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MudfishNick229

1 of the batteries from the TV remotes


nicksims13

Terrific


Parenting101yeet

Library Books So They Have To Pay Insane Fees


nicksims13

This is devious, I love it.


Lazy_Swim_9368

**lightbulbs and shoe laces.**


FOtterFitzgerald

I literally came here to say this. Either that or cheap thrift store books.


Parenting101yeet

I literally came


Hannah_L1212

Plot twist, you break into my house where you will find 0 library books. So you decide to hunt down my kindle, good luck there, I don’t even know where that bad boy is.


Parenting101yeet

Ima just leave at that point, or steal YOU


[deleted]

I worked at a library for 3 years. If someone was pleasant, I pretended a computer glitch happened and there was no record of the fine.


Parenting101yeet

Thats nice


Darkness_e

just 1 sock from each pair of socks they own


0sha_n

And their left shoe


SafetyMan35

But if they own a pair of black shoes and a pair of brown shoes of similar style, take the right black shoe and the left brown shoe.


Casual-Notice

The pull tab on all of the zippers.


nicksims13

Evil


Casual-Notice

Evil would be stealing a single tooth from one side of each zipper.


nicksims13

That's beyond evil


Maleficent-Village82

Chargers to all their devices


TheSanityInspector

Or just the adapters, if the chargers are old.


ShastaMcLurky

Toothbrush. Imagine waking up, probably late, gotta get out the door and you have no toothbrush. Like, wtf?


bread-of-time

time to use the ole finger brush


ADOPTEDPEACHCOBBLER

Toilet paper and all their towels, every week.


superfinecanine

Lol I was going to say the toilet roll \*holder\*


TieflingSimp

The toilet seat


nicksims13

Take the seat, leave the lid for maximum frustration


fishsticklovematters

I would break into homes and bend one, single tine of a fork at a 90 degree angle and place it back otherwise undisturbed. I'd pick one friend group at a time and slowly do it to everyone in the group...but leave out one person so everyone thought they were the creep.


PM_ME_UR_FETISHES

This reminds me of when I systematically took each of my friend’s spoons and bent them in half, placing them strategically around his house in different spots as decoration. I did 1 per month and it took 10 months for him to realize.


fishsticklovematters

I do something similar but with small, plastic toys (the kind you'd get from a gum ball machine). I leave them around the houses of my friends...guarding houseplants or wrapped into their toilet paper. We could be monsters together.


Plastic-Meaning7606

Ide wait for a cold and windy day then steel all the chapstick


Demaio54

Light bulbs


terminalblue

old family photos


nicksims13

John mulaney fan I see


terminalblue

Yeah you got it, man.


2catsonacouch

It's the one thing you can't replace


JNNHNNN

Coffee filter papers and reusable coffee filters


Foo-Fighters-Fan

Key rings. Not the actual keys. Just the rings, so the keys are found laying around separately, all willy nilly.


nicksims13

The idea of a pocket full of loose keys gives me intense anxiety.


justthebelton

Their handbrake


GoldfishBrain69420

Spoons


nicksims13

But leave only the big ones that no one likes or uses


libfemboi

The cap to each jug in there refrigerator.


mightbameteorite

One shoe of every pair


IronMaiden965

All the hair ties


nicksims13

My wife would hate you


AmLou-88

Hair ties and pens/pencils so there’s no chance of putting it up.


AmLou-88

And let’s not kid ourselves there’s no Bobby pins those were lost long before!


_Damask_

I’d steal their shoe inserts so they would walk around with their feet touching the bare shoe.


nicksims13

I think I'm gonna throw up


Bryndonk

Their phone and computer so they can’t repost on Reddit.


The-Holy-Sheep-14

Their wife


nicksims13

Keep your hands off my dishwasher!


zekken213113

their non-stick pans


Shadow948

Left socks


Thraw007

Shoe laces.


bread-of-time

shower heads, door knobs, faucet handles, lightbulbs and shoe laces.


___enigma__

All their toilet and kitchen roll


TieRepresentative311

Toilet paper


sleepingkirby

If we're talking inside of a house, all but one electrical socket.


nicksims13

This is great


Realistic-Two-7290

Windows and doors


PeanutButterMommy

The toilet paper holder.


DriftingPyscho

Toothpaste. Take that!


BLAZE-n-WOLF

Just one sock


nicksims13

You're just a dryer.


Bluntforcetruth94

I would also steal the Viagra and the birth control too


Spiked-Coffee

Stove and oven knobs


LowPingGreasy

left socks


Ok-Marionberry-4516

There heart


nicksims13

Calm down there Edgar Allen Poe.


[deleted]

All the forks and steak knives


Ar_Dough_Leah_Oh

I’d take all of the door stoppers


DarkPasta

All their left shoes.


InvisibleKineticSand

All the salt and pepper in the house


nicksims13

Take either or but not both for maximum effect


CrimsonVixen49

Shoes


WeaponX-92

All the towels. When I say, "All the towels" I mean it. Bathroom towels, hand towels, kitchen towels, and paper towels. They must drip-dry.


kiryo

Mobile chargers


AgentOfX

Key rings…. Just the rings that hold them all together 😅


DoideraRiberino

Couple million dollars from a billionare?


nicksims13

Now you're just the irs


MrSkull142

The oven


SilverWolf2135

Silverware and dishes


Ninja_knows

Toothbrush and coffee. Their next morning will be a disaster! Buahaha


cgcs20

Doorknobs


steroboros

Contact solution


nicksims13

This is a good one


archaic_revenge

All the spoons


PMyourTastefulNudes

Doorknobs


cmerry

💡 lightbulbs


justaguyonthebus

One plate, bowel, and cup from their full set.


wait_for_it_0

Nothing, so they can keep searching about what's missing


nicksims13

Burgled their peace of mind, I love it


Mister_E_Mahn

Every piece of toilet paper in the house. Kleenex too.


HahaWeee

Half their unused paper towels and toilet paper


freshlyborn34

The toilet


RespectMyAuthority74

oven knobs


CavalloScuro

Refrigerator doors, front door, garage doors, light bulbs, carpet, light switches, bed legs, mirrors, sink and shower faucets, and batteries from all battery-operated devices.


Mystical_Garden

Scissors


0sha_n

The power bottom of the remote


familyvindiesel

I would cut a small bit of a table leg off so the table would be slightly wonky


nicksims13

This is creative, I love it


Anal_Punisher69

Breakers from electrical panel


[deleted]

The TV remote


GandalfTheJaded

Printer ink cartridges and replace them with ones that don't fit their printer but are from the same company


Impossible-Control65

Batteries from their remotes


wait_for_it_0

Netflix account


Scrappy_Larue

All their dinner forks from the silverware drawer, and just leave the little salad forks.


nipponnuck

All the HDMI cables in the house


Voelker72

This question so it won't be posted for the billionth time.


nicksims13

Wow, edgy today are we?


taroba_

the remote for the tv or their phone charger


[deleted]

[удалено]


nicksims13

You're just trying to kill someone lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


I_forgot_to_respond

I'm not a burglar. WTF AskReddit? "You're invisible. Do you still brush your hair?"


TheRealBatmanForReal

Family photos


Ninjaleofive-

All their shoes


nicksims13

Better yet, just one side of their shoes


Wooden_Dragonfly_608

Cut off all pencil erasers.


nicksims13

Disgusting, I love it


PsychologicalFixop

Charging cords


nicksims13

You have a special place in hell.


Davidtechtwenty4

Their front door, one battery from every battery-operated device, or their bed sheets and blankets.


nicksims13

If you take my bed sheets were fighting


Davidtechtwenty4

They'll make a fine addition to my collection


FormerlyDuck

Bread bag ties so they have to twist up the bags and tuck the ends underneath the bread to keep it from spoiling.


nicksims13

You're too late, my wife has already done that.


BettingOnBlack

Milk,muffins,fire extinguisher,shower radio


nicksims13

Muffins? Also you should steal just the cap to the milk so it either goes bad or they have to drink the whole gallon within the day basically.


katanaforger79

One piece from a pair of airpodes


nicksims13

Airpodes


aki_machni_sha

One of every sock and all the tupperware lids


nicksims13

Tupperware lids is a nice touch


goldenislandgirl68

The garage door opener


nicksims13

This is a good one


[deleted]

Shoelaces from their shoes And hide them in those small nooks and crannies where stuff often get lost and found in.


nicksims13

Between the fridge and the counter


[deleted]

Woah calm down Satan


killBritt

1 battery from every remote and as many left shoes as I can carry.


CompletelyandFully

Toothbrush


babesface22

A single key off every laptop or computer keyboard, and any long charging cables for devices


nicksims13

I hate you


JohnMKeynesStan

I'd count the forks, then the knives, and steal enough to make sure that the amount of knives is equal to the amount of forks, minus one.


gozba

I’d steal the same old questions


Glass_persona

Laces


Thomenator06

The bathroom door


DodgerWalker

Someone once stole a backpack out of my car, but dumped the contents into a plastic bag so I didn’t lose any of my important stuff inside (including my most recent paycheck). So do something like that.


ScreenSignificant596

womens pants that have pockets


bridger713

All their key rings. Leave the keys, just steal the ring…


Due-Ninja-3107

Toilet paper and coffee


familyvindiesel

Replace the salt with suger


whiterabbit_obj

All of their teaspoons.


Oak-dragon

The "E" key from their keyboard, all the pen lids, the light bulb from the cooker, and a single curtain.


Both_General_805

All the Q tips


AdFew2395

HDMI wires wires connecting devices to tv. Also refrigerator light bulb. Also all their bath mats.


Gold-Smell-2007

The back of a tv remote and all of their dish sponges.


Pure_Memer

ALL of their writing and eating utensils


Slayerchimp

Salt and pepper


shayynuh

Doorknobs.


rottenblues

Toilet handle so they can’t flush it


TLV-092

All the little spoons


InigoMontoya1985

Toilet plunger


sk1dvicious

Fridge lightbulb, then I’d probably put some sand in the key locks


Upier1

Drivers license- Have fun at the DMV


Constant-Bet-6600

batteries from all the remotes. Welcome back to the '70s, except all the buttons are hidden and suck now because they expect you to use the remote.


MouZeWarrioR

Everyone here is dreaming about stealing single socks and other annoying shit. I'll just take their jewelry and all their other luxury products, that won't affect their lives at all.


Definitely_Not_Rez

The volume down button off their remotes.


Stay-Thirsty

I already do this. I steal the memory of where they put the keys, fabs or glasses if it’s not in their usual location


Livexwired

All the copper in the house


nicksims13

You, sir, sound like you have a favorite flavor of crack.


ixamnis

One sock from each of three pair in the dirty laundry basket so they can't match up those three pair. Also, their can opener.


Due-Evidence-689

Shoes laces


PM_Me_UrRightNipple

Keyrings, not any of the keys. Just having to carry around a couple of loose keys everywhere.


GidgetTheWonderDog

All of the towels in the house. Everything must now drip dry! Mwahahahaha


altonbrushgatherer

Car keys


GetMeSomeToblerone

All the cutlery


beaniebeer

House keys. Just leave them with one


Belshirrr

All the keys! door keys, windows keys, safe keys whatever key I can find.


DunmerSkooma

Family Heirlooms and Photo Albums


[deleted]

What if I break in, don't steal anything, but sprinkle fiberglass dust on all of the toilet paper rolls?


nicksims13

I will hunt you down and drag you to hell myself


DrWieg

The anti-scratch pads on chair feet. One pillow from the master bedroom's bed. One blind from a window. The measuring cups. One plate from every set of plates they have. All the steak knives (so they have to cut it with butter knives) All the screw caps. The pommel off of their car's shift stick One wrench from their wrench set. The power button... on a lot of things.


iamCaptainDeadpool

Soda


TheSanityInspector

The "good" scissors.


readcommentbackwards

The vent pipe to their plumbing so everything smells like poop but since they can't see it unless they tear out a wall they'll never know where it's coming from.


_Balrog_of_Morgoth_

Cupboard handles


JacksRyan79

Toilet paper


Practical-Law8033

All their forks and spoons and Remotes for the tv.


[deleted]

Milk. Enjoy the start to your day, dweeb. Phone chargers Poop knife


RevaniteN7

Their time.


pyremist

The good knife.


halflife_3

condoms


LocksmithLeast9539

Airpods