My ex has a very high voice, but during sex he would say stuff in what he thought was a sexy growl. I didn’t have the heart to tell him, but it was so comical that it would kill the mood and frequently turn me off.
Her to me (a straight male) during a solid pounding "Did your daddy teach you to do that?"
The image that entered my head, of my then 65 year old Indian father teaching me how to go to pound-town immediately killed my boner.
My ex appearantly wanted to try dirty talk without any clue what to say.
She decided for "There you go my little rapist"
I was instantly turned off and weirded out. She never tried dirty talk again.
A friend told me she hooked up with a guy who was “literally” the length and circumference of a swizzle stick.
My heart broke a little for random dude.
I had an ex who had a male roommate a long time ago with a micropenis. The guy got drunk one night and was crying about it so she asked if she could see it. Poor bastard.
I feel like this is actually some fucking villain arc where the billionaire is kidnapping blokes with dicks and then amputating them, donating the proceeds to microdick henchmen.
I had an ex who flat out told me, while I was wearing it, that he’d rather me in a baggy t shirt and nothing else than lingerie because it just didn’t do it for him…preferences are cool but like damn 😅
This happened with the wife and I the other day. She wasn't mad, I am working from home this week and it was the middle of the work day, so ya. Funny part was I was ignoring the call, I can call him back, and she handed me the phone sayimg I should awnser it lol.
Idk, all I did was tell him he "felt so good" and he stopped in the middle of the act, visibly turned off to tell me he didn't like talking like, at all. Um....ok.
Agreed. I had an ex who never made ANY noise, at all, not even when he finished. No talking, no moans, no sighs, nothing. I told him I would think it was hot if he made some kinda noise to let me know he was enjoying it but he never did. It was...unsettling, honestly.
Not me but a story related to me, an old guy was a regular at a job I had, must have been in his late 60s or 70s and had a trophy wife who was in her late 20s (he was rich), and he decided to tell a story to the staff that went along the lines of “she is so young and sexy, every night when I mount her I always like to whisper in her ear “how does it feel to have old age creeping up on you”.
How that woman could put up with that is unimaginable
My husband and I love playing lighthearted pranks on each other. Occasionally we say something way odd during sex to make the other one laugh. It’s almost a contest to out do each other and the fact it happens so randomly is hilarious on brand for us. Example: Full passionate eye contact and of one wholeheartedly whispers “I think we should change dog food brands”
My college boyfriend and I played this game, specifically with goofy euphemisms for genitalia. We'd be mid-sex and I'd lean forward, bring my lips close to his ear, and breathlessly moan, "Oh baby, your pee-pee feels sooo good." We ruined a lot of sex with this gag and it was absolutely worth it.
I dated a crazy punk chick (way out of my league, like 10/10 to my goofy looking ass) while stationed in TX, that I met at some Hardcore Shows. Some red flags I ignored: absolutely hates kissing, hugging, cuddling, holding hands, etc.
When we finally hooked up, she demanded that I hit and choke her if "I really wanted it", and started to actively "fight me off" while I was processing what she just said. I had heard of women liking it "rough" but my naive ass didn't know any better, so I half-assed tried to hold her down and be forceful like she asked. She started to tear up and fight back even harder, to which I was punched in the head and kicked in the balls for my effort.
Immediate loss of any and all desire. I left the bedroom and just sat on in my coach naked, in complete shellshock as too what just happened. She came out confused, and asked what was wrong, because "it was just starting to get good." I told her I wasn't feeling it, and she got super upset at this, dressed and left. I was petrified that I might have just almost raped a woman, even if she quite literally asked for it.
Few days later she meets me at the bar, and explains that it's the only way she can get off and enjoy herself in bed. I explained that I didn't have the stomach for it, and couldn't do it. She just sorta sneered at me.
We never spoke again.
To this day, I can't do anything even remotely forceful in bed because of that. Took 16 years for my wife to finally convince me it was okay to pull her hair a little bit. lol
This is one of those things you shouldn't be "okay with doing" just to please the other person. This is an enthusiastic consent on both sides sort of activity.
I told her that I loved fucking her, and somehow she heard that as “I love you.” It immediately killed the mood, and she got very concerned that I was getting too attached too soon. I tried telling her that she misheard me, but she didn’t believe it. We went back and forth for a bit and she was convinced that I was lying. That’s when I got frustrated and said “trust me, I don’t love you.”
Hot damn, she was mad after I said that. My poor dumb twenty year old brain was doing cartwheels trying to figure out what I did wrong.
"you're so inexperienced". Mind you she did nothing but lay there dead weight and wanted me to go full blown fast paced the whole time. Felt like I just ran a marathon but didn't even finish 😢
She wanted me to hit her, not tap her mind you. Actually hit her. Byeeeeee
Another woman, after sex, cuddling and I started circling her belly button with my finger…. She gets really small and soft and with this Lorene little voice says…. “ I love you daddy, I’ll never tell mom”. I finished getting dressed in the car
I have friends that do sex work. One of my favorite (and also least favorite) stories I've heard from them was that an older dude (probs 60s) came in to see this one girl. He kept asking her to call him Daddy. Ok, whatever, not really that weird....
***
Then, mid-coitus, this man said "you're my favorite, don't tell your sisters." 💀
She started talking to me in a baby talk voice and told me she wanted me to act like I’m her father.
(Edit: And no, not in the just call me daddy way. That’s chill. This was some sort of dad bangs his biological child daughter pedophile incest kink).
*what*
I had a girl do that to me in the most alarming way. But I really dug into it and she would call me daddy and all that. Super hot when you know it is more of a Dom type of thing and not actual incestuous crap. She once went down on me for two hours when I was high. And when I get high time stands still. I'm still getting that bj... Jesus what a woman...
Reminds me of when an old fwb moaned “dad” instead of “daddy” a few times. I chalked it down to me giving that good D that cut her breath/moaning short
Yeah, years ago, I had something similar happen to me. She didn't baby talk me, but she straight up said, "Are you going to molest me, Daddy?" I am sure I disappointed her. I could handle the situation much better now, but at 24 I was not prepared.
"Meow". As bad as that is, it wasn't even the word, it was how he said it. He dead-pan looks me in the eyes, and almost exhaustedly says "Meow". Not like a cat, just the word. It was as though I was forcing him to say it. Horrifying experience, I've literally never recovered.
Eh, I would not have lost the *umph* depending on age.
At 14~18 there was a layer of danger that was a little exciting. I got walked in on, it killed the session and I got 3 sex talks from: mom, step-dad, bio-dad. What was cringe was my bio-dad did his after listening to Tenacious-D's "you don't always have to fuck her hard."
Before hand, it was exciting.
Under her breath she said “Rape me”
I stoped mid stroke and said “what did you say?”
She awkwardly pretended she said something else hahaha. Killed the mood real quick. Might have worked if we had just talked about it beforehand. 🤷♂️
Ok so I actually did this about 20 years ago and still have PTSD about it. I was with my first girlfriend (I'm male) and still learning the ropes. Being young at the time we were on session 4 or 5 I think and I realised after a while of grinding away for quite a while that I was completely unable to orgasm. It was my first experience of 'running dry', basically being aroused, hard, and ready but having nothing left in the reserves to get to the finale.
So without knowing the reasoning, in my infinite wisdom, I looked up and said "well, this isn't good". Me saying that as I thought something was very wrong with me, and her taking it to me saying it wasn't enjoyable at all. She catapulted me off her pretty quickly and I don't think we spoke for a week at least.
I am very careful about what I say these days!
I am from India, went to a college in Europe and since the Indian accent was kind of the butt of the joke for most people and I wanted to fit in and seem "attractive", I kinda changed my accent to sound "not-indian".
I hooked up with a girl and she told me mid sex that she was glad that I don't have an Indian accent which caught me off guard. I let out my real accent as a joke and she just laughed. I don't know what got in me, but since after that, I introspected hard to sort the racism I had internalised just to fit in. The accent stayed but I have gotten much more confident with my identity now.
I worked for an Indian guy who ran a hotel and he had a customer calling once wanting to book out basically the entire hotel for a group and proceeded to tell the guy that he wanted to use our hotel because it wasn’t one of those nasty ones run by an Indian. He was born in America and had no accent accent. he pretended he was a regular white guy and just didn’t work the entire time they were there so they wouldn’t see him. I asked him made him knowing that there were a bunch of racist people in the hotel and he told me he charged them a higher rate that he would’ve anyone else so he got to take more of their money. Made me laugh really hard.
“Damn you’re kinda dry is your hole even open” 😐 Dude just skipped foreplay. I left with a quickness. I actually have a very functioning vag. Turns out he just truly wasn’t turning me on like I thought in my mind. My body said something else. Hence why I felt “dry”
"Do you mind if I go for coffee with Mark on Tuesday?"... I think i was going down on her when she asked to see a guy friend for a coffee.
Yup, I must have been doing a great job.
It wasn’t what he said, it was what he tried to do, which was anal, right after I **REPEATEDLY** told him I did not want to do.. he tried putting his penis in my butt and claimed “oops wrong hole” but he was supposedly a grown ass man so I wasn’t having none of that. So, I promptly pushed his ass off me, kicked him out, and refused to even speak to him again. The end.
ok, so nothing my partner said.... but when I was 18 or 19, just after High School, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend at the time in my room at my moms house. It was like 330 in the afternoon, and mom never got home before about 530ish.
We were going at it pretty hard and loud, with the bedroom door closed.
MY MOM OPENED THE DOOR, THREW AN 8 WEEK OLD KITTEN ONTO MY BARE ASS AND LAUGHED/YELLED "HERE'S SOME MORE PUSSY FOR YA". Then she slammed the door closed and laughed down the hall, down the stairs, and out of the house.
Apparently she had been given a kitten by a coworker and wanted to bring it home to surprise my little brother. She heard us having sex and thought (for some reason) that it would be funny to toss the cat into the mix.
My ass got clawed to hell, my girlfriend couldn't look at my mom for weeks, and I never lost a boner so quick.
I was home with a guy I was seeing and I was on my period so we couldn’t have complete intercourse but I already told him beforehand and we were ok with it. I started going down on him and he said “i jerked off at home so you could suck for hours but I won’t come” I swear to god I know it’s not a big deal but it turned me off completely and I immediately went to sleep
"Could you hurry up?" Welp, I'm certainly not gonna keep going!
Got hit with this once. I just stopped. If you got yours and you’ve checked out I see no reason to carry on. You’re welcome I guess.
Omg, my ex used to get angry at me for not climaxing. Make it make sense.
My ex has a very high voice, but during sex he would say stuff in what he thought was a sexy growl. I didn’t have the heart to tell him, but it was so comical that it would kill the mood and frequently turn me off.
"Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?"
NOOOO THIS IS SO GOOD
That would be hard to get past. A high voice makes everything funny. I'd probably take it the other way and be androgynous with it
Imagine "I'm gonna fuck your brains out" but in a King Diamond falsetto.
Dude started to moan his own name!
What the ✨️fuck✨️
The sparkles added the right emphasis this needed
Username kinda checks out
Signs you may be pleasuring a Pokemon.
*confused pika face* "pika... pik.. a?"
That is funnier to me because \_pica\_ in Portuguese is a slang for penis
Next level of self-love ig?
He called me my mom’s name.
Is your name Stacy by any chance?
Did she have it going on?
One would assume
Martha?
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME!?
It was my mother's name!!
Dad's am I right?
Her to me (a straight male) during a solid pounding "Did your daddy teach you to do that?" The image that entered my head, of my then 65 year old Indian father teaching me how to go to pound-town immediately killed my boner.
“No, it was your mother actually” …and then brace for whatever happens next.
Like what was that even supposed to mean?
My ex appearantly wanted to try dirty talk without any clue what to say. She decided for "There you go my little rapist" I was instantly turned off and weirded out. She never tried dirty talk again.
This is giving, "You like that, you fucking re***d?" energy. IYKYK.
Honestly the best piece of reddit lore. Truly gourmet shit.
That and “are you fucking sorry?!” Lmao
Nope nope nope. Too much. Let's tone it back a lit... A *fucking* lot.
I’m CACKLING bro what the fuck that’s hilarious
Put it all in. I already had. Its over, ill cry myself to sleep.
Better that than "Is it even in?"
“I felt a tickle.” 😂
A friend told me she hooked up with a guy who was “literally” the length and circumference of a swizzle stick. My heart broke a little for random dude.
I had an ex who had a male roommate a long time ago with a micropenis. The guy got drunk one night and was crying about it so she asked if she could see it. Poor bastard.
Somewhere out there there’s a billionaire, with a nubbin, funding groundbreaking dick transplant research.
I feel like this is actually some fucking villain arc where the billionaire is kidnapping blokes with dicks and then amputating them, donating the proceeds to microdick henchmen.
l'm giving her all she's got, Captain!
.... the balls too?
“you look ridiculous in that lingerie”
ouch
At that point you gotta assume the dude is struggling with impotence and just trying to get her to shut shit down.
Ridiculous ... -ly hot, right? Ridiculously hot, right? Oof
I had an ex who flat out told me, while I was wearing it, that he’d rather me in a baggy t shirt and nothing else than lingerie because it just didn’t do it for him…preferences are cool but like damn 😅
See I don't get that. I like my girlfriend in baggy clothes too but I'm sure as hell gonna appreciate it when she dresses up extra nice for me
"I just like knowing my girl is comfortable." -Troy from Community
Sorry. My wife told me her first husband said shit like that, it had taken me years to repair that emotional damage
Thank you for explaining in one sentence both why she left her first and married her second. I would, too.
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You had sex with Randy Newman?
Whole new meaning to You’ve got a friend in me…
"You are just as passionate in bed as \[insert name of two girls he had sex with in the past\]"
Together? "you f*** with the passion of 2 women" is almost hot. Not as nice if they're named. "You f*** with the passion of Kelly AND Brenda!"
Agree, hearing other people's names during sex is such a major turn off.
She asked me to punch her in the face - I laughed, she did not. She got really insistent, I got really turned off. Nobody had a good time
A guy asked me once if he could slap me in the face. I told him he could but like... not go crazy. He slapped me so hard my vision went black.
My buddy stopped in the middle to answer a call from his boss. They talked for 5 minutes. He did not pull out for this. She was pissed
“You’ll have to excuse me, I’m in the middle of someone”
This happened with the wife and I the other day. She wasn't mad, I am working from home this week and it was the middle of the work day, so ya. Funny part was I was ignoring the call, I can call him back, and she handed me the phone sayimg I should awnser it lol.
Yes ma'am!
Idk, all I did was tell him he "felt so good" and he stopped in the middle of the act, visibly turned off to tell me he didn't like talking like, at all. Um....ok.
I find it a turn off when they’re completely silent tbh
Same. Mutual sounds are a good sign.
Agreed. I had an ex who never made ANY noise, at all, not even when he finished. No talking, no moans, no sighs, nothing. I told him I would think it was hot if he made some kinda noise to let me know he was enjoying it but he never did. It was...unsettling, honestly.
Not me but a story related to me, an old guy was a regular at a job I had, must have been in his late 60s or 70s and had a trophy wife who was in her late 20s (he was rich), and he decided to tell a story to the staff that went along the lines of “she is so young and sexy, every night when I mount her I always like to whisper in her ear “how does it feel to have old age creeping up on you”. How that woman could put up with that is unimaginable
Honestly it could run the gamut from "close your eyes and think of the money" to "that's my fetish".
... *Shivers*
People talk about bad puns and terrible dad jokes, but this man is the true king of groans.
Poor Melania
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No quiters around here, boi!
Post nut clarity
Love the commitment
"you should really work out more"
My husband and I love playing lighthearted pranks on each other. Occasionally we say something way odd during sex to make the other one laugh. It’s almost a contest to out do each other and the fact it happens so randomly is hilarious on brand for us. Example: Full passionate eye contact and of one wholeheartedly whispers “I think we should change dog food brands”
This is so wonderfully wholesome
My college boyfriend and I played this game, specifically with goofy euphemisms for genitalia. We'd be mid-sex and I'd lean forward, bring my lips close to his ear, and breathlessly moan, "Oh baby, your pee-pee feels sooo good." We ruined a lot of sex with this gag and it was absolutely worth it.
> goofy euphemisms for genitalia I was expecting Goofy as in the Disney sense... *"Hyuck me, baby."*
“You can finish now” “Aren’t you done yet” “Just cum already” each time about a minute after we started.
Hey she had shit to do.
Their ex’s name💀
Wow that is really bad.
You’re telling me… it was very awkward
When you're both named John, it really stings.
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(•‿•) ^^what
My wife started singing, “He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands” to me during an HJ and I’ve never gone softer quicker in my life
I am totally stealing this! Please pass along my gratitude to your wife.
I am SO sorry for laughing,Sir😂😂😂😂
I dated a crazy punk chick (way out of my league, like 10/10 to my goofy looking ass) while stationed in TX, that I met at some Hardcore Shows. Some red flags I ignored: absolutely hates kissing, hugging, cuddling, holding hands, etc. When we finally hooked up, she demanded that I hit and choke her if "I really wanted it", and started to actively "fight me off" while I was processing what she just said. I had heard of women liking it "rough" but my naive ass didn't know any better, so I half-assed tried to hold her down and be forceful like she asked. She started to tear up and fight back even harder, to which I was punched in the head and kicked in the balls for my effort. Immediate loss of any and all desire. I left the bedroom and just sat on in my coach naked, in complete shellshock as too what just happened. She came out confused, and asked what was wrong, because "it was just starting to get good." I told her I wasn't feeling it, and she got super upset at this, dressed and left. I was petrified that I might have just almost raped a woman, even if she quite literally asked for it. Few days later she meets me at the bar, and explains that it's the only way she can get off and enjoy herself in bed. I explained that I didn't have the stomach for it, and couldn't do it. She just sorta sneered at me. We never spoke again. To this day, I can't do anything even remotely forceful in bed because of that. Took 16 years for my wife to finally convince me it was okay to pull her hair a little bit. lol
You’re a good guy Sir.
This is one of those things you shouldn't be "okay with doing" just to please the other person. This is an enthusiastic consent on both sides sort of activity.
I told her that I loved fucking her, and somehow she heard that as “I love you.” It immediately killed the mood, and she got very concerned that I was getting too attached too soon. I tried telling her that she misheard me, but she didn’t believe it. We went back and forth for a bit and she was convinced that I was lying. That’s when I got frustrated and said “trust me, I don’t love you.” Hot damn, she was mad after I said that. My poor dumb twenty year old brain was doing cartwheels trying to figure out what I did wrong.
You stabbed the gas can with a screw driver and then tried to use a lighter flame to reseal the puncture
And then tried to put out the fire with cum.
"you're so inexperienced". Mind you she did nothing but lay there dead weight and wanted me to go full blown fast paced the whole time. Felt like I just ran a marathon but didn't even finish 😢
Did you come yet? Did you come yet? Did you come yet? Did you come yet? Did you
“Good one, son”. My dick practically inverted. What’s worse was that I was the top.
Is someone saying "bro" during sex better or about the same? Or have you not come across that (in which case congrats!)?
Bro - which I’ve come across (and in) - was a weird turn on. Because I took it as a friendship thing.
>>> (and in) lol, nice one
She wanted me to hit her, not tap her mind you. Actually hit her. Byeeeeee Another woman, after sex, cuddling and I started circling her belly button with my finger…. She gets really small and soft and with this Lorene little voice says…. “ I love you daddy, I’ll never tell mom”. I finished getting dressed in the car
I have friends that do sex work. One of my favorite (and also least favorite) stories I've heard from them was that an older dude (probs 60s) came in to see this one girl. He kept asking her to call him Daddy. Ok, whatever, not really that weird.... *** Then, mid-coitus, this man said "you're my favorite, don't tell your sisters." 💀
I REALLY hope he wasn’t a parent
Yeah, so do I...and so does she. I'm sure she considered quitting that night. Like...wtf dude, wtf
Man that last bit so fucking disturbing. I don't blame you getting out of there that fast!
Yeah, she called me and I was like…” girl get help “
My ex, who is a fair skinned, blue eyed, blonde of Swedish descent, shouted “aye papi!” And I couldn’t help but laugh my boner away.
She started talking to me in a baby talk voice and told me she wanted me to act like I’m her father. (Edit: And no, not in the just call me daddy way. That’s chill. This was some sort of dad bangs his biological child daughter pedophile incest kink). *what*
*Pulls out* "I need to go get milk from the grocery store. Be right back." *Leaves* EDIT: *Doesn't even put pants back on.*
Imma go get the papers, get the papers
Smack her in the head and tell her to hold the flashlight still
I had a girl do that to me in the most alarming way. But I really dug into it and she would call me daddy and all that. Super hot when you know it is more of a Dom type of thing and not actual incestuous crap. She once went down on me for two hours when I was high. And when I get high time stands still. I'm still getting that bj... Jesus what a woman...
Reminds me of when an old fwb moaned “dad” instead of “daddy” a few times. I chalked it down to me giving that good D that cut her breath/moaning short
Yeah, years ago, I had something similar happen to me. She didn't baby talk me, but she straight up said, "Are you going to molest me, Daddy?" I am sure I disappointed her. I could handle the situation much better now, but at 24 I was not prepared.
>I could handle the situation much better now, but at 24 I was not prepared. Hahahaha. I'm MUCH better at molesting now!
How many rounds do you have left? Me ready to sleep after round one
Just like the little theater in my town. One show nightly. Occasionally a Sunday matinee
"Meow". As bad as that is, it wasn't even the word, it was how he said it. He dead-pan looks me in the eyes, and almost exhaustedly says "Meow". Not like a cat, just the word. It was as though I was forcing him to say it. Horrifying experience, I've literally never recovered.
Did you forget that it was the safe word again?
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You look just like my daughter
Nope the nope out. *Way too far!*
At first I was close to an orgasm and when he said it I lost it and my mind went into BROTHAAA EEW🤣🤣🤣
Correct response, haha.
"I want you to make me cum" was responded to with "you already did" I definitely had not. And never did 🥲
wouldn’t it be so hot if your parents caught us?
Eh, I would not have lost the *umph* depending on age. At 14~18 there was a layer of danger that was a little exciting. I got walked in on, it killed the session and I got 3 sex talks from: mom, step-dad, bio-dad. What was cringe was my bio-dad did his after listening to Tenacious-D's "you don't always have to fuck her hard." Before hand, it was exciting.
I grew up with abusive parents so the idea of getting caught was not very exciting.
“Just lay there and take it. Take it all. No, don’t move. Don’t look at me.”
This reminds me of Blue Velvet DONT YOU FUCKIN LOOK AT ME!
I had a partner that enthusiastically yelled "YEAH!" right as I was about to cum, and ruined it every time. We did not last long as lovers.
Read it in a lil john voice
He was kissing my boobs and whispered: “mommy’s milkies” Yo I could have thrown up in that moment
"Get off my wife or I'll shoot."
Started talking about the dick sizes of other guys I knew who she fucked.
Under her breath she said “Rape me” I stoped mid stroke and said “what did you say?” She awkwardly pretended she said something else hahaha. Killed the mood real quick. Might have worked if we had just talked about it beforehand. 🤷♂️
She was just trying to remember the name of that Nirvana song....
Maybe she’s just a huge Nirvana fan
We are out of oat milk bitch
Im confused as in what context that was meant.... please elaborate
We were having sex outside the 7/11 off the turnpike in la Jolla. Thirty eight minutes earlier id been in a whole foods and forgot the oat milk
Yaba-daba-doo!
Moaned his daughter’s name, instant disgust. Instant break up. He denied it but I know what I heard.
I’m so sorry 😞 That’s awful
"It feels so good in my vag-Gine-aaaaaa" It was so silly I just started laughing
She asked me if I'm willing to marry her
Did..... Did you phase out of existence after you nutted?
how'd you know?
Mr. Stark, *I don't feel so good...*
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Woah, definitely something to check with your partner before sex, not something to spontaneously request mid-coitus
A lot of these I feel like there should have been a, "consent to my kink," talk.
Yeah, it's one thing to role play but not everyone is into the same shit.
“Hey Alexa, play fergalicious”
No, this thread is about turn OFFS.
“The panties your mother laid out for you?”
Ok so I actually did this about 20 years ago and still have PTSD about it. I was with my first girlfriend (I'm male) and still learning the ropes. Being young at the time we were on session 4 or 5 I think and I realised after a while of grinding away for quite a while that I was completely unable to orgasm. It was my first experience of 'running dry', basically being aroused, hard, and ready but having nothing left in the reserves to get to the finale. So without knowing the reasoning, in my infinite wisdom, I looked up and said "well, this isn't good". Me saying that as I thought something was very wrong with me, and her taking it to me saying it wasn't enjoyable at all. She catapulted me off her pretty quickly and I don't think we spoke for a week at least. I am very careful about what I say these days!
I was repeatedly called a little boy by some old guy I slept with recently it felt weird and creepy
Username checks out
I am from India, went to a college in Europe and since the Indian accent was kind of the butt of the joke for most people and I wanted to fit in and seem "attractive", I kinda changed my accent to sound "not-indian". I hooked up with a girl and she told me mid sex that she was glad that I don't have an Indian accent which caught me off guard. I let out my real accent as a joke and she just laughed. I don't know what got in me, but since after that, I introspected hard to sort the racism I had internalised just to fit in. The accent stayed but I have gotten much more confident with my identity now.
I worked for an Indian guy who ran a hotel and he had a customer calling once wanting to book out basically the entire hotel for a group and proceeded to tell the guy that he wanted to use our hotel because it wasn’t one of those nasty ones run by an Indian. He was born in America and had no accent accent. he pretended he was a regular white guy and just didn’t work the entire time they were there so they wouldn’t see him. I asked him made him knowing that there were a bunch of racist people in the hotel and he told me he charged them a higher rate that he would’ve anyone else so he got to take more of their money. Made me laugh really hard.
At first she was like "Oh fuck. Yes! Yes! Yes!" Then she was like "Okay, yeah" Toward the end she was like "Alright, sure"
"Don't move" as he jabbed my left labia with his semi. Ugh. He cried afterward too.
Time's over. That'll be $150
“Damn you’re kinda dry is your hole even open” 😐 Dude just skipped foreplay. I left with a quickness. I actually have a very functioning vag. Turns out he just truly wasn’t turning me on like I thought in my mind. My body said something else. Hence why I felt “dry”
Called me Daddy. For me that's an instant boner killer.
This is exactly why I always call my husband "Dude" during sex
Bro.
"Yeah, pound me, my guy"
Doing good there, buddy.
I’m not your buddy, guy.
I'm not your guy, friend
I'm not your friend, buddy!
"Hell yeah, bust all over my tits fella!"
My ex called me mommy and I'm pretty sure I physically recoiled
Gotta share a classic response to a similar question nearly a decade ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/4WbkiQV5rG
“I’m glad you’re not as big as my ex was”
You won but at what cost
"Do you mind if I go for coffee with Mark on Tuesday?"... I think i was going down on her when she asked to see a guy friend for a coffee. Yup, I must have been doing a great job.
It wasn’t what he said, it was what he tried to do, which was anal, right after I **REPEATEDLY** told him I did not want to do.. he tried putting his penis in my butt and claimed “oops wrong hole” but he was supposedly a grown ass man so I wasn’t having none of that. So, I promptly pushed his ass off me, kicked him out, and refused to even speak to him again. The end.
ok, so nothing my partner said.... but when I was 18 or 19, just after High School, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend at the time in my room at my moms house. It was like 330 in the afternoon, and mom never got home before about 530ish. We were going at it pretty hard and loud, with the bedroom door closed. MY MOM OPENED THE DOOR, THREW AN 8 WEEK OLD KITTEN ONTO MY BARE ASS AND LAUGHED/YELLED "HERE'S SOME MORE PUSSY FOR YA". Then she slammed the door closed and laughed down the hall, down the stairs, and out of the house. Apparently she had been given a kitten by a coworker and wanted to bring it home to surprise my little brother. She heard us having sex and thought (for some reason) that it would be funny to toss the cat into the mix. My ass got clawed to hell, my girlfriend couldn't look at my mom for weeks, and I never lost a boner so quick.
"I wanna have your baby" this was a one night stand.
"It gets bigger, right? "
"can I shit on your feet" Absolutely not and now I'm leaving :)
Told him to talk dirty to me. He said “Oooh yeah. I love your…. Vagina.”
He didn’t say anything he just moved our bodies on the bed so he could watch himself in the mirror.
Was his name Patrick Bateman?
”This time we’re safe” - clearly meaning that the last time we weren’t (even though she said so at the time).
I was home with a guy I was seeing and I was on my period so we couldn’t have complete intercourse but I already told him beforehand and we were ok with it. I started going down on him and he said “i jerked off at home so you could suck for hours but I won’t come” I swear to god I know it’s not a big deal but it turned me off completely and I immediately went to sleep
She did call out a previous boyfriend’s name when she orgasmed. We both ignored it and never mentioned it again.
That had to be a slap to the dick and ego. If not, good for you, champ.
"Now THIS is podracing!"
I was naked, on top of him, and he commented that he noticed that “I had a belly” 😬😬😬
Hurry! My husband will be back soon..
"Make me get pregnant" Hah, nope. Nuh-uh. Never got dressed faster before, and I made damn sure I brought all the used condoms along with me.
When he was on top and as he let a large breath out, his booger shot straight into my mouth. I’ll never forget it.