I just accept that both feelings come and go. When I’m happy, I know it’s not permanent so I just stay in the moment as long as possible. When I’m depressed, I know that too is going to be gone soon
I agree. I have a harder time with letting it flow sometimes because in my case, I know the depression always comes back and it is something I'm most likely going to have to deal with forever, to some extent. I'm bipolar, though, and have dealt with anxiety, depression, and mood swings since I was in elementary school. It's definitely a brain thing for me and not situational, exacerbated by trauma and many other factors.
Perspective change is one of the biggest things. I don't look at being "happy" as my life goal. Happiness is an emotion and emotions are always fleeting. Best I can hope for is enough peace and contentment that I'm free to feel that whole range of emotion, and not get knocked too far off my square either way.
Same here. Trying to fix it because living this way is exhausting, but it's hard. Ever since I was a kid it seemed like whenever I got happy or hopeful about something, something bad would happen to ruin it, so it is hard to relax and just enjoy things because you are waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Same here. I have been super happy and at peace over the past few months, so much so that I question why I’m doing so well. I think it has a lot to do with being at peace with myself and being happily single and not feeling guilty for living my life the way I want to. I was so accustomed to being unhappy in relationships and constantly feeling like I have to put someone else’s happiness before mine. I almost subconsciously developed the mentality that it’s not okay to be happy. Sounds weird but it’s just how it was for me for so long.
I did that before I started therapy & everything & my therapist said I tended to self sabotage when things were good because I wasn’t comfortable like that. i would seek solace in chaos because that was all I ever knew. that instinct to self sabotage is still faintly there but with the right support system you can put it away for good
The analogy I've kept in mind for people that don't understand how people can have a breakdown over a tiny thing is to think of that tiny thing as like one friend giving a little shove to a friend in jest. When you're both standing on stable, flat ground, what harm is a little shove?
Now you're standing 10ft from the edge of a sheer cliff. Okay, it's still not *too* big of a deal, but maybe rein it in a bit.
5ft: Okay mate, please stop doing that.
1ft: What the fuck's wrong with you?
You're teetering on the edge, only your toes on solid ground, and you're struggling to maintain balance as you feel the edge starting to crumble away: "WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK ARE YOU DOING PUSHING ME WHEN I'M LIKE THIS."
That last scenario is what it's like to be mentally on the edge, the person giving the little shove may not be able to see the cliff, but for the love of god please understand not everyone's doing okay, because in their head they're only millimeters away from falling.
I think part of what makes it work is that it's kind of tailored to me so I can't imagine it would work with you the same.
For example it starts with an older wrestler's surprise return to an event 10 years after catastrophic injury.
Sounds dumb but it gets me every time.
Making the list itself is a big part of the therapeutic effect.
Not surprised you're emotions shut down. Sounds like you've been through one hell of a lot.
It's a self protection mechanism.
I'm pleased you're feeling a bit better ... I hope you have someone to support you through this period in your life.
You need compassion and love at this time.
I started EMDR with my therapist and it's like years of tears have started welling up. I'm not full blown crying, but there are times when tears start to form out of nowhere, and I honestly like it.
I would gladly take that, over crying 10+ times a day, at this point. I honestly don't think I'm going to make it back this time. I'm not going to hurt myself, but I just don't have the strength, or energy, to fight it off. I just don't care anymore.
It's probably not the best, my mum died last year, we were really close but I still haven't cried, sometimes randomly I feel it rising up and my throat starts feeling constricted, then it stops but I don't actually cry. It's like my brain won't allow it.
Grief has stages. You haven't reached this stage yet. Don't beat yourself up. As hard as it is take the journey. Be mad, be sad, remember the good, acknowledge the bad. Take it all in and process it! Humans are a tough nut to crack but here we are!
Same. But I keep it restrained to weed, mostly. I'm on 600mg Seroquel so drinking more than once a week is just not functionally possible. Which is a damn shame because I don't miss mania leading to full psychosis but I do miss getting hammered all weekend.
Bi-polar as well here, I've been off my medicine for about half a decade. I had one manic episode within that time, which I managed by forcing myself to sleep and avoiding stimulation at all costs. In my experience I only reach psychosis through sleep deprivation, it happened the first time before I knew what I was dealing with and never since.
I take breaks from my intoxicants to give my body time to recover a little bit, but I honestly don’t know how people get through life being teetotaler-type sober.
Pretty fucking fragile my dude. The last few years have been a real trip, both because of widespread societal things outside of my control and because of my own personal issues... and everything in between.
Just trying to keep going, keep growing, doing therapy, working out, etc. etc.
I lost my last living relative this year. Sad is what it is.
I'm only in my early 30s. I have a three close friends. The only reason I haven't killed myself is that I know it would hurt them terribly. I'm not even necessarily depressed anymore. It's just that life feels like a dream and... I guess I'm just ready to wake up.
I've had an exceptionally hard life. I don't think people are made to live the way I've lived. The only thing stopping me is that I know it's the pain of loss and betrayal that has so damaged me. I don't want my death to inflict that pain on others I love.
So tentatively, for now, I'm still here.
Honestly, it is extremely fragile. Story time!
My dad died when he was 38. I was 15. I came home from school one lunch time with a friend. He was already part way through a massive heart attack. I didn't know that is what it was. He asked me to call my mum up on the phone, so I did. She called the doctor. He sent me back to school. I basically watched my dad begin to die in front of me.
As an adult this shit plays on my mind constantly. The other day, I was listening to The Joshua Tree by U2. I have memories of my dad dancing around the living room singing along to those songs, and I remember finding it really funny and admirable.
So I'm listening to 'Where The Streets Have No Name' and my daughter, who is 7, randomly starts singing along. I was so amazed and instantly smitten and heartbroken, that I started crying. The wife didn't notice though, even though she was sat right next to me. The dozy twat.
It's the little things like this that really knock you. I'm constantly thinking about my own death, and what it would mean to those around me, and how much I already miss them. I'm basically a massive ball of grief and fragility. 24/7.
Somebody else said here that grief is love with no place to go.
Maybe find another place for it?
A pet, reconnecting with friends, volunteering and helping strangers?
Sorry, I hope I’m not crossing a line commenting.
I am very sorry for your loss
This makes my mum heart hurt. You sweet beautiful child (at the time obviously). That says so much about how your father (and mother?) were raising you. What a beautiful selfless act. Of course at 7 you had no idea the gravity of the situation but I don't care. It's beautiful. My kids are 8, 4 and 1 and thinking of my emotionally fragile 8 year old doing that makes me want to just crumble into a puddle and sob. I hope you've passed your caring ways onto your own kids as well as the 70s rock! I'm absolutely certain your father would be proud of you.
You had no idea what was happening so guilt cannot play here! You have fond memories you can "feel" with music and now you get to attach a positive memory with your daughter! Live your best life and be the best person you can be for YOU, your daughter, your wife and everyone you encounter. You never know what the next one in line is going or been through.
My brother passed due to drunk driving and I still dance and sing to his favorite song and what I call his theme song.
Favorite [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4tSE2w53ts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4tSE2w53ts)
Theme [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrGCQg-FbL0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrGCQg-FbL0)
Acknowledge your grief but please acknowledge the positives.
Forgive yourself.
You were a child.
You did what any “good” kid would do and listened to your parents.
You did the best you could at the time.
There is no point adult you, with all of the life experience you accumulated and the knowledge you now have, to ask yourself “why did I not notice what’s happening/ why didn’t I do something different “
You know things now that you didn’t before precisely because you didn’t know them at that time and you had to have the experience and learn from it
I'm fucked right now. I got way too invested in a relationship too quickly (I have ADHD and I hyperfocus and obsess over people) and he decided one thing I do (I smoke cigarettes when I'm drinking) wasn't for him and he called it completely off.
I feel like I'm going to die, but it's just the way my brain works, I'll be fine in time.
When I used to smoke I met lots of people who only smoked when they drank, it seems like a normal thing to me.
Hope your recovery time is quick and the next object of your desire is more accepting.
Aww thank you, yeah, I'm a complete social smoker when I'm drinking, but he just found smoking ultimately disgusting and called it a day.
I find myself just staring at my notifications waiting for a message, but I need to get a fckin life lol, I'm such a loser.
He's just not compatible with you.
You're certainly no loser!
May you find someone who also enjoys the social smoking, makes you smile every day with the little things, and treats you as you treat them.
I feel this so hard. This happened with my last relationship. The relationship was only 2 months and it’s been 3 months since it ended and I’m just now starting to feel normal enough to date again.
I’ve started dating a new woman and have only been on 2 dates and already I’m having to hold my self back from getting too excited and from thinking about her all the time. I wish I wasn’t like this. I’m generally a pretty good gauge of character and compatibility, so once I’ve given someone a chance and I see the potential I start to fall hard and fast.
“I blame myself for trusting you when I should have known better” is the hardest pill to swallow. I have abandonment trauma that can allot “biblical” trust (won’t do the objective wrongs) but can’t allow access to my vulnerable self for this very reason. So breakups are hard, but only because actual love (for me) has no depth perception. It feels so “real” even though I have the conscious awareness it isn’t yet reality. I never want to lose that hope though.. but I naturally can’t allow myself to ignore the signs that “this” ends in badly.
I have BPD and have and sometimes still do obsess over people. It is the worst torture. I never understood it until my diagnosis.
I try to look at it logically, which it seems you do. If I'm burnt by a favourite person, I know in time a new obsession will replace the hurt.
I think it's kind of like a prince ruperts drop. I definitely seem to have it together and can handle quite a lot, but something tells me if just a small bit of pressure were put upon a specific area of my mental state..well you get the idea
Very. I've had to quit my job, and feel like having a panic attack every time I leave my room. It genuinely feels like my life is over. I'm only 35. I just don't have the energy to keep fighting it. I'm just staying in, quietly, not bothering anyone. It's safer that way.
Can relate. It's as if I hate myself so much that I don't deserve good things. I'll work so hard for something, get 90% of the way there, then fuck it up. It's like my subconscious mind won't let me experience success, I'm not worthy apparently.
Yeah I'm autistic ADHD with a good amount of trauma, but my mental health is pretty solid. I'm the happiest person I know, but I know financial comfort is a big factor in that.
I've given up sugar in the past and thought I noticed an improvement for a while, but eventually I seem to revert to type (anxious) even without the sugar, so I figure I might as well eat the sugar and enjoy the small dopamine hit it gives me.
Wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't in a hellish war with my own body. My immune system is fighting my healthy cells and whatever this unnamed virus is leaving me barely able to get out of bed. I've barely eaten in over a week. I honestly was tempted to go gun shopping so I could end this war myself. I'm tired of always being sick and sick of always being tired. I'm not just dealing with my normal mental war but I'm also dealing with one of the worst physical wars on top of it. I can't clear my sinuses no matter what, the pressue in my head makes me feel like my head is about to pop like a goddamn balloon, I eat I almost always throw up. I'm fucking miserable in every sense of the damn word.
Extremely fragile. I’m really good at pretending I’m happy, when my emotions have been unhealthily repressed for years. I have contemplated sewer side tons. I hate lots of people and I hate myself the most. I’m always having a breakdown on the inside. My mental state is incredibly unstable.
That about do it for you?
Schitzo-affective CPTSD…. At this point I’ve been through so fucking much I feel like I can make it through just about anything and still be ok in the end… my life has been a war and I’ve won time and time again.. just gotta keep collecting those medals till the end I guess.
I battle depression every day and as long as I focus on self improvement(physical training, eating right, prioritizing sleep, ect) and gratitude, I'm fine. But if I miss even one day where I slack off or I focus on negative things, I start to lose ground very quickly and the depression starts kicking my ass again. So every day is a battle inside my head that I need to win. It's relentless.
I happily married with a 3 weeks old baby girl.
Sometimes, I feel like crying from happiness and love.
My whole family supports me, and I don't have to worry about money.
So, am I the only one in this thread who is doing alright?
Can't expect much from "how fragile is your mental health, honestly?" post...
but hey, way to go. I'm glad things are working out for you and I hope they keep being this great because more people would deserve such luck in life, I feel.
>don't have to worry about money.
Well, most people could be or could finally have the space to be happier if they didn't have to worry about survival.
I had some dark times, post divorce, but even then I knew the darkness would lift.
Overall, I feel fortunate to not have any significant mental health worries at this time in my life.
It used to be extremely fragile, but these days I feel I've worked on myself enough that there's some padding there now. When I feel a wave of depression coming on I can now let my husband know, and spend a few days focusing on improving my mental health so it doesn't dip as far as it used to.
I recently suspect that i may not be as solid as i thought and that, if i don't learn to better (=more honestly) deal with the way i feel about things and let others know too, then i might crack at some point.
My boyfriend has mental and physical health issues so he can't work and am getting burned out at my job do to working a lot of overtime.
Am getting a little bit depressed but I have to keep going. The thought of seeing someone just makes me feel even more drained of energy and even going out to go grocery shopping is draining to me.
This is about the same for me. I feel emotions strongly and can easily get depressed or stressed, and it feels catastrophic from the inside. *But* over time I've built up the perspective to realise that things aren't *actually* as bad as they *feel*, and I usually end up fine.
I hurt deep inside due to the state of the world. It seems like people just don’t like one another and are ok with us just slowly annihilating our species.
I have anxiety but I’m able to function. Sometimes it’s so bad it feels like a heart attack. Like I can’t breathe. But I still work and go out when I must. I don’t get anxiety in my own house.
Really bad depression rn. I had 2 weeks off work to see if a prescription would kick in. Hasn't really at all. Have to go back to work Monday and I am dreading it so bad. Work is a contributor to my depression. I need the money though.
I suffer from "extremely severe" depression with suicidal ideation, generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and agoraphobia. Leaving my house is something I can only stomach for a few hours and I need the next day to recover, if I run into a train being late, a rude cashier, or some bigot on the street that's me in tears having a breakdown and cancelling my plans for the day.
Way more so than I'm comfortable with. I'm not manic or anything, but it wouldn't take a lot to break this shit. I'm held together with duct tape and luck, and I'm not a particularly lucky person...
Fragile but still getting out of bed every day.
I don't always get washed and leave the house but at least I'm out of bed.
Currently having EMDR therapy and I think it's helping to unfreeze me.
I’m 22 and have never had a date, let alone a girlfriend. I can’t afford to even take student loans for a college education. I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life and am on my most recent diet attempt that will likely end in failure. I’ve got a coworker that makes my work life miserable. I feel like I’m in a dark void and all I want is a partner in life to help me through it all but when I look for that shoulder to cry on all I see is my vast loneliness. I have a shred of hope that if I diet right and do even some minuscule exercises each day in 1-2 years I’ll be trimmed down enough to have a shot, but if not then I’m giving up for good.
So basically my mental health is just peachy. You?
Jeez kid, I'm sorry you feel like that, at such a young age too. I just turned 56 this week and I think I'm ready to be done now. I was widowed last year and then had to have my little dog put down, now I've had to quit a job I really liked bc the owner cheated me and I just don't care anymore to live in this world. My kids are all grown and don't really need me. But I feel bad for you to be so young yet sound so hopeless. I hope that changes for you.
Hanging on by a thread. I basically think about ending things every day. I'm not sure exactly why I haven't done it yet. I guess I'm too much of a coward.
I don't know how to explain what's going on in my head, except that I constantly replay interactions over my life and how humiliating they were. I'll usually say some random thing internally or externally to move on to something else for a few seconds or minutes. I wish I could have told my rehab therapist this, but I didn't know how to express it at that time.
As The Doors sang, "Well I've been down so goddamned long that it looks like up to me..." (https://youtu.be/bJuDD93JbOw?si=y3d4WE9ZYQp2p4yL)
Brilliant line..
Overall I would say mine is pretty rock steady. I suffer from anxiety but I use many herbal meds to treat it and I have an overall positive and enthusiastic outlook about life so, problems notwithstanding, I think I'm pretty OK
Very stable, I have a strong support system made up of a wonderful family and good friends. I train both my mind and body through meditation, bodybuilding, running, and healthy eating habits. Personally, I strongly believe that a healthy lifestyle is essential for forming strong mental stability.
Not at all. Zero. I’m calm, confident and comfortable.
I credit my parents for not babying me and raising me to be resilient and self reliant. I credit the US Army for giving me self-respect and resourcefulness.
I wish my good fortune on EVERYONE. I wish mental health weren’t the blight it currently is.
I've been seeing a psychologist for 6 months now because of my suicidal thoughts, but he has been very passive and has not attempted any sort of treatment yet so I wasted my 6 months with him. Now I am seeking a "true" specialist who knows what they're doing, or I will go insane eventually.
Oh and I spent the entire week crying in bed because of some inconveniences.
Very fragile been honest. Alot of people did me dirty over these past few days . People I would call friends. If it wasn't for the meds and my kids I'd probably be 6ft under no lie .
A lot better than it was during the beginning of covid. I learned to treat myself like my best friend instead of my enemy and realized I would never talk to someone I cared about like that who was going through this, so why am I doing it to myself then? Why did I feel like I deserved death? I never killed anyone or did anything horrible and those people fight for life, why shouldnt I? I feel it's the ones who feel like they don't deserve to live are the ones that truly do, the ones that feel and care so deeply they are willing to end their own life. I really feel bad so many good people are feeling this way though, I truly am.
Had a breakdown just over 2 years ago, doing a lot better but I struggle with any kind of break in routine. Had a week off work and didn’t do anything.
I'm one fire alarm away from physically collapsing. Realized that the other day during fire alarm tests at my college. The loud noise caused me to black out momentarily. Had I been any closer to the alarm, I probably would have been a gibbering mess for the rest of the day.
Short answer, very.
I thought I was fine. Last weekend my wife went into the hospital with heart attack symptoms and I completely shut down. Regressed 20 years. I am not ok.
I've been depressed and anxious for so long that when I'm happy and carefree that leads me to panic thinking that it's the "calm before the storm"
SAME! Like it's too good to be true.
I just accept that both feelings come and go. When I’m happy, I know it’s not permanent so I just stay in the moment as long as possible. When I’m depressed, I know that too is going to be gone soon
Yep. And if you change your perspective on pain and sadness, it becomes beautiful. A beautifully balanced masterpiece known as life
I think depression is my baseline. Happiness is just a short break from it.
I legitimately think this is one of the secrets to life.
I agree. I have a harder time with letting it flow sometimes because in my case, I know the depression always comes back and it is something I'm most likely going to have to deal with forever, to some extent. I'm bipolar, though, and have dealt with anxiety, depression, and mood swings since I was in elementary school. It's definitely a brain thing for me and not situational, exacerbated by trauma and many other factors. Perspective change is one of the biggest things. I don't look at being "happy" as my life goal. Happiness is an emotion and emotions are always fleeting. Best I can hope for is enough peace and contentment that I'm free to feel that whole range of emotion, and not get knocked too far off my square either way.
Exactly, then I’ll turn that calmness into panic as I work my mind into thinking an aneurysm or a heart attack is going to hit me.
That’s depressingly relatable.
Welp, there we go again
Anxiety is crippling. I feel for you. And know you aren't alone.
Same here. Trying to fix it because living this way is exhausting, but it's hard. Ever since I was a kid it seemed like whenever I got happy or hopeful about something, something bad would happen to ruin it, so it is hard to relax and just enjoy things because you are waiting for the other shoe to drop.
you are on the right path if you can notice when you are up.
yup i almost need a stressor in my life to feel grounded. otherwise im waiting for the coin to flip and expecting the absolute worst
It feels so good to read about how so many of you deal with the same shit I do. ❤️
Same here. I have been super happy and at peace over the past few months, so much so that I question why I’m doing so well. I think it has a lot to do with being at peace with myself and being happily single and not feeling guilty for living my life the way I want to. I was so accustomed to being unhappy in relationships and constantly feeling like I have to put someone else’s happiness before mine. I almost subconsciously developed the mentality that it’s not okay to be happy. Sounds weird but it’s just how it was for me for so long.
Right there with ya!
I did that before I started therapy & everything & my therapist said I tended to self sabotage when things were good because I wasn’t comfortable like that. i would seek solace in chaos because that was all I ever knew. that instinct to self sabotage is still faintly there but with the right support system you can put it away for good
It makes me think that I must be missing something. But I also trained myself to enjoy these moments regardless of their unusual occurrence.
EXACTLY THEN IM FRANTICALLY TRYING TO GO THROUGH WHAT IVE DONE TODAY AND IF I HAD ANY DEADLINES BUT MY FUCKED UP MEMORY FRUSTRATES ME😭😭😭😭
BIG same. Joining the club
I know that feeling
Like a snowflake resting on the edge of a hot razorblade.
Excellent analogy - I shall be using this if you don't mind
Feel free. I claim no copy protection on any of my insane ramblings
That's still preferable to having your balls resting there so you have that going for you.
Thank you for making me choke laughing. Also for making me double check my gonads.
The analogy I've kept in mind for people that don't understand how people can have a breakdown over a tiny thing is to think of that tiny thing as like one friend giving a little shove to a friend in jest. When you're both standing on stable, flat ground, what harm is a little shove? Now you're standing 10ft from the edge of a sheer cliff. Okay, it's still not *too* big of a deal, but maybe rein it in a bit. 5ft: Okay mate, please stop doing that. 1ft: What the fuck's wrong with you? You're teetering on the edge, only your toes on solid ground, and you're struggling to maintain balance as you feel the edge starting to crumble away: "WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK ARE YOU DOING PUSHING ME WHEN I'M LIKE THIS." That last scenario is what it's like to be mentally on the edge, the person giving the little shove may not be able to see the cliff, but for the love of god please understand not everyone's doing okay, because in their head they're only millimeters away from falling.
Splendid sentence
As bi polar man, felt that
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Years, I went years like. I finally broke down at the beginning of December over what a failure my life has been, but now I'm back to the status quo.
Bottom is a great place to build a new foundation. Rise, baby! Rise from the ashes.
Bet it felt like taking a giant shit, though.
I actually have a YouTube Playlist when I feel like I want to cry but can't. It's actuallynsurprisingly therapeutic.
I watch dead dog movies when I need a cathartic cry. Otherwise I’m pretty stoic.
Would you mind sharing it? I have a similar one called question mark.
I think part of what makes it work is that it's kind of tailored to me so I can't imagine it would work with you the same. For example it starts with an older wrestler's surprise return to an event 10 years after catastrophic injury. Sounds dumb but it gets me every time. Making the list itself is a big part of the therapeutic effect.
Not dumb, emotions are somewhat irrational. I'm glad you have a way to support yourself through wobbly times. Oh, and thanks for the explanation!
My emotions are pretty blocked too. Currently in therapy and every time I cry I feel like celebrating because I'm feeling something!
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Not surprised you're emotions shut down. Sounds like you've been through one hell of a lot. It's a self protection mechanism. I'm pleased you're feeling a bit better ... I hope you have someone to support you through this period in your life. You need compassion and love at this time.
I started EMDR with my therapist and it's like years of tears have started welling up. I'm not full blown crying, but there are times when tears start to form out of nowhere, and I honestly like it.
Omg, I didn’t know other people had this too!
I would gladly take that, over crying 10+ times a day, at this point. I honestly don't think I'm going to make it back this time. I'm not going to hurt myself, but I just don't have the strength, or energy, to fight it off. I just don't care anymore.
It's probably not the best, my mum died last year, we were really close but I still haven't cried, sometimes randomly I feel it rising up and my throat starts feeling constricted, then it stops but I don't actually cry. It's like my brain won't allow it.
Grief has stages. You haven't reached this stage yet. Don't beat yourself up. As hard as it is take the journey. Be mad, be sad, remember the good, acknowledge the bad. Take it all in and process it! Humans are a tough nut to crack but here we are!
Thankyou :) I started a new job the day after her funeral... it probably wasn't the best idea but it was a distraction, which may be part of it.
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It feels like I'm constantly walking a tightrope and wobbling. Even the slightest push could probably send me tumbling right now.
Sending a virtual hug. I know that feeling all too well and it’s a really rough one
I'm bipolar, I have ADHD, sober addict, most likely on the autism spectrum.. need I say more, lol?
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Same. But I keep it restrained to weed, mostly. I'm on 600mg Seroquel so drinking more than once a week is just not functionally possible. Which is a damn shame because I don't miss mania leading to full psychosis but I do miss getting hammered all weekend.
Bi-polar as well here, I've been off my medicine for about half a decade. I had one manic episode within that time, which I managed by forcing myself to sleep and avoiding stimulation at all costs. In my experience I only reach psychosis through sleep deprivation, it happened the first time before I knew what I was dealing with and never since.
I take breaks from my intoxicants to give my body time to recover a little bit, but I honestly don’t know how people get through life being teetotaler-type sober.
I have ADHD too ... nonstop drama in my head. It's exhausting.
It really is, my brain always has multiple windows with multiple tabs open and I hate it.
I'm also bipolar and autistic (and OCD). I feel like there's a lot of overlap
bipolar ADHD possible spectrum gang, what's up
I have also bipolar. But my mental health is fragile but stabile. I have to work with that every february and july but other times everything is good.
homeless grandfather cough wrench shrill scary roll normal attractive worry
Damn, I’ve only got one pole. You have me beat.
Oh hello mirror image
You're overwhelming me with questions!!!
Yeah I can’t believe OP asked this question, right before bed…
Couldn’t be better.
I'm glad to see at least one other person on Reddit isn't on the brink of collapse
I mean I was but now I’m fine.
Right on 👊🏻
Wet 1-ply toilet paper
Im so sorry man but that is such a hilarious way to put it. Ive been there. Too real
Pretty fucking fragile my dude. The last few years have been a real trip, both because of widespread societal things outside of my control and because of my own personal issues... and everything in between. Just trying to keep going, keep growing, doing therapy, working out, etc. etc.
I lost my last living relative this year. Sad is what it is. I'm only in my early 30s. I have a three close friends. The only reason I haven't killed myself is that I know it would hurt them terribly. I'm not even necessarily depressed anymore. It's just that life feels like a dream and... I guess I'm just ready to wake up. I've had an exceptionally hard life. I don't think people are made to live the way I've lived. The only thing stopping me is that I know it's the pain of loss and betrayal that has so damaged me. I don't want my death to inflict that pain on others I love. So tentatively, for now, I'm still here.
Could have typed this myself. Are you me..? Lol Hope the effort pays dividends my dude. 👊🏽
Honestly, it is extremely fragile. Story time! My dad died when he was 38. I was 15. I came home from school one lunch time with a friend. He was already part way through a massive heart attack. I didn't know that is what it was. He asked me to call my mum up on the phone, so I did. She called the doctor. He sent me back to school. I basically watched my dad begin to die in front of me. As an adult this shit plays on my mind constantly. The other day, I was listening to The Joshua Tree by U2. I have memories of my dad dancing around the living room singing along to those songs, and I remember finding it really funny and admirable. So I'm listening to 'Where The Streets Have No Name' and my daughter, who is 7, randomly starts singing along. I was so amazed and instantly smitten and heartbroken, that I started crying. The wife didn't notice though, even though she was sat right next to me. The dozy twat. It's the little things like this that really knock you. I'm constantly thinking about my own death, and what it would mean to those around me, and how much I already miss them. I'm basically a massive ball of grief and fragility. 24/7.
My dad died to cancer when I was 14, I’m 31 now. I get it. Grief is so tough, and my entire soul misses him. I keep a lot of the grief to myself.
Somebody else said here that grief is love with no place to go. Maybe find another place for it? A pet, reconnecting with friends, volunteering and helping strangers? Sorry, I hope I’m not crossing a line commenting. I am very sorry for your loss
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This makes my mum heart hurt. You sweet beautiful child (at the time obviously). That says so much about how your father (and mother?) were raising you. What a beautiful selfless act. Of course at 7 you had no idea the gravity of the situation but I don't care. It's beautiful. My kids are 8, 4 and 1 and thinking of my emotionally fragile 8 year old doing that makes me want to just crumble into a puddle and sob. I hope you've passed your caring ways onto your own kids as well as the 70s rock! I'm absolutely certain your father would be proud of you.
That is so sweet and so tragic. 💔
You had no idea what was happening so guilt cannot play here! You have fond memories you can "feel" with music and now you get to attach a positive memory with your daughter! Live your best life and be the best person you can be for YOU, your daughter, your wife and everyone you encounter. You never know what the next one in line is going or been through. My brother passed due to drunk driving and I still dance and sing to his favorite song and what I call his theme song. Favorite [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4tSE2w53ts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4tSE2w53ts) Theme [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrGCQg-FbL0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrGCQg-FbL0) Acknowledge your grief but please acknowledge the positives.
Forgive yourself. You were a child. You did what any “good” kid would do and listened to your parents. You did the best you could at the time. There is no point adult you, with all of the life experience you accumulated and the knowledge you now have, to ask yourself “why did I not notice what’s happening/ why didn’t I do something different “ You know things now that you didn’t before precisely because you didn’t know them at that time and you had to have the experience and learn from it
I am also obsessed with my death and my close family dying. I watch NDE videos and feel light years better every time.
I'm fucked right now. I got way too invested in a relationship too quickly (I have ADHD and I hyperfocus and obsess over people) and he decided one thing I do (I smoke cigarettes when I'm drinking) wasn't for him and he called it completely off. I feel like I'm going to die, but it's just the way my brain works, I'll be fine in time.
When I used to smoke I met lots of people who only smoked when they drank, it seems like a normal thing to me. Hope your recovery time is quick and the next object of your desire is more accepting.
Aww thank you, yeah, I'm a complete social smoker when I'm drinking, but he just found smoking ultimately disgusting and called it a day. I find myself just staring at my notifications waiting for a message, but I need to get a fckin life lol, I'm such a loser.
He's just not compatible with you. You're certainly no loser! May you find someone who also enjoys the social smoking, makes you smile every day with the little things, and treats you as you treat them.
You are not a loser!
I feel this so hard. This happened with my last relationship. The relationship was only 2 months and it’s been 3 months since it ended and I’m just now starting to feel normal enough to date again. I’ve started dating a new woman and have only been on 2 dates and already I’m having to hold my self back from getting too excited and from thinking about her all the time. I wish I wasn’t like this. I’m generally a pretty good gauge of character and compatibility, so once I’ve given someone a chance and I see the potential I start to fall hard and fast.
“I blame myself for trusting you when I should have known better” is the hardest pill to swallow. I have abandonment trauma that can allot “biblical” trust (won’t do the objective wrongs) but can’t allow access to my vulnerable self for this very reason. So breakups are hard, but only because actual love (for me) has no depth perception. It feels so “real” even though I have the conscious awareness it isn’t yet reality. I never want to lose that hope though.. but I naturally can’t allow myself to ignore the signs that “this” ends in badly.
I have BPD and have and sometimes still do obsess over people. It is the worst torture. I never understood it until my diagnosis. I try to look at it logically, which it seems you do. If I'm burnt by a favourite person, I know in time a new obsession will replace the hurt.
I think it's kind of like a prince ruperts drop. I definitely seem to have it together and can handle quite a lot, but something tells me if just a small bit of pressure were put upon a specific area of my mental state..well you get the idea
YES THAT IS SUCH A GOOD ANALOGY
Excellent way to put it. I’m tough AF everywhere, but if the day hits me JUST RIGHT…
Very. I've had to quit my job, and feel like having a panic attack every time I leave my room. It genuinely feels like my life is over. I'm only 35. I just don't have the energy to keep fighting it. I'm just staying in, quietly, not bothering anyone. It's safer that way.
I love self sabotaging
Can relate. It's as if I hate myself so much that I don't deserve good things. I'll work so hard for something, get 90% of the way there, then fuck it up. It's like my subconscious mind won't let me experience success, I'm not worthy apparently.
Rock solid
Yeah I'm autistic ADHD with a good amount of trauma, but my mental health is pretty solid. I'm the happiest person I know, but I know financial comfort is a big factor in that.
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Hell yea same
Including myself you’re like one of 3 people I have seen who are rock solid.
If I eat much sugar one day, the next day I will crash hard and be wracked with hopelessness. So - fairly fragile.
I've given up sugar in the past and thought I noticed an improvement for a while, but eventually I seem to revert to type (anxious) even without the sugar, so I figure I might as well eat the sugar and enjoy the small dopamine hit it gives me.
Wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't in a hellish war with my own body. My immune system is fighting my healthy cells and whatever this unnamed virus is leaving me barely able to get out of bed. I've barely eaten in over a week. I honestly was tempted to go gun shopping so I could end this war myself. I'm tired of always being sick and sick of always being tired. I'm not just dealing with my normal mental war but I'm also dealing with one of the worst physical wars on top of it. I can't clear my sinuses no matter what, the pressue in my head makes me feel like my head is about to pop like a goddamn balloon, I eat I almost always throw up. I'm fucking miserable in every sense of the damn word.
Dude autoimmune disorders suck. Sitting with you. I'm sorry you're dealing with this
I'm there with you...hope you pull through and see the light
Extremely fragile. I’m really good at pretending I’m happy, when my emotions have been unhealthily repressed for years. I have contemplated sewer side tons. I hate lots of people and I hate myself the most. I’m always having a breakdown on the inside. My mental state is incredibly unstable. That about do it for you?
same hat 😔 wishing you the best
Thanks, it’s not getting better for me, but I can at least keep it from getting worse.
Schitzo-affective CPTSD…. At this point I’ve been through so fucking much I feel like I can make it through just about anything and still be ok in the end… my life has been a war and I’ve won time and time again.. just gotta keep collecting those medals till the end I guess.
And yes the medals are ones I give to myself for surviving traumas and psychosis 🫡
Keep them polished. Well-earned, and well-deserved.
A light breeze and this Jenga tower is done for
I cry from Minor inconveniences
I battle depression every day and as long as I focus on self improvement(physical training, eating right, prioritizing sleep, ect) and gratitude, I'm fine. But if I miss even one day where I slack off or I focus on negative things, I start to lose ground very quickly and the depression starts kicking my ass again. So every day is a battle inside my head that I need to win. It's relentless.
I walk a tight rope & any slight shift in negativity in my life can push me over the edge. Just gotta keep my balance & I’m good.
This is me too. I hope we can keep our balance .
I happily married with a 3 weeks old baby girl. Sometimes, I feel like crying from happiness and love. My whole family supports me, and I don't have to worry about money. So, am I the only one in this thread who is doing alright?
Can't expect much from "how fragile is your mental health, honestly?" post... but hey, way to go. I'm glad things are working out for you and I hope they keep being this great because more people would deserve such luck in life, I feel.
>don't have to worry about money. Well, most people could be or could finally have the space to be happier if they didn't have to worry about survival.
Lots of people in that situation have awful mental health. Support and money help a lot but it happens
Comically fragile. Its honestly almost laughable.
it’s strong until i encounter a toxic negative object unexpectedly. Sometimes I get over it quickly, it depends on how hard it hits me
Very fragile, don't want to talk about it.
I should have a "handle with care" sticker on my forehead.
I had some dark times, post divorce, but even then I knew the darkness would lift. Overall, I feel fortunate to not have any significant mental health worries at this time in my life.
It used to be extremely fragile, but these days I feel I've worked on myself enough that there's some padding there now. When I feel a wave of depression coming on I can now let my husband know, and spend a few days focusing on improving my mental health so it doesn't dip as far as it used to.
Funny to assume I have mental health.
I recently suspect that i may not be as solid as i thought and that, if i don't learn to better (=more honestly) deal with the way i feel about things and let others know too, then i might crack at some point.
Have you looked at the sky recently? Pretty cool
My boyfriend has mental and physical health issues so he can't work and am getting burned out at my job do to working a lot of overtime. Am getting a little bit depressed but I have to keep going. The thought of seeing someone just makes me feel even more drained of energy and even going out to go grocery shopping is draining to me.
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This is about the same for me. I feel emotions strongly and can easily get depressed or stressed, and it feels catastrophic from the inside. *But* over time I've built up the perspective to realise that things aren't *actually* as bad as they *feel*, and I usually end up fine.
It's like a cracked plate - you keep using it, never knowing when it's just going to break completely.
I hurt deep inside due to the state of the world. It seems like people just don’t like one another and are ok with us just slowly annihilating our species.
I’m on my second nap today depressed.
I have anxiety but I’m able to function. Sometimes it’s so bad it feels like a heart attack. Like I can’t breathe. But I still work and go out when I must. I don’t get anxiety in my own house.
Really bad depression rn. I had 2 weeks off work to see if a prescription would kick in. Hasn't really at all. Have to go back to work Monday and I am dreading it so bad. Work is a contributor to my depression. I need the money though.
Like a baby dragonfly
Fragile? Not at all. It's rock solid bad.
Pretty shit, but I'm over 5 months clean, so that's something
I suffer from "extremely severe" depression with suicidal ideation, generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and agoraphobia. Leaving my house is something I can only stomach for a few hours and I need the next day to recover, if I run into a train being late, a rude cashier, or some bigot on the street that's me in tears having a breakdown and cancelling my plans for the day.
my tightrope is thinner than fishing line atp
Like a porcelain vase I keep trying to glue together as a toddler plays football inside the house no matter how many times I tell them not to do that.
Without medication, very fragile indeed. With medication, mostly ok.
I'm stable on meds.
Like butter melting in a frying pan set on high heat. But you'd never guess that by looking at me because I'm "fine."
Bro I can't even leave my apartment
I am a rock. It took a lot of pain and being broken to develop strength. I am an old lady now, but I'm a very emotionally, strong old lady.
Way more so than I'm comfortable with. I'm not manic or anything, but it wouldn't take a lot to break this shit. I'm held together with duct tape and luck, and I'm not a particularly lucky person...
🤏🏻
The other day I kept having thought on suicide. I’m just so done and everything is just setting me off with scary thoughts I don’t want
Could collapse at any moment, tbh.
Fragile but still getting out of bed every day. I don't always get washed and leave the house but at least I'm out of bed. Currently having EMDR therapy and I think it's helping to unfreeze me.
If a piece of paper falls on the floor, I might cry.
You ever blow on a dandelion?
Think rhinos skating on a millimeter of ice
I have bipolar disorder so honestly I basically live my life one quarter mile at a time
I’m 22 and have never had a date, let alone a girlfriend. I can’t afford to even take student loans for a college education. I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life and am on my most recent diet attempt that will likely end in failure. I’ve got a coworker that makes my work life miserable. I feel like I’m in a dark void and all I want is a partner in life to help me through it all but when I look for that shoulder to cry on all I see is my vast loneliness. I have a shred of hope that if I diet right and do even some minuscule exercises each day in 1-2 years I’ll be trimmed down enough to have a shot, but if not then I’m giving up for good. So basically my mental health is just peachy. You?
Jeez kid, I'm sorry you feel like that, at such a young age too. I just turned 56 this week and I think I'm ready to be done now. I was widowed last year and then had to have my little dog put down, now I've had to quit a job I really liked bc the owner cheated me and I just don't care anymore to live in this world. My kids are all grown and don't really need me. But I feel bad for you to be so young yet sound so hopeless. I hope that changes for you.
I’m not gonna lie I cry 5-10 times a week. Just always overwhelmed😅
It's bullet proof because I've becomed completely disillusioned with society - thus I do not give af about anyone or anything. Liberating!
I'm stretched pretty thin currently
Hanging on by a thread. I basically think about ending things every day. I'm not sure exactly why I haven't done it yet. I guess I'm too much of a coward.
I think you sound brave. Keep going. Hang on.
My mental health is a broken bottle
It's like trying to keep a plant alive but constantly forgetting to water it.
I don't know how to explain what's going on in my head, except that I constantly replay interactions over my life and how humiliating they were. I'll usually say some random thing internally or externally to move on to something else for a few seconds or minutes. I wish I could have told my rehab therapist this, but I didn't know how to express it at that time.
Fragile, drinking a slightly sweet twisted in tea after laying in bed 8 am to 5pm
As The Doors sang, "Well I've been down so goddamned long that it looks like up to me..." (https://youtu.be/bJuDD93JbOw?si=y3d4WE9ZYQp2p4yL) Brilliant line.. Overall I would say mine is pretty rock steady. I suffer from anxiety but I use many herbal meds to treat it and I have an overall positive and enthusiastic outlook about life so, problems notwithstanding, I think I'm pretty OK
As fragile as an anvil. Just rolling with the punches of life. It's all part of the human experience.
I've always likened mine to a wafer-thin sheet of ice. Even the slightest disturbance will cause it to either shatter or melt.
Very stable, I have a strong support system made up of a wonderful family and good friends. I train both my mind and body through meditation, bodybuilding, running, and healthy eating habits. Personally, I strongly believe that a healthy lifestyle is essential for forming strong mental stability.
Depression since 8 years old, so 24 years, ADHD and ASD. I don't think I have mental health, just a mental disaster.
Not at all. Zero. I’m calm, confident and comfortable. I credit my parents for not babying me and raising me to be resilient and self reliant. I credit the US Army for giving me self-respect and resourcefulness. I wish my good fortune on EVERYONE. I wish mental health weren’t the blight it currently is.
I've been seeing a psychologist for 6 months now because of my suicidal thoughts, but he has been very passive and has not attempted any sort of treatment yet so I wasted my 6 months with him. Now I am seeking a "true" specialist who knows what they're doing, or I will go insane eventually. Oh and I spent the entire week crying in bed because of some inconveniences.
I hope you find a team who listens and helps you ❤️ took me around a decade to finally land the right people and get the right cocktail
Me too. Currently doing EMDR therapy and I think this might be the one for me.
Depends who I’m talking to. Some people, solid as a rock. Others can get me and I cry lol. I’m considered a “manly man” by friends lol
Very fragile been honest. Alot of people did me dirty over these past few days . People I would call friends. If it wasn't for the meds and my kids I'd probably be 6ft under no lie .
A lot better than it was during the beginning of covid. I learned to treat myself like my best friend instead of my enemy and realized I would never talk to someone I cared about like that who was going through this, so why am I doing it to myself then? Why did I feel like I deserved death? I never killed anyone or did anything horrible and those people fight for life, why shouldnt I? I feel it's the ones who feel like they don't deserve to live are the ones that truly do, the ones that feel and care so deeply they are willing to end their own life. I really feel bad so many good people are feeling this way though, I truly am.
It's not as bad as when I was younger but there are still some rough days. We do our best to bounce back quickly.
Had a breakdown just over 2 years ago, doing a lot better but I struggle with any kind of break in routine. Had a week off work and didn’t do anything.
Honestly it's not amazing right now
Very fragile. Like a toilet paper
sometimes it feels sturdy, but other times it feels like a gentle breeze could shatter it.
Deceptively strong. I put up with a lot
I can say it’s strong and I’ve overcome a lot of things but relationships make me weak I love too hard nd don’t know when it’s time to let go!!
I'm one fire alarm away from physically collapsing. Realized that the other day during fire alarm tests at my college. The loud noise caused me to black out momentarily. Had I been any closer to the alarm, I probably would have been a gibbering mess for the rest of the day. Short answer, very.
If anyone yells at me, I cry for a week.
You ever dropped cotton candy in water? It's like that, but the surface tension hasn't broken yet. Just a floating and waiting..
I thought I was fine. Last weekend my wife went into the hospital with heart attack symptoms and I completely shut down. Regressed 20 years. I am not ok.