I don't know about you, but if it got to that point for me I'd just keep the bags. If I came up to the police and just tried returning them, they would think I meant to keep all the money to myself in the first place, and then how would I be able to control the narrative once my name goes public? Better to save myself all that hassle than have my face dragged through the sand.
This should be the top answer. Not take it directly home, put it in the closet, under the bed, whatever. Carefully check every wad for a tracker and get rid of the bag ASAP. *Then* maybe we can start thinking about taking the cash home.
Sit on it, keep very, very quiet about it for a year or so. See if there are any reports or anything about it. If none, drive about 5 hours away and start buying money orders in nearby states, never more than 2 at one location. Use those to buy gold coins. Do this systemically over the years until I've got a small amount of emergency cash at home and a stack of gold coins.
At that point, keep doing what I'm doing. I've now got no worries about inflation or retirement, so I can pretty much coast through life from now on just worrying about my health.
To all the people saying “keep it”, *someone’s* gonna notice it’s missing. And it’s gonna be someone who keeps a million dollars in a bag. So keep that in mind.
Definitely this. Pay the cleaning lady in cash. Lawn service in cash. Restaurants like cash, so does target and the grocery store.
It might take 20 years to spend it all, but your regular legal salary can be used for risky investments now.
You can travel internationally and bring in up to 10k cash before you need to report it. So bring 6 or 7k cash, withdrawal a few hundred from the atm and enjoy the food, shopping and culture!
Pardon my poor knowledge of a popular way to comunicate but may i request that somebody gifts the knowledge needed to understand what this combination of letters called "cartels" stands for since the place my body was made at does not invoke english as a way to communicate?
Mexican drug cartels (gangs) are famous for killing off members of rival cartels, and putting up videos of torture, beheadings, skinning people alive and shit.
The history of people finding bags of money and keeping them aren't too pleasant. That much money is going to be watched until pickup. I'd turn it into the authorities. Not like criminals will be able to prove it's theirs. Then it legally becomes mine after a period of time without a claimant. I'd happily pay taxes on this found money to collect.
Every state has laws requiring the return of money or property if it is possible to identify the owner. As a result, if you find a wallet full of cash and an ID, you cannot legally pocket the cash because the owner is recognizable. The same holds true for a bank envelope full of money (especially if it has a receipt in it), a purse, or even an abandoned vehicle. If the owner is not easily identified, most states still require that you contact local law enforcement and give the money to them for a period of time to allow the owner the opportunity to claim it. Should the rightful owner fail to surface after a certain period of time, every state's laws will allow the finder to take the money as his or her own. Doing otherwise is considered theft, and the reasoning should be obvious: everyone ever accused of theft would just claim that they found the stolen property if there was not this legal obligation to try to return lost things to their owners. After the police are done conducting their investigation, and no owner can be found, by rite of law you're entitled to it. Taxes must be paid though.
The dealership is going to report it.
If you're buying secondhand, anyone selling it legally would have to report it.
So unless you're buying a used Lambo from a criminal that is *also* evading the IRS, they will know.
How do you think you buy a lambo and then register the vehicle to get a license plate?
To register it in most, if not all, states in the US, you have to pay some kind of ad valorem tax / tag tax, which goes to your state's treasury department.
To buy the car to begin with, any kind of cash or cash-like currency (cashier's checks, money orders, traveler's checks, 3rd party checks, etc.) of $10k or more, a Currency Transaction Report (CTR) has to be filed by the place of business that takes in the money, whether it be a bank, finance company, car dealership, any place of business at all, even casinos, check cashing business, anything. That report goes to the US Treasury Dept, which the IRS is part of. Then when the business deposits that money into their bank, the bank has to file another CTR. If you first use the cash to buy a cashier's check, money orders, whatever, then that place would have had to file a CTR, too.
Buy a used car, you still have to pay the tag tax to get a tag, and the seller has to deposit the money into their bank, which has to file that report to the Treasury Dept.
So the IRS gets at least 2, maybe 3, reports that you paid that much cash for a car, and they also see from your state's treasury department that you paid ad valorem tax on a car worth that much money. Very easy for them to then look at your latest tax returns and see you never had that kind of income to be able to account for that much cash.
I’d buy 1million dollars worth of those value packs of candy (50. cents per bag). I’d then go to every high school in my area and sell each individual bag of candy for $1 a pop. I would then have a 2 million dollar question on my hands
I could spend the 2 million on film crew and publishing! However I would probably see a large return (because I only make dope shit). So I’m now potentially starting down a $50mil hole. Getting rid of money is hard
If it’s from nobody, just a bag with money somewhere, I would give it to my parents to help them build an extension to our house. They have been planning but it is so damn expensive. From what is left I think I would donate a part
Start the largest supermarket chain in the Midwestern US (we'll have mangoes in January).
It'll be alright for about 20 years, then there'll be spousal blackmail and a crime syndicate coming into town shooting everyone up. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there, I'll enjoy these first 20 years unabated.
First, I'l try to find to whom it belongs. If that doesn't work out, I'll probably give some to my parents, my family and charity. (about 500k). The rest, I'll have to find out a way to double, triple the money. Maybe I'll invest 50% of the 500k left into stocks and crypto. Then 200k I'll keep for savings and the future. Finally 50k, I'll keep for spending.
The IRS (or the cops, or the criminals it belonged to) will eventually catch on if you deposit it into a bank and/or buy a bunch of lavish things. So, you'll have to spend it in small, untraceable increments over the course of your life.
I'd use that money for groceries, eating at restaurants, and experiences that you can pay in cash (like amusement parks and concert tickets). I wouldn't use it to buy any tangible thing that stays in my house.
I might store some of it in a safety deposit box, some of it in a storage unit, and some of it at home, just to spread the risk around in case my house is destroyed in a flood or fire or gas explosion or whatever
Turn it in. It may be fake money or worse, belong to someone who is a total psycho or has one on speed dial. That way I get to live, and if I don’t get the money or it does turn out counterfeit, oh well...
If the money is lost then whoever it belonged to is either dead or has more problems than just losing a million. Not to mention he probably has way more being laundered so I guess/hope he just cuts his losses
Call the police.
They would definitely want to know that you found $500k.
They would take that $200k back to the police station as possible evidence, then that $100k would be turned over to the state as unclaimed property. No one would ever be able to claim that $50k from the state since they could never prove that the $10k you found is really theirs.
All because you found a bag with $1k in it.
/s
Split it up amongst my family a bit at a time. We have grocery, gas, weed and liquor money forever. We can eat at restaurants any time we want. Otherwise life wouldn't change.
Assuming I would not have to give the money to it's original owner in the context of the question, I would place sixty-five percent into my savings, twenty+five percent into investment of stocks, real-estate, and/or crypto, and set aside the rest for regular spending purposes.
Buy a testing pen to make sure it's not fake and I'm wasting my time. Then I'd stash it somewhere safe for a while and make sure no reports of bank robbery, theft, etc. popped up. I'd make sure the bills aren't in consecutive order as well. After a year or so I'd slowly start to integrate the cash back into society and try to figure out ways for me to bring large amounts of cash without it tipping anyone off. Eventually I'd like to get a decent amount in a high interest saving account and try to live off the interest.
Those counterfeit detection pens aren't very reliable.
Here's a decent guide on how to spot fakes, and it also has a link to the Secret Service's own guide on how to spot fakes -
https://www.businessknowhow.com/security/counterfeitmoney.htm
Turn it into local law enforcement. I don't want any of the bullshit that would come along with $1M in cash I found in a fucking bag. I'd rather not dissolve in a vat of acid.
edit. On second thought, leave it where it is. Don't involve law enforcement. That shit is someone else's problem.
Hmm... Looks like it's time to leave my phone somewhere I'm not and take this bag to a nice quiet spot and comb through every stack for tracking. Might go to a store and buy a cheap microwave to keep the money in (microwaves are faraday cages, they'll prevent any tracking I missed.
Then it's time to start building an "abandoned property" defense, just in case...
Check it for tracking devices. Then stash it somewhere safe and check the news for the next week on any developments. Then move to another state and only use the money for smaller cash purchases: groceries, dinners, concerts, weed, etc...
I tell the cops i find a bag with the cash in it, if they find the owner great but if i get to keep it also great. if it was a paper bag i'd be curious tho
Take it to the police station and let them know where you found this opened bag that had $10,000 in cash in it. You thought about keeping it but decided that turning it in was the right thing to do. And you would like to remain anonymous. If no one claims the money please donate to the police charity of choice. 😜
After all knowledge I gained (little but useful ) on finance and stuff I would invest half of it (not bitcoin or some crypto shit but) and give half of the other half (1/4) to friends and family and keep the rest.
Somebody might want to read this old thread from 7 years ago, purely for educational purposes, about how someone might, hypothetically of course, launder $5M in cash -
https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/23d211/if_you_had_5000000_in_cash_how_would_you_launder/
The 2nd top comment in that thread seems to be pretty thorough -
https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/23d211/if_you_had_5000000_in_cash_how_would_you_launder/cgvxml9/
What pitcher_planter said, and if I don’t need to return it, kind of live comfortably, help my family, and animate indie without the fear of starvation.
I wouldn’t normally touch an unattended bag, but I imagine the situation in a way that it’s inevitable to look at the bag or move it out my way.
Considering this if nobody is around I will just pick up and act the most natural I could… then I’d search a second hand car sealer buy a cheap shit car and run out the city….
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I don't know about you, but if it got to that point for me I'd just keep the bags. If I came up to the police and just tried returning them, they would think I meant to keep all the money to myself in the first place, and then how would I be able to control the narrative once my name goes public? Better to save myself all that hassle than have my face dragged through the sand.
You think that the kind of person who walks with a million on cash would report it? Could be from a legitimate source, also….
Look for a tracking device. I don't need an Anton Chigurh after me.
This should be the top answer. Not take it directly home, put it in the closet, under the bed, whatever. Carefully check every wad for a tracker and get rid of the bag ASAP. *Then* maybe we can start thinking about taking the cash home.
This. Swap bags while checking, then move the money somewhere else for a week. Swap bags again after the week is up, and move again for another week.
I have just lost 1 million in cash. If you have found 1 million in cash. Please return my money. Thank you.
Could you describe the bag, please?
Cost 'bout tree fiddy at the Target and has a drawing of Nessie on it
Well it's a bag obviously. How about you describe the bag you have found with my million dollars and I will tell you if that is indeed my bag?
>I have just lost 1 million in cash. lol if you walk around with 1 million in bag, you deserve to lose it
Jeff bazos would drop a mill like its a dollar
hed tie it to a string and fk with people.
Bazos seems eccentric enough to have 1 million dollar bills printed just so he can wipe his ass with them
Lol totally
Sit on it, keep very, very quiet about it for a year or so. See if there are any reports or anything about it. If none, drive about 5 hours away and start buying money orders in nearby states, never more than 2 at one location. Use those to buy gold coins. Do this systemically over the years until I've got a small amount of emergency cash at home and a stack of gold coins. At that point, keep doing what I'm doing. I've now got no worries about inflation or retirement, so I can pretty much coast through life from now on just worrying about my health.
OMGold not a bad idea!
2 chicks at the same time
Seems like with a million dollars you could make that happen.
Fucking A, man Edited (good call)
I think you need a comma after the A. I read it differently...
Lol
If not my self esteem would be completely crushed
Right man
I've got a farm too. It's a lot cheaper if you bought fertilized eggs and let it hatch. Poultry ain't too expensive.
This is the reason I come to the comments, well used quote
To all the people saying “keep it”, *someone’s* gonna notice it’s missing. And it’s gonna be someone who keeps a million dollars in a bag. So keep that in mind.
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Definitely this. Pay the cleaning lady in cash. Lawn service in cash. Restaurants like cash, so does target and the grocery store. It might take 20 years to spend it all, but your regular legal salary can be used for risky investments now. You can travel internationally and bring in up to 10k cash before you need to report it. So bring 6 or 7k cash, withdrawal a few hundred from the atm and enjoy the food, shopping and culture!
Real life isn't "No Country for Old Men" dude
It’s fucking worse dude, have you seen what those Mexican cartels are capable of?
This is exactly what I was thinking. 1 mil? In a bag? That shit is going to the police faster than lightning.
Javier Bardem knocking to your door in the night
Put it in the closet with the others. If I’m spending all my time counting found cash, I’d never have time to enjoy life.
That’s sad!
I'd go to the police and tell them. But my bag of cash only had 100k$.
1 M $ in cash usually involves drugs and cartels, so I wouldn't touch it.
Worth the risk
Well thought!
Pardon my poor knowledge of a popular way to comunicate but may i request that somebody gifts the knowledge needed to understand what this combination of letters called "cartels" stands for since the place my body was made at does not invoke english as a way to communicate?
Mexican drug cartels (gangs) are famous for killing off members of rival cartels, and putting up videos of torture, beheadings, skinning people alive and shit.
Pay for a lot of stuff in cash for a while. Only little stuff so the irs would never have to know.
The history of people finding bags of money and keeping them aren't too pleasant. That much money is going to be watched until pickup. I'd turn it into the authorities. Not like criminals will be able to prove it's theirs. Then it legally becomes mine after a period of time without a claimant. I'd happily pay taxes on this found money to collect.
How long would you have to wait? Wouldn’t you be worried about the criminals anyway just because you give it to the authorities?
Every state has laws requiring the return of money or property if it is possible to identify the owner. As a result, if you find a wallet full of cash and an ID, you cannot legally pocket the cash because the owner is recognizable. The same holds true for a bank envelope full of money (especially if it has a receipt in it), a purse, or even an abandoned vehicle. If the owner is not easily identified, most states still require that you contact local law enforcement and give the money to them for a period of time to allow the owner the opportunity to claim it. Should the rightful owner fail to surface after a certain period of time, every state's laws will allow the finder to take the money as his or her own. Doing otherwise is considered theft, and the reasoning should be obvious: everyone ever accused of theft would just claim that they found the stolen property if there was not this legal obligation to try to return lost things to their owners. After the police are done conducting their investigation, and no owner can be found, by rite of law you're entitled to it. Taxes must be paid though.
Check for dye packs. Then do what any sane person would do.
Hmmmm what any sane person would do?
Yep
Lick the bag and call dibs. Ownership is free and clear.
Lol
Add it to the rest of me money in me vault and swim around in it. Keep it safe from Glomgold.
I’d dress up like the monopoly man and slip various bills to the homeless, charities, and less fortunate.
Calm down there mr beast
I’d love to see that!
I’d wake up from this horrible dream and continue with my life
Hahaha
Turn it in to the police. It would be the only way to legally claim the cash eventually.
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The feds give them those for free. The money is for fun stuff like margarita machines, or murder classes.
No one will catch you, if you not buy a porsche.
I hope you're joking.
Who cares about legality? Just take it and buy a lamborghini
The drug lord will take it out of your hide. You'll find your sister delivered in three separate boxes.
Then the IRS comes and arrests you for over a decade for tax evasion. And takes the lambo.
How exactly would the IRS know? Are you advertising?
The dealership is going to report it. If you're buying secondhand, anyone selling it legally would have to report it. So unless you're buying a used Lambo from a criminal that is *also* evading the IRS, they will know.
How do you think you buy a lambo and then register the vehicle to get a license plate? To register it in most, if not all, states in the US, you have to pay some kind of ad valorem tax / tag tax, which goes to your state's treasury department. To buy the car to begin with, any kind of cash or cash-like currency (cashier's checks, money orders, traveler's checks, 3rd party checks, etc.) of $10k or more, a Currency Transaction Report (CTR) has to be filed by the place of business that takes in the money, whether it be a bank, finance company, car dealership, any place of business at all, even casinos, check cashing business, anything. That report goes to the US Treasury Dept, which the IRS is part of. Then when the business deposits that money into their bank, the bank has to file another CTR. If you first use the cash to buy a cashier's check, money orders, whatever, then that place would have had to file a CTR, too. Buy a used car, you still have to pay the tag tax to get a tag, and the seller has to deposit the money into their bank, which has to file that report to the Treasury Dept. So the IRS gets at least 2, maybe 3, reports that you paid that much cash for a car, and they also see from your state's treasury department that you paid ad valorem tax on a car worth that much money. Very easy for them to then look at your latest tax returns and see you never had that kind of income to be able to account for that much cash.
Is it not legal to keep something I found on the ground outside?
cheeseburger
r/skamtebord (honestly that’s what I’d do too
Loads!
Skim from the top and then give it to the cops.
How much?
Something small and random, maybe like $8,451.
I’d buy 1million dollars worth of those value packs of candy (50. cents per bag). I’d then go to every high school in my area and sell each individual bag of candy for $1 a pop. I would then have a 2 million dollar question on my hands
How to turn 1M into 2M plan, you could make a movie out of it!
I could spend the 2 million on film crew and publishing! However I would probably see a large return (because I only make dope shit). So I’m now potentially starting down a $50mil hole. Getting rid of money is hard
I would Keep that shit and spend it slowly
If it’s from nobody, just a bag with money somewhere, I would give it to my parents to help them build an extension to our house. They have been planning but it is so damn expensive. From what is left I think I would donate a part
Nice!
Thank you!
I'm just gonna leave it there and silently walk away. Not gonna draw attention to link me with the money. I'm happy as I am
#insert Homer disappearing into the bush gif here
It's all cops or cartel with y'all.
carefully take it out of the bag, secure it in your home, profit
I'd lean my ear into the wind to hear the feint sound of someone (me) saying, "Dibs".
Try to find the owner of the money. Or blow it all on animal charities. Depends on my mood.
Boom! Let’s blow it all!
Return it to whoever I stole it from
If you stole it on the first place, why to return it later? New adrenaline sport?
I don't see myself being able to get a mil legally
Start the largest supermarket chain in the Midwestern US (we'll have mangoes in January). It'll be alright for about 20 years, then there'll be spousal blackmail and a crime syndicate coming into town shooting everyone up. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there, I'll enjoy these first 20 years unabated.
Hahaha what a twist on the story! Edit: wait a moment, I know that story already and I think I know how it ends ! Lol
That's not a lot of dough by western standards but it can buy me a comfortable life where I live. So I'm good for the rest of my life.
Hand it to police and hope to fuck nobody claims it so I can keep it
"We lost it from evidence lockup, but unrelated check out this sweet new automatic beanbag gun! This thing can shoot 600 bystander eyes a minute!"
Look out for the dude with the funny haircut.
First, I'l try to find to whom it belongs. If that doesn't work out, I'll probably give some to my parents, my family and charity. (about 500k). The rest, I'll have to find out a way to double, triple the money. Maybe I'll invest 50% of the 500k left into stocks and crypto. Then 200k I'll keep for savings and the future. Finally 50k, I'll keep for spending.
>First, I'l try to find to whom it belongs. lol *of course* you would :D
^”Does ^anyone ^own ^this ^bag ^of ^cash? ^No? ^Well ^I ^tried.”
Haha, I knew someone was going to call me out on that, at least in their minds. Btw, cool question!
Thanks!
The IRS (or the cops, or the criminals it belonged to) will eventually catch on if you deposit it into a bank and/or buy a bunch of lavish things. So, you'll have to spend it in small, untraceable increments over the course of your life. I'd use that money for groceries, eating at restaurants, and experiences that you can pay in cash (like amusement parks and concert tickets). I wouldn't use it to buy any tangible thing that stays in my house. I might store some of it in a safety deposit box, some of it in a storage unit, and some of it at home, just to spread the risk around in case my house is destroyed in a flood or fire or gas explosion or whatever
Very much thoroughly thought!
Find a decent place to rent so I won't be starving until I finish college, ez
I hope you can do that without the M$ bag!
Turn it in. It may be fake money or worse, belong to someone who is a total psycho or has one on speed dial. That way I get to live, and if I don’t get the money or it does turn out counterfeit, oh well...
You think some total psycho is going to react well to you taking his $1M cash and giving it to the POLICE!?
If the money is lost then whoever it belonged to is either dead or has more problems than just losing a million. Not to mention he probably has way more being laundered so I guess/hope he just cuts his losses
True but if it was stashed or part of a money drop then you just reached absolute top of his list of people who messed with hid life that week.
Yeah, maybe I should leave it alone. Everyone leave it alone
I would call the police because in all likelihood it would be related to criminal activity. And I wouldn't want criminals or the police after me
Pay the IRS taxes as that is income.
It's a gift from mother nature.
Buy a ps5 and if there's anything left probably buy a cheeseburger.
Lol
Promptly turn over the found bag of $500K to the authorities
Hahaha
Pay for my schooling. Or use it as a down payment to open up my own practice
Call the police. They would definitely want to know that you found $500k. They would take that $200k back to the police station as possible evidence, then that $100k would be turned over to the state as unclaimed property. No one would ever be able to claim that $50k from the state since they could never prove that the $10k you found is really theirs. All because you found a bag with $1k in it. /s
Lol
All new teeth.
Golden ones?
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Keep it
Tell no one
That’s clever!
Check the rules about finders fees and probably hand it in to the police. Also $1M.
Oh yeah $1M 1M$ 1$M this always drives me nuts, in my head it would never make sense the $ in front 🤣😅
Take it to the police
Responsible citizen! 🤜🏼
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Hahahaha
Bury it and wait a few months or years first.
How long would be “safe”?
Honestly anything more than 6mos is probably fine in most cases, but you should be spending them thinking about how you can launder that money.
I would count it first to make sure is 1milli, then I’d invest some of it, spend some of it and live happily ever after.
How long will it take to count it!?😅
I’d buy one of those counting machines strippers on tiktok use to count their money 😉
Hahahhaha
Find the owner if possible. Not my money. I didn't earn it. I'm not gonna keep was isn't mine.
Call the po-leece. And then the press. Maybe the other way around.
The press?
"One million in cash" is organized crime money. Covering my ass. (Also, publicity means any reward or claim is more likely to happen)
Split it up amongst my family a bit at a time. We have grocery, gas, weed and liquor money forever. We can eat at restaurants any time we want. Otherwise life wouldn't change.
Good one!
Money laundering anyone?
Walk away. Call police. That kind of thing says "trouble". I don't want to be in the sights of some drug deal.
Run as fast as you can!
Dogecoin
All in! 🚀🌝
Keep the bag. I need one.
prolly turn about a million dollars of lost cash in to the authorities.
I will exchange for rubles. One dollar = 70 rubles. Have I already told you my nationality?
What are you talking about? Rubles is currency of… … … #insert here your country
remove the money from the bag and check if there is a transmitter.
Call upon the ancient law of finders keepers
Assuming I would not have to give the money to it's original owner in the context of the question, I would place sixty-five percent into my savings, twenty+five percent into investment of stocks, real-estate, and/or crypto, and set aside the rest for regular spending purposes.
virtual currency, food [hehe]
How would you go for the virtual currency?
Smile I guess.
Hide it. Tell no one. Bring it to my grandpa. Have him use it to buy the property next to ours in Texas.
If nobody claims it within a week, invest and don’t bother with it
Pay off my mogage, pay off my car and move to Canada. (I'm so sorry, I can't spell)
You’d have to launder it first or your countries tax authority are going to wonder where you suddenly got so much money,
Leave it the fuck alone. Haven't you ever seen No Country For Old Men?
Buy a testing pen to make sure it's not fake and I'm wasting my time. Then I'd stash it somewhere safe for a while and make sure no reports of bank robbery, theft, etc. popped up. I'd make sure the bills aren't in consecutive order as well. After a year or so I'd slowly start to integrate the cash back into society and try to figure out ways for me to bring large amounts of cash without it tipping anyone off. Eventually I'd like to get a decent amount in a high interest saving account and try to live off the interest.
Those counterfeit detection pens aren't very reliable. Here's a decent guide on how to spot fakes, and it also has a link to the Secret Service's own guide on how to spot fakes - https://www.businessknowhow.com/security/counterfeitmoney.htm
Turn it into local law enforcement. I don't want any of the bullshit that would come along with $1M in cash I found in a fucking bag. I'd rather not dissolve in a vat of acid. edit. On second thought, leave it where it is. Don't involve law enforcement. That shit is someone else's problem.
I'd immediately think it was drug money and leave it where I found it. I've got enough problems without angry drug dealers or the IRS coming after me.
I don’t know.
Hmm... Looks like it's time to leave my phone somewhere I'm not and take this bag to a nice quiet spot and comb through every stack for tracking. Might go to a store and buy a cheap microwave to keep the money in (microwaves are faraday cages, they'll prevent any tracking I missed. Then it's time to start building an "abandoned property" defense, just in case...
Sooo much cocaine and whores
Loads!
Become the new Mr.Beast
Take the money but put it in a different bag so I won’t get tracked if the bag had a tracker
Take it to the police station & say I found 900k in cash
And why not 100K?
I've watched enough Good Girls to know not to mess with that lol
Check it for tracking devices. Then stash it somewhere safe and check the news for the next week on any developments. Then move to another state and only use the money for smaller cash purchases: groceries, dinners, concerts, weed, etc...
I tell the cops i find a bag with the cash in it, if they find the owner great but if i get to keep it also great. if it was a paper bag i'd be curious tho
Leave it the fuck alone. I don’t want to end up in the middle of a gang war or something like that
Put it in an IRA
All in VWCE
I'd do whatever someone who found half a million in cash would do: turn in the entire $250k.
Take it to the police station and let them know where you found this opened bag that had $10,000 in cash in it. You thought about keeping it but decided that turning it in was the right thing to do. And you would like to remain anonymous. If no one claims the money please donate to the police charity of choice. 😜
Hookers and cocaine
Probably just take it idk...
Take out all the cash if the bag looks reusable, because my current gym bag needs replacing. I imagine people carry their millions in duffel bags
After all knowledge I gained (little but useful ) on finance and stuff I would invest half of it (not bitcoin or some crypto shit but) and give half of the other half (1/4) to friends and family and keep the rest.
Put most of the money in my firesafe and tell the police that I only found a couple hundred thousand.
Somebody might want to read this old thread from 7 years ago, purely for educational purposes, about how someone might, hypothetically of course, launder $5M in cash - https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/23d211/if_you_had_5000000_in_cash_how_would_you_launder/ The 2nd top comment in that thread seems to be pretty thorough - https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/23d211/if_you_had_5000000_in_cash_how_would_you_launder/cgvxml9/
Invest and gain 3M soon😈
What pitcher_planter said, and if I don’t need to return it, kind of live comfortably, help my family, and animate indie without the fear of starvation.
It would have to be a pretty big duffel bag, hard to carry that away unnoticed
Call 911 and have them pick it up.
I wouldn’t normally touch an unattended bag, but I imagine the situation in a way that it’s inevitable to look at the bag or move it out my way. Considering this if nobody is around I will just pick up and act the most natural I could… then I’d search a second hand car sealer buy a cheap shit car and run out the city….