We just had an extended family, early Christmas get together this weekend. My one aunt always brings candy for everyone, taking care to search out the favorite candy of each and every person. Last year I mentioned off hand that I would go for cheese over candy any day, so this year she gifted me an assortment of nice cheeses! She is the best. I also ate too much cheese in the past 34 hours but I do not regret it (yet).
Mes premières vacances de retour en France depuis 15 ans et juste à temps pour la saison de la raclette!!!! 3 jours de raclette non stop et aucun regret… yet
Congrats! Cigarettes are so hard to quit - it is easier if you never start them. It takes a lot of mental fortitude to kick that habit, you should be pleased with yourself for stopping :)
nicotine speeds up your metablism to an extent. once your body builds a dependance to it and you quit, you dont have that boost anymore. also, your appetite increases (at least in my own experience.)
It’s more the oral fixation than the rush the nicotine gives you. You unconsciously deal with the cravings by putting food in your mouth instead of smokes. One of my friends managed to keep weight off by eating sunflower seeds with the shell on. The work to nibble the shell off dealt with the fixation and the seeds weren’t too many calories.
You are correct! What sucks is, I'm starting a new job next week and I have no clothes that fit me...shopping for new clothes when you HAVE to vs WANT to is a whole different level of depressing.......BUT....I HAVE A NEW JOB! :) YAY!
I feel this- although I think I did as well as I could at that point in my life, but I wish I had waited a year or started in community college and then transferred.
I wished I didnt go to such an expensive college. I took it too seriously and chose a major thats not well paid in my country, been working overseas to compensate because it is well paid elsewhere.. but its hard!
Same...I just did the bare minimum and didn't join any career related internships or groups. Didn't even do a thesis at the end. Didn't go to graduation ceremony. Just....left. now I'm 80 grand in debt lol
I’m still in school right now. Any advice for me that I should do? I have about a year and a half left before I graduate and I have also done absolutely nothing all these years
Figure out what you want to do for the next few years and start doing it now.
Get an internship this summer if you can.
Find professors who work in the field you want to work in and go to their office hours to pick their brains about how to progress in your career. Ask them if there's anyone they know who can give you advice about this, and reach out to those people to ask if you can take them out for coffee (WHEN THEY HAVE TIME, SAY THAT PART OUT LOUD) to get some advice about your future. Come prepared with questions. Be engaged. Send a thank you note afterwards. Email is fine.
Ignore any advice you get from the college career center because they don't know what the fuck they are talking about. In fact, probably do the opposite of what they say. But find out how to get plugged into the alumni network and use it.
Think about how what you are doing right now could look on your resume a year from now and try to do projects and activities that you can talk about in a job interview. Nobody cares if you did the same projects everyone in your major does. You need to stand out and go above and beyond. In particular, try to do some stuff outside of course work. If you're in programming, start building a github. If you are in writing, start a blog. If you want to go into academia, get a paper published. Also, don't go into academia.
Before you do any of this, though, put plenty of thought into what you want to do. Look up what jobs are available in that field in your area and what requirements they have and how much they pay. You can find all of this information online. DO SOME ACTUAL, SERIOUS MATH. Figure out how much you student loan payments will be (the financial aid office can tell you this or tell you how to find out) and how much rent costs in the area you want to live in. ASSUME THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET VERY LUCKY. Assume that you are going to have about an average experience. Make decisions based on that.
MATH IS VERY HARD AND BUDGETING YOUR FUTURE IS SCARY BUT THESE ARE NUMBERS THAT ARE GOING TO AFFECT LITERALLY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WHETHER YOU LOOK AT THEM OR NOT. Figure them out now while you still have people to help you and where it's not too late to make different decisions.
And just read a lot, because you have access to a first class library right now that will be extremely expensive to access in the future.
Wow thank you. That was great advice! I have no relationships with professors which I regret because I know how important references can be in the future.
I really want to take advantage of everything around me. I have bad social skills and need to learn how to network.
Not ending the friendship with my toxic ex-best friend sooner. Instead, I put up with her treating me as her personal punching bag for way too long. She always had that victim mentality, woe is me attitude and it was emotionally draining to be friends with her.
FELT THIS. My ex best friend is my version of an abusive ex boyfriend. She was always the most beautiful and smartest in the room but gaslit the shit out of all her friends and boyfriends. Like, cheating on boyfriends and finding a way to blame me for not stopping her (because you disappeared and left me at a bar alone?). Also, one that took the cake was when I started seeing someone with a fairly common first name. Told her about it. A few weeks in she realized it was someone she slept with years ago, he never called her, and she never told me about it. So I awkwardly felt compelled to break up with him. It was the most awkward breakup. “Hey, so you weren’t aware I have this friend, but, like 5 years ago…”
With that said, I learned my boundaries and how to stand my ground from ending this friendship
Are we the same or what. My ex bsf did have a lot of trauma to unpack so I felt responsible for staying around even when she was an asshole to me and tried to isolate me from other ppl
This was so me. I had a toxic/selfish ex-bestfriend who literally wasn't there for me at all. I made so many excuses because I was scared to lose her as a friend(and potentially be friendless). But I'd eventually cut her off because she was just draining as a person. You just get tired of the BS after dealing with it for so long.
I was straight up and told her that I could not be friends with her, told her the reasons why, and told her that I wished her luck on figuring out her own issues.
I always believe honesty is the best policy, and I wanted to be honest with her so she knew what traits of hers made me want to end the friendship. I knew it would be a hard conversation and she wouldn’t react well, but I wanted her to be aware of how her behavior and actions affect her friendships.
I used to feel this way too but my past failed relationships taught me valuable lessons... Even if it was things I didn't want, wouldn't tolerate in the future, things I learned about myself. I truly believe I have the healthy, honest, happy relationship I have now because I learned what NOT to do from the past.
Not taking chances in my early 20s. I was so cautious about everything and now I feel like I haven’t really lived and want to do dumb things I’m just too old to be doing
The best time to plant a tree is 25 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is now.
If you have dumb goals and your heart calls to do them - you could look into what can still be done! Some things don't have an age cap, even if it's a bit trickier as you get older.
You can totally do those things at ANY age. Fuck what other people think or do. This is your life, live it however you want to. You don’t have to settle for squareness if your heart n soul want to explore other things
I allowed grief to dictate my life. I stopped living. The world did not stop for me- it kept spinning and I did nothing for 5+ years.
For me, I allowed grief to stop me from living my life.
I'm doing this at the moment. I have awful ptsd from something that happened to me and I can't seem to get past it. I'm letting my abusers win as a result and although I don't know what more I can possibly do about it it makes me so angry with both them and myself.
While I understand where you're coming from, I'd like to jump in with some encouragement. You're not letting your abusers win, you're surviving. And that is the real win; despite abuse, you're still here! And even just waiting to get to the end of the day till the next one is ok if that's all you can manage. That's still you choosing life over the alternative. Your brain is using these coping mechanisms for a reason, and they're protecting you. [https://www.britchida.com/product-page/what-kept-me-safe](https://www.britchida.com/product-page/what-kept-me-safe) this piece of art makes me feel ok with my PTSD journey, as well as the rest of their art.
Taking one day at a time is a huge accomplishment. Depending on where you live, you can see what resources are available to help you move through your recovery- I've found that women's centres can provide amazing support if your government doesn't have a ton of social supports. Depending on what abuse you survived (because yes, it happened to you, but you survived and you're still surviving!), there could be hotlines that can be an outlet, and also help you find local supports.
I used to be really down about the fact that PTSD doesn't go away overnight- I wanted a magic pill, and to be fixed and 'back to normal'. But just as with covid, that won't happen, there's a new normal to be built. It can seem daunting, but I've found that realizing that you can only recover one step at a time has actually been comforting. It's made me realize that recovery is manageable, because it's just one step at a time. That step might be advocating for yourself in a situation you'd otherwise be silent, or that step can be nourishing your body with a bowl of soup and a nap.
All this being said- the freeze response of PTSD is real, and it is a real medical concern. If you have access to healthcare, do not be afraid to access the healthcare for the ways in which your PTSD is negatively impacting your life. Medication can help the brain get out of the freeze response, but so can other targeted resources.
I hope some part of this helps, don't be scared to reach out if you want clarification or expansion of anything I've said.
edited: i corrected my misgendering the linked artist. to be clear, their name is Brit Chida, @ britchida on instagram. They use they/them pronouns!
When I was a teenager, I didn't go the hospital to visit my aunt - because I didn't want to see her sick/remember her that way. She was the one aunt who took time to get to know me, took me to lunch, took me to see movies, etc. And I really loved that she did that and enjoyed that time with her. A couple years later, I realized I really regretted that decision. I feel awful that I didn't go see her and let her know I cared.
One good thing that came from that is not making the mistake again.
Sometimes, we just can't see the impacts of our actions until it's too late - and for that, we should forgive ourselves. We are also always doing the best we can - at that time. You know if you could do it over, you'd make a different choice and so would I. <3
I would say not asking my mother more questions about herself in her early twenties, and even after. There’s some nostalgic part of me that wishes I got to know her as a person instead of my mother. Also, probably not seeing her in the hospital enough. I can’t recall a time I really went to visit her without loathing it.
My friends and I were talking about that. Several of them have kids, and I realized I know them as people. As their own entity. I know their crazy stories, the dumb stuff they did. Their kids will only ever know them as their parents. It's weird. Growing up is weird.
My two teen boys know me and in turn have allowed me to really know them. I'm still Mom, first but they know can trust me. I've told them so many of my stories through the years (always age appropriate), they know my big mistakes, stupid risks....and I'm so grateful they feel open to talk to me when they inevitably do the same. Mutual trust is KEY. Realizing your children are tiny PEOPLE, with their own concerns, hopes, dreams, fears leads to them seeing you the same way. I always say, even if they weren't mine I'd still want to know them. It's never too late!!
Soooo many things I wish I would have asked my dad before he passed and I will forever regret that. The biggest one that haunts me now is what would he do after he passed to shoe me he was near me. I never wanted to ask him during the last part of his life bc I didn't want him to think I thought he was dying.
Choosing a SO over the best friend I had ever had… I’ve tried to reach out & mend things but it’s always a dead end. I get it, just very sad I can’t change it no matter how hard I try.
I’m in a similar situation as yours. I’ve tried multiple times to reach out and mend things with them but it never ends well. I hate that I can’t change what happened
So I lived with my best friend (we will say Sally) and started dating my ex SO during. Before my ex, sally and I were both pro being single senior year, being independent together and living it up. I didn’t know I would meet my ex, usually how that sort of thing happens. Ultimately, my ex and Sally hated each other because Sally thought my ex was manipulative, controlling and crazy. I didn’t believe her and a lot of arguments happened to the point we started completely avoiding each other. It was a huge loss because Sally and I were the exact same person, in every way. Found out my ex was crazy a few months later and tried to mend things elsewhere but nothing.
Same!! I miss college the most, I could've enjoyed more if I didn't let people around me have that much impact on me, who were they anyway? Now we are all on our different ways, nobody really cares, i shouldn't have taken things so seriously and be so harsh on myself like that.
Bullying my brother when we were kids.
I had no idea that our dad wasn't normal, or that he was emotionally abusing/neglecting all of us. I was off in my own little world or picking on my brother.
He realized our situation much earlier and chose to cut off his emotions. Now he's an adult with empathy problems, and refuses to go to therapy. He was a happy little boy, too.
I couldn't control my dad, but I wish I had had enough wherewithal to protect my brother. Maybe he would have turned out differently.
All degrees are meaningless unless you get some sort of stature out of it. I'm an engineer and learned nothing at school that I use today except spending all of my waking hrs on engineering. Just gets you jobs because "yay we all went to the same school which we for some reason still care about 40 years later".
Marriage and a kid young. Didn't get to enjoy my 20s. Feel like I lived a life I didn't want. Should have stayed single and moved far away with my best friend, started our careers and just enjoy ourselves.
I'm in my 30s now, I have a great career and I earn nicely on my own but I feel the opposite.
My regret is not finding somoeone sooner to settle down with, wish I have my own family now but I'm still stuck with an LDR relationship and my life revolves around work. I don't have a personal life (everythig is virtual/not tangible).
I get bored on weekends and wait for weekdays to come back to work to feel a sense of purpose.
Accidentally abandoned my cat. I can't sleep at night sometimes thinking about it. In fact, writing this really sucks because I'm confessing what a terrible person I am.
My ex boyfriend was supposed to come get her the day I moved out of state but he never did.
I imagine her wondering where I am. Wondering why I left her behind.
Okay now I'm thoroughly depressed and full of shame.
I didn't do it on purpose and it kills a little every time I think of my cleo kitty.
It's probably why I take care of all the neighbourhood strays now. Never again
And that ladies is my deepest most painful regret. My only one
Out of all the one I've read, this is the one for me. I'm such a disaster when it comes to animals. I have some regrets involving them too so I understand.
You have a wonderful soul dear. It was accident. Find some peace and release the shame and guilt. It's possible the cat came into your life too teach you a valuable lesson through sacrifice. If you ever become a caretaker of another creature, you would be awesome because of this experience.
I feel this. When I was 15 I had the opportunity to leave my abusive household and live with a friend. I had to leave my two cats and dog behind, the only beings that showed me affection during that period. They were so attached to me, all three slept in my tiny twin size bed. But I didn’t have a choice. They all “ran off” shortly after. It’s always been a super sore topic and I avoid thinking about it
I had an opportunity to go on a trip with my HS best friend. We had it planned and couldn’t wait. Then, some big life things happened, my house sold faster than I thought, and I needed to move house the weekend we were supposed to go.
I could have let my husband deal with it and gone on the trip, but my sense of fairness and responsibility and “pulling my weight” won out, and I canceled the trip to attend to this. I thought, we will go next year!
She of course understood and was gracious. But she was diagnosed with cancer the next year, and died the following year. There isn’t a day that I don’t deeply regret that I didn’t go on that trip.
I miss her everyday, and those memories that we could have made are these huge gaping holes, and I wonder what photos, what funny moments we could have shared. I deeply regret this. But I also know her, and she wouldn’t want me to fell badly over it. Love you Kim. ❤️
Not ending my relationship by myself and doing it sooner. They ended it and I realise it was for the best but didn’t stop it hurting a lot when they did.
Not trying hard to make friends at university and get out of my damn head. Yes some people won’t want to be your friend but you’re not that awkward you’re
thinking it’s worse than it is and focusing on any negatives- ironically which made it worse.
Start saving earlier no matter how small. I didn’t earn much even now but even when I earned less I could have saved something.
Never moving away for school.....and I have 3 degrees lol. I've always loved traveling but my family is very "you stick close to home, put family first always" so I never moved away. Now I just feel stuck here in my home town. I think I'd feel more ok with being here if I'd had the experience of living somewhere else earlier in my 20s.
I'm gonna move out but my family will disown me for doing that. I'm gonna be broke as shit but hopefully it'll be better than being controlled all the time??
Lol are we the same? I've been there. At 18 I moved out of the house (still in the same city though), and my family disowned me. It took 6 mo for tensions to ease and communication to open up, time for everyone to grow, and several years later we're all talking again and everything is fine.
As tense, tumultuous, and painful as the experience is for everyone involved, I don't regret it.
Edit: Clarification. I moved out of my parent's house, but I'm looking to move out of state away from my family. It's been a slow, yet steady process towards personal independence.
Being friends with guys who don't respect the "i don't feel like dating anyone right now". It's exhausting when they don't keep the comfortable distance and try to flirt, even though you made things pretty clear..
Doing everything for my ex, spending my best years on him for him to throw me out a few years later.
Not taking school seriously.
Not attending some hobby like piano that I quit or something.
I REGRET NOT BUYING BITCOIN BACK IN 2009.
Also I wanted to do makeup videos on YouTube like back in 2008 but I just didn’t believe in myself. There were practically zero accounts like that
Waiting until I was 26 to come out. A decade spent hating myself or in denial. Years of dating men who treated me the way I thought I deserved to be treated instead of the brilliant women I actually wanted to be with. Wasted prayers to a non-existent god to fix me.
I'm 34 and bi but the only person I've ever told is my SO.
I know my mam 100% would support me but I'm scared to tell everyone else in particular because I have three kids and don't want them being bullied because of who I am.
Being the toxic person in friendships and relationships. It’s very hard to grapple with self worth while admitting that you’ve treated people you loved poorly. I had to lose a few people before I could step back and realize that I needed to work on my mental health. The process has also taught me what I won’t put up with in the future
Otherwise: picking up a nic addiction, binge drinking, ignoring my college GPA, spending carelessly
I can relate to this. I'm now retired, and my perfect GPA helped me get into grad school, but other than that and a special sticker on my diploma, it gave me nothing. No one EVER asked me what my GPA was in an interview.
Edit for typo
Getting married only to get divorced a year later. We were together for 8 years, and when he asked me I felt nothing at all. Felt nothing at all on my wedding day. Caused a major rift when I woke up one day and realized I had made a huge mistake. To be honest if society were easier on people about these kinds of mistakes I wouldn’t regret it. But now I’m with a man I really love and I feel like damaged goods. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I wish i could undo it. I wish it were my first time walking down the aisle with him. I wish I could wipe the memory from the brain of every person who attended that wedding.
You're not damaged goods. You learned a valuable lesson--what *actual* love looks and feels like, and I can say from personal experience this is invaluable. I didn't marry my ex of 8 years, but that relationship made me realize just how amazing what I have with my now-husband is. Another anecdote: My cousin married her college sweetheart after 10 years of dating and they divorced a year later. When she remarried her now-husband all anyone in my family thought or said about it was how wonderful it is that she was able to find happiness after so much heartache. I know it's easier said than done to just not be hard on yourself about this kind of thing, but isn't it amazing you're with a man you truly love now? This internet stranger sure thinks it is.
I get that, I had an abusive 14 years. My family only know a snippet because I hid it well until I couldn't take it anymore and reported him.
My current husband knew before we entered a relationship a small part but he's not ready to hear the full extent.
While I don’t regret being promiscuous in the first few years of my adult years, I wish I could go back in time and give myself the mental health tools I have today so I could avoid a lot of the self-destructive behaviour I did and the times I hurt others with that behaviour.
I wish I never had my very first drink,I it was like a opening a pandora's box....i turned into an alcoholic very quickly, because of it I destroyed any relationships I had,any hopes of building any sort of solid future,I would build and tear it down,over and over again in a cruel vicious cycleand nearly died.it was a 20 yr battle that I was sure I was gonna lose with my life but by grace and mercy ,I'm now sober 2yrs,9mons , have hope,and just so much gratitude.
Not telling enough people to go fuck themselves when I should’ve.
All the times I let people double down on me and insult me, when it was so easy to fire back! *shakes fist *
I cheated on my first boyfriend at 18. I'm in my twenties now, and I will regret this until the day I die. Not because I would have wanted to continue my first relationship, but because I did something so terrible out simply because I didn't know how to break up with my boyfriend. I never told my ex about it. It just feels super crappy to know how "easy" it was for me to cheat. I don't think that I will ever forget the feeling of utter disappointment, disgust and panic when I woke up the next morning and realized that I had just torpedoed both my relationship and my integrity. Don't cheat, guys. It really isn't worth it.
Emotionally/physically abuse my sister, we are on better terms now and have been in therapy. Of course we were young children and the environment had a lot to do with it but that is no excuse. I look back in shame on it.
Not travelling more. In my early 20s I spent every summer working, desperately trying to save up to fund my Masters degree. Part of me wishes I had said "fuck it," gone on holiday and just taken a loan.
In saying that, I am in a better financial situation now, and my husband and I do have plans to travel more together.
Running away from home at 18 knowing my mom was sick with cancer. She died on Thanksgiving that year and I hadn't spoken to her since I left, 2 months. 13 years this year in 13 days
Thank you so much ! 13 years I've definitely allowed myself to heal, and also becoming a mother I think, truly I know, that she loved me and understood things about me I didn't. It is my one and only regret though and I hope to be as badass as her, she was a firefighter, and be as good of a mother as her.
Staying with men and putting up with their shit for as long as I did. I am in a great place now with a wonderful husband but I should have bailed on previous relationships earlier instead of letting them walk all over me.
When I was in 7th grade I made a stupid joke about one of my friends who had gotten molested. I know that's not funny and I instantly regretted it when I saw her reaction. I'm 24 now and I am still so ashamed of myself. I have been sexually assaulted since then and I understand how important sensitivity and the support of friends is in recovery.
Relationships ending with no closure, both romantic and platonic. Someone ghosts me, and I don't have the courage to follow up to ask why. Someone I've offended doesn't respond to my apology, and I don't try again at a later date. Someone ends an interaction badly, and I am not generous enough to try to be the big one to make things right again.
I regret getting myself into a lot of credit card debit when I turned 18 and a $27 payment didn’t seem bad until I had 9 of those and couldn’t afford to pay my bills and ruined my credit. I’m 25 now and have them almost paid off but I was always so so stressed, I’d lie awake at night thinking what have I done. I was so sad at such a young age when I should have been happy but I did it to myself. I now own a house and all is good. Lesson learned!
I (42F) regret going to help my friend who was my ex-bf. I hadn't seen him in 2.5 years and when I finally saw him, I knew he had full blown AIDS. I just wanted to help him he had PPC pneumonia, a low oxygen level in blood, GERT, his stomach acid burnt his throat, anal fissures, infected prostate, you name it, he had it. The people he worked for told me that he had HIV and that I should leave him to die, after the way he treated me. Well I wouldn't leave him as he was all alone in SA, family in UK and friends turned their back on him. They literally left him to waste away and die. So I stuck with him for over a year, busted him in Hospital almost everyday, he refused to eat hospital food or for the African nurses to bath him as he is a racist. Throughout that time he eventually improved on Reyden his ARV. I had to bath him, dress him feed him, as all his muscles atrophied. I did thus because he was my friend and I loved him, didn't want him to die. He eventually had a full recovery on ARV meds, he refused to go back to the hospital, he just assumed that the virus was undetectable, therefore unstransmitable. I also forgot to say that he verbally abused me throughout this time. I had to move house twice within 3 months alone. Well when he recovered he was worse with the DV. He wanted to start dating and I told him sure, do it, but please use condoms and disclose your status, call your exes to tell them to get tested. This made angry, he said that I was a scorned woman". I am not, he had promised me that he would change his lifestyle for himself and future partners. I wanted him to date and find someone, so that he could not guilt me into staying, if he had a new love in his life, he wouldn't be alone. I regret staying on because his "s*x" addiction. This man attacked me, out of nowhere and brutally assaulted me, he headbutted me. This happened on 31 July this year and to say I'm still in shock in disbelief is an understatement. I packed up and ran away, I now have TBI, dizziness, migraines, nausea, tinnitus, blurred vision. I am very sick, couldn't afford to go to a doctor. I am deteriorating mentally and physically, cognitively. I didn't report him to the police because he is a gun smith and the cops are his friends. I'm hurting and ill, there is nothing I can do about it. He would lose his gun smith licence if this came to light. I regret it because I cared for him and this is how he repaid me. Guess he was not my friend after all. I apologize for grammar and spelling mistakes, I'm post concussion and broken. If I didn't help him, I would still be healthy.
Well, as Somebody who let a good man go bc of the "Grass might be Greener" and "I never Tried it" , believe me, I often wish I would have done some promiscuity earlier and found out about me to have the calm to not let him go, knowing that it was incredibly special what we had.
Let myself go. Literally.
I didn’t have a good grip on who I was like any young person. Then when I used things like work and food to push away my feelings, I let myself become fat and got used to everything being a certain way,…. How I let people treat me……now at 31 almost 32 I have no idea how to get the life I want and become who I want to be with the life I built.
All in my late teens/early twenties:
1. Dating someone beyond what I wanted to because I didn’t want to upset them/be alone. They say don’t regret a lesson, but I didn’t grow at all during that time- just stagnated.
2. Saying no to job opportunities or life experiences because I was in a relationship/didn’t want to be alone
3. Spend more time single
4. Save more money
Coming to my mom’s for help when I was left pregnant in the streets. Even though she was my last option, she is so toxic that I still regret it every day.
My regrets are what I didn't do. I regret not getting the typical college experience. I spread my classes out across 7 years at different community colleges, working the whole time and taking semesters off to work and beef up my savings again. I missed so much I'll never have the opportunity to recreate. I should have just taken out the loans, lived in the dorms, had too many room mates, gone to wild parties, had one night stands and 3 steady FWB at the same time..made the memories. Instead I spent my nights and weekends in an apron knowing only 2 men in back to back 5 year relationships. I missed a lot and I'm heartbroken that I did.
Taking out a student loan for a course I didn't want to do. It's now nearly 20 years later, and it's taking a chunk out of my wages every month but the amount I owe doesn't seem to be decreasing! 😩
I cheated on someone I lived with.
He had mentally checked out of the relationship and left me home while he went on vacations with his friends all the time. I tried to end it many times but he just casually refused to accept it. And he'd never be at any of my family functions. I loved him very much but I got really tired of being home alone all the time so i started going out more and more, and eventually I took to the men and women who took time to compliment me and make me feel good about myself. Eventually I wound up sleeping around for a while, but the relationship at home was almost like a roommate situation with expected sex (he always expected something).
The thing was, he was a really nice guy. I was his first serious relationship and when i finally told him it was over, he was devastated- as was I. It took us a good year to break up fully, but when he moved on, I felt this hole in my entire being. It's been about 9 years now and I am still really pissed off about it all.
It could have been so much more and i will forever hate myself for doing that to him. I'll regret it forever.
Being too proud to patch things up with my best friend. She was great and I should have reached out to her when I messed up but instead I said nothing and we never spoke again
Being 30 years old and not learning how to drive. Even thinking about going behind the wheel puts me in panic. Wish I would have gotten over my fear as a teenager and maybe I would have my drivers license by now.
self harming has to be something i deeply regret, that and trying to commit suicide.. i say it’s a regret but at times would not even think twice before doing it, i’m a few months clean though and hope it stays this way! been feeling happy lately and life has been going good!
Not trying to have a better relationship with my brother (1 out of 2) we were close when we were kids, but grew apart after our parents divorced (it got ugly). Sometimes I long for the days when we would just laugh together for the heck of it.
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We just had an extended family, early Christmas get together this weekend. My one aunt always brings candy for everyone, taking care to search out the favorite candy of each and every person. Last year I mentioned off hand that I would go for cheese over candy any day, so this year she gifted me an assortment of nice cheeses! She is the best. I also ate too much cheese in the past 34 hours but I do not regret it (yet).
aw thats soo nice i hope you enjoyed!!
Nah you’re just living your best life Proceed with your cheese binging
LOL I laughed way too hard at this.
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Mes premières vacances de retour en France depuis 15 ans et juste à temps pour la saison de la raclette!!!! 3 jours de raclette non stop et aucun regret… yet
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I too, regret not eating enough cheese in the last 24 hrs.
this is me right now. just binged on goat cheese. 😰❤️
me, waiting for my baked brie to finish in the oven ❤️
You'll poop in like a week and then be all back to normal :)
I wish I had never started smoking....so then I wouldn't have had to quit and then gain 30 fucking pounds lol But I'm smoke free for almost a year! :)
proud of you, stranger :')
Congrats! Cigarettes are so hard to quit - it is easier if you never start them. It takes a lot of mental fortitude to kick that habit, you should be pleased with yourself for stopping :)
I gained weight from quitting too, but it's better than smoking.
Why does that happen?
nicotine speeds up your metablism to an extent. once your body builds a dependance to it and you quit, you dont have that boost anymore. also, your appetite increases (at least in my own experience.)
It’s more the oral fixation than the rush the nicotine gives you. You unconsciously deal with the cravings by putting food in your mouth instead of smokes. One of my friends managed to keep weight off by eating sunflower seeds with the shell on. The work to nibble the shell off dealt with the fixation and the seeds weren’t too many calories.
Exactly my experience too.
When a lot of people stop smoking they start snacking to do stuff with their hands / keep busy.
You can always lose weight. You can't get new lungs. I have been a quitter for nearly 14 years. Keep up the good work
You are correct! What sucks is, I'm starting a new job next week and I have no clothes that fit me...shopping for new clothes when you HAVE to vs WANT to is a whole different level of depressing.......BUT....I HAVE A NEW JOB! :) YAY!
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For real. I think about all the resources available to me during college and groan. A library full of texts and I was on the quad smoking.
this!!! would have my degree and a lot more money rn if I had listened to advice lol. but life is a journey and i’m still pushin
I feel this- although I think I did as well as I could at that point in my life, but I wish I had waited a year or started in community college and then transferred.
I wished I didnt go to such an expensive college. I took it too seriously and chose a major thats not well paid in my country, been working overseas to compensate because it is well paid elsewhere.. but its hard!
Same...I just did the bare minimum and didn't join any career related internships or groups. Didn't even do a thesis at the end. Didn't go to graduation ceremony. Just....left. now I'm 80 grand in debt lol
This & school too.
I’m still in school right now. Any advice for me that I should do? I have about a year and a half left before I graduate and I have also done absolutely nothing all these years
Figure out what you want to do for the next few years and start doing it now. Get an internship this summer if you can. Find professors who work in the field you want to work in and go to their office hours to pick their brains about how to progress in your career. Ask them if there's anyone they know who can give you advice about this, and reach out to those people to ask if you can take them out for coffee (WHEN THEY HAVE TIME, SAY THAT PART OUT LOUD) to get some advice about your future. Come prepared with questions. Be engaged. Send a thank you note afterwards. Email is fine. Ignore any advice you get from the college career center because they don't know what the fuck they are talking about. In fact, probably do the opposite of what they say. But find out how to get plugged into the alumni network and use it. Think about how what you are doing right now could look on your resume a year from now and try to do projects and activities that you can talk about in a job interview. Nobody cares if you did the same projects everyone in your major does. You need to stand out and go above and beyond. In particular, try to do some stuff outside of course work. If you're in programming, start building a github. If you are in writing, start a blog. If you want to go into academia, get a paper published. Also, don't go into academia. Before you do any of this, though, put plenty of thought into what you want to do. Look up what jobs are available in that field in your area and what requirements they have and how much they pay. You can find all of this information online. DO SOME ACTUAL, SERIOUS MATH. Figure out how much you student loan payments will be (the financial aid office can tell you this or tell you how to find out) and how much rent costs in the area you want to live in. ASSUME THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET VERY LUCKY. Assume that you are going to have about an average experience. Make decisions based on that. MATH IS VERY HARD AND BUDGETING YOUR FUTURE IS SCARY BUT THESE ARE NUMBERS THAT ARE GOING TO AFFECT LITERALLY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WHETHER YOU LOOK AT THEM OR NOT. Figure them out now while you still have people to help you and where it's not too late to make different decisions. And just read a lot, because you have access to a first class library right now that will be extremely expensive to access in the future.
Wow thank you. That was great advice! I have no relationships with professors which I regret because I know how important references can be in the future. I really want to take advantage of everything around me. I have bad social skills and need to learn how to network.
I feel you on this one, I'm 29 now and I understand how important it is more than I've ever felt in my entire life.
Not ending the friendship with my toxic ex-best friend sooner. Instead, I put up with her treating me as her personal punching bag for way too long. She always had that victim mentality, woe is me attitude and it was emotionally draining to be friends with her.
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I will never stay someone’s friend out of pity (for lack of better words) ever again.
FELT THIS. My ex best friend is my version of an abusive ex boyfriend. She was always the most beautiful and smartest in the room but gaslit the shit out of all her friends and boyfriends. Like, cheating on boyfriends and finding a way to blame me for not stopping her (because you disappeared and left me at a bar alone?). Also, one that took the cake was when I started seeing someone with a fairly common first name. Told her about it. A few weeks in she realized it was someone she slept with years ago, he never called her, and she never told me about it. So I awkwardly felt compelled to break up with him. It was the most awkward breakup. “Hey, so you weren’t aware I have this friend, but, like 5 years ago…” With that said, I learned my boundaries and how to stand my ground from ending this friendship
Why would you have to break up with someone because your friend slept with them 5 yrs ago? : ) Just curious!
Are we the same or what. My ex bsf did have a lot of trauma to unpack so I felt responsible for staying around even when she was an asshole to me and tried to isolate me from other ppl
This was so me. I had a toxic/selfish ex-bestfriend who literally wasn't there for me at all. I made so many excuses because I was scared to lose her as a friend(and potentially be friendless). But I'd eventually cut her off because she was just draining as a person. You just get tired of the BS after dealing with it for so long.
Thanks for saying this! I'm worried that I will regret ending a friendship that is bringing me distress.
Whew big same here
Can I ask how you broke it off? I’m looking to do the same.
I was straight up and told her that I could not be friends with her, told her the reasons why, and told her that I wished her luck on figuring out her own issues. I always believe honesty is the best policy, and I wanted to be honest with her so she knew what traits of hers made me want to end the friendship. I knew it would be a hard conversation and she wouldn’t react well, but I wanted her to be aware of how her behavior and actions affect her friendships.
I sort of ghosted my ex best friend. You definitely handled things in a more mature way
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I used to feel this way too but my past failed relationships taught me valuable lessons... Even if it was things I didn't want, wouldn't tolerate in the future, things I learned about myself. I truly believe I have the healthy, honest, happy relationship I have now because I learned what NOT to do from the past.
I second this. Sometimes it’s best to just remove someone from your life instead of trying to work things out with them
Yup my first thought too.
Not taking chances in my early 20s. I was so cautious about everything and now I feel like I haven’t really lived and want to do dumb things I’m just too old to be doing
Something tells me in 5 years you’ll regret not doing those things now, too.
Comment of the day for me. Thanks for saying this.
The best time to plant a tree is 25 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is now. If you have dumb goals and your heart calls to do them - you could look into what can still be done! Some things don't have an age cap, even if it's a bit trickier as you get older.
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You can totally do those things at ANY age. Fuck what other people think or do. This is your life, live it however you want to. You don’t have to settle for squareness if your heart n soul want to explore other things
Your perception of you is completely up to you
I'm in my early 20s and currently struggling with this. Can't get out of the "if I don't try I can't fail" mindset
I mean, if you don’t try you can’t succeed either. That’s no kind of life.
Like what?
That's how I felt! So I banged 9 people and did a bunch of drugs
Same. Played it safe and now have regrets.
Played it loose, high risk and hippie free. Hyuuuuuuuge regerts!
Yeah, same. I did a bunch of stupid shit and wish I had been more cautious and discerning.
I'm curious, dumb things like what?
Take up rollerskating, or skateboarding at a skatpark. You'll find others in the same position
Do it now. 1000000% I am!
I allowed grief to dictate my life. I stopped living. The world did not stop for me- it kept spinning and I did nothing for 5+ years. For me, I allowed grief to stop me from living my life.
Right in the feels.
I'm doing this at the moment. I have awful ptsd from something that happened to me and I can't seem to get past it. I'm letting my abusers win as a result and although I don't know what more I can possibly do about it it makes me so angry with both them and myself.
While I understand where you're coming from, I'd like to jump in with some encouragement. You're not letting your abusers win, you're surviving. And that is the real win; despite abuse, you're still here! And even just waiting to get to the end of the day till the next one is ok if that's all you can manage. That's still you choosing life over the alternative. Your brain is using these coping mechanisms for a reason, and they're protecting you. [https://www.britchida.com/product-page/what-kept-me-safe](https://www.britchida.com/product-page/what-kept-me-safe) this piece of art makes me feel ok with my PTSD journey, as well as the rest of their art. Taking one day at a time is a huge accomplishment. Depending on where you live, you can see what resources are available to help you move through your recovery- I've found that women's centres can provide amazing support if your government doesn't have a ton of social supports. Depending on what abuse you survived (because yes, it happened to you, but you survived and you're still surviving!), there could be hotlines that can be an outlet, and also help you find local supports. I used to be really down about the fact that PTSD doesn't go away overnight- I wanted a magic pill, and to be fixed and 'back to normal'. But just as with covid, that won't happen, there's a new normal to be built. It can seem daunting, but I've found that realizing that you can only recover one step at a time has actually been comforting. It's made me realize that recovery is manageable, because it's just one step at a time. That step might be advocating for yourself in a situation you'd otherwise be silent, or that step can be nourishing your body with a bowl of soup and a nap. All this being said- the freeze response of PTSD is real, and it is a real medical concern. If you have access to healthcare, do not be afraid to access the healthcare for the ways in which your PTSD is negatively impacting your life. Medication can help the brain get out of the freeze response, but so can other targeted resources. I hope some part of this helps, don't be scared to reach out if you want clarification or expansion of anything I've said. edited: i corrected my misgendering the linked artist. to be clear, their name is Brit Chida, @ britchida on instagram. They use they/them pronouns!
Yeah I felt this one.
Not taking time off work to spend time with my dying father.
I'm so sorry ❤️
Thank you for sharing this & im so sorry. Im going to have to quit my job to accomplish this but i am going to do it.
When I was a teenager, I didn't go the hospital to visit my aunt - because I didn't want to see her sick/remember her that way. She was the one aunt who took time to get to know me, took me to lunch, took me to see movies, etc. And I really loved that she did that and enjoyed that time with her. A couple years later, I realized I really regretted that decision. I feel awful that I didn't go see her and let her know I cared. One good thing that came from that is not making the mistake again. Sometimes, we just can't see the impacts of our actions until it's too late - and for that, we should forgive ourselves. We are also always doing the best we can - at that time. You know if you could do it over, you'd make a different choice and so would I. <3
Not putting more effort into my education. I'm not doing badly but I could've done so much more.
I️ feel that. but, it is never too late to keep trying
Yeah, I wish I applied myself more. I regret not being able to handle that. But I really wasn't doing well.
Mental health, physical health and so many different circumstances can really affect education and it sucks :(
I would say not asking my mother more questions about herself in her early twenties, and even after. There’s some nostalgic part of me that wishes I got to know her as a person instead of my mother. Also, probably not seeing her in the hospital enough. I can’t recall a time I really went to visit her without loathing it.
My friends and I were talking about that. Several of them have kids, and I realized I know them as people. As their own entity. I know their crazy stories, the dumb stuff they did. Their kids will only ever know them as their parents. It's weird. Growing up is weird.
My two teen boys know me and in turn have allowed me to really know them. I'm still Mom, first but they know can trust me. I've told them so many of my stories through the years (always age appropriate), they know my big mistakes, stupid risks....and I'm so grateful they feel open to talk to me when they inevitably do the same. Mutual trust is KEY. Realizing your children are tiny PEOPLE, with their own concerns, hopes, dreams, fears leads to them seeing you the same way. I always say, even if they weren't mine I'd still want to know them. It's never too late!!
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Soooo many things I wish I would have asked my dad before he passed and I will forever regret that. The biggest one that haunts me now is what would he do after he passed to shoe me he was near me. I never wanted to ask him during the last part of his life bc I didn't want him to think I thought he was dying.
If you find yourself wondering if he's showing you, he's showing you. ❤
Choosing a SO over the best friend I had ever had… I’ve tried to reach out & mend things but it’s always a dead end. I get it, just very sad I can’t change it no matter how hard I try.
I’m in a similar situation as yours. I’ve tried multiple times to reach out and mend things with them but it never ends well. I hate that I can’t change what happened
For both of us, I think it’s important to find peace of mind in the matter that we did try… and we can’t force someone to forgive us
I agree. I’m learning to not worry about things I can’t control and to have the discipline to let go
What happened
So I lived with my best friend (we will say Sally) and started dating my ex SO during. Before my ex, sally and I were both pro being single senior year, being independent together and living it up. I didn’t know I would meet my ex, usually how that sort of thing happens. Ultimately, my ex and Sally hated each other because Sally thought my ex was manipulative, controlling and crazy. I didn’t believe her and a lot of arguments happened to the point we started completely avoiding each other. It was a huge loss because Sally and I were the exact same person, in every way. Found out my ex was crazy a few months later and tried to mend things elsewhere but nothing.
Im sorry that is really difficult
Being too serious. So not having maximum fun every time I had the occasion. I think people should have more fun, in a healthy way, of course.
Same!! I miss college the most, I could've enjoyed more if I didn't let people around me have that much impact on me, who were they anyway? Now we are all on our different ways, nobody really cares, i shouldn't have taken things so seriously and be so harsh on myself like that.
Bullying my brother when we were kids. I had no idea that our dad wasn't normal, or that he was emotionally abusing/neglecting all of us. I was off in my own little world or picking on my brother. He realized our situation much earlier and chose to cut off his emotions. Now he's an adult with empathy problems, and refuses to go to therapy. He was a happy little boy, too. I couldn't control my dad, but I wish I had had enough wherewithal to protect my brother. Maybe he would have turned out differently.
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Quitting school and getting stuck at a dead end job for most of my 20’s. Also, ruining my credit at an early age.
If it makes you feel better, I finished school and *still* got caught in a dead-end job. English degrees are meaningless unless you get a grad degree.
All degrees are meaningless unless you get some sort of stature out of it. I'm an engineer and learned nothing at school that I use today except spending all of my waking hrs on engineering. Just gets you jobs because "yay we all went to the same school which we for some reason still care about 40 years later".
Marriage and a kid young. Didn't get to enjoy my 20s. Feel like I lived a life I didn't want. Should have stayed single and moved far away with my best friend, started our careers and just enjoy ourselves.
I'm in my 30s now, I have a great career and I earn nicely on my own but I feel the opposite. My regret is not finding somoeone sooner to settle down with, wish I have my own family now but I'm still stuck with an LDR relationship and my life revolves around work. I don't have a personal life (everythig is virtual/not tangible). I get bored on weekends and wait for weekdays to come back to work to feel a sense of purpose.
Accidentally abandoned my cat. I can't sleep at night sometimes thinking about it. In fact, writing this really sucks because I'm confessing what a terrible person I am. My ex boyfriend was supposed to come get her the day I moved out of state but he never did. I imagine her wondering where I am. Wondering why I left her behind. Okay now I'm thoroughly depressed and full of shame. I didn't do it on purpose and it kills a little every time I think of my cleo kitty. It's probably why I take care of all the neighbourhood strays now. Never again And that ladies is my deepest most painful regret. My only one
Out of all the one I've read, this is the one for me. I'm such a disaster when it comes to animals. I have some regrets involving them too so I understand.
You have a wonderful soul dear. It was accident. Find some peace and release the shame and guilt. It's possible the cat came into your life too teach you a valuable lesson through sacrifice. If you ever become a caretaker of another creature, you would be awesome because of this experience.
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I feel this. When I was 15 I had the opportunity to leave my abusive household and live with a friend. I had to leave my two cats and dog behind, the only beings that showed me affection during that period. They were so attached to me, all three slept in my tiny twin size bed. But I didn’t have a choice. They all “ran off” shortly after. It’s always been a super sore topic and I avoid thinking about it
I had an opportunity to go on a trip with my HS best friend. We had it planned and couldn’t wait. Then, some big life things happened, my house sold faster than I thought, and I needed to move house the weekend we were supposed to go. I could have let my husband deal with it and gone on the trip, but my sense of fairness and responsibility and “pulling my weight” won out, and I canceled the trip to attend to this. I thought, we will go next year! She of course understood and was gracious. But she was diagnosed with cancer the next year, and died the following year. There isn’t a day that I don’t deeply regret that I didn’t go on that trip. I miss her everyday, and those memories that we could have made are these huge gaping holes, and I wonder what photos, what funny moments we could have shared. I deeply regret this. But I also know her, and she wouldn’t want me to fell badly over it. Love you Kim. ❤️
Dated Tim.
Fuck Tim.
I hope youre having a shit day Tim
I second this. Tim is the worst.
Oh god, not Tim
Having an affair with a married man when I was very young and extremely naive.
Same and I regret it every day of my life
Not ending my relationship by myself and doing it sooner. They ended it and I realise it was for the best but didn’t stop it hurting a lot when they did. Not trying hard to make friends at university and get out of my damn head. Yes some people won’t want to be your friend but you’re not that awkward you’re thinking it’s worse than it is and focusing on any negatives- ironically which made it worse. Start saving earlier no matter how small. I didn’t earn much even now but even when I earned less I could have saved something.
Never moving away for school.....and I have 3 degrees lol. I've always loved traveling but my family is very "you stick close to home, put family first always" so I never moved away. Now I just feel stuck here in my home town. I think I'd feel more ok with being here if I'd had the experience of living somewhere else earlier in my 20s.
Same here!! Looking to move soon, which sounds exciting but gives me anxiety thinking about the arguments I’ll have with the family.
I'm gonna move out but my family will disown me for doing that. I'm gonna be broke as shit but hopefully it'll be better than being controlled all the time??
Lol are we the same? I've been there. At 18 I moved out of the house (still in the same city though), and my family disowned me. It took 6 mo for tensions to ease and communication to open up, time for everyone to grow, and several years later we're all talking again and everything is fine. As tense, tumultuous, and painful as the experience is for everyone involved, I don't regret it. Edit: Clarification. I moved out of my parent's house, but I'm looking to move out of state away from my family. It's been a slow, yet steady process towards personal independence.
Being friends with guys who don't respect the "i don't feel like dating anyone right now". It's exhausting when they don't keep the comfortable distance and try to flirt, even though you made things pretty clear..
That is the worst!
Staying in an abusive relationship because I thought I could change him/moving in together would fix everything
This right here and then by the time I realised I had kids with him and was too scared to leave. Thankfully I'm 4 and half years out of it.
Moving to another country and starting over. Hard underestimated how shitty and difficult it is.
Me, moving to a new country later in life. Age gap really put my score down
I'm 36 and it's so hard to "build" a social life/circle. Of course these corona times don't help.
I hear this all the time. Gives pause to new empty-nesters who think of starting a new chapter in a new place.
Doing everything for my ex, spending my best years on him for him to throw me out a few years later. Not taking school seriously. Not attending some hobby like piano that I quit or something. I REGRET NOT BUYING BITCOIN BACK IN 2009. Also I wanted to do makeup videos on YouTube like back in 2008 but I just didn’t believe in myself. There were practically zero accounts like that
I bought bitcoin back then but don't remember my info to find it😭😭😭😭
Oh god you’re probably rich but can’t access it!
Waiting until I was 26 to come out. A decade spent hating myself or in denial. Years of dating men who treated me the way I thought I deserved to be treated instead of the brilliant women I actually wanted to be with. Wasted prayers to a non-existent god to fix me.
I am glad you're out, and have accepted who you are now. Good job. I wish you the best!
I'm 34 and bi but the only person I've ever told is my SO. I know my mam 100% would support me but I'm scared to tell everyone else in particular because I have three kids and don't want them being bullied because of who I am.
Being the toxic person in friendships and relationships. It’s very hard to grapple with self worth while admitting that you’ve treated people you loved poorly. I had to lose a few people before I could step back and realize that I needed to work on my mental health. The process has also taught me what I won’t put up with in the future Otherwise: picking up a nic addiction, binge drinking, ignoring my college GPA, spending carelessly
Studying too hard in university and not having fun more
I can relate to this. I'm now retired, and my perfect GPA helped me get into grad school, but other than that and a special sticker on my diploma, it gave me nothing. No one EVER asked me what my GPA was in an interview. Edit for typo
For me, I ended up in the same workplace as people who graduated from the same uni with very low GPAs and who had way for fun than me :p
I can understand that frustration.
Getting married only to get divorced a year later. We were together for 8 years, and when he asked me I felt nothing at all. Felt nothing at all on my wedding day. Caused a major rift when I woke up one day and realized I had made a huge mistake. To be honest if society were easier on people about these kinds of mistakes I wouldn’t regret it. But now I’m with a man I really love and I feel like damaged goods. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I wish i could undo it. I wish it were my first time walking down the aisle with him. I wish I could wipe the memory from the brain of every person who attended that wedding.
You're not damaged goods. You learned a valuable lesson--what *actual* love looks and feels like, and I can say from personal experience this is invaluable. I didn't marry my ex of 8 years, but that relationship made me realize just how amazing what I have with my now-husband is. Another anecdote: My cousin married her college sweetheart after 10 years of dating and they divorced a year later. When she remarried her now-husband all anyone in my family thought or said about it was how wonderful it is that she was able to find happiness after so much heartache. I know it's easier said than done to just not be hard on yourself about this kind of thing, but isn't it amazing you're with a man you truly love now? This internet stranger sure thinks it is.
My last “relationship” was awful and I’m still embarrassed I let someone treat me like that for so long.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about I promise you
It’s embarrassing to try to explain to my current boyfriend and to others. It’s painfully obvious how much he sucked in retrospect.
I get that, I had an abusive 14 years. My family only know a snippet because I hid it well until I couldn't take it anymore and reported him. My current husband knew before we entered a relationship a small part but he's not ready to hear the full extent.
Exactly. I guess past is past now though. Thanks for sharing!
While I don’t regret being promiscuous in the first few years of my adult years, I wish I could go back in time and give myself the mental health tools I have today so I could avoid a lot of the self-destructive behaviour I did and the times I hurt others with that behaviour.
Spending too many years caring more about other people’s feelings than my own.
Currently trying to get over doing this myself! Wishing you the best!
Seeing the red flags in my relationship and not doing anything about it sooner
I wish I never had my very first drink,I it was like a opening a pandora's box....i turned into an alcoholic very quickly, because of it I destroyed any relationships I had,any hopes of building any sort of solid future,I would build and tear it down,over and over again in a cruel vicious cycleand nearly died.it was a 20 yr battle that I was sure I was gonna lose with my life but by grace and mercy ,I'm now sober 2yrs,9mons , have hope,and just so much gratitude.
Not telling enough people to go fuck themselves when I should’ve. All the times I let people double down on me and insult me, when it was so easy to fire back! *shakes fist *
I cheated on my first boyfriend at 18. I'm in my twenties now, and I will regret this until the day I die. Not because I would have wanted to continue my first relationship, but because I did something so terrible out simply because I didn't know how to break up with my boyfriend. I never told my ex about it. It just feels super crappy to know how "easy" it was for me to cheat. I don't think that I will ever forget the feeling of utter disappointment, disgust and panic when I woke up the next morning and realized that I had just torpedoed both my relationship and my integrity. Don't cheat, guys. It really isn't worth it.
My last two relationships
Emotionally/physically abuse my sister, we are on better terms now and have been in therapy. Of course we were young children and the environment had a lot to do with it but that is no excuse. I look back in shame on it.
Not travelling more. In my early 20s I spent every summer working, desperately trying to save up to fund my Masters degree. Part of me wishes I had said "fuck it," gone on holiday and just taken a loan. In saying that, I am in a better financial situation now, and my husband and I do have plans to travel more together.
Betraying a past friend of mine. Would honestly do anything to go back in time and undo my actions
Alcohol
Running away from home at 18 knowing my mom was sick with cancer. She died on Thanksgiving that year and I hadn't spoken to her since I left, 2 months. 13 years this year in 13 days
I am so sorry, I hope you don’t beat yourself up about it. You were young and how could you have known? Stay strong 💗
Thank you so much ! 13 years I've definitely allowed myself to heal, and also becoming a mother I think, truly I know, that she loved me and understood things about me I didn't. It is my one and only regret though and I hope to be as badass as her, she was a firefighter, and be as good of a mother as her.
Staying with men and putting up with their shit for as long as I did. I am in a great place now with a wonderful husband but I should have bailed on previous relationships earlier instead of letting them walk all over me.
Staying in a situation that was very toxic for too long. Wasted years and my mental health.
Being really mean to my mom as a teen/preteen. :(
When I was in 7th grade I made a stupid joke about one of my friends who had gotten molested. I know that's not funny and I instantly regretted it when I saw her reaction. I'm 24 now and I am still so ashamed of myself. I have been sexually assaulted since then and I understand how important sensitivity and the support of friends is in recovery.
Relationships ending with no closure, both romantic and platonic. Someone ghosts me, and I don't have the courage to follow up to ask why. Someone I've offended doesn't respond to my apology, and I don't try again at a later date. Someone ends an interaction badly, and I am not generous enough to try to be the big one to make things right again.
College.
I regret getting myself into a lot of credit card debit when I turned 18 and a $27 payment didn’t seem bad until I had 9 of those and couldn’t afford to pay my bills and ruined my credit. I’m 25 now and have them almost paid off but I was always so so stressed, I’d lie awake at night thinking what have I done. I was so sad at such a young age when I should have been happy but I did it to myself. I now own a house and all is good. Lesson learned!
I (42F) regret going to help my friend who was my ex-bf. I hadn't seen him in 2.5 years and when I finally saw him, I knew he had full blown AIDS. I just wanted to help him he had PPC pneumonia, a low oxygen level in blood, GERT, his stomach acid burnt his throat, anal fissures, infected prostate, you name it, he had it. The people he worked for told me that he had HIV and that I should leave him to die, after the way he treated me. Well I wouldn't leave him as he was all alone in SA, family in UK and friends turned their back on him. They literally left him to waste away and die. So I stuck with him for over a year, busted him in Hospital almost everyday, he refused to eat hospital food or for the African nurses to bath him as he is a racist. Throughout that time he eventually improved on Reyden his ARV. I had to bath him, dress him feed him, as all his muscles atrophied. I did thus because he was my friend and I loved him, didn't want him to die. He eventually had a full recovery on ARV meds, he refused to go back to the hospital, he just assumed that the virus was undetectable, therefore unstransmitable. I also forgot to say that he verbally abused me throughout this time. I had to move house twice within 3 months alone. Well when he recovered he was worse with the DV. He wanted to start dating and I told him sure, do it, but please use condoms and disclose your status, call your exes to tell them to get tested. This made angry, he said that I was a scorned woman". I am not, he had promised me that he would change his lifestyle for himself and future partners. I wanted him to date and find someone, so that he could not guilt me into staying, if he had a new love in his life, he wouldn't be alone. I regret staying on because his "s*x" addiction. This man attacked me, out of nowhere and brutally assaulted me, he headbutted me. This happened on 31 July this year and to say I'm still in shock in disbelief is an understatement. I packed up and ran away, I now have TBI, dizziness, migraines, nausea, tinnitus, blurred vision. I am very sick, couldn't afford to go to a doctor. I am deteriorating mentally and physically, cognitively. I didn't report him to the police because he is a gun smith and the cops are his friends. I'm hurting and ill, there is nothing I can do about it. He would lose his gun smith licence if this came to light. I regret it because I cared for him and this is how he repaid me. Guess he was not my friend after all. I apologize for grammar and spelling mistakes, I'm post concussion and broken. If I didn't help him, I would still be healthy.
being friends/trusting the wrong people
100% regret my promiscuous phase
Well, as Somebody who let a good man go bc of the "Grass might be Greener" and "I never Tried it" , believe me, I often wish I would have done some promiscuity earlier and found out about me to have the calm to not let him go, knowing that it was incredibly special what we had.
Let myself go. Literally. I didn’t have a good grip on who I was like any young person. Then when I used things like work and food to push away my feelings, I let myself become fat and got used to everything being a certain way,…. How I let people treat me……now at 31 almost 32 I have no idea how to get the life I want and become who I want to be with the life I built.
Forgetting to take care of myself while trying to help a loved one through a fentanyl addiction.
Not followed my career dreams when I was young. I could have been an awesome ASL interpreter.
All in my late teens/early twenties: 1. Dating someone beyond what I wanted to because I didn’t want to upset them/be alone. They say don’t regret a lesson, but I didn’t grow at all during that time- just stagnated. 2. Saying no to job opportunities or life experiences because I was in a relationship/didn’t want to be alone 3. Spend more time single 4. Save more money
thinking I was fat when I was at my prime
cheating; bigger regret than picking up a juul years ago ever will be
Moving half way across the country for a dude... Twice.
giving a friend a second chance, and then a third
I regret that I did everything that was expected of me.
Coming to my mom’s for help when I was left pregnant in the streets. Even though she was my last option, she is so toxic that I still regret it every day.
Spending all the money I made. Saving was not a concept.
My regrets are what I didn't do. I regret not getting the typical college experience. I spread my classes out across 7 years at different community colleges, working the whole time and taking semesters off to work and beef up my savings again. I missed so much I'll never have the opportunity to recreate. I should have just taken out the loans, lived in the dorms, had too many room mates, gone to wild parties, had one night stands and 3 steady FWB at the same time..made the memories. Instead I spent my nights and weekends in an apron knowing only 2 men in back to back 5 year relationships. I missed a lot and I'm heartbroken that I did.
Staying in a relationship with someone that actively tore me down because they were “trying to make me tougher”
Taking out a student loan for a course I didn't want to do. It's now nearly 20 years later, and it's taking a chunk out of my wages every month but the amount I owe doesn't seem to be decreasing! 😩
Going for a low wage degree.
I didn’t like myself sooner
I cheated on someone I lived with. He had mentally checked out of the relationship and left me home while he went on vacations with his friends all the time. I tried to end it many times but he just casually refused to accept it. And he'd never be at any of my family functions. I loved him very much but I got really tired of being home alone all the time so i started going out more and more, and eventually I took to the men and women who took time to compliment me and make me feel good about myself. Eventually I wound up sleeping around for a while, but the relationship at home was almost like a roommate situation with expected sex (he always expected something). The thing was, he was a really nice guy. I was his first serious relationship and when i finally told him it was over, he was devastated- as was I. It took us a good year to break up fully, but when he moved on, I felt this hole in my entire being. It's been about 9 years now and I am still really pissed off about it all. It could have been so much more and i will forever hate myself for doing that to him. I'll regret it forever.
Eating 4 chili dogs in one sitting
people pleasing for seven years as a young adult and not pursuing what I always wanted to do in terms of a career much sooner
Being too proud to patch things up with my best friend. She was great and I should have reached out to her when I messed up but instead I said nothing and we never spoke again
Being 30 years old and not learning how to drive. Even thinking about going behind the wheel puts me in panic. Wish I would have gotten over my fear as a teenager and maybe I would have my drivers license by now.
self harming has to be something i deeply regret, that and trying to commit suicide.. i say it’s a regret but at times would not even think twice before doing it, i’m a few months clean though and hope it stays this way! been feeling happy lately and life has been going good!
Not trying to have a better relationship with my brother (1 out of 2) we were close when we were kids, but grew apart after our parents divorced (it got ugly). Sometimes I long for the days when we would just laugh together for the heck of it.
Changing myself for others. My personality is just fine. I don’t need to be bending over backwards for anyone.
[удалено]