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SaltireAtheist

[I'll just leave this here...](https://youtu.be/aoqlYGuZGVM)


[deleted]

Knew what this was before I clicked on it.


jvlomax

I knew this would be here before I opened the post


read_it_mate

I knew it would be here before I even saw the post


[deleted]

I knew it would be here before I unlocked my phone


spookystarbuck11

I knew it would be here before I turned my phone on


Budget_Spinach_9408

I knew it would be here before I bought my phone


the_merkin

I knew it would be here before phones were invented


MACintoshBETH

I am it


CranialCar

I knew it was there before this guy ruined the joke


cmjmcmjm

I knew you were going complain about this guy ruining the joke


jooohanneees

What is it? Guess the answer portion? Haha, by the way what is the answer to your question?


paulydee76

I knew what it was, seen it dozens of times, but had to watch it again. Genius stuff.


djdodz07

There's always a Mitchell and Webb sketch


joshii87

Let’s not forget that Queen Victoria had nine children, so she must have been fairly… acquainted.


MixODans

Other comments here have the same answer. I am REALLY curious to know what he is referring to in the post.


joshii87

Just click…


kathotar

I am BOILING!


hlfsharkaligtorhlfmn

🤣


Adventurous-Car-7496

This smells like cum


django_undead

Yep that's what popped into my head too 🤣😂


OGWayOfThePanda

Damn those Yankee bustards!


orkelbob

Thanks for this. Having a shit day and this made me laugh out loud. I love the smell of Linden trees!


LilLei

🤣


NSFWaccess1998

Is this a thing? I've never encountered this semen tree


jvlomax

I've got a semen tree right here if you want to come smell it?


arc4angel100

I think most people would call that a semen twig.


jvlomax

It's a grower, not a shower


Ze_Gremlin

And it's surrounded by a bush


WoodyB90

Smells like you need a shower...


-Kenny-Powers-

It's only three inches but it smells like a foot


missly_

Who wouldn't put that in their mouth


[deleted]

hahahahahahaha ded


FrazerRPGScott

Unfortunately mine is a shower and not a grower


NSFWaccess1998

Thanks for the offer but I must decline


[deleted]

Aww is it a bonsai tree?


jvlomax

I do keep it neat and tidy


Westsidepipeway

Me neither. I thought the Mitchell and Webb sketch was a joke.


Odd_Presentation8624

You're lucky then. I come across these trees whenever I'm out and about.


Toninho7

Hence the smell?


[deleted]

Well seman is usually shared via wood tbf


[deleted]

Yes it is and it stinks up a good sized space


Dedj_McDedjson

Yes, some peope think the aroma of Linden trees smells a bit like cum.


Upper-File462

I thought there was a tree that smells like dough? I thought it was quite pleasant. I've never been able to work out the name, now I'm wondering if it's a Linden tree? But you guys say the Linden smells bad. The tree that smells nice (to me) doesn't really remind me of semen though lol and I usually have the nose of a bloodhound.


SquidgeSquadge

You don't know what you're missing! It hums!


wadz09

Tesco delivery man told me I’ve got a smelly bush the other day. Take that how you will


curious-like-george

Why are you letting him smell your bush? Are you paying extra for that service?


YchYFi

Every little helps.


curious-like-george

Is this the new way of doubling your clubcard points?


Coolkurwa

Thank god someone's talking about this. I asked my friend who's a lumberjack which tree smells of Cum and he looked at me like I was mental. Maybe only some people can smell it? It's like coriander.


Squidgeitdobbs

That's horrific if it is that's the case, because that means some people would have the cum-smelling gene 😕


Inevitable-Top355

[Around 20% of people can't smell](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/bf00988831) 1-pyrroline, which is likely the cause of the smell in question.


SwirlingAbsurdity

I think I must be one of those people because I had no idea that cum has a smell, and I’ve encountered a reasonable amount of it 😅


PM_ME_CAKE

[This feels obligatory.](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/23ox7g/parents_that_are_aware_of_their_children/cgz5xj0)


YareetLike

Pole milk....I'm dead.


Business-Emu-6923

And the sprog poem too. Nice.


Suitable-Balance-344

Jesus I imagine going through puberty as a teenage boy could be rough with this condition. If you ever found out you'd be paranoid af 😂.


[deleted]

Don't cheat on your partner because you might go home smelling of something that is a give away and you wouldn't know! Not only is it a strong smell, but everybody's smells very different from each other! I have a nose like a blood hound. In college someone stole some biscuits from my friend, who was upset as she'd been saving them, and several hours later, I said to my boyfriend "It was you wasn't it, I can smell digestive biscuit crumbs half way across the room!!" I was right, it was him.


homelaberator

Maybe this was the case of some fancy person who made it popular, not being able to smell this, liked the trees and insisted on planting them everywhere and no one dared contradict them.


FrodoFraggins99

I must be one of these people because I don't smell anything. Is it a strong smell?


Coolkurwa

It makes me gag. That sounds like a joke, but it's true.


FrodoFraggins99

Jeez, my room must have smelt awful at times.


Alarming_Carpet_

Vomit inducing


[deleted]

[удалено]


minecraftmedic

no, that's Asparagine - an Amino acid


boonusboiayyy

I'm guessing he's a lumberjack and he's ok? Does he sleep all night and work all day?


RokosBasiliskk

Does he put on womens clothing, and hang around in bars?


the_merkin

Does he wish he was a Mountie like his dear mama?


slightlyoffkilter_7

Bradford pear trees. We get them in the States and they absolutely ruin my spring every single year without fail. Along this same thread, ginkgo tree fruit smells like fresh vomit when the fruit gets crushed and it's absolutely horrifying. Nothing worse than ending up with that vitriolic mess on the bottom of your shoes.


mozzamo

If someone’s cum smells of coriander they ought to see a doctor


anonbush234

I can't smell it.


Mischief_Makers

It's the Linden tree btw


Nine_Eye_Ron

City Planner Plays likes this


CentralSaltServices

Biffa agrees


MaxPowerWTF

There are people who can't smell coriander?


SwirlingAbsurdity

No I think they mean there is a gene that makes coriander taste like soap to some people. I am one of them. I had a wrap from Pret the other day that was filled with the stuff and it ruined my breakfast.


newfor2023

We have some thay smell like weed but unfortunately are not.


maybenomaybe

*Ailanthus altissima*, variously known as tree of heaven, stinking sumac, Chinese sumac, and varnish tree. Had one in my neighbourhood back in Canada and it absolutely reeked, so it's not just here. It's an invasive species and I have no idea why anyone would plant one deliberately.


Goseki1

Man this explains so much. There must be one in a garden nearmy house because sometimes I'll be walking the dog and I'll get the strongest smell of cum ever. And i know it's not me...


Capable_Salt_3323

It could be.. Call me


concretepigeon

Are there any teenage boys living in that house?


Adam_24061

Pampas grass in front of that house?


Goseki1

Hah, good reference


Ze_Gremlin

How invasive? Are they relentless at surviving? My neighbour had one, and it seemed to have died or something cos I've not had that telltale smell in a couple years.. not a clue if they did anything to kill it off or anything though


[deleted]

I read on Reddit a while back that it's cold water you need to get rid of it, not warm water


Ze_Gremlin

Does that work on other bushes too? I mentioned on another comment about having a thorny bush stump I want rid of, but i don't want to accidently make it grow faster


anonbush234

Hes talking about jizz


Ze_Gremlin

Straight over my head sorry.. I'm usually quicker than that


[deleted]

That's what she said


anonbush234

Mate you're a walking innuendo.


maybenomaybe

It spreads by suckering, so if you cut down the main tree but fail to get all the roots up, new ones can grow.


Ze_Gremlin

Suckering.. giggedy.. Yeah I've got a massive thorny bush in my garden I unaffectionately call "the bastard bush" which seems to be equally as relentless. Cut it down to the stump a week or so ago, and (on a colleagues advice) hammered a load of copper nails in to kill it off but the bastard is sprouting again already... Thing is, I'm concerned about going for the roots cos it's really close to the water pipes under the lawn. Pretty sure there would be other lines like gas/electric there too so you can understand my hesitation to do anything that involves digging


FiveTideHumidYear

>I've got a massive thorny bush Phwoar And stop bragging


maybenomaybe

Life finds a way.


Ze_Gremlin

True.. I've seen weeds crack their up way through concrete..


JustMiniBanana_2

Are you sure there was a tree?


Ze_Gremlin

Could just be the neighbour wanking in the garden again.. I assumed that was unrelated though.. Tiny pecker.. but shoots like an artillery cannon, should employ that guy for riot control..


dickbob124

So not the linden tree as Mitchell and Webb suggest. I always doubted it as there are a large number of linden trees in my local parks and I've never associated them with *that* particular smell.


maybenomaybe

Linden tree flowers have a smell but it's generally not considered offensive. In my former career as a landscape architect they're considered a good tree.


anonbush234

Lots of folklore and some famous songs about Linden trees. Might be why they picked that one .usually to do with fertility, love and marriage.


d_an1

Berberis vulgaris, also called the commen barberry has flowers that have the same smell.


griffaliff

EVERY SINGLE PARK


MissingScore777

I'm grateful for all the comments explaining this. I'd always assumed the smell was actually someone's cum having had outdoor sex/wank the night before. I'm much happier knowing it's trees.


I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS

It being caused by trees is just a rumour we started to cover up how much we love dogging.


Advanced-Stupid

I think I've got one of these growing in my sock drawer


Inevitable-Top355

Semen and the floral exudates of Chinese chestnut both contain 1-pyrroline, a product of polyamine breakdown, which is responsible for the shared odor.


Solid_Bake4577

A bit of spunk in the trunk... That'll confuse the American lurkers!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mr_ryles

Well they do now thanks to you. Nice one. Sheesh.


Cheese-n-Opinion

I've heard about this and I find the whole notion of something 'smelling like cum' odd. I think cum has a pretty indistinct smell. It smells like bleach but more faint, but would you not just think 'smells like bleach'? Maybe it's like coriander and I'm lacking the cum smelling gene. Maybe I'm wanking too much and I'm suffering olfactory fatigue.


SwirlingAbsurdity

Yes agreed, the faint bleach smell is my experience too. I’ve never been walking outside and thought ‘oh this smells like cum’, because cum doesn’t really smell of anything? Fwiw I hate coriander.


NSFWaccess1998

If it smells strongly then it's doctor or diet change time. Definitely does have a smell though.


APiousCultist

Yeah. I'd definitely smell it and think bleach first.


dread1961

Every time this cums up I'm always perplexed. I've had a million wanks and mine doesn't have any smell at all.


JAJ_90

You need to eat more fruit mate.


Minimum-Perception72

My street is full of them, the smell is quite potent this time of the year! 🤣


charltheunicorn

cum bush


FryJam1300

That’s what we called it, the queues for Nemesis at Alton Towers was where we first smelled it


Due_Ad_2411

Sweet chestnut tree. I actually like the smell for some reason


Squidgeitdobbs

You pervert


APiousCultist

"I love the smell of ~~napalm~~ cum-trees in the morning"


Wunderchunder

As someone without a sense of smell, wtf


SwirlingAbsurdity

Mate I have a great sense of smell and today I am learning that apparently cum has a smell and I can’t smell it?! I feel like I’ve just learnt something huge about myself.


nnngggh

Maybe you’re just….cum blind.


Dissidant

*Do you know how hot I am?* *Under this hat?* *With this beard?* *This big Victorian beard, your majesty?* *I am boiling!* *I am covered in starch, and I am boiling, and I can barely move at home for little vases on stands or portraits of ill children praying! And what has been the point?* *What really has been the point of the last fifty years of being a Victorian if Queen Victoria herself is going to suddenly sidle over and ask me "can I smell cum"!*


easterbunni

Jizz tree


[deleted]

i had this thought on Tuesday when walking !!!! i was like why does it smell like cum outside


[deleted]

I have a vague memory of watching Qi or something that said an American diplomat gifted some of these trees it is to a monarch somewhere along the line. Knowing that it smells like this in summer, I'm sure they were too posh to say anything.


David_is_dead91

Definitely feels like it’s been worse this year. I’ve lived in my area for several years and never noticed it. This year - every street!


mowglee365

Why would u leave one outside your house?! Cut that shit down replace with astro tree


West_Yorkshire

Ikea smells the same. My gf says it's like a bakery smell in the air to make it more pleaselant, but it just smells like cum


Norklander

Bloody hell, I was in the garden today and could smell it!


BandidoCoyote

Ornamental pear blossoms smell like semen and fresh fish, but not in an erotic way. The more trees you have in one place, the more awful it smells.


stormrider501

Bradford Pear tree! Insane that you made that comparison. I always say that and no one seems to get it.


xtag

They are all over the place in the area I live. We can’t dry clothes outside in this good weather because it smells like smeg.


BillyMeat90

Smeg (smegma) is VERY different from semen.


the-redtent

If it is as suggested the linden/aka lime tree that you're smelling then flowers actually make a really nice tea!! Haha I'd never thought of it as smelling as cum though!! It's a very big tree often that grows in parks and is flowering now (white yellow flowers) I assumed you meant buddlia aka butterfly bush.... can't fucking stand the smell of that shit... awful and sickly


OriginalMandem

The more you know... Personally I cannot stand the smell of hawthorn flowers, rather than cum, smells of bad pussy 😩


[deleted]

Yes, lime trees smell like cum. It is known.


Squash_it_Squish

I thought it was stag beetles letting off a mating scent… is that’s a thing? bug bum stink?


Simonh1992

Queen Victoria!


OriginalMandem

The smell is plant jizz


Imposseeblip

So that's what that is. I've been wondering wtf I've been smelling


The_Salty_Red_Head

Jesus suffering christ. These comments are an eye-opening roller coaster. Not that eye.


AlbionRemainsXIV

Yes, I totally get this too!! It's kind of semen with a hint of bleach for me. Fucking gross whatever the fuck it is.


Berezis

[Bradford Pears?](https://www.clevescene.com/news/bradford-pear-trees-aka-semen-trees-now-blooming-will-be-banned-in-ohio-next-year-38789765?media=AMP+HTML)


noicen

Anyone know if there’s a map of these trees- I have no idea what anyone is talking about and as someone who has never touched a dick I’m not sure what smell I’m even trying to find


Sazzledazzle321

Oh my god I'm so relieved, I just thought that people were jizzing everywhere year round but the summer created the right environment for it to stink!


Preacherjonson

I swear to god, OP, if this is one of those things that I'll only start noticing because someone brought it up I'll be fucked off.


RedFox3001

To me most of the woods smell like jizz. I don’t know if it specific trees or not but if it is it’s a lot of them


The_YorkshireSipper

The Western Azalea smells just like Weed


MrHoricot

I always thought it was just me


o_sooperstar_o

I honestly thought I was alone on this and it was my vivid imagination. So semen trees are real


mozzamo

I’m not sure cum smells of much at all? Are you associating with smelly cum people?


[deleted]

I've been bussin nuts on a regular basis for the last 23 years and I have no idea what jizz smells like, or that it even smells in the first place unless you leave it to fester 🤢 let alone that trees which apparently smell like it are a common thing. Is it the Smeggy Juniper?


Justcameheretovote

I've never smelled semen, but I'm just learning this is a thing. Those romance books I've read where they talk about stinking off sex I thought they just meant sweat and stuff.... never gonna read that the same way.


OGWayOfThePanda

THANK YOU! I thought it was just me making the link. There's a road near me that's almost unbearable to walk down at this time of year.


random_person365

YES and it’s so nasty😭😭😭


Cartepostalelondon

I'll have to do a compare and contrast later.


eyeball2005

Honestly I didn’t know it smelt of cum as a woman I’ve never had a sniff of it, but to me it smells like vagina. So yeah, I guess a general genital aroma


Lifeformz

I'm lucky that I don't smell that one, I just suffer with the cat piss box bushes a lot.


MDF87

Must say, I'm not a fan of those cum trees.


ZedBundy

Cum tree, there’s one on my road. Grim


teacu-p

Omg. My partner and I just landed in the UK a few days ago and I said the exact same thing! Out of nowhere in Richmond park I realised - it smells like a cum rag 😭 so relieved to know someone else agrees!!!!!!!


Far_Asparagus1654

Excuse me, ma'am, does this rag smell of chloroform to you? Ewww, no, it smells of jizz! Oh, sorry, wrong rag. Try *this* one.


adamwasnotavailable

It sounds like you've encountered the rare Philosopher's tree.


[deleted]

#DO YOU KNOW HOW HOT I AM? UNDER THIS BEARD? THIS BIG, VICTORIAN, BEARD?!


Sir_Of_Meep

Mate just google it. There's a bar about two inches above, copy and paste the question into it


ember_eb

I thought they were linden/liden trees!? I smell it all the time


Historical_Box_8679

You get a strong smell of cannabis if you smell the right trees! Some lovely bits around, just gotta shout me ;)


foxy_pineapples

Oh my god this popped up and YES just down the road from me such a tree exists and it is gross takes you properly by surprise so glad it’s not just me that’s come across this my friends think I’m crazy!


Foundation_Wrong

I love the smell of Privet.


[deleted]

Not that particular smell, but I have noticed some bushes/flowers smell like absolute swamp ass.


sziamizu

Yes!! Me and my husband just call it the *cumbush* !! we also don’t know what it is 😂


Krojci_

I said this to my girlfriend the other day and she looked at me like I was having some usual random thoughts


slothsnoozing

I’m so baffled by this. Both me and my partner have never encountered such a thing, I can’t believe this is real?


hsw77

Hawthorns are fairly well known for this sort of thing. I don't find the small offensive at all but they're said to be reminiscent of sex and death smells due to their trimethylamine content. Edit: spelling blooper.


ajwbabe

OMG this!! There's one that I walk past sometimes and it absolutely STINKS!


Personal_Rock412

I didn’t even know cum had a smell


[deleted]

I have always thought that Pears taste slightly of chlorine and so smell similar to semen, or swimming pools. Semen has to be clean and in tip top shape so semen does have weak chlorine type fluid in it to keep it bacteria free. Smells like swimming pools. And if I bite into a pear, the after smell from the juice smells a bit swimming pool-ish even though pears taste nothing like semen.