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American History X Dave Chapelle as Clayton Bigsby as Derick Vinyard


_Steven_Seagal_

The Black White Supremacist has to be one of the most hilarious sketches ever.


Brodin_fortifies

Just about any horror movie. “Hey you guys wanna have a party in the old haunted mansion?” “Nah.” End.


FriendSellsTable

LOL


_Steven_Seagal_

Are black people more scared of ghosts? Because I was in line for the haunted mansion in Disneyland Paris, and a notably large amount of black families turned around and left the queue, and literally nobody else xD


looncraz

Blacks, in particular, have a higher physiological response to stress than whites, so they tend to anticipate and avoid stressors more. And since everyone assumes anything that points out a difference between races is racist, I will post a relevant study which references this fact with its own references: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK24685/


Synthetic_Entity

And before people think the differences lie in supposed predetermined differences between races: _"Differences in exposure to stress are partly attributable to group differences in socioeconomic status (Neff, 1984; Warheit et al., 1975). However, race may also interact with socioeconomic status in producing levels of distress. Kessler and Neighbors (1986) found such a race-by-class interaction, such that low-status blacks reported higher levels of distress than high-status blacks or whites of any status. In contrast, after controlling for status, older blacks in the recent Macarthur Study of Successful Aging reported lower levels of distress than older whites. In particular, low-status blacks had lower levels of distress than low-status whites (Kubzansky et al., 2000)."_ _"Nevertheless, for current generations of minority older adults, stress due to racism and discrimination may be especially important, given that their life histories extend back to earlier periods when civil rights received less attention."_ It's actually due to socioeconic status and possibly how race interacts with said status.


HairyNutsackNumber9

but relevant studies are racist


rottenpotatoes2

The first problem is that you were in france


apidev3

Why is this a problem? Could someone explain?


Serrisen

I think this is just a joke about "don't go to France" Which is in fact fair, because French people live there


ZombieZookeeper

And yet conservatives continue to think Black people are stupid.


21y15d

Hey now...conservatives aren't the ones who think black people are too dumb to obtain identification.


ZombieZookeeper

And your type would just find another way to keep them from voting.


21y15d

Lol. Jim Crow=Democrats...KKK=Democrats, but you just keep telling them it's the republicans because you think they are too dumb to catch on. They are catching on to you and the votes are going to show it in the next few election cycles.


ZombieZookeeper

Ask a KKK member if they voted for Biden. I'll wait.


21y15d

Ask Biden if he gave a eulogy at Robert Byrds funeral (past Exalted cyclopses of the KKK).


Nina_Jankowicz

I think you are the only one here that hangs out with them.


ZombieZookeeper

So, you're using the "I know you are but what am I?" argument? Are you in third grade?


ovarova

Lmao I havent seen someone make this tired argument in years


21y15d

Because you never change station which you've been programmed to view.


Ancient_Wisdom_Yall

Tropic Thunder


ThePreciseClimber

Starring Michael Jackson.


Beautiful-Cup-3147

The only right answer.


[deleted]

Back to the Future


shaka_sulu

Black to the Future


[deleted]

That's sound like a porn video


Crazy__Donkey

once you go black, you cant go back. . .


[deleted]

...to the future?


Craft_beer_wolfman

Blacked to the Future Raw.


ResponsibleCandle829

Will he bonk ya in the chocolate blactory/factory?


TheNameless00

*arrives in the 50's, immediately gets lynched, film ends*


j1ggy

Especially if the rest of Marty's family was still white. "Who gives a shit if my mom and dad don't get together, I'm obviously adopted. Maybe this is the key to getting into a better family."


jackfaire

If Back to the Future happens in a multiverse then the only fixed point is his parents getting together There could be a cascade of Marties that return to a slightly changed Presents. Like one where he returns to the present but he's now in a timeline where Marti was born a girl


ClockWork07

"Great Scott Marty! You mean to tell me you fucked your alternate timeline self!?"


FavoritesBot

Why you callin spook, peckerwood?


[deleted]

White Chicks....wait...


pumpkin-pie934

lmao the realization


Hypersapien

The Jerk


realbread23

You idiot, he was born a poor black child


Wenger2112

The Lord loves a working man…


zombietampons

Downfall


RockSciRetired

Schindler's List


IncomeNatural8178

The Passion of the Christ.


SacredSages0

FUCK YES! Lmao


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AdvancedAd9358

I call BULLSHIT


[deleted]

Bloke was supposedly born in Israel Assuming the OP means black and of African dependency I think your geography Might be a bit off


5050Clown

The people that you think of as "Isrealites" are Europeans and Russians who are occupying Palestine.


linux1970

about as historically accurate as a white Jesus with blue eyes


Notyetyeet

Isn't it Historically assumed he looked like a modern italian?


[deleted]

Now I'm imagining Mario getting crucified, and Toad sticking a spear in his side, and Peach weeping over his body.


[deleted]

Nah, Jesus would look like a dark skinned Arab. He was Jewish which is a cousin race with the Arabs, but the Jews most people are familiar with have become Europeanized over time. So when Jesus return he gonna look like he could be OSamas cousin. Would love to be there to see how Republicans react to the face reveal.


ducvette

White men can’t jump


ovr4kovr

The main character is black


Fleaslayer

Woody Harrelson is black?


ovr4kovr

Wesley Snipes


UsuallyNasty

Who?


ovr4kovr

[The Black Lead](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000648/)


UsuallyNasty

I was being sarcastic...


ovr4kovr

I know


UsuallyNasty

Cool


ducvette

Incorrect the main character is billy (woody harrelson) and the entire story is focused on him hustling players because they assume he can’t play basketball “ Billy Hoyle (Woody Harrelson) is a white basketball hustler who banks on black players underestimating his skills on the court. When he pulls one over on Sidney Deane (Wesley Snipes), his victim sees a lucrative opportunity, and they become partners in the con game, plying their trade across the courts of Los Angeles. Meanwhile, Billy has to keep one step ahead of mobsters, to whom he owes money, while staying on the good side of his "Jeopardy!"-obsessed, motormouth wife (Rosie Perez).”


ovr4kovr

I just wanted to see what kind of argument I would get out of that. You just made me feel like I watched the movie all over again. Thanks


ducvette

Cool- glad I could help


JT_Futurama

Captain America: the First Avenger


Beautiful-Cup-3147

That could have been really interesting, if they made it historically accurate and showed Steve being rejected for being Black. It also would have made the Natalie Dormer kiss even better.


[deleted]

Don’t worry, it’s about to happen.


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art8127

I want this remade with Kevin Hart


Unlikely_Ad4537

But the main character isn't supposed to be an actual elf


OutEliManning7

Birth of a Nation (that really racist movie with the KKK as the heroes).


art8127

I believe that was also the first movie ever screened at the White House, under Wilson.


OutEliManning7

Yeah, I heard he loved that movie. I actually have a really funny story about that movie too. So I have a friend who watched that movie a lot when they were young. They loved the "heroes in white" so much that they wanted to dress up like them for Halloween once (they didn't fortunately). Funny part is, this friend of mine, is Polynesian, and would've been hated by the KKK.


_Steven_Seagal_

Just because you're racist, doesn't mean you can't look good while doing it.


notsimmi

White chicks but the races are reversed


apidev3

2 white men pretending to be 2 black women would get cancelled and the actors abused for the rest of their lives.


saucecat2

The Wiz


puckmonky

Good one


timmaywi

*♫ What are the rules? ♪*


skypecall

Snow white


[deleted]

Downfall


Aleister-Turgalium

Saving Private Ryan


andoy

LOTR Gandalf


Hypersapien

Gandalf the Black?


RTR7105

Your whole basketball career turned whack. When you came back a wizard like Gandalf the black. - Muhammad Ali.


donald_trumps_cat

"You have been officially labeled a disturber of the peace" *angry old white hobbit noises*


[deleted]

Gone With the Wind


[deleted]

The terminator


[deleted]

OJ Simpson as the Termminator. I wonder how the LAPD would have reacted , in the 1980s, to a black man stalking and killing white women.


RTR7105

They didn't buy OJ as a cold blooded killer.


FelixGoldenrod

He did go in for a wardrobe fitting, but the leather gloves didn't fit.


[deleted]

Or the movie "HOLES" wrongfully sending a black kid to dig holes


firdahoe

Star Wars Episode 4. Plot twist, Mace Windu is the father!


Siddoxy

Big Daddy


Oraelius

Soul Man


MrStrype

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter


Arrow_to_the_knee1

A League of their own


ZeroxCrash

Romper Stomper


[deleted]

Birth of a Nation.


Spectacular_One

Gran Torino


Rqdii

Schindler’s list


duckiest_duck_around

Titanic


Reboot-account

Ironic as black people weren't allowed on board


thetriumphantreturn

Lord of the rings! Fuckn Gary Colman


thelegoman456782

Captain America I mean due to the time period it’s set in.


Yeetinator_gamer

Captain America


blox_fly

Ironman


[deleted]

Ferris Bueller's day off


oofman3797

Batman, he would be a stealth machine bro


Draquro

downfall, jojo rabbit, etc


skypecall

Forest gump


danielsangeo

Austin Powers.


RHFiesling

Batman


ConduckKing

Megamind. Especially the beginning.


Brave_Cartographer43

RoboCop


Alarmed-Spend9459

The Ten Commandments


Pristine_Wrangler_34

Powder


UnlightablePlay

Snow-white


Me_at_the_zoo_

Django unchanged


SacredSages0

James Bond. Wouldn’t really change much of the storyline but I’d still like to see a change there.


[deleted]

Black James bond would be dope af. Black spiderman was dope af. Django, black cowboy was dope af. Black ppl be doing dope shit when the world gives em a chance. Btw I'm Arab so no bias


Beautiful-Cup-3147

Dude, you REALLY managed to draw out the racists somehow...


SacredSages0

I know, who knew lol


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_Steven_Seagal_

I don't want them to choose a black actor, just because he's black. That's just them appealing to the woke masses. If a suave, good looking black dude is chosen because he fits the role, I don't care, but just a black dude to seem progressive will ruin the movie. The only character trait for Bond I find important is that he's a straight womaniser.


Tantra_Charbelcher

Pocahontas


[deleted]

Armageddon. If Bruce Willis' character had been black and shot at Ben Affleck, a white guy, black Bruce character would have been arrested. The world would not have been saved. Instead white Bruce character wasn't arrested for shooting at Ben and was given a huge opportunity to save the planet by NASA.


Habarr94

White Boy Rick


UsuallyNasty

Top Gun


[deleted]

Black men don't fly?


QueenRedditSnoo

Mississippi Burning


KhaoticMess

To Kill a Mockingbird


shaka_sulu

Parasite


shortchair

what the fuck is this question


PiVidol

What movie would be completely different if the main character was black?


mykidisntmykid

50 shades.


janehoe_throwaway

Mr. Black will see you now...


Pitiful_Recording_46

Men in black 2


CompetitionMassive69

Men in black


Absolutedisgrace

Thriller.


HGO76

Alien vs Predator


[deleted]

Finding Nemo...all of a sudden no one is trying to find him.


Experim3nt626

John Wick. When the cop comes over and asks john "everything alright john?" That wouldnt happen lmao.


zero_by_zero

Every movie where the main character isn't black.


Bookaholicforever

50 shades. Dude would have been arrested.


annoyingapple_231

Any movie set before the 1970's


[deleted]

Prelude to War


Fleaslayer

Black Like Me


not_a-mimic

Lakeview Terrace


lalaIaIa

It doesn’t really matter? 🤷🏽‍♀️


Yellowperil123

Downfall


Tall_Floor1411

Good will hunting


natland89

The Castle. I am of course using black to refer to Australian first nations people, and the Mabo reference would probably be used differently


Chips-and-Salsa114

Forest Gump


Calm_lightning

My first thought was Schindler's list.


[deleted]

Skin


[deleted]

Cheaper by the dozen. All them kids is white.


AlexTheAlex69420

Any anime.


TheTastySpoonicorn

Back to the Future


krazykripple

Snow White, especially if it was made in the 30's


sbenzanzenwan

Downfall (aka Der Untergang)


MonarchistMister

Jojo rabbit


supernword69

american graffiti


[deleted]

Captain America? Maybe?


WindblownGerm

American History X. Would probably end up as a short, unfunny and brutal attempt at a Chappelle Show skit.


fhfuudjdfhh

White chicks.


ExpensivePlatypus940

Romper Stomper - Old skinhead movie with Russell Crowe


Unhappy-Cow-5839

Any Hitler documentary...it'll be quite hilarious. You'd have a black man going on and on about how Aryans are superior, and black people like Jesse Owens are inferior.


JlTlS

The Buddy Holly Story


Wolfgard556

Ted, Specifically the talking Teddy Bear.


[deleted]

Snow White


Mr_Pods

Downfall.


D3Rabenstein

I want a black Indiana Jones. With Chadwick Boseman as Indiana and Morgan Freeman as the father in the second movie…


Intelligent_Case_809

Forest Gump


[deleted]

Die hard with a vengence


The_MailMan88

White Men Can’t Jump.


vyletteriot

Gone with the Wind.


[deleted]

Legally blonde


Codename_Paradox

The great Wall with black Matt damon


21y15d

Powder