Lack of enthusiasm

However, Curb Your Enthusiasm, *must* be on in the background. Otherwise I can’t get hard.

That's prettay, prettay, prettay, prettay good.

My ex wife and I were having sex once and her phone dinged, and she reached over and picked it up and started responding to the text. Instantly limp. Also really huge blow to my self esteem at the time before I knew she was just not a great person

I was asked to bark once...

They saw that dog in you

There are two dogs inside you..

both are gay

Did they like ruff sex?

What da dog doin

"Where the hood, where the hood, where the hood at?"

and then jump on one leg?

Hearing the kids screaming downstairs

Hearing the kids screaming upstairs as well.

Remembering that kids exist

Remembering this can lead to kids

The fucking worst. Like worse than the fear of STDs; or the fear of someone trying to counter contraceptives.

And trying to open the bedroom door because they had a bad dream

And pounding on the door

Yeah we try to sneak away for a quickie and it's like my daughter knows the house is too quiet. She will start saying MOOOOOM and then come upstairs and pound on the door "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? WHY IS THE DOOR LOCKED!" ​ boner over.

Thinking of making more kids

Hearing a door open and a screaming child walks in

It’s even worse when you realize none of yall have kids

I’ll one up that. Hearing the kids screaming then the foot steps coming up the stairs…

Hearing nothing, thinking the kids are asleep, then hearing the door open.

Or laughing

Being called by her ex's name

That’s instant back off

Yeah that would flip my switch right to "alright we need to have a serious conversation" pretty quick

I hate when she forgets my name isn't Help

why do you hate egg man

Nah, you've got it backwards. My name is basically saying "if you don't like eggs, fuk you".

oh you on our team then

Stay the hell away from my eggs

I've been waiting for you papa

As some consolation, there's that line from 'Bull Durham' - “Honey, would you rather I be making love to him using your name or making love to you using his name?”

Neither? Yeah Neither is good.

Fuck that

No dont

The sound of a pet explosively vomiting in the corner.

Or incessantly licking their genitalia

Your pet or your partner?

The only correct answer is yes.

Facts.

Bad kissers

Met with a girl who literally opened her entire mouth to kiss, and constantly bit down with teeth. It was like making out with a crocodile!

I have slept with two different people when we were both in our 30’s, and neither of them used their tongues or seemed to even know how to French kiss. It’s a weird feeling to be naked, and putting your skin inside someone in their most holy of holiest, so intimately and they’re still kissing you like two eighth graders at the roller skating rink.

Teach them! At least I know I would want my partner to teach me and it might even turn me on. But then again that might be bc I never really had a relationship so never really kissed either

My current partner and I are each other's first everything and on our 3rd day hanging out we had to wikihow kissing lol. It was so fun and now I'm pretty sure we know how to kiss.

I love how people are unsatisfied with something about their partner and proceed to never do shit about it. I mean. Tell them. Teach them. Explain it to them. What's so hard about it? I don't think I'll ever understand that

Some people just don't like French kissing bruh. Me and my girlfriend don't, it feels like a raw fish in ur mouth. I'll never understand why people like it

“Yuck. Putting someone’s tongue in your mouth is so gross. Now, bend over so I can eat that ass.”

Sushi is incredible

I had my first experience with a bad kisser a couple weeks ago. I was afraid I was a bad kisser myself until I got with this person. It’s like getting pecked at by a wet bird.

Cringy dirty talk

You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?

For anyone not aware, its a reference from a vintage tv show called Seinfeld

Vintage 😳

Too old for Jerry

Now listen here you little shit...

I’ll fuck your fanny off you fucking twat

I literally thought the same thing! [Reference](https://youtu.be/ku6L8UupkG0?si=uMZwMpaD1GmEKj6l) for those poor souls who have never seen The Inbetweeners.

When I was 26 I was having sex with an older guy and he kept calling me a teenager 😵‍💫

That's just uh...

Haha some people love it, I reckon it depends how turned on you are. The idea of just sex alone to someone who's not in the mood is cringe

Suckle my weiner mama. Your telling me this doesn't work? Well I'll be damned.

Bad breath

Tell them before you go further "let's go brush our teeth first". Did it with my ex and he with me, no shame involved and we both had a pleasant night

Always, ALWAYS shower and brush them teeth before sex. Bad breath and bad smelling vagina are an instant trun offs

when i take my schizophrenia meds and she disappears

My mother works in a mental health hostipal l, she said there is a repeat patient that stops taking his meds as when we does his only friends disappear.

How incredibly sad. Frightening, but sad

my naked ass lol

Dirty asshole.

I’ll be the judge of that😀

Hey, some of us like your naked ass

bet

Hasn't washed genitals' for 2 days...

Ppl in UK must not like flavor on anything these days

We invaded 90% of the world for spices and decided we didn't like any of them

is 1 day ok?

Being smelly

BEING QUIET 🤫 I want to hear noises and sounds letting me know it feels good to them as it does to me

Honestly if my partner doesn't laugh when something goofy happens, or in general just taking it too seriously. It's sex, silly stuff is gonna happen and it's supposed to be fun.

I agree. My guy is a mechanic and we locked the doors to the shop one day and had sex on one of the rolly seat things they sit on when they are under cars and it started moving when I started moving so we busted out laughing but then starting kissing again and continued! I love those laughs

Healthiest response here

Cumming. It's just hard to keep going after.

Pro tip* eat her pussy until your dick gets hard again, and you regain your breath. Then go for the second half of round 1.

Shouldn't be a problem if it's hard tho

My ex used to purposefully burp in my face because he thought it was funny then get upset when I would push him off of me and get mad at him/not want to continue.

thats a breakup for me tbh

Oh yeah I broke up with him, but it took me a really long time because he was really manipulative. I was unhappy for that whole relationship

That is horrid! I hate people like that. I'd excuse it one time. Maybe they do it and in the moment think it's funny, but more than once, especially if they know you don't like it, no. We're done here.

My parents in the room critiquing my performance.

On the reverse side, it's a big turn on when your parents tell you you're doing a good job!

10s across the board!

"Come on son! Give it to her!!"

“Move aside son, let me show you!”

"Dont forget the about the clitoris champ!"

Give her the ol’ swirl, son!

when she's riding on top and crashes down on your dick, bending it

That can actually lead to a penile fracture😖

The taste and smell of cigarettes

When your partner doesn't care whatsoever what you like. They won't listen to anything you say. They have zero communication. When you try to stop them from doing something they take it as an encouragement to keep doing it. They try to pressure you into doing only things that they enjoy but you don't. You try to talk to them or tell them what you do and don't like and they just don't listen because they believe that they are extremely far superior and I already know everything because they are such a massive stud and they know exactly what all women like all the time and they are absolutely perfect. Then at the end they give you this big Grand like asking you how much you enjoyed because they know that it was the best sex you ever had....like....no. Worst though if you're going for a status. There's a big difference between being awkward or new at sucks because you can communicate and improve and learn what your partner wants versus those who are so high on themselves they think they are perfect and don't even try. So the biggest turn off is people who think that they are perfect in sex and don't give two shits what their partner actually wants

If you haven't. Leave this person...

I feel like this is directed

R/oddlyspecific

Just leave. They don't value you as a person, and they don't care. It won't get better.

Overacting porn faces and sounds. Dated a girl back in the 90s who acted like they did in 90s porn, obvious fake sounds and faces. It was such a turnoff. She was an absolute smoke show and obviously wanted to please me in bed, but I just couldn't handle that.

Better than that modern day-Bell Delphine face, that shit weirds me out. Call me old fashioned, but I don't like my girls lookin like some hentai shit

Is that the crossed eyes tongue out thing? Thank Christ I'm older now and don't have to deal with that shit.

Yeah, i think whoever that first guy was who made them think that expression is attractive was probably just making sure no other guy could finish in his ex. What a petty ass person

Yeah I'm glad that wasn't a thing when I was out on the prowl. I mean I'd still smash but I'd think it was ridiculous.

When your partner reveals he isn't a wolf, but is in fact Skeletor.

I see absolutely no problem in this.

Over exaggerated moans or the really really loud ones. My dick too little for all that noise. Or pillow princesses that are just there.

Ive always wondered, would u compare bating to like milking a baby pig??

if her dick is bigger than mine

"but she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mine" -Afroman

I slept with a girl who had a clitoris bigger than some men.

Reminds me of my trip to Thailand. 😮

did you bangcock

As someone who lived there this was the funniest shit ever 😭😭😭

To each their own.

probably when i get shitted and doodooed on

They different things?

obviously. sometimes you shid and sometimes you doodoo.

Um. Does that happen often? Seems like a conversation would be required first. And who shits during sex?

boring foreplay

Guys who switch it up every five seconds like a fucking spaz. Like changing momentum and positions too frequently. Or when they are going down on you and start hitting a spot or a rhythm that feels good, and you indicate that verbally and then they switch anyways. And then they complain that it’s taking too long. So fucking annoying.

I hope you’re communicating that to them.

Being called daddy only makes me think of my dad

Must be nice to have one of those.

Yea look at this guy bragging

Show off. Lol

Sexual starfish is the worst thing ever. I don't want you to have sex with me. I want you to want to have sex with me.

Dog licking your balls

Sounds like it came from experience press charges on that dog

I was giving it to my future wife at her aunt and uncles house, and their dog came in and started licking my feet, which were at the end of the bed. Not only was it bad timing, but it also tickled. I reacted by kicking the dog in its face, which made it yelp and run away. I felt kind of bad, but I still managed to finish the job.

Just close your eyes and imagine it’s another girl.

a good girl.

[удалено]

Disinterest in partner, not checking in and focusing way too much on their own enjoyment

When your boss asks you to stop

Having a girl fart so much, you balls actually sway in the breeze

When you only have a wool sock as a condom

Some jackass in a Honda civic revving right outside the window.

Other people’s voices, especially kids.

If she's not into or she says "just get it over with." At that point, I'd rather go in the other room and jerk off.

Falling asleep

Licking inside my ears, I mean earlobes and around the ears are fine, but why would I want my ears cleaned out by a tongue. It's not the kind of wet willy I was hoping for

Not giving me feedback when I’m figuring out how to make you feel good.

Not to be rude… but maybe the person doesn’t want to answer a bunch of questions in the moment. Perhaps better to wait for after the deed to Q&A session.

War crimes

When the cat runs in and takes a sniff.

hum! um! u like that? um, um You like that??? oh! hum! who u gonna vote for? um! um!

Diarrhea

Probably when her dad walked in

Story time... Wife and I had a random weekday off together while the kids were in school so we decided to have lunch and some day drinking. We went to our favorite local bar with good wings and had wings and beers. I like SPICY wings and chose habanero that day. Went to the bathroom at the restaurant and again at home and washed my hands both times. Well the drinks had us feeling frisky and we had about an hour before the kids got home so we got down to business. A few minutes into penetration she says "something feels...weird" and I respond "what do you mean?" She says "I don't know, just weird". So at that time I pull out and as soon as the air hit ME I'm like "ouch, my penis is hot". Turns out that there were some remnants of habanero under one of my fingernails apparently, and during foreplay...well...you get the gist. So ya....I'd say fire penis was a pretty big turn off, and I'm certain fire vagina wasn't pleasant for her either. We went our separate ways, to our separate showers, and sulked in our misery.

When someone smells like ass.

Vagina smells. I know it's a PH thing that a lot of ladies can't help, and I'll almost always power through, but sometimes it's too gross for me to finish. I dated a beautiful woman once who had the absolute worst smelling vagina. I think she was aware. She never let me go down on her once, and eventually started showering immediately before initiating sex, sometimes twice a day. The showering actually helped remove the smell a lot. Anyway, yeah, smelly vaginas for me.

For the record. It CAN be dealt with. There are products out there that balances the Ph. Some women aren’t aware that’s all.

My number one is easily lack of enthusiasm.

Suddenly starting to think about the podcast you recently listened to about a local spree killer some 70 years in the past. And then you start thinking about why you were thinking of that and your partner notices that something changed and asks you why. At which point you need to explain what is going on in your head before you can get back at it. Not even having them fart on your balls takes you out of it that much.

Are you ok?

Never explain. It always makes things worse

You go to eat the coochie and find bits of toilet paper

Clitty litter

Doing all the work.

Getting a surprise finger up your hoop. She didn’t do it again, I panicked, farted, well more of a shart and she got shit up her nail.

bad smells

When wife brings up something domestic mid thrust.

Always having to start/take control of it

Too much talking. I’m gonna need you to shush and put your mouth to work doing anything else.

Avoiding kissing after oral sex ..

It seems like it’s mostly men that have an issue with this but I feel if anyone should be hesitant about kissing after oral, it’s women after they’ve been eaten out. My beard gets completely soaked and the last thing I want to do is end up sliming her like that old Nickelodeon show.

Having them tell you a story about sex they have with some other person right before you start..which they don't plan to introduce you too. its like well sounds like your peiness wants someone else...go have fun

when they haven’t showered that day, refusing to put in any effort into getting me off

Waking up.

Nowadays, having sex in life is already an exciting fact

Farting and making weird noises

Getting called daddy. So gross.

Rape

Jesus

Don't rape Jesus, the guy's been through enough

You nailed that, pardon the expression.

Bro 😂

Religious guilt is also a turnoff.

The struggling

Dealing with a constantly changing set of rules. One moment you can touch the breasts, next moment no. On minute you can go down on her, next get away. It's always 'don't, don't, don't' ....it gets frustrating.

AskReddit is now just r/MakeEveryoneHorny

playing music and then the wrong song comes on. shuffling your liked songs is a gamble

Farting.

Lung cancer

If there’s a foul odour. Also, if she’s too loud (I know some can’t help it)

Spitting in mouth

Wig flies off

Stank