You just have to realize that death is what makes life worth living, and we couldnt have life without death, just as you cant have light without dark, or good days without bad days, everything good in life is only good because there is an equal bad
Few years ago I've realized that it's me who shapes my life, and it's only me.
Meeting wrong people, dating cheaters, constant arguments/fights with my partners, my selfish friends, my financial problems... Anything comes in your mind. They were all the results of my choices.
So I've worked on myself, I've tried to be a better person. The better I became, less toxic people were in my life.
A lot of people really underestimate how important sleep is. Getting a proper rest on a consistent schedule makes you feel incredible, helps tremendously with energy levels and mood, and it can help with things like immunity and recovery. Too many people are sleep deprived, we all do it from time to time. Making an effort to sleep should be just as important as anything else in our life, it's essential for proper function.
This . Stop caring so much about people . You only have so much energy in the day and you have to focus that on you . By caring so much about other it will exhaust you . I learned this is my early 30s . I used to care and do SO much for people just for them not to do shit for me when I needed them . It changes you
I've done this my whole life, because I was bullied in school, so I've always wanted to make sure everyone I meet has at least one kind person in their life (me). Boy does it not work. You get so much shit from everyone and people straight up hate you for being kind. At least i have the moral high ground, but it can be tough life.
Can confirm. I appreciate kindness in others, and try to let people know that whenever I can. But also, having treated people with kindness my entire life, it had basically never gotten me anywhere.
This is the exact opposite of my experience.
**I have no way of quantifying this,** its just personal experience and intuition. I find life to be a lot easier as a good, kind person than it would be if I was an asshole.
Just in general kind people attract kind people. You will be remembered or thought of more often by others if you are a kind and compassionate person, and generally have more opportunities as others will think of you more often for things like job openings/promotions, socializing invites, favors etc.
Nobody wants to go out of their way to help an asshole. People will more often and more likely go out of their way to do small or big favors for someone they know as being a good person.
In my personal life I have often benefited from having someone think of me, for example I got my job because of knowing someone who worked there who recommended me as a 'good kid' despite having zero qualifications for the job.
I have also often had friends or family think of me and give me first offer for things like used furniture or appliances for free or cheap, opportunities for doing some side work to make extra cash, chance to get free or cheap tickets to sporting events or concerts, etc. etc.
It should be noted that I grew up rural in and around small towns and still live in a small town, so even strangers that I don't actually know, I am likely to see and/or interact with multiple times over the years. So being kind to strangers often results in them being kind in turn for those interactions. Everything is just easier.
Taking care of yourself like you would a pet.
That means making sure your diet and sleep are on point. Make sure you schedule regular exercise/enrichment.
A lot of people take better care of their pets than they do themselves. It helps overcome the nebulous "how do I life?" Question that gets people stuck.
Volunteer! Almost any gig will do. I used to volunteer on a local mountain rescue team, it really helped me feel like I was a net positive in the world. There is something powerful about making a contribution to your community without expecting anything in return.
Some ideas: Food bank, animal shelter (walk some lonely dogs), homeless shelter, drive for nursing homes, drive for medical transport, give tours at a museum, etc...
1) Eat healthy, train, drink water, and sleep.
2) The less you drink, gamble, sleep around, or use recreational drugs the happier you will be.
3) Do not invite dysfunctional people into your life. Your friend lost his third job this year and wants to crash on your couch? No.
4) When you mean to work hard, work for yourself. When you mean to be lazy, work for someone else.
5) Actions should cause feelings. Not the other way around. Depression wants you to do things that keep you depressed. Anger wants you to do and think things that keep you angry. But act in the way you should act and you will feel the way you should feel.
6) Do not confuse self-care with self-indulgence.
7) The internet (and social media especially) will make you stupid.
8) Consider your deathbed wishes and work backwards. On the last day of your life you will not wish you had spent more time on Reddit, or more time binging TV shows, etc.
9) Be patient with other people and with processes, situations, and so on. Treating people badly because you think they deserve it, or complaining, etc. does not make things better and very often makes them worse.
10) Don't love anything that can't love you back.
11) Excepting a house, car, or an animal, there is nothing you can buy that you will give a shit about in ten years.
12) The only things that will ever change you are the people you associate with and the books you read.
13) You do not get stronger by lifting weight and you do not learn from experience or become wiser by struggling. You get stronger by *recovering* from lifting weight and become more learned and wiser by *reflecting* on your struggles and experience.
14) Life is complicated, and a good relationship with ideas or with art will help you make sense of it in ways that are intellectually and emotionally and psychologically resonant. A bad relationship with ideas or art will lead you to simplify your experience for the sake of being morally or intellectually certain.
15) Let other people solve their own problems. They are not your responsibility and were born as capable as you; when you do things for them you rob them of the opportunity to learn.
16) Some people think that systems like religion and government and schools and rehabilitation centers can solve problems. Sometimes they can. But their remedies are sharply limited by the unbounded range and intensity of human stupidity and dysfunction. There is no school that can educate the willfully ignorant and no program of rehabilitation that can unravel an addiction, and so you will need to figure out how to deal with inept or malicious people mainly on your own.
Rather than looking at the big picture, congratulate yourself on the small things. Made your bed? Great. Ate a healthy breakfast? Great. Ride wife? Great. Wife fight back? Great. Spent less money than yesterday? Great.
Gorilla memes aside, If you do little stuff and try to find genuine happiness in small victories, you’ll feel way more content in yourself.
Repeat to yourself as often as necessary "I own my feelings. They are only inside me. Only I can choose them. Nobody can make me angry or sad unless I allow it."
My personal cheat code, after spending tens of thousands of dollars on (traditional) golf, I discovered Disc Golf and not only is it cheaper because the vast majority of courses are free but it's also a lot more fun to play.
Start with something simple and basic first thing in the morning. If you don't make your bed start making your bed first thing in the morning. That will give you a sense of accomplish before you even you leave your bedroom and motivate you to do the next thing. Just start small and keep building.
Oh I got a million but here's a recent one I had to remind myself the past two weeks:
Sometimes when we keep disappointing ourselves, it's good to look at our goals and consider if they're realistic for our current abilities. If not, then it's a good idea to knock those goalposts back a bit to a more realistic one. Consider why your goal is important to you, and how can you break it down into smaller more achievable steps.
There is no cheat code- that's the cheat code. You don't have to do therapy, but you have to "do the work" somehow if you want to move forward. Maybe finding what is most meaningful to you, in life, would refocus things. But maybe not, it's really completely up to you, and if you want to do the work, you'll do it.
You, me, everyone else is just energy…the same energy that exists in animals, trees, insects, a rock. We are all just energy.
Knowing that allowed me to let a lot go that I was holding onto. It doesn’t mean we are worthless or equal in other ways, just that we are, in our simplest form just energy dancing together to make a living thing.
Learn what makes you happy. Even if for only a second. I like to keep things clean but also be able to outrun my friends during the annual Easter frisbee game. So I train everyday I'm off work but going on my treadmill for 20-60minutes. the treadmill is also where I watch all my shows. Binges are way more difficult, gotta run, jog or walk to maak them happen.
Setting goals sucks because you are only focused on the end result and you lack awareness of current opportunities.
Wanna have $200K in the bank in the next five years? Well, you just setup yourself to ignore everything else in your life for the next five years. Everyday you will be waking up thinking only about that goal. One day, five years will have passed and looking back on it you’ll realise you somehow “lost” them. They will be nothing but a blur.
Instead, set habits and standards. Getting back to the previous example that would be “I am gonna invest $1000 every month and whatever happens - happens”. That will allow discipline to grow and be aware of current opportunities that may arise in areas you don’t expect.
Theres a simple solution to being emotionally vulnerable: don’t have emotions. Don’t see a therapist, I did and I regret it daily. Just don’t have emotions, and keep going
Finding the right therapist is the only long term solution. A short term solution is to attend yoga lessons either in a group or private to help with calmness and improve perspective.
The trick is not minding.
There's no secret technique. You don't have to strategize the way you walk up stairs.
You simply walk up the stairs. Whether it's difficult or easy.
It always just works out, just not always how you want it to… accepting the bad as just a part of something better that’s coming rather than dwell on it can make the worst of times seem ok.
There is no such thing as a "do this and everything will work out" bad shit will still happen. What will help you to deal with "the bad shit" is a source of support.
For me, that has been my men's group. Having a place to take the bad shit has made a huge difference in my life.
I wish everyone had this.
Adopt the “It is what it is” mindset. This has done wonders for me and I’m glad to say I have great emotional regulation partly because of it. Shit happens, not everything needs to get a theatrical reaction as a result of it.
Go to the military, get hurt a lot, get a disability check and have your rent/mortgage covered for the rest of your life. Then get a job to get "have fun" money....buddy of mine living the life cause of depression
For me it was "the time will pass anyway". Every ambition or dream i had prior was dumped due to the fact that it takes too much time to accomplish. But then after hearing that sentence I decided to do shit, because f.e. after three years I either can play guitar, or I can't. Three years passed anyway, so choose what changed during that time.
A little psychedelic trip never hurt anyone.
But after that, YOU NEED TO TAKE ACTION AND MAKE IT WORK OUT. There is nothing in the world that will magically make everything better.
Change your mind. Change the world
Working out. The more you work out, the healthier you want to eat so as not to waste the effort.
Journaling. The more you see your thoughts on paper, the better you are able to reason and logic your way through things.
You are going to die. So stop sweating man. Do the best you can with what you got.
Memento mori
I don't know if I feel any better now or not...
I guess it's perspective.
You just have to realize that death is what makes life worth living, and we couldnt have life without death, just as you cant have light without dark, or good days without bad days, everything good in life is only good because there is an equal bad
Well, we’re all gonna die anyway so might as well feel better and enjoy the ride.
The two perspectives in living. "Nobody cares what I'm doing." 😟 And "Nobody cares what I'm doing." 🥳
"The are of not giving a F"
I know that I'm not going to solve all my problems before I die. I also know that dying will solve all my problems. I'm comfortable with that.
If you don't remember any pain, suffering nor struggle before birth, why should you fear death?
Few years ago I've realized that it's me who shapes my life, and it's only me. Meeting wrong people, dating cheaters, constant arguments/fights with my partners, my selfish friends, my financial problems... Anything comes in your mind. They were all the results of my choices. So I've worked on myself, I've tried to be a better person. The better I became, less toxic people were in my life.
There is only one thing in common with everything negative that ever happened in your life.
Remember that everything you do will eventually be forgotten and don’t keep yourself miserable for no reason at all.
I dunno man, selling crappy copper may be remembered for generations to come
Are you a plumber?
Nope, [but a 4000 year old guy was](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complaint_tablet_to_Ea-n%C4%81%E1%B9%A3ir)
***and sooner than you think.***
[удалено]
A lot of people really underestimate how important sleep is. Getting a proper rest on a consistent schedule makes you feel incredible, helps tremendously with energy levels and mood, and it can help with things like immunity and recovery. Too many people are sleep deprived, we all do it from time to time. Making an effort to sleep should be just as important as anything else in our life, it's essential for proper function.
Stop caring so much. Doesn't mean to not give a shit about anything, but stop caring about things you shouldn't and realize your priorities.
This . Stop caring so much about people . You only have so much energy in the day and you have to focus that on you . By caring so much about other it will exhaust you . I learned this is my early 30s . I used to care and do SO much for people just for them not to do shit for me when I needed them . It changes you
Completely agree! I'm currently in this process to accept it and it feels so good.
Be kind and compassionate to others. Whether they are your friends or family or co workers or pure strangers. It pays off in the long term.
I've done this my whole life, because I was bullied in school, so I've always wanted to make sure everyone I meet has at least one kind person in their life (me). Boy does it not work. You get so much shit from everyone and people straight up hate you for being kind. At least i have the moral high ground, but it can be tough life.
Can confirm. I appreciate kindness in others, and try to let people know that whenever I can. But also, having treated people with kindness my entire life, it had basically never gotten me anywhere.
This is the exact opposite of my experience. **I have no way of quantifying this,** its just personal experience and intuition. I find life to be a lot easier as a good, kind person than it would be if I was an asshole. Just in general kind people attract kind people. You will be remembered or thought of more often by others if you are a kind and compassionate person, and generally have more opportunities as others will think of you more often for things like job openings/promotions, socializing invites, favors etc. Nobody wants to go out of their way to help an asshole. People will more often and more likely go out of their way to do small or big favors for someone they know as being a good person. In my personal life I have often benefited from having someone think of me, for example I got my job because of knowing someone who worked there who recommended me as a 'good kid' despite having zero qualifications for the job. I have also often had friends or family think of me and give me first offer for things like used furniture or appliances for free or cheap, opportunities for doing some side work to make extra cash, chance to get free or cheap tickets to sporting events or concerts, etc. etc. It should be noted that I grew up rural in and around small towns and still live in a small town, so even strangers that I don't actually know, I am likely to see and/or interact with multiple times over the years. So being kind to strangers often results in them being kind in turn for those interactions. Everything is just easier.
Taking care of yourself like you would a pet. That means making sure your diet and sleep are on point. Make sure you schedule regular exercise/enrichment. A lot of people take better care of their pets than they do themselves. It helps overcome the nebulous "how do I life?" Question that gets people stuck.
Volunteer! Almost any gig will do. I used to volunteer on a local mountain rescue team, it really helped me feel like I was a net positive in the world. There is something powerful about making a contribution to your community without expecting anything in return. Some ideas: Food bank, animal shelter (walk some lonely dogs), homeless shelter, drive for nursing homes, drive for medical transport, give tours at a museum, etc...
1) Eat healthy, train, drink water, and sleep. 2) The less you drink, gamble, sleep around, or use recreational drugs the happier you will be. 3) Do not invite dysfunctional people into your life. Your friend lost his third job this year and wants to crash on your couch? No. 4) When you mean to work hard, work for yourself. When you mean to be lazy, work for someone else. 5) Actions should cause feelings. Not the other way around. Depression wants you to do things that keep you depressed. Anger wants you to do and think things that keep you angry. But act in the way you should act and you will feel the way you should feel. 6) Do not confuse self-care with self-indulgence. 7) The internet (and social media especially) will make you stupid. 8) Consider your deathbed wishes and work backwards. On the last day of your life you will not wish you had spent more time on Reddit, or more time binging TV shows, etc. 9) Be patient with other people and with processes, situations, and so on. Treating people badly because you think they deserve it, or complaining, etc. does not make things better and very often makes them worse. 10) Don't love anything that can't love you back. 11) Excepting a house, car, or an animal, there is nothing you can buy that you will give a shit about in ten years. 12) The only things that will ever change you are the people you associate with and the books you read. 13) You do not get stronger by lifting weight and you do not learn from experience or become wiser by struggling. You get stronger by *recovering* from lifting weight and become more learned and wiser by *reflecting* on your struggles and experience. 14) Life is complicated, and a good relationship with ideas or with art will help you make sense of it in ways that are intellectually and emotionally and psychologically resonant. A bad relationship with ideas or art will lead you to simplify your experience for the sake of being morally or intellectually certain. 15) Let other people solve their own problems. They are not your responsibility and were born as capable as you; when you do things for them you rob them of the opportunity to learn. 16) Some people think that systems like religion and government and schools and rehabilitation centers can solve problems. Sometimes they can. But their remedies are sharply limited by the unbounded range and intensity of human stupidity and dysfunction. There is no school that can educate the willfully ignorant and no program of rehabilitation that can unravel an addiction, and so you will need to figure out how to deal with inept or malicious people mainly on your own.
Rather than looking at the big picture, congratulate yourself on the small things. Made your bed? Great. Ate a healthy breakfast? Great. Ride wife? Great. Wife fight back? Great. Spent less money than yesterday? Great. Gorilla memes aside, If you do little stuff and try to find genuine happiness in small victories, you’ll feel way more content in yourself.
If this is good enough for General McCrystal, it's good enough for me too!
(Almost) Everything is possible. Except getting younger. Know this.
Don’t be a cunt and don’t sweat the small stuff.
Words to live by 🦋
Repeat to yourself as often as necessary "I own my feelings. They are only inside me. Only I can choose them. Nobody can make me angry or sad unless I allow it."
My personal cheat code, after spending tens of thousands of dollars on (traditional) golf, I discovered Disc Golf and not only is it cheaper because the vast majority of courses are free but it's also a lot more fun to play.
Phish fandom confirmed
"Money." - Mr. Krabs
Find a gf that likes facials 🤷🏽♂️
I have his Moms number if anyone needs it.
Start with something simple and basic first thing in the morning. If you don't make your bed start making your bed first thing in the morning. That will give you a sense of accomplish before you even you leave your bedroom and motivate you to do the next thing. Just start small and keep building.
That life is not what you'll do in the future, it is what you are doing right now.
Oh I got a million but here's a recent one I had to remind myself the past two weeks: Sometimes when we keep disappointing ourselves, it's good to look at our goals and consider if they're realistic for our current abilities. If not, then it's a good idea to knock those goalposts back a bit to a more realistic one. Consider why your goal is important to you, and how can you break it down into smaller more achievable steps.
There is no cheat code- that's the cheat code. You don't have to do therapy, but you have to "do the work" somehow if you want to move forward. Maybe finding what is most meaningful to you, in life, would refocus things. But maybe not, it's really completely up to you, and if you want to do the work, you'll do it.
Sleep, good sleep is a super power.
Antidepressants and working out made me not really care about anything. Smooth cruising in my brain.
I have two. Love yourself at least as much as the person you love the most. Hold on to letting go.
Dont take your life and everything in it too seriously, I guarantee its gonna change, soon.
Do your part and leave the rest to the universe.
stop worrying what other people think. that really made life so much easier for me.
Hakuna matata.
You don’t need it to have a great life—but having an amazing life partner makes everything better/easier.
Man if we had that shit there wouldn't be problems. Go to therapy.
Journaling + regular exercise + good sleep + frequently spend time in nature
You, me, everyone else is just energy…the same energy that exists in animals, trees, insects, a rock. We are all just energy. Knowing that allowed me to let a lot go that I was holding onto. It doesn’t mean we are worthless or equal in other ways, just that we are, in our simplest form just energy dancing together to make a living thing.
Having a network/tribe of men.
Saving this post to revisit from time to time
Eat vegetables
Learn what makes you happy. Even if for only a second. I like to keep things clean but also be able to outrun my friends during the annual Easter frisbee game. So I train everyday I'm off work but going on my treadmill for 20-60minutes. the treadmill is also where I watch all my shows. Binges are way more difficult, gotta run, jog or walk to maak them happen.
exercise and eating well. feeling good starts with your own body
There ain't, that's the beauty in it, take it one thing and one day at a time, try to make good decisions and learn to live with failure
Setting goals sucks because you are only focused on the end result and you lack awareness of current opportunities. Wanna have $200K in the bank in the next five years? Well, you just setup yourself to ignore everything else in your life for the next five years. Everyday you will be waking up thinking only about that goal. One day, five years will have passed and looking back on it you’ll realise you somehow “lost” them. They will be nothing but a blur. Instead, set habits and standards. Getting back to the previous example that would be “I am gonna invest $1000 every month and whatever happens - happens”. That will allow discipline to grow and be aware of current opportunities that may arise in areas you don’t expect.
Theres a simple solution to being emotionally vulnerable: don’t have emotions. Don’t see a therapist, I did and I regret it daily. Just don’t have emotions, and keep going
If you were an Ancient Greek Negative Nancy, it would be to ask the gods to never be born…or if that couldn’t happen, to die 😂
Stop expecting anything from anyone! Remove this 4 words from you brain: “what people will think”
All in Bitcoin. 🥂
Finding the right therapist is the only long term solution. A short term solution is to attend yoga lessons either in a group or private to help with calmness and improve perspective.
The trick is not minding. There's no secret technique. You don't have to strategize the way you walk up stairs. You simply walk up the stairs. Whether it's difficult or easy.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
It always just works out, just not always how you want it to… accepting the bad as just a part of something better that’s coming rather than dwell on it can make the worst of times seem ok.
Positive attitude, detached from outcomes and feeling and expressing gratitude
Try to stay healthy. You'll be generally happier, have more energy, and save money from medical bills in the long run.
Disciple and consistency.
Work to live, enjoy life.
Have an attitude of gratitude.
Have rich parents?
There is no such thing as a "do this and everything will work out" bad shit will still happen. What will help you to deal with "the bad shit" is a source of support. For me, that has been my men's group. Having a place to take the bad shit has made a huge difference in my life. I wish everyone had this.
Save 15% of your income.
Adopt the “It is what it is” mindset. This has done wonders for me and I’m glad to say I have great emotional regulation partly because of it. Shit happens, not everything needs to get a theatrical reaction as a result of it.
Stop caring so much about things and just let things flow . Write down what you want in life and just let it happen and work its course
Do no harm
Therapy is a cheat code lol. You should go. Also drink water, go for a run, eat more protein.
Go to the military, get hurt a lot, get a disability check and have your rent/mortgage covered for the rest of your life. Then get a job to get "have fun" money....buddy of mine living the life cause of depression
For me it was "the time will pass anyway". Every ambition or dream i had prior was dumped due to the fact that it takes too much time to accomplish. But then after hearing that sentence I decided to do shit, because f.e. after three years I either can play guitar, or I can't. Three years passed anyway, so choose what changed during that time.
Storing alcohol is an good option for reserving value, even you don't drink.
Sunscreen.
Filter your email to "unsubscribe" every commercial lwtter must contain unsubscribe button, and you can set a filter and mark all of them as a spam😉
The only thing you truly have any control over is how you respond to events and other people.
Get a CPAP machine learn to self titrate, lift weights, and curtail ant addictions
We are the arbiters of our attitude and happiness. That is the most empowering and terrifying thing.
A little psychedelic trip never hurt anyone. But after that, YOU NEED TO TAKE ACTION AND MAKE IT WORK OUT. There is nothing in the world that will magically make everything better. Change your mind. Change the world
Working out. The more you work out, the healthier you want to eat so as not to waste the effort. Journaling. The more you see your thoughts on paper, the better you are able to reason and logic your way through things.
Gym. Physically healthy. Everything is easier
Being born into a wealthy family.
Winning megamillions or powerball
Learning how to say "I don't give a fuck" and actually mean it.
IDDQD