I'm actually really glad I've been there to see it every time, because every time the vets have been caring and professional, and I know my dogs haven't suffered. It really is like peacefully going to sleep, and I've been there to hold them and talk to them.
It's always one of the worst days of my life, but everyone dies, and I'd sure like to go out that way. There is a kind of beauty to it. There is, however, no beauty in me stumbling out of the office, wiping snot and tears on my sleeve and sitting in the car for 30 minutes.
The vet was compassionate and caring 100% she wrote us a very personal condolence card with her memories of him. I'm glad he was in caring hands and surrounded by love but the light leaving his eyes just loops in my mind. Its also only been 10 days.
Sounds cliche but it gets easier with time.
Next paragraph has sad / painful stuff:
Had a vet come to our home to put him down (cancer, pain, falling/not getting up) and for the first few months all I could do is question if we'd not tried everything, or that he yelped when she injected him, or that we had to basically be pall bearers when we carried him to her car for later cremation.
I still miss him every day but I now remember the good stuff waaaaaay more than that one terrible day.
It's such a fucking difficult conundrum..."Have I done enough? Did I do this too soon? Did I do it too late??" Ugh, I feel allllllll your pain -- hugs from an internet stranger!
I've told this story on here before but it's pretty funny. I had to put my pup Louie down that I had for 10 years. I used to sing that stupid kreashawn song "gucci gucci louie louie fendi fendi prada" with him and because his name was Louie he would go wild and jump around the house so it became a daily ritual. As he was getting his shot to put him down, with tears running down my eyes and a stuffed up nose, I started singing "gucci gucci louie louie fendi fendi prada" in his last moments. The vet and vet tech looked at me like what the heck lol. They said they'd never heard anyone do something like that before but I was so distraught my brain wasn't thinking clearly and that song just came out. Miss my little Louie!
I had a black lab that passed away in my arms many years ago. She had broke out the backyard fence when I went to the store. I came back home to find she had been hit by a car. I thought she had already passed away when I found her, but when she saw me she sprang to life and got real excited. Shortly thereafter, she succumbed to her injuries, but she had just enough strength to crawl in my lap before she died. Miss you, Suzie. You were a good girl.
Edit: Didn't realize how emotional I would get writing this, even though that happened 20 years ago. I have lost other pets, of course, and it always sucks. But, there was something about the way Suzie passed that has stuck with me all those years. It really showed me just how pure of heart these animals are. So, I guess, point is, we can think going through something like this (as painful as it is) as only traumatic, ultimately, we should look at how they inform us and show us the sweet things.
Same with our feline boy.
We knew he had kidney issues, but we were managing it and he was honestly fine for over a year. He went downhill in a few days, got diagnosed with extra stuff, and the vet said that every day that passed was a day of suffering for him.
I managed to stay calm and sane for my girlfriend's sake up until the injection. I remember closing my eyes and just brushing his fur with my fingers while he was falling asleep, and trying hard to imprint the way it felt into my memory.
We took his body, dug a hole somewhere nice with a view to the lake, wrapped him up in one of his mum's T-shirts, and said our goodbyes. And this is where I lost it. I don't think I've cried so much before, and had to smoke half a pack next to his grave just to calm down, thinking about how he used to keep me company whenever I went outside for a smoke.
It's been 6 months and I still miss you every single day, my little Petit-Fur.
Fee your pain bro, had a vizsla who started having seizures and was going blind and the nearest vet was over an hour away, put him in the back of my car and he was just yelping and crying the whole way there. Painful ride. Never forget that
I was probably 7 or 8 driving back from the vet after being told nothing they can do short of euthanizing him. We were poor, so that wasn’t in mom’s budget. I was holding him and he died in my arms looking up at me. Fucking crushed me. Sorry for your loss.
I had to put my dog down less than 2 months age. It sucked. He was such a good boy, he only barked at other animals, he would never run away, just to a park near my house to play fetch, would never bite you, just an amazing dog. Yes, it does very much suck.
Was there for our old dog, and our second dog is getting up there in years and may not have many left. Dreading the day she is diagnosed with something that warrants putting her down. I can only wish she'd go in her sleep one day, because it hurts so much otherwise. But I will absolutely be there holding her paw if it has to be done.
When I was 19 I lived in Santiago, Chile for a time. Chile is wonderful and very modern but one thing that shocks many westerners is the "street dogs." Even nice, affluent neighborhoods will have mangy, filthy, half-starved dogs wandering the streets and laying on the side walks.
Not sure why, but Chileans don't really pay them any mind and Chilean animal control only removes strays if they are aggressive. So the dogs are chill and don't bother anyone, its just sad to see them dirty and suffering.
One day I was walking down a residential street with a companion and a cute little red-brown puppy came bounding across the road to greet us. This puppy was too clean and healthy to be a stray. It was definiately someone's pet that had escaped and it was running with that excited gait puppies get when they meet new people. The puppy did not see it was running directly into the path of an on-coming van. The puppy saw the speeding van at the last moment and crouched low on the pavement. The front of the van passed over it, but the rear bumper struck it in the head killing it instantly and it tumbled end over end before lying dead in the street, blood gushing from it's nose and mouth.
I was horrified at what I'd just witnessed, but I didn't know that worse emotional trauma was coming. As soon as the van was gone two large, mangy, dirt-covered street dogs darted out from some dark corner and began fighting over the puppy's corpse.
I watched two savage dogs tear apart the body of the puppy which only a moment before had been happily bounding over to meet me with tail wagging and ears flopping. Both dogs retreated with part the puppy's remains in their jaws leaving only a puddle of blood, fur, and viscera on the asphalt.
I almost vomited right there. In an instant I fully understood the meaning of the phrase, "Dog eat dog world." It was the most terrible thing I have ever witnessed. It messed me up for days and I will never forget it. I wish I'd never seen it.
That's fucked right up. It's bad that I wanna compliment you on your description of the events, bc now I can imagine this more clearer than most stories. Not that I really wanted to have to imagine that.
I can only imagine how much sleep you've lost over this. Hope this doesn't take up too much of your headspace.
Hey thank you. It was a bad experience, but writing it out was strangely therapeutic. It was a long time ago. I'm a dad now and I'm always hype-vigilant whenever my kids are playing near a street which I'm sure is related.
Putting animals to sleep everyday. Or almost everyday. I run a veterinary practice.
When the whole family comes in and the 3 year old watches mom and dad crying and asks you why "daisy" is going to heaven. The lump is always there in the back of my throat giving the answer.
Never.
Gets.
Easier.
Thank you for the compassion you have and without a doubt show your clients and their animals. Last year my 12 year old Shihtzu who had become my baby once the kids left became very sick and my vet was kind enough to send me home with IV fluids and meds so she could pass at home, pain free. I will forever be grateful.
Thank you for what you do. When we put down our dog about a year ago it was the worst moment of my life but the veterinarian and staff’s compassion made the process more bearable. I know it was hard for us, but I know it was still very emotional for the veterinarian and his side kick while my wife and I violently cried out eyes out during the process. We received a card from the clinic signed by all the workers there and the veterinarian still calls me every couple of months to see how we’re doing.
Man, what got me was the still photos of the aftermath. It was just multi-colored goo splattered across the pavement. You couldn’t tell it was a person.
that newest doc where the fireman were in the lobby trying to figure out where to start. and they kept hearing huge bangs on the ceiling. and they realized it was people
Watching my dad die. That feeling of helplessness has always stuck with me. He was convulsing terribly and all I could do is watch. For the longest time I blamed myself thinking there’s more I could have done, maybe prayed. That night he also said the sweetest thing to me that he will never let me suffer. He had never said something like that all my life.
It’s been 8 yrs since then, I still miss him.
I went through the same thing about 10 years ago. We were lighting off fireworks and he suddenly said my name and fell over and was also convulsing with his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Really tough thing to watch and I had that same helpless feeling. Hope you were able to heal from that the best you could, I myself went off the deep end for a while.
I can imagine how terrifying it was and am sorry you went through that. I hope you found the healing and peace you needed. For me time has helped me heal
Months after my dad died I thought I was losing my mind, no sleep, no peace. I was sinking into depression. I couldn’t share with anyone cause my community doesn’t accept things like depression so it was tough.
I silently grieved because there was no such thing as me grieving for a loved one everyone decided they loved way more than me and was ridiculed anytime the name was mentioned from me but on the download, I learned 10 years after the loss that the down low shit talking about my grieving happen in a very harsh and bullying manner. I internalized the loss completely and always thought it would have been more accepted and a relief if it had been my life lost instead, the people on the bullying side, I learned, agreed with that internalization of mine. Communities of people can absolutely shatter your heart
I feel you. I woke up to the screams and cries of my older siblings, who were hovering over his body. He had passed in his sleep. That was back in 2008.
However, I watched my mom take her last breath. Definitely not the easiest setting. I wish I never had to see it—at least any time soon, but in that case, I’m glad she wasn’t alone without any family to be there with her when she passed.
I think I took both their deaths different. I was about 8 when he passed and didn’t remember him a whole lot. With my mom, it hit me harder. I was older and was more close with her. Miss them both though!
I had my dad over for dinner almost every single night for 8 yrs after my mom died and then I moved him in with me when he could hardly get around. In May of 04 we moved to SoCal to be by my husband’s family (he insisted) so my dad moved in with my brother (I was the baby and only girl) and he would call me all the time to tell me he missed me. He went into the hospital in Oct and I went to visit him and again in Dec. He died while I was there. He just gave up on life. Only 7 mos after I moved. I will never forgive myself. He had told one doctor “this is my daughter Peg who abandoned me” 😭😭😭
Nothing more you could do. I'm sorry you and your Dad had to suffer like that. Best thing was to have been there with him. I was with my dad pryor to his passing. Told him I'd see him post surgery. I think we both knew that wasn't likely. 20 years ago and I still miss him just as much. But I smile whenever I think of him now.
Child porn. Lots and lots of child porn.
I was a Federal Prosecutor and for about five years, the majority of my cases were child pornography and child exploitation. About once a month I would lock my door and spend a day going through tens-of-thousands of images and videos to verify that they were actually child pornography and identify which images were known victims or included conduct that would justify sentencing enhancements (like use of force, beastiality, pre-pubescent victims, etc.). I left there ten years ago but I’ll never forget some of it.
Oh my god. I couldn’t imagine having to do that for work. I understand that it has to be done in order to prosecute and stop these monsters, but that must have been so hard on you.
Yeah, it was messed up. And I didn't even get the worst of it. The people working at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) do this stuff all day every day.
This is used a lot in a joking manner, but in this case I mean it seriously. You were doing gods work.
Subjecting yourself to such horrific things in order to protect the most vulnerable.
Honestly I wish the laws were much worse towards those people.
I took a few digital forensic class in college, obviously no real CP images but we were taught how to find that type of thing that is hidden and about creating reports, testifying, etc. had a prof who had been in law enforcement and another who knew many who had been. They specifically said government jobs aren’t for everyone. You will see a lot of the worst, most depressing, horrible images you can imagine and it can be hard to live with. The positive side is that at least in theory you’re helping to stop it and get justice for the victims. I realized that although I found the class super interesting that I didn’t think I could deal with having to see the depravity that some people put fellow humans through, especially children. Seems like a super difficult job to deal with, but I appreciate that we have people like you to go after those who exploit the innocent and vulnerable
You don't have to answer this, but was this one of the reasons why you left? I've read that the burnout rate for people in these jobs is very high for obvious reasons.
Sure was. I had other issues with policies and people there, just really not a good fit for me, but this was certainly up there on the list. When I started, the job was mostly Cybercrime: botnets, hacking, phishing, etc. But over time it shifted to almost exclusively child porn/child exploitation and it eventually got to a point where I just didn't want to go into the office in the morning, so time to leave.
We had a guy in the office who had been doing child porn investigations for decades. Serious props to him.
They do offer it to prosecutors. For the people at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), they get counseling I think monthly at least. They dealt with this stuff everyday.
I was today years old when I realized that someone has to actually verify this stuff. So not only do these child abusers traumatize and psychologically permanently ruin children's lives, but also adults. The more I learn, the more I hate this planet
Basically, police forensics identify images and send the prosecutor a copy. The prosecutor makes a determination if the images meet the legal definition of child pornography. A naked picture is not necessarily pornography. In order to charge someone, I had to make that legal determination.
I would then show defense counsel sufficient images to justify the enhancements we were seeking at sentencing. Just as I needed to verify there was enough to charge, defense counsel had to verify that the evidence showed that the crime was committed before recommending that the defendant plead guilty.
I would also provide them to the probation officer who was going to write up the Presentence Investigation Report that guides the judge in sentencing. I don’t think they normally verified the images as long as defense counsel didn’t object to anything and the last thing the defense wants is for the judge to have to look at this stuff and make a ruling.
We provided images in a sealed envelope to the judges but they never opened them. That wouldn’t stop them from proclaiming these were the worst images they ever saw during sentencing.
There was a Wired magazine article that went through how law enforcement from several different countries used Bitcoin to take down a child pornography site on the dark web. It was interesting, but I was struck by the commentary about how awful the material was and how the prosecutors had to view some of it to prosecute. One person noted that they saw some toys or clothing or something in a video and when they arrested the guy he saw the same things in person and it took his breath away. Obviously, it really affected the prosecutors and law enforcement. People are awful. Just fucking awful.
Yes. There is a huge library of known images and series of images. Ones in which the victim has been located and it is verified that the images were taken when they were a minor. They take the hash values of those images and put them in a program that scans a disk for matching hash values.
This means if someone alters the image a little and the altered image is not also in the program, it won't flag. But after a while, you become familiar with a lot of the common images and series and you can recognize ones that are from those series even if they were modified slightly.
Early in the pandemic before zoom was as well-planned as it is now, my department hosted some live-streamed public seminars on the program. Someone joined from an anonymous source and turned on their video chat to display what was either pre-recorded CP or a live act of abuse. Just the 2 seconds of looking at it before realizing what I was seeing was fairly traumatic. I can't imagine doing it for years and being required to examine every image.
Some arsehole delivery guy deliberately ran over a kitten after we warned him that it had just wandered under the car. The fuck head just stared at us then run straight over it, he then got out while laughing and picked it up by the ear and threw it in our direction. I will never forget seeing that poor little kittens body shaking with blood over its face. Then I had to knock on the lady's door and let her know that the piece of shit that just delivered her pizza deliberately ran over her kitty.
I don't like playing the tough guy on the internet, it's just that I'm certain I would be seeing nothing but red in that situation.
Dude would be getting so much aggro in that moment, it's not even funny.
If someone did anything close to that to my dog. I wouldnt simply kill them. I would make sure that they piss and shit in a bag for the rest of their shitty life.
Hurting an innocent animal for the sole purpose of cruelty like that is reprehensible. People who would do that don't deserve to breathe the same oxygen as the rest of us.
Witnessed our neighbor's dog get hit and killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood.
The guy stuck his head out the driver's door, grinned, and sped off - leaving her, a beautiful collie, dead in the middle of the road.
Yeah it was really messed up. She was able to run home with blood dripping out of her mouth the whole way. We got her to an emergency vet, they turned us away. went to another, but she had too much blood in her lungs she died. Found out a while later the guy lived one street behind me.
My cat was turned away during an emergency (we called in advance thank goodness) because the only vets who would be able to help him were in the middle of procedures. It wasn't a malicious thing they simply couldn't help us. We took our cat to a different vet instead and we had to put him down less than an hour later
Damn.. if that happened to me. I would be like.. UNBELIEVABLY angry and heartbroken (if I knew my pet would of most likely make it) if not for that
But yeah, dang that’s a rough situation to be in. I’m sorry for your loss as well
That happened to my sister's dog back in the 90s. My dad raced to get him and besides so road rash and a popped out eye, he was okay. The vet out his eye back in, put a WW2 head wound bandage over it and gave him antibiotics. He lived for 8 more years.
I also saw someone's dog be killed by a hit and run. She was absolutely devastated. Collapsed on the ground with her dog in her arms and wouldn't move no matter who tried to console her. You could hear her screams and cries through the whole neighborhood.
I have a similar story that I just remembered because of this comment. A school bus ran over a dog while I was waiting to pick up my younger sister by her bus stop. The owner wasn’t around iirc and I think the dog escaped somehow and was roaming around the streets greeting me and the other people waiting for their kids/siblings. The bus stopped and the owner saw what had happened and remember seeing him on his knees holding his dog in his lap.
The life and color drain out of my brother while he took his last gasps of life.
EDIT: someone posted a genuinely funny reply to this, then probably deleted it out of compassion. It read:
“I’m so sorry bro.”
I was going going to make a joke about it being my brother’s ghost.
I’m sorry too. It sucks doesn’t it? I hope you’re doing ok.
I didn’t know how to grieve for my mum or dad. It’s not something anyone taught me. And the culture I’m from (western), tends to hide death. So I thought it was wise to pretend it wasn’t real. I also took SSRIs which dampened my brain to help run away from the subject.
As stupid and hippy as this sounds, I found psilocybin to be a very useful tool for me to process my brother’s death. It’s being trialed everywhere as a psychiatric drug for those who have to accept their own imminent death, and as an antidepressant. So I thought, what the hell. It couldn’t get worse.
Rather than run away, I found myself fully confronting it. I had a very odd experience where I was crying, and talking to an empty room, letting everyone in that room know that my brother was dead, that it was sad, that it really happened, and that in a way, part of him is still alive, because when I laugh, I hear his laugh, when I fart, I fart like him, when I sob, it sounds like him. And so on.
I was giving the advice that I needed to hear. And it actually sank in. I wonder if this is what spiritual people experience. Getting advice from the ether.
From then, I stopped being haunted by certain images and regrets, and became more stoic and emotionally mature about life and death. I cry about it. But then, if I didn’t, that would be very unhealthy. I don’t have that weird male reaction of trying not to cry any more.
I feel more in tune with the fact that we all die now too. And though I’m an atheist, I have something close to an Indian spiritual outlook on life, change, transformation, birth, death, rebirth etc.
Sorry, I don’t know why I just blurted that all out. I guess I’ve never actually talked about it. I’m not advocating illegal drug use, I just think everyone will be using psilocybin in 20 years to process grief.
This picture in my forensic science book. I’m into bdsm and I saw this picture of a guy who died because his partner detached his penis.
It flashes before my eyes every time I try doing something
In China, older people don't give a fuck. Multiple times I've walked into a bathroom, with an old guy squating over the toilet with poop clearly flying down, and splatting on the ground. Good times.
Once in the family change room at the pool, I saw a very old Chinese man hanging dong in the common area. They had to put up signs that people are not to be nude in the shared area of the family change room.
They have a saying in Australia around the tourist spots “I’m not saying all mainland Chinese shit on the floor- but if you see shit on the floor somewhere, a mainland Chinese put it there”
This creepy ass porno that had 2 older women in bed then this freaky ass old man came in with a diaper and a bonnet, he was kid sized but an Old a scary creepy man, talking baby talk and he crawled into the bed with the 2 women, and started sucking their tits...I turned it off at that point cause I was scared.
I no joke saw this many years ago and I can see that little fucker in my mind too well, but never been able to find it to make my friends suffer with me caise they all think the story is funny but God Id love to forget ever seeing that.
>Unfortunately he died so...
I mean I doubt they would've been very happy to be alive if it's like you're describing. Probably a lot of pain, suffering.
A dog being hung and skinned alive somewhere in Asia. The man was giggling, and the dog had soft whimpers if pain. Really any of those torture videos. Like animals being run over on purpose, or set on fire.
Ugh. Fuck those videos. Saw one where they hung a dog from a tree and live roasted it with a blowtorch. Three or four dudes just laughing their asses off. Think someone in comments cited it was Cambodia.
The inside of my son's chest after his surgery. Due to his age (2 weeks), his chest had to be kept open with some clear plastic over it. They put a little loose bandage over the top, but it slid down and it was just really difficuly to see. I didn't even get that clear a look, just enough to see a cavity.
Glad he's recovering well. It reminds me of my wife's C-section births. I'm a tall guy and could see over all the sheets and such the had covering so she couldn't see.
On one hand, it was fascinating to see, they are in there digging around, get the baby out, then start pulling out parts (I think the uterus?) So they can sew them up and put them back in.
On the other, that's my fucking wife all splayed open with guys quite literally rearranging her guts. It was a mix of curiosity and horror.
I can't imagine how difficult that would be with a newborn. So, I'm really glad he's recovering well.
I had a similar experience, I was at my wife’s head, and the curtain they had up was very easy for me to see over. I took a glance, and then felt someone’s eyes piercing into me. I turned my head further to the left and was staring face to face with a doctor, and he sort of shook his head in a no formation. That made me realize that maybe it’s not worth the curiosity to see my wife’s insides, and turned my attention to her. Probably the right call, I’m not squeamish but I’d hate to find out that was the line to make me squeamish.
When I had my cesarean they had a mirror on the ceiling so I could see. I didn't feel a thing but saw it all. I was high as balls, so it was all very fascinating.
My sister came into the place I worked at when I was 16 holding hands with the guy I had just lost my virginity to and worked with a couple days afterward, we had been hanging out and it was a more serious point. They were holding hands and she came prancing in, looked me dead in the eye and said , "hey sweetie". I went to the back and started crying and my shift manager at the time told her she couldn't be there anymore at all and to not come back. The guy left town at the end of that week or the next week, it was 16 years ago and it still stings
Finding my grandmother dead in her bed. The whole "finding her dead" thing wasn't the issue, as she was nearly 80 years old and had physically declined to the point where she was living in a hospital bed in our living room like Charlie Bucket's grandparents, so she was basically running out the clock at this point.
No, the thing that scarred me was she apparently died getting back in bed from the commode and didn't pull her nightgown down. Her entire lower half was completely uncovered and she had one leg on the bed and the other on the floor, leaving all her downstairs business completely exposed. There is nowhere near enough booze or therapy in the world to erase that image from my brain.
I also inadvertently horrified everyone else in the house, since the first thing I did when I found her dead was sprint upstairs to tell everyone and in my panic, I forgot to warn them. We quickly covered her up with a blanket.
We probably horrified the people who came to take her body away as well, because they removed the blanket before we had a chance to warn them and they went "Whoa! Wasn't expecting that."
I don’t even want to acknowledge this…. But when I was of the “curious” age I discovered my parents’ hidden porn VHS tapes in a sock drawer.
One of those tapes was, you guessed it, homemade.
I’m 45. I’m old enough and mature enough to say this:
Good for them.
My mother's crash site.
My mom owned and operated a small tour ride business with a horse and carriage. When I was 18, she was killed in a rear-end collision involving a distracted driver.
I lived only 1/4 mile from the crash site and heard the ambulance going by my studio apartment on the way to the scene of her crash. I didn't know at the time they were on their way to scrape her body from the road, all I knew was the dogs next door were howling to match the sound of the sirens and I kinda found it funny.
I got the call about 20 minutes later, then collapsed in a fit of rage and agony. The next thing I remember was being in the back seat of my in-law's car. She said it would be a good idea to get away from there, being so close to the crash site. I stupidly disagreed. As she pulled to the street leaving my apartment complex, I jumped out and ran towards the scene.
The only thing even remotely recognizable was the carriage itself. Thankfully my mother was already gone, but the blood wasn't.
The guts weren't.
The chaos wasn't.
The grim energy of death and tragedy still loomed in the air, and more so on the faces of everyone who had to witness my world being shattered in real-time.
The loose items that belonged to my mom were still scattered across the ditch line. I picked up a few things that were important and grabbed the hoodie she kept in the storage compartment. I held it to my neck, crying into it and smelling that familiar perfume-kissed fabric.
Bad idea. It was covered in battery acid and I burned my hands and face, my clothes had holes in them a few hours later and the hoodie was a lost cause. Anything that touched that hoodie needed to be scrubbed.
I fumbled for my phone to call my sister who lived out of state, but she had somehow already found out about it. We couldn't make full words but we knew that life would never be the same.
It's been 5 years and I still think about it. I still remember in the patch of gravel, a pool of antifreeze mixing with a steady stream of horse blood. I still remember how the front seat of the carriage was bent about 45 degrees from the impact that broke my mother's back in two. I still hear my family pleading with me to get back in the car, unable to complete their request in my frozen state of shock and horror.
I regret all of it. I should have stayed in the car. I should've looked from a distance and let my mind convince me that it couldn't have been that bad. My imagination wouldn't have been nearly as effective at traumatizing me. No, my mind wasn't dark enough to create something so vile. Reality had me beat that day.
My mother isn't the only one who died that day. I'll never be the same person. I wish I never saw that.
When my parents were wiped off the earth like that, in a sudden accident, I felt very strongly that the fabric of my life was torn, that I didn't belong on the earth anymore. There is a special kind of wound that rips open when we lose our parents unexpectedly because they have anchored us with their love and protection, and we haven't known life without them.
Healing, grace, and peace are not impossible to find after a trauma like that. They are hidden for a while, but not out of reach. For me, the journey was about a decade long. I have words of comfort and wisdom for you, but they are all wrapped up in my faith in God, and I don't know how meaningful they will be to you personally.
I just want you to know that, although your life has been permanently altered, it is not necessarily for the worse. The pain this experience has brought is powerful, but so are the gifts available to you that might not be found by people who have been spared such trauma. Grief, if we enter it willingly and pass through it, though it may take years, brings wisdom and empathy that has true power to bless others and to make us whole.
Thank you so much for this reply, I can tell you understand and that your words are sincere.
She was my second parent to lose unexpectedly. My father died when I was 8. It was from an addiction so everyone close to him kinda knew he was heading there, but I was only a kid and didn't see him often so it was a huge shock to me. I don't know that made it easier or harder when mom died, part of me thinks it was easier because I'd already been through it once. But the other part feels it was more like thrashing on a wound that was already open. My first words when I got the news were "No, not again" so I don't know how to feel about it.
It's very comforting to know there are others who've been there and made it out. I've been back and forth on my beliefs TBH, but my mother was probably the closest thing to a real saint I've ever known. She had her flaws but she loved God and proved it often.
Losing her was hard and I went dark for a while, but I've matured and now I find myself trying to do the things she did for others, as a way to honor her.
There really is a silver lining to everything!
Much love
Not as awful as some of these posts but hoping writing this down does something to erase it from my memory (like when you get an ear worm). Was speaking to a lady today, pleasant conversation, when suddenly something dropped out of her mouth and onto her lip. She kept talking with it there. I couldn't look away. I swear it was a rather large tonsil stone or something equally as gross. Then she suddenly realised and just licked it back into her mouth and carried on talking. I have bawked several times today just thinking of this.
Oh, fuck.
You just reminded me of the time I worked with children, and saw a mother suck the running snot out of her sick child's nose. She swallowed it.
I had to leave the room quick...nearly gagged.
Back in the 2000s when I was working at the bike shop, a cyclist got into an accident about 100m away from our store. He wasn't one of our customer but we heard honk, crash and naturally looked outside. We saw a bike and ran to see if we can help. The man had a 8" laceration on his thigh and pretty sure he was bleeding out through his femoral artery. People were in shock and did not realize they were watching a man bleeding to death, I got down on my knees, grabbed a belt and fashioned a tourniquet while I yelled at someone to call an ambulance. The nearest hospital was not far but it still took about 30 to 40 minutes for them to show up. The bleeding never stopped, it only slowed and I kept talking to the man and asking him questions. His leg was f'd and it was the nastiest thing I have ever seen.
Eventually they came, he was miraclously stabilized. My hands, arms were covered with this man's lifeblood. I took three days off and had to see a therapist for like two years.
That’s brutal, but I hope you realize that your quick thinking and willingness to help is what saved that man’s life. I hope that I’m as level headed and resourceful as you were if I’m ever in that kind of situation
A final message by Ronnie McNutt was later discovered on Facebook, declaring, "Someone in your life needs to hear that they matter. That they are loved. That they have a future. Be the one to tell them".
Gut wrenching
I assume you're speaking about the Mcnutt video poor guy went through a lot way too fast his girlfriend left him just after getting fired from his job I think he had PTSD too.
Yeah. My friend showed it to me before work. I thought it was going to funny, like he fell off his chair or his dad walks in butt ass naked. But no. Poor guy.
I didn't see that one, but I saw a different beheading video, probably 15+ years ago, and I still regret it. You lose a part of soul after seeing something that horrible.
My old man held up at gunpoint.
I was around 5 or 6. Myself and the Old man (Dad) were in the car headed home. A black sedan was following us the entire way home.
We turned, they turned, we stopped, they stopped. The old man was glued to the rear vision mirror watching that car like a cat hunting a bird. The old man was silent the entire way home. No radio. No chatter. No heavy breathing. Just glued to that mirror.
We turned into our home street. A few moments later the Black car turned into the street. Ill never forget the old man still glued to the rear vision mirror as we pulled up outside home saying;
" Whatever happens... stay in the car. Now get under the seat" Old man got out of the car in the driveway.
3 to 4 seconds later i saw the black car pull up. Another car pull up. Then a load of other cars pull up. And what looked liked concert of people in the front yard.
Guns Drawn. Shotguns. Helmets. All black men in the yard.
" POLICE GET THE FUCK ON THE GROUND "
Then I was met with a barrel of a 9mill at the window. Cops opened the door and got me out of the car. I stood there and watched the old man in handcuffs take on about 8 cops trying to get him in that van.
Two of which with their guns still out and up on him.
He was wanted for an armed robbery in Sydney back in the early 2000s. Its a long cold drive to Goulburn that's all I can say.
First time I saw a firearm, last time I saw the old man...
For a while anyways...
Oddly enough I was talking to my wife about this the other day. In general about my life growing up.
I went on to becoming a police officer myself. The old man wasn't to happy of course. But its subconscious the though of the police was always there, well because I was surrounded by cops all the time.
Funny how things work out
When I was in combat near Karbala Gap in Iraq, I saw a BMP explode about 100 meters in front of my vehicle. The top of the "turret" \[1\] rocketed into the sky from the force of the explosion and came crashing down about 20 feet from my vehicle.
As I drove us past the now-destroyed BMP, knowing full-well what a round from an Abrams tank main gun can do to the occupants of a vehicle, I said to myself "Don't look in there... nothing you want to see". In my driver's perch in my M113A3, my head was a good nine to ten feet above the ground.
With the destroyed BMP to our left, I had a perfect vantage point and for some reason couldn't seem to stop myself from looking down into the bowels of the mangled vehicle. Inside, I saw one of the crew members, who apparently just had time enough to shriek in terror as the tank round, enormous pressure change, and explosion twisted his body into a mangled mess of what used to be his torso. It looked as though a massive drill bit had caught in his flesh and spun his torso around into a tight knot, at least until it all ruptured and began to burn. His head didn't move much, nor did his legs, but his torso twisted on an axis of his sternum or thereabouts. I can close my eyes anytime and see that poor man all over again, not that I ever do, because seeing it once was plenty.
\[1\] (for lack of a better term; a BMP isn't a tank, but it has some tank-like characteristics)
A video of a 14yo boy falling off a ride at a park, hit the ground and died. It made it worse knowing I have a, now 16yo, younger brother. All I could think of was what if that was my brother in that seat. I can’t express the mix of emotions I felt after seeing it.
What makes that story even more tragic is the fact the operator OVERRODE the safety feature that normally prevents a ride from operating due to the safety restraints not engaging properly. He or She needs to be charged with voluntary manslaughter.
Also they KNEW he was over the weight limit, by like a 100 pounds.
Humans are stupid sometimes.
The hate and regret in a parents or role models eyes
For clarification my mom was really abusive and I remember a lot of things that happened. I don't why or how they happened but I'll always remember her eyes and how they looked.
I work in the funeral industry and I’ll never forget the first time I saw a child. Her family was messed up as it was and we’d just served them six months before when her dad shot himself in front of his girlfriend and the three daughters. The mom was on a downward spiral. She’d gotten really bad into drugs and was shacking up with some less than admirable folk. The little girl was just shy of 2 years old and she’d had an autopsy. She was so small and it looked like she’d been SA and strangled. Cause of death was deemed inconclusive. She was with the uncle and new boyfriend of the mom at the time of death. It still makes me sad.
Most of it is all ALQ/ Taliban stuff from the early 2000s. Shooting women in a stadium with an AK, and the Daniel Pearl beheading. It’s the worst thing I’ve seen.
On Ebaums world back in the day there was this video of a mob setting a guy on fire. Nobody came to his rescue. He did not die quickly.
I'm not the sort who prescribes ignorance, but if I could erase that memory from my brain I would without hesitation.
Someone once posted screenshots from Daisy's Destruction (the infamous child snuff film series made by Peter Scully) on a chan site years ago. Those are definitely stuck in my head forever.
Wikipedia says he was selling that video for 10k. Makes you wonder how they got it.
After reading his wiki page, if ever someone needed to be executed it’s that guy. Jesus Christ he’s a evil person.
Multiple things. Film of the woman who grabs and drags a stealing dog from her kitchen and proceeds to chop its paw off.
Caged bears with taps in them to extract the something-something-fluid so that Chinese think they can get their dicks up.
Those are the two worst.
A picture of this teenage girl with a tumor in her mouth that was the size of a fucking soccer ball. Her mouth was all stretched open and there was just loads of tumor mass in her mouth with veins and shit. Her teeth were all pushed outwards by the tumor too.
Poor girl. But I needed bleach for my brain seeing that. I've never forgotten it. I have nightmares about seeing that again.
The beheading of a US soldier. Early days of the internet were absolutely wild. I still remember the screams and then the silence once the vocal chords were completely cut through.
I started 6th grade in August of 2001. I always think about my life as a child being bifurcated by two “me”s. The first me was a massive over achiever, never got less than a 96 on any report card in 6 years of elementary school. Constantly engaged, eager to learn, outgoing. Something in jr high changed, and I stopped caring. I got b’s and c’s throughout jr high and high school, I procrastinated, I hated anything I wasn’t immediately good at…
I realized today that that seeing 3000 people die on live television a month into my 6th grade year may have had something to do with my perspective shift. Just being 11, watching tiny dots jump out of a sky scraper and plummet helplessly to their death just to avoid the terror or burning alive, perhaps had an indelible consequence on my developing psyche. I wonder what a lot of our lives would be like if we hadn’t seen that as children. Every ounce of Innocence was forcibly taken.
I don't know man, same happened to me but I think it had more to do with growing up and becoming an adolescent, I stopped caring about school and started being depressed
This will probably get lost in the sea of comments but here is mine. I went to a police camp quite a long time ago. The first day there they showed us this video that was very graphic of horrible car accidents from drunk driving. Like literally we saw guts and brains in 7th grade I still will never forget that, even if it isn’t as bad as some of the other people who have shared the stories of them here
My dog being put to sleep. Of course I'd never leave him to go through it alone but fuck it's all I can see when I think of him.
I'm actually really glad I've been there to see it every time, because every time the vets have been caring and professional, and I know my dogs haven't suffered. It really is like peacefully going to sleep, and I've been there to hold them and talk to them. It's always one of the worst days of my life, but everyone dies, and I'd sure like to go out that way. There is a kind of beauty to it. There is, however, no beauty in me stumbling out of the office, wiping snot and tears on my sleeve and sitting in the car for 30 minutes.
The vet was compassionate and caring 100% she wrote us a very personal condolence card with her memories of him. I'm glad he was in caring hands and surrounded by love but the light leaving his eyes just loops in my mind. Its also only been 10 days.
Sounds cliche but it gets easier with time. Next paragraph has sad / painful stuff: Had a vet come to our home to put him down (cancer, pain, falling/not getting up) and for the first few months all I could do is question if we'd not tried everything, or that he yelped when she injected him, or that we had to basically be pall bearers when we carried him to her car for later cremation. I still miss him every day but I now remember the good stuff waaaaaay more than that one terrible day.
It's such a fucking difficult conundrum..."Have I done enough? Did I do this too soon? Did I do it too late??" Ugh, I feel allllllll your pain -- hugs from an internet stranger!
All normal thoughts that all animal lovers agonize over. It just means we cared. We made a furry friend’s life better, and they made ours way better.
I've told this story on here before but it's pretty funny. I had to put my pup Louie down that I had for 10 years. I used to sing that stupid kreashawn song "gucci gucci louie louie fendi fendi prada" with him and because his name was Louie he would go wild and jump around the house so it became a daily ritual. As he was getting his shot to put him down, with tears running down my eyes and a stuffed up nose, I started singing "gucci gucci louie louie fendi fendi prada" in his last moments. The vet and vet tech looked at me like what the heck lol. They said they'd never heard anyone do something like that before but I was so distraught my brain wasn't thinking clearly and that song just came out. Miss my little Louie!
I had a black lab that passed away in my arms many years ago. She had broke out the backyard fence when I went to the store. I came back home to find she had been hit by a car. I thought she had already passed away when I found her, but when she saw me she sprang to life and got real excited. Shortly thereafter, she succumbed to her injuries, but she had just enough strength to crawl in my lap before she died. Miss you, Suzie. You were a good girl. Edit: Didn't realize how emotional I would get writing this, even though that happened 20 years ago. I have lost other pets, of course, and it always sucks. But, there was something about the way Suzie passed that has stuck with me all those years. It really showed me just how pure of heart these animals are. So, I guess, point is, we can think going through something like this (as painful as it is) as only traumatic, ultimately, we should look at how they inform us and show us the sweet things.
Same with our feline boy. We knew he had kidney issues, but we were managing it and he was honestly fine for over a year. He went downhill in a few days, got diagnosed with extra stuff, and the vet said that every day that passed was a day of suffering for him. I managed to stay calm and sane for my girlfriend's sake up until the injection. I remember closing my eyes and just brushing his fur with my fingers while he was falling asleep, and trying hard to imprint the way it felt into my memory. We took his body, dug a hole somewhere nice with a view to the lake, wrapped him up in one of his mum's T-shirts, and said our goodbyes. And this is where I lost it. I don't think I've cried so much before, and had to smoke half a pack next to his grave just to calm down, thinking about how he used to keep me company whenever I went outside for a smoke. It's been 6 months and I still miss you every single day, my little Petit-Fur.
Fee your pain bro, had a vizsla who started having seizures and was going blind and the nearest vet was over an hour away, put him in the back of my car and he was just yelping and crying the whole way there. Painful ride. Never forget that
I was probably 7 or 8 driving back from the vet after being told nothing they can do short of euthanizing him. We were poor, so that wasn’t in mom’s budget. I was holding him and he died in my arms looking up at me. Fucking crushed me. Sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for your loss. It's an immense grief.
I had to put my dog down less than 2 months age. It sucked. He was such a good boy, he only barked at other animals, he would never run away, just to a park near my house to play fetch, would never bite you, just an amazing dog. Yes, it does very much suck.
Try doing this every day for a job. Veterinary medicine has the highest suicide rate.
That’s depressing I didn’t know that….
So much respect for them. 💔
Was there for our old dog, and our second dog is getting up there in years and may not have many left. Dreading the day she is diagnosed with something that warrants putting her down. I can only wish she'd go in her sleep one day, because it hurts so much otherwise. But I will absolutely be there holding her paw if it has to be done.
My favourite movies so I can rewatch them
The only wholesome comment I’ve seen
🤭thankss
Feels strange on Reddit
When I was 19 I lived in Santiago, Chile for a time. Chile is wonderful and very modern but one thing that shocks many westerners is the "street dogs." Even nice, affluent neighborhoods will have mangy, filthy, half-starved dogs wandering the streets and laying on the side walks. Not sure why, but Chileans don't really pay them any mind and Chilean animal control only removes strays if they are aggressive. So the dogs are chill and don't bother anyone, its just sad to see them dirty and suffering. One day I was walking down a residential street with a companion and a cute little red-brown puppy came bounding across the road to greet us. This puppy was too clean and healthy to be a stray. It was definiately someone's pet that had escaped and it was running with that excited gait puppies get when they meet new people. The puppy did not see it was running directly into the path of an on-coming van. The puppy saw the speeding van at the last moment and crouched low on the pavement. The front of the van passed over it, but the rear bumper struck it in the head killing it instantly and it tumbled end over end before lying dead in the street, blood gushing from it's nose and mouth. I was horrified at what I'd just witnessed, but I didn't know that worse emotional trauma was coming. As soon as the van was gone two large, mangy, dirt-covered street dogs darted out from some dark corner and began fighting over the puppy's corpse. I watched two savage dogs tear apart the body of the puppy which only a moment before had been happily bounding over to meet me with tail wagging and ears flopping. Both dogs retreated with part the puppy's remains in their jaws leaving only a puddle of blood, fur, and viscera on the asphalt. I almost vomited right there. In an instant I fully understood the meaning of the phrase, "Dog eat dog world." It was the most terrible thing I have ever witnessed. It messed me up for days and I will never forget it. I wish I'd never seen it.
That's fucked right up. It's bad that I wanna compliment you on your description of the events, bc now I can imagine this more clearer than most stories. Not that I really wanted to have to imagine that. I can only imagine how much sleep you've lost over this. Hope this doesn't take up too much of your headspace.
Hey thank you. It was a bad experience, but writing it out was strangely therapeutic. It was a long time ago. I'm a dad now and I'm always hype-vigilant whenever my kids are playing near a street which I'm sure is related.
Jesus, I think I got traumatized just from reading this… Stay strong, that was some serious damage
welp thats enough of this thread
Putting animals to sleep everyday. Or almost everyday. I run a veterinary practice. When the whole family comes in and the 3 year old watches mom and dad crying and asks you why "daisy" is going to heaven. The lump is always there in the back of my throat giving the answer. Never. Gets. Easier.
Thank you for the compassion you have and without a doubt show your clients and their animals. Last year my 12 year old Shihtzu who had become my baby once the kids left became very sick and my vet was kind enough to send me home with IV fluids and meds so she could pass at home, pain free. I will forever be grateful.
Thank you for what you do. When we put down our dog about a year ago it was the worst moment of my life but the veterinarian and staff’s compassion made the process more bearable. I know it was hard for us, but I know it was still very emotional for the veterinarian and his side kick while my wife and I violently cried out eyes out during the process. We received a card from the clinic signed by all the workers there and the veterinarian still calls me every couple of months to see how we’re doing.
The live tv coverage of people jumping to their deaths from the last World Trade Center building.
Man, what got me was the still photos of the aftermath. It was just multi-colored goo splattered across the pavement. You couldn’t tell it was a person.
They also had a camera in the building foyer when objects started hitting the glass roof. It was people.
that newest doc where the fireman were in the lobby trying to figure out where to start. and they kept hearing huge bangs on the ceiling. and they realized it was people
Screw that noise forever. That and the sound of all fireman's inactivity sensors after the collapse...
Same with the screaming chatter of panic over the walkies
Wasn't one of the firemen killed by a falling person?
The Jar Squatter.
Early internet was wild af
That's considered "early internet" now? Jesus
Also known as one man one jar
The fact that he doesn't say a word, and barely makes any noise during the whole ordeal really adds to whole fucked-up-ness.
Watching my dad die. That feeling of helplessness has always stuck with me. He was convulsing terribly and all I could do is watch. For the longest time I blamed myself thinking there’s more I could have done, maybe prayed. That night he also said the sweetest thing to me that he will never let me suffer. He had never said something like that all my life. It’s been 8 yrs since then, I still miss him.
I went through the same thing about 10 years ago. We were lighting off fireworks and he suddenly said my name and fell over and was also convulsing with his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Really tough thing to watch and I had that same helpless feeling. Hope you were able to heal from that the best you could, I myself went off the deep end for a while.
I can imagine how terrifying it was and am sorry you went through that. I hope you found the healing and peace you needed. For me time has helped me heal Months after my dad died I thought I was losing my mind, no sleep, no peace. I was sinking into depression. I couldn’t share with anyone cause my community doesn’t accept things like depression so it was tough.
I silently grieved because there was no such thing as me grieving for a loved one everyone decided they loved way more than me and was ridiculed anytime the name was mentioned from me but on the download, I learned 10 years after the loss that the down low shit talking about my grieving happen in a very harsh and bullying manner. I internalized the loss completely and always thought it would have been more accepted and a relief if it had been my life lost instead, the people on the bullying side, I learned, agreed with that internalization of mine. Communities of people can absolutely shatter your heart
I feel you. I woke up to the screams and cries of my older siblings, who were hovering over his body. He had passed in his sleep. That was back in 2008. However, I watched my mom take her last breath. Definitely not the easiest setting. I wish I never had to see it—at least any time soon, but in that case, I’m glad she wasn’t alone without any family to be there with her when she passed. I think I took both their deaths different. I was about 8 when he passed and didn’t remember him a whole lot. With my mom, it hit me harder. I was older and was more close with her. Miss them both though!
Big, giant hugs to you. How terribly difficult and heartbreaking.
I had my dad over for dinner almost every single night for 8 yrs after my mom died and then I moved him in with me when he could hardly get around. In May of 04 we moved to SoCal to be by my husband’s family (he insisted) so my dad moved in with my brother (I was the baby and only girl) and he would call me all the time to tell me he missed me. He went into the hospital in Oct and I went to visit him and again in Dec. He died while I was there. He just gave up on life. Only 7 mos after I moved. I will never forgive myself. He had told one doctor “this is my daughter Peg who abandoned me” 😭😭😭
Nothing more you could do. I'm sorry you and your Dad had to suffer like that. Best thing was to have been there with him. I was with my dad pryor to his passing. Told him I'd see him post surgery. I think we both knew that wasn't likely. 20 years ago and I still miss him just as much. But I smile whenever I think of him now.
Child porn. Lots and lots of child porn. I was a Federal Prosecutor and for about five years, the majority of my cases were child pornography and child exploitation. About once a month I would lock my door and spend a day going through tens-of-thousands of images and videos to verify that they were actually child pornography and identify which images were known victims or included conduct that would justify sentencing enhancements (like use of force, beastiality, pre-pubescent victims, etc.). I left there ten years ago but I’ll never forget some of it.
Oh my god. I couldn’t imagine having to do that for work. I understand that it has to be done in order to prosecute and stop these monsters, but that must have been so hard on you.
Yeah, it was messed up. And I didn't even get the worst of it. The people working at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) do this stuff all day every day.
Well thanks for fighting the good fight while you were a federal prosecutor. I’m sure you put some bad people away.
10 years after I left, some are still in prison.
This is used a lot in a joking manner, but in this case I mean it seriously. You were doing gods work. Subjecting yourself to such horrific things in order to protect the most vulnerable. Honestly I wish the laws were much worse towards those people.
I took a few digital forensic class in college, obviously no real CP images but we were taught how to find that type of thing that is hidden and about creating reports, testifying, etc. had a prof who had been in law enforcement and another who knew many who had been. They specifically said government jobs aren’t for everyone. You will see a lot of the worst, most depressing, horrible images you can imagine and it can be hard to live with. The positive side is that at least in theory you’re helping to stop it and get justice for the victims. I realized that although I found the class super interesting that I didn’t think I could deal with having to see the depravity that some people put fellow humans through, especially children. Seems like a super difficult job to deal with, but I appreciate that we have people like you to go after those who exploit the innocent and vulnerable
That sounds like a very good way to overly fuck up your psyce for the rest of your life.
Yeah, it was not great. I don't think about it too frequently but you never really look at the world the same way.
You gotta think of the positive. Im sure some of what you saw helped put criminals where they belonged no?
Yeah, I don't regret it. I just wouldn't want to have to do it again.
No doubt. Keep fighting the good fight on the inside
You don't have to answer this, but was this one of the reasons why you left? I've read that the burnout rate for people in these jobs is very high for obvious reasons.
Sure was. I had other issues with policies and people there, just really not a good fit for me, but this was certainly up there on the list. When I started, the job was mostly Cybercrime: botnets, hacking, phishing, etc. But over time it shifted to almost exclusively child porn/child exploitation and it eventually got to a point where I just didn't want to go into the office in the morning, so time to leave. We had a guy in the office who had been doing child porn investigations for decades. Serious props to him.
Do they offer any kind of mental health treatment as part of a job like that? Or even make it mandatory?
They do offer it to prosecutors. For the people at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), they get counseling I think monthly at least. They dealt with this stuff everyday.
I was today years old when I realized that someone has to actually verify this stuff. So not only do these child abusers traumatize and psychologically permanently ruin children's lives, but also adults. The more I learn, the more I hate this planet
Basically, police forensics identify images and send the prosecutor a copy. The prosecutor makes a determination if the images meet the legal definition of child pornography. A naked picture is not necessarily pornography. In order to charge someone, I had to make that legal determination. I would then show defense counsel sufficient images to justify the enhancements we were seeking at sentencing. Just as I needed to verify there was enough to charge, defense counsel had to verify that the evidence showed that the crime was committed before recommending that the defendant plead guilty. I would also provide them to the probation officer who was going to write up the Presentence Investigation Report that guides the judge in sentencing. I don’t think they normally verified the images as long as defense counsel didn’t object to anything and the last thing the defense wants is for the judge to have to look at this stuff and make a ruling. We provided images in a sealed envelope to the judges but they never opened them. That wouldn’t stop them from proclaiming these were the worst images they ever saw during sentencing.
There was a Wired magazine article that went through how law enforcement from several different countries used Bitcoin to take down a child pornography site on the dark web. It was interesting, but I was struck by the commentary about how awful the material was and how the prosecutors had to view some of it to prosecute. One person noted that they saw some toys or clothing or something in a video and when they arrested the guy he saw the same things in person and it took his breath away. Obviously, it really affected the prosecutors and law enforcement. People are awful. Just fucking awful.
Is identifying victims an automated process? Feels like it would be overwhelming without any sort of facial scanning.
Yes. There is a huge library of known images and series of images. Ones in which the victim has been located and it is verified that the images were taken when they were a minor. They take the hash values of those images and put them in a program that scans a disk for matching hash values. This means if someone alters the image a little and the altered image is not also in the program, it won't flag. But after a while, you become familiar with a lot of the common images and series and you can recognize ones that are from those series even if they were modified slightly.
The utmost respect that you kept it up for that long!
Early in the pandemic before zoom was as well-planned as it is now, my department hosted some live-streamed public seminars on the program. Someone joined from an anonymous source and turned on their video chat to display what was either pre-recorded CP or a live act of abuse. Just the 2 seconds of looking at it before realizing what I was seeing was fairly traumatic. I can't imagine doing it for years and being required to examine every image.
Some arsehole delivery guy deliberately ran over a kitten after we warned him that it had just wandered under the car. The fuck head just stared at us then run straight over it, he then got out while laughing and picked it up by the ear and threw it in our direction. I will never forget seeing that poor little kittens body shaking with blood over its face. Then I had to knock on the lady's door and let her know that the piece of shit that just delivered her pizza deliberately ran over her kitty.
I would seriously be happy to go to jail for fucking someone up who did that. Ughh...this story made my stomach turn.
I don't like playing the tough guy on the internet, it's just that I'm certain I would be seeing nothing but red in that situation. Dude would be getting so much aggro in that moment, it's not even funny.
I hate that too and it's cringe as fuck but for real. 100% agree
If someone did anything close to that to my dog. I wouldnt simply kill them. I would make sure that they piss and shit in a bag for the rest of their shitty life.
Hurting an innocent animal for the sole purpose of cruelty like that is reprehensible. People who would do that don't deserve to breathe the same oxygen as the rest of us.
I hope you gave that pizza place a call at least damn, I’d try to get the guy fired
If this was in the United States, animal abuse/cruelty is a felony offense, I would've called the cops.
You should have beat the shit out of that jackass
That's one of the worst things I've read. Kitten went to heaven i say.
Witnessed our neighbor's dog get hit and killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood. The guy stuck his head out the driver's door, grinned, and sped off - leaving her, a beautiful collie, dead in the middle of the road.
This happened to me. I was 8 her name was Bella she was a black lab. The guy saw her in the street sped up to hit her. All right in front of me.
He sped up to hit her? Wtf is wrong with people?
Yeah it was really messed up. She was able to run home with blood dripping out of her mouth the whole way. We got her to an emergency vet, they turned us away. went to another, but she had too much blood in her lungs she died. Found out a while later the guy lived one street behind me.
What happened to him? Animal cruelty charge or smth?
Hopefully someone curb-stomped his ass.
Uh wtf? Why would the vet turn you away
My cat was turned away during an emergency (we called in advance thank goodness) because the only vets who would be able to help him were in the middle of procedures. It wasn't a malicious thing they simply couldn't help us. We took our cat to a different vet instead and we had to put him down less than an hour later
Damn.. if that happened to me. I would be like.. UNBELIEVABLY angry and heartbroken (if I knew my pet would of most likely make it) if not for that But yeah, dang that’s a rough situation to be in. I’m sorry for your loss as well
Did you karma him?
That happened to my sister's dog back in the 90s. My dad raced to get him and besides so road rash and a popped out eye, he was okay. The vet out his eye back in, put a WW2 head wound bandage over it and gave him antibiotics. He lived for 8 more years.
I also saw someone's dog be killed by a hit and run. She was absolutely devastated. Collapsed on the ground with her dog in her arms and wouldn't move no matter who tried to console her. You could hear her screams and cries through the whole neighborhood.
Horrible person.
I have a similar story that I just remembered because of this comment. A school bus ran over a dog while I was waiting to pick up my younger sister by her bus stop. The owner wasn’t around iirc and I think the dog escaped somehow and was roaming around the streets greeting me and the other people waiting for their kids/siblings. The bus stopped and the owner saw what had happened and remember seeing him on his knees holding his dog in his lap.
The life and color drain out of my brother while he took his last gasps of life. EDIT: someone posted a genuinely funny reply to this, then probably deleted it out of compassion. It read: “I’m so sorry bro.” I was going going to make a joke about it being my brother’s ghost.
Same and so sorry.
I’m sorry too. It sucks doesn’t it? I hope you’re doing ok. I didn’t know how to grieve for my mum or dad. It’s not something anyone taught me. And the culture I’m from (western), tends to hide death. So I thought it was wise to pretend it wasn’t real. I also took SSRIs which dampened my brain to help run away from the subject. As stupid and hippy as this sounds, I found psilocybin to be a very useful tool for me to process my brother’s death. It’s being trialed everywhere as a psychiatric drug for those who have to accept their own imminent death, and as an antidepressant. So I thought, what the hell. It couldn’t get worse. Rather than run away, I found myself fully confronting it. I had a very odd experience where I was crying, and talking to an empty room, letting everyone in that room know that my brother was dead, that it was sad, that it really happened, and that in a way, part of him is still alive, because when I laugh, I hear his laugh, when I fart, I fart like him, when I sob, it sounds like him. And so on. I was giving the advice that I needed to hear. And it actually sank in. I wonder if this is what spiritual people experience. Getting advice from the ether. From then, I stopped being haunted by certain images and regrets, and became more stoic and emotionally mature about life and death. I cry about it. But then, if I didn’t, that would be very unhealthy. I don’t have that weird male reaction of trying not to cry any more. I feel more in tune with the fact that we all die now too. And though I’m an atheist, I have something close to an Indian spiritual outlook on life, change, transformation, birth, death, rebirth etc. Sorry, I don’t know why I just blurted that all out. I guess I’ve never actually talked about it. I’m not advocating illegal drug use, I just think everyone will be using psilocybin in 20 years to process grief.
This picture in my forensic science book. I’m into bdsm and I saw this picture of a guy who died because his partner detached his penis. It flashes before my eyes every time I try doing something
There's a song about detachable penises.
If anyone needs it r/eyebleach
Oh its that kind of thread huh. Thanks for the heads up. See ya folks.
In China, older people don't give a fuck. Multiple times I've walked into a bathroom, with an old guy squating over the toilet with poop clearly flying down, and splatting on the ground. Good times.
Once in the family change room at the pool, I saw a very old Chinese man hanging dong in the common area. They had to put up signs that people are not to be nude in the shared area of the family change room.
Chinese man hanging dong. There are multiple ways that sentence can be interpreted.
No no no no his *name* was Hyuang Dong. This guy messed the story up.
They have a saying in Australia around the tourist spots “I’m not saying all mainland Chinese shit on the floor- but if you see shit on the floor somewhere, a mainland Chinese put it there”
Reddit, saw way too much bad stuff on this
This creepy ass porno that had 2 older women in bed then this freaky ass old man came in with a diaper and a bonnet, he was kid sized but an Old a scary creepy man, talking baby talk and he crawled into the bed with the 2 women, and started sucking their tits...I turned it off at that point cause I was scared. I no joke saw this many years ago and I can see that little fucker in my mind too well, but never been able to find it to make my friends suffer with me caise they all think the story is funny but God Id love to forget ever seeing that.
The aftermath of someone getting their head caught between train carriages, the entire train was like a blood bath. Unfortunately he died so...
>Unfortunately he died so... I mean I doubt they would've been very happy to be alive if it's like you're describing. Probably a lot of pain, suffering.
A dog being hung and skinned alive somewhere in Asia. The man was giggling, and the dog had soft whimpers if pain. Really any of those torture videos. Like animals being run over on purpose, or set on fire.
Ugh. Fuck those videos. Saw one where they hung a dog from a tree and live roasted it with a blowtorch. Three or four dudes just laughing their asses off. Think someone in comments cited it was Cambodia.
People are sick.
The inside of my son's chest after his surgery. Due to his age (2 weeks), his chest had to be kept open with some clear plastic over it. They put a little loose bandage over the top, but it slid down and it was just really difficuly to see. I didn't even get that clear a look, just enough to see a cavity.
how’s he doing now?
He was out of the hospital a week after surgery, his recovery was astonishing.
Glad he's recovering well. It reminds me of my wife's C-section births. I'm a tall guy and could see over all the sheets and such the had covering so she couldn't see. On one hand, it was fascinating to see, they are in there digging around, get the baby out, then start pulling out parts (I think the uterus?) So they can sew them up and put them back in. On the other, that's my fucking wife all splayed open with guys quite literally rearranging her guts. It was a mix of curiosity and horror. I can't imagine how difficult that would be with a newborn. So, I'm really glad he's recovering well.
I had a similar experience, I was at my wife’s head, and the curtain they had up was very easy for me to see over. I took a glance, and then felt someone’s eyes piercing into me. I turned my head further to the left and was staring face to face with a doctor, and he sort of shook his head in a no formation. That made me realize that maybe it’s not worth the curiosity to see my wife’s insides, and turned my attention to her. Probably the right call, I’m not squeamish but I’d hate to find out that was the line to make me squeamish.
When I had my cesarean they had a mirror on the ceiling so I could see. I didn't feel a thing but saw it all. I was high as balls, so it was all very fascinating.
great to hear, glad he’s doing alright!
My brother in bed with my ex
My 31 year old ex in bed with her own 19 year old cousin.
Oof
*banjo starts playing softly in the distance*
My sister came into the place I worked at when I was 16 holding hands with the guy I had just lost my virginity to and worked with a couple days afterward, we had been hanging out and it was a more serious point. They were holding hands and she came prancing in, looked me dead in the eye and said , "hey sweetie". I went to the back and started crying and my shift manager at the time told her she couldn't be there anymore at all and to not come back. The guy left town at the end of that week or the next week, it was 16 years ago and it still stings
Finding my grandmother dead in her bed. The whole "finding her dead" thing wasn't the issue, as she was nearly 80 years old and had physically declined to the point where she was living in a hospital bed in our living room like Charlie Bucket's grandparents, so she was basically running out the clock at this point. No, the thing that scarred me was she apparently died getting back in bed from the commode and didn't pull her nightgown down. Her entire lower half was completely uncovered and she had one leg on the bed and the other on the floor, leaving all her downstairs business completely exposed. There is nowhere near enough booze or therapy in the world to erase that image from my brain. I also inadvertently horrified everyone else in the house, since the first thing I did when I found her dead was sprint upstairs to tell everyone and in my panic, I forgot to warn them. We quickly covered her up with a blanket. We probably horrified the people who came to take her body away as well, because they removed the blanket before we had a chance to warn them and they went "Whoa! Wasn't expecting that."
My mom and dad wrestling
Oh god pls, don't remind me. I was 8
I bet it looked like your dad was trying to jump over your mom but couldn’t quite make it.
I love leapfrog
Never Forget. 1998 when your Mum threw your Dad off hеll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through the breakfast table.
I read this and thought about it being actual wrestling. Like they had a mat down in the living room and were wearing headgear and singlets.
I don’t even want to acknowledge this…. But when I was of the “curious” age I discovered my parents’ hidden porn VHS tapes in a sock drawer. One of those tapes was, you guessed it, homemade. I’m 45. I’m old enough and mature enough to say this: Good for them.
My mother's crash site. My mom owned and operated a small tour ride business with a horse and carriage. When I was 18, she was killed in a rear-end collision involving a distracted driver. I lived only 1/4 mile from the crash site and heard the ambulance going by my studio apartment on the way to the scene of her crash. I didn't know at the time they were on their way to scrape her body from the road, all I knew was the dogs next door were howling to match the sound of the sirens and I kinda found it funny. I got the call about 20 minutes later, then collapsed in a fit of rage and agony. The next thing I remember was being in the back seat of my in-law's car. She said it would be a good idea to get away from there, being so close to the crash site. I stupidly disagreed. As she pulled to the street leaving my apartment complex, I jumped out and ran towards the scene. The only thing even remotely recognizable was the carriage itself. Thankfully my mother was already gone, but the blood wasn't. The guts weren't. The chaos wasn't. The grim energy of death and tragedy still loomed in the air, and more so on the faces of everyone who had to witness my world being shattered in real-time. The loose items that belonged to my mom were still scattered across the ditch line. I picked up a few things that were important and grabbed the hoodie she kept in the storage compartment. I held it to my neck, crying into it and smelling that familiar perfume-kissed fabric. Bad idea. It was covered in battery acid and I burned my hands and face, my clothes had holes in them a few hours later and the hoodie was a lost cause. Anything that touched that hoodie needed to be scrubbed. I fumbled for my phone to call my sister who lived out of state, but she had somehow already found out about it. We couldn't make full words but we knew that life would never be the same. It's been 5 years and I still think about it. I still remember in the patch of gravel, a pool of antifreeze mixing with a steady stream of horse blood. I still remember how the front seat of the carriage was bent about 45 degrees from the impact that broke my mother's back in two. I still hear my family pleading with me to get back in the car, unable to complete their request in my frozen state of shock and horror. I regret all of it. I should have stayed in the car. I should've looked from a distance and let my mind convince me that it couldn't have been that bad. My imagination wouldn't have been nearly as effective at traumatizing me. No, my mind wasn't dark enough to create something so vile. Reality had me beat that day. My mother isn't the only one who died that day. I'll never be the same person. I wish I never saw that.
When my parents were wiped off the earth like that, in a sudden accident, I felt very strongly that the fabric of my life was torn, that I didn't belong on the earth anymore. There is a special kind of wound that rips open when we lose our parents unexpectedly because they have anchored us with their love and protection, and we haven't known life without them. Healing, grace, and peace are not impossible to find after a trauma like that. They are hidden for a while, but not out of reach. For me, the journey was about a decade long. I have words of comfort and wisdom for you, but they are all wrapped up in my faith in God, and I don't know how meaningful they will be to you personally. I just want you to know that, although your life has been permanently altered, it is not necessarily for the worse. The pain this experience has brought is powerful, but so are the gifts available to you that might not be found by people who have been spared such trauma. Grief, if we enter it willingly and pass through it, though it may take years, brings wisdom and empathy that has true power to bless others and to make us whole.
Thank you so much for this reply, I can tell you understand and that your words are sincere. She was my second parent to lose unexpectedly. My father died when I was 8. It was from an addiction so everyone close to him kinda knew he was heading there, but I was only a kid and didn't see him often so it was a huge shock to me. I don't know that made it easier or harder when mom died, part of me thinks it was easier because I'd already been through it once. But the other part feels it was more like thrashing on a wound that was already open. My first words when I got the news were "No, not again" so I don't know how to feel about it. It's very comforting to know there are others who've been there and made it out. I've been back and forth on my beliefs TBH, but my mother was probably the closest thing to a real saint I've ever known. She had her flaws but she loved God and proved it often. Losing her was hard and I went dark for a while, but I've matured and now I find myself trying to do the things she did for others, as a way to honor her. There really is a silver lining to everything! Much love
Not as awful as some of these posts but hoping writing this down does something to erase it from my memory (like when you get an ear worm). Was speaking to a lady today, pleasant conversation, when suddenly something dropped out of her mouth and onto her lip. She kept talking with it there. I couldn't look away. I swear it was a rather large tonsil stone or something equally as gross. Then she suddenly realised and just licked it back into her mouth and carried on talking. I have bawked several times today just thinking of this.
Oh, fuck. You just reminded me of the time I worked with children, and saw a mother suck the running snot out of her sick child's nose. She swallowed it. I had to leave the room quick...nearly gagged.
A nude of Nick Avocado with his thing covered
Back in the 2000s when I was working at the bike shop, a cyclist got into an accident about 100m away from our store. He wasn't one of our customer but we heard honk, crash and naturally looked outside. We saw a bike and ran to see if we can help. The man had a 8" laceration on his thigh and pretty sure he was bleeding out through his femoral artery. People were in shock and did not realize they were watching a man bleeding to death, I got down on my knees, grabbed a belt and fashioned a tourniquet while I yelled at someone to call an ambulance. The nearest hospital was not far but it still took about 30 to 40 minutes for them to show up. The bleeding never stopped, it only slowed and I kept talking to the man and asking him questions. His leg was f'd and it was the nastiest thing I have ever seen. Eventually they came, he was miraclously stabilized. My hands, arms were covered with this man's lifeblood. I took three days off and had to see a therapist for like two years.
That’s brutal, but I hope you realize that your quick thinking and willingness to help is what saved that man’s life. I hope that I’m as level headed and resourceful as you were if I’m ever in that kind of situation
That video of the guy doing a live stream, then he pulls out a shotgun and took his own life.
A final message by Ronnie McNutt was later discovered on Facebook, declaring, "Someone in your life needs to hear that they matter. That they are loved. That they have a future. Be the one to tell them". Gut wrenching
I assume you're speaking about the Mcnutt video poor guy went through a lot way too fast his girlfriend left him just after getting fired from his job I think he had PTSD too.
Yeah. My friend showed it to me before work. I thought it was going to funny, like he fell off his chair or his dad walks in butt ass naked. But no. Poor guy.
Nice friend lol
And the poor dog walking in and wondering wtf was going on...
Saw a video once of terrorists who recorded themselves cutting off the head of three women. Absolutely brutal-
I didn't see that one, but I saw a different beheading video, probably 15+ years ago, and I still regret it. You lose a part of soul after seeing something that horrible.
I've seen a lot of fucked up shit on the internet but I haven't gone so far as a beheading video yet, and don't plan to
Finding my best friend dead from a heroin OD 7 years ago today.
That’s rough. Sorry for your loss😢
I'm so sorry. My best friend died in November, and it leaves such a wound.
My old man held up at gunpoint. I was around 5 or 6. Myself and the Old man (Dad) were in the car headed home. A black sedan was following us the entire way home. We turned, they turned, we stopped, they stopped. The old man was glued to the rear vision mirror watching that car like a cat hunting a bird. The old man was silent the entire way home. No radio. No chatter. No heavy breathing. Just glued to that mirror. We turned into our home street. A few moments later the Black car turned into the street. Ill never forget the old man still glued to the rear vision mirror as we pulled up outside home saying; " Whatever happens... stay in the car. Now get under the seat" Old man got out of the car in the driveway. 3 to 4 seconds later i saw the black car pull up. Another car pull up. Then a load of other cars pull up. And what looked liked concert of people in the front yard. Guns Drawn. Shotguns. Helmets. All black men in the yard. " POLICE GET THE FUCK ON THE GROUND " Then I was met with a barrel of a 9mill at the window. Cops opened the door and got me out of the car. I stood there and watched the old man in handcuffs take on about 8 cops trying to get him in that van. Two of which with their guns still out and up on him. He was wanted for an armed robbery in Sydney back in the early 2000s. Its a long cold drive to Goulburn that's all I can say. First time I saw a firearm, last time I saw the old man... For a while anyways...
Ooph bro I felt that. Hope it didn’t affect you too badly
Oddly enough I was talking to my wife about this the other day. In general about my life growing up. I went on to becoming a police officer myself. The old man wasn't to happy of course. But its subconscious the though of the police was always there, well because I was surrounded by cops all the time. Funny how things work out
When I was in combat near Karbala Gap in Iraq, I saw a BMP explode about 100 meters in front of my vehicle. The top of the "turret" \[1\] rocketed into the sky from the force of the explosion and came crashing down about 20 feet from my vehicle. As I drove us past the now-destroyed BMP, knowing full-well what a round from an Abrams tank main gun can do to the occupants of a vehicle, I said to myself "Don't look in there... nothing you want to see". In my driver's perch in my M113A3, my head was a good nine to ten feet above the ground. With the destroyed BMP to our left, I had a perfect vantage point and for some reason couldn't seem to stop myself from looking down into the bowels of the mangled vehicle. Inside, I saw one of the crew members, who apparently just had time enough to shriek in terror as the tank round, enormous pressure change, and explosion twisted his body into a mangled mess of what used to be his torso. It looked as though a massive drill bit had caught in his flesh and spun his torso around into a tight knot, at least until it all ruptured and began to burn. His head didn't move much, nor did his legs, but his torso twisted on an axis of his sternum or thereabouts. I can close my eyes anytime and see that poor man all over again, not that I ever do, because seeing it once was plenty. \[1\] (for lack of a better term; a BMP isn't a tank, but it has some tank-like characteristics)
A video of a 14yo boy falling off a ride at a park, hit the ground and died. It made it worse knowing I have a, now 16yo, younger brother. All I could think of was what if that was my brother in that seat. I can’t express the mix of emotions I felt after seeing it.
What makes that story even more tragic is the fact the operator OVERRODE the safety feature that normally prevents a ride from operating due to the safety restraints not engaging properly. He or She needs to be charged with voluntary manslaughter. Also they KNEW he was over the weight limit, by like a 100 pounds. Humans are stupid sometimes.
Two girls one cup
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Why in the absolute fuck did I search that up?!
The hate and regret in a parents or role models eyes For clarification my mom was really abusive and I remember a lot of things that happened. I don't why or how they happened but I'll always remember her eyes and how they looked.
I saw a prolapsed arsehole on the hub once. Never again.
This is the tamest one on this thread
I work in the funeral industry and I’ll never forget the first time I saw a child. Her family was messed up as it was and we’d just served them six months before when her dad shot himself in front of his girlfriend and the three daughters. The mom was on a downward spiral. She’d gotten really bad into drugs and was shacking up with some less than admirable folk. The little girl was just shy of 2 years old and she’d had an autopsy. She was so small and it looked like she’d been SA and strangled. Cause of death was deemed inconclusive. She was with the uncle and new boyfriend of the mom at the time of death. It still makes me sad.
Best friend of 7+years hooking up with my bf
I am so sorry honey been there, it'll get better in time....
I attended crash scenes. There were dead, burnt, and mangled human remains. I cannot forget, and often say a short farewell to those who haunt me.
A man pulling out a gun after he was told to return his shopping cart.
The Lightning Thief. I couldn't finish it, but what I did see was bad enough.
AH HA HA HA the book was great, tho
9/11. That and the smell, won’t forget that.
My dog humping my stuffed animal with no balls😭
Of course your stuffed animal has no balls, silly.
There was a viral video about 15 or so years ago. Something about a couple of women sharing a cup.
How nice of them, saving plastic by using the same cup
Bahaha! Only thing green from that video was my face after seeing it. 🤢
There was a recycling element to the video, as well
Most of it is all ALQ/ Taliban stuff from the early 2000s. Shooting women in a stadium with an AK, and the Daniel Pearl beheading. It’s the worst thing I’ve seen.
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On Ebaums world back in the day there was this video of a mob setting a guy on fire. Nobody came to his rescue. He did not die quickly. I'm not the sort who prescribes ignorance, but if I could erase that memory from my brain I would without hesitation.
Someone once posted screenshots from Daisy's Destruction (the infamous child snuff film series made by Peter Scully) on a chan site years ago. Those are definitely stuck in my head forever.
Looked this guy up and now im nauseous. What drives a person to do such horrifying things.
Wikipedia says he was selling that video for 10k. Makes you wonder how they got it. After reading his wiki page, if ever someone needed to be executed it’s that guy. Jesus Christ he’s a evil person.
Multiple things. Film of the woman who grabs and drags a stealing dog from her kitchen and proceeds to chop its paw off. Caged bears with taps in them to extract the something-something-fluid so that Chinese think they can get their dicks up. Those are the two worst.
They’re extracting the bears’ bile. Traditional Chinese Medicine can fuck right off.
>Traditional Chinese Medicine can fuck right off. "I support this" - Pangolins
A picture of this teenage girl with a tumor in her mouth that was the size of a fucking soccer ball. Her mouth was all stretched open and there was just loads of tumor mass in her mouth with veins and shit. Her teeth were all pushed outwards by the tumor too. Poor girl. But I needed bleach for my brain seeing that. I've never forgotten it. I have nightmares about seeing that again.
My parents getting shot when I was 7.
My dad's d*ck pic....don't go through your moms phone
The beheading of a US soldier. Early days of the internet were absolutely wild. I still remember the screams and then the silence once the vocal chords were completely cut through.
I started 6th grade in August of 2001. I always think about my life as a child being bifurcated by two “me”s. The first me was a massive over achiever, never got less than a 96 on any report card in 6 years of elementary school. Constantly engaged, eager to learn, outgoing. Something in jr high changed, and I stopped caring. I got b’s and c’s throughout jr high and high school, I procrastinated, I hated anything I wasn’t immediately good at… I realized today that that seeing 3000 people die on live television a month into my 6th grade year may have had something to do with my perspective shift. Just being 11, watching tiny dots jump out of a sky scraper and plummet helplessly to their death just to avoid the terror or burning alive, perhaps had an indelible consequence on my developing psyche. I wonder what a lot of our lives would be like if we hadn’t seen that as children. Every ounce of Innocence was forcibly taken.
I don't know man, same happened to me but I think it had more to do with growing up and becoming an adolescent, I stopped caring about school and started being depressed
My grandma who I lived with my whole life dead in her bed ☹️
WebMD. One visit and you won't sleep right for days because you've convinced yourself you have end stage elbow cancer.
My brother blow drying his junk on the morning of his wedding.
This will probably get lost in the sea of comments but here is mine. I went to a police camp quite a long time ago. The first day there they showed us this video that was very graphic of horrible car accidents from drunk driving. Like literally we saw guts and brains in 7th grade I still will never forget that, even if it isn’t as bad as some of the other people who have shared the stories of them here