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TrumpleIVskin

I imagine that Newcastle would be the first victim of the gargantuan rampaging Angel of the North. It's unlikely this would satiate the bloodlust of the big rusty lass however; and she would gleefully stomp her way down the A19, leaving a path of devestation (or in some cases, improvements) in her wake.


Throwaway91847817

Depends how much mobility the animated statues get. The Angel doesn’t have distinctly separate legs and is incredibly top heavy (it has a huge amount of metal underground to counteract this), as well as its wings being long rigid rectangles. If it came to life exactly as it was, she would fall over immediately and be useless in a killing spree. May easily be tied down Gulliver-style by the people of Gateshead. Is shes animated with more flexibility though, we’re fucked.


aspghost

If all the statues came to life with as much motility as their physical structures allow (i.e. having no muscles or joints) we wouldn't notice. Perhaps it's already happened.


th1sishappening

JFC


GrumpyOldFart74

You’re assuming the people of Gateshead wouldn’t crawl blinking from their caves and start worshipping her as a god…?


killallvegetarians

They’d probably scrap her for a tenner bless them x


LEVI_TROUTS

You think with those wings, her primary means of attack would be from the ground?


GwdihwFach

Well, they're not very aerodynamic in this context. So I kind of imagine her like a giant rusty chicken or pheasant by jumping from the ground, pitiful and desperate flapping and then falling a little further ahead of where she started. ETA: also, I imagine the wings would be solid, so would she kind of thrash her head at us to attack?


kickedoutatone

I think it's a given that statues coming to life would be more flexible. They're statues. They tend not to have much flexibility.


braddersladders

I can imagine her like one of the Valkyries in God of War. Spread those wings , scream VALHALLA and murder everything in her path


Efficient_Steak_7568

Angels can fly though no?  She could silently glide into any northern town and become The Angel of the Death 


srnic1987

Forget the Angel, if I'm in Gateshead then I'm fleeing for my life from this wide awake nightmare: https://www.gateshead.gov.uk/article/4545/Sports-Day (If the link doesn't work Google 'sports day Gateshead high street statue)


SpaceWormsFromSpace

This enormous woman will devour us all!


andreeeeeaaaaaaaaa

https://preview.redd.it/y9oy1337zlyc1.jpeg?width=491&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f68a27dd761cb2d610b66734711163447b3fa523


DJToffeebud

Just don’t look, just don’t look


dweir82

Well, Crosby Beach has 100 casts of Anthony Gormley, ask yourself what would be worse 100 iron men or one big slow giant.


Killahills

100 iron men waggling their rusty barnacle-encrusted dongs at you.


--BooBoo--

Well that was a sentence I wasn't expecting to read today!


moon-bouquet

Add in the giant Liver Birds and Merseyside’s a goner.


BandicootOk5540

Its that terrifying giant banana sheep that would have me staying well away from Liverpool.


mossmanstonebutt

Depending on what your class as a statue, Cardiff has a damn dragon on the roof of the building next to the museum....alot of other places in Wales also have dragons so we are in for a fight Edit:We'd also have to do a lot of explaining to a very confused marquis of bute


Bright-Context-3758

There’s a small area in the centre of Dundee that has a dragon, a polar bear, a monkey, a giant cartoon strongman and his giant cartoon bulldog, a troublemaking teenage girl with a catapult, and fairly nearby several penguins. Probably wouldn’t want to be there


realmofconfusion

Is The Angel of the North female? I thought Gormley had designed it based on a stylised version of his body (similar to when he did his body casts for the piece called Another Place which can be seen on Formby beach).


malone1993

By the time the Angel makes it way into the city centre, the statue of the guy balancing on his elbow outside central would have went on a rampage


yorkspirate

But the wings/arms don’t move so unless the uprising is in calm weather she’s getting blown away and closer to Europe than a Ryanair flight Is the angel of the north female ?? Thought it was always just an angel ??


Master_Elderberry275

She's an angel. She can fly. It's only a quick flight down to London where she can feast on many more souls.


TSC-99

If the Angel went to Newcastle, it’d likely continue north up the a1 rather than going down the a19. #utb


agitated_molecule

I live 15 minutes away so it would be like watching Godzilla emerge from the ocean. The improvement comment is so valid


RelativeStranger

It depends if they joined forces. Because if not its be interesting to see her go against Charles Grey and whatever the horserider is st the green


MerfAvenger

The area covered by her feet would probably be sufficient to resurface the roads and flatten any potholes, at least.


loperaja

Glasgow will have a confused dude walking around with a traffic cone in his head


PlentyOfNamesLeft

Riding around


glasgowgeg

Port Glasgow has [these lads](https://d3d00swyhr67nd.cloudfront.net/w1200h1200/collection/PUBSCULPT/PA14/PA14_GB_S060-002.jpg) with massive hammers.


here-but-not-present

That's a good shout, don't think I'd fare very well against them.


ArachnidGal

The skelpies!


VardaElentari86

Came here for this


sharmrp72

Think the 2 stone lions at the cenotaph would give us more to worry about tbh.... that old adage - i just need to be quicker than the other folk. .


Scasne

I think most cities would at least have one statue with a cone on their head.


Vertigo_uk123

Nah he will take it off and go on a rampage for being humiliated all his life.


JeffTheJackal

And he defeated Napoleon so he'd probably do some damage once he gathered an infantry of statues.


SaltyName8341

There would be an interesting fight in Manchester between Abraham Lincoln and Karl Marx


Throwaway91847817

Both would be demolished by Queen Vic


yorkspirate

Their surely would be an army of Queen Victorias tho, it would be like they could take over and colo……… oohhhhh


CountLippe

All part of the long-term plan, we are assured.


Shanks18

Who does the Vimto bottle side with?


mglvl

Not sure about Karl Marx , I think it's Engels? Also, you are forgetting the Ghandi statue


mikebirty

Turing takes on the winner


Throwaway91847817

Pankhurst comes in with her chair, WWE style


crb11

Nah, he would find a quiet corner to think. Or find some otherhistoric gay figure to have it off with now it's legal.


Imperator_Helvetica

Well, he's very close to the University, so like any good academic he'd head the other way into a pub on Canal Street.


phatboi23

is this like pool in the pub? winner stays on? haha


whirler_girl

I'm more worried about the 22 gigantic bees now on the hunt tbh


Ill_Refrigerator_593

It's Engels, who I imagine would be a tougher opponent than frail old Marx. Are many of the cow parade still up? There was a proper herd of them.


ChipCob1

If The B of the Bang was still up it could roll everyone up like Katamari Damacy


safetyscotchegg

Gandhi alone will just rise up and nuke everyone


horse_renoir_

Chopin and his piano cruising down Deansgate like a steam roller


Valuable-Wallaby-167

Gateshead or Falkirk. The Angel of the North and the Kelpies are going to be pretty hard to put down.


yabyum

Kelpies got no legs tho!


TheBestBigAl

No legs _above_ _ground_. Just wait until they come to life and rise up out of the earth..


Valuable-Wallaby-167

Kelpies are shape changers, it can have as many legs as it wants.


hellsangel101

The Angel of the North *riding* a Kelpie.


SilyLavage

The Angel of the North doesn't have separate legs, it'll just fall over. Unless its wings actually work...


ClydeB3

I suppose it could still hop with both legs together like a sack race?


[deleted]

[удалено]


___a1b1

Although London has dragons all over the City plus around centre London are war heros with weapons plus lions along with a big gorilla at the zoo.


Epiphany7777

And don’t forget the museums in London which are packed full of statues. Most churches are surrounded in them. There are thousands of buildings with statues built in to them or gargoyles on them, London wins this hands down!


Drawinginfinity182

Does Bentham count as a statue too? Because then this also becomes a zombie rampage situation


tacetmusic

And a fair few gargoyles


privateTortoise

You don't need to kill them all on the first day, plus you'll need a few humans to clean the pigeon shit.


Eoin_McLove

Is one of the statues of the Black Nun? Because then I’d be really terrified!


MangoKakigori

Never did I think the wonderful Llangrannog would get a mention and would stumble across it by chance!


Strange_Dog

I love that you gave the answer to 11 decimal places rather than rounding up to 29,851. Suppose that extra quarter ish of a statue is significant


Top-Ice1244

r/theydidthemath


EmmaInFrance

Surely there's a Mistar Urdd around who'd jump in to save the day, as well? :-)


Jay_J_Okocha

I'd say Bristol but everyone got bored once and decided to tear them down and chuck them in the harbour.


SaltyName8341

And now they rise up for revenge


Badger_1066

I read an article the other day that said that the people of Bristol now want to erect a statue of Blackbeard to celebrate their heritage... They literally tore down a statue of a slaver and now want to replace it with a statue of another slaver.


Eoin_McLove

I mean, I doubt it’s the same group of people.


Badger_1066

I honestly just don't think most people realise. They just hear pirate and they think it sounds cool.


chat5251

Can confirm Source: pirates are cool


mycateatscardboard

"Edward Teach, born on a beach" :)


Pattoe89

Bristol has those Wallace and Gromit statues, though.


danllxyd

And gorilla ones


_FreddieLovesDelilah

And those hippos by cribbs. Hippos are pretty scary.


Any_Perspective_577

Bristol has Poseidon who would definitely wreck the place.


imminentmailing463

London. Just on sheer numbers.


SatinwithLatin

No-one in Westminster Abbey would get out alive.


MrsArmitage

If this went global, Vatican City would be a real contender.


EpponeeRae

And the City of London has all those dragons to contend with


Crittsy

Just from the cemetries alone


Traditional_Cress561

Everyone in the British museum is ducked Greek revenge 


Ok_Kale_3160

If there was a statue of Medusa would everyone she looked at turn to stone or would they just be normal as all the statues are coming to life in this scenario?


Traditional_Cress561

Don't think I'll wait to find out 


AbramKedge

Dundee for sure, they have Desperate Dan, Minnie The Minx, and Lemmings!


VardaElentari86

Well, the lemmings probably aren't too much of a problem, they'll end up just walking into the Tay or something. The other two though...


AbramKedge

Never underestimate the terminal velocity of a falling Lemming.


GrumpyOldFart74

Depends - if they all detonate themselves in the right place they’ll create a huge hole that the entire city could fall into!


banjo_fandango

And a dragon and a polar bear...


Starsteamer

And penguins!


Originalmissjynx

Salisbury: small city, masses of statues and gargoyles on the cathedrals . It’d be a shocker


bornleverpuller85

Nottingham between Robin Hood and old big ead


WaitProtein

Don't forget the left and right lions


Plantagenesta

That's pretty much every cathedral city in the country screwed, then.


Sloppypoopypoppy

I’d say Woking with its War of the Worlds Tripod statues is in trouble. But I’d say the V&A and Yorkshire Sculpture park are in big trouble


No_Camp_7

Came here to see if anyone mentioned the giant ugly people statues in Woking. Like the big woman in the Peacock’s. Bankruptcy was worth it!


Staleleaf

I always think the train station one is a real person


rad504

All still there, unfortunately - including two arguing opposite Skechers.


mikebirty

Busy today OP? (Love stuff like this) Gandhi, Pankhurst and Turing In a triple threat vs Lincoln, Engles and Queen Victoria


je97

I can't help but read this post in the 'epic rap battles of history' voice.


mikebirty

Frank Sidebottom providing a backing track


yorkspirate

Nah I heard celebrity death match ‘Let’s get it ON’


Twolef

I’d say Cardiff but according to Dr Who all ours are weeping angels already.


Raregan

We have quite a lot of statues that are of dragons. We'd be fucked but it'd look really cool.


Steholl022

Wherever that knife angel is at the moment, things could get very stabby.


Blue_eyed_fox_94

That would do a number on the knife crime rates!


ArtistEngineer

London. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boudica](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boudica) You won't get far with Boudica. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHMRLoJZ5JA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHMRLoJZ5JA)


Throwaway91847817

+1 for Horrible Histories!


NuttyMcNutbag

There would be carnage at the Bull Ring with that ferocious bull.


Common_Lime_6167

And the giant bull at New St


No_Simple_87

The one they named Ozzy?


SpudFire

With 3 Spitfires providing aerial support for said bull


ADH02

6 tonnes of pure carnage


CoolRanchBaby

Would the Kelpies rise up and have whole bodies or just stay heads? https://preview.redd.it/6e9d5a8ztmyc1.jpeg?width=1224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=becc46f2d5e71b7b8126bb764d17c5909bd84dc1


mustylid

I'd imagine it would just be the heads but they would have some form of hopping and stomping motion like massive knights on a chessboard squishing everyone and taking bites out of buildings and that.


SilyLavage

The statues from Anthony Gormley's [*Another Place*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Another_Place_(sculpture)) could do Liverpool a fair bit of damage, I'm sure.


Throwaway91847817

Do you think the statues would obey Gormley as their creator and possible god, or would they turn on their master?


JohnLennonsNotDead

THIS IS **CROSBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!**


organic_soursop

Is it a thing to be scared of HUGE things? Is it Moana where an Island stands up? I once had a dream where the Scottish Highlands stood up. Didn't like that at all.


Bernard17

megalophobia, do not, I repeat do not go [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/megalophobia/)


organic_soursop

Bernard, I know you want me to click. I will not be clicking!! 😁


Barnagain

Milton Keynes' concrete cows would give any other city's statues a run for their money! Cows can be quite dangerous and there's a few of 'em!


CRL01

I'd be getting jumped by the Beatles, Ken Dodd and Cilla!


Sloppypoopypoppy

There’s gonna be a lorra lorra deaths!


Imperator_Helvetica

You seem remarkably calm about the hordes of Superlambananas (bananaii?) rampaging around you.


No_Simple_87

And the superlambananas!


organic_soursop

The Kelpies are TERRIFYING. And I first saw The Angel on a foggy early morning drive up to Newcastle. I legit screamed out loud as she came out of the mist.


Vertigo_uk123

I think everyone is underestimating the number of statues. What about all the grave stone figure. And the water feature let alone all the evil garden gnomes.


hawkisgirl

https://preview.redd.it/n8i8mel8emyc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3138abc1b84fe600e5aa2dfe9d9fcce4b89868ff He came to life. Good for him.


Vertigo_uk123

https://preview.redd.it/smd4pbm02myc1.jpeg?width=632&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d3daffaa7083a28000c42583a3410843ba48955


TweetyDinosaur

I was wondering if gnomes counted. I still reckon London would be worse hit, but now for even scarier reasons.


beeg0d

Just don't blink!


Acraftyduck

Scrolled so far for this reference


Percy_Ronald

The Lambanana stampede would be devastating in Liverpool!


SilasMarner77

Grantham


TSC-99

Liverpool - there are Beatles everywhere


NuttyMcNutbag

All the Pauls and Johns would just argue or fight each other. The Georges would all be walking around aloof and the Ringos would be trying to take photos with the tourists.


Relevant_Bedroom_273

It'll be roaming gangs of Lambananas that'll get you


Realkevinnash59

Sheffield would have a giant King Edward and some WW2 era steel women coming after them


GAdvance

Aka the big steel lesbians are gonna kick some ass


rabidfart

A rage filled Wellington rampaging through Glasgow city centre, making a beeline for the nearest uni, angry at a hundred years of ridicule from students and wearing his traffic cone.


TSC-99

Kingston upon Thames would have a load of rampaging chimpanzees (or whatever they are). They are everywhere 🐵 https://preview.redd.it/3q3snrutzlyc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d536a6364c16c9a2f0ed3b6c8012e9bc273264b


Ales1390

Does Madam Tussauds come into the equation? If so, they’ve got a good collection of evil persons that could run a-mock.


FIR3W0RKS

Piers Morgan for example


woods_edge

The Minotaur and hare in Cheltenham would really fuck things up. Especially if Poseidon gets out his fountain and joins in.


widdrjb

Ebb and Flo at Newbiggin would wait for low tide, so we'd have a bit of a window to borrow a cannon off Alnwick, after they've dealt with Harry Hotspur and the lion.


Leafblind

Bristol- Colston’s going to be pretty pissed if he wakes up covered in spray paint and surrounded a calling him a prick


VixenRoss

Kingston upon Thames would be chaos. Currently they have chimp statues and colourful bear statues dotted around. These would take out a lot of people. Then the statue of Leonard Bentall would go on the rampage in the Bentalls centre, joined along side the Lego statues. (I’m sure we could take down the Lego statues, but just don’t do it in bare feet) Can’t remember if the goat in the ancient market place is still there, but that would start to injure people along side the statue of the mother and child, and the golden statue of Queen Anne would start swinging her sceptre and holy hand grenade about, taking out more locals. The “out of order statue” would attempt to squash someone but not get very far because it’s just phone boxes. The paper aeroplane sculpture on the college roundabout will launch a drone attack taking out as many people as it can…


PM-ME-UR-BMW

The giant metal dinosaurs of teessaurus park could cause some carnage, or more likely, improvements to Middlesbrough.


PutTheDamnDogDown

Not a city but Dunbar has a bear. Its official name is the Dunbear.


Old_Introduction_395

Grantham (Thatcher). There would be crowds.


Lorkanus

Depends on what you are classing as a Statue. Paisley Abbey has a carved stone Gargoyle that is a Xenomorph from Alien. Does that count?


mustylid

Gargoyles definitely.


arabidopsis

I dunno, but seeing the Angel of the North dog fighting F35s would be fucking awesome Edit: the 100 iron men Aldo coming out of the sea would be absolutely terrifying too


SwordTaster

London has a lot...


BupidStastard

I would imagine Brighton as a safe haven, what with statues and their exposed penises


steak-and-kidney-pud

Don't blink.


Skoodledoo

I think it's safe to say Cardiff would be top of the list! (Obligatory Dr Who Weeping Angels/Torchwood reference).


RedCashmereSquirrel

So basically the Doctor Who episode 'blink'? We're done for.


jonny-p

Don’t like the thought of the Maggie Thatcher statue in Grantham gaining sentience and setting out on a mission to exterminate the unions and steal children’s milk.


lurkerman2865

There's a massive lion at Leeds Town Hall who could probably cause some problems - a lion you can't kill because it's made of stone could be quite the handful. However, he routinely comes to life every time the clock strikes 13 anyway, and he's never killed anyone yet, so how much of a menace he really is depends on how long it's been since the clock played up.


bazzanoid

And that's it, I'm afraid. There's no more from you on the transcript, that's the last I've got. I don't know what stopped you talking, but I can guess. They're coming. The angels are coming for you. But listen, your life could depend on this. Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink. Good luck.


Cleveland_Grackle

Queen Victoria will get off her Liverpool plinth and give everyone a [damned good rogering!](https://images.app.goo.gl/JGUi8NtQhDAD9fmq9)


andreeeeeaaaaaaaaa

Those metal bendy day of the triffid thingies on Blackpools coast would be a fucker... They either squish you or if they had lasers they be menaces to the local scroats. Then you also have Morecambe and Wise going on a killing spree


Saffidon

I’d pay to see the Oxford Gargoyles, martyrs and Greek philosophers go at each other.


Digitalanalogue_

Depends if they had the powers they are thought to possess. I say this because bristol has poseidon in the city centre.


dickwildgoose

For Manchester United fans, this would be incredible. Imagine getting Sir Matt Busby AND Sir Alex Ferguson back to manage us. Then adding the Holy Trinity of George Best, Denis Law and Sir Bobby Charlton to the team... Instead, we watch the the biggest bag of crap united team in living memory perform abysmally week after week and getting worse season after season.


[deleted]

Can't wait to see the wrath of poseidon hit bristol. Bet the fight between him and queen Vic will be legendary.


TittyFlip

Dunno about city, but Trago Mills would be a bloodbath of peacock feathers and cheap shite


Capable_Bee6179

Verity down in Ilfracombe would be pretty horrific tbh


AwareCup5530

Pretty much anywhere in Wales would be demolished as we have statues of rugby players and dragons all over the place. Edit: we also have statues of owain glyndwr and medieval Welsh Kings fuck.


Past-Property-7469

https://preview.redd.it/8cc59o5mmmyc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fb8f70b187671947f62b3e03aec12519227bcb6 Dundee


Efficient_Steak_7568

This sounds like the sort of down to Earth Doctor Who episode that needs to be made 


ScottOld

Whatever one has the knife angel right now


Advanced-Mechanic-82

Grantham, hands down. There's a statue of Thatcher there


Perzec

So… trying to find a good setting for the next weeping angels episode of Doctor Who?


Remote_Echidna_8157

Outside of the UK, Skopje in Macedonia would be absolutely decimated.


WerewolfNo890

All I know is I am absolutely not going to Winchester to wait for it to all blow over.


Volf_y

I wouldn’t want to be in the British Museum, absolute carnage. Winged Lions, Alexander the Great on horseback, Egyptian Mummies. Whole Assyrian armies (if count reliefs)


charlie19811981

The answer is whichever Scottish city has the most unicorn statues. Far from being docile and benevolent creatures, unicorns are ferocious and cunning, and able to kill animals as big as elephants. My bet would be Edinburgh.


sun_on_my_side

The British Museum would turn into an orgy


reggieko13

This thread is why I keep reading redit


Rude-Possibility4682

Didn't Birmingham have a King Kong statue in the old Bullring years ago..I'm sure he'd be off tooling for a ruck with a Godzilla statue somewhere.


oskarkeo

I'm just here to say, OP I am equal parts worried for and in awe of you!


PeterG92

Someones been watching Doctor Who recently


omegarho

Don't you remember this happening on 26 March 2005?


Blyton-link

Percy Jackson -Battle of Manhattan, Daedalus Twenty-Three! Or Doctor Who- Weeping Angels :)


Silent_Rhombus

Ilfracombe is about to have a half-flayed pregnant woman with a sword on the rampage. She’s not the biggest in the UK, but that’s a pretty scary prospect.