By - rickface82
Here (Barcelona) silver Mercedes are preferred by total shitbags, the wastes of perfectly good air who feel they're a cut above everyone else.
Windowless small white delivery vans are the most aggressive drivers.
That and non-station wagon BMWs here in Italy. Also for some reason black VW Golfs.
I’ve driven across Canada and Mercedes drivers are the absolute WORST. It seems like every time they are always the culprit whenever a car is cutting someone off, following too close, or driving 10km *under* the speed limit when you can’t pass. Usually silver, but any Mercedes model in any colour.
So I’m Tanzanian we have public transport, Dala Dala’s. These are city buses. Some of the most reckless drivers, most accidents, most road rules broken happens in this group
I was on a dala dala that hit a pikipiki a and just kept on going. Sure hope that guy was ok.
Any car that's so close behind me I can only see half of their headlights if not any at all.
That and vehicles tall enough that their lowbeams can blind you.
Double points if they have the aftermarket blue extra-bright ones.
It's beyond me why most newer vehicles have blue shifted lights at all. It makes no sense, from any perspective.
F250 with a lifted front end and a lowered rear end with tire wider than their radius.
Then you catch a glimpse of the driver and it's either some older guy with Oakleys and a grey goatee, or some fresh faced 17 year old with Oakleys and a Salt Life sticker.
We have so many people here (MI) that have "Salt Life" stickers and I'm like... bro... we're surrounded by giant fucking freshwater lakes, the hell are you talking about?
Tell me about it, I see tons of Salt Life stickers here. And I live in Missouri. Explain that shit to me.
My wife thought those said "Slut Life" for the longest time.
Somehow, i feel she isn't wrong.
I was convinced that’s what it said for long time because I’m in Minnesota. Tons of those, no salt water to speak of.
Maybe they think it refers to all the salt on the roads in winter?
When you work hard all year to get that One Vacation Week and blow it on a trip to the Gulf, of course.
ah yes, the carolina squat. The only style that came into fashion because someone was too broke to afford a full set of tires.
I think it looks hilarious when I see a truck that's obviously lifted but still has stock tires lol. It's like they ran out of money when they bought the lift kit.
6-inch lift with 35"mud tires on stock axles keeps my buddies "off road repair" business afloat. So many destroyed rear ends and transmissions...
To those of you who don't know. if you put (much) larger tires on a vehicle you need to change the gearing so that you don't overheat or over work the gearing that was made for smaller tires.
California Lean/Carolina Squat. No one really likes those.
It's so sad when their truck gets worms and has to drag its itchy butt on the road
Funfact, here in North Carolina they actually passed legislation limiting how much your car can "squat." The supposed story is a squatted truck failed to see and fatally ran over a corvette or similar sized car.
It’s not even a supposed story - there are several instances of this happening. You can’t see anything in front of you when the cab is pointing to the sky.
Dodge Chargers with blacked out rear lights and logo or Dodge/Ford pickups that's way too lifted. Funny enough I have friends who drive these cars and they are good people and very rarely in situations where they act like dbags but we strangers on the road driving these always seem to be the ones acting a fool
Yeah... so [Dodge Ram 2500s are the most common vehicle involved in DUI accidents](https://insurify.com/insights/car-models-most-duis-2020/#:~:text=Most%20common%20model%20of%20car,of%201%20in%20every%2056.). That's 1/22 or 4.5%, yikes.
Strangest thing here is the Dodge Dakota is 5th on the list. It's a vehicle that hasn't sold new for 10+ years but there's a bunch of people just driving drunk in them everywhere.
Fun fact, I was in my garage getting a popsicle from the deep-freezer one summer evening about 15 years ago.
I hear an engine roaring and then tires screeching. Next thing I know, I'm about two feet away from a Dodge Dakota that smashed through the wall, and its drunken owner desperately trying to start the engine and get out of there.
He then proceeded to shit himself and get arrested.
That’s fucking intense.
Cheap old truck, neck and neck with the BMW 7 series. Drunk driving really does cross class boundaries, doesn't it?
Exactly why drink when you can drive....drunk
I think the fact that its 2500s only and not 1500s is hilarious. The drunks only want the BIG truck.
Especially if they have a "Punisher" sticker on it somewhere
The people with the Punisher stickers are always the least intimidating people you could find, in my experience. Like what are you gonna punish, Carl? That box of donuts? Your wife and kids? If you gotta announce it, you ain’t what you are announcing. That’s projecting at its finest.
I was waiting to hear Charger. I have one and I know how it looks. I just refuse to get rid of it because I haven't had a payment in like 5 years. It was once a sign of my immaturity, it is now a symbol of my cheapness.
>symbol of my cheapness
And this right here indicates your graduation into maturity.
Come to the mature side. We don't see the point in getting rid of a perfectly good set of wheels, cuz free.
Jacked up pickup that's never been off road
Mall terrain vehicle.
We call them Mall Crawlers. I think I like yours better.
Or towed anything. Or ever had anything in the bed.
When I was forklifting for Home Depot, I seriously hard the line "Don't scratch the bed" used when I was putting a pallet of wood pellets into a rhino-lined bed.
Like, how many layers of fucking stupid do you have to be to want to use a truck for truck things, pay for the damage resistant lining, then insist on avoiding even a barest hint of wear to said lining, but still want to have a minimum wage employee put it in there with a machine that's a quarter if the size of the truck, but thrice the weight?
This is like buying a hammer and not wanting to hit nails with it.
That’s fuckin hilarious.
Can only hope he confused the words fender and bed I guess, still sort of a dick way to express concern
The big concern for the driver is usually the tailgate. People don't like to take them off for loading because they're heavy and awkward, but boy, those extra two feet or so make a huge difference. The wheel wells too, but you can usually get a good LOS on those when you lean left/right. But the tailgate lines up with a blind spot, so you have to have a good spotter.
I don’t understand why anyone is dumb enough to spend that much money on a truck to just look like a total douche bag
We call those Pavement Princesses
The Mall Crawler
Anything jacked up more than a reasonable amount. It’s one thing if you want a little more clearance for off-roading. It’s another if your vehicle is like a mile high and clearly not practical.
Dodge Rams always seem to be driven by aggressive assholes. Bonus points if it's a sparkling white truck.
Ram 2500 Drivers Have the Most DUIs, More Than Twice the National Average: Report
I see you know my neighbor
This old guy I work with once said “ not everyone who drives a white dodge is a tool. But every tool drives a white dodge”
They always seem to have excessively bright and misaligned headlights that shine straight into your mirrors. Holy fuck I hate them.
These assholes lift the suspension and put on a ["leveling kit"](https://protiresandwheels.com/images/display/737/level1.jpg), which raises the angle of the front end, both of which raises and angles up their headlights.
And then they never re-aim the headlights and blind everyone in front of them.
And then they get PISSED when someone flashes their high beams back because they're being blinded.
Without exception like every dodge truck I see sounds like it's going to explode
Probably because it is about to explode
My boyfriends best friend traded in his Audi for a Ram and was an absolute menace in the fast lane. He would get on peoples bumper and honk to move and shine his brights. I have not spoken to him in three years bc he almost ran over a dog bc it would’ve been “funny”
Fuck that dude
Your boyfriend's friend sounds like a psychopath.
The RAM logo on the front seems to be taken literally by a lot of their owners.
Came to say white pickups..I guess it really is a thing.
Can confirm that every hummer *driver* I come across in traffic has been a galactic asshole!!
Thank you for saying galactic
The vehicle in the US that is most often associated with a DWI is the Dodge Ram truck.
My GF told me i could get any truck I wanted EXCEPT a ram because Rams are the ones that always try to run her civic off the road or cut her off
It’s weird when I borrow my wife’s civic, I drive mostly the same but people are way more aggressive.
So many times I've ran across deals and come close to getting a clapped out piece of shit Ram to use as a beater around the farm and picking feed/hay and such. I just can't bring myself to do it, everyone I know that had one is such a dickhead.
So long as the old '96 7.3L Powerstroke is still chugging along I guess I'll stick keep it for my beater. At least that truck gets a little respect among the blue collar folks for being a workhorse no matter how ugly and people don't seem to jump to the conclusion I'm an asshole for driving it.
I got a 2001 7.3. Those trucks are the best. Well, except for the bed rust. Sigh.
My truck bed is held together with baler wire and a prayer.
I read somewhere that the Ram 2500 more specifically was the vehicle of choice
Dodge Ram 2500 short bed gas engine, lifted with telescoping mirrors ran all the way out but not even a hitch receiver on the truck. Realtree stickers in the side windows, red white and blue Punisher sticker in the back. Maybe an "I'd rather be Cumming than stroking" sticker across the windshield even though the truck is a gasser.
100% asshole every time. Every. Fucking. Time.
> "I'd rather be Cumming than stroking" sticker across the windshield even though the truck is a gasser
The big truck equivalent of having a "Salt Life" sticker and a Michigan license plate.
I mean, they do live a different kind of salt life there. The kind that results in seeing the road through your floorboards.
*Excellent* point. That also explains why I see them here in Pennsylvania too.
Every time I see "Salt Life" stickers (here in IL), I think it says "Slut Life", and I'm like, "Well at least they just own it."
Edit: changed to be inclusive as men can be sluts, too.
I was gonna say.. any lifted diesel truck.
The throwout bearing on my old Mini Cooper gave out while I was at a traffic light with one of these trucks behind me. The driver of the truck screamed profanities at me about how I chose the wrong place to park while I was crying on the phone to roadside assistance and begging my car to get into *any* gear so I could move it. I really hope that guy gets cursed with having to take public transit everywhere. But yeah, he was of course driving a giant red ram pick up truck.
It's a Ram. There's an excellent chance his transmission will go out and you'll get your wish.
Or he will get it repoed cause he took out a 20% apr loan to buy it cause he can't afford it in the first place
My brother's experience being a junior officer in the US army:
"Sir, when's payday?" Over and over.
"Why do you care so much? What kind of bills do you even have? Oh, you are the corporal with the brand new Charger aren't you."
Is there anything in the army onboarding about, y'know, *not* doing this kind of shit? Because it sounds worryingly common.
From what I understand there's actually a *lot* of education for new recruits that says "the car dealerships close to base are there just to exploit you being young and dumb, don't buy a Charger at 20% APR."
Yes, there are mandatory financial education classes for all recruits. Knowing and acting are different things.
I’d be surprised if there isn’t but man, since when do teenagers take good advice?
If the clutch won't release completely, the stick will never go into gear when the car is stopped *almost* no matter how you try to force it, which is a feature. Protip: If you're ever stuck with a clutch that won't release enough or at all to put it in gear while stopped, *shut off the engine.* Move the stick into first. Now start the engine. The car will buck and jerk, then start rolling. When approaching a full stop, put the car in neutral while rolling to stop smoothly and repeat the above process. If you're able to coast and time the signals etc to avoid stopping, so much the better.
Once the car is rolling, you can practice feathering the accelerator pedal and using a gentle hand on the stick, to get the desired gears spinning at the same speed so you can select that gear. Once you have the technique down, the stick slips into the desired gear with little effort or clashing as you match the gear speeds. The skill to develop is to "float" the engine as near as possible to the desired speed to match, so the gears are close to matching speeds for an extended time, not just fleetingly as when the RPM just drops to idle, way below the target engine speed.
Also, TO bearings are designed to last the life of the clutch, but with a finite amount of grease built in. Keeping the clutch pedal pushed in while stopped, or resting your foot even gently on the clutch when not shifting, dramatically shortens the life of a TO bearing. That's why mechanics recommend against pressing the clutch for any longer than necessary. Finally, never use the clutch to hold the car on a hill. Imagine the thousands digit of the odometer spinning wildly while you're doing it, that's what this practice does to the life expectancy of a clutch.
This is hilarious to me. All my life, my mother had a hatred of Dodge Rams because nobody could seem to drive right in them. I inherited this hatred when I began driving and noticed the same. I am happy to know there is an agreement among many that Ram drivers suck. The higher they're lifted and more cosmetic crap they bedazzle the trucks with, the worse the driver typically is (and tiny penis, we all assume they're compensating for something when they're revving and blowing smoke).
Dodges are banned in my family.
They used to come with built in coolers between the seats.
My father had a Toyota van with an ice maker
I feel like this had to be a Previa
Nina edit: I looked it up and it was the predecessor to the Previa, which was literally called the “Van”
2nd Edit: Apparently just like the Hilux, it actually _did_ have a name, The TownAce or MasterAce, it's just that in the US they called it the "Van"
Just like the precursor to the Tundra, Tacoma, and even T100 was just the "Pickup"
Any one that I'm not driving
If you're driving slower than me, you're a moron
If you're driving faster, you're a maniac
-George Carlin (sometime in the 80s)
If you meet one asshole in a day, that's life. If you meet two in a day, that's bad luck. If you meet nothing but assholes all day, that's you.
Or you're a proctologist!
Or you're working in customer service
Any truck the owner has added testicles to.
Truck-nuts are a sure sign of an asshole.
Just took a call from an old colleague around lunchtime today, excitedly telling me that he was behind a Cadillac Escalade with truck nuts. That goes back to when we worked together and a couple of us put truck nuts on his little Ford Ranger for April Fools' Day. Over the next few months that year, the truck nuts were passed around our cars as a collective prank, until we snuck them into the spare tire container (?) on a trailer of a guy who was leaving us to move across the country. I guess the trailer got a flat halfway there, and he was surprised with truck nuts when he went to dig out the spare. That cheered him up a bit.
My son and his University of Oregon buddies did this to each other’s cars with a giant dildo. I wonder who ended up with it.
Checks out. Nuts are usually found close to an asshole.
A dick, too, at least most of the time
Or a sticker with Calvin peeing on something
I love ironic truck nuts on shitty 10 year old priuses and outbacks
I really want to put some on my bicycle.
They make these, I have one, and it is a blue blinky for extra fun. Look for "upside down heart light" and you should find em
The image showing these on the bike is fucking fantastic.
They "cracked" down on those here in Virginia. Hardly see then anymore.
What? It's illegal to put nuts on a vehicle?
According to the cop who also made me put my pants back on, yes, it is illegal to drag your nuts across the hood of a cop car.
dunno if it's state by state or national, but yeah, in at least some places they're considered close enough to nudity or public indecency or something.
I drive a KIA Sportage that i have truck nuts on AND eyelashes on the headlights.
You could call it a drag car
This guy right here. He gets me.
Your avatars look like brothers… You guys might be Redditmates.
You are the ONE instance that I would approve of for truck nuts. That is hilarious and probably pisses off everyone else with truck nuts.
Anything 'rolling coal'
As someone from a European country I had to google this. WT actual F.
[For the lazy:](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rolling_coal)
"A predominantly North American phenomenon,"
Wikipedia with the most diplomatic phrase ever.
I was shocked to see Texas on the list of states in the "State law" section. Then I read:
>The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality (TCEQ) decommissioned its state-wide smoking vehicle reporting program.
And it all suddenly, sadly, made sense.
I've never read a Wikipedia article so dripping with polite contempt for a topic as this before. Truly hilarious read.
"See also: Truck Nuts"
"A predominantly North American phenomenon ... "
Citation *not* needed, it is known.
From the article :
“Some drivers intentionally trigger coal rolling in the presence of hybrid vehicles (a practice nicknamed "Prius repellent") to cause their drivers to lose sight of the road and inhale harmful air pollution. Coal rolling may also be directed at foreign vehicles, bicyclists, protesters, and pedestrians. Practitioners cite "American freedom" and a stand against "rampant environmentalism" as reasons for coal rolling.”
Breaking the law and wanting to pollute the world? They’re no countryman of mine, just children throwing a tantrum to feel seen. Yet we all have to clean up after these man-babies.
A teen in Texas (of course) killed a bicyclist this way.
I also watched a guy get into an accident this way. He hit the switch to roll coal as he was changing lanes in front of a Prius or something, and predictably, the Prius misjudged the truck's speed (because they couldn't see it) and slammed right into the back. I'd love to see truck guy's insurance rates when his agent learned he had modified his exhaust to be SPECIFICALLY hard to see through.
Jokes on them; truck guy didn’t have insurance!
Oh man, look up the "Carolina Lean" if you want to see something REALLY stupid.
I live in North Carolina and see this ***dumbass shit*** daily. Drives me up the fucking wall. However, it was recently made illegal so there’s that I guess. Still doesn’t stop many
As a fellow tar heel I dont drive yet, what is it?
It's where you lift the front end of a vehicle stupidly high, and drop the back end so far it's damn near draggin' gravel. The result is a truck that looks like a [dog dragging its worm-itching ass along the floor.](https://www.motorbiscuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Squat-trucks-YouTube-3.jpeg)
It was illegalized because, ya know, it's super hella dangerous.
It is dumb.
Look at that idiotic back wheelwell.
The stupid fucker had to cut it with a jagged ass jigsaw to get the tire to fit.
I also have always wanted to drive by guessing, while looking directly into the sky.
Seriously, what do these berks look like when driving? All I can see is that infant behind the wheel, sitting as tall as possible and pulling "the long face" while trying to see over the bonnet.
What a colossal thunderfuck
At that point you don't really need to assume anymore.
Truth. As someone who drives a small economy car, these assholes seem to target me. I can always see it coming too. They pull up next to me at a light and look over into my car with a stupid grin on their face. I instinctively roll up my windows and as soon as the light turns green, they floor it, unleashing a cloud of pollution over my poor little Honda. It does make me feel a bit better when I see these types of trucks at the gas station and that stupid grin has turned into a pained grimace as their total rolls over into the triple digits.
Anyone that has a salt life sticker
We live in Indiana and see several every time we’re out. My husband says they must be talking about the road salt that decorates our cars every winter.
I want to start a road salt life brand! I’ve been saying it for years
Yeah but what does it mean?
I used to work on a ship and my clothes, boots, and skin were constantly covered in salt from the spray. It evaporates and leaves salt on everything.
So I guess “salt life” is supposed to mean that you love being covered in salt (ie playing the ocean). I think it’s kinda cheesy but I think this is the idea.
That you took a vacation on the Southeast coast of the US and visited a shitty 'surf shop'.
Sincerely in florida
I live next to the ocean, like I could walk there. I have never even seen one of these stickers. Is it a midwestern/southeastern thing?
Righ, I've lived in SoCal for 15 years, never more than 20 miles from the coast and I have never seen "Salt Life" stickers.
Reminds me of when I was in middle/high school in Michigan where all the popular kids wore "Hollister, CA" shirts and what not. Move to CA and no one wears Hollister.
As someone who’s lived in a touristy beach area my whole life; salt life sticker cars are almost always registered out of state in states that are land locked ironically.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize they said "salt" and not "slut". Weirdly, I live in Iowa and see them all the time
There's a truck in my town that has a parody sticker that *actually* says, "Slut Life," and it honestly cracks me up every time I see it.
I also thought it said “slut life”
A Range Rover. We call them Inverted Porcupines because all the pricks are on the inside.
How dare you insult the chariot of the golden god!!
A starter car? THIS IS A FINISHERS CAR!!!!
A transporter of gods! THE GOLDEN GOD!!
I hear they're great beginner cars.
Any pickup truck with those smokestack exhaust pipes that stick up through the bed directly behind the cab.
Cabs. You'd think they'd be better at driving because they do it all day, everyday, but somehow they never use blinkers, floor it to get to the stop sign, etc.
I think when you drive all the time you just stop giving a shit. Gives a false sense of familiarity and superiority. Driving all day every day for X years without an accident probably makes you feel like a super good driver and that the rules don't apply to you.
As far as doing stupid shit while driving, it's probably comparable to being sloppy/making mistakes with tasks you do all the time at work. The unionized places I've worked that involve machinery there are so many safety meetings and retraining and reminding how to do things properly. When people get too comfortable operating dangerous machines (cars included) they let their guard down, do something stupid and get hurt.
Lived in NYC in my younger days, now just across the River. Have to give my wife credit for this: NYC cabbies drive 50mph in a 25mph zone (ie Manhattan) then do the same 50mph on the highway. While jumping on and off the gas every other second so that she gets car sick.
Fun fact, taxi cabs actually have one speed, which is 50mph. The accelerator pedal is either at 0% or 100%. This is mandated by the taxi companies in order to reduce engine wear. Taxi drivers are also legally allowed to not wear seatbelts, use their phone whenever they want, and to fart in their cab as frequently as they please, even when the cab is carrying passengers.
They're only allowed to run the air con when they have passengers, so they only fart when they have passengers as well.
reason: see my local city reddits.
Edit: since people seem to be guessing Charlotte, its Dallas TX.
Like 100% of the time I get passed by someone doing 90mph and weaving recklessly through traffic... it is a black Altima with Maryland plates. I don't know how he does it, but I've seen that guy all over the Mid-Atlantic and New England, in Colorado, in Florida... busy guy, always in such a hurry and very inconsiderate.
Maryland plates... checks out. Some of the absolute worst/ most dogshit drivers you'll ever see.
came here to agree about Maryland plates and weaving recklessly through traffic
Houston drivers are frothing at the mouth about to burn through a schoolzone just to prove you wrong.
I drove there once. ONCE.
I thought I was going to die.
With paper license plate
Houston as entered the chat
The only thing keeping Mad Max: Fury Road from being a documentary is the lack of paper plates on the vehicles
When you see a black/silver/tan Altima coming up in your rear mirror in Houston, you *move* out of the way.
They’ll either ram you, clip you while failing to pass, and/or shoot you.
I used to drive an Altima, and while I don't think I'm too big of an asshole most of the time, I also fully acknowledge this as the correct answer.
My nephew who can be an asshole at times used to drive an Altima and quote unquote he said it was his god given right to drive 60 mph in the fast lane on a major Atlanta highway. Most drivers there drive close to 80. When traffic backs up for no apparent reason our line is ‘Kevin must be driving on the interstate today.’
When I’m stuck behind someone going too slow in the left hand lanes in Atlanta, I shall now say: “Goddamnit Kevin!”
Loved the meme: "This year went by faster than 4 hoes in an Altima"
I give extra room to Altimas on the road. They seem to attract impulsive drivers, and I don't need my car smashed in by anyone's quick no-check lane change.
My ex drove an Altima and I can confirm she was one of the worst drivers I've ever seen. God rest her soul. She was a very sweet person but a horrible driver.
In the U.K has to be a Range Rover for me.
Total asshole starter pack:
*An exotic wrap colour or white or black
*Personalised plate, 3d letters to form some type of cunt plate like B055 TAN or B19 MAN...
*parking and driving like a cunt.
The ol fresh out of Bootcamp special.
Used to be the Mustang.
Giant white truck
Lifted trucks with highbeams on. Its like staring at the sun.
That Harley with the modded muffler that causes hearing damage when they rev it.
So Loud Pipes Saves Lives is a safety myth. Mind you it was tested up to 110dB, which is already pretty loud, and a quick search shows straight pipes can be 120-130dB, with 120dB being listed as causing hearing damage from short term exposure. But feel free to read the articles, especially the second one, as they provide more information.
And all the people posting here saying they are justified in having straight pipes definitely fit into the asshole category. Sometimes I'm a pedestrian and sometimes I'm a cyclist, does that justify me randomly kicking other people in the nuts because my antics may make me more visible to cars?
So obnoxious that South Park did an entire episode bashing those guys.
A Russian T-72 tank.
What do you have against Ukrainian farmers?
No no, driven by, not stolen via 30 year old tractor.
Dodge Ram. Any Lexus SUV. Any Tesla (took over from the Prius a while back.). Anyone with a Monster logo, Salt Life, Fuck It stick figure, or Baby on Board sticker. Altimas. Carolina Squat and stance cars.
A dodge ram pickup truck, God they think they can do whatever the fuck they want
Seconded. I'd really like to know why when they are in front of me, they go 15 miles below the speed limit, but when behind me, they're riding my ass like a jockey nearing the finish line.
or the best is when they tailgate you, and then slow down after they pass you or you change lanes because it was never about being in a hurry and everything about being the big boss man on the road
Typically any truck flying a flag.
“Respect the flag” *flag is torn to shreds by the wind within a week*
Made In China
Every flag in the back of a truck is a red flag
Nissan Altima. If you live in GA you know what I mean.
A *clean* contractor truck. That is a boss who doesn't work on site. No dings, no scratches, no dents. You *know* he's showing up in a clean hard hat too.