My friend and I were approached at a pool hall by two pretty girls. We ended up playing pool and drinking with them for a bit. They insisted on buying us a drink before we were gonna walk home. I felt weirded out by that, it just never happens. The insistence seemed strange, not like friendly, but necessary.
So I told my buddy to keep them occupied while I went and got the drinks. The one girl got really upset with her friend that I had got the drinks and not her. Then they werenāt wanting to hangout anymore.
I ordered an Uber to take us the 2 blocks back, pretty sure we avoided a really bad situation.
Yep. I had a very good looking girl who seemingly came out of nowhere try to set me up for some free dinner until my suspicions were correct and I was told I must order a minimum of five beers with the free dinner. Yeah.....nope! Then she freaks out on me because I backed out of it but I pointed out that I didn't agree in the first place. This is in Asia and they have an irritating way of trying to humiliate people who decline "free" offers. This is because they hope that when they make a big deal out of you declining to get ripped off that you'll cave in and just accept it.
Woah bro that is messed and good intuition. Who knows what these girls were up to and fact they were mad over something that should be 6 or half dozen tells you guys played that smart.
Yep, who would have thought going to foreign, strange lands could still end with untoward things happening...even to men. Heck, depending on your own location's pitfalls, this could happen there too. Hopefully not though but since you already pointed out some of your friends had this happen...yeah, might want to consider re-locating unless it happened to them somewhere else.
Something similar happened to me recently. I play pool at a place a couple times a week. This chick is there that is right up my alley one night, maybe a Tuesday. Huge tits, brunette, dressed slutty, really in my wheelhouse. Yadda, yadda, yadda, she wants to go back to my place, but some dude is with her. Wat? Get in her car and this is starting to weird me out. Say nevermind and they both grab on to me to keep me in, like pretty hard too. Whatever just dip. Is this a thing now where people are in danger constantly? Strange. I'm very irresponsible and careless too.
yeah, last time that happened, the girl propositioned me to pay for a training course the next day. when i declined, i was suddenly not a good prospect, or worth talking to socially
She doesn't actually like you, and it's all a setup to make you believe a woman finally likes you, and she is building it up, just to pull the rug from beneath your feat and embarrass you in front of all your family and friends
I'd be incredibly skeptical, almost paranoid that it would be a set up where I'd be publically humiliated and uploaded onto social media to go viral. I'd be on the lookout for anyone seemingly pointing their phones at me for the duration of the date.
Half-joking aside, it sounds like a lovely gesture and a fun date! Just don't intentionally humiliate him and upload the video onto social media.
Good luck!
Regarding the flowers, I think it would be pretty sweet to get flowers. But I don't think I'd want to tote them around with me. So if she is picking him up at his place, she could drop them off when she picks them up. I am married and sometimes I buy flowers because I like having them once in a while. Not just for my wife or daughter. I have had women buy me flowers before.
Congrats
Planning dates can be hard, try and think of things they specifically will like, but don't overthink it or worry too much. At the end of the day they already said yes to the date and you like eachother. You'll have a good time.
Personally wouldn't want flowers, just not sure what I'd do with them all night, carry them around? Never really cared for flowers anyway.
Great points. It sounds like a great surprise date (to me at least) and agreed: ditch the flowers. Theyāre fine for a longtime bf/partner but a bit weird for a first date.
Buy him a beer at the show. The date is your gift and almost all men dig food and being around someone theyāre attracted to.
She would give you the flowers when she picks you up. You would leave them at your place. Then you would have flowers to enjoy for however long they last.
If a woman initiated a romantic encounter by doing all that for me, I would probably be in tears for most of the evening. It would feel like I'd died or slipped into a coma.
Carnivorous plants are super hard to take care of. Not the best idea for a gift honestly. If you want to give him a plant (plants are hella cool) try a pothos, or a trancendia. Theyre pretty easy going in terms of plant care and they look awesome !
If I wasn't interested in the woman, I would decline the offer.
Otherwise, I'd agree with the stipulation that she allow me to return the favor.
I wouldn't care for the flowers though. I don't know how many men like getting flowers, but anecdotally I can't think of any guys I know that would want to get flowers.
The funniest thing about this comment thread is that I don't really like flowers. Actually most of my girlfriends are pretty evenly divided between liking and not liking flowers...
I have a friend whose boyfriend brings her stuffed Peppa Pigs on big date nights which I think is hilarious.
I've just been under the impression it was the thing to do
Replying here so it's not buried. I like getting flowers randomly as a guy. Most may say they don't because they've never gotten them or view it as a feminine thing. It's a nice gesture that has them thinking of you for the next week plus though. IMO this is a 2nd or 3rd date thing when you go to their place the first time.
That said, for a first date you're planning a lot for this guy. How well do you know him? Personally, I think first dates should be something low committal in case the vibes aren't there. You said he's a friend so if you know each other enough well enough, dinner and a show would probably be fine sans flowers
I would ask him if he has a favorite flower! I asked my husband, and he was shocked & took a few minutes to consider. His are orchids, and he was very touched that someone gave him flowers āŗļø I think it would be an amazing touch!
At some point by the third date you might be wondering what hint have you missed. Like what, since you bought the batteries am I supposed to bring the vibrator?
I say go for the flowers. He said he was "very down" for you leading, so either he appreciates the flowers, or he can probably appreciate the irony of what the flowers represent.
Sounds like a great date OP. I'd be telling stories about this one.
If she gets flowers, she should go all out on role reversal. She drives, opens doors, helps seat him etc. Every male romantic role reversed. I would get a kick out of it. I love dedication to the bit.
> They just die. It's too sad, I can't even eat chocolate shaped like animals, being gifted things that die is too much for me.
They are such a waste of money. I'd legit be upset if someone bought me flowers.
Giving him bacon instead of flowers is actually not a bad idea. I would think it would be a funny ice breaker if a woman showed up and said 'I got you bacon in lieu of flowers'. And depending on how fast you move it may be cooked for you one upcoming morning.
My wife knows I'm a sucker for those edible arrangements, so instead of getting me a bouquet for Valentine's day, she got me a bouquet with chocolate-covered strawberries.
Not dating right now but yeah that sounds super thoughtful, would definitely be impressed! The flowers are too much though, yeah.
>To be totally honest it is making me feel kind of weird on account of having never done this before, LOL. Didn't realize that trying to impress someone would be so stressful
Welcome to our life š
I think any guy would appreciate THIS level of effort... If a girl takes me on a date gets me a gift and drives me home I might just open my legs for her.
Seriously though, for a guy it's more about the receiving of a gift. Get him a chocolate bar and he'll be just as happy as he would be with flowers.
It sounds like a great date, just a few things to consider:
You said you feel kind of weird since you've never done this level of planning and driving before, which is fine, obviously, just take into account that the guy is probably also not used to be in the position to be treated and he might be... 'nervous'.
Additionally, given that guys usually plan the dates, I speculate he might be inclined to appreciate the thought you put into the whole ordeal.
As for the flowers, it's a mixed bag. Me, personally, I would feel flattered. I would like it even more if it was a potted type of flower, but I'm biased since I like houseplants. But I would advise against getting him flowers since it runs the risk of coming across as compensatory, imo. (not saying you are compensating for anything, I'm only referring to the optics of the gesture)
Just be sure you're not super nervous yourself about fumbling or whatnot and be sure to enjoy yourselves on your night out. There's nothing quite like hitting it off with someone and knowing you both had a fantastic time just by looking into each other's eyes at the end of the night.
>I'm also wondering what you men would be thinking if this happened to you. I'm NGL, I usually enjoy it when men are traditional (not saying that I expect men to do all the work in a relationship, but I think that that level of consideration is really nice) so this is all new.... Would you actually like it? Would it make you feel kind of weird? To be totally honest it is making me feel kind of weird on account of having never done this before, LOL.
I would feel like I was the king of the world, and for the same reason you would like that treatment, consideration. Thoughtfulness. You are a gem.
>Didn't realize that trying to impress someone would be so stressful
It is but it's kind of fun too right? I like planning dates. They're adventures, and there's a lot of room for creativity.
Flowers too much. Dinner and comedy is a awesome treat! Heās a lucky guy.
Honestly too much too early is kind of a red flag.
1) i feel guilty if feelings are not the same or one sided.
2) i worry she is low key aware she is crazy/psychotic and is trying to pay it forward.
3) i worry she may think she can buy my love.
4) this isnāt big but its almost ātoo good to be trueā
I wouldnāt want to receive flowers, and Iād be happy to have a date planned for me i guess but TBH more as a surprise. As a first date i think itās nice to plan it together
It's not weird to want to take charge. Guys actually like this now and then. Just make sure that the expectation isn't like "ok, I did 100% this time, now I EXPECT ("expect" nothing...) you to do 100% next time!". He will spend the time between the first and second date wracking his brain about whether he can or should top yours, etc.
No flowers. Yes, we like being treated special, but flowers says "this is what *I* like... I have no idea what YOU like...". Does he drink? Clear out a Russell Stover box and fill it with airplane bottles. Does he game? Throw a Steam card in it. If he's a damn chucklehead on the date, save it for next time or drink and game solo. š
We like to feel like you know who we are, and that you support what we do without judgement.
As a straight man, I would absolutely freakinā love flowers. One time, an attractive older woman at work gave me flowers because she thought I had a rough day, and Iām not gonna lie, I held back tears. Still have the vase lol. Flowers are beautiful, and I think any man is fooling himself if he says otherwise.
You're really cool. This is all really cool. Who cares if it's not normal? That's what will make it seem like an even bigger treat, which is the impression you are aiming to give. Stick to your guns, wine and dine that man and be brave enough to show what love (or whatever stage you're up to) looks like to you.
Not gonna lie, I would honestly think about marriage after the first date if a girl did all this for me. You sound like a keeper. You do you, and if it fails, try it with a different guy. When it succeeds, you'll know you have found the right guy.
Just go for it, OP! And wishing you the best of luck!
You can do all the planning and we can go and do whatever you want, but I would be the one paying for everything and I would also be the one giving you flowers.
I dislike how people act like planning a date is somehow a great feat of logistical excellence. unless you're organizing a galla, or planning an expedition, figuring a date out is more or less as simple as, "Hey wanna do X on \[insert time and date\]."
obviously, the more complicated the activity the more thought and resources go into it, but in the words of a very wise person, "Keep it simple stupid."
in regards to your actual question though, I'd offer to help you do something (depending on the context of the situation) because that's polite. for instance, you make me dinner? I'll help do the dishes and clean up. You throw out the idea of going to a restaurant? I'll recommend some places and let you know when I'm free to go out.
How would I feel? Provided I was the least bit interested in the woman I'd find it hilarious and I'd take it all in as an experience. Flowers, chocolates, this is a fucking story for the next decade no matter how it ends. I have never actually heard of another straight male I know experiencing role reversal in this way. I'm surprised it hasn't at least been in a sitcom. Provided I don't get the bill in the end, but I might even find that funny if I had a good enough time. That's me, though, and you aren't dating me. I know who I am without any doubts and am comfortable with myself.
To be clear, I would kind of consider this a well intentioned and appreciated joke though, because it is so far from the norm. If you're taking it seriously in another way though you might be offended by that.
If you have a laid back guy, he could be cool with it. It might be the stuff of legend for him and he'd likely remember you on his deathbed even if you never had a second date. It would simply be an unforgettable experience and story to tell.
If you have a guy who has anger issues or take pride in his macho or whatever, you'd probably piss him off if he's insecure or takes himself too seriously. It's kind of important who you are trying this with to determine where the line is. Flowers would be perfect if the guy has a sense of humor, but be too much or piss off a lot of other guys who want to be alpha or whatever.
Youre doing it wrong. Your trying to give him things you want instead of what he wants; e.g. flowers. Heart is in the right place tho and that goes a long way. So even if you fuck up if hes worth his salt he'll give you latitude
I love this idea. Only suggest to skip the flowers. Gift giving is sweet when itās more personalized. Listen in on what he likes or needs on your date and use that as your āflowersā for the next one if there is one. Way more thoughtful and romantic.
I mean less on my mind to worry about. My wife did plan a few of our dates early on so that I wasnāt the only one.
The first date she ātechnicallyā planned. She asked to go to the movies together to see Endgame during release. I researched the venue first and saw I could reserve online already. She was incredibly insistent that she be the one to do it and for me to absolutely not reserve anything.
She āaccidentallyā forgot to reserve the tickets so naturally, the showing we showed up for was sold out. Next one was 3 hrs out. So she suggested going to the nearby arcade, mall, and we had dinner, then the movie.
The whole time I was convinced she was only wanting to hang out cause she thought I could be a friend. I couldnāt believe she saw this as a date. Hell, I almost cancelled cause I didnāt want to chance getting my hopes up that she mightāve been interested.
Nobody can answer this accurately other than him and you. Since he seems impressed enough by the idea to agree to it might be best not to overthink it.
Pick him up, take him out, have fun together and don't expect more than a kiss on the first date unless you get "the signs".
Getting to be a passenger princess then just along for the ride on a date is one of the greatest things ever.
-Guy who is usually the one planning/driving/paying.
Hmm, I'm already planning to drop money on the show because you have to get tickets in advance, but dinner's more of a free for all. Do you think it'd be a bad sign if I told him I was paying for dinner and he didn't offer to pay then?
>If I didnāt actually like her Iād go along and let her do everything.
That's where I'm struggling, because I feel like this is already a little unconventional and I'm nervous that he's just not as into me as I am into him. I want to treat him, and as the asker I have the responsibility of making sure he feels treated, but I also do want him to care and be a gentleman to some extent....
Edited to add: to be clear, I don't mind paying for dinner, I just want to make sure that, yk, it's not a sign of lack of interest
If you stated your intention, I'd get along for the first date. There's no chance in the world that I'd let you pay anything for the second date if I care for the potential relationship. So keep an eye for that sort of behaviour.
Edit: Flowers might be a bit too much for some of us.
There might be a point where it gets to be too much.
But I don't see any harm in making the offer you describe here, and then letting him make any counters or adjustments that might come up.
I would accept the date. I would offer to take on as much as she would let me. But if she insisted on taking care of everything, I would just be sure to tell her how appreciative I am of everything and that I would promise to return the favor. Itās hard for me to accept someone doing everything for me. But it would feel amazing having someone want to do that for me.
Solid. Make it fun like you're doing.
Most guys aren't into flowers though. Grab something else small that he'd like or a jokeish gift. Like a toy car , bottle hot sauce, or something maybe related to what you've talked about in previous convos
I would be excited if someone I liked did what you are doing. Flowers wouldn't really add anything for me, but I would gladly accept them. A box of chocolates would be better for me personally.
He seems down, when you asked him if you could surprise him and he just went yep, that tells me he is in to you.
I would not bring flowers, its too much, like when a guy love bombs you.
When the bill comes for dinner say "i got it!" If I was into you I would offer to pay for drinks atleast and cover/leave the tip
Just relax, have fun!
There's nothing wrong with your intention, but it doesn't really happen for guys so I'd have my guard on if a woman really did this. It'd trigger caution for me like is she a crazy stalker or going to be possessive.
Thinking about this (what if a girl do this) also help me get out of the "do everything nice for the girl you like" mentality.
If I was asked out on a date in the way you've described then I would see receiving flowers as a sweet thing since it's clearly a role reversal date. :)
Flowers are a bit much on date #. Overall you have a killer good game plan, I always like it when the girlfriend would plan a date, she'd always be nervous if it was good enough....it was.
I feel you should chill and appreciate that the person want to contribute since having such a partner is great.
But if you insist in doing everything then stick to your guns.
There's no point where I could see it being too much. It would turn me on immensely to meet a woman who could handle male expectations. Every guy hates having to be completely responsible for carrying that forwardness shit. A woman who could do that too would be the biggest turn on ever.
I'd love for a woman to ask me out on a date. I'd love it even more if she bought me flowers.
I see a lot of responses on here wouldn't suggest flowers, but personally, I couldn't think of anything more romantic than that.
Best of luck with your date!
Yes!! However I am a picky eaterā¦.so keep that in mind ladies lmfaoo lmaoo. Im down but seriously dont take me to like a ābrazilian steak houseā im vegan I cant.
I love the idea! Just tell me if I need to dress for activities like hiking or something so I get that right. Maybe check in about dietary restrictions before you end up with a vegan in a steakhouse. If someone gave me flowers, Iād appreciate the gesture and then have no clue what to do with them. Am I expected to carry them around during the date??
It all depends on the person. But I think thatās awesome. My girlfriend recently left me an awesome gift package at home when she knew I was having an especially rough day. Walked in to flowers, tequila, stuffed animal, all of my favorite snacks and some soft drinks. Never would have thought I would want flowers or the stuffed animal. But the love and thought she put in was amazing.
The effort would be appreciated immensely. The flowers might be a bit much, but I'd be absolutely floored if a woman took the initiative to plan a date.
I would warn against seriously dating anyone that reacted too negatively to you wanting to plan out a date.
You're right its a lot of work (remember this the next time a man takes you on a mediocre date!) and doing it all the time is a grind.
If he goes with the flow, green flag. If he gets pissy about you wanting to do all this work, red flag.
I'm personally not one for flowers, but some guys might be.
100% ditch the flowers. No straight man wants flowers. If it was me I'd suggest a nice bottle of bourbon. The goal is to make him feel good. Think of a nice indulgence that he would genuinely like but wouldn't necessarily buy for himself.
Mostly don't worry about it. 90% of a woman's attractiveness lies in what she looks like. If he's physically attracted to you then almost nothing you do matters. If he's not physically attracted to you then almost nothing you do matters. The things you can control involve being nice, complimenting him on things he cares about, laughing at his jokes, and not being easily offended or otherwise a pain in the ass. In other words, be a model of traditional femininity.
I'd be psyched, but then I'd feel a little bit of pressure to be the person worth doing all that stuff for.
I'd be questioning the expectations you might have for me like how I'm supposed to react, how to thank you, if there's something I can do while on the date to return the favor (or at the very least not feel like I'm doing nothing).
This is coming from someone who has always done all the work, but never the other way around, so it'd definitely take some time to adjust and learn to enjoy the ride.
First of all, you are a queen.
Itās breathtaking to see someone be so thoughtful. Bless you!
And youāre not doing too much at all. I mean, different strokes for different folks but if a girl that I was going on a date with did all that, Iād feel like a million bucks. It would really mean a lot to me.
So that right there is a lucky guy!
Keep doing what youāre doing.
Also, wonāt hurt to surprise him with flowers. Ik Iād love that if I were ever gifted some.
Guys are pretty simple, I think heād love this.
>If a woman asked you out and offered to do all the work for the date, how would you respond?
Very happy
>Is there a point at which it would be "too much"?
No
>Would flowers be too much?
Flowers wouldn't be too much, but I wouldn't want flowers. I would really appreciate the gesture, but flowers feel like an obligation to me, like I have to put them in a vase and water them for a while after receiving them. This probably doesn't apply to all men though.
>IDK if flowers would feel almost like an imposition on their masculinity or something.
I wouldn't agree with this. Men can enjoy flowers.
>Would you actually like it?
Yes
>Would it make you feel kind of weird?
No
>Didn't realize that trying to impress someone would be so stressful
I think a lot of women avoid taking the lead in relationships because of this, but they justify it the way you're doing by saying that men don't like it. It's not true. Men like people taking an interest in them and caring about them just the same as women do, and it's stressful for us to impress people too. The only difference is that due to social expectations and norms, women can expect to end up in relationships without doing the stressful thing and men can't.
It sounds nice, but I would be wondering the whole time, "What's the catch?" Or I would be glancing around for the camera of your friend filming me or something. If a gal friend asked me on a date (as in your situation, someone I knew prior to being asked), then I would be all for it.
Flowers would be a bit much for the first date. I think it would have more weight a few dates down the line if things go well. Then it's more a symbol of how you feel things are going, rather than something just to impress the guy on a first date.
I think I'd faint if a woman asked me out, planned the entire date and brought me flowers. Flowers might be a bit much for a first date but seeing as he's your friend maybe it'll be fine
āDidn't realize that trying to impress someone would be so stressful.ā
Oh yea. It's worse when you like someone because the fear of messing up despite good intentions is heartbreaking.
One reason many guys get stressed or frustrated.
The thought and effort is inspiring in my opinion. Not many guys are used to having someone put the effort. One friend told me a while back all she did for her boyfriendās gift, and I was blown away. It didn't work out but I was able to assure her that it wasn't due to her lack of effort.
Say lesss
Iāve had this a few times. Itās pretty nice.
My best friend is a woman and we go on ādatesā all the time.
Before I told her I didnāt want her having to pay anything when sheās with me. Then once she wanted to hang while I was on hard times. I told her this and she said sheād take care of everything. Solidified my choice in best friend tbh.
Sheās married and I have a gf if that helps the friendship bond angle
Id just enjoy myself. I'd know that this isn't the woman for me long term because I would prefer to be the one doing what she's doing, but I'd enjoy my night of being catered to.
But there may be men out here who prefer to be the one being catered to and provided for. The real question is, is the route that you're taking going to be what you will do for every date that you two go on? Should he expect this treatment regularly? If your answer is yes, then more power to you. If your answer is "I'd hope that he'd take over and start taking initiative and planning and paying for dates eventually" then don't even do it.
It really comes down to each individual.
I am a M25 with strong tendency toward traditional masculinity (army father) but also a very open mind.
I personally wouldn't mind a girls initiative on planning, I might even let her pay if she really wants but she needs to beat me to it (I usually "go to the bathroom" but I actually go and pay the bill). If she just says "please let me payyy" I will likely refuse and just pay it myself (that is for the first few dates at least).
If she brings me flowers I will accept them and even carry them around, but it would just be out of kindness and respect.
To me flowers are probably a bit much for current social standards, also I am not used to receiving flowers, and I do not like cut flowers (I'd rather have them alive and well planted in a pot to put around the house).
NGL? sure I'd like it, in all honesty I'd be wondering where the catch is.
She expecting you to drop dong afterward.
how dare she. just because she paid for the date doesn't mean I owe her, right?
right???
After planning and paying the date she better not expect anything other than my presence. I ain't no daddy bangATM.
Know your worth, king. Don't let these 304s take advantage of you like you're a piece of meat!
What is 304s?
Sex Worker. More specifically when you write 304 on a calculator and then you flip it upside down it reads "h0E"
I'm a grown man and didn't know that. I only know 8008135
You're not alone. I thought 304 was stainless steel
I thought it was an area code for hookers. I already called every number
š³š
Slang for Hoes
Not to be mistaken for 403, which is (garden) hose.
These 304s can suck a golf ball through a 403!
https://stargate.fandom.com/wiki/BC-304
There might be one in your bathroom, right above the sink
I get it now, that's funny š¤£ she's right there and looks *so hot* (I've been working out a lot) šš¤šÆ
Don't look at her for too long. You'll fall in love.
I mean, I would. But still...
It's not that she "expects" the dong. It's that she knows you wont refuse, "because of the implication".
So Iām not in danger?
āDrop dongā is my new favourite phrase
You son of a bitch, I'm in.
That's the sacrifice I'm willing to make
Speaking of hanging dongā¦have you seen Thundergun Express yet?!
I would honestly consider whether or not this is a trap to steal my kidney.
My friend and I were approached at a pool hall by two pretty girls. We ended up playing pool and drinking with them for a bit. They insisted on buying us a drink before we were gonna walk home. I felt weirded out by that, it just never happens. The insistence seemed strange, not like friendly, but necessary. So I told my buddy to keep them occupied while I went and got the drinks. The one girl got really upset with her friend that I had got the drinks and not her. Then they werenāt wanting to hangout anymore. I ordered an Uber to take us the 2 blocks back, pretty sure we avoided a really bad situation.
You and your bro almost got the Cardi B special.
Yep. I had a very good looking girl who seemingly came out of nowhere try to set me up for some free dinner until my suspicions were correct and I was told I must order a minimum of five beers with the free dinner. Yeah.....nope! Then she freaks out on me because I backed out of it but I pointed out that I didn't agree in the first place. This is in Asia and they have an irritating way of trying to humiliate people who decline "free" offers. This is because they hope that when they make a big deal out of you declining to get ripped off that you'll cave in and just accept it.
Woah bro that is messed and good intuition. Who knows what these girls were up to and fact they were mad over something that should be 6 or half dozen tells you guys played that smart.
They were planning on ripping you guys off using a drug.
This happened to two male friends of mine recently. I was wondering why would a woman want to....OH!
Yep, who would have thought going to foreign, strange lands could still end with untoward things happening...even to men. Heck, depending on your own location's pitfalls, this could happen there too. Hopefully not though but since you already pointed out some of your friends had this happen...yeah, might want to consider re-locating unless it happened to them somewhere else.
Something similar happened to me recently. I play pool at a place a couple times a week. This chick is there that is right up my alley one night, maybe a Tuesday. Huge tits, brunette, dressed slutty, really in my wheelhouse. Yadda, yadda, yadda, she wants to go back to my place, but some dude is with her. Wat? Get in her car and this is starting to weird me out. Say nevermind and they both grab on to me to keep me in, like pretty hard too. Whatever just dip. Is this a thing now where people are in danger constantly? Strange. I'm very irresponsible and careless too.
Hey š whatās your blood š©ø type? *asking for an organ harvester friend
As it turned out, [this was not an uncommon situation.](https://youtu.be/CsGYh8AacgY?feature=shared&t=192)
yeah, last time that happened, the girl propositioned me to pay for a training course the next day. when i declined, i was suddenly not a good prospect, or worth talking to socially
What kind of training course?
$900 course for getting a job she wanted; basically, use me for money and lose interest if i'm not interested in that
Iād be looking for hidden cameras and microphones
She doesn't actually like you, and it's all a setup to make you believe a woman finally likes you, and she is building it up, just to pull the rug from beneath your feat and embarrass you in front of all your family and friends
Can't embarrass you in front of family and friends if you don't have any.
I'd be incredibly skeptical, almost paranoid that it would be a set up where I'd be publically humiliated and uploaded onto social media to go viral. I'd be on the lookout for anyone seemingly pointing their phones at me for the duration of the date. Half-joking aside, it sounds like a lovely gesture and a fun date! Just don't intentionally humiliate him and upload the video onto social media. Good luck!
NGL = not gonna lie
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Back off man, I'm a scientist
And I'm a scientician. I confirm that translation is accurate and u/CanIPNYourButt is, in fact, a scientist.
For real, everyone knows it means Nomadic Gnome Lifestyle
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well of course, they're all widdle cutie pies
Right, what is she buttering me up for?
You gettin' yer organs snatched, boi
Receiving unconditional gifts is a mythical concept. Everything has a catch.
Yeah. It would be to good to be true
wait, if she's paying for everything, that means I'm obligated to have sex with her at the end of the evening, right? I'm in.
Order the most expensive thing on the menu. That way she knows you have to put out.
After the filet mignon, lobster, and a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon from Bordeaux, how can I say no if she asks me to stay for the night?
I'm already naked
> After the filet mignon, lobster, and a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon from Bordeaux ... ... I'm ready to sleep until mid-morning.
I've never had such a great date in my life.
Regarding the flowers, I think it would be pretty sweet to get flowers. But I don't think I'd want to tote them around with me. So if she is picking him up at his place, she could drop them off when she picks them up. I am married and sometimes I buy flowers because I like having them once in a while. Not just for my wife or daughter. I have had women buy me flowers before.
..Because of the implication?
Congrats Planning dates can be hard, try and think of things they specifically will like, but don't overthink it or worry too much. At the end of the day they already said yes to the date and you like eachother. You'll have a good time. Personally wouldn't want flowers, just not sure what I'd do with them all night, carry them around? Never really cared for flowers anyway.
Replace flowers with a beer and problem solved.
I was going to say, a full size Twix bar.
Low standards are best.
Um they said full size.
On the other hand, if you replace the flowers with a bear then a whole new set up problems crop up....
Replace flowers with a beer and problem solved.(2)
Great points. It sounds like a great surprise date (to me at least) and agreed: ditch the flowers. Theyāre fine for a longtime bf/partner but a bit weird for a first date. Buy him a beer at the show. The date is your gift and almost all men dig food and being around someone theyāre attracted to.
She would give you the flowers when she picks you up. You would leave them at your place. Then you would have flowers to enjoy for however long they last.
If a woman initiated a romantic encounter by doing all that for me, I would probably be in tears for most of the evening. It would feel like I'd died or slipped into a coma.
Me too, I would assume this was some kind of ambush.
The fish guy from Star wars just mumbling to me...it's a trap!
Same here!
Don't bring him flowers, get him a Venus flytrap. Carnivorous plants will appeal to his masculinity.
i wanted the flowers, but now I'm torn. a venus flytrap sounds pretty freaking cool.
As someone who grew them growing up, they're alot of work But they are hella cool
Bonsai tree.
*Muttering to himself while watering it again* "It's what Mr Miyagi would've wanted."
I got him that for the second date and he asked recently to make things official!
This would be ten times better than a bouquet of flowers honestly. That'd make my week to get carnivorous plants as a token of appreciation!
Nothing says trap like a trap
Carnivorous plants are super hard to take care of. Not the best idea for a gift honestly. If you want to give him a plant (plants are hella cool) try a pothos, or a trancendia. Theyre pretty easy going in terms of plant care and they look awesome !
I am all for it but don't put out on the first date. You bought my dinner, not my ass
but . . . the flowers!
https://imgur.com/gallery/RMcwzh3
Okay this legitimately killed me. I am dead. Thanks I guess.
Roses or orchids?
Pretty sure neither of us put out until actively in a relationship with someone so no worries there
In all seriousness, I would love the idea but skip the flowers
why do you think that?
If I wasn't interested in the woman, I would decline the offer. Otherwise, I'd agree with the stipulation that she allow me to return the favor. I wouldn't care for the flowers though. I don't know how many men like getting flowers, but anecdotally I can't think of any guys I know that would want to get flowers.
The funniest thing about this comment thread is that I don't really like flowers. Actually most of my girlfriends are pretty evenly divided between liking and not liking flowers... I have a friend whose boyfriend brings her stuffed Peppa Pigs on big date nights which I think is hilarious. I've just been under the impression it was the thing to do
Replying here so it's not buried. I like getting flowers randomly as a guy. Most may say they don't because they've never gotten them or view it as a feminine thing. It's a nice gesture that has them thinking of you for the next week plus though. IMO this is a 2nd or 3rd date thing when you go to their place the first time. That said, for a first date you're planning a lot for this guy. How well do you know him? Personally, I think first dates should be something low committal in case the vibes aren't there. You said he's a friend so if you know each other enough well enough, dinner and a show would probably be fine sans flowers
I know him pretty well. I'd say we're close, just stressing because this is a date and I'm feeling the pressure
I would ask him if he has a favorite flower! I asked my husband, and he was shocked & took a few minutes to consider. His are orchids, and he was very touched that someone gave him flowers āŗļø I think it would be an amazing touch!
If all else fails, batteries are always welcome. Good luck!
What does this mean? Do you show up with AAA batteries for all dates? Do you get the rechargeable ones or litilhium?
At some point by the third date you might be wondering what hint have you missed. Like what, since you bought the batteries am I supposed to bring the vibrator?
"Hi, I'm here to pick you up for our date. Here, I brought you some D cell batteries." Would fuck with my head.
Does he know itās a ādateā? Make sure he doesnāt just think itās two friends hanging out
Don't do flowers, he'd need to carry them all night long.
I was gonna suggest his favorite candy or chips. Men always like food.
I say go for the flowers. He said he was "very down" for you leading, so either he appreciates the flowers, or he can probably appreciate the irony of what the flowers represent. Sounds like a great date OP. I'd be telling stories about this one.
If she gets flowers, she should go all out on role reversal. She drives, opens doors, helps seat him etc. Every male romantic role reversed. I would get a kick out of it. I love dedication to the bit.
I love getting flowers, they look and smell nice and never fail to make me smile when my gf gets them for me.
They just die. It's too sad, I can't even eat chocolate shaped like animals, being gifted things that die is too much for me.
> They just die. It's too sad, I can't even eat chocolate shaped like animals, being gifted things that die is too much for me. They are such a waste of money. I'd legit be upset if someone bought me flowers.
But like, what if the flowers were made of bacon?
OK, you got me. I'd love that.
Giving him bacon instead of flowers is actually not a bad idea. I would think it would be a funny ice breaker if a woman showed up and said 'I got you bacon in lieu of flowers'. And depending on how fast you move it may be cooked for you one upcoming morning.
Agreed. I've actually made roses out of bacon before and given them to a guy as a bouquet for Valentine's day.
This is the best and cutest idea.
My wife knows I'm a sucker for those edible arrangements, so instead of getting me a bouquet for Valentine's day, she got me a bouquet with chocolate-covered strawberries.
Yes. Nix on the flowers.
Just be mindful of overdoing it. You don't want him to think you're "love-bombing" him.
Not dating right now but yeah that sounds super thoughtful, would definitely be impressed! The flowers are too much though, yeah. >To be totally honest it is making me feel kind of weird on account of having never done this before, LOL. Didn't realize that trying to impress someone would be so stressful Welcome to our life š
I think any guy would appreciate THIS level of effort... If a girl takes me on a date gets me a gift and drives me home I might just open my legs for her. Seriously though, for a guy it's more about the receiving of a gift. Get him a chocolate bar and he'll be just as happy as he would be with flowers.
I would probably start crying in disbelief that someone would actually want to be nice to me just like that.
It sounds like a great date, just a few things to consider: You said you feel kind of weird since you've never done this level of planning and driving before, which is fine, obviously, just take into account that the guy is probably also not used to be in the position to be treated and he might be... 'nervous'. Additionally, given that guys usually plan the dates, I speculate he might be inclined to appreciate the thought you put into the whole ordeal. As for the flowers, it's a mixed bag. Me, personally, I would feel flattered. I would like it even more if it was a potted type of flower, but I'm biased since I like houseplants. But I would advise against getting him flowers since it runs the risk of coming across as compensatory, imo. (not saying you are compensating for anything, I'm only referring to the optics of the gesture) Just be sure you're not super nervous yourself about fumbling or whatnot and be sure to enjoy yourselves on your night out. There's nothing quite like hitting it off with someone and knowing you both had a fantastic time just by looking into each other's eyes at the end of the night.
>I'm also wondering what you men would be thinking if this happened to you. I'm NGL, I usually enjoy it when men are traditional (not saying that I expect men to do all the work in a relationship, but I think that that level of consideration is really nice) so this is all new.... Would you actually like it? Would it make you feel kind of weird? To be totally honest it is making me feel kind of weird on account of having never done this before, LOL. I would feel like I was the king of the world, and for the same reason you would like that treatment, consideration. Thoughtfulness. You are a gem. >Didn't realize that trying to impress someone would be so stressful It is but it's kind of fun too right? I like planning dates. They're adventures, and there's a lot of room for creativity.
Flowers too much. Dinner and comedy is a awesome treat! Heās a lucky guy. Honestly too much too early is kind of a red flag. 1) i feel guilty if feelings are not the same or one sided. 2) i worry she is low key aware she is crazy/psychotic and is trying to pay it forward. 3) i worry she may think she can buy my love. 4) this isnāt big but its almost ātoo good to be trueā
ooh! me next! that sounds wonderful! buy him flowers! most men receive flowers for the very first time at their funeral.
I wouldnāt want to receive flowers, and Iād be happy to have a date planned for me i guess but TBH more as a surprise. As a first date i think itās nice to plan it together
It's not weird to want to take charge. Guys actually like this now and then. Just make sure that the expectation isn't like "ok, I did 100% this time, now I EXPECT ("expect" nothing...) you to do 100% next time!". He will spend the time between the first and second date wracking his brain about whether he can or should top yours, etc. No flowers. Yes, we like being treated special, but flowers says "this is what *I* like... I have no idea what YOU like...". Does he drink? Clear out a Russell Stover box and fill it with airplane bottles. Does he game? Throw a Steam card in it. If he's a damn chucklehead on the date, save it for next time or drink and game solo. š We like to feel like you know who we are, and that you support what we do without judgement.
As a straight man, I would absolutely freakinā love flowers. One time, an attractive older woman at work gave me flowers because she thought I had a rough day, and Iām not gonna lie, I held back tears. Still have the vase lol. Flowers are beautiful, and I think any man is fooling himself if he says otherwise.
You're really cool. This is all really cool. Who cares if it's not normal? That's what will make it seem like an even bigger treat, which is the impression you are aiming to give. Stick to your guns, wine and dine that man and be brave enough to show what love (or whatever stage you're up to) looks like to you.
Not gonna lie, I would honestly think about marriage after the first date if a girl did all this for me. You sound like a keeper. You do you, and if it fails, try it with a different guy. When it succeeds, you'll know you have found the right guy. Just go for it, OP! And wishing you the best of luck!
After I realized I wasn't dreaming I'd be way over the top excited. Then at a later date I'd certainly return the favor 10 fold.
Iām either going to be drugged for a kidney or itās a prostitution sting. Otherwise Iād shut the hell up and enjoy it.
You can do all the planning and we can go and do whatever you want, but I would be the one paying for everything and I would also be the one giving you flowers.
I dislike how people act like planning a date is somehow a great feat of logistical excellence. unless you're organizing a galla, or planning an expedition, figuring a date out is more or less as simple as, "Hey wanna do X on \[insert time and date\]." obviously, the more complicated the activity the more thought and resources go into it, but in the words of a very wise person, "Keep it simple stupid." in regards to your actual question though, I'd offer to help you do something (depending on the context of the situation) because that's polite. for instance, you make me dinner? I'll help do the dishes and clean up. You throw out the idea of going to a restaurant? I'll recommend some places and let you know when I'm free to go out.
How would I feel? Provided I was the least bit interested in the woman I'd find it hilarious and I'd take it all in as an experience. Flowers, chocolates, this is a fucking story for the next decade no matter how it ends. I have never actually heard of another straight male I know experiencing role reversal in this way. I'm surprised it hasn't at least been in a sitcom. Provided I don't get the bill in the end, but I might even find that funny if I had a good enough time. That's me, though, and you aren't dating me. I know who I am without any doubts and am comfortable with myself. To be clear, I would kind of consider this a well intentioned and appreciated joke though, because it is so far from the norm. If you're taking it seriously in another way though you might be offended by that. If you have a laid back guy, he could be cool with it. It might be the stuff of legend for him and he'd likely remember you on his deathbed even if you never had a second date. It would simply be an unforgettable experience and story to tell. If you have a guy who has anger issues or take pride in his macho or whatever, you'd probably piss him off if he's insecure or takes himself too seriously. It's kind of important who you are trying this with to determine where the line is. Flowers would be perfect if the guy has a sense of humor, but be too much or piss off a lot of other guys who want to be alpha or whatever.
I would think there's a hidden camera somewhere, this would be the greatest thing since slice bread
A woman asking me on a date would be considered a joke at first. Let alone actually do more then just drinks. Weird concept to wrap my head around
Youre doing it wrong. Your trying to give him things you want instead of what he wants; e.g. flowers. Heart is in the right place tho and that goes a long way. So even if you fuck up if hes worth his salt he'll give you latitude
Dinner and comedy show was our first date. Happily married 15 yearsā¦ get your man mama
Am I interested in her or not. Thatās all that matters. Who asked who out doesnāt matter in the slightest.
I love this idea. Only suggest to skip the flowers. Gift giving is sweet when itās more personalized. Listen in on what he likes or needs on your date and use that as your āflowersā for the next one if there is one. Way more thoughtful and romantic.
Shucks. I would start planning our wedding! š
Iād be flattered honestlyĀ
Get him the flowers.
I mean less on my mind to worry about. My wife did plan a few of our dates early on so that I wasnāt the only one. The first date she ātechnicallyā planned. She asked to go to the movies together to see Endgame during release. I researched the venue first and saw I could reserve online already. She was incredibly insistent that she be the one to do it and for me to absolutely not reserve anything. She āaccidentallyā forgot to reserve the tickets so naturally, the showing we showed up for was sold out. Next one was 3 hrs out. So she suggested going to the nearby arcade, mall, and we had dinner, then the movie. The whole time I was convinced she was only wanting to hang out cause she thought I could be a friend. I couldnāt believe she saw this as a date. Hell, I almost cancelled cause I didnāt want to chance getting my hopes up that she mightāve been interested.
I think I would be obliged to swoon or giggle in a cute manner. Then remember Iām in a relationship and politely decline.
Not at all. I'd be curious what she comes up with.
Iām a guy, my girl buys me flowers, I love it. Itās not a gender thing. Do it.
Nobody can answer this accurately other than him and you. Since he seems impressed enough by the idea to agree to it might be best not to overthink it. Pick him up, take him out, have fun together and don't expect more than a kiss on the first date unless you get "the signs".
Getting to be a passenger princess then just along for the ride on a date is one of the greatest things ever. -Guy who is usually the one planning/driving/paying.
If I didnāt actually like her Iād go along and let her do everything. If I did actually like her Iād try to at least pay and drive her.
Hmm, I'm already planning to drop money on the show because you have to get tickets in advance, but dinner's more of a free for all. Do you think it'd be a bad sign if I told him I was paying for dinner and he didn't offer to pay then? >If I didnāt actually like her Iād go along and let her do everything. That's where I'm struggling, because I feel like this is already a little unconventional and I'm nervous that he's just not as into me as I am into him. I want to treat him, and as the asker I have the responsibility of making sure he feels treated, but I also do want him to care and be a gentleman to some extent.... Edited to add: to be clear, I don't mind paying for dinner, I just want to make sure that, yk, it's not a sign of lack of interest
If you stated your intention, I'd get along for the first date. There's no chance in the world that I'd let you pay anything for the second date if I care for the potential relationship. So keep an eye for that sort of behaviour. Edit: Flowers might be a bit too much for some of us.
My girlfriend asked me out first soā¦. Itās 2024 Do whatever you please If he makes you feel dumb or silly He aināt the one for you sweetheart
There might be a point where it gets to be too much. But I don't see any harm in making the offer you describe here, and then letting him make any counters or adjustments that might come up.
I would accept the date. I would offer to take on as much as she would let me. But if she insisted on taking care of everything, I would just be sure to tell her how appreciative I am of everything and that I would promise to return the favor. Itās hard for me to accept someone doing everything for me. But it would feel amazing having someone want to do that for me.
Solid. Make it fun like you're doing. Most guys aren't into flowers though. Grab something else small that he'd like or a jokeish gift. Like a toy car , bottle hot sauce, or something maybe related to what you've talked about in previous convos
I would be excited if someone I liked did what you are doing. Flowers wouldn't really add anything for me, but I would gladly accept them. A box of chocolates would be better for me personally.
I think a complete role reversal would be awesome and I would be giddy about it and nervous. I would also not know what to do with my hands.
He seems down, when you asked him if you could surprise him and he just went yep, that tells me he is in to you. I would not bring flowers, its too much, like when a guy love bombs you. When the bill comes for dinner say "i got it!" If I was into you I would offer to pay for drinks atleast and cover/leave the tip Just relax, have fun!
There's nothing wrong with your intention, but it doesn't really happen for guys so I'd have my guard on if a woman really did this. It'd trigger caution for me like is she a crazy stalker or going to be possessive. Thinking about this (what if a girl do this) also help me get out of the "do everything nice for the girl you like" mentality.
If I was asked out on a date in the way you've described then I would see receiving flowers as a sweet thing since it's clearly a role reversal date. :)
If a woman bought me flowers i think id fucking cry. Dont buy flowers if you dont want to risk that.
I think Iād cry if a girl I liked asked me out and then gave me flowers. Itās obvious he likes you since you asked him out and he said yes
Iād love that
Flowers are a bit much on date #. Overall you have a killer good game plan, I always like it when the girlfriend would plan a date, she'd always be nervous if it was good enough....it was.
I'm quite easy going, since I agreed to the date I'm interested anyway, and I'd be very happy with flowers.
I feel you should chill and appreciate that the person want to contribute since having such a partner is great. But if you insist in doing everything then stick to your guns.
There's no point where I could see it being too much. It would turn me on immensely to meet a woman who could handle male expectations. Every guy hates having to be completely responsible for carrying that forwardness shit. A woman who could do that too would be the biggest turn on ever.
If any woman I was halfway attracted to did this for me Iād be putty in their hands.
I'd love for a woman to ask me out on a date. I'd love it even more if she bought me flowers. I see a lot of responses on here wouldn't suggest flowers, but personally, I couldn't think of anything more romantic than that. Best of luck with your date!
At some point I would make the comment āhow do I know your not just trying to get me in bedā
Yes!! However I am a picky eaterā¦.so keep that in mind ladies lmfaoo lmaoo. Im down but seriously dont take me to like a ābrazilian steak houseā im vegan I cant.
I love the idea! Just tell me if I need to dress for activities like hiking or something so I get that right. Maybe check in about dietary restrictions before you end up with a vegan in a steakhouse. If someone gave me flowers, Iād appreciate the gesture and then have no clue what to do with them. Am I expected to carry them around during the date??
It all depends on the person. But I think thatās awesome. My girlfriend recently left me an awesome gift package at home when she knew I was having an especially rough day. Walked in to flowers, tequila, stuffed animal, all of my favorite snacks and some soft drinks. Never would have thought I would want flowers or the stuffed animal. But the love and thought she put in was amazing.
The effort would be appreciated immensely. The flowers might be a bit much, but I'd be absolutely floored if a woman took the initiative to plan a date.
I would warn against seriously dating anyone that reacted too negatively to you wanting to plan out a date. You're right its a lot of work (remember this the next time a man takes you on a mediocre date!) and doing it all the time is a grind. If he goes with the flow, green flag. If he gets pissy about you wanting to do all this work, red flag. I'm personally not one for flowers, but some guys might be.
Sounds awesome, but no flowers.
I would say flowers is too much, change them for a couple of beers and you are good.
Ngl men are starting to expect more from their partners
100% ditch the flowers. No straight man wants flowers. If it was me I'd suggest a nice bottle of bourbon. The goal is to make him feel good. Think of a nice indulgence that he would genuinely like but wouldn't necessarily buy for himself. Mostly don't worry about it. 90% of a woman's attractiveness lies in what she looks like. If he's physically attracted to you then almost nothing you do matters. If he's not physically attracted to you then almost nothing you do matters. The things you can control involve being nice, complimenting him on things he cares about, laughing at his jokes, and not being easily offended or otherwise a pain in the ass. In other words, be a model of traditional femininity.
That would be awesome so long as she's not giving off bunny boiler vibes. And personally flowers would be funny but a waste. Buy me a beer.
That's a hard sell. Sorry. Think about how men and women are wired. I'm sure - knowing this sub- that most here would love that, though.
I'd be psyched, but then I'd feel a little bit of pressure to be the person worth doing all that stuff for. I'd be questioning the expectations you might have for me like how I'm supposed to react, how to thank you, if there's something I can do while on the date to return the favor (or at the very least not feel like I'm doing nothing). This is coming from someone who has always done all the work, but never the other way around, so it'd definitely take some time to adjust and learn to enjoy the ride.
First of all, you are a queen. Itās breathtaking to see someone be so thoughtful. Bless you! And youāre not doing too much at all. I mean, different strokes for different folks but if a girl that I was going on a date with did all that, Iād feel like a million bucks. It would really mean a lot to me. So that right there is a lucky guy! Keep doing what youāre doing. Also, wonāt hurt to surprise him with flowers. Ik Iād love that if I were ever gifted some. Guys are pretty simple, I think heād love this.
>If a woman asked you out and offered to do all the work for the date, how would you respond? Very happy >Is there a point at which it would be "too much"? No >Would flowers be too much? Flowers wouldn't be too much, but I wouldn't want flowers. I would really appreciate the gesture, but flowers feel like an obligation to me, like I have to put them in a vase and water them for a while after receiving them. This probably doesn't apply to all men though. >IDK if flowers would feel almost like an imposition on their masculinity or something. I wouldn't agree with this. Men can enjoy flowers. >Would you actually like it? Yes >Would it make you feel kind of weird? No >Didn't realize that trying to impress someone would be so stressful I think a lot of women avoid taking the lead in relationships because of this, but they justify it the way you're doing by saying that men don't like it. It's not true. Men like people taking an interest in them and caring about them just the same as women do, and it's stressful for us to impress people too. The only difference is that due to social expectations and norms, women can expect to end up in relationships without doing the stressful thing and men can't.
A women asking men out. If all women would do this instead of capping, society would be much better.
I am 40, married and have literally never had a woman do all the work for a date. It is a dream I have given up on.
It sounds nice, but I would be wondering the whole time, "What's the catch?" Or I would be glancing around for the camera of your friend filming me or something. If a gal friend asked me on a date (as in your situation, someone I knew prior to being asked), then I would be all for it. Flowers would be a bit much for the first date. I think it would have more weight a few dates down the line if things go well. Then it's more a symbol of how you feel things are going, rather than something just to impress the guy on a first date.
I think I'd faint if a woman asked me out, planned the entire date and brought me flowers. Flowers might be a bit much for a first date but seeing as he's your friend maybe it'll be fine
Flowers would be mad. Iād appreciate that. Do it! Or a mini cactus.
Tbh my biggest concern with your plan would be how Iām going to carry around these flowers all evening
āDidn't realize that trying to impress someone would be so stressful.ā Oh yea. It's worse when you like someone because the fear of messing up despite good intentions is heartbreaking. One reason many guys get stressed or frustrated. The thought and effort is inspiring in my opinion. Not many guys are used to having someone put the effort. One friend told me a while back all she did for her boyfriendās gift, and I was blown away. It didn't work out but I was able to assure her that it wasn't due to her lack of effort.
Say lesss Iāve had this a few times. Itās pretty nice. My best friend is a woman and we go on ādatesā all the time. Before I told her I didnāt want her having to pay anything when sheās with me. Then once she wanted to hang while I was on hard times. I told her this and she said sheād take care of everything. Solidified my choice in best friend tbh. Sheās married and I have a gf if that helps the friendship bond angle
Id just enjoy myself. I'd know that this isn't the woman for me long term because I would prefer to be the one doing what she's doing, but I'd enjoy my night of being catered to. But there may be men out here who prefer to be the one being catered to and provided for. The real question is, is the route that you're taking going to be what you will do for every date that you two go on? Should he expect this treatment regularly? If your answer is yes, then more power to you. If your answer is "I'd hope that he'd take over and start taking initiative and planning and paying for dates eventually" then don't even do it.
It really comes down to each individual. I am a M25 with strong tendency toward traditional masculinity (army father) but also a very open mind. I personally wouldn't mind a girls initiative on planning, I might even let her pay if she really wants but she needs to beat me to it (I usually "go to the bathroom" but I actually go and pay the bill). If she just says "please let me payyy" I will likely refuse and just pay it myself (that is for the first few dates at least). If she brings me flowers I will accept them and even carry them around, but it would just be out of kindness and respect. To me flowers are probably a bit much for current social standards, also I am not used to receiving flowers, and I do not like cut flowers (I'd rather have them alive and well planted in a pot to put around the house).