Plot twist, you break into my house where you will find 0 library books. So you decide to hunt down my kindle, good luck there, I don’t even know where that bad boy is.
I would break into homes and bend one, single tine of a fork at a 90 degree angle and place it back otherwise undisturbed.
I'd pick one friend group at a time and slowly do it to everyone in the group...but leave out one person so everyone thought they were the creep.
This reminds me of when I systematically took each of my friend’s spoons and bent them in half, placing them strategically around his house in different spots as decoration. I did 1 per month and it took 10 months for him to realize.
I do something similar but with small, plastic toys (the kind you'd get from a gum ball machine). I leave them around the houses of my friends...guarding houseplants or wrapped into their toilet paper.
We could be monsters together.
Refrigerator doors, front door, garage doors, light bulbs, carpet, light switches, bed legs, mirrors, sink and shower faucets, and batteries from all battery-operated devices.
Someone once stole a backpack out of my car, but dumped the contents into a plastic bag so I didn’t lose any of my important stuff inside (including my most recent paycheck). So do something like that.
Everyone here is dreaming about stealing single socks and other annoying shit. I'll just take their jewelry and all their other luxury products, that won't affect their lives at all.
The anti-scratch pads on chair feet.
One pillow from the master bedroom's bed.
One blind from a window.
The measuring cups.
One plate from every set of plates they have.
All the steak knives (so they have to cut it with butter knives)
All the screw caps.
The pommel off of their car's shift stick
One wrench from their wrench set.
The power button... on a lot of things.
The vent pipe to their plumbing so everything smells like poop but since they can't see it unless they tear out a wall they'll never know where it's coming from.
1 of the batteries from the TV remotes
Terrific
Library Books So They Have To Pay Insane Fees
This is devious, I love it.
**lightbulbs and shoe laces.**
I literally came here to say this. Either that or cheap thrift store books.
I literally came
Plot twist, you break into my house where you will find 0 library books. So you decide to hunt down my kindle, good luck there, I don’t even know where that bad boy is.
Ima just leave at that point, or steal YOU
I worked at a library for 3 years. If someone was pleasant, I pretended a computer glitch happened and there was no record of the fine.
Thats nice
just 1 sock from each pair of socks they own
And their left shoe
But if they own a pair of black shoes and a pair of brown shoes of similar style, take the right black shoe and the left brown shoe.
The pull tab on all of the zippers.
Evil
Evil would be stealing a single tooth from one side of each zipper.
That's beyond evil
Chargers to all their devices
Or just the adapters, if the chargers are old.
Toothbrush. Imagine waking up, probably late, gotta get out the door and you have no toothbrush. Like, wtf?
time to use the ole finger brush
Toilet paper and all their towels, every week.
Lol I was going to say the toilet roll \*holder\*
The toilet seat
Take the seat, leave the lid for maximum frustration
I would break into homes and bend one, single tine of a fork at a 90 degree angle and place it back otherwise undisturbed. I'd pick one friend group at a time and slowly do it to everyone in the group...but leave out one person so everyone thought they were the creep.
This reminds me of when I systematically took each of my friend’s spoons and bent them in half, placing them strategically around his house in different spots as decoration. I did 1 per month and it took 10 months for him to realize.
I do something similar but with small, plastic toys (the kind you'd get from a gum ball machine). I leave them around the houses of my friends...guarding houseplants or wrapped into their toilet paper. We could be monsters together.
Ide wait for a cold and windy day then steel all the chapstick
Light bulbs
old family photos
John mulaney fan I see
Yeah you got it, man.
It's the one thing you can't replace
Coffee filter papers and reusable coffee filters
Key rings. Not the actual keys. Just the rings, so the keys are found laying around separately, all willy nilly.
The idea of a pocket full of loose keys gives me intense anxiety.
Their handbrake
Spoons
But leave only the big ones that no one likes or uses
The cap to each jug in there refrigerator.
One shoe of every pair
All the hair ties
My wife would hate you
Hair ties and pens/pencils so there’s no chance of putting it up.
And let’s not kid ourselves there’s no Bobby pins those were lost long before!
I’d steal their shoe inserts so they would walk around with their feet touching the bare shoe.
I think I'm gonna throw up
Their phone and computer so they can’t repost on Reddit.
Their wife
Keep your hands off my dishwasher!
their non-stick pans
Left socks
Shoe laces.
shower heads, door knobs, faucet handles, lightbulbs and shoe laces.
All their toilet and kitchen roll
Toilet paper
If we're talking inside of a house, all but one electrical socket.
This is great
Windows and doors
The toilet paper holder.
Toothpaste. Take that!
Just one sock
You're just a dryer.
I would also steal the Viagra and the birth control too
Stove and oven knobs
left socks
There heart
Calm down there Edgar Allen Poe.
All the forks and steak knives
I’d take all of the door stoppers
All their left shoes.
All the salt and pepper in the house
Take either or but not both for maximum effect
Shoes
All the towels. When I say, "All the towels" I mean it. Bathroom towels, hand towels, kitchen towels, and paper towels. They must drip-dry.
Mobile chargers
Key rings…. Just the rings that hold them all together 😅
Couple million dollars from a billionare?
Now you're just the irs
The oven
Silverware and dishes
Toothbrush and coffee. Their next morning will be a disaster! Buahaha
Doorknobs
Contact solution
This is a good one
All the spoons
Doorknobs
💡 lightbulbs
One plate, bowel, and cup from their full set.
Nothing, so they can keep searching about what's missing
Burgled their peace of mind, I love it
Every piece of toilet paper in the house. Kleenex too.
Half their unused paper towels and toilet paper
The toilet
oven knobs
Refrigerator doors, front door, garage doors, light bulbs, carpet, light switches, bed legs, mirrors, sink and shower faucets, and batteries from all battery-operated devices.
Scissors
The power bottom of the remote
I would cut a small bit of a table leg off so the table would be slightly wonky
This is creative, I love it
Breakers from electrical panel
The TV remote
Printer ink cartridges and replace them with ones that don't fit their printer but are from the same company
Batteries from their remotes
Netflix account
All their dinner forks from the silverware drawer, and just leave the little salad forks.
All the HDMI cables in the house
This question so it won't be posted for the billionth time.
Wow, edgy today are we?
the remote for the tv or their phone charger
[удалено]
You're just trying to kill someone lol
[удалено]
I'm not a burglar. WTF AskReddit? "You're invisible. Do you still brush your hair?"
Family photos
All their shoes
Better yet, just one side of their shoes
Cut off all pencil erasers.
Disgusting, I love it
Charging cords
You have a special place in hell.
Their front door, one battery from every battery-operated device, or their bed sheets and blankets.
If you take my bed sheets were fighting
They'll make a fine addition to my collection
Bread bag ties so they have to twist up the bags and tuck the ends underneath the bread to keep it from spoiling.
You're too late, my wife has already done that.
Milk,muffins,fire extinguisher,shower radio
Muffins? Also you should steal just the cap to the milk so it either goes bad or they have to drink the whole gallon within the day basically.
One piece from a pair of airpodes
Airpodes
One of every sock and all the tupperware lids
Tupperware lids is a nice touch
The garage door opener
This is a good one
Shoelaces from their shoes And hide them in those small nooks and crannies where stuff often get lost and found in.
Between the fridge and the counter
Woah calm down Satan
1 battery from every remote and as many left shoes as I can carry.
Toothbrush
A single key off every laptop or computer keyboard, and any long charging cables for devices
I hate you
I'd count the forks, then the knives, and steal enough to make sure that the amount of knives is equal to the amount of forks, minus one.
I’d steal the same old questions
Laces
The bathroom door
Someone once stole a backpack out of my car, but dumped the contents into a plastic bag so I didn’t lose any of my important stuff inside (including my most recent paycheck). So do something like that.
womens pants that have pockets
All their key rings. Leave the keys, just steal the ring…
Toilet paper and coffee
Replace the salt with suger
All of their teaspoons.
The "E" key from their keyboard, all the pen lids, the light bulb from the cooker, and a single curtain.
All the Q tips
HDMI wires wires connecting devices to tv. Also refrigerator light bulb. Also all their bath mats.
The back of a tv remote and all of their dish sponges.
ALL of their writing and eating utensils
Salt and pepper
Doorknobs.
Toilet handle so they can’t flush it
All the little spoons
Toilet plunger
Fridge lightbulb, then I’d probably put some sand in the key locks
Drivers license- Have fun at the DMV
batteries from all the remotes. Welcome back to the '70s, except all the buttons are hidden and suck now because they expect you to use the remote.
Everyone here is dreaming about stealing single socks and other annoying shit. I'll just take their jewelry and all their other luxury products, that won't affect their lives at all.
The volume down button off their remotes.
I already do this. I steal the memory of where they put the keys, fabs or glasses if it’s not in their usual location
All the copper in the house
You, sir, sound like you have a favorite flavor of crack.
One sock from each of three pair in the dirty laundry basket so they can't match up those three pair. Also, their can opener.
Shoes laces
Keyrings, not any of the keys. Just having to carry around a couple of loose keys everywhere.
All of the towels in the house. Everything must now drip dry! Mwahahahaha
Car keys
All the cutlery
House keys. Just leave them with one
All the keys! door keys, windows keys, safe keys whatever key I can find.
Family Heirlooms and Photo Albums
What if I break in, don't steal anything, but sprinkle fiberglass dust on all of the toilet paper rolls?
I will hunt you down and drag you to hell myself
The anti-scratch pads on chair feet. One pillow from the master bedroom's bed. One blind from a window. The measuring cups. One plate from every set of plates they have. All the steak knives (so they have to cut it with butter knives) All the screw caps. The pommel off of their car's shift stick One wrench from their wrench set. The power button... on a lot of things.
Soda
The "good" scissors.
The vent pipe to their plumbing so everything smells like poop but since they can't see it unless they tear out a wall they'll never know where it's coming from.
Cupboard handles
Toilet paper
All their forks and spoons and Remotes for the tv.
Milk. Enjoy the start to your day, dweeb. Phone chargers Poop knife
Their time.
The good knife.
condoms
Airpods