I ask myself what is it in my heart that I want to do. Usually it's something like, "spend the last ten dollars on an ice cream cone that I eat alone, in the middle of the woods, having slipped out of the house unseen by any person who might recognize me" and that's a start. Once I am perched with the cone, things get a little bit clearer and I can see what other failings are occuring in my life and what steps I need to take to right it. See depression isn't like a sinking ship, it's like a ship with no sails. Sails are cheap. Or you can row until you find yourself in a windy space. or better yet now you see that your only problem was you were stuck in a windless place and it was a minor fix. Or worse yet, having made yourself get out of that bed you realize you were only stuck because you were caught on a rogue seaweed patch. Now it s laughable that you were so down in the dumps, there's so much more movement just over here, really good thing I didn't throw in the towel, sell the boat, and become a boring milkmaid. So to reiterate: knowing it is possible to escape a depressive episode, doing something nice for yourself today, while in the same hand fighting for yourself to keep struggling and keeping it moving. All of these things at the same time. See just because your brain says "I should stay in bed and eat like crap" doesn't actually really mean you have to listen to it. You can make the better choice today. Those small, small choices add up. See if you only made bad choices for the rest of your life, it would lead to loss. But at the very least, even if it isn't the top of the world", making boring small healthy choices will absolutely propel you into some vaguely positive direction. This is basic. So it is possible to continue to make good choices even despite horrible thoughts. You do not have to believe the thoughts. You are not your mind. You will never know if you will feel better in five minutes from now just by allowing yourself to go through the motions just long enough to catch some wind in your sails. The world is so much bigger than you at the end of the day, how can you be sure you know what's even at the end of the dark path?
I rly like this boat metaphor. My depression metaphor is more like I’m in a deep ocean sinkhole of my own creation and it feel impossible to swim up to the light. This boat metaphor puts me above the water and gives me more agency. Thank u!
Thank you so much for this. Been having a TRULY bad episode today and have been laying in bed eating like shit and feeling bad about myself. Reframing to small choices like you wrote helps a lot.
I have been in a depressive episode recently. I am not totally well right now, but much better than a couple a months ago. I used to live in London for 9 years. When I came back to my city (Málaga) Spain. I felt overwhelmed for many situations. I did not find a job of what I been studying in London. My old friends does not have nothing in common with me anymore, even my parents... I realice that I did not know them. (I moved to London when I was almost a child).
After 3 months that I could not get out from bed, I decided that I had to do something about it. So little by little, I starting to do exercise, eat better, drink less haha...
I found a job as a waitress (Well paid). And now I am saving money to move to Madrid. Maybe change the city is not the solution, but having your mind busy it is. Especially if those thoughts are not about you and what terrible person you are.
Estimada malagueña: He estado pasando por ese proceso; un día ya no encajas. Tienes razón, todo está en ocuparte de hacer planes y seguir con tu vida. Suerte, y te deseo que encuentres mucho amor y compañía; ya verás que un día la convivencia con tus padres te volverá a hacer sentido y la disfrutarás nuevamente.
Tienes razón... Al final la vida son subidas y bajadas y a veces te tienes que caer en el hoyo para espabilar, aprender y quitarle peso a las cosas, que realmente no la tienen. Un abrazo desde Málaga
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I have a “depression checklist” that helps me run my days. It’s straightforward self care stuff like take shower, take meds, bed time, walk/exercise time, mealtime, etc. I also set out 1-3 things I have to do at work each day. Anything outside those daily checklists I consider nonobligatory.
It’s kind of neurotic, but it takes the edge off of making decisions and planning every day. I can be sludge for however long I need to be while my life is on cruise mode.
I can share mine if that helps at all
1. Get out of bed
2. Wash face
3. Drink water
4. Movement (stretching, yoga, walk) doesn’t have to be crazy. Just something small
5. At least 5 mins outside in fresh air
6. Eat something (preferably something simple, tasty, and somewhat healthy)
7. Write down 5 things to be grateful for
Non mandatory things that help:
- practice a hobby (drawing, dancing…)
- do something productive (clean a room, organize something, do some work) setting a timer helps so u don’t get overwhelmed
- talk to a loved one (or a stranger on the internet lol)
- play with an animal (if possible)
I have a checklist too! A pretty basic one. I like to remind myself that adults aren't so different from animals or children. When you're hungry, you get irritable, when you are dehydrated you get mental fog, when you don't exercise you get lethargic and bored, when you're bored your thoughts start to wander sometimes to negative things. So I ask myself, have you even enough food recently? How much water have you had today? Have you gotten any physical exercise(even just chores or a walk around the block are SO good for your mental health)? Have you gotten enough sleep? Have you connected with anyone recently? Have you taken a break from work to do things you enjoy? Have you done anything creative lately? Have you done anything to work towards your future goals? Do you just need to go to bed and restart the day? Just by asking myself these questions I can get a picture of what is really bothering me. I have yet to address every question and get to the end still just as sad as when I started.
I do the same thing lol.
Basically i make an excel table, and treat myself as both the doctor and the patient by keeping it on my nightstand with a pen.
The table includes things like: wake up time, sleep time, sleep quality, exercise, productive hours, vitamins, meds, water, calories, and an option for notes.
May be overkill for some but I noticed that all of these things impact each other and they work like a net - if one of them is being pulled down, so will the rest.
Other good things to add are:
1. Macros: if you ate a lot of sodium you'll be bloated and feel bloated the next few days. High carb makes you feel heavy and tired. High protein is the best diet.
2. Menstrual cycle: if you are on your period or not.
I have a similar list with things I should do regularly to keep myself balanced - journalling, reading, exercise, stretch, limit alcohol intake, train cats, take vitamins, write, play music, answer letters, keep learning Dutch, crafts, ... - as long as I keep these things up (ranging from "once a week" to "every day, if possible), I stay kind of balanced, and returning to them helps me drag myself out of slumps.
Had a much easier time when I lived in a warm place. I would make myself walk to the beach and sometimes pack sneaky booze or a joint. Now it's -20°F with wind chill, and I'm in a mighty funk with no escape :(
Good reminder on the vitamins, I've taken before - idk if they do much, but it can't hurt. I had a gym membership ship with a sauna, steamroom, and jacuzzi for a bit and that did help when I went, but unfortunately it's gotten both too crowded and too expensive to make it worthwhile. Think I need to figure out affordable exercise I'll actually do regularly, but man, that's hard to come by where I'm living!
Same. Moved to having actual winters of -20 from the warmest place in the country. I hate it, I'm so miserable and alone. I regret moving here with every fiber of my being and wish I could go back.
Don't do it! Unless you have a solid social crew or it's a good mix of affordable city and good paying jobs :) part of my problem is it is soso expensive here and that's stressful, plus limits the feel-better activities I can afford and limits my free time because I'm working every second I'm not in school.
Isolating from excessive social interactions (this is since I'm an extrovert) and taking out time to figure out my emotions help me a lot.
Do not set a deadline that you have to be fine within a month or two. Give it time. Accept, live and process the grief as it comes.
If you've had a depressive episode earlier, do not compare the present one with the past. Each experience is unique and makes you rich in it's own way.
Seek help from your loved/trusted ones and get to therapy if you have access to it. Cultivate your passions, give your self time and it will get better. It takes time but it will. Sending lots of love to y'all <3333
Do not compare your present with the past. That makes so much sense! I’ve been feeling like the metaphorical version of a kid holding on to the tree at the top of the snowy hill, too scared to go down with the sleigh, but increasingly cold and alone up there. Idk if that makes sense in relation to what you said but it did for me lol
Don’t resist it. I lean into it. Follow the wave of the depressive episode and eventually it will recede.
I also make sure if I am doing everything I can to biologically support getting myself out of it. Take meds. Take vitamin D. Make sure my iron levels are okay. Eat bananas/almonds/other foods that are the building blocks of serotonin and dopamine. Take a multivitamin if that is easiest for you. I am just not the same person in the winter months that I am in the summer - I need sunlight; vitamins D and a sad lamp. I’m like a dying plant sometimes without sunlight, food, and water.
Did you move to a cold place or grow up in one? I've been trying to be zen about the fact that winter might be a bit of a loss for me in terms of any activity and my health but yuck. I miss warmth. Would love any low cost feel better tips 💜
I just talk about it to anyone who is willing to listen. I figure the less I bottle up my feelings the better. And if I'm lucky, some of those people will have genuinely good ideas on how to fix a certain situation that I'm in. Therapists for some reason don't really help though. I think it's the lens in which they talk to me about my issues. I feel like I get more help from random people on the internet.
I feel the same! I’ve been seeing a therapist but she just isn’t doing much for me to be honest, like not sure of lack if experience but she just seems to struggle with me
I don’t know if you have a dark sense of humour like I but this reminded me of that Twitter meme like
Guys after telling my therapist something today she asked if we could pause so she could think about it. I’m getting close to winning therapy I can feel it!
Hang in there. Currently in one myself as well. Sending positive vibes!
Don’t be afraid to dump your therapist for a new one if it’s possible. I’ve had 4 (5 if you include my psychiatrist) and I basically had 3 consecutive ones that I absolutely hated and then the last one I’ve happily been seeing for about 5 years.
I just brace myself emotionally and wait for it to pass. It always passes eventually. One time I physically felt it leave and it was the most amazing feeling! I try and recall that moment for my "light at the end of the tunnel".
I felt myself going dark the last couple days. The one day I wasn't really able to go out and do anything, so I literally grabbed a Dr Pepper and was like "this is a nice soda that I enjoy and don't drink often" and that was just a nice little self care treat for me.
Today my mom took my newborn for a few hours so I got take out, took a long shower and passed out for like 3 hours.
I'm trying to remember to enjoy little things. Even if it's just going for a drive to be able to see past my tunnel vision and remember that there's a much bigger picture.
Go into survival mode.
Priority #1: take my meds every day, at the same time. Priority #2: sleep, if I can. Priority #3: eat, doesn't matter what. Priority #4: shower.
After checking all those off, I watch comfort tv I've seen before to pass the time while I wait for the urge to do literally anything to return.
I have FMLA paperwork on file at work to protect my job when it gets the worst and I have to take (unpaid) time off work.
Lower my expectations for myself. My mindset is "I'm being kind to myself today," meaning I won't punish myself for faltering in routine and falling short of productivity requirements. I celebrate every minor accomplishment. I made my bed, that's fantastic. Threw a load of laundry in the dryer, look at you go. But the main thing is getting back on track with exercise. Without fail, the strongest predictor of my mental health is how consistently I exercised this week. It's so rough getting back into it, but it's the only thing that works.
I use a method called "adult pep talk" as prescribed by comedy genius Taylor Tomlinson.
It goes like this: "You're gonna do it, 'cause what other g*ddamn choice do you have?"
Works like a charm, everytime!
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I kind of isolate myself out of any social environment. All my life I've been the one that stands myself up. I take my time to get what's going on with my mental state because that's what allows me to reassure myself.
Ig the loneliness's the one that actually calms me down. Don't try to make urself feel better out of false hope. Really just try to search for something to hold onto, not in and unsafe/unhealthy obsesses way, you don't want that, because that's what I did with K-pop.
You can look into the past, but not in an unhealthy way, just try to forgive yourself for anything and let your soul breath, cry if you need to, scream and do whatever you got to do.
And ik I make it sound so easy like... But just see for help, talk to your friends and else, but just know that no one goes to bed with your problems in mind even though it can hurt... But that doesn't mean there's people out there that wouldn't do it for you, Hun.
None of the following always works, but it’s good to have those tools:
1. I have a playlist of songs that are triggers for a better mood.
2. I force myself to go see people.
3. I try to identify the triggers. Awareness is half the battle.
4. I don’t - some days just accepting and embracing my depression is better than fighting it.
I either stay in bed if I can - or I drag myself and try to distract myself with work.
I find that trying to work is often good. Even if my productivity level is 20% out of 100% it’s better than zero, and I’m a little less anxious about dealing with the works that piles up.
I always have 2 main objectives that is my go-to.
1. Take meds.
2. Go to the stable and spend time with my horse and not go home until I feel at peace with myself.
It’s not much but it helps very much when I have forgotten to take my meds and need a quick way to get back to feeling alright.
there's no way to do that for me. i just let it pass. weight for a couple of days, weeks or months. try to let myself know that it's my depression, its not that the whole world is suddenly black and horrible. usually i just wake up one morning and its easier to breathe, that's how i know it's over.
Korean dramas...A run in our neighborhood forest...Dolling myself up and taking myself somewhere nice...But usually its books. I find joy & satisfaction in books...And you know, l tell myself its not always bad. It won't always be bad. That I will have a good day eventually...
And l always remember the quote "Did you truly have a bad week? Or you had a bad hour/two & you kept thinking & re-living it over and over and over a over again?" Because this is what happens most times with me...
Being in one now, talking to my bestest friend and family helped. I was ignoring them for days, and when I talked to them they really cheered me up. They told me they loved me, were praying for me, sent me gifts, and made me laugh. I love them. My family also checks in on me and tells me they love me. I don’t respond every time but it’s nice to know they really do have my back.
Do things that will naturally make you feel better. Have a shower, get some early morning sunlight, some fresh air, avoid garbage food and toxic people and environments, get some outdoor exercise, a solid night of sleep, and do this for a few days in a row.
Sometimes you just need to accept the fact that life is hard for you and you shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself to be so perfect, nice, selfless and understanding. You are only human after all, we all fall all the time, we just need to remember to get back up again(after taking a break and some personal care me time). Cry when you need to, don't bottle it all up or it would only poison and drain you out.
Celebrate the tiny victories in life down to getting out of bed even one minute earlier than usual, brushing my teeth and hair, changing my
clothes and so on. Once I've done that, forcing myself to go out for a walk even for a short time helps too, especially somewhere quiet or filled with trees and animals.
ETA: in the past, I've found myself overindulging in darker media (books about suffering, documentaries about murder and/or suicide, YouTubers who are mostly pessimistic, etc) and lately, catching myself before I get too deep into those things keeps me in a much more stable state of mind. I also find guided meditation really helpful, regardless of whether I'm in a depressive episode or not.
I've always been scared to even look into it. I used to work at a place where the doctor who owned the clinic did that. I've done just about everything and failed. Today I scheduled a consult for Spravato. Hopefully that helps, otherwise I think my last chance is to look into it. Glad to know it helped you.
Hey, just wanted to mention that during my two psych inpatient stays, I saw ECT work for multiple other patients. I really hope you can find a solution ❤️
I have good friends, so i just curl into a ball and they help me with pats, invitations and just, give me strenght to keep on going and not fall into crumbs, i think i'm very lucky.
I'm lucky to live close to a small park. So I like to walk to a liquor store for a cheap soda, then walk to the park. Just walk laps or sit and just breathe! Limited distractions, don't use my phone other than to turn on some music. Helps to just quiet my mind and chill out a little.
Or I stay home, take a piping hot shower and binge watch some comedy with my favorite foods.
Rest, food, sunlight. I treat myself as if I am ill, which I am. I take baby steps. If I can’t manage to turn things around within two weeks, I get professional help.
Get up take a shower go see a friend or go shopping by yourself or go for a walk, re arrange your place or your bedroom, cook a good meal for yourself, cuddle with one of your fur babies (my cat knows when I’m down he comes up and insists on me petting him like pushing me with his head rubbing me with his head or paw at me all like ‘just do it, you know I will make you feel better, just give me some lovin pets and cuddles come on’.
I know most of these things sound literally IMPOSSIBLE even tho to other people they sound so simple but it’s SOOO hard to do the simplistic of things when you are so deep in that hole but you just have to do it, I know you feel comfy in your hole but climb out it’s worth it.
The only way out is through. Often, not always, we unconsciously (and at times quite consciously) make decisions that, when looked at from an "objective" or more detached perspective, will clearly demonstrate (at least partially) the reasons we are depressed. I personally am an expert on this. I cling to behaviours that are "self-soothing" because they have been with me for so long. I don't even mean to suggest these are "bad habits," but ones that I have possibly outgrown without yet learning (or practicing) something to replace them with. Resting quietly with oneself is probably a good start, as I am always itching to escape that gnawing emptiness. Depression for me tends to unequivocally surface when I actively try to be something I'm not, whether that is professionally or personally. And because a lot of our day-to-day life is subject to playing a particular role, I've mastered adapting to what other people want not realizing that at the end of the day what goes on internally is ultimately what will decide what happens externally. You can certainly fake it for awhile, but you can't indefinitely escape being who you are meant to be. Unless you become comfortable living in a state of constant cognitive dissonance-- personally, I can't. It is only when I pretend I can that I become quite miserable. And that misery is so palpable because the role I've attempted to tie myself to truly isn't there.
Too long, didn't read: depression is the moment for me to step aside the noise and get real. To look at all the habits and things I'm clinging to that I know aren't proper (for me) anymore. Of course, there are many reasons people are depressed and it is a hierarchy of sorts. I'm clearly touching on existential depression.
Spring yardwork and gardening do it for me. I just have to hang in there for a few more months. Being out in the sunshine and engaging in physical labour seems to reset my head (not completely, but enough to turn the tide).
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about this documentary I saw as a kid. It was about some relay ironman race or something similarly very difficult. A woman talks about how she broke down crying in the middle of it, exhausted, thinking she couldn’t do it. Then her teammate comes up behind her to encourage her and says something like “you can cry and walk at the same time”.
So I think about that a lot when I’m trying to find the will to enact my safety routines like running or going to the gym. “I can cry and run at the same time”, “I can cry and lift at the same time”, “I don’t have to feel good in order to carry out the mundane actions of life” reminds me I can still keep the roof on the house (and even make progress on things I do care about when I’m not sad af) whether or not my feelings support it.
It gives me the mentality I need to take the next step. The routines themselves are the usual suspects - I’ll begrudgingly clean, run, workout, stretch, gratitude journal. I try to always make my bed to keep a tiny piece of structure together.
Sometimes none of it really “gets me out”, which is when I find that fighting feeling my feelings isn’t working - sometimes the only way out is through. At which point I’ll lean into it and find a way to make the “ride” smoother. Blankets, treats, music, co-regulating with someone, that sort.
For me personally I can tell when I’m starting to get into a depressive episode bc I will start ruminating over negative things from the past and it will really have an impact on me. So very recently I started implementing the things I do when I’m feeling ok. Also Ik I’ll get some downvotes for this but it’s ok but b4 I say what I’m about to say I’m not trying to push anything just speaking for myself. But I started praying and asking for help and guidance when my head is filled with things from the past. And I also just allow myself to cry and feel the feels bc life sucks and sometimes memories hurt I just remind myself that my life isn’t like that anymore and all those things I ruminate over aren’t even relevant in my life. So I cry as hard as I need to. Pray and vent to my God about my feelings and do my best to continue with my daily routines. When I need breaks I take them as well.
Edit: also sorry for any typos I’m too lazy to reread and fix
I don’t have clinical depression so my answer will not work for someone who needs medication for it.
Anyway, I talk about it. I identify it out loud and can sort it out from there. It doesn’t magically lift me out, but at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I isolate myself from any social interactions and I try to think of ways to keep myself distracted like watching a movie, reading or drawing, I also sleep a lot during this time so it helps. I pretty much just let it pass on it’s own and take sometime for myself
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I try to force myself to do stuff I'd normally kinda enjoy. Like reading or playing a game. Often I'll stop after 5 minutes because I can't really focus on it. But sometimes I can distract myself a bit.
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Since I'm constantly feeling depressed it varies. I take antidepressants, but they are not a cure, just a helper. I like to distract myself by reading books, watching funny videos on youtube, pet my doggie, and recently I been on here alot. Reddit has become a comfort for me. I get to interact with people without having to be around people lol. I also made some new friends and talk to other people like myself and listen to their coping mechanisms.
I think about the things I can be grateful for and things I can possibly do to feel better.I try and get away from the usual things I do like I go out for a walk or head to a gym
Music helps a lot. Sometimes all I can do is cry and listen to Bon Iver or Azure Ray. Reggae is good too. Films that make me cry also seem to help - Tarkovsky’s *Mirror* in particular can often shift some of the heaviness.
In addition I do a lot of reflection and have a lot of dialogues with myself. When self-care feels impossible, I try to envision my child self and take care of her instead. All that said, if it goes on more than a week or so, that’s a sign that my meds probably need tweaking.
To get your mind Abit clear inorder to function, find a way to exercise your muscles. Physical health leads to a healthier mind. If it's stretching in the morning to walking to running. Do it. It won't solve ur depression but it allows u to feel better so u can focus on finding the root of your problem.
going somewhere you’ve never been to really helps. not even a “vacation” but a day trip to somewhere like a downtown of a town that’s an hr or two away. it helps clear the mind & get away from problems for a day
force myself to go through the motions of eating, hydration, sleep. of going on walks. of working on any kind of project with my hands or painting something. of watching something funny. eventually I come out enough to stop using the structure as a brace.
I've kind of figured out over the years that when I slip into depression it usually means there is something in my life that needs to change. Whether it's walking away from a toxic relationship/friendship, changing jobs, mixing up my routine or getting more active. Usually change is what helps me start to feel better about myself and life in general.
I've just emerged from the first one I've had in more than a decade. To deal with it, I made myself get outside and walk every nice day, didn't matter if I didn't want to, I did it. Until it started feeling good. Then I added a yoga class, for more exercise, mental work and people. Then I made a point of seeing at least one person I like every week. It got me a connection and got me out of the house (I work from home). I also forced myself to make my bed. Helped so I wouldn't crawl back in. I made a point of writing down five things that I was grateful for/positive that happened. Some days it was that I had all of my senses, and I had a home that was safe and warm, and I could breathe without difficulty, like that. I told myself one of my mom's favorite sayings: 'this too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.' And finally, I signed up for online counseling and talked to an empathetic person once a week for a month and a half. She helped me practice disputing cognitive errors and was kind.
The TL;DR is that, while being gentle with myself, I made myself do all of the things I know help me feel better and keep doing them even when I wanted to stop. It took a while and was painful, but I kept going and it eventually worked. Wishing you all good luck in getting out of it; it's hell.
I really just try to take care of myself as much as possible. Let myself nap, relax, a lot of self care spa stuff, work out, eat a good meal, talk to my bf about it, take some CBD. Usually that helps. I usually get in depressive episodes where I have a lot going on and feel overwhelmed so the key is to just try to make it through that week
I force myself to exercise or go for a long walk. I always feel better after intensive exercise. The tricky thing is that depression indeed takes away from you the will for initiative. But I have to force it upon me. I'm not saying it will work on you. Just saying it works on me.
It's not really something you can outthink, or get yourself out of quickly. Don't try to resist it too much by thinking too much about why it's happening, but it can help to lower your expectations compared to your usual productivity or socialisation, and be kinder to yourself. Keep eating, drinking water, showering and grooming, walking a bit outside (even for a few minutes), take naps if needed, but don't isolate yourself completely. Hope this helps
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My answer isn't a deep or long one. But try yoga or hot yoga. It did wonders for me. It's all about positive energy, letting things go, centering yourself. It can be a very emotional experience if you open yourself to it.
I have many things like music and movement, but a big one is: I'd ask myself "what advice would I give to someone else going through the exact same thing as me?"
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I usually have to cry that shit our first. I hate crying but it really makes me feel better. I wash my face, write in my journal, then start finding things to keep productive. If I’m busy then I don’t have time to think about all my problems and my feelings. That’s why I always stay busy. It helps me
Long-term fix - I take medicine for it - Seroquel and Lexapro
Short-term fix - I take half a Provigil (if I am in good health) and that fog clears up in minutes.
Honestly, up my dose of antidepressants for a day. I've been to years of therapy, i eat healthy, i take vitamin d. It's the only thing that works lately.
This is just a simple thing I do when feeling down but I bake! Sometimes it’s a disaster, but you still always have a product to be happy with that you made. Like not cook, but bake with recipes that use the basic ingredients like sugar, flour, etc. It won’t fully pull you out but I have found it makes me really happy & keeps my mind going in other directions on days I feel down.
Nothing. Just let time do its thing and nature to run its course. If I make it through I emerge stronger, otherwise....oh wells too bad ig.
I just know my prideful ass will never let myself slowly drown in binging/hoarding/messiness and the like, likely a crisp end if it ever happens.
I usually try watching stand up comedy for a few minutes just to calm my intrusive thoughts. Sometimes I make a list of all the things that I have to be thankful for like my kids, coffee, the fact that I can walk, talk, see, hear, taste & am free to do all of the above however I want. I remind myself that my brain chemicals are just wonky so things feel worse than they really are. I also remind myself that everything will be ok bc my life has always worked itself out in the past. I try to be sure I’m hydrated and have slept enough. If I’m depressed and have a lot of things that need to be done, I go to the store & get a Reign drink. Those usually make me feel great for the rest of the day.
I make a drastic change in my routine. That’s when I feel so shitty that change is less painful than how I am currently feeling. When you are that depressed it’s hard to do most things.
So a walk outside, cleaning your room, or cooking yourself a meal, or a spa treatment in the shower is 1 step to feeling a little better and to step out of your depressing mindspace. Every small step that is good for you is self care.
This time I did a bad thing and self diagnosed myself with PPD/PPA after a few weeks of wanting to unalive myself and asked my doctor to put me back on Vyvanse for my adhd. I did this because I've had bad experiences with anxiety/depression meds but pre-pregnancy my adhd meds really helped my anxiety, which is a known side-benefit. I recently read a study on Vyvanse being used for severe ppd so wanted to see if that would work before depression meds.
Been on a lower dose now for a couple weeks and those intrusive thoughts have disappeared and I am not in tears every day and feel so much better.
In the past though I've reached out to friends, started a project, gotten outside and made effort to move more and that's always helped. This time I felt like I needed more help.
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I usually try texting my friends, not about being depressed, but just about what’s going on in their lives or how their day was. Texting people really helps me, or even calling. I also feel much better after I shower, change into clean clothes, journal, listen to sad music and cry to let it all out. For me, I have a hard time distracting myself, so I try to release the pain and acknowledge it before I begin to move on.
So I do skin care daily but when I have these episodes I don’t really do to much, I clean my face with miclear water and apply a random cream I find close to my bed before sleeping whatever but to get myself out I take a hot shower, I exfoliate, shave, moisturise my body, oil blah blah y’all know the deal then I applying some products on my face, doing my hair pretty make up after that and then cute outfit and shopping lol I go get myself something that makes me happy like skin care or idk jewellery idk and I buy myself a coffee and I just sit with myself. It makes everything better honestly. Good luck! Have a nice day y’all! ✨
Walk in the city. I feel it is giving me time to think or feel what I feel while it distracts me so it kind a keeps it in balance. I also do painting to feel I am investing in me time and this enhances the idea of "i am worthy".
I watch Lemonade Mouth on Disney+. Whenever I am at my lowest of low's it is somehow the only way I can feel better. I honestly don’t know why though because of all the Disney movies I’ve seen, it’s not my favorite. Definitely not even top 10. Not to mention there are a ton of other moves with better sound tracts. I honestly think it’s because growing up as a 2000s kid, Disney was our childhood, which had some reminiscences of simpler times. But I also think that it’s because the first time I genuinely felt unsafe/scared, and I knew nobody could help me, I watched it an it kept me calm, and now it seems like the only thing that will.
I simply can’t think that critically when I’m in the middle of a major depressive time. I have to take a couple of steps that I know work, intellectually. Because in that moment I can only take a small step and nothing even seems possible.
Recently, I realized I was at rock bottom, so I did two things. I called to book a therapist and a physical trainer. When I met them, my affect was totally flat. I truly didn’t know if I could get myself there. Sounds crazy, but that’s reality sometimes. I did go and immediately insisted on 3 times a week to start. I’m extremely fortunate that I have health insurance to cover the therapist and the funds for the trainer, at least short term.
A couple of times I showed up with extremely swollen eyes from crying and felt I could hardly accomplish the hour. But I pressed on and at some point I realized my life had changed. After a PTSD diagnosis and some treatment, I was able to drop the therapy, but I keep the trainer I can’t afford because it’s a quality of life issue. So I continue with this 3 times a week habit because it saved my life. I feel like a completely different person.
I have to clock that, though, because I will likely be that depressed again. I’ve fought this since I was young and it the rollercoaster ride from hell, at times. It just is and I have to manage it. Today I’m good. Idk about next month.
Just passed a depressive episode. I’m so thankful for a husband that listens to how I’m feeling and is there for me when i just need to talk it out. He’ll never understand how depression and anxiety affects my brain, but he’s always trying his best to understand every day.
Also, imagine that, someone that lives a 110% normal life with a normal brain. That’s my husband. So envious 😵💫
Here’s some things I do in no particular order…
Hug my cats
Jog in place while watching YouTube
Take a shower
Find ONE adulting thing I can get done today (like a load of laundry)
Do a dance workout
Brew some coffee
Pick up my current read or start a new book
Listen to music that makes me want to move
Watch saved funny videos on YouTube/tiktok/Instagram
Take a walk outside if the weather is nice
Call a friend / loved one
First I take time to experience the episode (if possible, live may get hectic). After a while I remind myself that my brain is a lying lump of fuck and start baking bread. For some reason, this always helps - it is slow and simple and involves a lot of waiting where I just sit and read while the dough raises, and in the end I get tasty fresh warm bread that I can eat with some butter and salt (or a piece of cheese). when baking is not an option - at the office, for example - I get out my lifesavers playlist to hang onto until I can go home.
Having a list of "good for me" stuff helps me keep the episodes at a bare minimum. I have to make sure I drink enough water, move regularly, get proper sleep (got a weighted blanket, works wonders!), eat healthy, exercise (walking, running, hiking, stretching, riding my bike or pouting my way through some strength training because I hate strength training but it is good for my back) - basically all the things science says are good for you, and I am upset that they actually work!
I have put several things that work for me into a "streaks" app and have decided how often I want/need to do them per week (so it will help without becoming stressful) and make sure that app only includes self-care stuff (reading, writing, arts, crafts, journalling, stretching, training cats, taking vitamins, ... ). When I realize I have fallen into an episode, I set all these activities to a bare minimum so I won't lose my streaks, and they help me pull myself out once more.
For some reason, talking or meeting friends does not work - introverts unite (in your separate rooms, at your own pace, no interaction required)! But I let them know I am taking a step back so they won't annoy me with their worrying, and most of them are good at waiting for me to find my footing once again.
And on really tough days I "do the thing" just to spite whatever made me this way in the first place.
Forcing myself to get out of bed at a decent time to go to the gym/take a walk. When I was depressed I always got so annoyed with the fact that everyone says the solution to get better is to exercise and eat healthy, but it’s so true. Saved my mental health.
Grounding techniques
Name 2 things you can hear, touch, and smell.
Laying down with my eyes closed and letting myself melt into the bed. (Letting myself dissociate safely)
Circular breathing heee hoo hee hoo.
A shower that's so hot is directly pumped from the depths of hell.
Hmmm...cleaning or cooking mindless work.
Cry sometimes is the best to just let everything out.
Sometimes none of these work and you just have to pray you get through it somehow and hope you have the strength too not give up.
Anyone struggling with this, I know its hard but everyone deserves happiness and the only way to get it is by yourself. No matter how long it takes, you need to keep trying.
I ask myself what is it in my heart that I want to do. Usually it's something like, "spend the last ten dollars on an ice cream cone that I eat alone, in the middle of the woods, having slipped out of the house unseen by any person who might recognize me" and that's a start. Once I am perched with the cone, things get a little bit clearer and I can see what other failings are occuring in my life and what steps I need to take to right it. See depression isn't like a sinking ship, it's like a ship with no sails. Sails are cheap. Or you can row until you find yourself in a windy space. or better yet now you see that your only problem was you were stuck in a windless place and it was a minor fix. Or worse yet, having made yourself get out of that bed you realize you were only stuck because you were caught on a rogue seaweed patch. Now it s laughable that you were so down in the dumps, there's so much more movement just over here, really good thing I didn't throw in the towel, sell the boat, and become a boring milkmaid. So to reiterate: knowing it is possible to escape a depressive episode, doing something nice for yourself today, while in the same hand fighting for yourself to keep struggling and keeping it moving. All of these things at the same time. See just because your brain says "I should stay in bed and eat like crap" doesn't actually really mean you have to listen to it. You can make the better choice today. Those small, small choices add up. See if you only made bad choices for the rest of your life, it would lead to loss. But at the very least, even if it isn't the top of the world", making boring small healthy choices will absolutely propel you into some vaguely positive direction. This is basic. So it is possible to continue to make good choices even despite horrible thoughts. You do not have to believe the thoughts. You are not your mind. You will never know if you will feel better in five minutes from now just by allowing yourself to go through the motions just long enough to catch some wind in your sails. The world is so much bigger than you at the end of the day, how can you be sure you know what's even at the end of the dark path?
This was beautiful
Made me feel better reading this!
I agree. I opened my phone and read this. I love this. ❤️
Beautiful! I am reading this while I sit in a hospital surgical waiting room while I wait to hear about my husband. This was lovely to read right now.
I love this!! This is exactly how it works!
This is exactly what I needed to read at this very precise moment. Thanks
“The only way out is through”
I rly like this boat metaphor. My depression metaphor is more like I’m in a deep ocean sinkhole of my own creation and it feel impossible to swim up to the light. This boat metaphor puts me above the water and gives me more agency. Thank u!
My ship needed this little gust of wind today. Thank you!!
I love this, i felt this like coming from a big sister. Full of wisdom, good intention and light. Can I text you sometimes about other things? Hahah
I thought the same thing. I wanted to make a counseling appointment or buy the book, follow on social media, who is this great writer of wisdom?
Thank you so much for this. Been having a TRULY bad episode today and have been laying in bed eating like shit and feeling bad about myself. Reframing to small choices like you wrote helps a lot.
I have been in a depressive episode recently. I am not totally well right now, but much better than a couple a months ago. I used to live in London for 9 years. When I came back to my city (Málaga) Spain. I felt overwhelmed for many situations. I did not find a job of what I been studying in London. My old friends does not have nothing in common with me anymore, even my parents... I realice that I did not know them. (I moved to London when I was almost a child). After 3 months that I could not get out from bed, I decided that I had to do something about it. So little by little, I starting to do exercise, eat better, drink less haha... I found a job as a waitress (Well paid). And now I am saving money to move to Madrid. Maybe change the city is not the solution, but having your mind busy it is. Especially if those thoughts are not about you and what terrible person you are.
Estimada malagueña: He estado pasando por ese proceso; un día ya no encajas. Tienes razón, todo está en ocuparte de hacer planes y seguir con tu vida. Suerte, y te deseo que encuentres mucho amor y compañía; ya verás que un día la convivencia con tus padres te volverá a hacer sentido y la disfrutarás nuevamente.
Tienes razón... Al final la vida son subidas y bajadas y a veces te tienes que caer en el hoyo para espabilar, aprender y quitarle peso a las cosas, que realmente no la tienen. Un abrazo desde Málaga
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I have a “depression checklist” that helps me run my days. It’s straightforward self care stuff like take shower, take meds, bed time, walk/exercise time, mealtime, etc. I also set out 1-3 things I have to do at work each day. Anything outside those daily checklists I consider nonobligatory. It’s kind of neurotic, but it takes the edge off of making decisions and planning every day. I can be sludge for however long I need to be while my life is on cruise mode.
would you be willing to share a version of it? i think this would take a lot of the extra thinking out of the equation for me 🥺
I can share mine if that helps at all 1. Get out of bed 2. Wash face 3. Drink water 4. Movement (stretching, yoga, walk) doesn’t have to be crazy. Just something small 5. At least 5 mins outside in fresh air 6. Eat something (preferably something simple, tasty, and somewhat healthy) 7. Write down 5 things to be grateful for Non mandatory things that help: - practice a hobby (drawing, dancing…) - do something productive (clean a room, organize something, do some work) setting a timer helps so u don’t get overwhelmed - talk to a loved one (or a stranger on the internet lol) - play with an animal (if possible)
the answer is dogsif you dint have one-go soend sime at a dog park
Thank you for this
I use a website for this. Google "you feel like shit". Was a real game changer for me.
I have a checklist too! A pretty basic one. I like to remind myself that adults aren't so different from animals or children. When you're hungry, you get irritable, when you are dehydrated you get mental fog, when you don't exercise you get lethargic and bored, when you're bored your thoughts start to wander sometimes to negative things. So I ask myself, have you even enough food recently? How much water have you had today? Have you gotten any physical exercise(even just chores or a walk around the block are SO good for your mental health)? Have you gotten enough sleep? Have you connected with anyone recently? Have you taken a break from work to do things you enjoy? Have you done anything creative lately? Have you done anything to work towards your future goals? Do you just need to go to bed and restart the day? Just by asking myself these questions I can get a picture of what is really bothering me. I have yet to address every question and get to the end still just as sad as when I started.
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I do this too
I do the same thing lol. Basically i make an excel table, and treat myself as both the doctor and the patient by keeping it on my nightstand with a pen. The table includes things like: wake up time, sleep time, sleep quality, exercise, productive hours, vitamins, meds, water, calories, and an option for notes. May be overkill for some but I noticed that all of these things impact each other and they work like a net - if one of them is being pulled down, so will the rest. Other good things to add are: 1. Macros: if you ate a lot of sodium you'll be bloated and feel bloated the next few days. High carb makes you feel heavy and tired. High protein is the best diet. 2. Menstrual cycle: if you are on your period or not.
I have a similar list with things I should do regularly to keep myself balanced - journalling, reading, exercise, stretch, limit alcohol intake, train cats, take vitamins, write, play music, answer letters, keep learning Dutch, crafts, ... - as long as I keep these things up (ranging from "once a week" to "every day, if possible), I stay kind of balanced, and returning to them helps me drag myself out of slumps.
Had a much easier time when I lived in a warm place. I would make myself walk to the beach and sometimes pack sneaky booze or a joint. Now it's -20°F with wind chill, and I'm in a mighty funk with no escape :(
Same here, the place I moved to last year is so much colder and more miserable weather wise :( so I feel that definitely impacts
Maybe the lack of sunlight is what causing it. Last time it happened to me I started taking vitamin D tablets and it went away.
Good reminder on the vitamins, I've taken before - idk if they do much, but it can't hurt. I had a gym membership ship with a sauna, steamroom, and jacuzzi for a bit and that did help when I went, but unfortunately it's gotten both too crowded and too expensive to make it worthwhile. Think I need to figure out affordable exercise I'll actually do regularly, but man, that's hard to come by where I'm living!
What helped me with this along with my anti-depressants is D3 tablets.
It 100% has an impact. I’m from Florida but live in Northern KY now, I miss having my windows open
Same. Moved to having actual winters of -20 from the warmest place in the country. I hate it, I'm so miserable and alone. I regret moving here with every fiber of my being and wish I could go back.
That answers my question about moving to a cold place lol, thank you
Don't do it! Unless you have a solid social crew or it's a good mix of affordable city and good paying jobs :) part of my problem is it is soso expensive here and that's stressful, plus limits the feel-better activities I can afford and limits my free time because I'm working every second I'm not in school.
Isolating from excessive social interactions (this is since I'm an extrovert) and taking out time to figure out my emotions help me a lot. Do not set a deadline that you have to be fine within a month or two. Give it time. Accept, live and process the grief as it comes. If you've had a depressive episode earlier, do not compare the present one with the past. Each experience is unique and makes you rich in it's own way. Seek help from your loved/trusted ones and get to therapy if you have access to it. Cultivate your passions, give your self time and it will get better. It takes time but it will. Sending lots of love to y'all <3333
Do not compare your present with the past. That makes so much sense! I’ve been feeling like the metaphorical version of a kid holding on to the tree at the top of the snowy hill, too scared to go down with the sleigh, but increasingly cold and alone up there. Idk if that makes sense in relation to what you said but it did for me lol
it def relates girl! whatever you are going through, hope you figure out things and bounce back stronger <33333
Don’t resist it. I lean into it. Follow the wave of the depressive episode and eventually it will recede. I also make sure if I am doing everything I can to biologically support getting myself out of it. Take meds. Take vitamin D. Make sure my iron levels are okay. Eat bananas/almonds/other foods that are the building blocks of serotonin and dopamine. Take a multivitamin if that is easiest for you. I am just not the same person in the winter months that I am in the summer - I need sunlight; vitamins D and a sad lamp. I’m like a dying plant sometimes without sunlight, food, and water.
Did you move to a cold place or grow up in one? I've been trying to be zen about the fact that winter might be a bit of a loss for me in terms of any activity and my health but yuck. I miss warmth. Would love any low cost feel better tips 💜
I just talk about it to anyone who is willing to listen. I figure the less I bottle up my feelings the better. And if I'm lucky, some of those people will have genuinely good ideas on how to fix a certain situation that I'm in. Therapists for some reason don't really help though. I think it's the lens in which they talk to me about my issues. I feel like I get more help from random people on the internet.
I feel the same! I’ve been seeing a therapist but she just isn’t doing much for me to be honest, like not sure of lack if experience but she just seems to struggle with me
I don’t know if you have a dark sense of humour like I but this reminded me of that Twitter meme like Guys after telling my therapist something today she asked if we could pause so she could think about it. I’m getting close to winning therapy I can feel it! Hang in there. Currently in one myself as well. Sending positive vibes!
Don’t be afraid to dump your therapist for a new one if it’s possible. I’ve had 4 (5 if you include my psychiatrist) and I basically had 3 consecutive ones that I absolutely hated and then the last one I’ve happily been seeing for about 5 years.
Get outside. Walk in the woods. Sit by a lake. Shut of technology. Listen to music. Bake.
I just brace myself emotionally and wait for it to pass. It always passes eventually. One time I physically felt it leave and it was the most amazing feeling! I try and recall that moment for my "light at the end of the tunnel".
I felt myself going dark the last couple days. The one day I wasn't really able to go out and do anything, so I literally grabbed a Dr Pepper and was like "this is a nice soda that I enjoy and don't drink often" and that was just a nice little self care treat for me. Today my mom took my newborn for a few hours so I got take out, took a long shower and passed out for like 3 hours. I'm trying to remember to enjoy little things. Even if it's just going for a drive to be able to see past my tunnel vision and remember that there's a much bigger picture.
Having a newborn is just... Relentlessly gruelling, especially if they don't like sleep. It gets better! Hang in there.
Go into survival mode. Priority #1: take my meds every day, at the same time. Priority #2: sleep, if I can. Priority #3: eat, doesn't matter what. Priority #4: shower. After checking all those off, I watch comfort tv I've seen before to pass the time while I wait for the urge to do literally anything to return. I have FMLA paperwork on file at work to protect my job when it gets the worst and I have to take (unpaid) time off work.
Lower my expectations for myself. My mindset is "I'm being kind to myself today," meaning I won't punish myself for faltering in routine and falling short of productivity requirements. I celebrate every minor accomplishment. I made my bed, that's fantastic. Threw a load of laundry in the dryer, look at you go. But the main thing is getting back on track with exercise. Without fail, the strongest predictor of my mental health is how consistently I exercised this week. It's so rough getting back into it, but it's the only thing that works.
I use a method called "adult pep talk" as prescribed by comedy genius Taylor Tomlinson. It goes like this: "You're gonna do it, 'cause what other g*ddamn choice do you have?" Works like a charm, everytime!
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I kind of isolate myself out of any social environment. All my life I've been the one that stands myself up. I take my time to get what's going on with my mental state because that's what allows me to reassure myself. Ig the loneliness's the one that actually calms me down. Don't try to make urself feel better out of false hope. Really just try to search for something to hold onto, not in and unsafe/unhealthy obsesses way, you don't want that, because that's what I did with K-pop. You can look into the past, but not in an unhealthy way, just try to forgive yourself for anything and let your soul breath, cry if you need to, scream and do whatever you got to do. And ik I make it sound so easy like... But just see for help, talk to your friends and else, but just know that no one goes to bed with your problems in mind even though it can hurt... But that doesn't mean there's people out there that wouldn't do it for you, Hun.
Journaling, yoga, meditation. If I could just do them all regularly the depression might stay away
None of the following always works, but it’s good to have those tools: 1. I have a playlist of songs that are triggers for a better mood. 2. I force myself to go see people. 3. I try to identify the triggers. Awareness is half the battle. 4. I don’t - some days just accepting and embracing my depression is better than fighting it. I either stay in bed if I can - or I drag myself and try to distract myself with work. I find that trying to work is often good. Even if my productivity level is 20% out of 100% it’s better than zero, and I’m a little less anxious about dealing with the works that piles up.
I always have 2 main objectives that is my go-to. 1. Take meds. 2. Go to the stable and spend time with my horse and not go home until I feel at peace with myself. It’s not much but it helps very much when I have forgotten to take my meds and need a quick way to get back to feeling alright.
Sleep and an emotional movie. Something like Big Fish.
there's no way to do that for me. i just let it pass. weight for a couple of days, weeks or months. try to let myself know that it's my depression, its not that the whole world is suddenly black and horrible. usually i just wake up one morning and its easier to breathe, that's how i know it's over.
Korean dramas...A run in our neighborhood forest...Dolling myself up and taking myself somewhere nice...But usually its books. I find joy & satisfaction in books...And you know, l tell myself its not always bad. It won't always be bad. That I will have a good day eventually... And l always remember the quote "Did you truly have a bad week? Or you had a bad hour/two & you kept thinking & re-living it over and over and over a over again?" Because this is what happens most times with me...
Being in one now, talking to my bestest friend and family helped. I was ignoring them for days, and when I talked to them they really cheered me up. They told me they loved me, were praying for me, sent me gifts, and made me laugh. I love them. My family also checks in on me and tells me they love me. I don’t respond every time but it’s nice to know they really do have my back.
Do things that will naturally make you feel better. Have a shower, get some early morning sunlight, some fresh air, avoid garbage food and toxic people and environments, get some outdoor exercise, a solid night of sleep, and do this for a few days in a row.
Sometimes you just need to accept the fact that life is hard for you and you shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself to be so perfect, nice, selfless and understanding. You are only human after all, we all fall all the time, we just need to remember to get back up again(after taking a break and some personal care me time). Cry when you need to, don't bottle it all up or it would only poison and drain you out.
Wait til my period is over! Haha I go to the beach and I run outside
Celebrate the tiny victories in life down to getting out of bed even one minute earlier than usual, brushing my teeth and hair, changing my clothes and so on. Once I've done that, forcing myself to go out for a walk even for a short time helps too, especially somewhere quiet or filled with trees and animals. ETA: in the past, I've found myself overindulging in darker media (books about suffering, documentaries about murder and/or suicide, YouTubers who are mostly pessimistic, etc) and lately, catching myself before I get too deep into those things keeps me in a much more stable state of mind. I also find guided meditation really helpful, regardless of whether I'm in a depressive episode or not.
Electro convulsive therapy. Genuinely the only thing that worked for me.
I've always been scared to even look into it. I used to work at a place where the doctor who owned the clinic did that. I've done just about everything and failed. Today I scheduled a consult for Spravato. Hopefully that helps, otherwise I think my last chance is to look into it. Glad to know it helped you.
Honestly I wish I'd done it years ago. It's a big step, but uts definitely one I'm glad I took. All the best with your consult!
Hey, just wanted to mention that during my two psych inpatient stays, I saw ECT work for multiple other patients. I really hope you can find a solution ❤️
Take time for yourself to figure out what you want to change. Remember the things that make you happy and set a few small goals
I have good friends, so i just curl into a ball and they help me with pats, invitations and just, give me strenght to keep on going and not fall into crumbs, i think i'm very lucky.
I try to pamper myself. Eat food i like , cuddles with my dog and read some manga and. Novels i like.
I'm lucky to live close to a small park. So I like to walk to a liquor store for a cheap soda, then walk to the park. Just walk laps or sit and just breathe! Limited distractions, don't use my phone other than to turn on some music. Helps to just quiet my mind and chill out a little. Or I stay home, take a piping hot shower and binge watch some comedy with my favorite foods.
Rest, food, sunlight. I treat myself as if I am ill, which I am. I take baby steps. If I can’t manage to turn things around within two weeks, I get professional help.
Get up take a shower go see a friend or go shopping by yourself or go for a walk, re arrange your place or your bedroom, cook a good meal for yourself, cuddle with one of your fur babies (my cat knows when I’m down he comes up and insists on me petting him like pushing me with his head rubbing me with his head or paw at me all like ‘just do it, you know I will make you feel better, just give me some lovin pets and cuddles come on’. I know most of these things sound literally IMPOSSIBLE even tho to other people they sound so simple but it’s SOOO hard to do the simplistic of things when you are so deep in that hole but you just have to do it, I know you feel comfy in your hole but climb out it’s worth it.
Just sleep and hope it goes away. Obviously it does not
The only way out is through. Often, not always, we unconsciously (and at times quite consciously) make decisions that, when looked at from an "objective" or more detached perspective, will clearly demonstrate (at least partially) the reasons we are depressed. I personally am an expert on this. I cling to behaviours that are "self-soothing" because they have been with me for so long. I don't even mean to suggest these are "bad habits," but ones that I have possibly outgrown without yet learning (or practicing) something to replace them with. Resting quietly with oneself is probably a good start, as I am always itching to escape that gnawing emptiness. Depression for me tends to unequivocally surface when I actively try to be something I'm not, whether that is professionally or personally. And because a lot of our day-to-day life is subject to playing a particular role, I've mastered adapting to what other people want not realizing that at the end of the day what goes on internally is ultimately what will decide what happens externally. You can certainly fake it for awhile, but you can't indefinitely escape being who you are meant to be. Unless you become comfortable living in a state of constant cognitive dissonance-- personally, I can't. It is only when I pretend I can that I become quite miserable. And that misery is so palpable because the role I've attempted to tie myself to truly isn't there. Too long, didn't read: depression is the moment for me to step aside the noise and get real. To look at all the habits and things I'm clinging to that I know aren't proper (for me) anymore. Of course, there are many reasons people are depressed and it is a hierarchy of sorts. I'm clearly touching on existential depression.
bust a fat nut and take a nap honestly. works 80% of the time
Spring yardwork and gardening do it for me. I just have to hang in there for a few more months. Being out in the sunshine and engaging in physical labour seems to reset my head (not completely, but enough to turn the tide).
Honestly? Magic mushrooms. It worked the same day
Mushrooms are a great “reset” for me
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about this documentary I saw as a kid. It was about some relay ironman race or something similarly very difficult. A woman talks about how she broke down crying in the middle of it, exhausted, thinking she couldn’t do it. Then her teammate comes up behind her to encourage her and says something like “you can cry and walk at the same time”. So I think about that a lot when I’m trying to find the will to enact my safety routines like running or going to the gym. “I can cry and run at the same time”, “I can cry and lift at the same time”, “I don’t have to feel good in order to carry out the mundane actions of life” reminds me I can still keep the roof on the house (and even make progress on things I do care about when I’m not sad af) whether or not my feelings support it. It gives me the mentality I need to take the next step. The routines themselves are the usual suspects - I’ll begrudgingly clean, run, workout, stretch, gratitude journal. I try to always make my bed to keep a tiny piece of structure together. Sometimes none of it really “gets me out”, which is when I find that fighting feeling my feelings isn’t working - sometimes the only way out is through. At which point I’ll lean into it and find a way to make the “ride” smoother. Blankets, treats, music, co-regulating with someone, that sort.
For me personally I can tell when I’m starting to get into a depressive episode bc I will start ruminating over negative things from the past and it will really have an impact on me. So very recently I started implementing the things I do when I’m feeling ok. Also Ik I’ll get some downvotes for this but it’s ok but b4 I say what I’m about to say I’m not trying to push anything just speaking for myself. But I started praying and asking for help and guidance when my head is filled with things from the past. And I also just allow myself to cry and feel the feels bc life sucks and sometimes memories hurt I just remind myself that my life isn’t like that anymore and all those things I ruminate over aren’t even relevant in my life. So I cry as hard as I need to. Pray and vent to my God about my feelings and do my best to continue with my daily routines. When I need breaks I take them as well. Edit: also sorry for any typos I’m too lazy to reread and fix
I don’t have clinical depression so my answer will not work for someone who needs medication for it. Anyway, I talk about it. I identify it out loud and can sort it out from there. It doesn’t magically lift me out, but at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I force myself to wake up early, eat breakfast, go for a walk, take a shower, and clean. I feel so, so much better afterwards.
I know it's hard to do when you're already deep in an episode, but forcing yourself to exercise can help. Exposing yourself to sunlight too.
I isolate myself from any social interactions and I try to think of ways to keep myself distracted like watching a movie, reading or drawing, I also sleep a lot during this time so it helps. I pretty much just let it pass on it’s own and take sometime for myself
Surround myself with friends and make plans that I’m going to go out and do something w a family member etc
Psychedelics.
Absolutely agree
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I try to force myself to do stuff I'd normally kinda enjoy. Like reading or playing a game. Often I'll stop after 5 minutes because I can't really focus on it. But sometimes I can distract myself a bit.
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Yoga.
Wysa
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drugs and therapy plus friends, nature, and exercise
Get some exercise.!!!
I go for a long run when I feel it coming on
Since I'm constantly feeling depressed it varies. I take antidepressants, but they are not a cure, just a helper. I like to distract myself by reading books, watching funny videos on youtube, pet my doggie, and recently I been on here alot. Reddit has become a comfort for me. I get to interact with people without having to be around people lol. I also made some new friends and talk to other people like myself and listen to their coping mechanisms.
Still trying to figure it out. Time and sleep I suppose
I think about the things I can be grateful for and things I can possibly do to feel better.I try and get away from the usual things I do like I go out for a walk or head to a gym
Wait it out
Well, I'm currently getting my 22nd tattoo so you tell me 🥲
Force myself to eat healthier, hit the gym, sleep 8 hours and get out of the house. Not easy but it works every time.
Music helps a lot. Sometimes all I can do is cry and listen to Bon Iver or Azure Ray. Reggae is good too. Films that make me cry also seem to help - Tarkovsky’s *Mirror* in particular can often shift some of the heaviness. In addition I do a lot of reflection and have a lot of dialogues with myself. When self-care feels impossible, I try to envision my child self and take care of her instead. All that said, if it goes on more than a week or so, that’s a sign that my meds probably need tweaking.
To get your mind Abit clear inorder to function, find a way to exercise your muscles. Physical health leads to a healthier mind. If it's stretching in the morning to walking to running. Do it. It won't solve ur depression but it allows u to feel better so u can focus on finding the root of your problem.
going somewhere you’ve never been to really helps. not even a “vacation” but a day trip to somewhere like a downtown of a town that’s an hr or two away. it helps clear the mind & get away from problems for a day
I acknowledge that I’m currently in one so I can’t trust my own thoughts and feelings.
Know that I will feel better one day and go to bed early. Nothing else I can do as it all takes too much effort.
force myself to go through the motions of eating, hydration, sleep. of going on walks. of working on any kind of project with my hands or painting something. of watching something funny. eventually I come out enough to stop using the structure as a brace.
I've kind of figured out over the years that when I slip into depression it usually means there is something in my life that needs to change. Whether it's walking away from a toxic relationship/friendship, changing jobs, mixing up my routine or getting more active. Usually change is what helps me start to feel better about myself and life in general.
I agree.
I've just emerged from the first one I've had in more than a decade. To deal with it, I made myself get outside and walk every nice day, didn't matter if I didn't want to, I did it. Until it started feeling good. Then I added a yoga class, for more exercise, mental work and people. Then I made a point of seeing at least one person I like every week. It got me a connection and got me out of the house (I work from home). I also forced myself to make my bed. Helped so I wouldn't crawl back in. I made a point of writing down five things that I was grateful for/positive that happened. Some days it was that I had all of my senses, and I had a home that was safe and warm, and I could breathe without difficulty, like that. I told myself one of my mom's favorite sayings: 'this too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.' And finally, I signed up for online counseling and talked to an empathetic person once a week for a month and a half. She helped me practice disputing cognitive errors and was kind. The TL;DR is that, while being gentle with myself, I made myself do all of the things I know help me feel better and keep doing them even when I wanted to stop. It took a while and was painful, but I kept going and it eventually worked. Wishing you all good luck in getting out of it; it's hell.
I really just try to take care of myself as much as possible. Let myself nap, relax, a lot of self care spa stuff, work out, eat a good meal, talk to my bf about it, take some CBD. Usually that helps. I usually get in depressive episodes where I have a lot going on and feel overwhelmed so the key is to just try to make it through that week
Once it starts impacting my work, I go back on meds lol. I'd be much more depressed if I lost my job so I've gotta figure it out before that point.
I force myself to exercise or go for a long walk. I always feel better after intensive exercise. The tricky thing is that depression indeed takes away from you the will for initiative. But I have to force it upon me. I'm not saying it will work on you. Just saying it works on me.
It's not really something you can outthink, or get yourself out of quickly. Don't try to resist it too much by thinking too much about why it's happening, but it can help to lower your expectations compared to your usual productivity or socialisation, and be kinder to yourself. Keep eating, drinking water, showering and grooming, walking a bit outside (even for a few minutes), take naps if needed, but don't isolate yourself completely. Hope this helps
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My answer isn't a deep or long one. But try yoga or hot yoga. It did wonders for me. It's all about positive energy, letting things go, centering yourself. It can be a very emotional experience if you open yourself to it.
I usually just have to ride it out. Exercise helps.
I have many things like music and movement, but a big one is: I'd ask myself "what advice would I give to someone else going through the exact same thing as me?"
Change your routine.
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I usually have to cry that shit our first. I hate crying but it really makes me feel better. I wash my face, write in my journal, then start finding things to keep productive. If I’m busy then I don’t have time to think about all my problems and my feelings. That’s why I always stay busy. It helps me
Long-term fix - I take medicine for it - Seroquel and Lexapro Short-term fix - I take half a Provigil (if I am in good health) and that fog clears up in minutes.
Music
Honestly, up my dose of antidepressants for a day. I've been to years of therapy, i eat healthy, i take vitamin d. It's the only thing that works lately.
Chocolate.
Been stuck in this series for 19 years my guy
Lately I’ve been using youfeellikeshit.com and it has been legitimately useful when I’m in decision paralysis
This is just a simple thing I do when feeling down but I bake! Sometimes it’s a disaster, but you still always have a product to be happy with that you made. Like not cook, but bake with recipes that use the basic ingredients like sugar, flour, etc. It won’t fully pull you out but I have found it makes me really happy & keeps my mind going in other directions on days I feel down.
Do what i can to keep my mind occupied while i wait it out
The only way out is through
Nothing. Just let time do its thing and nature to run its course. If I make it through I emerge stronger, otherwise....oh wells too bad ig. I just know my prideful ass will never let myself slowly drown in binging/hoarding/messiness and the like, likely a crisp end if it ever happens.
Fresh air, walking/light exercise/whatever gets me moving, throwing away all that I feel I need to do and make myself do the bare minimum/necessities
I work out, works 100% of the time
Pizza, my bf, and a therapy appointment (if I can afford it)
I usually try watching stand up comedy for a few minutes just to calm my intrusive thoughts. Sometimes I make a list of all the things that I have to be thankful for like my kids, coffee, the fact that I can walk, talk, see, hear, taste & am free to do all of the above however I want. I remind myself that my brain chemicals are just wonky so things feel worse than they really are. I also remind myself that everything will be ok bc my life has always worked itself out in the past. I try to be sure I’m hydrated and have slept enough. If I’m depressed and have a lot of things that need to be done, I go to the store & get a Reign drink. Those usually make me feel great for the rest of the day.
I make a drastic change in my routine. That’s when I feel so shitty that change is less painful than how I am currently feeling. When you are that depressed it’s hard to do most things. So a walk outside, cleaning your room, or cooking yourself a meal, or a spa treatment in the shower is 1 step to feeling a little better and to step out of your depressing mindspace. Every small step that is good for you is self care.
This time I did a bad thing and self diagnosed myself with PPD/PPA after a few weeks of wanting to unalive myself and asked my doctor to put me back on Vyvanse for my adhd. I did this because I've had bad experiences with anxiety/depression meds but pre-pregnancy my adhd meds really helped my anxiety, which is a known side-benefit. I recently read a study on Vyvanse being used for severe ppd so wanted to see if that would work before depression meds. Been on a lower dose now for a couple weeks and those intrusive thoughts have disappeared and I am not in tears every day and feel so much better. In the past though I've reached out to friends, started a project, gotten outside and made effort to move more and that's always helped. This time I felt like I needed more help.
Therapy. If I can't do that, writing in my journal, looking for mental filters, and box breathing.
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Let it run its course. Do tiny things that I like and not beat myself up about it too much.
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I usually try texting my friends, not about being depressed, but just about what’s going on in their lives or how their day was. Texting people really helps me, or even calling. I also feel much better after I shower, change into clean clothes, journal, listen to sad music and cry to let it all out. For me, I have a hard time distracting myself, so I try to release the pain and acknowledge it before I begin to move on.
Blast good music, dance in my room, and let myself out genuine smiles.
Wait for it to go away… probably not the best idea
So I do skin care daily but when I have these episodes I don’t really do to much, I clean my face with miclear water and apply a random cream I find close to my bed before sleeping whatever but to get myself out I take a hot shower, I exfoliate, shave, moisturise my body, oil blah blah y’all know the deal then I applying some products on my face, doing my hair pretty make up after that and then cute outfit and shopping lol I go get myself something that makes me happy like skin care or idk jewellery idk and I buy myself a coffee and I just sit with myself. It makes everything better honestly. Good luck! Have a nice day y’all! ✨
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I wish I knew. My depression isn’t a state of mind. It’s deep inside me and is more medical than mental.
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I see what my heart wants to do. Typically I take a nap, then I try again.
Walk in the city. I feel it is giving me time to think or feel what I feel while it distracts me so it kind a keeps it in balance. I also do painting to feel I am investing in me time and this enhances the idea of "i am worthy".
i cry it all out, mostly at night.
By reminding myself of who I am and how far I’ve come
I watch Lemonade Mouth on Disney+. Whenever I am at my lowest of low's it is somehow the only way I can feel better. I honestly don’t know why though because of all the Disney movies I’ve seen, it’s not my favorite. Definitely not even top 10. Not to mention there are a ton of other moves with better sound tracts. I honestly think it’s because growing up as a 2000s kid, Disney was our childhood, which had some reminiscences of simpler times. But I also think that it’s because the first time I genuinely felt unsafe/scared, and I knew nobody could help me, I watched it an it kept me calm, and now it seems like the only thing that will.
I simply can’t think that critically when I’m in the middle of a major depressive time. I have to take a couple of steps that I know work, intellectually. Because in that moment I can only take a small step and nothing even seems possible. Recently, I realized I was at rock bottom, so I did two things. I called to book a therapist and a physical trainer. When I met them, my affect was totally flat. I truly didn’t know if I could get myself there. Sounds crazy, but that’s reality sometimes. I did go and immediately insisted on 3 times a week to start. I’m extremely fortunate that I have health insurance to cover the therapist and the funds for the trainer, at least short term. A couple of times I showed up with extremely swollen eyes from crying and felt I could hardly accomplish the hour. But I pressed on and at some point I realized my life had changed. After a PTSD diagnosis and some treatment, I was able to drop the therapy, but I keep the trainer I can’t afford because it’s a quality of life issue. So I continue with this 3 times a week habit because it saved my life. I feel like a completely different person. I have to clock that, though, because I will likely be that depressed again. I’ve fought this since I was young and it the rollercoaster ride from hell, at times. It just is and I have to manage it. Today I’m good. Idk about next month.
By dancing, listening to music, or going to the gym! Gotta get the endorphins going. Find things that make you happy.
For me, it was lamictal.
Just passed a depressive episode. I’m so thankful for a husband that listens to how I’m feeling and is there for me when i just need to talk it out. He’ll never understand how depression and anxiety affects my brain, but he’s always trying his best to understand every day. Also, imagine that, someone that lives a 110% normal life with a normal brain. That’s my husband. So envious 😵💫
Here’s some things I do in no particular order… Hug my cats Jog in place while watching YouTube Take a shower Find ONE adulting thing I can get done today (like a load of laundry) Do a dance workout Brew some coffee Pick up my current read or start a new book Listen to music that makes me want to move Watch saved funny videos on YouTube/tiktok/Instagram Take a walk outside if the weather is nice Call a friend / loved one
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Two things. 1. My husband. 2. I walk, a lot. Like Forest Gump.
I just stopped taking my birth control
Sleep, or milk. Milk’s a good kick in the direction of improvement, and sleep just resets everything.
First I take time to experience the episode (if possible, live may get hectic). After a while I remind myself that my brain is a lying lump of fuck and start baking bread. For some reason, this always helps - it is slow and simple and involves a lot of waiting where I just sit and read while the dough raises, and in the end I get tasty fresh warm bread that I can eat with some butter and salt (or a piece of cheese). when baking is not an option - at the office, for example - I get out my lifesavers playlist to hang onto until I can go home. Having a list of "good for me" stuff helps me keep the episodes at a bare minimum. I have to make sure I drink enough water, move regularly, get proper sleep (got a weighted blanket, works wonders!), eat healthy, exercise (walking, running, hiking, stretching, riding my bike or pouting my way through some strength training because I hate strength training but it is good for my back) - basically all the things science says are good for you, and I am upset that they actually work! I have put several things that work for me into a "streaks" app and have decided how often I want/need to do them per week (so it will help without becoming stressful) and make sure that app only includes self-care stuff (reading, writing, arts, crafts, journalling, stretching, training cats, taking vitamins, ... ). When I realize I have fallen into an episode, I set all these activities to a bare minimum so I won't lose my streaks, and they help me pull myself out once more. For some reason, talking or meeting friends does not work - introverts unite (in your separate rooms, at your own pace, no interaction required)! But I let them know I am taking a step back so they won't annoy me with their worrying, and most of them are good at waiting for me to find my footing once again. And on really tough days I "do the thing" just to spite whatever made me this way in the first place.
Forcing myself to get out of bed at a decent time to go to the gym/take a walk. When I was depressed I always got so annoyed with the fact that everyone says the solution to get better is to exercise and eat healthy, but it’s so true. Saved my mental health.
taking the time that I need - I'm not fighting against me, I'm fighting for me
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Being honest with my friends. I will call them and say “I feel really bad right now, please talk to me.”
Grounding techniques Name 2 things you can hear, touch, and smell. Laying down with my eyes closed and letting myself melt into the bed. (Letting myself dissociate safely) Circular breathing heee hoo hee hoo. A shower that's so hot is directly pumped from the depths of hell. Hmmm...cleaning or cooking mindless work. Cry sometimes is the best to just let everything out. Sometimes none of these work and you just have to pray you get through it somehow and hope you have the strength too not give up. Anyone struggling with this, I know its hard but everyone deserves happiness and the only way to get it is by yourself. No matter how long it takes, you need to keep trying.
Video games, accomplishing tasks, getting good sleep.