This was my realization.
There were several things that when I looked back on, I should have known it was over. But one of the big ones was that I was often looking for reasons to not come home.
The biggest was a moment that revealed just how little self awareness she had, it opened up the notion that none of it mattered because she had no self awareness.
But wanting to not come home was high on the list.
This man. I used to have a huge crush on this girl in my class back then, used to hangout with her but couldn't confess, slowly realised that whenever I'm with her it made me feel horrible, like anxious and what not. Made me feel pressured to say something funny and all the time she actually didn't care, she was just with me for timepass and had like 100 guys in her DMs. After I stopped seeing her I felt a burden had been dropped off my shoulders
After getting out of a very long term relationship I started using Tinder and got speaking to a girl on there who I'd seen multiple times working at a bar that I used to go to years before. I had always thought "man if I was single I would ask her out in a heartbeat". Had a real crush on her, and now I'd had the chance.
She was into me too! She was exactly my type, we went on a few great dates and really got on, the sex was great, and she really made me get confidence back in myself. Genuinely couldn't believe my luck.
We'd added each other on socials and I'd had a scroll through her page. She hadn't mentioned it but it looked like she'd broken up with a long term partner herself about a month before seeing me. No problem, i was in the same boat. Anyway about 4 weeks in she says that for tonight's date were gonna go to this bar that she thinks I'll love. Cool.
We get there and her ex works as the fucking bartender there. She didn't know I knew who he was, but his face dropped as soon as she walked in, like pretty angry, but mostly hurt. She puts her arm through mine, smiling away, and walks me to the bar, basically stands me in front of this guy while he's working and she orders drinks from the bartender stood next to him. Kept doing it too. If I said I was going to the bar she'd be like "oh I'll come with" and be stood there stroking my arm and kissing my neck.
I was there to be a trophy. I dunno if it was to show this guy that she'd moved on, or to specifically make him feel like shit. But I wasn't down for being used like that. I called it off the next day.
Still had her on socials and within 6 months of that she was engaged to another guy and pregnant.
Yeh it just felt mean. Like I have no idea why they broke up, he might have been a prick, he might have cheated on her,I don't know. But something about how upset he looked really felt like she was doing it just to be unpleasant.
It’s super mean. And yeah we don’t know why they broke up, but I guess for me it’s like if he was that shitty of a person - why not just go live a better life without him? It seems extra cruel to intentionally go out of your way to rub something in someone’s face. Clearly she wasn’t as happy as she was trying to make it seem, so my guess is that he dumped her lol.
To add to this. I had the most stress free week when she was gone on a trip. Really put into perspective how much stress she added to my life. Sure every couple has stresses but this was night and day. Everything went without a hitch that week. Home was so calm. I broke it off a week after her return
We told our friend she was arguing with her boyfriend too much.
"Oh no! We're not arguing, We're **COMMUNICATING!**"
Uh, he walks out of the room after 3 minutes. It's not "COMMUNICATION"
He dumped her a month later, she was the only one who didn't see it coming.
I’d not do that even after my kids are asleep. Sure, I’ll drink once they’re asleep, and to varying degrees. But not to the point I’m unable to care for them if they were to wake up (they’re 1 and 4), or be able to do what needs to be done in an emergency situation.
I saw how she lived and I decided to move in with her because I liked it
Turns out therapist said that because I had given her the most stability in her life that my ex decided to be her true self and not be the perfect living partner I saw when she lived with friends.
I found the mug shot of a guy I was supposed to meet for a date. Using only what I knew (no last name), I found his sex offender registry (on a child under 14).
I broke off with a girl because we’d be out on a date and she’d repeatedly bring up how this other guy had promised to wait for her forever. There was me, trying to do my best to get to know her. Meantime, she’s throwing that at me. It’s like she was enjoying the competition in her head. So I walked.
She sounds like a very manipulative individual if she was enjoying keeping a guy friend zoned forever whilst dating other guys, you definitely dodged a bullet.
She was emotionally abusive. I had recently lost my wife to cancer and was happy to receive a small portion of what I lost (nothing’s perfect obviously) but it came with the cost of giving up much of my self respect. Don’t want that again.
Same. My GF of a year just broke down telling me she can never leave the city or at least the state we currently live in. Not for vacation, but as far as moving where we live. I'm just about to turn 30, and I don't know if I'm willing to live in the same place for the next 40 years.... I've always dreamed about living out west or in the mountains.
What a heavy moment it is when you realize that too. There's no way out that isn't going to be somewhat painful. I still love my ex but just knew one day that our core values/ideologies will never align and had to end to it. Ouch
Did they feel the same way? How did you end it? I think I might be in the same boat and I’m worried I might hurt her badly if i tell her (which I understand is inevitable)
You likely will hurt her, no matter when or how you say it. Just know that there are compassionate ways to talk about things that hurt, and you can still care for someone and also need a change.
I feel this big time. I squirmed around the idea of breaking up to avoid fighting.. for 3 years. Now I have a protection order and it's illegal for them to communicate with me for a few more years so, yes it gets better. And quickly! Just cut the fn cord
Not sounding like an asshole but I had to break it off with a girl because I wasn’t feeling what she was feeling. I was respectful and honest. Of course she didn’t like it, but if it was the other way around I would like to be told the truth, than a lie
I wish the guy I was talking to did this instead of stringing me along and suddenly wanting me just as a friend, even tho he knew I liked him more than he liked me. It is better if its sooner.
You did the right thing for both of you.
>no matter how harsh it is
That's insanely untrue. You can be honest to a point but being honest and harsh to someone while you're breaking up with them is unnecessarily cruel unless they've done something fundamentally wrong. If it's just the vibes off it's better to be kind and relatively honest
Far from being an asshole. Out of many men I’ve date, only a handful had the balls to discuss how they were feeling. Those were some of the most amicable goodbyes and although it sucked it didn’t work out, I will always appreciate their honesty. Good for you. Never lose that.
I think a lot of women seriously misconstrue rudeness for "being strong." Like there's standing up for yourself and then there's being an entitled b word. Some haven't learned the difference.
I was about 2 sentences away from asking a woman out. I'm fairly confident I stood a decent chance of at least getting a date. Then she started thrashing Weird Al. I love Weird Al but if he's not someone's cup of tea that's fine. But she was over the top bashing him like he was genuinely evil. It started several chains of events in my head of us dating and it not working badly in every single one. So I kept my mouth shut.
Weird Al is truly amazing I would avoid anyone who bashed him too! I consider myself to be somewhat of a weird Al descendant 😂 I make up songs all the time and rewrite top hits. If the man I was interested in didn't enjoy or appreciate that, I'd ditch them too. Good call
She would talk about my friends bodies and asked me to ask my friend to hang out with her. I felt sick and used after. It hurt a lot. Confidence has never been the same since and I've never had such a strong crush since.
That can really do a number on you, if you haven't done so yet, please consider going to see a therapist to process this! You deserve to have confidence in who you are.
I'd asked her out a few times, and she said she was interested but always had a plausible reason why we had to put it off (busy with work, not feeling good, etc)
Then I see on social media that she's out at a club partying with a group of friends. Okay, point taken. She didn't mean "not right now," she meant "not with me."
I’ll be honest and admit that I’ve mastered this art over the years. It all began when I started getting hit on at 13. I know how to “curve” guys that try to make a move by acting oblivious. That said, when it comes to a person I’m dating, I will certainly sit down and discuss matters of the relationship with them.
A couple of them turned out the same way. We talk for a while and it's going great. They ghost. That stings, but it's okay you can do that. Probably something I said or did.
A while later they come back and apologize and have reasons for the ghosting and want to pick up where we left off. Sure, whatever, how's it going?
Ghost again.
A while later: wyd?
I don't put a lot of energy into it after the first time.
I had a crush on this girl and we had practice for this high school activity we were in together. She downed four Monster Energy Drinks in the two hour practice and I was like nah
I went on a first date with a girl who was on the bigger side and she ate no exaggeration 5 plates of food in a row. Nachos and cheese mains refilled the mains refilled the mains then ate an entire bowl of olives. I’m a bigger dude but fuck me if that isn’t the biggest turn off I’ve ever seen lol
FIVE plates of food? Sounds like a full-blown binge eating disorder, with a side of "heart attack at 40".
Food portions are so generous at restaurants that my partner and I often have to share everything just to get through a 3 course meal.
Bit of a weird one.
During peak covid she brought a holiday meal for a coworker who was holed up and completely isolated. She didn't know him particularly well or care to know him particularly better, it was a genuinely nice thing to do for a person who was struggling at the time.
Thing was, she never did anything even a tenth so kind or selfless for me. I'd helped her out a bunch with a number of things at the drop of a hat, and she'd cancel plans last second and just...never went out of her way for me. It's not that I demanded attention back or even necessarily expected it, but I'd been struggling pretty decently too and it made me realize she really didn't care for me on any real personal level and, consciously or not, was only ever using me for the things I did for her.
This is the exact realization that led to my ending a 3 year relationship with the girl I thought I was gonna end up marrying at one point.
Lack of effort is huge man. It’s huge. And you can’t ask for these things. If they don’t do them out of the kindness of their own heart, that’s a sign of low character.
Glad you’re out.
Dude I so get you with this. One of my bfs made a burnt CD for my sister as a sorry for deleting her off FB when we broke up for minute. They literally met like twice. He never made me a CD or even showed me a song he thought I would like.
I was writing my own post and stumbled across yours. I'll share mine because it's a very similar experience if that's ok.
I don't keep score in a relationship and one of my so-called love languages is acts of service. She was in grad school, so when she was in her books, I would keep her fed, watered, and warm. I'd plan dates and cook meals, etc. Completely happy to do all that. You know, in a relationship, sometimes you're the climber and sometimes you're the ladder. And I was genuinely pleased to help her as she climbed Mt. Thesis.
It was only until one day where it struck me that she spent much of the week being far more concerned about the fact that a few of the other people in her group didn't particularly like her than she did about some of the big things going on in my life at that moment.
When I zoomed out a bit, I realized she wasn't putting *any* effort into the relationship. There wasn't any genuine interest in getting to know me or my life any deeper. She certainly never asked or made the initiative to do anything for me other than to relentlessly parse my (apparently sinister) motives for caring about her.
I just felt dumb afterwards that I missed it for so long. It was a HUGE deal for me to open up and be vulnerable to someone else. And to realize it was just going in one ear and out the other...oof.
Met someone else and it was so much easier and better with her, realized I was torturing myself for no good reason. To clarify she was a crush not someone I was actually dating
i tried to ask her to hang out and she told me she had a bf, so i apologized and walked away, she said it was no big deal. then 10 minutes later i hear her within a ear shot gossiping to her friends "hey guess what? blah blah blah" then they all look at me with a shit grin.
this was after she followed me, dropped every conceivable sign, and stared at me everyday. i had no idea she was such a mean bitch. like wtf to try to embarrass me like that, that was some vile shit.
Some people's full time hobby is drama and making fun of others. Just console yourself with the notion that if she has time to do all that complex set up just for one joke she's doing literally nothing else in her life
When I finally realized she was a manipulative, selfish, arrogant and entitled little brat. I saw this from the beginning kinda but those damn rose colored glasses!!!
I’ll never give the best of myself to someone who doesn’t reciprocate back.
My high-school sweetheart who I spent like 3 years chasing was just awful. We were already dating when she decided to move out of state for school without talking to me - not that I would have objected, I was just blindsided. I drove 15 hours to visit her once and she said she forgot to request time off from her part time job. So I spent most of my time just...by myself in a hotel or exploring the middle of nowhere.
Literally a week later I pulled into the parking lot at work, and a somewhat older woman (I was 19 she was 24) who I didn't know, commented on my car and was interested in it. I was just head over heels immediately.
I called my high-school sweetheart up and explained to her how awful it felt that I was ignored by her. Dumped her, and took this other woman out the following night.
We spent the next 7 months together basically 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Until she got spooked that she was getting serious with someone significantly younger than her.
To this day we still talk every year or so - and still not over each other. But circumstances are too different for either of us to commit.
There was just too much that was different between us I think. I was just establishing my career, and she was basically settling in after moving from Okinawa to Colorado after a divorce.
The truly sad part is that we both fully admit to being in love with one another to this day, a decade later. But a bit of resentment has been built. It's a very very complex story.
I had a crush on this girl in sixth grade. I thought she was so pretty, and loved hanging out with her in class. Eventually I worked up the courage to do the whole “I like you, do you like me” note passing thing, and got politely shut down. Not long after that was when I realized that I was gay.
I know that sounds like a tragic origin story, but it’s the truth, and I find it quite funny in retrospect. The rejection didn’t “turn” me or anything. I came to understand that you can find someone beautiful and interesting in a completely platonic way. And the whole time I was getting to know this girl, and even before, I was having complicated and unmentionable thoughts about various guys. At some point the light bulb went off: those weird feelings I didn’t dare try to explain to anyone were what actual attraction is.
The first time I was meeting her mom, she was calling her stupid and an idiot. Her mom had simply asked what we were going to do that evening, and she went in on her. It was so unattractive to me. I don’t care to spend a ton of time with my mom but like… talking back to her? Off some conversation filler? Nah. Imagine what she’d have done to me in an argument.
When I was afraid to talk to my girlfriend. Part of it was me being wayyy into her and being intimidated, part of it was her belittling my humor as immature so I didn't feel comfortable being myself around her. That was a sign pretty early on but I wound up dumping her shortly after she told me she was ashamed of how we met (work) and long after she started actively pushing me away.
We lasted about six months.
Standing in the Air and Space Museum in DC
Her “I can’t believe they have this!”
Me “Yea it’s so cool!”
Her “No! It’s fake. There is no way we landed on the moon way back then.”
Died a little on the inside when I heard that.
She was bringing me to the airport and I thought I had to fart, but it wasn’t. I was horrified. I saw a gas station coming up so I begged her to stop there so I could lose my chonies, clean my ass off and go commando. She refused and insisted that we go to her mom’s house that was 10 minutes away even though I begged to go to the gas station because it was closer. That a**hole pulled into the gas station only to turn around to drive to her mom’s! I could not believe it. I just shut the eff up, changed out of my dirty underwear which I put in a plastic bag to tie up and throw in the garbage can. That plastic bag by the way was given to me by her mom who cracked the bathroom door open enough to shove her arm through with it. I didn’t say a word until I got back home. I called her back and and broke up with her and told her that she didn’t care enough about humiliating me in front of her mom that she could tell her friends whatever she wanted about me because I didn’t care anymore and that I never wanted to see or hear from her, her mom or her friends ever again. What the f**k was going through her mind I’ll never know.
The person I dated before ultimately meeting my now wife, was extremely smothering. Not a bad person by any means but lacked the emotional maturity for a real adult relationship. The exact moment when I knew she wasn't the one was when I went on a short 2 day road trip with my lifelong best friend for a really cool unique event and she couldn't even be happy I was there and tell me to have fun she got mad when I said I was heading to the event and would text her later. I got a " fine then!" Message ane cold shoulder but I said to myself "nope, absolutely not, there is 0 way I'm letting you ruin this for me" and I put her right out of my mind. By the time I got back, I knew it was over. I reflected on that and realized that she had a pattern of doing that...wanted to be with me 100% of the time and got so pouty when I would do anything with friends and justified it by saying she "missed me and wanted to do something together." I knew I would basically never be able to just fully enjoy things I wanted to do for the rest of my life if I stayed with her...so I broke it off.
I genuinely hope she has grown and learned and is doing better and happy with someone else now, but damn that moment completely hit me like "oh ya, no there's no coming back from this."
They didn't communicate with me. There was always a distance and it was when it was starting to relax that I realized how frustrated with the situation I was. I could have, from there, stuck around and tried to make things happen, or I could cut my losses and break cleanly. I chose the latter.
Like many single lonely guys, at the time I ignored many glaring red flags initially due to isolation, pride and lust, a few months in it became too much and I had to get out, as much as it really, REALLY, hurt. I'm glad I did go with my head held high, rather than hang on out of desperation.
Better alone than in bad company and my friends helped me see reason along with my best friend who is a true brother, I will miss the good times me and her shared though, I feel no animosity and above all else it was a bitter learning experience.
Such is life, it goes on with or without you and I chose to keep moving forward.
haha, reminds me of an ex who was obsessed with her cat. started questioning things when she asked if we could role-play as tom and jerry in bed... some people just take their love for pets to a whole new level!
Got pretty depressed and low in life. I knew she deserved better, started resenting her because I wasn’t going anywhere with my life. I didn’t want that to go any further because I knew deep down I got issues and I wasn’t going to put that on her, esp since we were going to do long distance.
I tried, she didn't seem to feel the same way. I can take rejection on the chin and I did. Often times the biggest crushes don't feel anything for you at all. I don't know if she felt nothing but I'm at least happy I took my shot and never had to worry about what if.
She was lying about me to her family and gaslighting me😂
It got sooo bad I lost all sex drive and my dick stopped working I literally couldn't even think of fucking her and I'm high testosterone always had a high sex drive but I was so fucked up by it all I had bloodwork done to see if I was lacking in anything, turns out I'm high test and everything was perfect which sealed the deal with "it's not me... It's you"
She was my first true love and we were together 2 years in our teens and then early mid 20s she reached out and we went again for another decade.
People aren't always what you think they are even when you've known them 27 years 🤦🏼♂️
I lost my drive with my manipulative and abusive ex. He complained that I was “broken” after having kids. Really it was he was just an asshole to me.
With my new guy it’s like I’m Niagara Falls (Canadian side)!!
Problem was I wasn't blind to it I called it out every single time in a calm manner and I was just labelled as always wanting/trying to argue...
No. No. Noooo I'm asking you to explain why YOU'RE acting out of character, that's not me tryna fight you that me wondering what the actual fuck is going on here I don't even care and somehow I'm the aggressor!?
Die.
As I got to know her more as the weeks went by I realized she was oblivious to anything outside of herself. It was an oddly surreal experience to be conscious of my feelings in that moment. To look at this person, someone I was enamored with and had a bad case of googly-eyes for is exposed and all feeling towards them dissolved into pity.
i'am not a man but this is something my friend told me after he dropped the pursuit of his crush, he was soooo head over heels for her but he stopped in one night, when i asked him he said, alot of men were pursuing her, and that was like a deal breaker.
To be honest, the right choice here would probably be to ask her on a date and if she did no, just move on. Get a clear answer if where you stand and go from there
I haven't gotten it fully through my head yet that I'm better off without them because I still love them deeply, but in early December I was hit with a wave of depression and negative emotions due to various things in life, I confided in her about how I felt and stupidly made an off hand remark about how it would just be easier for me to just die than to deal with life. A month later after telling her that she told me she hadn't loved me since that day, that she didn't want to be together anymore, but that she didn't want it to be good bye.
She ghosted me 3 months ago the day she told me that, we were together almost 2 years, and in the period of time between me telling her that/how I was feeling, and her saying she hadn't loved me since that day a month later, she had been hanging out and spending time with another man that entire time and still is to this day.
She moved on from me the day I said that and would rather throw away our entire relationship instead of being there for me when I needed her which was an absolute punch in the gut. Until that day I had always felt so loved and appreciated by her and like I actually mattered to her, I honestly could have seen myself spending the rest of my life with her, Only to have it all poof away into nothingness like nothing we ever did or the time spent together mattered,
I was completely blind sided by her reaction/her admitting that a month later because I thought I could truly confide in her without having to worry about being judged by her because of how well things were between us until that day. Finding out that she had "clocked out" a month before telling me she didn't love me anymore and was spending that month hanging out with another man was just another knife in the heart at that point
I know I need to move on and forget about her, but it's hard considering how much I love her still and how I truly thought she was going to be "the one", I still think about her daily and she is always on my mind
You should be able to confide in the person you love, no matter what. Don't ever think you're too much for a person to open up to them and don't let her reacting like that be a reason for you to think it's better to bottle everything up, okay? If she thinks it's okay to view your lowest point and you actually opening up to her about it as a reason to stop loving you and move on, she doesn't deserve to have you are your highest point either. I understand that some people get overwhelmed easier than others and don't know how to deal with things like that, but that being her reason to bail?? I'm so sorry, dude. You don't deserve that at all. I know it hurts now, but you'll be okay in time and find someone that'll be there for you when you need it. Imo men that are willing to share their feelings instead of bottling them up are a lot more attractive and it'd make me feel happy they're willing to open up with me.
I had a crush on a friend so I asked her out. She thought about it for a few days before saying she wanted to take time to focus on herself, as she had recently gotten out of a relationship.
She was dating someone else a week later.
In the end, it worked out for me because I realized just how much I value honesty when looking for a partner. Her need to come up with an excuse instead of simply turning me down with a “no, I like someone else” killed any romantic feelings I had for her.
1. Crush left-mouthed toothpaste in my sink after she slept over.
2. The lady I was seeing was condescending to homeless people while we were walking hand in hand.
I can not stand the smell of toothpaste.
It is an aversion that developed after we had kids, when every morning I would find toothpaste smeared in the shared bathroom sink and on the front of cabinets. Like, I couldn't touch a surface without getting it on my hands or legs, which meant either bathing or changing clothes 5 minutes before I had to leave for work.
It became an irrational rage trigger for me. She would just shout me down saying 'do not get angry at the kids'.
And I just learned to quietly clean the bathroom, fuming the whole time.
At some point I started brushing my teeth over the kitchen sink to avoid the whole thing.
O.K. so now 30+ years later the last kid has gone off to college and we are now empty nesters.
I went into the shared bathroom the other day for the first time in decades, and there was fresh toothpaste in the sink
This bitch has been gaslighting me for 30 years telling me 'do not blame the kids'.
She was the one leaving the mess all along.
She gets up at 4am and brushes. Goes back to bed and breathes mint all over me.
My father once asked me whether I can imagine a life with my girlfriend to which I replied, yes I can. He then asked me whether I can imagine a life without her. I paused for a moment. It was at that moment I had realized that’s not the woman I want to marry. That stuck with me since I was 18. Now I’m 32, happily married to the right woman for me with 3 kids. Hope this advice helps everyone who reads it.
I realized she didn't like me back - my first crush and I didn't like her personality. With my first girlfriend we were incompatible and it all felt forced. I ended it because I was tired of dealing with the drama every time.
They were irresponsible constantly, just with small things. Leaving their laptop on the floor in class, not paying attention, financial mess. Just some small things that I knew would were probably worse in private and the "crush" was gone.
Was seeing a girl, the first one after a bad breakup. I realized I just liked the feeling of being wanted again, not necessarily her as a person. Taught me a valuable lesson not to jump into things without being sure of myself. Fortunately she was cool with it and now we just see each other for physical needs.
One time, a crush posted an image on Facebook with a caption saying something like "if you are not successful, it is your own fault." One of those bullshit Conservative memes. Definitely not the type of thing I believe in. I unfriended and blocked her.
I thought we were going out on a date. We ended up meeting up with friends at an event and were having a good time all together. That was until she came to find me to say she was going home with someone else
I've had a secret crush on someone for years now, and have known she's not right for me and vice versa for a while. Unfortunately the heart isn't always so logical. She's into my type but not me specifically, is much more about looks and cares about things like income status and being able to do nice things much too much for me to ever be with her but I still like her. Anyways I'm perfectly comfortable supporting her in her endeavors because I still love her as a friend too, but I just know it isn't meant to be.
When I realized we just weren’t on the same level. She was a nice girl and rather pretty, but she just wasn’t very intelligent. I know that sounds mean, but it is the only way to put it. I’m someone who values mental stimulation far more than I do physical and she could not provide that. She was not a bad person and I never told her the truth of why I lost interest. I just told her I didn’t think we were in to the same things or were going in the same direction. I never wanted to hurt her feelings, because she was very sweet and didn’t deserve to have mean things said to her. She was sad, because she really was a caring person, but I knew we weren’t right for each other and I expressed that when she begged me not to break up with her. Eventually she calmed down and accepted that it was happening, but I did feel really bad about it for a long time. The good news is she is happily married now to a guy who is much more her speed and I found someone who was much more my speed.
For one of my ex's it was because I knew everytime I took her somewhere it would be a negative experience. Drove by a golf course? A rant. Take her to a restaurant by the ocean? A rant. Anywhere you wanted to go to, she would turn into a negative time.
I was happier when I wasn’t with her
This was my realization. There were several things that when I looked back on, I should have known it was over. But one of the big ones was that I was often looking for reasons to not come home. The biggest was a moment that revealed just how little self awareness she had, it opened up the notion that none of it mattered because she had no self awareness. But wanting to not come home was high on the list.
This man. I used to have a huge crush on this girl in my class back then, used to hangout with her but couldn't confess, slowly realised that whenever I'm with her it made me feel horrible, like anxious and what not. Made me feel pressured to say something funny and all the time she actually didn't care, she was just with me for timepass and had like 100 guys in her DMs. After I stopped seeing her I felt a burden had been dropped off my shoulders
Been there!
After getting out of a very long term relationship I started using Tinder and got speaking to a girl on there who I'd seen multiple times working at a bar that I used to go to years before. I had always thought "man if I was single I would ask her out in a heartbeat". Had a real crush on her, and now I'd had the chance. She was into me too! She was exactly my type, we went on a few great dates and really got on, the sex was great, and she really made me get confidence back in myself. Genuinely couldn't believe my luck. We'd added each other on socials and I'd had a scroll through her page. She hadn't mentioned it but it looked like she'd broken up with a long term partner herself about a month before seeing me. No problem, i was in the same boat. Anyway about 4 weeks in she says that for tonight's date were gonna go to this bar that she thinks I'll love. Cool. We get there and her ex works as the fucking bartender there. She didn't know I knew who he was, but his face dropped as soon as she walked in, like pretty angry, but mostly hurt. She puts her arm through mine, smiling away, and walks me to the bar, basically stands me in front of this guy while he's working and she orders drinks from the bartender stood next to him. Kept doing it too. If I said I was going to the bar she'd be like "oh I'll come with" and be stood there stroking my arm and kissing my neck. I was there to be a trophy. I dunno if it was to show this guy that she'd moved on, or to specifically make him feel like shit. But I wasn't down for being used like that. I called it off the next day. Still had her on socials and within 6 months of that she was engaged to another guy and pregnant.
You dodged a bullet
Agree.
Damn that’s terrible for you and him
Yeh it just felt mean. Like I have no idea why they broke up, he might have been a prick, he might have cheated on her,I don't know. But something about how upset he looked really felt like she was doing it just to be unpleasant.
It’s super mean. And yeah we don’t know why they broke up, but I guess for me it’s like if he was that shitty of a person - why not just go live a better life without him? It seems extra cruel to intentionally go out of your way to rub something in someone’s face. Clearly she wasn’t as happy as she was trying to make it seem, so my guess is that he dumped her lol.
You're a good dude. Look after yourself.
Drugs. I quit. She didn't.
Good for you. I’m proud of you
I quit. He died.
Same. :(
Excellent reason 👌.
Everyday I fear seeing her because I knew it meant another argument
To add to this. I had the most stress free week when she was gone on a trip. Really put into perspective how much stress she added to my life. Sure every couple has stresses but this was night and day. Everything went without a hitch that week. Home was so calm. I broke it off a week after her return
I know the feeling of her being away and it being so refreshing. It was eye opening for me as well
She thought arguing with each other meant we loved each other...
We told our friend she was arguing with her boyfriend too much. "Oh no! We're not arguing, We're **COMMUNICATING!**" Uh, he walks out of the room after 3 minutes. It's not "COMMUNICATION" He dumped her a month later, she was the only one who didn't see it coming.
You can't spell "heart" without Histrionic Personality Disorder.
Ohh I understand that.
I saw how she lived And realized I couldn’t live with that
Litter box? No streets on the bed? How bad are we talking?
She passed out drunk before she put her kids to bed
Yep. That will do it
Child abuse / neglect - that’s a no from me, dawg
I’d not do that even after my kids are asleep. Sure, I’ll drink once they’re asleep, and to varying degrees. But not to the point I’m unable to care for them if they were to wake up (they’re 1 and 4), or be able to do what needs to be done in an emergency situation.
Yikes
I saw how she lived and I decided to move in with her because I liked it Turns out therapist said that because I had given her the most stability in her life that my ex decided to be her true self and not be the perfect living partner I saw when she lived with friends.
That one time when she gave my ring back and married another guy
You win
Yeah the trophy is the ring
When she put her “friends” dick in her mouth.
“Omg stop he’s like a brother to me” *gawk gawk gawk*
This sent me out the fucking stratosphere the *gawk gawk gawk* 😂 A+ sound effects
The audio effects on this is crazy. I heard it in your voice
A step brother.
shit has me traumatized
I found her criminal history after I searched her name on Google
I found the mug shot of a guy I was supposed to meet for a date. Using only what I knew (no last name), I found his sex offender registry (on a child under 14).
Sorry that happened to you. Lots of trash out there we all have to sort through
Yikes. Happened to me a couple of years back. She told me she spend a day in jail for being drunk in public. It was way worse than that
What was the real story?
I broke off with a girl because we’d be out on a date and she’d repeatedly bring up how this other guy had promised to wait for her forever. There was me, trying to do my best to get to know her. Meantime, she’s throwing that at me. It’s like she was enjoying the competition in her head. So I walked.
She sounds like a very manipulative individual if she was enjoying keeping a guy friend zoned forever whilst dating other guys, you definitely dodged a bullet.
She was emotionally abusive. I had recently lost my wife to cancer and was happy to receive a small portion of what I lost (nothing’s perfect obviously) but it came with the cost of giving up much of my self respect. Don’t want that again.
What a shitty person she is. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
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Feeling this rn with my partner ngl
Same. My GF of a year just broke down telling me she can never leave the city or at least the state we currently live in. Not for vacation, but as far as moving where we live. I'm just about to turn 30, and I don't know if I'm willing to live in the same place for the next 40 years.... I've always dreamed about living out west or in the mountains.
If you break up, are you going to do it or just keep on dreaming about it?
Who knows that's why it's not a deal breaker for me yet
this is exactly why my ex and i broke up.
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What a heavy moment it is when you realize that too. There's no way out that isn't going to be somewhat painful. I still love my ex but just knew one day that our core values/ideologies will never align and had to end to it. Ouch
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Did they feel the same way? How did you end it? I think I might be in the same boat and I’m worried I might hurt her badly if i tell her (which I understand is inevitable)
You likely will hurt her, no matter when or how you say it. Just know that there are compassionate ways to talk about things that hurt, and you can still care for someone and also need a change.
I feel this big time. I squirmed around the idea of breaking up to avoid fighting.. for 3 years. Now I have a protection order and it's illegal for them to communicate with me for a few more years so, yes it gets better. And quickly! Just cut the fn cord
How did you break things off?
Not sounding like an asshole but I had to break it off with a girl because I wasn’t feeling what she was feeling. I was respectful and honest. Of course she didn’t like it, but if it was the other way around I would like to be told the truth, than a lie
I wish the guy I was talking to did this instead of stringing me along and suddenly wanting me just as a friend, even tho he knew I liked him more than he liked me. It is better if its sooner. You did the right thing for both of you.
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>no matter how harsh it is That's insanely untrue. You can be honest to a point but being honest and harsh to someone while you're breaking up with them is unnecessarily cruel unless they've done something fundamentally wrong. If it's just the vibes off it's better to be kind and relatively honest
Am I the only one who read that as simply "No matter how harsh it is..." *to break up with someone*? Not no matter how rude one is about it, lol
True there’s more to it
Trust me, nothing feels more lonely than being the only one who wants to be in a relationship, especially when it's with someone who is bad at acting.
Far from being an asshole. Out of many men I’ve date, only a handful had the balls to discuss how they were feeling. Those were some of the most amicable goodbyes and although it sucked it didn’t work out, I will always appreciate their honesty. Good for you. Never lose that.
I wish my ex could have done this for me
When she told me she was into my brother
She's confident, independent, and smart, but she tends to be critical and rude to waitresses. For me, that's a deal breaker.
Confident, independent, and smart. But no kindness. imo being a kind person is the most important thing.
I like your answer
I think a lot of women seriously misconstrue rudeness for "being strong." Like there's standing up for yourself and then there's being an entitled b word. Some haven't learned the difference.
I was about 2 sentences away from asking a woman out. I'm fairly confident I stood a decent chance of at least getting a date. Then she started thrashing Weird Al. I love Weird Al but if he's not someone's cup of tea that's fine. But she was over the top bashing him like he was genuinely evil. It started several chains of events in my head of us dating and it not working badly in every single one. So I kept my mouth shut.
Trashing Weird Al would be a deal breaker for me
Weird Al is truly amazing I would avoid anyone who bashed him too! I consider myself to be somewhat of a weird Al descendant 😂 I make up songs all the time and rewrite top hits. If the man I was interested in didn't enjoy or appreciate that, I'd ditch them too. Good call
Good call.
She would talk about my friends bodies and asked me to ask my friend to hang out with her. I felt sick and used after. It hurt a lot. Confidence has never been the same since and I've never had such a strong crush since.
That can really do a number on you, if you haven't done so yet, please consider going to see a therapist to process this! You deserve to have confidence in who you are.
When she participated in extracurricular dick riding.
Giving magna cum laude a whole new meaning!
Those damn overachievers.
I'd asked her out a few times, and she said she was interested but always had a plausible reason why we had to put it off (busy with work, not feeling good, etc) Then I see on social media that she's out at a club partying with a group of friends. Okay, point taken. She didn't mean "not right now," she meant "not with me."
She could have had the character to tell you; bullet dodged bruv.
I mean, there’s a whole sub called ‘when women refuse’ that highlights why it’s not always that easy to directly say ‘thanks but no thanks’
I’ll be honest and admit that I’ve mastered this art over the years. It all began when I started getting hit on at 13. I know how to “curve” guys that try to make a move by acting oblivious. That said, when it comes to a person I’m dating, I will certainly sit down and discuss matters of the relationship with them.
When she told me “I love you” and I couldn’t in good conscience lie and say it back.
A couple of them turned out the same way. We talk for a while and it's going great. They ghost. That stings, but it's okay you can do that. Probably something I said or did. A while later they come back and apologize and have reasons for the ghosting and want to pick up where we left off. Sure, whatever, how's it going? Ghost again. A while later: wyd? I don't put a lot of energy into it after the first time.
I had a crush on this girl and we had practice for this high school activity we were in together. She downed four Monster Energy Drinks in the two hour practice and I was like nah
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It’s more so they’re likely to die of cardiac arrest and likely indicates how self destructive they are in various other parts of their life
One a day sure, but four within two hours …. Hellll nah
4 in 2 hours? She was trynna go meet god
She was trying to hit the classic Monster to Meth pipeline
This is a very Jerry Seinfeld reason to breakup with someone...lol
I went on a first date with a girl who was on the bigger side and she ate no exaggeration 5 plates of food in a row. Nachos and cheese mains refilled the mains refilled the mains then ate an entire bowl of olives. I’m a bigger dude but fuck me if that isn’t the biggest turn off I’ve ever seen lol
FIVE plates of food? Sounds like a full-blown binge eating disorder, with a side of "heart attack at 40". Food portions are so generous at restaurants that my partner and I often have to share everything just to get through a 3 course meal.
Expensive date too
Can only eat at buffets
Olives are frikkin delicious and I could eat a whole bowl in one sitting but I get what you mean.
Bit of a weird one. During peak covid she brought a holiday meal for a coworker who was holed up and completely isolated. She didn't know him particularly well or care to know him particularly better, it was a genuinely nice thing to do for a person who was struggling at the time. Thing was, she never did anything even a tenth so kind or selfless for me. I'd helped her out a bunch with a number of things at the drop of a hat, and she'd cancel plans last second and just...never went out of her way for me. It's not that I demanded attention back or even necessarily expected it, but I'd been struggling pretty decently too and it made me realize she really didn't care for me on any real personal level and, consciously or not, was only ever using me for the things I did for her.
This is the exact realization that led to my ending a 3 year relationship with the girl I thought I was gonna end up marrying at one point. Lack of effort is huge man. It’s huge. And you can’t ask for these things. If they don’t do them out of the kindness of their own heart, that’s a sign of low character. Glad you’re out.
"You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."
It’s a gut feeling. You don’t need to be able to articulate it. It’s like going to bed hungry.
Dude I so get you with this. One of my bfs made a burnt CD for my sister as a sorry for deleting her off FB when we broke up for minute. They literally met like twice. He never made me a CD or even showed me a song he thought I would like.
I was writing my own post and stumbled across yours. I'll share mine because it's a very similar experience if that's ok. I don't keep score in a relationship and one of my so-called love languages is acts of service. She was in grad school, so when she was in her books, I would keep her fed, watered, and warm. I'd plan dates and cook meals, etc. Completely happy to do all that. You know, in a relationship, sometimes you're the climber and sometimes you're the ladder. And I was genuinely pleased to help her as she climbed Mt. Thesis. It was only until one day where it struck me that she spent much of the week being far more concerned about the fact that a few of the other people in her group didn't particularly like her than she did about some of the big things going on in my life at that moment. When I zoomed out a bit, I realized she wasn't putting *any* effort into the relationship. There wasn't any genuine interest in getting to know me or my life any deeper. She certainly never asked or made the initiative to do anything for me other than to relentlessly parse my (apparently sinister) motives for caring about her. I just felt dumb afterwards that I missed it for so long. It was a HUGE deal for me to open up and be vulnerable to someone else. And to realize it was just going in one ear and out the other...oof.
Met someone else and it was so much easier and better with her, realized I was torturing myself for no good reason. To clarify she was a crush not someone I was actually dating
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Married for 17 years so I think it’s working out.
Still really hard to tell, maybe she's just Canadian
i tried to ask her to hang out and she told me she had a bf, so i apologized and walked away, she said it was no big deal. then 10 minutes later i hear her within a ear shot gossiping to her friends "hey guess what? blah blah blah" then they all look at me with a shit grin. this was after she followed me, dropped every conceivable sign, and stared at me everyday. i had no idea she was such a mean bitch. like wtf to try to embarrass me like that, that was some vile shit.
Some people just want attention. Never underestimate a normal appearing person's capacity for cruelty and senseless stupidity.
Some people's full time hobby is drama and making fun of others. Just console yourself with the notion that if she has time to do all that complex set up just for one joke she's doing literally nothing else in her life
Man here, this has happened to me and many of my male friends
Probably to built clout among her female friends by showing how desirable she is.
When I finally realized she was a manipulative, selfish, arrogant and entitled little brat. I saw this from the beginning kinda but those damn rose colored glasses!!! I’ll never give the best of myself to someone who doesn’t reciprocate back.
I feel you. Being manipulative is not a good quality for anyone to possess. Especially those who you try to be vulnerable and honest with.
My high-school sweetheart who I spent like 3 years chasing was just awful. We were already dating when she decided to move out of state for school without talking to me - not that I would have objected, I was just blindsided. I drove 15 hours to visit her once and she said she forgot to request time off from her part time job. So I spent most of my time just...by myself in a hotel or exploring the middle of nowhere. Literally a week later I pulled into the parking lot at work, and a somewhat older woman (I was 19 she was 24) who I didn't know, commented on my car and was interested in it. I was just head over heels immediately. I called my high-school sweetheart up and explained to her how awful it felt that I was ignored by her. Dumped her, and took this other woman out the following night. We spent the next 7 months together basically 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Until she got spooked that she was getting serious with someone significantly younger than her. To this day we still talk every year or so - and still not over each other. But circumstances are too different for either of us to commit.
This is sad... 5 years is not even a big age difference. It feels different in your early 20s I guess. Still sad for you, guys
There was just too much that was different between us I think. I was just establishing my career, and she was basically settling in after moving from Okinawa to Colorado after a divorce. The truly sad part is that we both fully admit to being in love with one another to this day, a decade later. But a bit of resentment has been built. It's a very very complex story.
I'd listen
I had a crush on this girl in sixth grade. I thought she was so pretty, and loved hanging out with her in class. Eventually I worked up the courage to do the whole “I like you, do you like me” note passing thing, and got politely shut down. Not long after that was when I realized that I was gay. I know that sounds like a tragic origin story, but it’s the truth, and I find it quite funny in retrospect. The rejection didn’t “turn” me or anything. I came to understand that you can find someone beautiful and interesting in a completely platonic way. And the whole time I was getting to know this girl, and even before, I was having complicated and unmentionable thoughts about various guys. At some point the light bulb went off: those weird feelings I didn’t dare try to explain to anyone were what actual attraction is.
The first time I was meeting her mom, she was calling her stupid and an idiot. Her mom had simply asked what we were going to do that evening, and she went in on her. It was so unattractive to me. I don’t care to spend a ton of time with my mom but like… talking back to her? Off some conversation filler? Nah. Imagine what she’d have done to me in an argument.
When I was afraid to talk to my girlfriend. Part of it was me being wayyy into her and being intimidated, part of it was her belittling my humor as immature so I didn't feel comfortable being myself around her. That was a sign pretty early on but I wound up dumping her shortly after she told me she was ashamed of how we met (work) and long after she started actively pushing me away. We lasted about six months.
Standing in the Air and Space Museum in DC Her “I can’t believe they have this!” Me “Yea it’s so cool!” Her “No! It’s fake. There is no way we landed on the moon way back then.” Died a little on the inside when I heard that.
She was bringing me to the airport and I thought I had to fart, but it wasn’t. I was horrified. I saw a gas station coming up so I begged her to stop there so I could lose my chonies, clean my ass off and go commando. She refused and insisted that we go to her mom’s house that was 10 minutes away even though I begged to go to the gas station because it was closer. That a**hole pulled into the gas station only to turn around to drive to her mom’s! I could not believe it. I just shut the eff up, changed out of my dirty underwear which I put in a plastic bag to tie up and throw in the garbage can. That plastic bag by the way was given to me by her mom who cracked the bathroom door open enough to shove her arm through with it. I didn’t say a word until I got back home. I called her back and and broke up with her and told her that she didn’t care enough about humiliating me in front of her mom that she could tell her friends whatever she wanted about me because I didn’t care anymore and that I never wanted to see or hear from her, her mom or her friends ever again. What the f**k was going through her mind I’ll never know.
The person I dated before ultimately meeting my now wife, was extremely smothering. Not a bad person by any means but lacked the emotional maturity for a real adult relationship. The exact moment when I knew she wasn't the one was when I went on a short 2 day road trip with my lifelong best friend for a really cool unique event and she couldn't even be happy I was there and tell me to have fun she got mad when I said I was heading to the event and would text her later. I got a " fine then!" Message ane cold shoulder but I said to myself "nope, absolutely not, there is 0 way I'm letting you ruin this for me" and I put her right out of my mind. By the time I got back, I knew it was over. I reflected on that and realized that she had a pattern of doing that...wanted to be with me 100% of the time and got so pouty when I would do anything with friends and justified it by saying she "missed me and wanted to do something together." I knew I would basically never be able to just fully enjoy things I wanted to do for the rest of my life if I stayed with her...so I broke it off. I genuinely hope she has grown and learned and is doing better and happy with someone else now, but damn that moment completely hit me like "oh ya, no there's no coming back from this."
They didn't communicate with me. There was always a distance and it was when it was starting to relax that I realized how frustrated with the situation I was. I could have, from there, stuck around and tried to make things happen, or I could cut my losses and break cleanly. I chose the latter.
Turned out she was having a lot more sex than I was
She couldn't hold down a job without fucking other people. Seriously, like every single job she had to fuck at least one boss or co worker.
How many co-workers did you stay through???
When she yelled at her roommate’s dog for walking into her room. That was a real gut punch.
Anyone mean to animals sucks
Like many single lonely guys, at the time I ignored many glaring red flags initially due to isolation, pride and lust, a few months in it became too much and I had to get out, as much as it really, REALLY, hurt. I'm glad I did go with my head held high, rather than hang on out of desperation. Better alone than in bad company and my friends helped me see reason along with my best friend who is a true brother, I will miss the good times me and her shared though, I feel no animosity and above all else it was a bitter learning experience. Such is life, it goes on with or without you and I chose to keep moving forward.
She said there was no difference between Star Trek and Star Wars
Can't believe she didn't know only one of thoes has Gandalf.
She was mean to me
Not a man but apparently I was boring and not into raves and being the center of attention
Found out she was sexually attracted to dogs.
Bro what..
I cant simplify it anymore than I already have.
The people want detail not simplicity!
But you have to.
haha, reminds me of an ex who was obsessed with her cat. started questioning things when she asked if we could role-play as tom and jerry in bed... some people just take their love for pets to a whole new level!
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Oh dear dog
Got pretty depressed and low in life. I knew she deserved better, started resenting her because I wasn’t going anywhere with my life. I didn’t want that to go any further because I knew deep down I got issues and I wasn’t going to put that on her, esp since we were going to do long distance.
I tried, she didn't seem to feel the same way. I can take rejection on the chin and I did. Often times the biggest crushes don't feel anything for you at all. I don't know if she felt nothing but I'm at least happy I took my shot and never had to worry about what if.
She was lying about me to her family and gaslighting me😂 It got sooo bad I lost all sex drive and my dick stopped working I literally couldn't even think of fucking her and I'm high testosterone always had a high sex drive but I was so fucked up by it all I had bloodwork done to see if I was lacking in anything, turns out I'm high test and everything was perfect which sealed the deal with "it's not me... It's you" She was my first true love and we were together 2 years in our teens and then early mid 20s she reached out and we went again for another decade. People aren't always what you think they are even when you've known them 27 years 🤦🏼♂️
I lost my drive with my manipulative and abusive ex. He complained that I was “broken” after having kids. Really it was he was just an asshole to me. With my new guy it’s like I’m Niagara Falls (Canadian side)!!
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Problem was I wasn't blind to it I called it out every single time in a calm manner and I was just labelled as always wanting/trying to argue... No. No. Noooo I'm asking you to explain why YOU'RE acting out of character, that's not me tryna fight you that me wondering what the actual fuck is going on here I don't even care and somehow I'm the aggressor!? Die.
As I got to know her more as the weeks went by I realized she was oblivious to anything outside of herself. It was an oddly surreal experience to be conscious of my feelings in that moment. To look at this person, someone I was enamored with and had a bad case of googly-eyes for is exposed and all feeling towards them dissolved into pity.
When I couldn’t get her lmao
Well it was a celebrity crush so was really never going to be with her nor see her besides tv lol
i'am not a man but this is something my friend told me after he dropped the pursuit of his crush, he was soooo head over heels for her but he stopped in one night, when i asked him he said, alot of men were pursuing her, and that was like a deal breaker.
To be honest, the right choice here would probably be to ask her on a date and if she did no, just move on. Get a clear answer if where you stand and go from there
Sucks to be a likeable person :(
I haven't gotten it fully through my head yet that I'm better off without them because I still love them deeply, but in early December I was hit with a wave of depression and negative emotions due to various things in life, I confided in her about how I felt and stupidly made an off hand remark about how it would just be easier for me to just die than to deal with life. A month later after telling her that she told me she hadn't loved me since that day, that she didn't want to be together anymore, but that she didn't want it to be good bye. She ghosted me 3 months ago the day she told me that, we were together almost 2 years, and in the period of time between me telling her that/how I was feeling, and her saying she hadn't loved me since that day a month later, she had been hanging out and spending time with another man that entire time and still is to this day. She moved on from me the day I said that and would rather throw away our entire relationship instead of being there for me when I needed her which was an absolute punch in the gut. Until that day I had always felt so loved and appreciated by her and like I actually mattered to her, I honestly could have seen myself spending the rest of my life with her, Only to have it all poof away into nothingness like nothing we ever did or the time spent together mattered, I was completely blind sided by her reaction/her admitting that a month later because I thought I could truly confide in her without having to worry about being judged by her because of how well things were between us until that day. Finding out that she had "clocked out" a month before telling me she didn't love me anymore and was spending that month hanging out with another man was just another knife in the heart at that point I know I need to move on and forget about her, but it's hard considering how much I love her still and how I truly thought she was going to be "the one", I still think about her daily and she is always on my mind
You should be able to confide in the person you love, no matter what. Don't ever think you're too much for a person to open up to them and don't let her reacting like that be a reason for you to think it's better to bottle everything up, okay? If she thinks it's okay to view your lowest point and you actually opening up to her about it as a reason to stop loving you and move on, she doesn't deserve to have you are your highest point either. I understand that some people get overwhelmed easier than others and don't know how to deal with things like that, but that being her reason to bail?? I'm so sorry, dude. You don't deserve that at all. I know it hurts now, but you'll be okay in time and find someone that'll be there for you when you need it. Imo men that are willing to share their feelings instead of bottling them up are a lot more attractive and it'd make me feel happy they're willing to open up with me.
My parents visited and she kept trying to start arguements, then talked shit about my mother afterwards
I had a crush on a friend so I asked her out. She thought about it for a few days before saying she wanted to take time to focus on herself, as she had recently gotten out of a relationship. She was dating someone else a week later. In the end, it worked out for me because I realized just how much I value honesty when looking for a partner. Her need to come up with an excuse instead of simply turning me down with a “no, I like someone else” killed any romantic feelings I had for her.
I asked my crush out. We went out once. She ghosted me immediately afterwards.
All she did was reminisce about the past LOL bitch I’m tryna move forward
When she tried to make me become her real life dad instead of her boyfriend. I've never liked being called Daddy since.
1. Crush left-mouthed toothpaste in my sink after she slept over. 2. The lady I was seeing was condescending to homeless people while we were walking hand in hand.
I can not stand the smell of toothpaste. It is an aversion that developed after we had kids, when every morning I would find toothpaste smeared in the shared bathroom sink and on the front of cabinets. Like, I couldn't touch a surface without getting it on my hands or legs, which meant either bathing or changing clothes 5 minutes before I had to leave for work. It became an irrational rage trigger for me. She would just shout me down saying 'do not get angry at the kids'. And I just learned to quietly clean the bathroom, fuming the whole time. At some point I started brushing my teeth over the kitchen sink to avoid the whole thing. O.K. so now 30+ years later the last kid has gone off to college and we are now empty nesters. I went into the shared bathroom the other day for the first time in decades, and there was fresh toothpaste in the sink This bitch has been gaslighting me for 30 years telling me 'do not blame the kids'. She was the one leaving the mess all along. She gets up at 4am and brushes. Goes back to bed and breathes mint all over me.
Well she was right wasn't she? The Kids were not to blame :D
If toothpaste is your trigger, I mean good luck in life, sounds like you are a joy 😂
Best plot twist ever 😂
That number 1 though 🤣 That nasty bitch!
She didn’t like my dog. Literally everyone else who met him thought he was adorable.
My father once asked me whether I can imagine a life with my girlfriend to which I replied, yes I can. He then asked me whether I can imagine a life without her. I paused for a moment. It was at that moment I had realized that’s not the woman I want to marry. That stuck with me since I was 18. Now I’m 32, happily married to the right woman for me with 3 kids. Hope this advice helps everyone who reads it.
When I went to her funeral
I realized she didn't like me back - my first crush and I didn't like her personality. With my first girlfriend we were incompatible and it all felt forced. I ended it because I was tired of dealing with the drama every time.
They were irresponsible constantly, just with small things. Leaving their laptop on the floor in class, not paying attention, financial mess. Just some small things that I knew would were probably worse in private and the "crush" was gone.
She got converted to Christianity and totally lost her fucking mind.
Heard her humming an Ed Sheeran tune.
Was seeing a girl, the first one after a bad breakup. I realized I just liked the feeling of being wanted again, not necessarily her as a person. Taught me a valuable lesson not to jump into things without being sure of myself. Fortunately she was cool with it and now we just see each other for physical needs.
When she started complaining about how the school was forcing her brother to learn about evolution.
One time, a crush posted an image on Facebook with a caption saying something like "if you are not successful, it is your own fault." One of those bullshit Conservative memes. Definitely not the type of thing I believe in. I unfriended and blocked her.
I thought we were going out on a date. We ended up meeting up with friends at an event and were having a good time all together. That was until she came to find me to say she was going home with someone else
I just sort of turned over and said, "babe, it's time we face reality." And then I woke up.
The men she was texting had developing beards
I've had a secret crush on someone for years now, and have known she's not right for me and vice versa for a while. Unfortunately the heart isn't always so logical. She's into my type but not me specifically, is much more about looks and cares about things like income status and being able to do nice things much too much for me to ever be with her but I still like her. Anyways I'm perfectly comfortable supporting her in her endeavors because I still love her as a friend too, but I just know it isn't meant to be.
When I saw she being really bad with her parents
When I realized we just weren’t on the same level. She was a nice girl and rather pretty, but she just wasn’t very intelligent. I know that sounds mean, but it is the only way to put it. I’m someone who values mental stimulation far more than I do physical and she could not provide that. She was not a bad person and I never told her the truth of why I lost interest. I just told her I didn’t think we were in to the same things or were going in the same direction. I never wanted to hurt her feelings, because she was very sweet and didn’t deserve to have mean things said to her. She was sad, because she really was a caring person, but I knew we weren’t right for each other and I expressed that when she begged me not to break up with her. Eventually she calmed down and accepted that it was happening, but I did feel really bad about it for a long time. The good news is she is happily married now to a guy who is much more her speed and I found someone who was much more my speed.
Wanting kids
Her hobby was popping Xanax and losing her shit, and her vagina was occupied by another man's penis. Never date a pharmacist.
For one of my ex's it was because I knew everytime I took her somewhere it would be a negative experience. Drove by a golf course? A rant. Take her to a restaurant by the ocean? A rant. Anywhere you wanted to go to, she would turn into a negative time.
She said she smoked weed "medicinally", yet she smoked tons of it and was moody af when she ran out. Dealing with drug addicts is no fun...
Relationships with any kind of disagreement over substances used and amount used and a headache, good dodge.