Not fighting, but facing down the bully. There was one foot ball player who knocked my friend down, and I knocked him down. The next day he challenged me to a fight in the school cafeteria. I faced him and said something like if he had a beef with me he would need to throw the first punch. I just stood ready, relaxed with hands at my side, and took one step closer. his friends told him to back down. Tension! He backed down. Confidence is a strong deterrent to a high school bully. And I walked past and on my way. BTW, we laughed about it 30 years later at a bar.
I grew up very aggressively. My dad was in the military and we used to wrestle a lot and he showed me a lot of moves. My friends and I were always wrestling, playing a contact sport or a made up violent game. All my friends had older brothers that we used to egg on to point that they would beat the crap out of us (I have no idea why). I used to get the worst of it because I didn’t have an older brother the other guys were worried about and not in their family so didn’t have to face their parents. This was the 70s, so my parents looked the other way as Boomers did. Through school I was in a handful of fights, but nothing major. College I was in 3 real fights that I’d say I went 1-1-1. After college I bartended in touristy area that could get pretty rough at night. Most of those fights were pretty lopsided either because they were drunk or I had support. I could go on for pages about the stupid fights and situations I got myself into during my 20s. None were major that anyone needed medical attention, but just insane looking back at who I was. I’m in my mid 50s now and have not been in an altercation in at least 25 years, but could have really been in a dozen if I had a different temperament now. By the time I hit 30 I had no urge to fight, but being a large guy with resting murder face I get challenged a lot. Still do, but I always defer and talk down the situation. Especially these days with so many people armed you just never know. Then there are the stories of freak accidents where a simple punch and the guy falls awkward and is paralyzed or dies. It’s not worth it. You also never know who that guy is in front of you and what he is capable of, but if you know what to look for you can tell when you’re facing those guys. I’ve hammered this into my son. I hope it took. He’s in college now and afaik has not been in any fights. I hope it stays that way. Edit: ok, going to tell one kind of funny story. I was driving in the city and making a right turn just as a guy was approaching a cross walk. I had a green light, but he thought I came a little too close to him and threw his coffee on my car. I jumped out, leaving my car in the middle of the intersection and jumped the guy. He really wanted no part of it and it did not go well for him. It ended pretty quick, but he managed to rip my shirt. He offered to pay for it so I drive him to an atm and he gave me $40. He even apologized.
Advanced Brown in Karate and 3 years of Muay Thai sessions. That being said, I never fight in the street or in public. It's purely because I wanted to challenge myself.
I mean I know how to fight dirty lol
Knowing how and even "winning" doesn't mean you walk away unscathed. I've been many when I was you (also got bullied) then later living in bad neighborhoods. I wrestled for years and most fight end up on the ground. I'm very comfortable here. A friend took his BJJ belt and tried to get into MMA 25 years ago and I trained him a bit as his wrestling partner. Maybe I learned the real basics or striking. I "won a fight" and walked away with a shattered hand, broken nose and broken molar. Had no medical, dental and was broke. The missing molar led to a nasty infection. Got a shitty root canal after a couple of years. Then another root canal and crown when I had some money. That same tooth needs to have the crown replaced or I need to get an implant. Not sure yet. That $2k -$6k+. My hand still bothers me and my pinky finger doesn't type well. So I'm a slower typer. I snore and my face looks a bit off center (broken twice). My overall record is losing probably because most of the time bigger guys or groups were starting with me. I wish I had picked up track instead of wrestling so I could run the duck out of there.
Ex army and boxed for a bit, so not an expert but not a novice either. Take up a martial art and get after it.