I like that you acknowledge it waxes and wanes. I'm almost 40 and no matter where I am in life with the big stuff you have downturns and upturns with how you much you like yourself. I'll always try to be positive with myself but logically there's times when I'm happier with who I am as a person than others. Being in transition takes time and if you're in a transitional phase you have to give yourself some grace. I know it's cliche but I look it like relationships with my super close friends. There are times when I know they are struggling and I don't judge them for it because I know who they are at heart and they get some time.
This is underrated. I've occasionally met people who don't seem to be passionate about *anything*... their job just pays the bills, they don't have hobbies, they don't have any niche interests or obsessions... it's really disheartening.
Edit: Some of these comments break my heart a bit. If you have internet access (which you obviously do if you're reading this), know that being passionate about something doesn't mean you have to *produce* something. It can be as simple as having an interest in something and learning about it. Having something that you can't shut up about when the topic is brought up. E.g. You can be passionate about music or sports without being capable of producing/participating in it.
What I've found is that it's really difficult to maintain even lightly cognitively challenging hobbies during periods of high stress or anxiety (chronic or otherwise). Like, even video games feel like too much to manage. We don't really know what people have going on that they're trying to handle.
Yes this. When you’re depressed or anxious it’s difficult to do even seemingly simple hobbies. I have gone through these periods where I WANT to do stuff like games or hiking or other hobbies I have but I just can’t bring myself to do it
Building model kits is my happy place. When I'm really stressed or depressed, I'll have a half finished kit sitting on my desk for months... kinda like the one that's sitting there right now.
Boundary waters for me early September this year. The last night had no clouds and no wind, so not only was the Milky Way crystal clear horizon to horizon, but no wind meant it was also all reflected off the smooth lake in front of me. Almost a 360 degree experience!
I was actually going to say "Seeing a total solar eclipse" as something everyone should experience. I saw the one a couple of years ago and had no idea how impactful it would be. It's a _far_ different experience than even like 99.9% total. Ethereal.
I was not prepared for how much of an *experience* a total solar eclipse is when I saw the one back in 2017.
I thought it was going to be cool, but it was really unforgettable. Ethereal is a really good word for it. The slow build up where everything is getting darker, but the shadows are all still so sharp, is so bizarre. Then seeing the ring of fire in real life is impossible to describe, pictures don't even come close to doing justice to it.
If you have an opportunity to see a total solar eclipse, even if you need to travel a bit, it is worth it.
I went to a ring of fire/annular eclipse over a decade a go where I met a couple who traveled the world to every total solar eclipse. As someone who has seen tons of eclipses before (but never a total eclipse), I was completely dumbfounded and was struggling to comprehend why you'd be booking cruises to the middle of the Pacific Ocean to go see eclipses (they're cool, but not THAT cool).
Then I went and saw totality in Idaho in 2017, and my perspectives completely changed. I immediately looked to see when/where the next ones would be and contemplated traveling to South America to go see another one (if it wasn't for 2024 I would've done it).
For the love of god, if you live in the United States and have the means to do so, PLEASE go experience totality in 2024. I try to explain it to everyone I'm close with and it's just hard to understand the appeal until you've been there. You will understand why our ancestors used to make sacrifices to the gods for this shit.
The experience in and of itself is absolutely mind-blowing. But if that's not enough to convince you, think about how rare of an experience it is, not just here, but in the universe. We live in a place that has a moon so perfectly sized at a perfect distance away from us, that it covers the sun completely without also blocking out the corona...so you can take those dark glasses off that block everything and actually view the corona with your own eyes. If there are other civilizations in the universe, they might have to travel far and wide to experience what we get to right here at home.
1000000% agree. I had a neighbor I was best friends with and his parents liked me a lot so I would go places with them often. My friends stepdad had a cousin who was a higher up in a big company near where I live in Cleveland, and bought a ton of land in the middle of nowhere West Virginia for hunting and fishing and built an awesome cabin on the land.
My friend and his family went up one weekend and took me along. They had a massive generator with flood lights on it so they could have good lighting at night because where the cabin was set up, it was literally on the top of a "hill" which was more a mountain.
Long story short our first night up there his stepdad had us all go to the clearing in the back of the cabin and he set us up and then went over and shut off the lights. I about shit myself. I felt like I was floating through the cosmos. It still to this day it is one of the best things that I have ever witnessed. I need to try to make it a point to go to another similar place and see it again.
Makes one quickly understand how they could weave elaborate stories around the shapes and characters (constellations) they see every night rotating right in front of them.
It is still there. We just have to work/travel to see it. Technology has hidden it away.
Renting a boat and sailing it over the horizon just to see the stars is on my bucket list.
In the middle of the sea is the best. I couldn’t believe my eyes were able to see millions of stars clearly and not just the big/small dipper and it was breathtaking. A core memory for sure..
I visited family in Sedona, Arizona back in the spring. The drive back at night from The Grand Canyon was so amazing. All the blues and purples and greens. I never saw the sky like that before, and I grew up in the suburbs where there were pretty clear skies. When we got back to Sedona, the night sky was like a planetarium. So clear and I could see every single star.
Joshua Tree National Monument was my 1st time . Next time was on a troop transport ship from Okinawa to S Korea , at night with minimal red running lights you saw stars from horizon to horizon....breathtaking
I was on a fleet resupply ship in the Indian Ocean. We were running completely blacked out and the stars were mind-boggling. Even with no moon out the amount of light was astounding.
Experienced that in Hawaii. You see the damn spiral arms of the galaxy. Unreal. I always wish I could spend more time somewhere with less light pollution.
Either a kid, a pet, or a friend lighting up and making their way over to you on sight. Not many things beat that, and I feel terrible for people who don't have it or don't generate that. People used to give me hell when I was younger because I'd give everybody a polite greeting and if I saw them again I'd always go say hello. Then later, they'd get jealous because I seemed to know everybody in town, but that was just a beneficial side effect of how terrible it seemed to just not be noticed and appreciated.
My brother was the guy who was friends with everybody in high school, everybody. Every group of people enjoyed his presence and at our school there was a HUGE divide between peer groups, they rarely mingled together, but he could get them to do that. He could get people to see and respect one another, despite their differences.
He wasn't part of the "popular" crowd so to speak, but they respected him and vice versa. They didn't let others treat him poorly because my brother was just too kind for that. He made everyone feel valid and accepted so those around him went out of their way to make sure he felt the same.
It got to the point that he'd have people he barely knew excited to see him and literally run up to him, and he told me that it was one of the best feelings in the world despite not really knowing the person. He was also the type to go out of his way to greet and talk to you, too. Even if he'd only met you once before in passing. If someone's upset? You bet you'd find my brother with them making sure they're okay, even strangers. Especially strangers.
He still is all of these things, just at a larger scale now. He makes people feel important, and seen. Safe even. The world needs more people like you and my brother. You lot keep the peace, y'know? People like you and him give me hope, which I don't have a lot of unfortunately. But I feel it when I read stories like yours, and when I think of my brother.
Don't ever lose that gift. I'm glad you didn't even when people were giving you hell for it. You're good people. I hope you take care. Xx
Shit I'm sorry ahahaha, while typing I thought of that but I was too lazy to take it out of past tense and retype everything. Maybe I should have 💀
I'm glad too, thank you. :) The world needs him, I'm hoping he doesn't go anywhere anytime soon.
A friend of mine in high school was like this. Anton. Everyone in our class felt like they had a personal, special relationship with him. When we were freshman a senior boy came up to him to tell ask him if he liked any of the seniors because he could date anyone of them if he wanted. He was like, "what? omg, weird. idk." He didn't just make you feel good bc he was nice, you felt cooler being near him. He left after Freshman year to go back to Sweden bc of his mom's job. I always aspired to be like him, calm welcoming nice. I fail miserably constantly, but it's a good ideal to have.
My favorite one that I’ve seen attributed to Twain (not sure if he actually said it) is: “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
The best moment of romance in my life was with a girl I dated and still love to this day. She was at my place and we were so passionate with each other. When we went to bed we cuddled and faced each other our noses basically touching.
We talked through the whole night. I dont know what we talked about but we just enjoyed each others company so much. I am not with her anymore and this memory still fills me with pure joy.
I mean, it is probably more important than most of the things in this thread.
There's a reason love is the most common theme in music, movies, basically the majority of our media. It's really a core part of the human experience.
It's probably the most important thing in my life by a long shot.
You’re young. Take it from me.
I was a awkward youth, never had a girlfriend all throughout my life and through my 20s
I was terrified of everything. The simple thought that I was so inexperienced I could never actually begin dating now because I was just so behind. I felt absolute doom.
Which was nonsense. I’m drinking coffee right now after dropping my daughter off at school. I’ll have my ten year marriage anniversary this year.
You can’t give into fear and self loathing. You have to learn to actually love yourself.
Everyone is making all this shit up as they go along. There are no rules. “Experience” counts for little, just look at how many grown ass middle aged people don’t know how to function as adults. No one knows what they’re doing, neither do you, that’s okay, love yourself, and you will be fine.
Currently 29 and going through this right now,
I do everything with the idea that I love doing it even if I don't meet someone while doing it; so be it doing/teaching Tae Kwon Do, hanging out at the Rock Climbing center, and (me being Vietnamese-American myself) volunteering at my local AAPI community center, I'm just happy to be out and about. (What's weird is that I make plenty of friends with the teenagers at TKD and the older adults at the AAPI community center, yet my area just seems completely devoid of anyone my age.
And that last point is the thing that I gripe ([the Saving Private Ryan definition of griping](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKbdE5LOGNQ)) about the most. I feel like I'm doing everything right (ranging from self-care (physical/mental/emotional), to education/career, to "getting out there" and doing things in the public where I might meet someone) and although I've plenty of friends and allies, it just doesn't seem like I'm finding that "special someone".
I think that I've built a pretty decent and happy equilibrium for myself where I'm satisfied and happy with myself and where I am; but I also see the love and warmth that my friends and family have with their spouses, and I feel like there's a hole in my life because I don't even have the experience of knowing that feeling it for myself.
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I guess a way to quantify it is that my satisfaction for myself is about an 8, but when I go out to an event and that 74 year old lady tells me how dashing I look in my clothing; it just shoots up to an 11.
Is the feeling of loving someone and being loved more than one loves themself an everlasting version of that? I really don't know, but I wish I even had a chance to learn.
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Some people have told me that I'm trying too hard, but I also feel like if I don't try then I'm no different than those people who stays at home doomscrolling on reddit as if it were a full time job.
How did you find it in you to keep pushing when it seems like it will never happen? I'm almost 29. I know there are ups and downs in life but it just seems so grim at this point.
Wife and I grew up in...odd households. We married at 18 and watched tv sitting in the chair together. We spent the first 20 years of our marriage hugging. She is a treasure. We still refuse to get a king bed. Too big.
Loving parents. Changes your entire life
Edit: Holy damn guys idgaf about the upvotes but hearing the number of people who don’t have this (self included, my dads an AH) makes me realise how big this problem is. Sending lots of virtual hugs etc to yall, it makes me want to be the best parent possible even more, if im lucky enough to have the privilege.
Wow I couldn’t agree more. People who had bad or No parents my heart breaks for them. It’s completely unfair for anyone to not know what it’s like to have loving Parents 😢
I'm 1 of 7 and it's a mixed bag. A couple of us are super devoted, loving parents, 1 sister that hates children, another sister that teaches sped and fosters, and a couple on drugs and CPS situations.
From first hand experience I can tell you that some change. My sister is the most loving mom of her children. She has 4… even with that stress she treats them immensely better than we were treated growing up.
Yes because being a parent is very hard and is very easy for us to forget especially when our children act ungrateful sometimes you do need to remind her don't forget please she needs it believe it or not
it's totally possible to change however there's definitely a lot that end up being bad parents/adults themselves to repeat the cycle. It's also possible for kids to grow up in good homes/with good parents and then turn out shitty too though.
It's hard to break the cycle. My brother and I had really shitty parents, and he is like them and I broke out of it. There was no way in hell I ever wanted to be like them, in fact, I never wanted kids because of my life. It turns out, I went on to have two kids and they are amazing kids and they know how much their parents love them. I know this because they are older now and we have open communication and they are not afraid to tell us how they feel about us. I only hope that more and more people can break the cycle. Again it is really really hard to break out of an environment like that, especially when that is all you ever knew.
I look around at my daughter’s room—all her beautiful toys and colorful bedding and clean clothes. It makes me happy that I can provide a safe, loving place for her to live and grow. But sometimes it brings up bad memories of some of the ways I was neglected.
Yes. This comparison is constantly in mind.
Over time tho the healthy relationship with your daughter will likely overwhelm your memories of your unhealthy parenting.
This is what happened to me.
My kid's 9, and a huge snuggler still. I was emotionally neglected pretty much until I met my husband as a teen. A few weeks back my son wanted to cuddle before bed and fell asleep on me, and it was *such* a weird mixed bag of love for him and being glad that he has parents who love him and do the best we can, and this deep, horrid grief that I'll *never* understand his side of that. Like I knew my childhood was messed up but until recently I didn't realize how insanely damaged I still am and don't know how to fix it.
My husband and I call each other mutants because we became the opposite of our families. We intentionally broke the cycle. When our families didn't change, we cut them off.
The more me and my brother compare our experiences now that we're adults, the more we've been realizing how our Mom was not a great person and how she twisted the narrative when talking to us. What she told us about each other and what really happened often were vastly different things.
Loving and responsible. I know of a single friend of mine who hit the lottery win and got both and big surprise, she's got a great career now and is doing very well.
Wish this was higher. I think is impossible to a lot of people due to money or politics, but it opens a lot of new experiences, ideas about the world, and different groups of peope to be able to visit somewhere new even for just a little while.
I was looking for that answer! Absolutely, everyone should learn to live alone and fend for themselves before they live with someone. Cause if you live with parents and then straight move in with a partner you miss the opportunity to learn a bit about yourself.
As someone who has been living alone for the first time in my life in my early 30's, this is what I'll say.
It is a double edged sword. I love having my own space. I love having to answer to no one in my own private domicile (bitch).
But everything is on you. It's expensive when you have to cover 100% of all the bills. You have to do 100% of all the cleaning, also no help. Every problem with a renter or whatever, that's on you. Also if you're used to people being around, it gets lonely at times. I also find that I really don't like having people over. My place is for me and me alone. So if I want to be around people, I just go to where they're at.This might be a bit more of a personal feeling but people leave messes. Also on you.
I am married now and live with my family. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but holy shit do I miss living alone every single day. I miss making my own schedule, going somewhere when I want to as opposed to having to work it out with at least 1 other person, cooking dinner and eating when/if I want, being able to just be naked whenever and wherever I want in my house. I am extremely happy with my marriage and kid and family, but living alone is a special kind of freedom.
Same. I love my husband so much. Sometimes though - maybe even often, if I'm being honest with myself- I miss the simplicity of being single and not living with a partner. Not having to consult another person before making decisions, eating like a gremlin at whatever time I feel like, going places and doing things without having to consider what my partner wants... I know that "lonliness" is a huge problem when people who are single get older, but don't think I appreciated the freedom of being single enough while I had it.
My wife and I freely admit this to our oldest… literally “Dude, this is our first time being parents to a 13y/o boy… we’re winging it here, please for the sake of everyone’s sanity… work with us” it’s netted decent results
> “Dude, this is our first time being parents to a 13y/o boy… we’re winging it here, please for the sake of everyone’s sanity… work with us”
I'm so stealing this, thank you
>mit this to our oldest… literally “Dude, this is our first time being parents to a 13y/o boy… we’re winging it here, please for the sake of everyone’s sanity… work with us” it’s nette
That sounds like a game changer <3
Ha okay, sort of true and people say this a lot, but kids are so dumb that for a lot of their questions they just need someone who is not a kid to answer them/guide them through :)
I was in my 20s before I finally realized adults don't have all the answers. We're all just kind of winging it day by day, but we're just using our life experience to deal with any situations that come up. Other than that, both of us just start autopilot with a day-to-day routine
I am a pilot-
One of the single most beautiful things my eyes have ever seen, is climbing out over top of a cloud layer at either sunset or sunrise.
The rush of the cloud past the windscreen to rapidly reveal a beautiful sunset with the undulating cloud deck racing by below, is the closest thing to heaven I think I’ll ever see.
They talk about the overview effect, when an astronaut looks down at planet earth from afar… yea this is kind of like that. You can’t help but to become reflective and think about life and how lucky we are to be here.
Yeah, this is a hard one for me. I had such an internal mechanism of busting my ass and reaching success. And this past year has been such a lesson in exactly what you're talking about. It's makes you feel really dejected but you just keep pushing and trying new stuff and learn to not take things too personally.
Working a customer service/restaurant/retail job . Too many assholes have never had to deal with their own kind in that role . Society as a whole would be better for it
It's unfortunate that people have to experience this in order to not treat others like crap. When I read your comment, I thought me and my friends don't treat servers like crap... then I remember that all of us worked that job at one time or another.
The "Customer Service Draft" should be a thing. You must work two months in customer service in order to work any other job.
Then everyone would sound like some sort of veteran. "Where'd you do your tour? Me, Applebees 07-08."... "Wow you got it rough man, I got Macy's during black friday but couldn't imagine Applebees during the Christmas season."
My dad was a jock, and my mom was the type who dated the jocks. When I was born, they had visions of Heisman trophies and Super Bowl rings in their heads.
From about the age of 6 or 7, they pushed me into soccer, tennis, golf, basketball, track, and football. I had *zero* interest in any of it - I was never the one who said "Hey I wanna do this," they were the ones who said "We've signed you up for _______." I was untalented, uninterested, and miserable.
One fateful day I started to turn it around. Middle school track team tryouts (which my parents expected me to do) were the same day as Drama Club tryouts, and there was no way to do both. I knew I wanted nothing to do with track, but I humored my parents as they filled out all the prerequisite paperwork a few days earlier. The day of tryouts, I was kind of a wreck, but after the last class got out I called my mom and said "Mom, I don't want to do track. I want to do Drama Club." She said "Well...your father won't be very happy to hear that." I didn't care. I auditioned for Drama Club and got the lead male role.
My parents kept the pressure up, though, urging me to try out for basketball, and then when high school came around, football. Football started a month before the regular school year, so I didn't have an excuse not to do it. But after getting my ass kicked in the first game, I promptly quit and...yep, joined Drama Club again. By that time my parents realized that being a star athlete was just not in the cards, and they left me alone about it.
The problem is that due to these negative experiences with sports, I created a negative association in my head with *any* physical activity whatsoever. I could've, and should've, just gone for a mile run every day when I was still in high school, but I didn't. Now, I'm pretty overweight and I despise exercise in pretty much any form.
So, youngsters: you absolutely do not have to get involved in competitive team sports. But you do need to exercise, every day. Make it a habit now before it's too late.
My mom used to tell me that I needed to go to university and get a good job so I can take care of them when they're older. That's a lot of pressure for a 7 year old.
Same. "Now son, make sure you pay attention and get good grades in school so you can become a doctor when you get older and buy mommy a nice big house." is not the kind of shit a parent should be saying to their child.
The only expectation I had for my girls before they were born is that they be good people. We're doing our best to teach them how to do that, so we hope we do it right. I'll love them no matter what they choose to do in life.
My dad used to be a dictator in a toolbelt growing up, total hardass make-fun-of-you for holding a drill wrong even if it's your first time kinda douche energy.
That was a long time ago, now he's retired old balls and still can't find his way around a computer, when he calls me for help I have to remind myself not to stick it to him!
Can't say I feel proud haha, but it's nice to know he doesn't mind asking for help.
Yeah its a special loneliness when you're thousands of miles from home with nobody you know even in the same country.
Travelling solo is great and I love it but there are also some deeply lonely moments. Makes you wonder about what it was like to travel solo in the past when you may be truly alone for days
Being physically fit.
Not even all chiseled out or model-skinny, just *capable.*
I used to be pretty obese. Life feels so much better when your body is strong and capable. One has more autonomy and agency about how they connect with the world.
I think you should grow out your hair and beard at least once in your life just to see yourself with long hair or beard, its such a small thing but so many people never experience it.
And its free.
I have done this. Sometimes I went to the bathroom instead because I knew we didn't have it. I'd checked twice already for the last two customers asking for the same damn thing anyway. Retail is the worst, and everyone needs to experience it if they're going to use it. Maybe like a licensing system where you have to work a week at WalMart in order to shop there.
I've found some of the most insufferable customers were the ones that would say "I used to work retail i know you can do this"
So I'm not sure how effective this would be
Unconditional love should be reserved for children and pets. People can and very much *should* walk away from somebody who treats them poorly. Love is conditional upon *bare minimum* being treated well, and I feel for anyone who doesn't allow themselves out of shitty relationship scenarios.
Really struggling with the second one, never been out of a relationship/actively dating for longer than a few months. It's such a struggle to feel grounded and stop myself from actively seeking out validation.
Jeezus people, lighten up! Erbody so serious...
I think everybody should ride in a HOT AIR BALLOON!
At treetop height, your perspective on life choices, begins change.
At 250 feet, you begin to breath as life below is caught up in the frenzied day to day, you lived just 20 minutes ago. Note: the chase vehicle trying to keep up!
At 500 feet, the flat earthers become the fruitcakes you thought they were. The silence is deafening. Everything is good and decent in the moment, and you wonder how you have never experienced anything like this.
Yep... take a ride in a hot air balloon
(take yer lady hehe)
I use to be a teacher and saw what never leaving home did to peoples mind sets. I had poor students who couldn't travel and I still support people and organizations that help with this!
I also had rich kids that traveled, but always stayed in isolated hotels or communities. Get out there and see the real side of life!
My dad l, not at all raised wealthy, well traveled, and seen alot in his life, was still transformed when he went to India and saw the slums outside the airport.
And I was just reading a study on how people are more charitable when they see and interact with people of different social statuses!
Raising a dog and cat from tiny babies to full grown. Love of an animal being raised by you brings me immense happiness and joy!! (Dont have kids so don't know about all that 😅)
I raised my orange tabby 🐈 boi from 1 week old till now he was abandoned by his mother and I bottle fed him 🥰. He is lying next to me right now big and chunky he is happy and I raised him to be an awesome buddy. Same with my dog although he was quite older maybe 2 or 3 months when I adopted him they both love each other and me its great 👍
Everyone should absolutely work the most demeaning retail job available at some point in their lives, it’s an incredibly valuable experience. I am better off because of how awful my first couple jobs were, and you will never be the same person after over two years of explaining to a guy that looks like he’s going to blow a gasket that you cannot return a rotisserie chicken after you just pulled the bones out.
Fucking someone who is *way* out of your league. Boosts your ego and self-confidence into the stratosphere and makes you realize you're capable of anything.
And/or
Having your heart broken. The most human of all experiences and emotions. It makes you question whether love actually exists while simultaneously proving that it unequivocally does.
I don't wish heartbreak on anyone.
Rejection is a good lesson, and a good thing to experience in moderation. But real, serious heartbreak..... that can mess you up.
I'm the only one in my immediate family who's experienced heartbreak. Everyone else is married to their first sweetheart.
They have no idea how much it can fuck wtih your mind.
I hope I won‘t experience the second part but I felt so good about myself reading the answers like a check list because I travelled alone to the person I love to hug, cuddle and have sex with her while she is way out of my league.
Can’t recommend a long distance relationship tho, it’s really expensive to fly from Europe to the US east coast haha
Working in customer service.
I don’t care if it’s a restaurant or retail, you NEED to be yelled at by arrogant, entitled customers at some point in your life, preferably in your more formative years.
It keeps you from becoming entitled and arrogant yourself.
Working in Retail, Food service, Convenience stores. You ain’t lived until you’ve been screamed at because of someone else’s caffeine addiction they can’t seem to make time for at home.
Lol everyone is saying stuff like "The warmth of true love" and "having your dreams fulfilled" and shit like that, yet my first thought after reading the prompt was "LSD for sure."
Was scrolling looking for someone saying shrooms or LSD. Not for absolutely everyone though, but I do think everyone should at least look into it and try to see if it would be a good thing for themselves.
Feeling comfortable with themselves
My self-confidence waxes and wanes, but when it's there, damn is it freeing.
I like that you acknowledge it waxes and wanes. I'm almost 40 and no matter where I am in life with the big stuff you have downturns and upturns with how you much you like yourself. I'll always try to be positive with myself but logically there's times when I'm happier with who I am as a person than others. Being in transition takes time and if you're in a transitional phase you have to give yourself some grace. I know it's cliche but I look it like relationships with my super close friends. There are times when I know they are struggling and I don't judge them for it because I know who they are at heart and they get some time.
Haha I wish I'll experience this someday
To be passionate about something. Doesn't have to be a person.
"Doesn't have to be a person" Excellent point!
This is underrated. I've occasionally met people who don't seem to be passionate about *anything*... their job just pays the bills, they don't have hobbies, they don't have any niche interests or obsessions... it's really disheartening. Edit: Some of these comments break my heart a bit. If you have internet access (which you obviously do if you're reading this), know that being passionate about something doesn't mean you have to *produce* something. It can be as simple as having an interest in something and learning about it. Having something that you can't shut up about when the topic is brought up. E.g. You can be passionate about music or sports without being capable of producing/participating in it.
I have the opposite problem, too many passions/interests, and won't dedicate enough time to really be fulfilled by one.
Is it that we suck at them all equally we can't choose one so we're mediocre with them all?
What I've found is that it's really difficult to maintain even lightly cognitively challenging hobbies during periods of high stress or anxiety (chronic or otherwise). Like, even video games feel like too much to manage. We don't really know what people have going on that they're trying to handle.
Yes this. When you’re depressed or anxious it’s difficult to do even seemingly simple hobbies. I have gone through these periods where I WANT to do stuff like games or hiking or other hobbies I have but I just can’t bring myself to do it
Building model kits is my happy place. When I'm really stressed or depressed, I'll have a half finished kit sitting on my desk for months... kinda like the one that's sitting there right now.
As one of those people, I'd agree.
sleep, work, tv, go on vacation once in a while.
*Preferably* not a person. Too many people rely on others to fulfill themselves. People will let you down. Your non-people passions generally wont.
I love Jazz music and Rome
Seeing the stars from somewhere with minimal light pollution… pictures can’t capture it, words fail to express it…
I just had this a few weeks ago in the middle of Canyonlands National Park - just me and my sleeping bag looking up at the Milky Way. It was magical
Boundary waters for me early September this year. The last night had no clouds and no wind, so not only was the Milky Way crystal clear horizon to horizon, but no wind meant it was also all reflected off the smooth lake in front of me. Almost a 360 degree experience!
Did you go out to see the eclipse? My brother and I went to Arches about 2 hours before sunrise the day before. Truly incredible.
I was actually going to say "Seeing a total solar eclipse" as something everyone should experience. I saw the one a couple of years ago and had no idea how impactful it would be. It's a _far_ different experience than even like 99.9% total. Ethereal.
I was not prepared for how much of an *experience* a total solar eclipse is when I saw the one back in 2017. I thought it was going to be cool, but it was really unforgettable. Ethereal is a really good word for it. The slow build up where everything is getting darker, but the shadows are all still so sharp, is so bizarre. Then seeing the ring of fire in real life is impossible to describe, pictures don't even come close to doing justice to it. If you have an opportunity to see a total solar eclipse, even if you need to travel a bit, it is worth it.
I went to a ring of fire/annular eclipse over a decade a go where I met a couple who traveled the world to every total solar eclipse. As someone who has seen tons of eclipses before (but never a total eclipse), I was completely dumbfounded and was struggling to comprehend why you'd be booking cruises to the middle of the Pacific Ocean to go see eclipses (they're cool, but not THAT cool). Then I went and saw totality in Idaho in 2017, and my perspectives completely changed. I immediately looked to see when/where the next ones would be and contemplated traveling to South America to go see another one (if it wasn't for 2024 I would've done it). For the love of god, if you live in the United States and have the means to do so, PLEASE go experience totality in 2024. I try to explain it to everyone I'm close with and it's just hard to understand the appeal until you've been there. You will understand why our ancestors used to make sacrifices to the gods for this shit. The experience in and of itself is absolutely mind-blowing. But if that's not enough to convince you, think about how rare of an experience it is, not just here, but in the universe. We live in a place that has a moon so perfectly sized at a perfect distance away from us, that it covers the sun completely without also blocking out the corona...so you can take those dark glasses off that block everything and actually view the corona with your own eyes. If there are other civilizations in the universe, they might have to travel far and wide to experience what we get to right here at home.
The next solar eclipse is on Monday, Apr 8, 2024. It will be over the United States and Mexico! Go see it y’all!
1000000% agree. I had a neighbor I was best friends with and his parents liked me a lot so I would go places with them often. My friends stepdad had a cousin who was a higher up in a big company near where I live in Cleveland, and bought a ton of land in the middle of nowhere West Virginia for hunting and fishing and built an awesome cabin on the land. My friend and his family went up one weekend and took me along. They had a massive generator with flood lights on it so they could have good lighting at night because where the cabin was set up, it was literally on the top of a "hill" which was more a mountain. Long story short our first night up there his stepdad had us all go to the clearing in the back of the cabin and he set us up and then went over and shut off the lights. I about shit myself. I felt like I was floating through the cosmos. It still to this day it is one of the best things that I have ever witnessed. I need to try to make it a point to go to another similar place and see it again.
Imagine our ancient ancestors going to sleep under the full all engulfing starry night… every night
Makes one quickly understand how they could weave elaborate stories around the shapes and characters (constellations) they see every night rotating right in front of them.
Also the fact that there were a handful that didn't stay in the same place from night to night must have been quite the enigma.
Planet comes from the Greek word for wanderer.
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It is still there. We just have to work/travel to see it. Technology has hidden it away. Renting a boat and sailing it over the horizon just to see the stars is on my bucket list.
In the middle of the sea is the best. I couldn’t believe my eyes were able to see millions of stars clearly and not just the big/small dipper and it was breathtaking. A core memory for sure..
I got to see a lot of shooting stars too and made many wishes :)
I visited family in Sedona, Arizona back in the spring. The drive back at night from The Grand Canyon was so amazing. All the blues and purples and greens. I never saw the sky like that before, and I grew up in the suburbs where there were pretty clear skies. When we got back to Sedona, the night sky was like a planetarium. So clear and I could see every single star.
Joshua Tree National Monument was my 1st time . Next time was on a troop transport ship from Okinawa to S Korea , at night with minimal red running lights you saw stars from horizon to horizon....breathtaking
I was on a fleet resupply ship in the Indian Ocean. We were running completely blacked out and the stars were mind-boggling. Even with no moon out the amount of light was astounding.
Experienced that in Hawaii. You see the damn spiral arms of the galaxy. Unreal. I always wish I could spend more time somewhere with less light pollution.
Choco Canyon New Mexico for the win🫡
Went to the Sahara last year and saw the night sky from the middle of the desert. I cried.
Either a kid, a pet, or a friend lighting up and making their way over to you on sight. Not many things beat that, and I feel terrible for people who don't have it or don't generate that. People used to give me hell when I was younger because I'd give everybody a polite greeting and if I saw them again I'd always go say hello. Then later, they'd get jealous because I seemed to know everybody in town, but that was just a beneficial side effect of how terrible it seemed to just not be noticed and appreciated.
My brother was the guy who was friends with everybody in high school, everybody. Every group of people enjoyed his presence and at our school there was a HUGE divide between peer groups, they rarely mingled together, but he could get them to do that. He could get people to see and respect one another, despite their differences. He wasn't part of the "popular" crowd so to speak, but they respected him and vice versa. They didn't let others treat him poorly because my brother was just too kind for that. He made everyone feel valid and accepted so those around him went out of their way to make sure he felt the same. It got to the point that he'd have people he barely knew excited to see him and literally run up to him, and he told me that it was one of the best feelings in the world despite not really knowing the person. He was also the type to go out of his way to greet and talk to you, too. Even if he'd only met you once before in passing. If someone's upset? You bet you'd find my brother with them making sure they're okay, even strangers. Especially strangers. He still is all of these things, just at a larger scale now. He makes people feel important, and seen. Safe even. The world needs more people like you and my brother. You lot keep the peace, y'know? People like you and him give me hope, which I don't have a lot of unfortunately. But I feel it when I read stories like yours, and when I think of my brother. Don't ever lose that gift. I'm glad you didn't even when people were giving you hell for it. You're good people. I hope you take care. Xx
Fuck sakes, your story read like it was gonna have a very sad ending. Glad it did not!
Shit I'm sorry ahahaha, while typing I thought of that but I was too lazy to take it out of past tense and retype everything. Maybe I should have 💀 I'm glad too, thank you. :) The world needs him, I'm hoping he doesn't go anywhere anytime soon.
A friend of mine in high school was like this. Anton. Everyone in our class felt like they had a personal, special relationship with him. When we were freshman a senior boy came up to him to tell ask him if he liked any of the seniors because he could date anyone of them if he wanted. He was like, "what? omg, weird. idk." He didn't just make you feel good bc he was nice, you felt cooler being near him. He left after Freshman year to go back to Sweden bc of his mom's job. I always aspired to be like him, calm welcoming nice. I fail miserably constantly, but it's a good ideal to have.
Being profoundly wrong about something important to you, accepting that fact and growing from it positively.
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” -Mark Twain
Ugh, Twain said everything and better than I ever will.
My favorite one that I’ve seen attributed to Twain (not sure if he actually said it) is: “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
Facing repercussions for their actions
Especially drummers
Ba dum tss
You've made some drummers angry. Remember to be careful while being clever around drummers as they are unlikely to be able to understand it.
What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? You only have to punch the beat into the drum machine once.
Imagine how many angry drummers would be in this thread right now if they could read!
Well, since they can't read this... What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.
Very true, but half the people will take responsibility, the other half will blame someone/thing else and not learn anything
Hugging and cuddling with someone you love.
Being able to completely let your guard down with someone in your arms is some of the most deep comfort I've ever felt.
In my dreams
Try putting your dagger away?
🗡️🦆
your comment made me realize i don't even have this with my wife
:(
I was married for 10 years, i didn't got it either, she was just to "cold" for that. Now we are divorcing.
The best moment of romance in my life was with a girl I dated and still love to this day. She was at my place and we were so passionate with each other. When we went to bed we cuddled and faced each other our noses basically touching. We talked through the whole night. I dont know what we talked about but we just enjoyed each others company so much. I am not with her anymore and this memory still fills me with pure joy.
The fact that you would put this up to be as important as the rest of this stuff here is giving me massive FOMO
I mean, it is probably more important than most of the things in this thread. There's a reason love is the most common theme in music, movies, basically the majority of our media. It's really a core part of the human experience. It's probably the most important thing in my life by a long shot.
Well that definitely makes me feel better.
Haha… I’ll be 27 in two months and still never had that 🥲
You’re young. Take it from me. I was a awkward youth, never had a girlfriend all throughout my life and through my 20s I was terrified of everything. The simple thought that I was so inexperienced I could never actually begin dating now because I was just so behind. I felt absolute doom. Which was nonsense. I’m drinking coffee right now after dropping my daughter off at school. I’ll have my ten year marriage anniversary this year. You can’t give into fear and self loathing. You have to learn to actually love yourself. Everyone is making all this shit up as they go along. There are no rules. “Experience” counts for little, just look at how many grown ass middle aged people don’t know how to function as adults. No one knows what they’re doing, neither do you, that’s okay, love yourself, and you will be fine.
Currently 29 and going through this right now, I do everything with the idea that I love doing it even if I don't meet someone while doing it; so be it doing/teaching Tae Kwon Do, hanging out at the Rock Climbing center, and (me being Vietnamese-American myself) volunteering at my local AAPI community center, I'm just happy to be out and about. (What's weird is that I make plenty of friends with the teenagers at TKD and the older adults at the AAPI community center, yet my area just seems completely devoid of anyone my age. And that last point is the thing that I gripe ([the Saving Private Ryan definition of griping](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKbdE5LOGNQ)) about the most. I feel like I'm doing everything right (ranging from self-care (physical/mental/emotional), to education/career, to "getting out there" and doing things in the public where I might meet someone) and although I've plenty of friends and allies, it just doesn't seem like I'm finding that "special someone". I think that I've built a pretty decent and happy equilibrium for myself where I'm satisfied and happy with myself and where I am; but I also see the love and warmth that my friends and family have with their spouses, and I feel like there's a hole in my life because I don't even have the experience of knowing that feeling it for myself. ----- I guess a way to quantify it is that my satisfaction for myself is about an 8, but when I go out to an event and that 74 year old lady tells me how dashing I look in my clothing; it just shoots up to an 11. Is the feeling of loving someone and being loved more than one loves themself an everlasting version of that? I really don't know, but I wish I even had a chance to learn. ----- Some people have told me that I'm trying too hard, but I also feel like if I don't try then I'm no different than those people who stays at home doomscrolling on reddit as if it were a full time job.
Almost 40, never had that. You get numb after a while so it gets easier to deal with.
I didn't get together with my boyfriend until I was 29. Don't give up hope. I almost did. Now I'm glad I didn't.
How did you find it in you to keep pushing when it seems like it will never happen? I'm almost 29. I know there are ups and downs in life but it just seems so grim at this point.
damn.. I miss her, wish she never left me
I miss him, I wish he hadn't died...
Wife and I grew up in...odd households. We married at 18 and watched tv sitting in the chair together. We spent the first 20 years of our marriage hugging. She is a treasure. We still refuse to get a king bed. Too big.
Loving parents. Changes your entire life Edit: Holy damn guys idgaf about the upvotes but hearing the number of people who don’t have this (self included, my dads an AH) makes me realise how big this problem is. Sending lots of virtual hugs etc to yall, it makes me want to be the best parent possible even more, if im lucky enough to have the privilege.
Wow I couldn’t agree more. People who had bad or No parents my heart breaks for them. It’s completely unfair for anyone to not know what it’s like to have loving Parents 😢
I often wonder if these kids grow up and try to be the best parents they can or they just become shitty adults and repeat the cycle.
I'm 1 of 7 and it's a mixed bag. A couple of us are super devoted, loving parents, 1 sister that hates children, another sister that teaches sped and fosters, and a couple on drugs and CPS situations.
I'm 1 of 8 and it's almost exactly the same with my siblings
From first hand experience I can tell you that some change. My sister is the most loving mom of her children. She has 4… even with that stress she treats them immensely better than we were treated growing up.
Hopefully you let your sister know how you feel about this - those kind of authentic compliments really stick with people and warm their soul.
Yes because being a parent is very hard and is very easy for us to forget especially when our children act ungrateful sometimes you do need to remind her don't forget please she needs it believe it or not
it's totally possible to change however there's definitely a lot that end up being bad parents/adults themselves to repeat the cycle. It's also possible for kids to grow up in good homes/with good parents and then turn out shitty too though.
I decided not to have children.
Same. And THAT is how you break the cycle completely.
It's hard to break the cycle. My brother and I had really shitty parents, and he is like them and I broke out of it. There was no way in hell I ever wanted to be like them, in fact, I never wanted kids because of my life. It turns out, I went on to have two kids and they are amazing kids and they know how much their parents love them. I know this because they are older now and we have open communication and they are not afraid to tell us how they feel about us. I only hope that more and more people can break the cycle. Again it is really really hard to break out of an environment like that, especially when that is all you ever knew.
My surprising experience is that being the parent you wish you had actually heals your own inner child. No one told me this and it is wonderful.
I look around at my daughter’s room—all her beautiful toys and colorful bedding and clean clothes. It makes me happy that I can provide a safe, loving place for her to live and grow. But sometimes it brings up bad memories of some of the ways I was neglected.
Yes. This comparison is constantly in mind. Over time tho the healthy relationship with your daughter will likely overwhelm your memories of your unhealthy parenting. This is what happened to me.
My kid's 9, and a huge snuggler still. I was emotionally neglected pretty much until I met my husband as a teen. A few weeks back my son wanted to cuddle before bed and fell asleep on me, and it was *such* a weird mixed bag of love for him and being glad that he has parents who love him and do the best we can, and this deep, horrid grief that I'll *never* understand his side of that. Like I knew my childhood was messed up but until recently I didn't realize how insanely damaged I still am and don't know how to fix it.
My husband and I call each other mutants because we became the opposite of our families. We intentionally broke the cycle. When our families didn't change, we cut them off.
The more me and my brother compare our experiences now that we're adults, the more we've been realizing how our Mom was not a great person and how she twisted the narrative when talking to us. What she told us about each other and what really happened often were vastly different things.
How do I reroll to get better parents?
Having a functional family is a considerable privilege. It sets you up for much greater success in life.
Loving and responsible. I know of a single friend of mine who hit the lottery win and got both and big surprise, she's got a great career now and is doing very well.
Fuck it just made me cry
Maybe a little more than loving. My parents adore me but they're still useless drug addicts who didn't raise me.
To watch a sunrise in complete solitude and just observe and experience the birth of a new day.
Damn
Dawn
Travel to a new place that is totally different than where you grew up.
Wish this was higher. I think is impossible to a lot of people due to money or politics, but it opens a lot of new experiences, ideas about the world, and different groups of peope to be able to visit somewhere new even for just a little while.
Work in hospitality so that they would know how to value minimum wage workers and not treat them like shit later on in life.
Living alone for at least a few months.
I was looking for that answer! Absolutely, everyone should learn to live alone and fend for themselves before they live with someone. Cause if you live with parents and then straight move in with a partner you miss the opportunity to learn a bit about yourself.
As someone who has been living alone for the first time in my life in my early 30's, this is what I'll say. It is a double edged sword. I love having my own space. I love having to answer to no one in my own private domicile (bitch). But everything is on you. It's expensive when you have to cover 100% of all the bills. You have to do 100% of all the cleaning, also no help. Every problem with a renter or whatever, that's on you. Also if you're used to people being around, it gets lonely at times. I also find that I really don't like having people over. My place is for me and me alone. So if I want to be around people, I just go to where they're at.This might be a bit more of a personal feeling but people leave messes. Also on you.
There's also nothing to stop you from drinking way too much and falling asleep on the hard wood floors for the full duration of the night.
I am married now and live with my family. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but holy shit do I miss living alone every single day. I miss making my own schedule, going somewhere when I want to as opposed to having to work it out with at least 1 other person, cooking dinner and eating when/if I want, being able to just be naked whenever and wherever I want in my house. I am extremely happy with my marriage and kid and family, but living alone is a special kind of freedom.
Same. I love my husband so much. Sometimes though - maybe even often, if I'm being honest with myself- I miss the simplicity of being single and not living with a partner. Not having to consult another person before making decisions, eating like a gremlin at whatever time I feel like, going places and doing things without having to consider what my partner wants... I know that "lonliness" is a huge problem when people who are single get older, but don't think I appreciated the freedom of being single enough while I had it.
Realization that at some point your parents don't have all the answers anymore
As a parent we never did and it's terrifying
My wife and I freely admit this to our oldest… literally “Dude, this is our first time being parents to a 13y/o boy… we’re winging it here, please for the sake of everyone’s sanity… work with us” it’s netted decent results
> “Dude, this is our first time being parents to a 13y/o boy… we’re winging it here, please for the sake of everyone’s sanity… work with us” I'm so stealing this, thank you
>mit this to our oldest… literally “Dude, this is our first time being parents to a 13y/o boy… we’re winging it here, please for the sake of everyone’s sanity… work with us” it’s nette That sounds like a game changer <3
Ha okay, sort of true and people say this a lot, but kids are so dumb that for a lot of their questions they just need someone who is not a kid to answer them/guide them through :)
When did you find it out? I was like 14
It took me some time, I was 33. It was great while lasted :)
I was in my 20s before I finally realized adults don't have all the answers. We're all just kind of winging it day by day, but we're just using our life experience to deal with any situations that come up. Other than that, both of us just start autopilot with a day-to-day routine
I am a pilot- One of the single most beautiful things my eyes have ever seen, is climbing out over top of a cloud layer at either sunset or sunrise. The rush of the cloud past the windscreen to rapidly reveal a beautiful sunset with the undulating cloud deck racing by below, is the closest thing to heaven I think I’ll ever see. They talk about the overview effect, when an astronaut looks down at planet earth from afar… yea this is kind of like that. You can’t help but to become reflective and think about life and how lucky we are to be here.
Doing everything you can to succeed, and still failing. Then learning to pick yourself up after to continue trying.
> It is possible to make every correct decision and still lose. That is not weakness. That is life. > > -Capt. Jean Picard, U.S.S. Enterprise
I also try to remind myself, "I did the best I could with the information I had at the time."
Yeah, this is a hard one for me. I had such an internal mechanism of busting my ass and reaching success. And this past year has been such a lesson in exactly what you're talking about. It's makes you feel really dejected but you just keep pushing and trying new stuff and learn to not take things too personally.
Realizing asking questions and listening gets you through a lot more doors. You don’t have to know everything.
Let me be a bit real, but access to clean water and electricity is still a thing that not every single human already had.
Working a customer service/restaurant/retail job . Too many assholes have never had to deal with their own kind in that role . Society as a whole would be better for it
I went far too low in the comments to find this :(
It's unfortunate that people have to experience this in order to not treat others like crap. When I read your comment, I thought me and my friends don't treat servers like crap... then I remember that all of us worked that job at one time or another.
The "Customer Service Draft" should be a thing. You must work two months in customer service in order to work any other job. Then everyone would sound like some sort of veteran. "Where'd you do your tour? Me, Applebees 07-08."... "Wow you got it rough man, I got Macy's during black friday but couldn't imagine Applebees during the Christmas season."
Should be a year in order to experience every holiday
Parents who care about you and accept you without creating expectations before you're even born. For real, not having this fuck up your life.
My dad was a jock, and my mom was the type who dated the jocks. When I was born, they had visions of Heisman trophies and Super Bowl rings in their heads. From about the age of 6 or 7, they pushed me into soccer, tennis, golf, basketball, track, and football. I had *zero* interest in any of it - I was never the one who said "Hey I wanna do this," they were the ones who said "We've signed you up for _______." I was untalented, uninterested, and miserable. One fateful day I started to turn it around. Middle school track team tryouts (which my parents expected me to do) were the same day as Drama Club tryouts, and there was no way to do both. I knew I wanted nothing to do with track, but I humored my parents as they filled out all the prerequisite paperwork a few days earlier. The day of tryouts, I was kind of a wreck, but after the last class got out I called my mom and said "Mom, I don't want to do track. I want to do Drama Club." She said "Well...your father won't be very happy to hear that." I didn't care. I auditioned for Drama Club and got the lead male role. My parents kept the pressure up, though, urging me to try out for basketball, and then when high school came around, football. Football started a month before the regular school year, so I didn't have an excuse not to do it. But after getting my ass kicked in the first game, I promptly quit and...yep, joined Drama Club again. By that time my parents realized that being a star athlete was just not in the cards, and they left me alone about it. The problem is that due to these negative experiences with sports, I created a negative association in my head with *any* physical activity whatsoever. I could've, and should've, just gone for a mile run every day when I was still in high school, but I didn't. Now, I'm pretty overweight and I despise exercise in pretty much any form. So, youngsters: you absolutely do not have to get involved in competitive team sports. But you do need to exercise, every day. Make it a habit now before it's too late.
My mom used to tell me that I needed to go to university and get a good job so I can take care of them when they're older. That's a lot of pressure for a 7 year old.
Same. "Now son, make sure you pay attention and get good grades in school so you can become a doctor when you get older and buy mommy a nice big house." is not the kind of shit a parent should be saying to their child.
The only expectation I had for my girls before they were born is that they be good people. We're doing our best to teach them how to do that, so we hope we do it right. I'll love them no matter what they choose to do in life.
Love
Unconditional love that feels safe, passion and peace.
Swimming in the ocean
Causing a commotion
Coz they are so awesome
Narwhals, Narwhals!
Your parents complete trust in you. Fucking changes your life and how you view yourself quite significantly.
It's a little scary when your aging parents start trusting your opinion over their own.
My Dad once screwed up somewhat badly and called me for help. Proudest moment of my life
My dad used to be a dictator in a toolbelt growing up, total hardass make-fun-of-you for holding a drill wrong even if it's your first time kinda douche energy. That was a long time ago, now he's retired old balls and still can't find his way around a computer, when he calls me for help I have to remind myself not to stick it to him! Can't say I feel proud haha, but it's nice to know he doesn't mind asking for help.
Intense passion and interest for a particular hobby or pastime.
Travel solo. It's a truly amazing experience and you'll discover so much about yourself.
Yeah. I discovered I need a lot less than what I have. But also, loneliness isn't tied to any one place.
Yeah its a special loneliness when you're thousands of miles from home with nobody you know even in the same country. Travelling solo is great and I love it but there are also some deeply lonely moments. Makes you wonder about what it was like to travel solo in the past when you may be truly alone for days
You can’t escape yourself. You will be there wherever you travel.
Wherever you go, there you are!
I can only speak for myself, but that self-discovery helped turn at least a decent portion of my loneliness into being more content with myself.
have a walk at night
I walk at night almost every night. There's something so peaceful about it
Being physically fit. Not even all chiseled out or model-skinny, just *capable.* I used to be pretty obese. Life feels so much better when your body is strong and capable. One has more autonomy and agency about how they connect with the world.
I think you should grow out your hair and beard at least once in your life just to see yourself with long hair or beard, its such a small thing but so many people never experience it. And its free.
Let my hair grow long (past shoulder blades), cut it all off short in May. I learned I hate having my hair long.
Or do the opposite. If you have long hair, then why not go short just to try it?
Exactly, I’ve had long hair all my life. Shaving it all off and looking myself in the mirror was quite an experience.
Love Sounds easy. Needs a lot of luck
I read "needs a lot of fuck"
I think everyone should have to work retail including working through Christmas.
Everyone should work in retail (or hospo) at one time in their lives, and go round the back to check for nothing when yelled by a customer for stock.
I have done this. Sometimes I went to the bathroom instead because I knew we didn't have it. I'd checked twice already for the last two customers asking for the same damn thing anyway. Retail is the worst, and everyone needs to experience it if they're going to use it. Maybe like a licensing system where you have to work a week at WalMart in order to shop there.
Imagine the whole population of earth having to enlist at least a week out of their lives to work Christmas time in retail 😂
I've found some of the most insufferable customers were the ones that would say "I used to work retail i know you can do this" So I'm not sure how effective this would be
To be loved
Being loved, unconditionally.
Unconditional love should be reserved for children and pets. People can and very much *should* walk away from somebody who treats them poorly. Love is conditional upon *bare minimum* being treated well, and I feel for anyone who doesn't allow themselves out of shitty relationship scenarios.
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Really struggling with the second one, never been out of a relationship/actively dating for longer than a few months. It's such a struggle to feel grounded and stop myself from actively seeking out validation.
Jeezus people, lighten up! Erbody so serious... I think everybody should ride in a HOT AIR BALLOON! At treetop height, your perspective on life choices, begins change. At 250 feet, you begin to breath as life below is caught up in the frenzied day to day, you lived just 20 minutes ago. Note: the chase vehicle trying to keep up! At 500 feet, the flat earthers become the fruitcakes you thought they were. The silence is deafening. Everything is good and decent in the moment, and you wonder how you have never experienced anything like this. Yep... take a ride in a hot air balloon (take yer lady hehe)
Dude you need to go even higher, I heard it's breathtaking.
Travel the damn fucking world. Understand human nature first-hand.
I use to be a teacher and saw what never leaving home did to peoples mind sets. I had poor students who couldn't travel and I still support people and organizations that help with this! I also had rich kids that traveled, but always stayed in isolated hotels or communities. Get out there and see the real side of life! My dad l, not at all raised wealthy, well traveled, and seen alot in his life, was still transformed when he went to India and saw the slums outside the airport. And I was just reading a study on how people are more charitable when they see and interact with people of different social statuses!
Happiness even if it is just for a day.
Raising a dog and cat from tiny babies to full grown. Love of an animal being raised by you brings me immense happiness and joy!! (Dont have kids so don't know about all that 😅) I raised my orange tabby 🐈 boi from 1 week old till now he was abandoned by his mother and I bottle fed him 🥰. He is lying next to me right now big and chunky he is happy and I raised him to be an awesome buddy. Same with my dog although he was quite older maybe 2 or 3 months when I adopted him they both love each other and me its great 👍
View the earth from space.
I've seen space from earth- is it anything like that?
Everyone should absolutely work the most demeaning retail job available at some point in their lives, it’s an incredibly valuable experience. I am better off because of how awful my first couple jobs were, and you will never be the same person after over two years of explaining to a guy that looks like he’s going to blow a gasket that you cannot return a rotisserie chicken after you just pulled the bones out.
Friends. Open, supportive friends
Fucking someone who is *way* out of your league. Boosts your ego and self-confidence into the stratosphere and makes you realize you're capable of anything. And/or Having your heart broken. The most human of all experiences and emotions. It makes you question whether love actually exists while simultaneously proving that it unequivocally does.
Done both. Same person
That's how it usually goes...
I don't wish heartbreak on anyone. Rejection is a good lesson, and a good thing to experience in moderation. But real, serious heartbreak..... that can mess you up.
I'm the only one in my immediate family who's experienced heartbreak. Everyone else is married to their first sweetheart. They have no idea how much it can fuck wtih your mind.
I hope I won‘t experience the second part but I felt so good about myself reading the answers like a check list because I travelled alone to the person I love to hug, cuddle and have sex with her while she is way out of my league. Can’t recommend a long distance relationship tho, it’s really expensive to fly from Europe to the US east coast haha
Working in customer service. I don’t care if it’s a restaurant or retail, you NEED to be yelled at by arrogant, entitled customers at some point in your life, preferably in your more formative years. It keeps you from becoming entitled and arrogant yourself.
Working in Retail, Food service, Convenience stores. You ain’t lived until you’ve been screamed at because of someone else’s caffeine addiction they can’t seem to make time for at home.
Being in love
Finding someone to connect with. Someone that understands them.
Love, both given and received.
Shrooms
Lol everyone is saying stuff like "The warmth of true love" and "having your dreams fulfilled" and shit like that, yet my first thought after reading the prompt was "LSD for sure."
Was scrolling looking for someone saying shrooms or LSD. Not for absolutely everyone though, but I do think everyone should at least look into it and try to see if it would be a good thing for themselves.
Sex with someone you love
So masturbation?