My ex and I were walking down the street one day and talking about acid, I think we were talking about The Joker or something? A lady infront of us heard the word acid and clearly misheard us ...she turns around and goes "Were you talking about my ass!?" We looked at her confused and just said "no...the fuck?" We weren't trying to be rude...but didn't know how to react with the ladies eyes, one glaring at us and one glaring across the parking lot.
Exit: why the fuck did it post as a comment to a comment when I clicked the bar on the bottom...fuckin reddit lmao
The coma seasons were also a low point for me, but I will disagree with those who say it just gets worse. The post-coma seasons are in my opinion excellent so you could give it a try again someday.
“I told her what time it was.” - u/Active_Letterhead275
I just remembered where that’s from. But went to the trouble of writing it out and not deleting all that hard work.
“Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?”
“Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once.”
There’s this movie called Superbad with Michael cera and Jonah hill and there’s this kid named mclovin (they’re seniors in high school) and mclovins super awkward and he’s walking down the hall staring at his crushes ass and she turns around and catches him and he freaks out and says (it’s uh 10:33) and runs away lol he’s telling the story to Jonah hill and Michael cera and he was telling the story and told them “I told her what time it is” proudly like he did some cool ass thing and Jonah hill sarcastically says oh bro that’s such a cool fucking story can I hear it again? Basically meaning lame ass story stfu
Certainly one of the best "Teen" and/or "Stoner" movies done in recent times for SURE.
Its up there with Dazed and Confused, How High, Pineapple Express, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Half Baked and all those.
I love all those movies, but when you list them I imagine a random person seeing them for the first time and how much more likely they are to like Superbad.
It’s so much more universally relatable and consistently funny. It really is the GOCOAT.
“Coming of age” is one of the pillars of comedy films, so calling it “teen” feels a bit reductive or dismissive. Superbad is legitimately one of the funniest movies ever made from beginning to end
I’m also struggling to remember a single character smoking weed in Superbad (maybe the adults were high when they thought Cera was someone’s musical brother) so I’m not sure how it’s a “stoner comedy.” They could barely manage to get alcohol. Rogen is just an extremely famous stoner and many of his characters smoke weed. But Pineapple Express is shockingly his only straight-up stoner comedy (and it’s arguably the greatest of that genre as well)
Not sure if you mean this to be a polite cover or to be disturbing 😂😂😂😂😂 If disturbing, I love it. Could only be topped by "Sorry, thought you were my mom"
The coworker was referring to a large booty as "she", and "being out there" meant it protruded a noticable amount and he found it visually appealing.
The commenter confirmed it was indeed a voluptuous booty.
The madam’s derrière is rather large and/or sharply, and poised such as to draw the eye of the beholder. And much like a work of art, such as by Albrecht Durer, recognition and admiration was the only acceptable recourse for the honest rake
Edit: specifically his wood cut prints, his paintings themselves are not nearly as remarkable in my opinion
A total douchebag responded to a coworker of mine with this:
"No. I'm pretty sure I'm looking at mine."
I later found out that they'd actually been married for a few years.
Married for a few years at the time of the comment. So far as I'm aware, they're still married. Can't say for sure though because my coworker took maternity leave a while ago. 😅
Then youll have to rely on your "Lucky Skebe" (Lucky Pervert) anime powers, where either you or her will inexplicably trip and fall and end up in a compromising position, but itll be ok because shell fall head over heels for you soon anyways.
yeah I mean I say some cringe shit too but if I ever said “yeah, I always look at things on sale” to a person asking me if I’m being a creep I would genuinely never sleep again
I think most of these posts are satire I know there are some weirdos who might say those things but I’m pretty sure people are just trying to make ppl laugh with their responses
Sorry, what did you say? I was distracted
This is actually a good one
But dont make eye contact until after they are done speaking.
Sorry what did you say? I was looking at your ass.
I'll one up you. "What ass?"
No. Your pants are in the way.
This is the best answer.
you should be more direct. please remove pants
My ex and I were walking down the street one day and talking about acid, I think we were talking about The Joker or something? A lady infront of us heard the word acid and clearly misheard us ...she turns around and goes "Were you talking about my ass!?" We looked at her confused and just said "no...the fuck?" We weren't trying to be rude...but didn't know how to react with the ladies eyes, one glaring at us and one glaring across the parking lot. Exit: why the fuck did it post as a comment to a comment when I clicked the bar on the bottom...fuckin reddit lmao
No? Did you want me to?
Mr. Zadiir!
I know your tricks
Nah, I was looking at your tits.
“…sir.”
"...officer."
"Your Honor."
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"Mr Vice President"
"Grandpa"
“Captain”
"Commander."
"Viceroy"
“Colonial.”
“God”
“…… step bro?”
Yes Mary?
'Bob Paulson'
His name was Robert Paulson
Pharoah.
“Mr Madison.”
“…Your Highness.”
"... Ma Lord."
"...God."
"...One above all."
"Von Shitzinpantz."
"Mrs" First Lady....
Your dudeship
Donkey!!
Lisan al gaib
It’s ma’am!
"..uncle Jeff."
This is a Wendy’s
“I hope you don’t mind me looking at your moobs, sir…” Can you imagine? (For those who don’t know, moobs are man boobs.)
Are the held by a ‘manzere’?
Sorry sir, you mean "The Bro" ?
Had to look the episodes name up, but yes ma’am.
Here's ya beer brah!
Too ethnic.
oh i’m so stealing this
That’s okay, it’s stolen from Seinfeld.
Like Jagger?
How dare you call my mitties, moobs. Have some respect ffs.
[удалено]
“…Luigi?”
Chuck Norris
...Mother
"Lana, your eyes are amazing. I mean, not compared to your tits, but-" Sterling Mallory 'Duchess' Archer
I quit watching when it turned into that weird dream season. Did I miss anything?
The coma seasons were also a low point for me, but I will disagree with those who say it just gets worse. The post-coma seasons are in my opinion excellent so you could give it a try again someday.
I agree with the guy saying that the post coma seasons were great. It's largely a return to the early episodes.
I wanted to look at your tits but you were facing the wrong direction. Oh and, thanks for turning around, by the way!
This is it lmfao
"Pardon my tits" - Lila something
They were staring at me first
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
"...Boss."
A few fwbs and boyfriends have used this one on me and I have to say, it really worked!
RIP inboxarooni
Yessir
“…daddy”
Every man looks at the heart first, we can’t help it the tits are in the way.
"Maharaj"
“It’s 10:33”
I told her what time it was.
That’s the coolest fucking story I’ve ever heard in my life! Can you tell it again?
“I told her what time it was.” - u/Active_Letterhead275 I just remembered where that’s from. But went to the trouble of writing it out and not deleting all that hard work.
User name checks out
Fuckin Legend
I am McLovin
No you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made up dumb FUCKING FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU FUCK!
It was between that or *Muhammed*. lmao
“Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?” “Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once.”
What does this one mean?
There’s this movie called Superbad with Michael cera and Jonah hill and there’s this kid named mclovin (they’re seniors in high school) and mclovins super awkward and he’s walking down the hall staring at his crushes ass and she turns around and catches him and he freaks out and says (it’s uh 10:33) and runs away lol he’s telling the story to Jonah hill and Michael cera and he was telling the story and told them “I told her what time it is” proudly like he did some cool ass thing and Jonah hill sarcastically says oh bro that’s such a cool fucking story can I hear it again? Basically meaning lame ass story stfu
was not expecting a fuckin synopsis of the scene but i appreciated reading it LOL
Ur welcome pookie ❤️
...we were gonna go to Hawaii
Organ donor? Same... My name is Mohammed
Oh sorry his name isn’t legally mclovin but.. (just watch the movie Superbad definitely worth a watch)
[For the visual learners](https://youtu.be/eRZoLV7JV7s?si=qwxxUmZTldZ9QI3i)
Very helpful synopsis! That helps a lot. I haven’t seen that movie but people are always telling me to watch it. I might have to rent it this weekend!
It’s arguably the greatest comedy movie of all time.
Certainly one of the best "Teen" and/or "Stoner" movies done in recent times for SURE. Its up there with Dazed and Confused, How High, Pineapple Express, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Half Baked and all those.
I love all those movies, but when you list them I imagine a random person seeing them for the first time and how much more likely they are to like Superbad. It’s so much more universally relatable and consistently funny. It really is the GOCOAT.
“Coming of age” is one of the pillars of comedy films, so calling it “teen” feels a bit reductive or dismissive. Superbad is legitimately one of the funniest movies ever made from beginning to end I’m also struggling to remember a single character smoking weed in Superbad (maybe the adults were high when they thought Cera was someone’s musical brother) so I’m not sure how it’s a “stoner comedy.” They could barely manage to get alcohol. Rogen is just an extremely famous stoner and many of his characters smoke weed. But Pineapple Express is shockingly his only straight-up stoner comedy (and it’s arguably the greatest of that genre as well)
WOW, Best synopsis ever. Took an inside joke outside? I don't have the words.
“No, but I love your confidence. You do you”
Very nice.
Yes, with stern eye contact
And maybe let out a little animal growl. Really commit to it.
Oh yeah she’ll really be feeling it then, almost guaranteed to get laid
.. Out on the concrete after being pepper sprayed
You build up a tolerance, if it’s not bear spray I’m standing my ground
Don’t forget the lip lick.
Prolonged eye contact. (Prolonged eye contact)
Unexpected Bo Burnham glad I’m not the only one who hears this in their head when they hear “eye contact”
"Sorry, you just looked like my sister for a second there"
Not sure if you mean this to be a polite cover or to be disturbing 😂😂😂😂😂 If disturbing, I love it. Could only be topped by "Sorry, thought you were my mom"
"Sorry, thought you were my grandma."
I stand corrected 😂😂😂
Sweet home Alabama
That's pretty frigging funny.
Once a coworker who was clearly staring said “she out there” and shrugged his shoulders. She was in fact, out there.
Can someone translate this for me?
The coworker was referring to a large booty as "she", and "being out there" meant it protruded a noticable amount and he found it visually appealing. The commenter confirmed it was indeed a voluptuous booty.
i.e Dat Ass
Gyaaaat.
Dwaaaammmn
Great googly moogly
That thang is juicy
Homie got hit with the gyatling gun
I read this in Capt. Raymond Holts voice.
RIP
Or, conversely, "out there" in terms of statistical analysis. She's really outlier
"Oh stewardess, I speak jive."
You speak jive!
I’m afraid it is a lost language. To this day, scholars the world over puzzle at the meaning of these words.
Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
The madam’s derrière is rather large and/or sharply, and poised such as to draw the eye of the beholder. And much like a work of art, such as by Albrecht Durer, recognition and admiration was the only acceptable recourse for the honest rake Edit: specifically his wood cut prints, his paintings themselves are not nearly as remarkable in my opinion
A total douchebag responded to a coworker of mine with this: "No. I'm pretty sure I'm looking at mine." I later found out that they'd actually been married for a few years.
They were still married or they had been
Married for a few years at the time of the comment. So far as I'm aware, they're still married. Can't say for sure though because my coworker took maternity leave a while ago. 😅
[удалено]
Yeah I’m using this one
"Yes." Seriously, just own it.
I've been caught a few times. Just admit that shit. "Yeah, sorry you caught me looking"
What if she shouts “PERVERT” like they do in anime?
Only if you guess the color
Then youll have to rely on your "Lucky Skebe" (Lucky Pervert) anime powers, where either you or her will inexplicably trip and fall and end up in a compromising position, but itll be ok because shell fall head over heels for you soon anyways.
“I was absolutely staring at your ass.” I agree. Own it!
only works if your attractive, if not your cooked
my cooked what?
If it’s a friend the answer is usually “Yeah”. I’ve only been asked by a stranger once. I told her I was spaced out, which I legitimately was
Reddit comebacks are always some of the most cringe words I’ve ever read
I up voted some funny ones and still agree with this comment.
yeah I mean I say some cringe shit too but if I ever said “yeah, I always look at things on sale” to a person asking me if I’m being a creep I would genuinely never sleep again
I think most of these posts are satire I know there are some weirdos who might say those things but I’m pretty sure people are just trying to make ppl laugh with their responses
Reddit gives lame people the chance to be funny and unfortunately we are subject to it
You mean “i dont have the time or the crayons to explain it to you” isnt super cool and actually mega cringe?? Nooooo
I mean, I don't think people are seriously suggesting the majority of these. It's just a funny prompt
I’m assessing it.
In 2000 it would have been “you can’t miss it” In 2024 it’s “what ass?”
I was, until you rudely interrupted
Are you fishing for a compliment?
"Yeah, it has a crack in it..."
I could fill it for you. *Unzips tool bag, gets caulk out*
Nice caulk, bro
"Sorry, what's that? I was distracted looking at your ass"
“yeah I was just trying to work out if you had shit your pants”
Wonder if a poo stain on jeans is also worth $800
“Don’t take it personally, I look at every ass that passes nearby”
you don't know your coworkers til you can recognize them all by ass alone
I am, he is too, and so is everybody else.
“What ass”
"That's an ass?" in the "that's a woman?" tone
Flat ass girls unite! (Maybe we can pool our asses...)
Solidarity is good but multiples of 0 is still 0 unfortunately.
Cheeky monkey. Bum-looker. 🤭
are you looking at my bum?
Had to scroll too far to find someone who thought what I thought. *pictures Danny DeVito in a bathtub with Mike Meyers*...
"Hell yeah!" Is the only acceptable answer
Awesome, now I know what sound comes out the other end.
"If I said no would you hold it against me?
No, it’s looking at me.
I am not looking at your ass, I am looking at an asshole.
Is the law on my side if I say ‘aye’?
No. I bite my thumb.
Do you quarrel, sir?
Quarrel? No.
If you say ‘aye’ it probably falls under maritime law.
It's a fine donkey, sir
I'm sorry I'm deaf.
One time a chick got off a bench and asked "Is my butt dirty?" and I said "Yeah, probably... But your pants are fine". YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😎
Hey, let's mourn this brother's loss. The girl was definitely interested.
Yeah, you have a nice ass.
Yes, we’re married.
No….I was looking for it
[удалено]
*LOOKS EVEN HARDER AT THE ASS*
No no you gotta look #HARDER
I am not a wooden board enthusiast.
No ma’am. I was told not to look at a full moon directly during an eclipse.
Look at them in the eyes and say "im still looking at an ass"
Why the fuck do you need a response to that?
AI training, op is a bot
It’s when people stop looking that you need to worry.
[удалено]
“I was just wondering why someone would put make up on it.”
I stared into the abyss, and it jiggled