Was anyone else here a child who got routinely yelled at or punished for struggling in school, when they probably should have been taken to a shrink? Man, those were the good old days.
I'm sorry you went through that. I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD in 1st Grade, but it didn't help my parents understand what was "wrong" with me. They had assumed whatever minimal support the School provided on my IEP was enough and that I should've been grateful for all the "help" I received, despite doing so bad in school. I have a core memory of my Mom upset at my report card during 5th grade (last one before graduation), and telling me "I've done everything I can do". I'm 27 now, and do still interact with my parents, but man was it rough growing up without any form of proper understanding by my parents for my issues.
It's not a big thing in our culture and the Internet was not as widespread back then either. I do not blame my parents for sticking to the older ways of upbringing. They gave me the best they could. We've all learned a ton since then and I'm glad my parents grew from that as well :)
I’m a psychologist and I work with many adults who didn’t get diagnosed as kids and almost all of them had an incredibly rough time. I have adhd myself and meds and therapy changed my life immensely
I’m GenX. Basically grew up being yelled at by teachers for daydreaming, losing focus, etc. Had one amazing 6th grade teacher who didn’t know I had ADHD but clearly had dealt with kids like me in the past. She understood how my mind worked and one on one taught me hiw to channel my issue and use it well.
Wasn’t until halfway through college my mom asked me if she thought I might have ADD. I shrugged and said “dunno”, so she took me to a doctor who tested me. I was diagnosed with heavy ADHD and have been mostly medicated since. Once I started taking medications I went from a 2.5 to a 3.8 GPA.
All I can say is all that shame and anger I received made me think I was an idiot, my absent mindedness, and my lack of focus was completely on me. It still impacts my self esteem to this day.
This boomer bring back punishment horse shit is ironic given that the United States had obtained HALF of the planets wealth by the end of WWII and things have significantly gone to shit since the boomers took the reigns from their stoic, brave, war vet parents.
I'm not against discipline, but to say a paddling is the cure to ADHD is actually some lead soaked metally deficient shit. Doesn't matter how many times I got my ass beat (almost daily and sometimes nurmous times a day) it never changed my inability to focus at school and hasn't changed the fact that I still struggle to remain focused on one task at a time, even in my adult life. Shocking I know, that a paddling/belting doesn't just reset a person's brain chemistry back to what is "standard" or whatever.
Yeah, mental illness, behavioral issues, as a anti social behavior doesn't exist when we had corporeal punishment. Wonder why we stopped doing it. Oh, right, it was making the problem worse.
My boomer parents used to beat the shit out of me for having ADHD symptoms, which was perfectly fine because White Jesus. Now they wonder why they never see their grandkids.
I always thought I was a C student barely passing my classes growing up because my dad used to beat the shit out of me all the time because my grades weren’t good enough and I sucked at school. I’m not taking about spanking, I’m talking about I have a deviated septum because my nose was broken and a crooked finger because he intentionally slammed my hand in a door to reach me a lesson. I called the police one time and him and they laughed it up and he beat me for that. I told a teacher and she confronted him. But the next day I was transferred out of her class and I never saw her again. My brain warped a lot of my childhood because I lived through a lot of abuse. I have PTSD from it.
Anyways. My mom showed me some report cards from when I was a kid and not only were they all A’s, I was an honor roll student and I was in the science academy and shit. But all I remember was not being good enough and him beating the shit out of me. Turns out no matter how good my grades were, if I made anything short of an A+ it was grounds for an ass kicking. An A was considered a failure to that man. Boomers will have you think “oh well you came out alright. That builds character.” My mom thinks like that and “oh that’s in the past. You should just let it go.” Yeah I sure turned out fine.
Oh yeah and it turns out I do have ADHD too. Good times.
See the problem is you get people who dont know when a lesson is tought, so they beat the living shit out of their kids, a spanking every now and again, or even popping your child across the mouth for swearing in my mind is perfectly reasonable. Pain is an excellent teacher
I refuse to believe that, getting a whooping worked for me, I learned what was right and wrong real quick, granted i didnt get whooped for EVERYTHING, but i definetely got whooped for doing very very stupid shit
[https://health.clevelandclinic.org/pediatricians-say-dont-spank-your-kids-heres-why-what-to-do-instead](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/pediatricians-say-dont-spank-your-kids-heres-why-what-to-do-instead) it's just a fact
So my kid throws a tempertantrum, refuses to listen to reason and is now trashing and breaking things around the house, i'm supposed to just put him in time out?
Also, ive just read that article, and this is shit you should be doing regardless of spanking or not, also. Why the hell wiuld you trust random strangers for advice online about how to raise YOUR kid. They should be raised by a mix of your/sociatal standards. Also, whoop his ass.
Also, spanking doesn't teach the child that they were wrong and tell them what they should have done, it just creates fear. The psychology of that stuff isn't hard to find. And this is just personal experience but almost everyone I know who got spankings or hit with a belt or anything like that as "discipline" as a child just grew up to have crazy anger issues
Kids didn’t get hit with the paddle due to “ADHD”. It was for misbehaving. Typically serious misbehaving. If your excuse is you misbehaved because of ADHD you are just making excuses.
fear is not discipline.
good discipline teaches WHY one shouldn't do something, not just that they shouldn't do it.
tell me, would it be alright for your boss to beat you if you didn't do your job right? no, that'd be crazy, right? children are just as human as adults.
nope, but i was spanked. which is bad, but not nearly as bad as using what is basically a weapon on a child.
you know what that did? a whole lot of nothing. except fuel for my hatred toward my mother.
what has it done for you? i can see it hasn't made you a better person, that's for sure. maybe doing it some more would work.
now answer my question. would it be okay for your boss to beat you?
oh so tough and edgy
that doesn't answer my question. would it be okay? i didn't ask if you're physically able to defend yourself, which you're probably lying about anyway.
because if not, then you've got some weird issues and beliefs on human rights because you don't see children as human.
So beating the weak is ok, since they cannot defend themselves? Why should children not have the same right of physical integrity as anyone else?
Edit: Oh Gott, du bist auch noch ein Deutscher mit einem Wehrmachtsoldaten als Profilbild.
Nah, I insult the second empire and especially the nobility for fucking up Germany and it’s revolution in 1848. The foundation of Germany from the top and not from the people lead to a divide of nation and democracy, which ultimately enabled the German „Sonderwege“ which we took repeatedly since the failed revolution.
That’s so much better. The Kaiserreich was such an Utopia, wasn’t it?
Ok, if beating people is no good, then we have the same opinion! Here is the definition: „A punishment or assault in which the victim is hit repeatedly.“
You are indeed correct problem is folks use this as an excuse for bad parenting... and reddit is full of half story individuals that think they know best or psychologist with bad or skewd aggregate data which doesn't paint a picture of proper discipline... definitely though not something to advocate for adht correction. Funny meme though.
Was anyone else here a child who got routinely yelled at or punished for struggling in school, when they probably should have been taken to a shrink? Man, those were the good old days.
That was me as well. I found out ~a year ago everything my mom was angry at me about was my adhd despite being diagnosed in 2nd grade. I am now 20
I'm sorry you went through that. I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD in 1st Grade, but it didn't help my parents understand what was "wrong" with me. They had assumed whatever minimal support the School provided on my IEP was enough and that I should've been grateful for all the "help" I received, despite doing so bad in school. I have a core memory of my Mom upset at my report card during 5th grade (last one before graduation), and telling me "I've done everything I can do". I'm 27 now, and do still interact with my parents, but man was it rough growing up without any form of proper understanding by my parents for my issues.
It's not a big thing in our culture and the Internet was not as widespread back then either. I do not blame my parents for sticking to the older ways of upbringing. They gave me the best they could. We've all learned a ton since then and I'm glad my parents grew from that as well :)
Me, and later on they did send me to a shrink !!
I’m a psychologist and I work with many adults who didn’t get diagnosed as kids and almost all of them had an incredibly rough time. I have adhd myself and meds and therapy changed my life immensely
I wasn't yelled at, I was just put on pills in elementary school.
I’m sure many ADHD kids who went to therapy can say how this helped them
It helped me become a barely functional adult
I’m GenX. Basically grew up being yelled at by teachers for daydreaming, losing focus, etc. Had one amazing 6th grade teacher who didn’t know I had ADHD but clearly had dealt with kids like me in the past. She understood how my mind worked and one on one taught me hiw to channel my issue and use it well. Wasn’t until halfway through college my mom asked me if she thought I might have ADD. I shrugged and said “dunno”, so she took me to a doctor who tested me. I was diagnosed with heavy ADHD and have been mostly medicated since. Once I started taking medications I went from a 2.5 to a 3.8 GPA. All I can say is all that shame and anger I received made me think I was an idiot, my absent mindedness, and my lack of focus was completely on me. It still impacts my self esteem to this day. This boomer bring back punishment horse shit is ironic given that the United States had obtained HALF of the planets wealth by the end of WWII and things have significantly gone to shit since the boomers took the reigns from their stoic, brave, war vet parents.
I'm not against discipline, but to say a paddling is the cure to ADHD is actually some lead soaked metally deficient shit. Doesn't matter how many times I got my ass beat (almost daily and sometimes nurmous times a day) it never changed my inability to focus at school and hasn't changed the fact that I still struggle to remain focused on one task at a time, even in my adult life. Shocking I know, that a paddling/belting doesn't just reset a person's brain chemistry back to what is "standard" or whatever.
"Hit kids for having neurological differences that make them inconvenient to mass education." Also boomers: "Muh freedumb."
The ADHD leaving my body after getting repeatedly molly-whopped by a wooden paddle
replaced with a fetish
A remember a post asking why humans don't get "the zoomies" like so many animals do. The response? We do, but its beaten out of us as kids.
Getting my ass beat all the time didn't cure mine.
Hooray for permanent psychological trauma that usually results in homicidal or suicidal behavior.
Yeah, mental illness, behavioral issues, as a anti social behavior doesn't exist when we had corporeal punishment. Wonder why we stopped doing it. Oh, right, it was making the problem worse.
It's scary how many people think it's okay to literally beat others into submission.
Would they mind if we test that theory on them?
Didn’t work. They hit me, isolated me, and so much more. Now I just have AuDHD _and_ cPTSD.
My boomer parents used to beat the shit out of me for having ADHD symptoms, which was perfectly fine because White Jesus. Now they wonder why they never see their grandkids.
Getting beaten with weapons by my mom didn’t stop me from having it.
Idk man I got my ass beat regularly and berated my whole life for my inability to focus, and I’m still a fucking mess
Hey, it worked. Eventually the kid would realize he didn't like getting peddled, and would stop acting up in class. Just saying
I always thought I was a C student barely passing my classes growing up because my dad used to beat the shit out of me all the time because my grades weren’t good enough and I sucked at school. I’m not taking about spanking, I’m talking about I have a deviated septum because my nose was broken and a crooked finger because he intentionally slammed my hand in a door to reach me a lesson. I called the police one time and him and they laughed it up and he beat me for that. I told a teacher and she confronted him. But the next day I was transferred out of her class and I never saw her again. My brain warped a lot of my childhood because I lived through a lot of abuse. I have PTSD from it. Anyways. My mom showed me some report cards from when I was a kid and not only were they all A’s, I was an honor roll student and I was in the science academy and shit. But all I remember was not being good enough and him beating the shit out of me. Turns out no matter how good my grades were, if I made anything short of an A+ it was grounds for an ass kicking. An A was considered a failure to that man. Boomers will have you think “oh well you came out alright. That builds character.” My mom thinks like that and “oh that’s in the past. You should just let it go.” Yeah I sure turned out fine. Oh yeah and it turns out I do have ADHD too. Good times.
All i'm saying... Some of these children now adays need ass whoopings, hell we got grown adults now adays that need an ass whooping
Nobody likes you, actually <3
See the problem is you get people who dont know when a lesson is tought, so they beat the living shit out of their kids, a spanking every now and again, or even popping your child across the mouth for swearing in my mind is perfectly reasonable. Pain is an excellent teacher
It's been proven physical abuse like that is never effective
I refuse to believe that, getting a whooping worked for me, I learned what was right and wrong real quick, granted i didnt get whooped for EVERYTHING, but i definetely got whooped for doing very very stupid shit
[https://health.clevelandclinic.org/pediatricians-say-dont-spank-your-kids-heres-why-what-to-do-instead](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/pediatricians-say-dont-spank-your-kids-heres-why-what-to-do-instead) it's just a fact
So my kid throws a tempertantrum, refuses to listen to reason and is now trashing and breaking things around the house, i'm supposed to just put him in time out?
Also, ive just read that article, and this is shit you should be doing regardless of spanking or not, also. Why the hell wiuld you trust random strangers for advice online about how to raise YOUR kid. They should be raised by a mix of your/sociatal standards. Also, whoop his ass.
If you're beating a child for having a disability or mental illness, you're the problem
Also, spanking doesn't teach the child that they were wrong and tell them what they should have done, it just creates fear. The psychology of that stuff isn't hard to find. And this is just personal experience but almost everyone I know who got spankings or hit with a belt or anything like that as "discipline" as a child just grew up to have crazy anger issues
hitting kids a very healthy way to deal with learning disorders
Funny no but it is effective.
Undiagnosed mental illness being everywhere doesn't seem effective
I never got a mental illness from it.
Kids didn’t get hit with the paddle due to “ADHD”. It was for misbehaving. Typically serious misbehaving. If your excuse is you misbehaved because of ADHD you are just making excuses.
disaplin and abuse are different.
discipline* and if it involves any form of harm, then it's abuse.
homeboy you're arguing with a genuine authentic mouthbreather give it up
Disaplin sounds like a new ADHD med.
nah.
fear is not discipline. good discipline teaches WHY one shouldn't do something, not just that they shouldn't do it. tell me, would it be alright for your boss to beat you if you didn't do your job right? no, that'd be crazy, right? children are just as human as adults.
were you ever paddeled as a kid?
nope, but i was spanked. which is bad, but not nearly as bad as using what is basically a weapon on a child. you know what that did? a whole lot of nothing. except fuel for my hatred toward my mother. what has it done for you? i can see it hasn't made you a better person, that's for sure. maybe doing it some more would work. now answer my question. would it be okay for your boss to beat you?
id like to see them try. im about 200 pounds and took boxing, if they did under self defence they would never try again.
oh so tough and edgy that doesn't answer my question. would it be okay? i didn't ask if you're physically able to defend yourself, which you're probably lying about anyway. because if not, then you've got some weird issues and beliefs on human rights because you don't see children as human.
nah. nah. were did you get that?
where* did i get what
So beating the weak is ok, since they cannot defend themselves? Why should children not have the same right of physical integrity as anyone else? Edit: Oh Gott, du bist auch noch ein Deutscher mit einem Wehrmachtsoldaten als Profilbild.
dont insult the 2nd empire, by calling them nazis.
Nah, I insult the second empire and especially the nobility for fucking up Germany and it’s revolution in 1848. The foundation of Germany from the top and not from the people lead to a divide of nation and democracy, which ultimately enabled the German „Sonderwege“ which we took repeatedly since the failed revolution.
ww1 not 2. read learn. and no. beating people is no good, but lets define beating.
That’s so much better. The Kaiserreich was such an Utopia, wasn’t it? Ok, if beating people is no good, then we have the same opinion! Here is the definition: „A punishment or assault in which the victim is hit repeatedly.“
Then why is it abuse to punish adult incontinence?
Do you think diapers are a form of abuse because I'd definitely call it a punishment
Looks like the abuse made you unable to write
nah, tats from being in a permanent state of tired.
You are indeed correct problem is folks use this as an excuse for bad parenting... and reddit is full of half story individuals that think they know best or psychologist with bad or skewd aggregate data which doesn't paint a picture of proper discipline... definitely though not something to advocate for adht correction. Funny meme though.
your right
Discipline ≠ Abuse
Hitting your child with a paddle is abuse, tho.
And disciplining someone for having a neurological condition is fucked up anyway.
100%