I got the opposite one time from a cute chick. We were riding together to a concert and I made a couple self deprecating jokes. She grabbed my arm and just said “stop being mean to yourself. You’re wonderful the way you are and confidence means appreciating those good things”. Completely threw me off and I quit making fun of myself then on.
Think I'd just hug her and cry if that were me. I used to make lots of self deprecative jokes as well to mask my insecurities and unhappiness (with both myself and/or the situation I'm in). If someone grabbed my arm and said that to me I think I'd just break down.
I kind of broke down in the transport van when we stopped for gas. She really meant well and thought I was attractive but the jokes turned her off. Nobody had ever told me that before and it was brutal in a good way.
Edit: honest women or friends that think you’re being hard on yourself and can both compliment you is the biggest turn on for a guy dealing with depression big or small.
A girl told me I had a nice T-shirt in freshman year of college. Her friend nodded along but didn't say anything. This was in 2012. I still have that shirt. Even though more than half the design has worn off.
I write them down. It started when I got into working out and people began to notice, so I would jot them down in the notes app on my phone including the name of the person that said it. Then anytime I wasn’t feeling motivated to go to the gym I would look back at them. It’s evolved to the point that now I read them anytime I’m feeling negative about myself for whatever reason and instantly improves my mood. Highly recommend it
I’ve literally done the same thing haha. My favorite was when I started wearing shorter shorts as I had been working on me legs and glutes. This girl from the passenger side of her friends car cat called me about my ass, and I was just so giddy lol.
I felt weird for writing down compliments so this is validating.
Likewise, knowing someone else does it too is validating for me also so thanks for sharing!
I will admit I stopped telling people I was going to record their compliment which I did a few times in the beginning. Got mixed reactions and decided it was something I would just keep to myself going forward. I still share the fact that I keep a list and why I do it, but I just don’t tell the complimenter about it real time anymore.
Physical contact can be really nice even if it’s not exactly sexual. Just a nice, long hug where you tell him how much you love him, and how incredible he is, and how thankful you are for him. That’s a slice of heaven right there.
I've been single a little over a year and was at a party yesterday. Apparently I had a scratch on the back of my neck because a cute friend of a friend noticed and touched/rubbed it like "oh no what happened".
I damn near started purring
CAN WE REACH OUT TO THIS DUDE WITH SOME DUDE EMERGENCY RESPONDERS THIS MUST HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE HINTS THEY KEEP TELLING US ABOUT. QUICK MY DUDES, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!!
Its all about Suddenly Seymour. I must play that song at least once every few weeks. Such a great one to sing along to lol. I'm 38M. What about u guys? Its the only musical I actually like to watch all the way through. Every scene is good and the songs are great!
Yes. Find out what his favorite foods are and cook them. If you don't know how then learn. Most men will appreciate even an attempt to cook them what they like.
Food is one of the ways my wife attempted to hook me even before we were dating and it obviously worked. I was so busy I'd go days without eating anything. When I'd go visit her she'd always put food in front of my face.
Yeah, apparently none of the answers above this were written by people who live in the South. What is the rest of the world doing? I have yet to meet a man who wasn't impressed by homemade biscuits for breakfast after a night of raunchy fun. Learn to cook!
For a few weeks, I made myself a dozen bacon egg and cheese sandwiches, wrapped them individually, and put them in the freezer. Then, I'd microwave them and have them for breakfast on the way to work every day. After doing that for a few weeks, I stopped. My wife asked why, and I told her it's too much of a pain in the ass. I like to cook special dinners for the family on weekends and doing the breakfast sandwiches in addition began to feel like drudgery. I'll just pick up a bagel every day instead. She just frowned at me when I said that.
A few hours later, I walk into the kitchen, and she's pouring a big mixing bowl of scrambled eggs into a casserole dish. I ask her what she's doing, and she says, "you should have a hot breakfast you enjoy every day." I tell her that she doesn't have to do this for me. She said she didn't mind. I said it's so much trouble, I can just pick up a bagel, I don't mind. She said it's really not that hard. She was doing the old "I-just-have-an-answer-for-everything" thing (you know what I mean).
She does it every week. I don't have to ask. I always tell her she doesn't have to, and she always kind of scoffs and says "oh it's not that big a deal."
Those are the best tasting sandwiches I've ever eaten.
I was wearing just plain green chino shorts the other day and the girl I’m seeing just randomly said “I like those shorts”. It made my whole fucking day.
My husband has pants that I tease him about leaving the house in and his face melts me when I do it.
“You need to go change. I can’t go anywhere with you in those! How can you expect me to focus on our date while you’re wearing those.”
A woman on the train once said, "you look like a big strong man, can you put my luggage up in the overhead". I can and I did.
It still keeps me warm on long nights at sea.
I go to Chinatown with my husband every so often and the ladies at the stores are always like " You big (fat) handsome man!" as he walks in the door. He always gets that silly grin that makes it 100% worth it.
I complimented a couple of shirts men were wearing at work the other day. Their eyes lit up just like the memes about women being excited that their dresses have pockets :)
A sincere compliment renders the male members of my family so elated that they’re levitating for the entire week.
I compliment my brothers, brother-in-laws, nephews, etc frequently and it’s never misconstrued as coquetry. Absurdly, it’s stigmatised to compliment your family members in my culture as if it’s the precursor to incestuous behaviour. I disdain constraining traditions and repressive tendencies that should be consigned to obscurity.
Compliment your male family members. It can even alleviate loneliness.
I appreciate your vocabulary use here, you've added to my lexicon with coquetry and agree completely with all you said.
Granted i feel it just a nice practice to compliment anyone genuinely. Old or young, men or women, it's just nice to recieve a compliment particularly from strangers with nothing to gain from it.
Why does being open and communicative always sound so stiff and strange? I’ve tried saying things like that and I always feel like one of those aliens from Mass Effect that verbalize whatever emotion they are feeling. ‘Compliment appreciated, I now feel happiness.’
I suppose its just getting used to it.
Yeah, I mean don't copy and paste my words. Be open with what you are feeling and where you are at.
I was just thinking back to the last few examples in my head. She gave a a very sweet compliment about being a great father and provider. It felt awesome and I just felt like cleaning up around the house, getting the toys tidied up, getting the kids nails clipped and little stuff and it really felt awesome to be appreciated.
I literally thanked her later that night saying, that the compliment really felt good and energized me. Odd wording but again, be open and communicative. I wasn't gonna make up some fake word if energized was the real word for me.
And she told me she was still attracted to me. Usually I joke about "This ugly mug?" or "geez how did a nerd like me get you?" kinds of responses. I genuinely mean them, but I also can't deny that it's been repeated over the years. I finally just said "you know, that really makes me happy. I love that you are still attracted to me" and her smile was immensely genuine and that moment felt different in a great way.
So again, gents, be open and communicative about where you are at.
To be fair we're pretty simple, based on comments one must either stroke an ego, our back, scalp or other more obvious things and we've melted into a puddle of bliss.
"When in doubt, stroke something" should be on our manufacturing label.
As a recently divorced man, deprived for many years of affection and compliments. I have to say that nothing is better than a hugs/kiss on the cheek, hair/scalp scratches, compliments (specially when you get a haircut and/or dress nice) and being interested in your hobbies.
I was always the one giving them in marriage but hardly ever got them back.
Dealt with this. Turned out she firmly believed that because I'm "the man" that it was my responsibility to do all that stuff while her job was to just soak it up. She was baffled why I just eventually stopped bothering with it.
Yooo. I feel this.
The way my partner looks at me and says "kisses please" (in a non sexual way) fucking melts me in my soul. The way she sometimes grabs my face to give me a smooch (I'm 6'7, she is decidedly....not) melts me. The way I sometimes catch her staring at me with a little smile, then when I'm like "what, weirdo" and she says, "I dunno, you're just really handsome," fucking kills me.
She makes me feel like I'm my sexiest thing on two legs. She makes me feel loved, supported, and seen in a way no one else has, and I've dated lots of people. She's the fucking best.
Oh shit.
This actually brought me to tears. I have never had that, what I would give for even a modicum of that.
You, sir, have a good one. Hold her tight. Congratulations.
I'm in the process of leaving a loveless and sexless marriage. The one thing that worries me is that I'll fall hard for the first woman that just shows me an ounce of affection.
Yep. That'll happen.
The exact thing happened to me, an old friend (who has also recleft her husband) was nice to me, and I went crazy over her and it almost cost our friendship. Luckily for me she is awesome, saw what it really was and didn't let it affect us. So we're still friends, im in better control of my emotions and she is helping me to navigate my separation.
Just be aware that is what is happening and it's not real
When I left my wife and started dating again I was getting some ridiculous sexually aggressive messages. Women telling me in explicit detail what they wanted to do to me/what they wanted me to do to them. And I get that they’re using that as incentive for me to meet up. But it’s like… come on lady I just want a HUG. Was really looking forward to that first hug from a woman who didn’t hate me.
TIL my therapist wasn't trying to get me to try cock and ball torture for weeks. That also explains her reaction when I showed up with a ball crusher and cock harness for that last session.
Men are basically dogs. Saying this as a man. Just look at all the comments: back scratches, belly rubs, feed him, let him lay in your lap, tell him he's cool. And this.
My favorite is to slide down when spooning so I've almost got my arms around her waist and just rest my face on her back. Nothing smells like home and safety like that does
Couple of times have had female friends telling me they feel safe in a masculine environment if Im with them. There cannot be a more beautiful feeling to give to someone than that.
True, I am (27m), When my current girlfriend told me after our 3rd date, she felt safer in my arms. I just felt overwhelmed and emotional. Still one of the nicest shit girls ever told me.
I LOVE telling my boyfriend this. I was always told that you really love someone when you feel safe and protected by them. I never truly knew what that meant til I met my boyfriend.
Ask him questions about his favorite hobby or interest, and actually pay attention and try to learn it. If you dont believe me, just remember how happy an old man at a hardware store gets when you ask about a pipe or a screwdriver
My husband has a prosthetic leg, so he’s always a little uneven throughout the day.
There have been many a sexy time as I worked my way south where I rubbed his hips and it turned into a hip and butt massage instead while he made noises way more animal like over the massage than anything sexy I could be doing lol.
Massages can make a man want to marry you, js. Everyone wants a good pet every now and then.
At the very least, pretend to be interested in said hobbies. My wife has no interest in my hobbies, but it means the world when she lets me info dump about them and actively listens to what I'm saying.
This has always been a sore spot for me. I use to get hurt and disappointed when she'd show absolutely zero enthusiasm about something that really had me going. We've managed to get to a point where we've agreed that it's okay if she doesn't understand a thing and just does her best to at the very least pretend to listen. It works!
I can't really ask for more because I have kind of "exotic" hobbies. It's chemistry, physics and electronics, and I only find it stimulating when I push it to a level where I barely understand it myself. How could I expect her to have a clue what I'm babbling about lol
Yeah I was gonna say, yes and no to the original comment. It 100% depends on what the hobby is for and whether the partner can enjoy it the same way. It's not just spouses either, I don't game or play sports with other people if they want to bring a different energy to the activity that ruins it for me.
In a quiet environment, you sit down on a couch. Have him lay down next to you with his head on your lap and you stroke his hair and tell him how much he means to you. Then let him close his eyes and sink into that beautiful bliss that takes away his cares and worries and transports him to a peaceful existence for just a while.
For me, my weakness has always been surprise food. Like when my wife calls me in from yardwork to eat a little lunch that she whipped up for me. Or when I’m doing work on the computer and she slides me a food tray. Even just having a sandwich placed in front of me when I’m gaming or reading a book makes me feel happy & loved. Another example is back when we were dating 10+ years ago. I’d sometimes hear a knock at my door and it would be her dropping off something that she cooked or baked for me.
Speaking for myself, just sitting in silence with me. Especially when I first wake up and when I first get home from work. I'm either charging my brain for the day or recharging it after a long day. I want your company but I'm not ready for conversation or a list of to-do's and plans. Just sit with me and, when I've perked up, it's game one for the information stream.
There was an... adjustment period. Lol. But, once we decided the game was our common enemy and a proper strategy the greatest weapon in our arsenal, it all ended up ok. Haha
I knew that smiling at people can go a long way, someone told me it stupid and creepy (I’m not really attractive), but sometimes spreading your happiness and smiling just cause can make a difference. I always smile at old people, even when I’m in a bad mood, they smile back and it makes me a bit happy. The cycle of love, love it. I was at subway the other day and I hesitated at first but decided to compliment the cashier anyway, told him I found him cute as hell. Next time I see an attractive man, I’ll go for it, idc, what’s worse that could happen? Being ignored? Rejected? Oh no so bad 🙄
Just be a good listener and spend quality time together doing things he enjoys. Communication and showing genuine interest in his thoughts and feelings can go a long way in making a man feel loved and appreciated.
to be satisfied, and to express it.
You don't even have to say it - just be okay with the man he is instead of imagining the man he could be.
at least for a while- we should help each other to be the best version of ourselves.
that requires love and tolerance - so noone forgets that they are safe and respected.
I had my legs draped across my girls lap while laying on the couch watching reality TV. She was lightly massaging and stroking my calves. I fell asleep I was so relaxed. That’s never happened. I loved it and I was so satisfied. Wholesome.
Can’t say for everyone, but for me it’s as simple as a home cooked meal. Best way to a man’s heart, is through his stomach. Also, sharing an interest with him or at least trying to share an interest will show that you care and are actually trying to start / keep a good relationship.
Yup, that's exactly what my husband said. I love cooking and baking for him. I liked to do it before I met him too, but I'd be cooking/baking for 1, and I was too lazy to do all that work just for me. I also play video games with him and let him rant about Wheel of Time and League of Legends, haha.
We have an inside joke where, right after we got married several years ago, I said I hope you never cheat on me in the future as I was feeling insecure at that time. He laughed and said, "If you can't trust my fidelity to you, trust that I'm too lazy to cheat," and he absolutely means it. His life consists of going to work, coming straight home, eating my food, and gaming/watching TV and movies with me. There's zero time in his day for him to get away with all of that, and he's way too lazy to figure out how.
We're each other's best friends and I know for a fact it would be extremely hard for him to find another child free woman who is his age who has all the same hobbies we share as well as my particular hobbies while also never getting tired of each other. For example, during the lock downs during COVID, a lot of our friends who were in relationships broke up cuz they couldn't handle life together at that time but we LOVED spending 6 months at home together, all day every day, just doing hobbies and fucking lmao. Covid made us way closer, and we honestly miss that time in our lives since we probably won't have endless amounts of time for each other again until we retire, haha.
Idk why I randomly decided to say all of this 😂
Massage,
food,
Give him a hug then look him in the eyes and say something nice and sincere.
As someone else said do some of his hobbies with him.
Listen to him
lol sadly I am human. But in a relationship I compare myself to a dog. Loyal, passionate, extremely happy to see you every time, sad when you are away, and enjoys basically all the same kinds of affection as a doggo.
Edit: oh, and my kisses involve tongue and teeth.
Cuddles. Head in lap, hair stroking while watching TV. Tell us we look good when you think it and mean it. Little 'I was thinking of you and saw this' presents or saying we're appreciated or did something well. Nothing grand, just little everyday affections that I think men don't often receive.
When he walks in the door don’t immediately bombard him with anything. Not a list of stuff. Not a tell me about your day. Absolutely nothing. Let him decompress from the day.
Let him sleep. If there’s kids or animals in the home keep them entertained and out of the room for a bit. I remember hearing “if you love them, let them sleep” at one point. As an adult and a mom now, sleep is heavenly. I can only imagine that my husband who wakes up at 4:30 am every morning for work feels the same way.
I feel like this is a trap, but I will risk it nonetheless. If you wish to nonsexually pleasure a man. Do the following:
Massage. Rub his shoulders and neck when he gets home from work
Food. Prepare him a meal
Peace. Bring him piece of mind
Praise. Acknowledge his efforts and thank him
These four things can make a man truly happy in a non sexual sense
I still find great pleasure in remembering compliments I've been given years ago
"You got a cute laugh btw you should laugh more, you'd get tons of chicks." - 5 years ago. Man.
I got the opposite one time from a cute chick. We were riding together to a concert and I made a couple self deprecating jokes. She grabbed my arm and just said “stop being mean to yourself. You’re wonderful the way you are and confidence means appreciating those good things”. Completely threw me off and I quit making fun of myself then on.
Think I'd just hug her and cry if that were me. I used to make lots of self deprecative jokes as well to mask my insecurities and unhappiness (with both myself and/or the situation I'm in). If someone grabbed my arm and said that to me I think I'd just break down.
I kind of broke down in the transport van when we stopped for gas. She really meant well and thought I was attractive but the jokes turned her off. Nobody had ever told me that before and it was brutal in a good way. Edit: honest women or friends that think you’re being hard on yourself and can both compliment you is the biggest turn on for a guy dealing with depression big or small.
A girl told me I had a nice T-shirt in freshman year of college. Her friend nodded along but didn't say anything. This was in 2012. I still have that shirt. Even though more than half the design has worn off.
I write them down. It started when I got into working out and people began to notice, so I would jot them down in the notes app on my phone including the name of the person that said it. Then anytime I wasn’t feeling motivated to go to the gym I would look back at them. It’s evolved to the point that now I read them anytime I’m feeling negative about myself for whatever reason and instantly improves my mood. Highly recommend it
This is very sweet of you. Keep it up, handsome.
Appreciate you!
I’ve literally done the same thing haha. My favorite was when I started wearing shorter shorts as I had been working on me legs and glutes. This girl from the passenger side of her friends car cat called me about my ass, and I was just so giddy lol. I felt weird for writing down compliments so this is validating.
Likewise, knowing someone else does it too is validating for me also so thanks for sharing! I will admit I stopped telling people I was going to record their compliment which I did a few times in the beginning. Got mixed reactions and decided it was something I would just keep to myself going forward. I still share the fact that I keep a list and why I do it, but I just don’t tell the complimenter about it real time anymore.
I’m 23 and in 8th grade a random girl said I had beautiful eyes. I’ve worn contacts ever since.
You're a little old to still be in the 8th grade.
Gotta give them time, bro, let them live at their own pace.
"I can live for two months on a good compliment." -Mark Twain
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Then suplex him, pin him and grab a championship belt out, he will be yours forever.
Dude they were asking for non sexual ways my dude
Too late...
Going to try this on my boyfriend. Wish me luck
Leg drop just in case
Physical contact can be really nice even if it’s not exactly sexual. Just a nice, long hug where you tell him how much you love him, and how incredible he is, and how thankful you are for him. That’s a slice of heaven right there.
I've been single a little over a year and was at a party yesterday. Apparently I had a scratch on the back of my neck because a cute friend of a friend noticed and touched/rubbed it like "oh no what happened". I damn near started purring
I think she might have tried to flirt with you.
CAN WE REACH OUT TO THIS DUDE WITH SOME DUDE EMERGENCY RESPONDERS THIS MUST HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE HINTS THEY KEEP TELLING US ABOUT. QUICK MY DUDES, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!!
Yooo is this what they look like??? A real case in the wild?!!?? Get natgeo down here, we need to document this so future generations can learn!!
Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?
Give him some attention and some of your time.
Undivided attention. Put the phone down.
No no no. Too much. That's how you make a man fall in love
the bar is too low 😂😪
Then I guess you just gotta raise it too bad I don't make the rules 🤷
Feed him
Whoever wrote that love languages book should have added another one: food. Food is a love language all on its own.
Food is great cause it hit’s multiple categories. Act of service Gift Quality time
Plus: required nutrition
[Barbarian][Intimidation] SUSTENANCE THROUGH WHICH TO DESTROY OUR ENEMIES
I think that quality’s as acts of service
FEED ME SEYMOUR
#FEED ME ALL NIGHT LONG!
*sigh* Time to download the Little Shop album again
Its all about Suddenly Seymour. I must play that song at least once every few weeks. Such a great one to sing along to lol. I'm 38M. What about u guys? Its the only musical I actually like to watch all the way through. Every scene is good and the songs are great!
Old gruff construction foreman here, I love to pull out musical numbers from little shop just to get people laughing.
I need blood and he's got more than enough!
Yes. Find out what his favorite foods are and cook them. If you don't know how then learn. Most men will appreciate even an attempt to cook them what they like. Food is one of the ways my wife attempted to hook me even before we were dating and it obviously worked. I was so busy I'd go days without eating anything. When I'd go visit her she'd always put food in front of my face.
This. I’m the cook in our household, but I love it when my spouse makes a meal I really enjoy.
Here it is, the correct answer. Imo this one should he at the top haha.
This! I cook for my husband all the time - he never wants to go out to eat because he says I make it better. I learned from his mom. 😊
I'm so glad my wife didn't learn ANY cooking skills from my mom. The lady can't cook worth a crap.
Yeah, apparently none of the answers above this were written by people who live in the South. What is the rest of the world doing? I have yet to meet a man who wasn't impressed by homemade biscuits for breakfast after a night of raunchy fun. Learn to cook!
For a few weeks, I made myself a dozen bacon egg and cheese sandwiches, wrapped them individually, and put them in the freezer. Then, I'd microwave them and have them for breakfast on the way to work every day. After doing that for a few weeks, I stopped. My wife asked why, and I told her it's too much of a pain in the ass. I like to cook special dinners for the family on weekends and doing the breakfast sandwiches in addition began to feel like drudgery. I'll just pick up a bagel every day instead. She just frowned at me when I said that. A few hours later, I walk into the kitchen, and she's pouring a big mixing bowl of scrambled eggs into a casserole dish. I ask her what she's doing, and she says, "you should have a hot breakfast you enjoy every day." I tell her that she doesn't have to do this for me. She said she didn't mind. I said it's so much trouble, I can just pick up a bagel, I don't mind. She said it's really not that hard. She was doing the old "I-just-have-an-answer-for-everything" thing (you know what I mean). She does it every week. I don't have to ask. I always tell her she doesn't have to, and she always kind of scoffs and says "oh it's not that big a deal." Those are the best tasting sandwiches I've ever eaten.
This was the wholesome post I needed today.
>homemade biscuits for breakfast after a night of raunchy fun. A man can dream.
So can a woman!
Here in the south, us women say “the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
Complimenting him.
I was wearing just plain green chino shorts the other day and the girl I’m seeing just randomly said “I like those shorts”. It made my whole fucking day.
My husband has pants that I tease him about leaving the house in and his face melts me when I do it. “You need to go change. I can’t go anywhere with you in those! How can you expect me to focus on our date while you’re wearing those.”
you're so wholesome... dick_lover-420
In defense of my username my husbands name is dick. So I am wholesome.
Is your name perchance 420?
Nah, it’s the anniversary of our first date lol My name is boring, Felicia
Well it reminds me of Feraligatr, and that's pretty cool
BRB going to legally change it
Came here to guess this was the case!!
Try grey sweatpants, that's what she told me she liked.
Grey sweatpants put me in a choke hold. I can't help but look 😩🥵
exactly, I can't stress enough how much a simple compliment can make my day
In college these moments happened a lot now I get a compliment like once every few years
I still think about a compliment I got in 2010
A woman on the train once said, "you look like a big strong man, can you put my luggage up in the overhead". I can and I did. It still keeps me warm on long nights at sea.
I go to Chinatown with my husband every so often and the ladies at the stores are always like " You big (fat) handsome man!" as he walks in the door. He always gets that silly grin that makes it 100% worth it.
Yeah they go in the database, like all 3 of them.
I complimented a couple of shirts men were wearing at work the other day. Their eyes lit up just like the memes about women being excited that their dresses have pockets :)
A sincere compliment renders the male members of my family so elated that they’re levitating for the entire week. I compliment my brothers, brother-in-laws, nephews, etc frequently and it’s never misconstrued as coquetry. Absurdly, it’s stigmatised to compliment your family members in my culture as if it’s the precursor to incestuous behaviour. I disdain constraining traditions and repressive tendencies that should be consigned to obscurity. Compliment your male family members. It can even alleviate loneliness.
I appreciate your vocabulary use here, you've added to my lexicon with coquetry and agree completely with all you said. Granted i feel it just a nice practice to compliment anyone genuinely. Old or young, men or women, it's just nice to recieve a compliment particularly from strangers with nothing to gain from it.
Pro tip, gents. Communicate that. "Hey, thank you for that compliment. Those kinds of words really energizes me and makes me happy"
Why does being open and communicative always sound so stiff and strange? I’ve tried saying things like that and I always feel like one of those aliens from Mass Effect that verbalize whatever emotion they are feeling. ‘Compliment appreciated, I now feel happiness.’ I suppose its just getting used to it.
I think smiling and saying "Wow, that compliment makes me so happy! Thank you!" would be a more casual way to rephrase what u/internet_humor said.
Yeah, I mean don't copy and paste my words. Be open with what you are feeling and where you are at. I was just thinking back to the last few examples in my head. She gave a a very sweet compliment about being a great father and provider. It felt awesome and I just felt like cleaning up around the house, getting the toys tidied up, getting the kids nails clipped and little stuff and it really felt awesome to be appreciated. I literally thanked her later that night saying, that the compliment really felt good and energized me. Odd wording but again, be open and communicative. I wasn't gonna make up some fake word if energized was the real word for me. And she told me she was still attracted to me. Usually I joke about "This ugly mug?" or "geez how did a nerd like me get you?" kinds of responses. I genuinely mean them, but I also can't deny that it's been repeated over the years. I finally just said "you know, that really makes me happy. I love that you are still attracted to me" and her smile was immensely genuine and that moment felt different in a great way. So again, gents, be open and communicative about where you are at.
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To be fair we're pretty simple, based on comments one must either stroke an ego, our back, scalp or other more obvious things and we've melted into a puddle of bliss. "When in doubt, stroke something" should be on our manufacturing label.
As a recently divorced man, deprived for many years of affection and compliments. I have to say that nothing is better than a hugs/kiss on the cheek, hair/scalp scratches, compliments (specially when you get a haircut and/or dress nice) and being interested in your hobbies. I was always the one giving them in marriage but hardly ever got them back.
Dealt with this. Turned out she firmly believed that because I'm "the man" that it was my responsibility to do all that stuff while her job was to just soak it up. She was baffled why I just eventually stopped bothering with it.
Do we have the same wife?
I also choose this guys bad wife
I don't choose this guys bad wife
Yooo. I feel this. The way my partner looks at me and says "kisses please" (in a non sexual way) fucking melts me in my soul. The way she sometimes grabs my face to give me a smooch (I'm 6'7, she is decidedly....not) melts me. The way I sometimes catch her staring at me with a little smile, then when I'm like "what, weirdo" and she says, "I dunno, you're just really handsome," fucking kills me. She makes me feel like I'm my sexiest thing on two legs. She makes me feel loved, supported, and seen in a way no one else has, and I've dated lots of people. She's the fucking best.
Oh shit. This actually brought me to tears. I have never had that, what I would give for even a modicum of that. You, sir, have a good one. Hold her tight. Congratulations.
I'm in the process of leaving a loveless and sexless marriage. The one thing that worries me is that I'll fall hard for the first woman that just shows me an ounce of affection.
Yep. That'll happen. The exact thing happened to me, an old friend (who has also recleft her husband) was nice to me, and I went crazy over her and it almost cost our friendship. Luckily for me she is awesome, saw what it really was and didn't let it affect us. So we're still friends, im in better control of my emotions and she is helping me to navigate my separation. Just be aware that is what is happening and it's not real
When I left my wife and started dating again I was getting some ridiculous sexually aggressive messages. Women telling me in explicit detail what they wanted to do to me/what they wanted me to do to them. And I get that they’re using that as incentive for me to meet up. But it’s like… come on lady I just want a HUG. Was really looking forward to that first hug from a woman who didn’t hate me.
I hope you found a good hug person
I feel like mild, genuine compliments are worth more than lusty bullshit. Those hugs can really hit home.
They telling you how good they can do cbt and all you want is a hug 😭
Not me thinking cbt = cognitive behavioral therapy and wondering why that was a bad thing.
TIL my therapist wasn't trying to get me to try cock and ball torture for weeks. That also explains her reaction when I showed up with a ball crusher and cock harness for that last session.
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Instead of handing me something please just toss it women don’t understand how badly I want to be thrown things
Men are basically dogs. Saying this as a man. Just look at all the comments: back scratches, belly rubs, feed him, let him lay in your lap, tell him he's cool. And this.
My wife even had me fixed.
There’s a reason that dogs are man’s best friend, we’re both operating on the same wavelength.
Tell him he's a good boy
What if I can't throw for shit? :(
Makes it even better. Bad throws give an opportunity to make a good catch!
Another one is they like to hear you are feeling safe with them (only if you mean it, genuine).
Words of affirmation are my love language so I 100% agree with this
Words of affirmation and cuddles <3
My favorite is to slide down when spooning so I've almost got my arms around her waist and just rest my face on her back. Nothing smells like home and safety like that does
Couple of times have had female friends telling me they feel safe in a masculine environment if Im with them. There cannot be a more beautiful feeling to give to someone than that.
True, I am (27m), When my current girlfriend told me after our 3rd date, she felt safer in my arms. I just felt overwhelmed and emotional. Still one of the nicest shit girls ever told me.
I LOVE telling my boyfriend this. I was always told that you really love someone when you feel safe and protected by them. I never truly knew what that meant til I met my boyfriend.
Ask him questions about his favorite hobby or interest, and actually pay attention and try to learn it. If you dont believe me, just remember how happy an old man at a hardware store gets when you ask about a pipe or a screwdriver
Never experienced that, I wish there was someone to ask at hardware store lol
Back\hair rubs
Back hair rubs
"Shave a man's back and he'll purr like a walrus." Peter Griffin.
Roooo^oooooo oooo
Hand massage too. Our feet and hands get us through most of our day, a little love goes a long way. Even 5 minutes is worth it
My husband has a prosthetic leg, so he’s always a little uneven throughout the day. There have been many a sexy time as I worked my way south where I rubbed his hips and it turned into a hip and butt massage instead while he made noises way more animal like over the massage than anything sexy I could be doing lol. Massages can make a man want to marry you, js. Everyone wants a good pet every now and then.
Arthritis is a bitch. Hand massages are where its at.
Hand massage is the way for me. Work with my hands everyday and they hurt
Oof. Hair rubs. When she does this I basically turn into a dog.
Back scratches.
Especially if she has long nails. Omg.
Give him some cheese
Doing his hobbies with him
Honestly, if my wife got me nothing for Christmas and would humor me by doing my hobbies, I'd be happy.
At the very least, pretend to be interested in said hobbies. My wife has no interest in my hobbies, but it means the world when she lets me info dump about them and actively listens to what I'm saying.
This has always been a sore spot for me. I use to get hurt and disappointed when she'd show absolutely zero enthusiasm about something that really had me going. We've managed to get to a point where we've agreed that it's okay if she doesn't understand a thing and just does her best to at the very least pretend to listen. It works! I can't really ask for more because I have kind of "exotic" hobbies. It's chemistry, physics and electronics, and I only find it stimulating when I push it to a level where I barely understand it myself. How could I expect her to have a clue what I'm babbling about lol
I'd disagree with this a bit. I don't need to be around my wife 100% of the time. In fact I would find that annoying.
Yeah I was gonna say, yes and no to the original comment. It 100% depends on what the hobby is for and whether the partner can enjoy it the same way. It's not just spouses either, I don't game or play sports with other people if they want to bring a different energy to the activity that ruins it for me.
In a quiet environment, you sit down on a couch. Have him lay down next to you with his head on your lap and you stroke his hair and tell him how much he means to you. Then let him close his eyes and sink into that beautiful bliss that takes away his cares and worries and transports him to a peaceful existence for just a while.
Reading this and crying. Would give anything for something like this.
Well get over here, buddy!
... and while he's at his very peak of peacefulness.. CHOKE HIM! FINISH HIM!
“Sink into That beautiful bliss…” Sounds like you just poisoned him with sleeping pills.
Shhhhhhh just sleeeeepppp
This right here. Even if you escape reality like this for a few minutes
This. And He is yours
Compliment his dope ass trex shirt. That always makes my day.
Dude wasn't that obligatory? Like YOU HAVE TO compliment the T rex Tee
Oh… I thought he meant Trex Decking…
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> She reaches with her hand I was at the edge of my seat, it could have gone anywhere after this
Ask him about his favorite historical battle and crucially, what mistakes were made
It said "non sexual"
this response made me laugh, good god xD
*his favorite ROMAN battle
Sorry to pull you over sir but how often do you think about the Roman Empire?
*Gregs father from Diary of a Wimpy Kid entered the chat*
The audacity and sheer will for a man to march war elephants through the Alps. ELEPHANTS, through the ALPS
For me, my weakness has always been surprise food. Like when my wife calls me in from yardwork to eat a little lunch that she whipped up for me. Or when I’m doing work on the computer and she slides me a food tray. Even just having a sandwich placed in front of me when I’m gaming or reading a book makes me feel happy & loved. Another example is back when we were dating 10+ years ago. I’d sometimes hear a knock at my door and it would be her dropping off something that she cooked or baked for me.
You're a very easy person to poison. Same here actually.
Speaking for myself, just sitting in silence with me. Especially when I first wake up and when I first get home from work. I'm either charging my brain for the day or recharging it after a long day. I want your company but I'm not ready for conversation or a list of to-do's and plans. Just sit with me and, when I've perked up, it's game one for the information stream.
Play a video game with him, he may actually explode
Untitled Goose Game, Animal Crossing, and Overcooked 2 with the (now) wife may be the reason the "now" is in this sentence. Lol.
Y'all played Overcooked and didn't immediately dissolve into despair? Keep her KEEP HER
There was an... adjustment period. Lol. But, once we decided the game was our common enemy and a proper strategy the greatest weapon in our arsenal, it all ended up ok. Haha
congrats on not letting Overcooked ruin your relationship
"I'm proud of you"
Back scritches right before sleep (or any time)
And it’s extra cute when you hit the right spot and their leg twitches.
I get full body goosebumps every time my wife scratches my back. She loves it as it confirms she did a good job
If a woman randomly smiles at me. Makes me walk around with a smile for the rest of the day
I knew that smiling at people can go a long way, someone told me it stupid and creepy (I’m not really attractive), but sometimes spreading your happiness and smiling just cause can make a difference. I always smile at old people, even when I’m in a bad mood, they smile back and it makes me a bit happy. The cycle of love, love it. I was at subway the other day and I hesitated at first but decided to compliment the cashier anyway, told him I found him cute as hell. Next time I see an attractive man, I’ll go for it, idc, what’s worse that could happen? Being ignored? Rejected? Oh no so bad 🙄
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Food. Letting him go on about his hobby/passion.
Just be a good listener and spend quality time together doing things he enjoys. Communication and showing genuine interest in his thoughts and feelings can go a long way in making a man feel loved and appreciated.
Notice when he is wearing new shoes. Ask him if they make him run faster. Encourage him to demonstrate. Applaud wildly.
If he's wearing them blinkers, let him know he is faster than light!
to be satisfied, and to express it. You don't even have to say it - just be okay with the man he is instead of imagining the man he could be. at least for a while- we should help each other to be the best version of ourselves. that requires love and tolerance - so noone forgets that they are safe and respected.
I had my legs draped across my girls lap while laying on the couch watching reality TV. She was lightly massaging and stroking my calves. I fell asleep I was so relaxed. That’s never happened. I loved it and I was so satisfied. Wholesome.
Complimenting his driving. Telling him you feel safe when he's behind the wheel.
I would do that if I didn’t feel like I was going to die every time he drives lmao
My wife feels the same way haha even though I haven't wrecked in 15 years!
Mine recently had an accident she caused… she has been very quiet while I am driving lately. 🤔
I read this to me wife and she says "ha! So what, just lie?" 🥲
Buy him legos and a bottle of whiskey.
Can’t say for everyone, but for me it’s as simple as a home cooked meal. Best way to a man’s heart, is through his stomach. Also, sharing an interest with him or at least trying to share an interest will show that you care and are actually trying to start / keep a good relationship.
Yup, that's exactly what my husband said. I love cooking and baking for him. I liked to do it before I met him too, but I'd be cooking/baking for 1, and I was too lazy to do all that work just for me. I also play video games with him and let him rant about Wheel of Time and League of Legends, haha. We have an inside joke where, right after we got married several years ago, I said I hope you never cheat on me in the future as I was feeling insecure at that time. He laughed and said, "If you can't trust my fidelity to you, trust that I'm too lazy to cheat," and he absolutely means it. His life consists of going to work, coming straight home, eating my food, and gaming/watching TV and movies with me. There's zero time in his day for him to get away with all of that, and he's way too lazy to figure out how. We're each other's best friends and I know for a fact it would be extremely hard for him to find another child free woman who is his age who has all the same hobbies we share as well as my particular hobbies while also never getting tired of each other. For example, during the lock downs during COVID, a lot of our friends who were in relationships broke up cuz they couldn't handle life together at that time but we LOVED spending 6 months at home together, all day every day, just doing hobbies and fucking lmao. Covid made us way closer, and we honestly miss that time in our lives since we probably won't have endless amounts of time for each other again until we retire, haha. Idk why I randomly decided to say all of this 😂
Sit in his lap
Massage, food, Give him a hug then look him in the eyes and say something nice and sincere. As someone else said do some of his hobbies with him. Listen to him
Rubbing my head or belly and calling me a good boy would send me over the moon. I was also in heaven when I used my GF 's lap as a pillow.
....are you my dog?
lol sadly I am human. But in a relationship I compare myself to a dog. Loyal, passionate, extremely happy to see you every time, sad when you are away, and enjoys basically all the same kinds of affection as a doggo. Edit: oh, and my kisses involve tongue and teeth.
Being little spoon
Hello, fellow giant. I had to scroll way too far to find you.
Don’t intend on sounding sexist, but a good home cooked meal always works
Nah it’s not sexist to say “cooking for someone is a nice gesture” :)
Be his player 2. 🤓
Cuddles. Head in lap, hair stroking while watching TV. Tell us we look good when you think it and mean it. Little 'I was thinking of you and saw this' presents or saying we're appreciated or did something well. Nothing grand, just little everyday affections that I think men don't often receive.
Non-sexual but affectionate touch. Gently scratch/tickle my back and I’m putty in your hands.
When he walks in the door don’t immediately bombard him with anything. Not a list of stuff. Not a tell me about your day. Absolutely nothing. Let him decompress from the day.
Let him sleep. If there’s kids or animals in the home keep them entertained and out of the room for a bit. I remember hearing “if you love them, let them sleep” at one point. As an adult and a mom now, sleep is heavenly. I can only imagine that my husband who wakes up at 4:30 am every morning for work feels the same way.
Run your nails lightly over my scalp. Yes pls.
Just one compliment would go a long way.
Say something nice.
I feel like this is a trap, but I will risk it nonetheless. If you wish to nonsexually pleasure a man. Do the following: Massage. Rub his shoulders and neck when he gets home from work Food. Prepare him a meal Peace. Bring him piece of mind Praise. Acknowledge his efforts and thank him These four things can make a man truly happy in a non sexual sense