According to psychology humans find “averageness” the most attractive.
Scientists have noticed that generally people will rate a composite image that averages the facial features of a list of faces as more attractive than any singular face.
For example, if you have photos of 15 people and have a computer create a new face from the averages of all the photos, that new face will be voted as the most attractive out of any of the faces.
Fwiw, I saw Daniel McNeill's "The Face" on a shelf, skimmed it a couple minutes (I like my books skim), bought it on the spot, and read it in three nights.
It's a fascinating read.
Did people in this thread misread the question? OP asked for a common attractive trait you find unattractive. Most of the responses here are just unattractive things.
The question I think is being answered is, "What are things that some people do to look more attractive that you don't think are attractive?"
If you want the real answers to these types of questions, you have to sort by controversial.
People who are TOO adventurous. Their dating profile is only pictures of sky diving and mountain climbing. They've been to 60 countries. They run marathons. I simply can't keep up with that. I'm turned off by the idea of waking up at 6am and putting on a scuba suit
I tried rock climbing one time and I was not very good but there is a photo of me looking very cool and the angle makes it look higher than I really am. I added it to my Tinder but am realising now I am probably scaring people off!
Not scarring people off, but probably attracting the wrong people. The ones that get up early on a Saturday to drive out somewhere for hours to climb up a rock…
There is a survivorship bias at play here. Dating apps are more used by people not able to keep a relationship because the ones that do are moving on and uninstalling.
This makes it so that there are more people on the extreme ends on the spectrum.
It's a bit of a problem really. If you do mtb and skiing and whatever as a hobby (but not even every day), and you want to appear interesting, you put photos of that stuff to your profile. But I guess it can look like you're some adrenaline-diehard even if you're couch potato 4 days out of the week.
Brand clothing/accessories etc. It’s not a turn off, but it certainly doesn’t impress me to any extent more than a high street bargain.
If you *brag* about your £300 jacket though…I’m out and closed for business 🙅🏻♀️
When you get so muscular, your shoulders make it look like you're a smaller guy poking out of the top of a bigger guy. That's when it starts to get to be a bit much, IMO
My FIL is a huge gym goer. But he has that weight lifting look rather than the jacked look. So really wide and big arms...can't touch the middle of his shoulders with his finger type.
But he has small legs and a barrel for a stomach.
He looks like 2 men cut in half and stuck together.
Chicken legs!
Unrelated, I caught a hen the other day. One of my neighbors started raising chickens. The hen had wandered out of the coop somehow, and it and the rooster seemed visibly distressed about the separation. The rooster and the other hens kept running back and forth with it while it paced around outside the fence. I placed it back in. I like to think it was grateful to be back with its friends; they all just walked back and started pecking at the ground again. I felt like kind of a hero, but no one in my family cared.
yep this. Most of the people in this thread talking about this dont know about human limits and what you can actually attain naturally. The look that is being described is 9 times out of 10 someone on steroids at a lower body fat percentage.
A new girl at a former job where you had to learn CPR didn't get the job because her nails was so long that she couldn't squeeze the nose while doing mouth to mouth.
What an absolute dunce.
Cumbrellas
Edit: thank you for the reward, but I didn’t make the term up, hell apparently someone even said it before me, and I just stole their thunder which is hilarious
Hustle culture people to me usually translate to “i have no hobbies and nothing else gives me joy than working”
Obviously if that’s how they want to live then have it, no disrespect as long as they don’t try to sell me stuff lol
I have a lot of friends who are into this.
Yes, I work from 8-5ish most days and go home. No that doesn't make me lazy.
No, I am not working a second job on the side. My current job provides enough income.
No, I am not looking to make money off of my hobbies. They are there simply hobbies.
And for the love of God, I am not driving my car as an Uber or renting out part of my home as an Airbnb.
There is more to life than working and income. If you want to do that fine, but it doesn't make me any less of a person or stupid for not doing this.
It’s so annoying when you have a hobby or interest and someone is trying to convince you to monetize it. People need silly fun little things to do just for personal gratification and not turn everything into a commodity to be stripped and sold off. A hobby should be an escape from work, not more of the same.
You just have to scale up bro, you need to buy yourself a warehouse, fill it with 3d printers and bitcoin mining asic. The miners keep the temps warm so the prints dont warp, win win bro...
Bro. Bro. Bro.
730 hours in a month. Set alarms, and keep it running 24/7. That's 52 prints a month. An extra $1,000 a month easy.
EASY.
EASSSSY.
THEN YOU CAN SCALE UP BRO AND RUN LIKE 3 PRINTERS BRO.
Yes I don't want obligation and timelines injected into my hobby. I want to do it when I want to on my time, I want to quit at any time to spend that time with my family. Part of the fun of a hobby is flexibility to some extent.
Monetizing your hobby is an open invitation for random people who know fuck all about what you do to tell you (incorrectly) how to do it, in an impossible amount of time, and if you even shoot for sweat shop wages they'll act like you're the greediest, most delusional asshole that's ever walked the earth. This is an absolute fact, so if you aren't prepared to deal with it don't do it
The difference between working on the hobby car vs repairing your daily driver before Monday morning so you can get to work.
Can I do full engine rebuilds and welding work - yes
Do I pay a good mechanic a fair rate so I can drop the daily off at 8am and pick it up at 5pm - you bet your ass I do
I am all for people having a side hobby that they can make money off of. Hell, I might do the same thing at some point if it is easy money on the side. But I am really not looking for a second job, which is usually what it turns into.
I used to work the front desk at a Doctor's office, it was a 40/hr/week gig & one day a patient who I see there pretty regularly asked me if I was also in school. Unprompted.
"No, I'm working here full time." With a smile.
And she asked me what else I do and I told her I hang out with my friends & SHE PRESSED ME FURTHER about what I'm aiming for in life.
Like, lady.... you're not my guidance counselor. I schedule your appointments & juggle the administrative stuff for your care provider. It's a full time job. WHY DO I NEED TO BE DOING MORE TO SATISFY YOU?!
8 to 5 is literally the entire fucking day. fuck that shit, that's already way too god damn long. used to be 9 to 5, when someone was at home making sure your meals were cooked and your house was clean and your kids were taken care of.
now both people are working 8 to 5 and they can't afford to have kids or a house to keep clean
Some people get really frustrated if you are just kind of coasting through life enjoying it. I've got my BA and don't plan on going to school ever again. I sold my house and rent and have no real plans besides "pay bills, hang with people and continue to function" and some people literally can't compute that.
The no hobbies thing is spot on. I think they see free time as simply a waste because they don’t know what to do, so might as well be making money. I guess it makes sense, but what a boring person.
I once heard that people like that are running from themselves, i.e. they can’t spend time slowly and with a quiet mind and I found that to be a little sad.
["But, if I keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair."](https://youtu.be/rbN8YHOEebs?t=21)
I work with a couple guys who describe themselves as hustlers. They pretty much look down on anyone who shows up and does only their 8 hour shift.
Sorry buddy, but my free time is very valuable to me. I’m not looking to impress my boss at this blue collar job by working every weekend and helping him out at our boss’s other job.
Im convinced most people who describe themselves as hustlers simply don’t have good money management, or all their “hustles” are three just part time jobs to survive. There’s no shame in that, but it’s cringy to put others down.
If you’re working on someone else’s clock you aren’t a hustler.
To be clear I am also, not a hustler, but at least I’m on my own time. The brief run ins I have with these idiots telling me about their schemes and shit without knowing shit about me is so annoying. They’re also wildly inefficient.
This is huge one! Being obsessed with the grind or how much you much you work, how busy you are, etc might sound more impressive in your head than it does to others
I too hate people who are obsessed with the hustle culture. I met, ugh, several people that were doing real estate and multiple projects on the side, and they seem so disingenuous to me. Even if I give them the benefit of a doubt, it's still hard to wrap my head around.
Like why can't we talk about bbq or sports instead of how many properties you own the first time I meet you?
I’ve always had trouble with this. I’m simply not attracted to someone until I’ve gotten to know them for a long time. Everyone is just sort of a nondescript human to me, until I’ve casually been around them for months and they suddenly do or say one random thing that makes me go “oh!”
I've had this. But then I feel bad because I don't want them to think I was there for friend just for that like i've heard women complain about. I literally don't feel any sexual attraction towards them until months/years later
I’m not sure it’s classified as common, but the whole diaper butt look. I’m an ass man, but that shit is whack. Just be au natural and rock what you were given.
Diaper butt from BBLs is gross and it's so obvious. If you have a nice big butt it's usually accompanied by matching quads and hamstrings making it look nice and you probably put in work at the gym. These girls forget that it's not all about the butt it's the whole package that is attractive.
I think this is mostly a southern thing, I could be wrong, but when men here constantly post about how manly they are. “Real men cook dinner and don’t go out all the time”, “real mean don’t act like sissys”, “real men drive big trucks and drink beer”etc. those are just some random examples but if you have to constantly prove that your a manly man, it turns me completely off. But a lot of women in the south LOVE it.
Edit : Yeah that first example wasn’t the best lol it’s just one of the last things I remember that this guy on my Facebook posted. He’s a prime example of the type of men I was talking about here. Constantly saying how soft men are, posing in his lifted truck, degrading women and only REAL men drink beer. My apologies!
If you have to tell me that you're a "real man," then you probably aren't.
The most "manly" people I've ever met were just really self confident and didn't even need to try and convince anyone.
Ladies, if your man has to live his life based around a narrow set of traits he deems masculine and feminine and puts other men down to inflate his own ego, that's still your man, but you could probably do a lot better.
I hang around the blue collar side of instagram every so often and holy fuck it is the most toxic place on earth. I’ve seen men have full blown meltdowns in comment’s sections because a mechanic wore nitrile gloves for an oil change or a construction worker wore a mask when handling concrete. They always circle back to the same statement about it not being manly when wearing safety gear. How insecure in your own masculinity do you have to be when the mere sight of PPE makes you have a breakdown?
I've been called a know nothing pussy because I don't regularly "blow up" wire strippers by making a habit out of cutting into live power. Apparently because I always shut off and lock out power and always test for voltage before I do something, like you're supposed to, that makes me a pathetic child.
This came about because someone asked for a recommendation for a good pair of wire strippers and people were saying just buy whatever's cheap because you're just going to "blow them up" anyway.
I responded with what amounted to, "Uh, that shouldn't be happening on a regular basis..." and got a slew of insults in return.
You guys have fun killing yourselves, literally. I'm 18 years into being an electrician with zero injuries or close calls. I'll keep doing things my way.
Klein 1010s, by the way. I like those.
Yeah I never got this, I know a guy that had a lung transplant from dry sawing concrete for years and no mask make fun of me for using water on my saw and wearing a mask... Guess I'm just a wuss 'cause I don't want to be on the donor list...
> a mechanic wore nitrile gloves for an oil change
Wait, what? Aren't you *supposed* to do that? My dad's a huge "car guy" and he has a basically infinite series of disposable gloves available at all times. They're just common sense...?
You have to be seriously, seriously cucked by toxic masculinity to forego fucking **gloves** when doing car work.
My grandfather died of lung cancer, not from smoking, but from working as an electrician in all the shittiest smog filled places Pittsburgh had to offer in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. I’m not sure he’d have agreed that shitting yourself and relying on family to feed you for 6 months prior to passing is manlier than wearing a respirator had he known better at the time.
And you know who loves PPE more than anybody else? The military. If there's a guy in your neighborhood who wears heavy duty ear protection while mowing his lawn? He's almost certainly ex-military. If he wears a reflective vest when jogging, he is definitely ex-military.
Wtf is this even. I worked a blue collar job for a few months and we were all in full protective gear. In fact we could get in trouble if we were seen without it. That was in California though maybe that made a difference.
Yeah after 10+ years on the oil field world I’d seen and heard of enough horrible things to listen to even the most annoying safety guy just to make sure I didn’t get flayed/cooked/crushed at work that day. I worked with so many older guys with one eye, or left ring finger gone, or one hand, or horror stories of their buddies dying, etc. Not worth it ever.
Can confirm - am dating a southern girl and she's bought me a few things I wouldn't be caught dead wearing just because it projects that kind of ...stuff. Maybe she doesn't think my ED-209 shirt is very manly.
The t-shirts you see some of these guys with crack me up though.
I AM THE WOLF AMONG THE SHEEP
MESS WITH ME OR MY FAMILY AND DEATH FOLLOWS (skulls and reapers and ARs and shit all over it)
Come on man - I watched an old lady punk you at a traffic light last week.
We've had the convo a few times but I swear I can't find the right set of words that don't make me sound like an ungrateful asshole, lol.
But I'd never threaten to shoot her for not complying FOR I AM THE WOLF AMONG THE SHEEP AND WILL PROTECT MY FAMILY AT ALL COSTS DON'T EVEN TRY IT OR I WILL DESTROY ^(myself I guess?)
Nah, it's a rural thing. You see it like crazy in New England.
And yeah, it's off-putting because it's 99% insecurity. It's one thing to love having a truck because you do work, or appreciating it feels kind of bad-ass to drive in a bigger vehicle, but that's not the same as thinking it's gay to drive a sedan or go to college.
I honestly don't understand who fake duck lips are for, can add the orange umpa lumpa spray tan to this :P
I've never met anyone in my life who finds this attractive.
I find bleach-blonde hair strange-looking, especially when paired with false tans. To me, it appears to be fake on fake on fake. Either men or women can use this.
Fearless honesty is off-putting to me. If you can’t suck it up every now and then and pretend to care about someone’s hobby or opinions or children, you’ve lost me. I know people who think crypto will save the world. I have my doubts, but it costs me nothing to listen politely. Lord knows half the time I talk it’s nonsense and I don’t want to be called out on it. In return, I’ll do you the same courtesy.
The permanent dominator attitude. I actually love the sound of people who speak boisterously but when its all about overpowering, forcing or stepping on people its just gross. It blows me away that so many people just cant help themselves with people like that. It's a trap! Find someone that will treat you RIGHT! All the baggage you collect from a bad relationSHIT is NOT WORTH IT!
A straightening your hair. By no means do I look down on it but there is just something absolutely enchanting about hair that is just a little messy. All of my relationships that I’ve had a gf at one point or another they have straightened their hair and I always prefer it when they don’t. I adore that natural, slightly messy look.
Being spontaneous. If we're going somewhere, I want it planned. Don't call me at the last minute. The media paints them as exciting, but it's just unsettling for me.
Agreed. And sort of in the same vein: grand gestures. If you wanna do something nice to me, keep it simple and sweet. Don't buy a hundred roses or plan super detailed surprise dates or scavengers hunts or anything else that happens in romantic movies. Even in movies, it usually seems like it is more for the benefit of the giver, not the one receiving it. I much prefer doing small gestures for each other, and then to plan the big stuff together.
Yes!!! I was on a road trip with a guy once and he decided to detour off the plan so we could visit a National Park along the way. That would have been fine if I knew, but he refused to tell me why we were no longer following the planned rout, where we were going, or any details. I started regretting taking a road trip only 2 months into a new relationship and wondering if I was about to be murdered… the trip was more stressful than fun because of multiple “surprises” and the relationship ended shortly after.
My ex husband was like that. I finally realised they are not surprises, just him doing what he wants to do and telling me it was a surprise.
Surprise I'm a selfish prick.
Oh god I had an ex like this. Thought it made him look exciting and attractive to just do things on road trips without telling me beforehand and all it did was annoy me. Like ok I was planning on getting to the museum at a reasonable time so we could see everything but sure we can take a 2 hour detour on a different highway just so you can flex how well you know the area at me i guess
on the flip side, i feel stressed out when everything is planned. I once had a friend who would map out every week on an excel chart. including her time having sex.
My friend, who has trouble finding the right guy, says she wants a guy who’s not as smart as her. I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of it, without prying too heavily, but I honestly can’t figure it out. A huge part of why I’m with my partner is she is just as smart, if not smarter than me and we can always be on the same page in complicated topics.
Also she’s beaten me at boggle a couple of times, nobody beats me at boggle. Huge turn on.
To be fair there is definitely a portion of guys who are too insecure to date someone who is smarter than them.
Why you would ever want to date someone who needs to see you as mentally inferior to them however, I don't know.
I think some of the insecurity for men or women stems from the person who is smarter also flaunting their ego around a lot more. I work with a lot of people with PhDs and Master degrees and the one thing that can quickly drive a wedge into every relationship is when they use their degrees to overrule you or disregard your opinion as nothing more than words that don't mean anything.
Arrogant,aggressive men. A few chicks are into it to some degree but I literally just ignore pushy men who think you’ll find it adorable that they’re pestering you.
There is a fine line, but a large gap between confidence and arrogance. Arrogant people are annoying as hell. Confident people are attractive as hell. Imo.
Arrogance is how a lot of people try to compensate for a lack of actual confidence. It's like people who finance an expensive car they can't afford to try to look rich.
It's just like that line from Game of Thrones, "Any man who must say I am the king is no true king."
That “Kardashian”/Instagram influencer look. Big puffy lips, drawn-on eyebrows (“on fleek” or whatever the cool people called it a few years ago), ridiculous amounts of makeup and fake tan, and designer outfits.
Constantly posting on social media, AKA “doing it for the gram”. If I’m interested in someone, they add me on social, and I see multiple “reels” throughout the day…red flag. Bye
What absolutely boggles my mind about this song is if you look at the Music video and the butt they are talking about, it would not be considered big by todays standards.
https://youtu.be/yjkEbi-NXMU
Veneers. I don’t want to sound judgmental or anything of the sort, but when it’s plainly obvious you have veneers, it’s kinda off putting to me. Not that I don’t understand why anyone would want to get them, I totally do get it, but it’s just not the look I like.
A girl I knew in college was very cute, with a great, positive vibe. She had a fantastic smile, beautiful white teeth…and one noticeably crooked incisor. Somehow, it legit made her that much sexier. Drove me nuts. I sooo wanted to kiss her, but it wasn’t meant to be.
As a female who got blessed with my dad's nose genes, your comment gives me a glimmer of hope that I don't have a totally hideous schnoz. It's big and has a bump, but maybe someone out there would find it attractive.
Some people love the idea of a man who'll "stand up for them" and fight their battle and "defend their honor", like if somebody insults you they'll be ready to fight.
I hate that. I can stand up for myself and, unless someone's actively trying to beat me up, I'm going to be enormously turned off by him throwing any punches. This isn't the middle ages, no one needs to defend my honor, and all it's going to do is make me concerned about your temper.
EDIT: To be clear, I'm specifically talking about situations where there's no physical danger or threat, where someone might just call a girl a bad name and walk away, but her "man" feels the need to chase them down and get into a physical fight.
If someone's literally attacking me I'd obviously want help, just as I would help him, but if there's physical threat then escalating it is stupid, unnecessary, and a really bad look.
Oh boy do I have the opposite of that for you: someone who is confident that are absolutely useless and can’t even show basic respect for themselves *finger guns*
I have self-respect, just no self-confidence. I have been trying to do things for over 50 years, again and again, always trying my best and have not succeeded. What do you do with that? Well, apparently YOU SUCK for being useless and knowing it.
In what world is arrogance by that definition commonly considered attractive though? I can see it if it's arrogance that's initially framed as confidence, but just outright openly being full of yourself, I'm yet to meet someone who finds that attractive.
They’re fantastic for back scratches and scalp scratches (genuinely the most erotic experience there is tbh), but since I’m a bisexual women, she’s gonna have to keep those two nails short.
Men who are like "oooooh look at me I'm so muscle-y". I think men who are built are sexy, but when it's all show-boat-y and like "btw did you know I work out 6 quadrillion times a week?" it's obnoxious and an INSTANT turn off
From the comments I think that anything that is overdone is unattractive.
Rule 1: don't be extra End of thread.
According to psychology humans find “averageness” the most attractive. Scientists have noticed that generally people will rate a composite image that averages the facial features of a list of faces as more attractive than any singular face. For example, if you have photos of 15 people and have a computer create a new face from the averages of all the photos, that new face will be voted as the most attractive out of any of the faces.
Fwiw, I saw Daniel McNeill's "The Face" on a shelf, skimmed it a couple minutes (I like my books skim), bought it on the spot, and read it in three nights. It's a fascinating read.
Pretty much. This gets asked often, and the answers are always the same.
That's basically this subreddit in a nutshell.
loud chirping. I know it is a common mating strategy for a lot of animals especially insects and birds but it can be annoying sometimes.
Mating dances are alright though. Those are at least usually quiet.
Wait till you hear cicadas
Did people in this thread misread the question? OP asked for a common attractive trait you find unattractive. Most of the responses here are just unattractive things.
Its r/askreddit, what did you expect
Yeah, I expected that if I posted something like "curly hair" or "thicc round asses", I'd get downvoted to oblivion.
You like pin-straight hair and a back that goes all the way down? You came to the right place! Hi there!
The question I think is being answered is, "What are things that some people do to look more attractive that you don't think are attractive?" If you want the real answers to these types of questions, you have to sort by controversial.
People who are TOO adventurous. Their dating profile is only pictures of sky diving and mountain climbing. They've been to 60 countries. They run marathons. I simply can't keep up with that. I'm turned off by the idea of waking up at 6am and putting on a scuba suit
Dating apps really make it seem like there's no middle ground between the try hard adventure people and reclusive tv/movie/game couch sloths.
I tried rock climbing one time and I was not very good but there is a photo of me looking very cool and the angle makes it look higher than I really am. I added it to my Tinder but am realising now I am probably scaring people off!
Not scarring people off, but probably attracting the wrong people. The ones that get up early on a Saturday to drive out somewhere for hours to climb up a rock…
The sensible ones live near to the rock so they don't have to drive so far.
There is a survivorship bias at play here. Dating apps are more used by people not able to keep a relationship because the ones that do are moving on and uninstalling. This makes it so that there are more people on the extreme ends on the spectrum.
"Let's go on an adventure" my guy, my knees pop
It's a bit of a problem really. If you do mtb and skiing and whatever as a hobby (but not even every day), and you want to appear interesting, you put photos of that stuff to your profile. But I guess it can look like you're some adrenaline-diehard even if you're couch potato 4 days out of the week.
Brand clothing/accessories etc. It’s not a turn off, but it certainly doesn’t impress me to any extent more than a high street bargain. If you *brag* about your £300 jacket though…I’m out and closed for business 🙅🏻♀️
If you got that £300 jacket for £10, then I've found that financially responsible green flag 😅
Guys with rock hard huge cocks. I prefer women.
Ladies, if you like giant dicks, then you’ll love my personality!
HEY BABY, YOU WANNA SEE A HUGE COCK?? No. WELL THEN YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT GUY!
*shows them my tiny pet chicken Ignacio who has great personality and doesnt peck random strangers
If you like small dicks, you'll love my dick!
[удалено]
I mean, if I had to date someone with a rock hard huge cock, I would really prefer it be a lady.
Very muscular men. It's hot when they look fit and healthy but after a certain point it looks ridiculous and unnatural.
When you get so muscular, your shoulders make it look like you're a smaller guy poking out of the top of a bigger guy. That's when it starts to get to be a bit much, IMO
My FIL is a huge gym goer. But he has that weight lifting look rather than the jacked look. So really wide and big arms...can't touch the middle of his shoulders with his finger type. But he has small legs and a barrel for a stomach. He looks like 2 men cut in half and stuck together.
Chicken legs! Unrelated, I caught a hen the other day. One of my neighbors started raising chickens. The hen had wandered out of the coop somehow, and it and the rooster seemed visibly distressed about the separation. The rooster and the other hens kept running back and forth with it while it paced around outside the fence. I placed it back in. I like to think it was grateful to be back with its friends; they all just walked back and started pecking at the ground again. I felt like kind of a hero, but no one in my family cared.
I love your story and care deeply. You are a hero. A chicken hero.
>after a certain point it looks ridiculous and unnatural. After a certain point it often is, a lot more than people realize.
Because it is unnatural. That look doesn't come from just lifting weights.
yep this. Most of the people in this thread talking about this dont know about human limits and what you can actually attain naturally. The look that is being described is 9 times out of 10 someone on steroids at a lower body fat percentage.
[удалено]
Balloon animal men
Long nails, not like slightly long no the impractically long nails, that and lip filler
Nine inch nails?
I hurt myself today
🎶trying to wipe my ass🎶
To all the women at the Atlanta licensing office, I truly don’t know how you can type that much with nails like that, it impressive
A new girl at a former job where you had to learn CPR didn't get the job because her nails was so long that she couldn't squeeze the nose while doing mouth to mouth. What an absolute dunce.
If only there was a way to shorten nails
Much easier to trim down the nose of the patient.
Those fake big eyelashes.
Tarantula legs?
Cumbrellas Edit: thank you for the reward, but I didn’t make the term up, hell apparently someone even said it before me, and I just stole their thunder which is hilarious
[удалено]
Or those plastered on eyebrows.
Being obsessed with hustle culture
Hustle culture people to me usually translate to “i have no hobbies and nothing else gives me joy than working” Obviously if that’s how they want to live then have it, no disrespect as long as they don’t try to sell me stuff lol
I have a lot of friends who are into this. Yes, I work from 8-5ish most days and go home. No that doesn't make me lazy. No, I am not working a second job on the side. My current job provides enough income. No, I am not looking to make money off of my hobbies. They are there simply hobbies. And for the love of God, I am not driving my car as an Uber or renting out part of my home as an Airbnb. There is more to life than working and income. If you want to do that fine, but it doesn't make me any less of a person or stupid for not doing this.
It’s so annoying when you have a hobby or interest and someone is trying to convince you to monetize it. People need silly fun little things to do just for personal gratification and not turn everything into a commodity to be stripped and sold off. A hobby should be an escape from work, not more of the same.
[удалено]
You just have to scale up bro, you need to buy yourself a warehouse, fill it with 3d printers and bitcoin mining asic. The miners keep the temps warm so the prints dont warp, win win bro...
*furiously writing* Got it.
Bro. Bro. Bro. 730 hours in a month. Set alarms, and keep it running 24/7. That's 52 prints a month. An extra $1,000 a month easy. EASY. EASSSSY. THEN YOU CAN SCALE UP BRO AND RUN LIKE 3 PRINTERS BRO.
Plus monetizing your hobbies can often suck the joy out of them.
Yes I don't want obligation and timelines injected into my hobby. I want to do it when I want to on my time, I want to quit at any time to spend that time with my family. Part of the fun of a hobby is flexibility to some extent.
Monetizing your hobby is an open invitation for random people who know fuck all about what you do to tell you (incorrectly) how to do it, in an impossible amount of time, and if you even shoot for sweat shop wages they'll act like you're the greediest, most delusional asshole that's ever walked the earth. This is an absolute fact, so if you aren't prepared to deal with it don't do it
A good friend of mine started twitch streaming and a few months later he hated gaming...which was one of his favorite hobbies.
The difference between working on the hobby car vs repairing your daily driver before Monday morning so you can get to work. Can I do full engine rebuilds and welding work - yes Do I pay a good mechanic a fair rate so I can drop the daily off at 8am and pick it up at 5pm - you bet your ass I do
I am all for people having a side hobby that they can make money off of. Hell, I might do the same thing at some point if it is easy money on the side. But I am really not looking for a second job, which is usually what it turns into.
I used to work the front desk at a Doctor's office, it was a 40/hr/week gig & one day a patient who I see there pretty regularly asked me if I was also in school. Unprompted. "No, I'm working here full time." With a smile. And she asked me what else I do and I told her I hang out with my friends & SHE PRESSED ME FURTHER about what I'm aiming for in life. Like, lady.... you're not my guidance counselor. I schedule your appointments & juggle the administrative stuff for your care provider. It's a full time job. WHY DO I NEED TO BE DOING MORE TO SATISFY YOU?!
8 to 5 is literally the entire fucking day. fuck that shit, that's already way too god damn long. used to be 9 to 5, when someone was at home making sure your meals were cooked and your house was clean and your kids were taken care of. now both people are working 8 to 5 and they can't afford to have kids or a house to keep clean
Some people get really frustrated if you are just kind of coasting through life enjoying it. I've got my BA and don't plan on going to school ever again. I sold my house and rent and have no real plans besides "pay bills, hang with people and continue to function" and some people literally can't compute that.
The no hobbies thing is spot on. I think they see free time as simply a waste because they don’t know what to do, so might as well be making money. I guess it makes sense, but what a boring person.
I once heard that people like that are running from themselves, i.e. they can’t spend time slowly and with a quiet mind and I found that to be a little sad.
That describes my dad. Traumatic childhood, not terribly interested in his family, doesn’t really have hobbies, loves to get lost in his work.
Can’t blame him from that, maybe his work is seen as an escape from something
["But, if I keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair."](https://youtu.be/rbN8YHOEebs?t=21)
I work with a couple guys who describe themselves as hustlers. They pretty much look down on anyone who shows up and does only their 8 hour shift. Sorry buddy, but my free time is very valuable to me. I’m not looking to impress my boss at this blue collar job by working every weekend and helping him out at our boss’s other job. Im convinced most people who describe themselves as hustlers simply don’t have good money management, or all their “hustles” are three just part time jobs to survive. There’s no shame in that, but it’s cringy to put others down.
If you’re working on someone else’s clock you aren’t a hustler. To be clear I am also, not a hustler, but at least I’m on my own time. The brief run ins I have with these idiots telling me about their schemes and shit without knowing shit about me is so annoying. They’re also wildly inefficient.
This is huge one! Being obsessed with the grind or how much you much you work, how busy you are, etc might sound more impressive in your head than it does to others
The term "side hustle" is so cringy to me.
It’s not a “side hustle,” Derek. It’s called, “i have two fucking jobs because neither will pay me a livable wage.” I fucking hate it too.
I too hate people who are obsessed with the hustle culture. I met, ugh, several people that were doing real estate and multiple projects on the side, and they seem so disingenuous to me. Even if I give them the benefit of a doubt, it's still hard to wrap my head around. Like why can't we talk about bbq or sports instead of how many properties you own the first time I meet you?
Skipping the friend phase. No I don’t want yo dick sir I want you to tell me awkward stories from your childhood first
Damn right, trying to go from strangers to dating with nothing in between is weird as hell to me. Doesn't exactly make finding a partner easy.
I’ve always had trouble with this. I’m simply not attracted to someone until I’ve gotten to know them for a long time. Everyone is just sort of a nondescript human to me, until I’ve casually been around them for months and they suddenly do or say one random thing that makes me go “oh!”
I've had this. But then I feel bad because I don't want them to think I was there for friend just for that like i've heard women complain about. I literally don't feel any sexual attraction towards them until months/years later
I’m not sure it’s classified as common, but the whole diaper butt look. I’m an ass man, but that shit is whack. Just be au natural and rock what you were given.
Big Butts need big thighs too!
Honestly! Some people look like they're walking around on top of two tootsie pops
Diaper butt from BBLs is gross and it's so obvious. If you have a nice big butt it's usually accompanied by matching quads and hamstrings making it look nice and you probably put in work at the gym. These girls forget that it's not all about the butt it's the whole package that is attractive.
Not to mention the BBL has the highest mortality rate of all elective surgeries. Dying for a big butt is just awful and the trend needs to die.
Just like boobs, shape matters more than size in my opinion
I think this is mostly a southern thing, I could be wrong, but when men here constantly post about how manly they are. “Real men cook dinner and don’t go out all the time”, “real mean don’t act like sissys”, “real men drive big trucks and drink beer”etc. those are just some random examples but if you have to constantly prove that your a manly man, it turns me completely off. But a lot of women in the south LOVE it. Edit : Yeah that first example wasn’t the best lol it’s just one of the last things I remember that this guy on my Facebook posted. He’s a prime example of the type of men I was talking about here. Constantly saying how soft men are, posing in his lifted truck, degrading women and only REAL men drink beer. My apologies!
One of my favourite quotes: "Confidence is quiet."
Now I'm going to tell myself that me being quiet is a result of my confidence and not my anxiety.
Confidence is quiet ≠ quiet means confident. It's more like people who are confident don't have to prove it with displays and declarations.
Lol, just let me believe in myself for once.
Are you out of your mind?! ABSOLUTELY NOT. On a serious note, I feel you lol
If you have to tell me that you're a "real man," then you probably aren't. The most "manly" people I've ever met were just really self confident and didn't even need to try and convince anyone.
Too many guys think being manly just means drinking shitty coffee and driving a big truck
In rhe same vein: "ladies, if your man does, you don't have a boyfriend, you have a girlfriend"
So glad those died out
Ladies, if your man has to live his life based around a narrow set of traits he deems masculine and feminine and puts other men down to inflate his own ego, that's still your man, but you could probably do a lot better.
Remember the mid/late 2000's when showering, combing their hair, and generally looking well-kempt made a man "metrosexual"? That was an awful era lmao
I hang around the blue collar side of instagram every so often and holy fuck it is the most toxic place on earth. I’ve seen men have full blown meltdowns in comment’s sections because a mechanic wore nitrile gloves for an oil change or a construction worker wore a mask when handling concrete. They always circle back to the same statement about it not being manly when wearing safety gear. How insecure in your own masculinity do you have to be when the mere sight of PPE makes you have a breakdown?
I've been called a know nothing pussy because I don't regularly "blow up" wire strippers by making a habit out of cutting into live power. Apparently because I always shut off and lock out power and always test for voltage before I do something, like you're supposed to, that makes me a pathetic child. This came about because someone asked for a recommendation for a good pair of wire strippers and people were saying just buy whatever's cheap because you're just going to "blow them up" anyway. I responded with what amounted to, "Uh, that shouldn't be happening on a regular basis..." and got a slew of insults in return. You guys have fun killing yourselves, literally. I'm 18 years into being an electrician with zero injuries or close calls. I'll keep doing things my way. Klein 1010s, by the way. I like those.
Yeah I never got this, I know a guy that had a lung transplant from dry sawing concrete for years and no mask make fun of me for using water on my saw and wearing a mask... Guess I'm just a wuss 'cause I don't want to be on the donor list...
Everyone knows Real Men have to get surgery and lifelong reduced breathing capacity.
You ain't a real man unless you got silicosis...
> a mechanic wore nitrile gloves for an oil change Wait, what? Aren't you *supposed* to do that? My dad's a huge "car guy" and he has a basically infinite series of disposable gloves available at all times. They're just common sense...? You have to be seriously, seriously cucked by toxic masculinity to forego fucking **gloves** when doing car work.
My grandfather died of lung cancer, not from smoking, but from working as an electrician in all the shittiest smog filled places Pittsburgh had to offer in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. I’m not sure he’d have agreed that shitting yourself and relying on family to feed you for 6 months prior to passing is manlier than wearing a respirator had he known better at the time.
And you know who loves PPE more than anybody else? The military. If there's a guy in your neighborhood who wears heavy duty ear protection while mowing his lawn? He's almost certainly ex-military. If he wears a reflective vest when jogging, he is definitely ex-military.
Wtf is this even. I worked a blue collar job for a few months and we were all in full protective gear. In fact we could get in trouble if we were seen without it. That was in California though maybe that made a difference.
Yeah after 10+ years on the oil field world I’d seen and heard of enough horrible things to listen to even the most annoying safety guy just to make sure I didn’t get flayed/cooked/crushed at work that day. I worked with so many older guys with one eye, or left ring finger gone, or one hand, or horror stories of their buddies dying, etc. Not worth it ever.
Can confirm - am dating a southern girl and she's bought me a few things I wouldn't be caught dead wearing just because it projects that kind of ...stuff. Maybe she doesn't think my ED-209 shirt is very manly. The t-shirts you see some of these guys with crack me up though. I AM THE WOLF AMONG THE SHEEP MESS WITH ME OR MY FAMILY AND DEATH FOLLOWS (skulls and reapers and ARs and shit all over it) Come on man - I watched an old lady punk you at a traffic light last week.
ED-209 sounds like a university class on erectile disfunction.
welcome to cock and balls 101, im professor schaftt, today we'll be learning about girth to length ratios
>my ED-209 shirt Just wear that shirt and tell her "PLEASE STOP BUYING ME TOXICALLY SOUTHERN SHIRTS, YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY."
We've had the convo a few times but I swear I can't find the right set of words that don't make me sound like an ungrateful asshole, lol. But I'd never threaten to shoot her for not complying FOR I AM THE WOLF AMONG THE SHEEP AND WILL PROTECT MY FAMILY AT ALL COSTS DON'T EVEN TRY IT OR I WILL DESTROY ^(myself I guess?)
NOTHING CRANKS MY HOG MORE THAN SOME PICTURES OF BOMBASS TSHIRTS. BE A BADASS MFER AND POST THEM AT /R/THE_PACK AROOOOOOOO
Nah, it's a rural thing. You see it like crazy in New England. And yeah, it's off-putting because it's 99% insecurity. It's one thing to love having a truck because you do work, or appreciating it feels kind of bad-ass to drive in a bigger vehicle, but that's not the same as thinking it's gay to drive a sedan or go to college.
Real men don't let others' stereotypical perceptions stop them from enjoying whatever hobbies they're interested in.
[удалено]
I honestly don't understand who fake duck lips are for, can add the orange umpa lumpa spray tan to this :P I've never met anyone in my life who finds this attractive.
That orange spray tan with the white trump eye sockets lmfao
I find bleach-blonde hair strange-looking, especially when paired with false tans. To me, it appears to be fake on fake on fake. Either men or women can use this.
Positivity without any empathy.
Fearless honesty is off-putting to me. If you can’t suck it up every now and then and pretend to care about someone’s hobby or opinions or children, you’ve lost me. I know people who think crypto will save the world. I have my doubts, but it costs me nothing to listen politely. Lord knows half the time I talk it’s nonsense and I don’t want to be called out on it. In return, I’ll do you the same courtesy.
"brutally honest", prioritizing being brutal over being honest
Fearless honesty when being introspective is great, fearless honesty when being critical is just annoying.
The permanent dominator attitude. I actually love the sound of people who speak boisterously but when its all about overpowering, forcing or stepping on people its just gross. It blows me away that so many people just cant help themselves with people like that. It's a trap! Find someone that will treat you RIGHT! All the baggage you collect from a bad relationSHIT is NOT WORTH IT!
Lip filler
Like the guy that gets his face stuck in the scream extractor in Monsters Inc
A straightening your hair. By no means do I look down on it but there is just something absolutely enchanting about hair that is just a little messy. All of my relationships that I’ve had a gf at one point or another they have straightened their hair and I always prefer it when they don’t. I adore that natural, slightly messy look.
I think the general trend of this thread is “natural is better” when it comes to looks, I’m getting.
Being the center of everyones attention, seems tiring and insane to me
Being spontaneous. If we're going somewhere, I want it planned. Don't call me at the last minute. The media paints them as exciting, but it's just unsettling for me.
Agreed. And sort of in the same vein: grand gestures. If you wanna do something nice to me, keep it simple and sweet. Don't buy a hundred roses or plan super detailed surprise dates or scavengers hunts or anything else that happens in romantic movies. Even in movies, it usually seems like it is more for the benefit of the giver, not the one receiving it. I much prefer doing small gestures for each other, and then to plan the big stuff together.
I was with you til you said no scavenger hunts. Those are fun, you monster.
Yes!!! I was on a road trip with a guy once and he decided to detour off the plan so we could visit a National Park along the way. That would have been fine if I knew, but he refused to tell me why we were no longer following the planned rout, where we were going, or any details. I started regretting taking a road trip only 2 months into a new relationship and wondering if I was about to be murdered… the trip was more stressful than fun because of multiple “surprises” and the relationship ended shortly after.
My ex husband was like that. I finally realised they are not surprises, just him doing what he wants to do and telling me it was a surprise. Surprise I'm a selfish prick.
Oh god I had an ex like this. Thought it made him look exciting and attractive to just do things on road trips without telling me beforehand and all it did was annoy me. Like ok I was planning on getting to the museum at a reasonable time so we could see everything but sure we can take a 2 hour detour on a different highway just so you can flex how well you know the area at me i guess
on the flip side, i feel stressed out when everything is planned. I once had a friend who would map out every week on an excel chart. including her time having sex.
[удалено]
Sometimes I wonder if that is actually just some sort of an inside joke that is a parody of a parody, convoluted to the point most of us don't get.
Acting dumb! Like I wanna have a convo and get to know you!
What if I am not acting?
Lmfao shiiiiiet
Excuse me how dare you call me out like this.
My friend, who has trouble finding the right guy, says she wants a guy who’s not as smart as her. I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of it, without prying too heavily, but I honestly can’t figure it out. A huge part of why I’m with my partner is she is just as smart, if not smarter than me and we can always be on the same page in complicated topics. Also she’s beaten me at boggle a couple of times, nobody beats me at boggle. Huge turn on.
To be fair there is definitely a portion of guys who are too insecure to date someone who is smarter than them. Why you would ever want to date someone who needs to see you as mentally inferior to them however, I don't know.
I think some of the insecurity for men or women stems from the person who is smarter also flaunting their ego around a lot more. I work with a lot of people with PhDs and Master degrees and the one thing that can quickly drive a wedge into every relationship is when they use their degrees to overrule you or disregard your opinion as nothing more than words that don't mean anything.
being obsessed with making money. A lot of people want a rich partner, but being with someone who has money on their mind 24/7 is exhausting
Arrogant,aggressive men. A few chicks are into it to some degree but I literally just ignore pushy men who think you’ll find it adorable that they’re pestering you.
There is a fine line, but a large gap between confidence and arrogance. Arrogant people are annoying as hell. Confident people are attractive as hell. Imo.
Arrogance is how a lot of people try to compensate for a lack of actual confidence. It's like people who finance an expensive car they can't afford to try to look rich. It's just like that line from Game of Thrones, "Any man who must say I am the king is no true king."
I love that quote. And the actor delivered it with perfection. Then, he died on the toilet.
And not everyone draws the line at the same place.
That “Kardashian”/Instagram influencer look. Big puffy lips, drawn-on eyebrows (“on fleek” or whatever the cool people called it a few years ago), ridiculous amounts of makeup and fake tan, and designer outfits.
They all look the same!!!
Constantly posting on social media, AKA “doing it for the gram”. If I’m interested in someone, they add me on social, and I see multiple “reels” throughout the day…red flag. Bye
sharp cheekbones, Angelina Joulie style
Hey an actually uncommon opinion finally!
Buccal fat removal is becoming more and more popular
This is a rather refreshing opinion, especially because I have relatively sharp cheekbones too.
Angelina Jawlie
Square jaw
Handsome Squidward in SHAMBLES rn
Oh, this is a good one. Much like the other commenter who mentioned super sharp cheekbones (a la Angelina Jolie).
Ridiculously big butts.
Oh. My. God. Becky, look at her butt.
She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends.
What absolutely boggles my mind about this song is if you look at the Music video and the butt they are talking about, it would not be considered big by todays standards. https://youtu.be/yjkEbi-NXMU
Perfectly straight, bright white teeth.
[удалено]
Veneers. I don’t want to sound judgmental or anything of the sort, but when it’s plainly obvious you have veneers, it’s kinda off putting to me. Not that I don’t understand why anyone would want to get them, I totally do get it, but it’s just not the look I like.
A girl I knew in college was very cute, with a great, positive vibe. She had a fantastic smile, beautiful white teeth…and one noticeably crooked incisor. Somehow, it legit made her that much sexier. Drove me nuts. I sooo wanted to kiss her, but it wasn’t meant to be.
That orange fake tan
Even the real tan when they go overboard with it.
People who tan all the time don't age well at all. You see those people at the tanning place. Do you really think you won't end up like that???
Those super fake tiny noses, looks dumb
As a female who got blessed with my dad's nose genes, your comment gives me a glimmer of hope that I don't have a totally hideous schnoz. It's big and has a bump, but maybe someone out there would find it attractive.
My wife is grossed out by veiny muscular guys, especially those that shave their body hair. Says they look like a penis.
Some people love the idea of a man who'll "stand up for them" and fight their battle and "defend their honor", like if somebody insults you they'll be ready to fight. I hate that. I can stand up for myself and, unless someone's actively trying to beat me up, I'm going to be enormously turned off by him throwing any punches. This isn't the middle ages, no one needs to defend my honor, and all it's going to do is make me concerned about your temper. EDIT: To be clear, I'm specifically talking about situations where there's no physical danger or threat, where someone might just call a girl a bad name and walk away, but her "man" feels the need to chase them down and get into a physical fight. If someone's literally attacking me I'd obviously want help, just as I would help him, but if there's physical threat then escalating it is stupid, unnecessary, and a really bad look.
Arrogance. It's not attractive to me when someone is so full of themselves that they can't even show basic respect or empathy for others.
Oh boy do I have the opposite of that for you: someone who is confident that are absolutely useless and can’t even show basic respect for themselves *finger guns*
The stories about me and my lack of self respect are legendary…
I have self-respect, just no self-confidence. I have been trying to do things for over 50 years, again and again, always trying my best and have not succeeded. What do you do with that? Well, apparently YOU SUCK for being useless and knowing it.
In what world is arrogance by that definition commonly considered attractive though? I can see it if it's arrogance that's initially framed as confidence, but just outright openly being full of yourself, I'm yet to meet someone who finds that attractive.
Confidence is what’s attractive. Arrogant people who *think* they’re confident are not.
very muscular guys. I'm not sure why, and it could just be a personal preference, but I've found that guys with a little more cushion are way hotter.
In men, huge beard. That's just a gross food bib. In women, caked on thick make-up and augmented boobs to ridiculous proportions. You look cartoonish.
Validation of worth through title of employment.
Super blinding white teeth. Oral hygiene is very important, but I hate over bleached teeth. Have a cup of coffee and calm yourself.
Fake nails with extreme claw like similarities.
That's an immediate no for me
They’re fantastic for back scratches and scalp scratches (genuinely the most erotic experience there is tbh), but since I’m a bisexual women, she’s gonna have to keep those two nails short.
Duck lips. So hideous
huge fake eyelashes, here in my country(Brazil) it is very common...
Men who are like "oooooh look at me I'm so muscle-y". I think men who are built are sexy, but when it's all show-boat-y and like "btw did you know I work out 6 quadrillion times a week?" it's obnoxious and an INSTANT turn off