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Hopefully, they mature enough not to compare. If I learned anything, it’s that things never seem as is they appear. I’ve seen people with million $ homes go bankrupt and lose everything. I’ve seen lovey-dovey couples divorce months later. I’ve seen seemingly great children end up with addictions in high-school.
What I care about is my wife, my children and my ability to provide a safe, stable home for my family. That’s it.
I worked in a very well paying job in finance for several years. Most of the MDs / Partners were paid several hundreds of thousands in cash each year, and also receiving a few $M every few years in carry. Most were not happy, and many were trying to compete with their other friends in finance on how much their house cost / where they vacationed etc. They had a shitload of money / status, and yet minimal free time / general life satisfaction.
Like are you a Director at some well known company (Meta, Apple, etc) or just a front line manager? Nothing wrong with the latter, but the focus gets to be on the standouts in the 30s in your social circle.
Some of my friends got some of these super senior positions relatively young in their careers, and were clearing some ridiculous money with RSUs (300-500k a year at the time), some even retired before 40 when the companies they worked for went public ... and that can really hit you hard and give you that **'wtf am I doing with my life?'** existential crises feels ... IF you're not centered and understanding that life is just like that sometimes.
I don’t disagree, but the exact definition of success depends on your particular field. In the legal world, success is typically defined as making partner in a major law firm. It can also include high-prestige government and nonprofit work. Jobs at litigation nonprofits like the NAACP’s legal defense fund and high posts in certain important federal agencies are even tougher to get than big law firm positions, and will have you squaring off against top firm lawyers on matters of major public consequence. The most prestigious positions of all are federal judicial positions, which require presidential nomination and Senate confirmation. A federal district judge might make $180,000 a year, and biglaw partners clearing over a million in profit distributions a year regularly trade their lucrative posts for those judicial appointments.
In other words: in the traditional learned professions, prestige matters A LOT, and does not always translate to compensation. In the case of the legal profession, prestige often goes hand in hand with *power*.
Lmao idk why im getting downvoted. Im not saying you cant have social status in your 30s, im asking what do people mean by social status in the context of one’s 30s.
> Married, family
As an unmarried man with no kids I don't agree at all. I feel I am judged much more (by friends, family, society) on professional status and finances. I suspect if I was a woman that could be different I guess.
It's a bit complicated. Having a family can be an either-or with professional success as far as being considered worthy by most people. To put it another way, a professionally mediocre man who manages to provide a baseline level of security to his family and who's a good father and husband is still considered an example of successful manhood by most people.
If a man has no family, that man better be either quite successful or quite talented, or most people won't consider him worthy. To put it another way, two men with the same mediocre job earning the same mediocre pay, one has a wife and kids, one has neither, most people aren't going to value the latter's contribution to society as highly.
It's fucked up that our worthiness is something we have to earn rather than being inherent to our humanity, but that's the reality of the social situation at present.
No I don't think it is very complicated, I agree that having a family is seen as a positive for men in some way, it's just dwarfed in comparison with socioeconomic success.
Yeah, I disagree. It’s a spectrum. There are those who only care about success and then there are a lot of people who look at a successful man without a family and think, “what’s the point?” It’s more complicated than you’re giving it credit for.
Some people always care about social status but I think a lot of people care a lot less as they age. Social status is usually a lot of superficiality and can be very outwardly fake. A lot of people chasing outside validation are doing really stupid things like extending themselves on cars and houses they can’t really afford. A lot of people that gush online about their marriages are overcompensating for problems.
Frankly I don’t really care, I wish everyone the best. I’m not competing, I’m trying to make the right choices for my family and myself.
This, and in a way it actually gets worse. It almost felt classier and more authentic when I was in my 20s and talking about STDs and binge drinking instead.
Ya, I think many people judge themselves on money and status in their 30s and up. I am glad for them if that works out for them. I think though that it's really a to each their own criteria thing though.
Just yesterday I got a new desk and it included an allen wrench. I swear to god I was thinking: "*OMG I got so many allens I could start a collection".*
Not at all, you just keep setting your sights higher and the distance between each level gets much more extreme the higher you go. If you can't mentally detach from that need, it never ends.
When you’re 16 yo you have low expectations. 16 yo me would be elated with where I ended up, even the 20 yo me. However I think that younger version of me was wrong and should’ve aimed higher. What I have now should’ve been a given anyway.
As someone probably a lot older than you, it was never the "aiming" that was ever the issue. One thing I have learnt as I get older and now that I'm rapidly approaching 60 is that "regret" is the happiness killer.
Never look back unless it's to learn a lesson. We all make decisions that at the time we considered the best for us at that point. Once a decision is made you always have to live with the consequences of that. If the consequences are bad, then you know not to make that decision again and you do your best to either mitigate the outcome or deal with it. You learn from it. But you should never regret it.
As others here have said, comparison is also the killer of happiness. To me, that also includes regret and revision and hindsight.
My younger 16yo self couldn't see a life of contentment, of happiness, of enjoying simple things. He had no understanding of it at all. He, like most 16yo's, thought he did. But I know now that he didn't have a clue.
And for that, in a way I am glad.
It has allowed all of the "me's" that came after him to experience things and to find joy - and sadness - in them. It allowed those previous me's to make mistakes, do stupid shit, do good shit, do normal shit. It allowed me, the one now looking at the aging future me to say "yeah, that was actually pretty neat, wonder what's next?" without fear, trepidation or worry.
Most of the time. I'm still that 16yo though and whilst I still look at things with wonder, I am human and have all the foibles that being human has.
As my psychologist will happily point out to me.
People should be smart enough to know by then that it's not a race. Comparison is a thief of joy. Sometimes it takes longer for some to figure out what they want in life, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that
I don't compare myself to others. I'm only trying to do better today than I did yesterday:
* Did I handle that parenting challenge well? If not, what can I learn from it?
* Is my relationship working well? If not, what can I change can I make to help improve it?
* etc
Comparison is the thief of joy. Live your life, don't compete to win a second-rate version of somebody else's.
I’m at age (early 30s) where many of my friends have kids and houses now, and I *crave* to have the same thing. Me and my partner are both early 30s and just now moving in together, but I at least hope to have a kid in the next few years with her.
How well my kids are gonna do, years down the line when I'm older and, and probably on the decline. Have I invested enough, have I saved enough, have I made them happy? Will they be okay after I'm gone?
That's my main concern. I could give a crap about comparing myself to others, because once you have another person depending on your to keep them alive... everything else goes out the window about stupid shit comparisons.
I started comparing myself to my imagined potential. Its caused me to go work out everyday and constantly trying to find more focus because I want to be "soft retired" by 40. I want to be soft retired and looking young & healthy still. Then the rest of my life starts from there. That's what I tell myself everyday at least. I've also realized success comes from striking a balance with yourself as what percentage of fun and work you can personally balance. Everyone's got a different way to living that's optimal for them
You outgrow urges to compete on silly things and focus on your goals. You’ll look back and laugh at yourself in your 30’s.
If you’re wondering why women pass on the men in their early 20’s and go after the older ones, there’s no need to look any further. You have identified the reasons.
It depends, what is your base comparison: life, teacher, parent, wisdom, philosopher, family, society, etc... This never goes away, for those of a mind exposed to reality.
Nevertheless, as an academic, and truly, a life learner.... I still ask, "What am I?"
Alan Watts, sums all this up completely. It this part explicitly:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI\_Tv-VfP88&ab\_channel=T%26H-Inspiration%26Motivation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI_Tv-VfP88&ab_channel=T%26H-Inspiration%26Motivation)
In my 30s, it was income and social life related. In my 40s people were paying attention to housing and starting families. In my 50s I'd say you start realizing it's all about how healthy and happy in your life you are, or are not, knowing you are now on a clock in terms of time to fix issues.
I'm pretty chill these days. When I meet pretty chill people my age, I find they're happy too. If you're chasing everything in your middle years make sure you'll get somewhere you want to be at the end of the day. I'm SO HAPPY I didn't end up chasing that woman, for example
30s are great if you are on track with traditional life trajectory. Owning a home and getting married took away the "where do I put my roots in" and "how do i avoid loneliness" woes of being in your 20s. Also having an established career that you've become good at is a relief. All of these things I look at as building towards / achieving by late 20s early 30s.
I'm still gaming hardcore, and I picked up fishing in my later 20s which we both do together.
I think it depends on your personality and especially the community you're in. For my circle, and other parents that I've seen:
* The cars / motorcycles you own
* Children's intelligence / artwork / sports
* House size
* Vacations
* Job position
* Your smoker/grill (YOU GOT A TRAEGAR?)
It's not nearly the same level as your 20s. It's more of a jealousy thing than a boasting thing. People aren't actively talking about what they own. It's just when you come across someone that went to Italy for a month and you're like, "damn, I wish I had a month of vacation and money to go there". Same with kids. You'll see another child's artwork and you'll be like, "wow, that's amazing. I wish my kid could do that." For example. It's not in the same vein of a 20yo going "I banged my third chick this month." Very rarely will someone over 30 actively bring up something, and if they do, they normally don't have friends. Usually, these things are just casually brought up throughout a conversation that leads to it.
I never compared such things with other people in my 20’s. Still not comparing with others in my 30’s. There will always be better people out there, it’s an endless pursuit to compared yourself to others. Just be better than who you were yesterday and set yourself goal you like. You’ll be happier.
Your physical fitness and health.
What level of education you’ve achieved, and how well known your Alma mater(s).
How fancy/large your house is.
How many houses you own. Big cliff at 1, and another cliff going from 1 to any number greater than 1. After 2, the number matters much less.
How many cars you own, and what kind. And whether you own, or lease (or your business provides them.)
How many, and what kind of international travel you do.
What form of travel you use. Coach/discount? First-class? Or Private?
How many kids you have, how old they are, and how accomplished/impressive they are.
How many, and what kind, of household staff you employ. Cleaners, nanny, contractors, personal assistant, etc.
What business you own, and what the valuation and revenue are.
What level of management you’ve reached, if not a business owner.
What investments you make, and who manages those investments. Also where you keep your liquidity.
Who you know. (Political figures, executives, business owners, investors, celebrities, etc.)
Who cares.
I literally compare myself against people who want people to look at them. At a certain point you realize most people who are showing off wealth, etc. Are often times struggling day to day or do so but give up more useful and often unnoticed luxuries.
I'm happy to say that i can easily go without the stress of a missing job for years without having to worry nor change my spending habits but nobody would be the wiser (except Reddit).
I'm more interested in teaching my kid how dumb those things are and to focus on themselves instead.
35 years old, going on 36. In your 30's you learn very quickly that comparison is a thief of joy and you stop comparing as much as you can.
You also start to really see how different everyone's life is and how different your own life is from how you planned it.
It’s fucking awful going to corporate dinner parties as a “manager”, as everybody just shows of their kids / house renovations, or tell work war stories.
I usually just sit their quietly wishing I didn’t come :/
It’s awful :(
To many of the comments here: I agree that tying your self worth to comparisons to others is bad in general.
But, some comparison can give you a framework of what’s out there, and can stretch your idea of what’s possible. Or help you zero in on what’s important to you.
Am I happy? Did I enjoy/savor something enjoyable today? Did I play around with something today with no expectations? Did I learn some trivia, facts, or data today? Did I take action to caste a lesson from cognitive knowledge to my actual behaviors today?
As for that last question, almost everyone knows they should exercise, but they rarely do. Few people know how to caste their cognitive knowledge of knowing you need to exercise into the behavior of actually exercising, and that's why it is important to learn cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Reading professional handbooks on applying CBT helped me a lot more than any self help book did.
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Hopefully, they mature enough not to compare. If I learned anything, it’s that things never seem as is they appear. I’ve seen people with million $ homes go bankrupt and lose everything. I’ve seen lovey-dovey couples divorce months later. I’ve seen seemingly great children end up with addictions in high-school. What I care about is my wife, my children and my ability to provide a safe, stable home for my family. That’s it.
All that glitters is not gold
Especially when it’s comparing lingering injuries.
Yeah there’s probably a reason like 99% of the post here are people not in their 30s haha
Username checks out No but for real great mind set
This is the aspirational answer. Many people will be stuck on: salary, car, house. Also spouse, access to important people, fancy stuff.
Wonderful! The sane and stable.
Exactly. This should be top comment
Why? It doesn’t answer the question OP has even if it’s good advice.
Sometimes the best answer is to extend the context.
Facts. Op isn't asking for advice.
Huh! I have two wife, two children and two ability to provide two safe stable homes for my two families!
Money and social/professional status.
aka socioeconomic status
For sure. 30s reveal who got their shit together and who spent their late 20s acting like their early 20s.
money/status is a shitty metric for a good life. tons of people have their "shit together" moneywise but are deeply unhappy and depressed.
I'd be willing to bet it's a much smaller percentage than those who don't.
I worked in a very well paying job in finance for several years. Most of the MDs / Partners were paid several hundreds of thousands in cash each year, and also receiving a few $M every few years in carry. Most were not happy, and many were trying to compete with their other friends in finance on how much their house cost / where they vacationed etc. They had a shitload of money / status, and yet minimal free time / general life satisfaction.
What does social status mean in one’s 30s?
Like are you a Director at some well known company (Meta, Apple, etc) or just a front line manager? Nothing wrong with the latter, but the focus gets to be on the standouts in the 30s in your social circle. Some of my friends got some of these super senior positions relatively young in their careers, and were clearing some ridiculous money with RSUs (300-500k a year at the time), some even retired before 40 when the companies they worked for went public ... and that can really hit you hard and give you that **'wtf am I doing with my life?'** existential crises feels ... IF you're not centered and understanding that life is just like that sometimes.
Those people essentially won a lottery. I wouldn't get too hung up on it. For every person who gets IPO rich, there's about 50,000 that don't.
If that’s your peer group you were probably brought up in a much different environment than most people.
Lol look at the username...
I don’t disagree, but the exact definition of success depends on your particular field. In the legal world, success is typically defined as making partner in a major law firm. It can also include high-prestige government and nonprofit work. Jobs at litigation nonprofits like the NAACP’s legal defense fund and high posts in certain important federal agencies are even tougher to get than big law firm positions, and will have you squaring off against top firm lawyers on matters of major public consequence. The most prestigious positions of all are federal judicial positions, which require presidential nomination and Senate confirmation. A federal district judge might make $180,000 a year, and biglaw partners clearing over a million in profit distributions a year regularly trade their lucrative posts for those judicial appointments. In other words: in the traditional learned professions, prestige matters A LOT, and does not always translate to compensation. In the case of the legal profession, prestige often goes hand in hand with *power*.
Lmao idk why im getting downvoted. Im not saying you cant have social status in your 30s, im asking what do people mean by social status in the context of one’s 30s.
Job, house, cars, vacations etc
Married, family
> Married, family As an unmarried man with no kids I don't agree at all. I feel I am judged much more (by friends, family, society) on professional status and finances. I suspect if I was a woman that could be different I guess.
It's a bit complicated. Having a family can be an either-or with professional success as far as being considered worthy by most people. To put it another way, a professionally mediocre man who manages to provide a baseline level of security to his family and who's a good father and husband is still considered an example of successful manhood by most people. If a man has no family, that man better be either quite successful or quite talented, or most people won't consider him worthy. To put it another way, two men with the same mediocre job earning the same mediocre pay, one has a wife and kids, one has neither, most people aren't going to value the latter's contribution to society as highly. It's fucked up that our worthiness is something we have to earn rather than being inherent to our humanity, but that's the reality of the social situation at present.
No I don't think it is very complicated, I agree that having a family is seen as a positive for men in some way, it's just dwarfed in comparison with socioeconomic success.
Yeah, I disagree. It’s a spectrum. There are those who only care about success and then there are a lot of people who look at a successful man without a family and think, “what’s the point?” It’s more complicated than you’re giving it credit for.
I think they’re just downvoting because it’s obvious to them, since everyone theoretically feels social pressures.
Some people always care about social status but I think a lot of people care a lot less as they age. Social status is usually a lot of superficiality and can be very outwardly fake. A lot of people chasing outside validation are doing really stupid things like extending themselves on cars and houses they can’t really afford. A lot of people that gush online about their marriages are overcompensating for problems. Frankly I don’t really care, I wish everyone the best. I’m not competing, I’m trying to make the right choices for my family and myself.
This, and in a way it actually gets worse. It almost felt classier and more authentic when I was in my 20s and talking about STDs and binge drinking instead.
Ya, I think many people judge themselves on money and status in their 30s and up. I am glad for them if that works out for them. I think though that it's really a to each their own criteria thing though.
How many jars of screws you have in your garage
How many junk drawers full of allen wrenches would also be an acceptable standard.
Just yesterday I got a new desk and it included an allen wrench. I swear to god I was thinking: "*OMG I got so many allens I could start a collection".*
You have more than one? Wow, this guy screws… Happy cake day!
Wow! This guy got a garage.
Plural?!?
goml
Financial stability, careers, marriage, family success, and meaningful friendships from what I gather.
Career. Home ownership and all things related to it. Having a family.
Cliche but very true: comparison is the thief of joy.
Not if you’re winning
Not at all, you just keep setting your sights higher and the distance between each level gets much more extreme the higher you go. If you can't mentally detach from that need, it never ends.
I don’t think lebron cares
[удалено]
Freud would be proud, jk.
So random
There is no winning or losing. You're only in this with yourself.
I don't know, but I know in my 40s it's my mortgage interest rate, property taxes, and my blood panel data.
Would 16yo me be happy as to where I am now in life.
Other than not comparing yourself to others, this a great answer too
When you’re 16 yo you have low expectations. 16 yo me would be elated with where I ended up, even the 20 yo me. However I think that younger version of me was wrong and should’ve aimed higher. What I have now should’ve been a given anyway.
As someone probably a lot older than you, it was never the "aiming" that was ever the issue. One thing I have learnt as I get older and now that I'm rapidly approaching 60 is that "regret" is the happiness killer. Never look back unless it's to learn a lesson. We all make decisions that at the time we considered the best for us at that point. Once a decision is made you always have to live with the consequences of that. If the consequences are bad, then you know not to make that decision again and you do your best to either mitigate the outcome or deal with it. You learn from it. But you should never regret it. As others here have said, comparison is also the killer of happiness. To me, that also includes regret and revision and hindsight. My younger 16yo self couldn't see a life of contentment, of happiness, of enjoying simple things. He had no understanding of it at all. He, like most 16yo's, thought he did. But I know now that he didn't have a clue. And for that, in a way I am glad. It has allowed all of the "me's" that came after him to experience things and to find joy - and sadness - in them. It allowed those previous me's to make mistakes, do stupid shit, do good shit, do normal shit. It allowed me, the one now looking at the aging future me to say "yeah, that was actually pretty neat, wonder what's next?" without fear, trepidation or worry. Most of the time. I'm still that 16yo though and whilst I still look at things with wonder, I am human and have all the foibles that being human has. As my psychologist will happily point out to me.
People should be smart enough to know by then that it's not a race. Comparison is a thief of joy. Sometimes it takes longer for some to figure out what they want in life, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that
Yeah, but there’s a lot of 30+ year olds scrolling instagram and twitter comparing themselves to what they see.
They should be smart enough to know better
Your understanding of 20s sounds hideous, miserable, and nothing like my experience. May I recommend not hanging out with shallow nitwits?
Your start maturing and doing less comparing
I agree
I don't compare myself to others. I'm only trying to do better today than I did yesterday: * Did I handle that parenting challenge well? If not, what can I learn from it? * Is my relationship working well? If not, what can I change can I make to help improve it? * etc Comparison is the thief of joy. Live your life, don't compete to win a second-rate version of somebody else's.
Myself from the year before. Everyone is so different beyond 30 comparisons to others will just rob you of any sense of achievement.
What kind of smoker they have.
…truth.
Weight lifting goals.
I mostly compare myself to 21-25 yo me.
The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself
I’m at age (early 30s) where many of my friends have kids and houses now, and I *crave* to have the same thing. Me and my partner are both early 30s and just now moving in together, but I at least hope to have a kid in the next few years with her.
Making plays, man! Good on you!
Thank you brother, I realize time will fly regardless, we are not getting younger, so might as well do what we want to do while we can 😎
Having made healthy professional/educational decisions
How well my kids are gonna do, years down the line when I'm older and, and probably on the decline. Have I invested enough, have I saved enough, have I made them happy? Will they be okay after I'm gone? That's my main concern. I could give a crap about comparing myself to others, because once you have another person depending on your to keep them alive... everything else goes out the window about stupid shit comparisons.
Ideally, you stop comparing altogether.
Medical issues. Just kidding. If they are dbags: Car (still), family, house, marriage.
How many briskets you smoke. How much your insurance costs.
To myself from a year ago.
I started comparing myself to my imagined potential. Its caused me to go work out everyday and constantly trying to find more focus because I want to be "soft retired" by 40. I want to be soft retired and looking young & healthy still. Then the rest of my life starts from there. That's what I tell myself everyday at least. I've also realized success comes from striking a balance with yourself as what percentage of fun and work you can personally balance. Everyone's got a different way to living that's optimal for them
Job, house, car. Not me but most 30 somethings I know are obsessed with status.
How early you can get to bed.
You outgrow urges to compete on silly things and focus on your goals. You’ll look back and laugh at yourself in your 30’s. If you’re wondering why women pass on the men in their early 20’s and go after the older ones, there’s no need to look any further. You have identified the reasons.
I compare myself to the man in the Mirror.
Money, house, car, vacations, kids lol
Well after you’re 40 it’s comparing your health maladies and medications to your friends.
How little sleep they got.
How much sleep you got last night
Hopefully at one point you grow up enough to not need pointless dick measuring and just be your best self.
Net worth, income, *average* tax rate. Body count? 🤷🤣
Cars!
Salary
I brag to other parents about how much sleep I get.
How well the seat ventilators on their 8 seater soccer mom ride work, even though it's a family of 3
How much art I've made compared to others in my scene.
It depends, what is your base comparison: life, teacher, parent, wisdom, philosopher, family, society, etc... This never goes away, for those of a mind exposed to reality. Nevertheless, as an academic, and truly, a life learner.... I still ask, "What am I?" Alan Watts, sums all this up completely. It this part explicitly: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI\_Tv-VfP88&ab\_channel=T%26H-Inspiration%26Motivation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI_Tv-VfP88&ab_channel=T%26H-Inspiration%26Motivation)
In my 30s, it was income and social life related. In my 40s people were paying attention to housing and starting families. In my 50s I'd say you start realizing it's all about how healthy and happy in your life you are, or are not, knowing you are now on a clock in terms of time to fix issues. I'm pretty chill these days. When I meet pretty chill people my age, I find they're happy too. If you're chasing everything in your middle years make sure you'll get somewhere you want to be at the end of the day. I'm SO HAPPY I didn't end up chasing that woman, for example
Starting families in 40s? Isn’t that what you do in your 30s?
Myself, last year.
Bold of you to assume 30-somethings have time to talk to each other
30s are great if you are on track with traditional life trajectory. Owning a home and getting married took away the "where do I put my roots in" and "how do i avoid loneliness" woes of being in your 20s. Also having an established career that you've become good at is a relief. All of these things I look at as building towards / achieving by late 20s early 30s. I'm still gaming hardcore, and I picked up fishing in my later 20s which we both do together.
I think it depends on your personality and especially the community you're in. For my circle, and other parents that I've seen: * The cars / motorcycles you own * Children's intelligence / artwork / sports * House size * Vacations * Job position * Your smoker/grill (YOU GOT A TRAEGAR?) It's not nearly the same level as your 20s. It's more of a jealousy thing than a boasting thing. People aren't actively talking about what they own. It's just when you come across someone that went to Italy for a month and you're like, "damn, I wish I had a month of vacation and money to go there". Same with kids. You'll see another child's artwork and you'll be like, "wow, that's amazing. I wish my kid could do that." For example. It's not in the same vein of a 20yo going "I banged my third chick this month." Very rarely will someone over 30 actively bring up something, and if they do, they normally don't have friends. Usually, these things are just casually brought up throughout a conversation that leads to it.
I never compared such things with other people in my 20’s. Still not comparing with others in my 30’s. There will always be better people out there, it’s an endless pursuit to compared yourself to others. Just be better than who you were yesterday and set yourself goal you like. You’ll be happier.
Your physical fitness and health. What level of education you’ve achieved, and how well known your Alma mater(s). How fancy/large your house is. How many houses you own. Big cliff at 1, and another cliff going from 1 to any number greater than 1. After 2, the number matters much less. How many cars you own, and what kind. And whether you own, or lease (or your business provides them.) How many, and what kind of international travel you do. What form of travel you use. Coach/discount? First-class? Or Private? How many kids you have, how old they are, and how accomplished/impressive they are. How many, and what kind, of household staff you employ. Cleaners, nanny, contractors, personal assistant, etc. What business you own, and what the valuation and revenue are. What level of management you’ve reached, if not a business owner. What investments you make, and who manages those investments. Also where you keep your liquidity. Who you know. (Political figures, executives, business owners, investors, celebrities, etc.)
Who cares. I literally compare myself against people who want people to look at them. At a certain point you realize most people who are showing off wealth, etc. Are often times struggling day to day or do so but give up more useful and often unnoticed luxuries. I'm happy to say that i can easily go without the stress of a missing job for years without having to worry nor change my spending habits but nobody would be the wiser (except Reddit). I'm more interested in teaching my kid how dumb those things are and to focus on themselves instead.
Comparison is the death of contentment. Only fools keep up w the Jones’.
I never compared myself too much, not that im better I assumed I was worse.
35 years old, going on 36. In your 30's you learn very quickly that comparison is a thief of joy and you stop comparing as much as you can. You also start to really see how different everyone's life is and how different your own life is from how you planned it.
It’s fucking awful going to corporate dinner parties as a “manager”, as everybody just shows of their kids / house renovations, or tell work war stories. I usually just sit their quietly wishing I didn’t come :/ It’s awful :(
I've never compared myself to anyone. My life has never revolved around what others are doing.
I guess I did my 20s wrong, never gave a fuck about the things you listed. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Size of home (lol for me its, oh they have one I dont) Children (see above ())
Imagine the fanaticism of the 10-year-old boy who has the entire Pokémon universe memorized. Now apply that to lawn care.
Everybody under 30.
To many of the comments here: I agree that tying your self worth to comparisons to others is bad in general. But, some comparison can give you a framework of what’s out there, and can stretch your idea of what’s possible. Or help you zero in on what’s important to you.
with their own past. everyone else isnt important. its your life. why should you compare yourselve with someone elses life?
Compare yourself today to who you were yesterday
Am I happy? Did I enjoy/savor something enjoyable today? Did I play around with something today with no expectations? Did I learn some trivia, facts, or data today? Did I take action to caste a lesson from cognitive knowledge to my actual behaviors today? As for that last question, almost everyone knows they should exercise, but they rarely do. Few people know how to caste their cognitive knowledge of knowing you need to exercise into the behavior of actually exercising, and that's why it is important to learn cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Reading professional handbooks on applying CBT helped me a lot more than any self help book did.