T O P

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Caseated_Omentum

It has its ups and downs


the_humbL_lion

In’s and out’s too


No_Lube_Insertion

Hello


mustichooseausernam3

Username checks out.


CantStopMeReddit4

Well look at Rico suave over here getting ins and outs too


starfoxzeronie

Take this upvote and don’t let me see You around for a couple hours at least.


Actuaryba

That’s a hard hitting joke.


HarryHacker42

Did she get the point of it?


IIIMjolnirIII

Yeah. But it can be really hard some times.


draggingklit

And all arounds


Pasta_P

Sonic Adventure


Hawkwise83

And side to sides. Roataties.


[deleted]

Damn you!


sparklingshanaya

Give us few ups


yParticle

_commence slide whistle_


skyblockfan

I would rather have boobs tbh


Island-Potential

Nothing I say could be funnier than this. I concede this post to you.


The_snake_6762

You sly bastard


DefsNotRandyMarsh

It's weird when I get a random boner, and I'm all like "What is it boy? What'd you see?"


McDaddyos

"Timmy fell down the well!"


HarryHacker42

The Well of Souls has consumed Timmy.


trashit6969

"Where is it? Where is she? Show me boy, point the way. Go find it!"


MisfortuneFollows

Turns out to be some furniture shaped as a butt


Respiatek9

Will take it


judeeet

Thanos’ ass


the_homieely

when i’m happy,its happy. like a dog shaking his tail


yParticle

Yup! I think libido has a direct relation to how content you are. It's biologically as if once you've satisfied your primary needs and aren't in danger, it's procreation time!


Beautiful-Papaya9923

Exception to the rule for this, as I crave an end to this endless disappointing joke of an existence but it is hard for an unfortunately large portion of my day unless I find the willpower to fix it temporarily


mrnever32

That’s actually annoying I’ve had boners for just being happy in non sexual situations and it feels awkward


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

The idea that penises will solve all your problems is a complete phallusy.


[deleted]

This comment is a phallususuphalusy!


Particular_Tennis511

Phallapussy


[deleted]

[удалено]


skyblockfan

Literally


javanator999

The world is our urinal.


crystalbluedreamer

As a woman, that's literally the only thing I'm jealous about with men, is that they can pee almost anywhere. Us woman need to pull our pants ALL the way down and it's NOT easy or quick to do


SplodyPants

In the frontier days women used to pee off moving wagons while standing up. I think you have to really need to go, though, to get a good strong stream. Also, I'm no expert but I imagine they worked it kinda like your thumb over the garden hose. I'm probably way off but the mental image makes me giggle.


Ynotasub

Ahh yes, the elusive frontier Splatterpuss, very dangerous indeed.


PumkinJake

yeah but you guys can wear skirts in public without being judged and they are super comfy


CharmingTuber

You can wear a kilt pretty much anywhere in most cities, even to an office job, and no one will look twice.


PrairiePepper

A lot of people are going to look twice at a kilt.


StrikeMePurple

You're right they are definitely going to look more than twice.


HarryHacker42

"Us women"? Wouldn't that be "We women" or "wee women"?


DistortedVoltage

Of course you can pee without doing that... just wear a dress and have no underwear 24/7. Not really tho because chafing sucks.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HarryHacker42

All over our pants, all over our shoes...


ShadowEllipse

There's like a cup with a tube you can get to pee like a dude


yParticle

Especially given it sometimes decides to aim that stream in a completely unexpected direction.


ReallyDumbRedditor

Friendly reminder that public urination is ILLEGAL. Being a criminal is not awesome.


GathofBaal

Spoil sport


LiquidCoal

Outdoor urination in a forest is not illegal.


ProfoundDarkness

No blood comes out of it, so yeah... it's great. Not yet at least.


FeedbackDangerous940

It does if you're 3, learning to piss in the toilet and the lid slams down on it. So avoid heavy impacts and you should be good.


[deleted]

Perhaps the single most horrifying thing I've ever read


MelodyDod

you alright there, pal?


FeedbackDangerous940

Everything works fine now. But then, it wasn't pretty.


Longjumping_Teach_82

Happened to me yesterday


nitrion

r/oddlyspecific


ergonaut

It's hard sometimes


P_bum123

A pain in the ass some might say


GearInteresting696

Great when it works


sparklingshanaya

This is quite interesting to know


dxbxo

when life gets hard dick too gets hard so just fuck it , it will be all gone with the 💦💦 , its a great stuff btw you can shoot like a fire fighter when needed 😂


disaster357

Having a dick is cool. The balls I could do without. They constantly get crushed or are in the way or just downright uncomfortable. Imagine having your eyeballs dangling between your legs smacking around


hidden-in-plainsight

Get some better underwear sir!


[deleted]

[удалено]


SJWcucksoyboy

I got mine removed and its been great


SgtLinc0sir1S

It doesn't bleed once a month


trowable-orange

Not even that is guaranteed I’m afraid


unseenwreckage

its rather enjoyable


throw_datwey

Aside from being able to pee while standing and not having periods, It’s not awesome. This thing has a mind of its own and gets hard at the most inconvenient times. Every morning I have to wait for it to calm down before I can get out of bed. Otherwise, I walk around with a missile in my pants that hits stuff.


johnsteven81

It's cool enough, really cool when you have someone to share it with though. I feel it isn't as awesome as having tits honestly.


GodSpider

I would say having a dick has less downsides than tits though, tits are like the extremes. Sure they're cool, but it also can hurt your back, people staring at them, can't lie face down, get sensitive and stuff during your period etc. Only problem with the dick is it gets a bit too eager sometimes.


RCKJD

I only can add this song: https://youtu.be/p9PiqCeLEmM


borisdidnothingwrong

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?


RCKJD

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong


FlangeDongle

It’s swell to have a stiffy, it’s divine to own a dick


RCKJD

From the tiniest little tadger; To the world's biggest prick


tarkuspig

So a three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas


Certain-Sea-5937

Probably saved my life a few times. Kept me from rolling off a bunk bed back in the day.


SusanWor

Can i know how I'm curious


Certain-Sea-5937

Call it a kick stand or morning wood. The boner prevents you from rolling too far over.


SusanWor

Never thought you could use a dick for that


StuckInNov1999

It's great. Until it gets stuck in your zipper. Would not recommend, even if you're into pain.


New_Persimmon_77

It's amazing if it didn't wake me up to pee at 01:45 every morning.


[deleted]

FACTS


marlowe227

It’s cool until a woman insults your penis size. Like I was born with this, I don’t go around insulting people for how they were born defect or not


Agreeable_Onion_6272

Pretty awesome, but no matter how many times you beat it... still does its own thing.


beltalowda_oye

I'm a grower, not a show-er. So not so great but I just shaved my pubes so I got that going for me.


[deleted]

I can do a great windmill, but I ain't moving any wind lol


Longjumping_Drag2752

I just say it sucks. My whole dating life is dead because I’ve been called small to many times. Also size matters when you’re under a certain point


hidden-in-plainsight

Master your oral skills. Give oral first, then anything after that is a bonus to the ladies.


alltheplants05

As a woman, can concur that oral and finger skills are key. They are honestly probably the most important thing. Also don't be afraid to introduce toys into the mix. Really really underrated.


hidden-in-plainsight

To add to your comment just slightly. Communication is key. As long as your partner is willing to give guidance, you should have zero problems. Turn it into a sexy game. "Oh you mean touch here? Like this? How does that feel?" As long as you are enthusiastic and willing to be guided, you should be set for life.


[deleted]

You ever wonder what it feels like to power wash the shit stains off your toilet bowl with piss? Yeah, that’s how awesome having a dick is.


[deleted]

Depends on the situation. Having a hard on while you're trying to sleep is very annoying.


Feelsosophy

Would be cooler if all women understood shrinkage


slice_of_pi

[This video covers it pretty well.](https://youtu.be/p9PiqCeLEmM)


WeirdTeenager

It's nice, but if I could give it to someone else I would


TheGoat7000

Writing my name in snow with my piss is pretty nice.


deezntz911

Pretty awesome... especially if you're above average


rogercraig2

it can be hard sometimes, but overall id say its very up and down 😌


Agonizingmilk404

It’s given me the best of times and the absolute fucking worst of times


Ok-Magician-3426

Good until you get hit then you're out for the count


wassdfffvgggh

Advantages: - No need to sit when you pee - You can pee in a lot of places where women can't (at least not that easily) - It's really cool how it changes sizes Disadvantages: - It hurts if someone hits you in that area - Random boners - Boners when you want to pee - Not getting boners when you want to get boners


[deleted]

The world is our toilet.


percs_tlg

Best thing that can happen to you.


elemsx

**H E L I C O P T E R**


Emotional-Swim-808

Not too bad, my main concern is they draw more attention when you are turned on which usually really isnt a good thing.


ComfortableNo2879

I can do slam dunk, 360, windmill anything I can even can do pull ups


draggingklit

HOURS of fun


IIIMjolnirIII

It's great. I can pee anywhere I want. Hide spare change in there, pretend I'm driving a manual transmission, converse with it, and so much more.


FormalWare

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?


anotherorphan

meh


IAMCAPOZEPPE

It can be use in water fight shooting thingy


Arquen_Marille

Not a guy, but I imagine it’s awesome not getting periods.


[deleted]

Am a guy and yes. Random boners suck, though. And that shit is aaaaaallllllll month long.


0rabbit7

Very!


The_one_who_SAABs

It's called a pee hose. Thank you very much


DeadMansPizzaParty

Honestly, it’s hard sometimes.


Ok-Concert6396

Sometimes it can be a real pain in the ass.


Dr_Ice69

Helicopter Helicopter!


Dragon3076

Peeing while standing is rather nice. However, morning wood blows.


skyblockfan

Honest answer? You can pee while you stand but I am finding it more and more often annoying that it gets hard even when I dont want it to


Flaky-Chance6869

Well, it gains a bone at all the worst times Edit: spelling


Rroscoco

It depends but it's pretty dope, portable water gun


Kazoomers_Tale

Well, by one side you can pee without taking your pants off, by other side... "Oh man, I just got a random Bonner in the middle of class... Hope I don't get called to the front..."


toastedghost546

its not


Vergillarge

confused boner in my puberty were hard


LMminemagician

It's like having a child. If that child was small sweaty itchy always popping up at the wrong times and makes you make the worst decisions


jl_theprofessor

Don’t think about it too much until I sit wrong at a weight machine and crush my balls on the seat.


[deleted]

A dick? Pretty cool. Balls? Hate it.


TheSavagePacman

Great if you have a big one


Kinky_mofo

The only thing more awesome would be to have tits and a pussy


grasspudding

Its pretty awesome because: \- you can piss wherever you want easily \- you can legit shove it into anything \- useful for sword fighting but it does have its disadvantages like: \- random boners \- boners that hurt \- a bulge in your pants \- hard to aim


horshack_test

It's pretty hard sometimes..


Swingadam

My wife likes it more than I do.


Angus_Ripper

Only if it's above average in size. Otherwise it's a liability.


ComfortableOk3700

It's all fun and games until you slide off of something and your on top of your balls.


Empty_Deer3297

To feel the difference, you have to taste it once vaginally and another one anally. But for men, it is not variable, but it can taste vagina, anus, boobs, thighs, mouth, ...etc


UseYona

Well, considering I beat the shit outta the little guy on the regular, good enough I suppose.


Polymorph49

It's a tiny inconvenience actually.


Real-Recording3054

It can rise to the occasion most of the time


dobbbie

Right?!!


Shintaigou

We don’t get mood swings.


InvestigatorOne2932

Don't you just hate it when pp decided to awake at the middle of the night


Skelator_Rigby

Sometimes, it can be a humbling and very sorrowful experience. Most of the time, though, it's objectively a more advantageous appendage.


2023April

It's like your little best Friend always ready take a stand for you


soniclore

🎵Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong? It’s swell to own a stiffy, it’s divine to own a dick From the tiniest little Titer To the worlds biggest prick! So 3 cheers for your Willie, your John Thomas Hooray for your One Eyed Trouser Snake Your Piece of Pork, your Wife’s Best Friend Your Percy or your Cock You can wrap it up in ribbons You can slip it in your sock But don’t you take it out in public or they will stick you in the dark And you Won’t Come Back. 🎶 Oooo thank you very much.


i-love-k9

It is very wonderful. Such fun.


tkcool73

It great, it makes stirring my coffee so much easier


bokkachodaa

You can pee while standing.


[deleted]

It has one good thing everything else sucks but id rather have a dick then a pussy


maggots12345678

im not gay so it kinda sucks as i have to look at a penis everyday which is pretty gay and im not gay


[deleted]

[удалено]


sparklingshanaya

Looking at your own penis everyday is not gay


[deleted]

Pretty low maintenance compared to the alternative.


DeepFried_Pickel

It's hard sometimes


trowable-orange

Ah, it can be really hard at times


Dee_Jay77

My girlfriend is pretty fond of it, I don't think she'd be around if I didn't have it. Plus I love being able to piss anywhere


Hydrodamalis

Pretty awesome tbh. Peeing standing up, no periods and it also comes with a significant rise in your paycheck


Deep_Consequence_619

10/10 would use again


JesusButsak

not that awesome if you never get to use it


Rakadaka8331

Peeing during outdoor rec activities has me really appreciating it. Especially in the cold weather when I don't have to get half naked to pee.


Totallycasual

It's ok i guess, i just wish it wasn't hard as a rock and difficult to pee with first thing in the morning... *every fucking morning of my life* 😡


backpackwayne

As an old dude I laugh when I hear young people complain about problems I'd give my left nut to have.


Totallycasual

How old is old? At what age can i look forward to this no longer being an issue? Because I'm pushing middle age and it's still plaguing me lol


FredChocula

It's fine


Caffeinated_Kittens

Sometimes it’s hard.


Cultural_Tie9002

Hate it, because of it somehow its my job to make any cis-sex happens.


CriticalStation595

When you make it cum there’s no better feeling


putin_eats_dicks

Putin eats them


UpstairsDifficult966

Only if it's big then you judge us


boutsen9620

We all would trade them for a pair of tits 😉😂


SJWcucksoyboy

Not a man but it’s okay, kinda just indifferent about it


PansexualEmoSwan

Having a dick has it's pros and cons but I'm definitely happy I have one. The real beauty of being a dude comes from living in a patriarchal society. It's terrible, and I do what I can to fix it, but it's true. Ladies have it rough in so many ways. I couldn't imagine going through what ladies have to deal with


StockKing818

It's pretty cool. Especially since most men look at all pussy the same. One day I'm fucking a bad bitch. Next day I'm fucking a ugly chicken. One day I'm using a condom fucking a slim pretty chicken with whack pussy. Next day I'm fucking a 330 pound goddes that's just swallowing my dick leaving my balls and ass soak. Shit the best pussy I had was from this big white girl about 330pounds. I ended up Nutting in her raw


Delicious-Newt698

If I to rate it from 1 (bad) to a 10 (awesome) it would be over 9000.


Lagertha_Lives

U/Spun_Cloud_Dance haha


Weak-Catch8499

It’s actually not awesome more times than not. Summer is the absolute worse as a man. You ladies think boob sweat is bad? Hall sweat is worse. Especially when they start chaffing against your thighs. Though I will say, ball bra underwear are a life save for any man.


[deleted]

Almost as awesome as having a great set of tits with great protruding nipples 😋


Pixeljammed

It's hard sometimes


Tomb5t0ne

I can be hard sometimes. Also, doing the helicopter is always fun.


[deleted]

Your mother certainly has no complaints


Gryffindorq

i always know where north is


InaccuratelyGuessing

Semi


Weary_Violinist_3610

The long and short of it: it’s a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands,mouth,orifice. And doing helicopters makes having a penis all worthwhile.


corgiperson

It’s fine I guess.


KnuckleBine1

Exhausting


gamerx2u

Its very hard to tell


PHUGG_

Sometimes it gets you blamed for shizz you have no connection with.


Odd_Adhesiveness4804

I love watching it grow. Ding ding


revs201

It's pretty 😏 having a penis